Latest / Beautifully Complex / 318: Neuroscience, Mental Health & Sleep Optimization, with Ariel Garten

Transcript

318: Neuroscience, Mental Health & Sleep Optimization, with Ariel Garten · Beautifully Complex

0:01
Speaker 1: Most of us are used to having thoughts and we
0:04
Speaker 1: just think those thoughts. Those are just the thoughts in
0:05
Speaker 1: our head, and they drive us a little crazy or
0:07
Speaker 1: they make us happy, and that's what it is. And
0:10
Speaker 1: when you do this exercise of noticing that your mind
0:13
Speaker 1: is on a thought and it's wandering, and then choosing
0:15
Speaker 1: to bring your attention back to your breath, like choosing
0:18
Speaker 1: to say, hey, I don't want to follow that thought,
0:21
Speaker 1: then all of a sudden, you've shifted your relationship to
0:24
Speaker 1: your thinking and you can now start to be in
0:26
Speaker 1: control and the master of your own thoughts in your
0:29
Speaker 1: own mind.
0:31
Speaker 2: Welcome to beautifully Complex, where we unpack what it really
0:34
Speaker 2: means to parent neurodivergent kids with dignity and clarity. I'm
0:38
Speaker 2: Penny Williams, and I know firsthand how tough and transformative
0:43
Speaker 2: this journey can be. Let's dive in and discover how
0:46
Speaker 2: to raise regulated, resilient, beautifully complex kids together. Oh and
0:51
Speaker 2: if you want more support, join our free community at
0:55
Speaker 2: hub dot beautifully complex dot life. Hi, everybody, welcome back
1:03
Speaker 2: to beautifully Complex. I am really thrilled to have Ariel
1:08
Speaker 2: Garten here with me, co founder of muse neuroscientist. She'll
1:12
Speaker 2: tell you lots more about herself in a moment, but
1:15
Speaker 2: we're going to talk about neuroscience and the brain body
1:18
Speaker 2: connection and tech that can help us with sleep optimization
1:23
Speaker 2: and mindfulness and meditation practices. And it's something that I'm
1:27
Speaker 2: actually familiar with with my own kid for several years now,
1:30
Speaker 2: so I'm so excited to have a chat about what's
1:33
Speaker 2: behind it and how it works, and why it works
1:35
Speaker 2: and how it can benefit those of you who are listening. Ariel,
1:39
Speaker 2: will you start by letting everybody know who you are
1:41
Speaker 2: and what you do. Sure?
1:43
Speaker 1: So, my name is Ariel. I'm a mom of two.
1:46
Speaker 1: I have a three year old and a nine year
1:47
Speaker 1: old and I love them very dearly. And my background
1:52
Speaker 1: is neuroscience and psychotherapy, and I make a tool called
1:55
Speaker 1: Muse which tracks your brain to help you meditate and
1:59
Speaker 1: improve hopefully your brain and your life.
2:02
Speaker 2: Awesome. Let's start with talking about the mind body connection
2:07
Speaker 2: and the science behind mindfulness practice, meditation practice, and all
2:12
Speaker 2: these other things.
2:13
Speaker 1: So meditation is a real phenomenon that makes real change
2:17
Speaker 1: in your brain. Most people hear the term meditation and
2:20
Speaker 1: they're like, okay, is that like this weird thing. Note.
2:22
Speaker 1: Meditation is a simple practice that you do and as
2:26
Speaker 1: you do it, it strengthens parts of your brain and
2:29
Speaker 1: teaches your body to calm and teaches you to better
2:33
Speaker 1: self regulate. So the most common form of meditation that
2:37
Speaker 1: we do is a focused attention on the breath practice,
2:40
Speaker 1: and you'll simply be watching your breath, and as you
2:43
Speaker 1: do this, you are going to have some thoughts that
2:46
Speaker 1: come up. Because everybody's like, oh no, I have to
2:49
Speaker 1: like have my mind go blank, that's not what meditation is.
2:52
Speaker 1: You're just going to have some thoughts go up, and
2:54
Speaker 1: instead of following those thoughts, you're going to choose to
2:57
Speaker 1: let those thoughts go and bring your attention back to
2:59
Speaker 1: your breath. And when you do this, it actually makes
3:03
Speaker 1: a profound transformation in your mind and your relationship to
3:07
Speaker 1: your thinking, because for the first time, you are actually
3:11
Speaker 1: shifting your thinking. Most of us are used to having
3:14
Speaker 1: thoughts and we just think those thoughts. Those are just
3:16
Speaker 1: the thoughts in our head and they drive us a
3:18
Speaker 1: little crazy or they make us happy, and that's what
3:20
Speaker 1: it is. Yeah, And when you do this exercise of
3:23
Speaker 1: noticing that your mind is on a thought and it's
3:26
Speaker 1: wandering and then choosing to bring your attention back to
3:28
Speaker 1: your breath, like choosing to say, hey, I don't want
3:31
Speaker 1: to follow that thought. Then all of a sudden, you've
3:34
Speaker 1: shifted your relationship to your thinking and you can now
3:37
Speaker 1: start to be in control and the master of your
3:40
Speaker 1: own thoughts, in your own mind.
3:42
Speaker 2: And what are the benefits of that? What are the
3:43
Speaker 2: outcomes that we can get from having this mindfulness practice
3:48
Speaker 2: and being able to self regulate and to somewhat control
3:54
Speaker 2: our thinking.
3:55
Speaker 1: Yeah, so self regulation is huge, and the benefits that
4:00
Speaker 1: it leads to are the ability to have better conversations,
4:04
Speaker 1: to be less likely to yell at your kids. Because
4:07
Speaker 1: you can watch your body having a reaction or having
4:10
Speaker 1: a thought, and then instead of just following it, you
4:13
Speaker 1: can watch the reaction. You can watch the anger rise,
4:16
Speaker 1: you can watch the stuff happening and then take a
4:19
Speaker 1: beat and say, okay, feeling this thing, but it doesn't
4:22
Speaker 1: mean I need to act in this way. So it
4:24
Speaker 1: gives you a little space between the reaction and how
4:28
Speaker 1: you actually choose to respond in the situation. And this
4:32
Speaker 1: can improve our relationships obviously, it can improve your productivity
4:36
Speaker 1: at work, and it can also improve our bodies. So
4:40
Speaker 1: there are lots of studies that demonstrate that meditating can
4:43
Speaker 1: improve chronic conditions because it decreases the stress and cortersol
4:47
Speaker 1: in your body. So there's lots of studies even done
4:50
Speaker 1: with news demonstrating that news can improve long COVID and
4:53
Speaker 1: fibermialgia and Cushing syndromes, stress related syndromes. Because when you
4:59
Speaker 1: learn to train your mind and downregulate your stress response,
5:04
Speaker 1: much of your not only your mind, but your physiology
5:07
Speaker 1: your body can also improve.
5:09
Speaker 2: And we found it useful for anxiety too, and being
5:12
Speaker 2: able to let go of thoughts. Right if you're ruminating
5:16
Speaker 2: on that anxious thinking, it can we really help follow
5:19
Speaker 2: that practice. Do you talk about optimizing sleep as well
5:24
Speaker 2: with this tool? Can you tell us a little bit
5:27
Speaker 2: more about that?
5:28
Speaker 1: Sure? So, sleep is obviously incredibly important, and it's something
5:32
Speaker 1: that many of us do not get a lot of.
5:35
Speaker 1: Maybe you're not sleeping, your kids are not sleeping, and
5:38
Speaker 1: therefore you're not sleeping, But sleep is really important to
5:42
Speaker 1: actually improve your emotional self regulation. You know, we all
5:45
Speaker 1: know that when our kid hasn't had their nap or
5:48
Speaker 1: they missed yours sleep that night, they're going to be crankier. Well,
5:51
Speaker 1: the same goes for us parents if we don't sleep well.
5:55
Speaker 1: Adults also lose their emotional self regulation when they don't sleep,
5:59
Speaker 1: lose their ability to have better self control and willpower
6:03
Speaker 1: and cognitive functioning. So sleep is super key with Muse.
6:07
Speaker 1: And we haven't yet really talked about mus and what
6:09
Speaker 1: it is, but we actually have programs that give you
6:12
Speaker 1: bio neurow feedback to help you fall asleep faster and
6:15
Speaker 1: fall back asleep when you're woken up in the night.
6:17
Speaker 2: Let's go ahead and talk about meos. What is MEOS
6:20
Speaker 2: and how does it work. I think that's really fascinating
6:23
Speaker 2: for a lot of people, and we want to understand that,
6:25
Speaker 2: and then you can talk a little bit about how
6:28
Speaker 2: it leads to these benefits that we've already been talking about.
6:31
Speaker 1: Sure, so Muse is a clinical grade EEG, which is
6:35
Speaker 1: in this super slim, easy to wear form factor. So
6:39
Speaker 1: just in the way that we might have a fit
6:41
Speaker 1: bit on our wrist or a fitness watch, Muse tracks
6:44
Speaker 1: your brain activity just with a slim little headband connected
6:47
Speaker 1: to an app on your phone. It has a number
6:50
Speaker 1: of different uses inside of it. Overall, it's a brain
6:53
Speaker 1: fitness tool. The most popular use for it is to
6:57
Speaker 1: teach you to meditate. And what mused is it gives
7:00
Speaker 1: you real time feedback on your brain while you meditate,
7:04
Speaker 1: letting you know when you're meditating and when you're doing
7:06
Speaker 1: it right. So, as I said, most of us, you know,
7:09
Speaker 1: we know we should meditate, but meditation is hard to do.
7:12
Speaker 1: Some muse makes meditation easy by actually letting you hear
7:16
Speaker 1: what your mind is doing when you meditate. When you're focused,
7:19
Speaker 1: you hear little birds chirping that tell your brain, yip,
7:22
Speaker 1: you're doing it right. When your mind is wandering, you
7:24
Speaker 1: hear storm and rain come up that says, hey, your
7:27
Speaker 1: mind is wandering. Bring it back to the birds. Bring
7:29
Speaker 1: it back to the birds. And so it makes it
7:32
Speaker 1: a really simple process to start, both for parents and
7:36
Speaker 1: for kids. And then it tracks your progress so you
7:39
Speaker 1: see all your data and you see how you're improving.
7:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's really been a game changer in our house.
7:44
Speaker 2: I can't say enough good things about it. It does
7:48
Speaker 2: make meditation easy, honestly. It does really help you to
7:53
Speaker 2: bring your focus back to let go and say oh
7:55
Speaker 2: I'm wandering, just to notice like, oh I'm wandering. I
7:59
Speaker 2: need to come it's so easy to use and so helpful.
8:03
Speaker 2: Is there different products for kids and adults or is
8:06
Speaker 2: that one product that anybody can use.
8:08
Speaker 1: So we have two different devices. We've Mused two, which
8:11
Speaker 1: is for meditation, and then we have muse s actually
8:15
Speaker 1: new product Athena, which is for meditation, for sleep and
8:20
Speaker 1: overall brain health, and it has both EEG as well
8:23
Speaker 1: as sensors that track your frontal oxygenation. So it's a
8:27
Speaker 1: very very cool brain training device. And you can just
8:29
Speaker 1: buy one device and everybody in the household can use it.
8:33
Speaker 1: We say nobody under thirteen in the app because we
8:38
Speaker 1: comply with data policies around the world, and so you know,
8:42
Speaker 1: parents can choose what they want to do with it,
8:44
Speaker 1: but that's our official policy.
8:46
Speaker 2: Gotcha.
8:46
Speaker 1: But there's studies done with children that have demonstrated that
8:50
Speaker 1: MUSE is quite effective. There's one study from the Kansas
8:54
Speaker 1: State University and they had kids meditating with MUSE in
8:58
Speaker 1: a classroom in grade seven and eight and they saw
9:01
Speaker 1: a seventy four percent decrease in kids being sent to
9:03
Speaker 1: the detension to the principal's office.
9:06
Speaker 2: Yeah, emotional regulation is a big deal, right, Like emotional
9:11
Speaker 2: regulation is key to I think a fulfilling life. Honestly,
9:15
Speaker 2: it's a key to really moving through this world with
9:19
Speaker 2: some grit and resilience and the ability to navigate well.
9:24
Speaker 2: So it's so so powerful, and this connection with meditation
9:29
Speaker 2: and that self regulation is really interesting. I want to
9:33
Speaker 2: play Devil's advocate for a second, because I know a
9:35
Speaker 2: lot of parents really struggle with adding more tech for
9:39
Speaker 2: their kids, or their teens, or even themselves. I think, sometimes,
9:45
Speaker 2: how is tech really not intrusive in this way?
9:49
Speaker 1: Right?
9:50
Speaker 2: We think of meditation as like being still and quiet
9:52
Speaker 2: and not you know, engaging with anything else. And yet
9:56
Speaker 2: here we are using the tech to help us to
9:59
Speaker 2: meditate and to gain the skill. How do we sort
10:03
Speaker 2: of like really get okay with it? I guess sure.
10:07
Speaker 1: So as a parent, I certainly know the iPad battle
10:10
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah. Even as a person who you know,
10:14
Speaker 1: teaches meditation, I know the screen battles, and so different screens,
10:18
Speaker 1: different technologies have different roles in our lives. So having
10:23
Speaker 1: a pair of glasses that helps you see better, a
10:25
Speaker 1: mirror that you can look into, you know, all of
10:27
Speaker 1: these tools that we use to self discover and self
10:31
Speaker 1: improve are actually really really helpful. And so most of
10:35
Speaker 1: us have difficulty learning to meditate on our own sitting quietly,
10:38
Speaker 1: and the idea of sitting quietly is actually maybe even terrifying,
10:41
Speaker 1: sitting with your thoughts. Yeah, and so what we've built
10:45
Speaker 1: is a tool that really gives you and amplifies your
10:50
Speaker 1: own experience so that you're actually learning to listen to
10:54
Speaker 1: your mind's activity and learning to shift your own brain activity.
11:00
Speaker 1: So it's not just like you know, passive watching of
11:03
Speaker 1: crap on the internet. It's actually teaching you a skill,
11:07
Speaker 1: just like a teacher or a guide would do. There's
11:09
Speaker 1: actually a university researcher that contacted us who ran a
11:13
Speaker 1: study on news we have a kind of meditation called
11:16
Speaker 1: heart meditation where you listen to the beating of your
11:19
Speaker 1: heart to improve your interception, and he contacted us to
11:22
Speaker 1: learn more information because he was writing a paper that says, yes,
11:26
Speaker 1: doing our heart meditation improves your inter reception, and inter
11:29
Speaker 1: reception is your ability to sensibly understand your own state.
11:33
Speaker 1: So this is really a case in which technology is
11:36
Speaker 1: truly making you more sensitive to yourself and your own
11:40
Speaker 1: needs and your own stresses and your ability to self
11:42
Speaker 1: manage m hm.
11:43
Speaker 2: Instead of kind of escaping that by scrolling or watching mindlessly.
11:48
Speaker 1: And then on the kid's side, I must say it
11:50
Speaker 1: is incredibly helpful that it's a piece of technology that
11:54
Speaker 1: has a gamified way to meditate. They love it, teens
11:57
Speaker 1: love it, They do it a lot, and it's actually
12:00
Speaker 1: the way to get your kids to meditate.
12:11
Speaker 2: Let's talk about the timing, because I think a lot
12:13
Speaker 2: of people feel like they have to meditate for a
12:16
Speaker 2: large chunk of time to make a difference, and I
12:19
Speaker 2: know we've found in our household that that's not the case.
12:23
Speaker 2: What is recommend that what is the timeframe where you
12:26
Speaker 2: see results from using muse.
12:29
Speaker 1: So there've been hundreds of studies done with MEWS and
12:33
Speaker 1: in the interventional studies where MEWS is used to improve
12:38
Speaker 1: an outcome in your life. So there was a study
12:40
Speaker 1: by the Mayo Clinic where doctors at the Mayo Clinic
12:44
Speaker 1: used meuse during the pandemic when they were highly stressed
12:47
Speaker 1: and so they had very very little time, and the
12:49
Speaker 1: instruction to them was do it for two minutes a day,
12:52
Speaker 1: and so doctors did it on average five minutes a
12:55
Speaker 1: day over the course of I believe three months, and
12:59
Speaker 1: they saw a fifty four percent reduction and burnout, improvements
13:02
Speaker 1: in sleep, cognition, obvious reduction, and stress improvement and resilience.
13:07
Speaker 1: And when we looked at the data from the study,
13:09
Speaker 1: it really was an average of five minutes a day.
13:12
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's what we saw too, five minutes or less.
13:16
Speaker 2: As long as you're doing it frequently.
13:18
Speaker 1: I'm so curious about how you were using it. I mean,
13:20
Speaker 1: we just meat. This is the first thing I've heard
13:22
Speaker 1: that you and your family and household these news. That's
13:24
Speaker 1: like amazing to me.
13:25
Speaker 2: And I've been recommending MEWS for our years now. I
13:29
Speaker 2: have a kid who has a lot of anxiety and
13:31
Speaker 2: went away to college, and I was just desperate to
13:34
Speaker 2: find something to help. Medication wasn't really ideal for this kid.
13:39
Speaker 2: And I found mus online and I was like, if
13:43
Speaker 2: you'll try this, I'm going to send this to you.
13:44
Speaker 2: Please try it. And just the check in phone calls
13:48
Speaker 2: that we were having, I was noticing a substantial decrease
13:54
Speaker 2: and anxiety, a substantial decrease in like those ruminating thoughts,
14:00
Speaker 2: not being able to let go of what you're anxious
14:03
Speaker 2: about or be able to say like I get the alarm,
14:06
Speaker 2: I hear you body and nervous system. But I think
14:09
Speaker 2: it's a false alarm and I'm okay. It was Oh no,
14:13
Speaker 2: I'm not okay all the time, right, And so that
14:16
Speaker 2: practice was so helpful in being able to one even
14:21
Speaker 2: do it, I think authentically like to learn to meditate,
14:25
Speaker 2: to learn to be able to identify when your focus
14:29
Speaker 2: is waning, and to come back in a really gentle way.
14:33
Speaker 2: That feedback is very you know, a gentle way to
14:36
Speaker 2: do it. And my kid was actually sending me screenshots
14:40
Speaker 2: of the results and muse every morning, so that we
14:43
Speaker 2: had this accountability from afar, right, so that it helped
14:47
Speaker 2: to remember to do it every day, and every day
14:51
Speaker 2: those stats were going up and up and up of
14:54
Speaker 2: having more control over you know, that stress response over
14:59
Speaker 2: the meditation. It was brilliant. And as I said to
15:02
Speaker 2: you before we started recording, when my kid came home,
15:05
Speaker 2: the practice sort of waned and we're trying to get
15:07
Speaker 2: back to it, but almost immediately I noticed a reduction
15:13
Speaker 2: in anxiety just in the conversations we were having in
15:15
Speaker 2: the day to day. It was really remarkable, and so
15:18
Speaker 2: I've been recommending it ever since to everybody who'll listened
15:21
Speaker 2: to me.
15:22
Speaker 1: Wow, this is amazing. I'm so glad for your daughter.
15:26
Speaker 2: Thank you. Yeah, it's good stuff. And I've known for
15:29
Speaker 2: a long time in the work that i'm doing that
15:31
Speaker 2: mindfulness practice is really helpful. There's lots of studies to
15:35
Speaker 2: show and support that for ADHD, for autism, for anxiety, right,
15:39
Speaker 2: but so many people feel like they can't do it
15:43
Speaker 2: because their mind wanders, and that's not really what it's about.
15:46
Speaker 2: It's about being able to bring it back when your
15:49
Speaker 2: mind does wander, right, and so just having a tool
15:52
Speaker 2: that will help you to recognize that and to make
15:56
Speaker 2: that shift makes a huge difference for anybody who's kind
16:00
Speaker 2: of struggling with mindfulness or meditation. I'm going to over
16:04
Speaker 2: use the word remarkable here, but a lot. It really
16:06
Speaker 2: did make a monumental difference. I'm so appreciative that we're
16:11
Speaker 2: going down these avenues with tech, right with neuroscience and
16:15
Speaker 2: bettering people's lives with technology. It's pretty amazing.
16:19
Speaker 1: I'm so touched. I'm quite choked up. This is so beautiful.
16:23
Speaker 1: Oh wow.
16:24
Speaker 2: And you have so many, like what hundreds of thousands
16:27
Speaker 2: of millions of people maybe who are using mus at
16:29
Speaker 2: this point. That's just one great story among many. I'm sure.
16:32
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm really really quite choked up. Yeah, there about
16:36
Speaker 1: half a million people around the world that use news,
16:38
Speaker 1: but like it's rare that you actually, you know, meet
16:41
Speaker 1: someone and talk to them and get to connect in
16:43
Speaker 1: this way, get.
16:44
Speaker 2: The personal story. Yeah yeah, yeah, you have a lot
16:47
Speaker 2: of data, but I'm sure you have a lot of
16:49
Speaker 2: personal stories like ours too to support what you're doing. Yeah.
16:53
Speaker 2: It really can make a huge change. And I don't
16:55
Speaker 2: mean for this podcast episode to sound like an advertisement.
16:59
Speaker 2: It's not like we are chatting about the neuroscience and
17:02
Speaker 2: how great this tool is. But it's just something that
17:04
Speaker 2: I have found to be really helpful, and I know
17:07
Speaker 2: some of the families that I work with have ordered
17:10
Speaker 2: it and found good results with it also, So it
17:13
Speaker 2: was an investment that was very, very very worth it
17:17
Speaker 2: for sure.
17:17
Speaker 1: Wow yeah wow, Well send my love to your daughter.
17:21
Speaker 2: Absolutely absolutely, So that was really cool that we were
17:24
Speaker 2: going to chat and get kind of the behind the scenes.
17:28
Speaker 1: Yeah, did she have any questions I could answer for her?
17:31
Speaker 1: I don't think so.
17:32
Speaker 2: Okay, I don't think so. You know, young adult not
17:35
Speaker 2: so open these days a little bit. But anyway, I
17:40
Speaker 2: wanted to ask you too about how to weave this
17:43
Speaker 2: into real life right, we're talking about maybe using it
17:46
Speaker 2: with kids. We're talking about parents, adults who are stressed,
17:50
Speaker 2: they're exhausted. You know, we know that it's going to
17:53
Speaker 2: benefit those things, but often we're in this spot where
17:56
Speaker 2: we're just stuck in crisis mode and trying to move forward. Word,
18:00
Speaker 2: how can they weave it into the day to day
18:04
Speaker 2: where it can start to be helpful?
18:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I certainly certainly hear you on there's so
18:08
Speaker 1: many things in the day, how do you add one more.
18:11
Speaker 1: I was just talking to a friend who's becoming my
18:13
Speaker 1: running coach because I'm like, I need to exercise, Like,
18:16
Speaker 1: how can I do this? And she's like, oh, well,
18:18
Speaker 1: just the beginning of the day or at the end
18:19
Speaker 1: of I'm like, I have two kids. You don't, it's
18:23
Speaker 1: hard for you to understand what my life is like.
18:25
Speaker 1: But like, yeah, yeah, when's that can happen? She's like, oh, well,
18:28
Speaker 1: just an eight in the morning. You mean while I'm
18:30
Speaker 1: making breakfast?
18:31
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, And that's a long time frame. You're looking
18:34
Speaker 2: for a bigger tounk of time.
18:36
Speaker 1: Yeah. So the good thing about news and meditation is
18:38
Speaker 1: you can do it for very short periods of time,
18:41
Speaker 1: and I find it most effective to do in the
18:44
Speaker 1: evening after my kids are in bed, and then I
18:46
Speaker 1: can have that time to myself. I can put on
18:49
Speaker 1: my muse, I can have five minutes, ten minutes, twenty minutes,
18:52
Speaker 1: whatever I have available, and then do my meditation there.
18:56
Speaker 1: I also meditate in the morning in bed when I
19:00
Speaker 1: wake up, because that's the time when either the kids
19:04
Speaker 1: are not yet awake, or if they are awake and
19:06
Speaker 1: they holler like, mommy, come into my room, I can
19:08
Speaker 1: be like, I'm still asleep, give me five minutes, just
19:14
Speaker 1: five yeah, yeah, And so I find it a great
19:16
Speaker 1: way to start or end my day. Other people, though,
19:19
Speaker 1: if your kids are in school, you can, you know,
19:22
Speaker 1: and you're working, you know, on a lunch break, on
19:24
Speaker 1: a five minute break, you just need five minutes. And
19:27
Speaker 1: the key with it is really consistency. So try to
19:30
Speaker 1: find a place where it's going to fit into your day,
19:33
Speaker 1: where it can consistently happen. So, you know, maybe it's
19:37
Speaker 1: every night after you've cleaned up the kitchen and taken
19:39
Speaker 1: out the garbage and do twelve million things being a
19:42
Speaker 1: parent entails and you feel super exhausted and you just
19:45
Speaker 1: want to go to sleep. You're just going to take
19:47
Speaker 1: five minutes and do this because it's only five.
19:49
Speaker 2: Minutes, and start with too, like start with something small.
19:54
Speaker 1: Sure, start with two minutes. So we have programs inside
19:57
Speaker 1: the app like Introduction to Mindfulness, Discover Mind, Biofeedback, where
20:02
Speaker 1: it just becomes easy because you're listening to two or
20:05
Speaker 1: three minutes of content and then you're doing a mindfulness
20:08
Speaker 1: exercise and then you're done. And so you know, instead
20:12
Speaker 1: of the scrolling of the Instagram or the waking up
20:14
Speaker 1: on the phone, just put your muse by your bed,
20:17
Speaker 1: do that instead, and then you can go to sleep
20:19
Speaker 1: or you can wake up. So hm, you have to
20:23
Speaker 1: want the benefit of it in order to put it in.
20:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's key.
20:29
Speaker 1: And when you do put it into your schedule, it
20:31
Speaker 1: becomes so worthwhile, Like everything just becomes that much easier.
20:36
Speaker 2: Yeah.
20:36
Speaker 1: So it's like one of those things you know, like exercise,
20:39
Speaker 1: you just feel better for the rest of the day
20:41
Speaker 1: and thereafter. Just do it and know that the five
20:44
Speaker 1: minutes is going to make everything else easier.
20:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's going to save you time later, time stress
20:50
Speaker 2: that you time ruminating something, right, It's going to save
20:53
Speaker 2: you time in the long run. And my kidd oh
20:56
Speaker 2: that's what she did, and she had it by her
20:58
Speaker 2: bed and before she even got she did the meditation
21:01
Speaker 2: first and found that really effective to start the day,
21:05
Speaker 2: kind of giving yourself this even sort of sense, right,
21:10
Speaker 2: like not waking up and going, oh, I have to
21:11
Speaker 2: do all these things and I'm so worried about all
21:13
Speaker 2: these things. Just kind of give herself a little bit
21:15
Speaker 2: of calm to start out.
21:17
Speaker 1: It was amazing, And we also find people that use
21:20
Speaker 1: it in the evening it improves sleep, so that's also
21:24
Speaker 1: another great reason to just do it before you go
21:26
Speaker 1: to bed, and if you have the Muse, so if
21:28
Speaker 1: you're the Muse too, you can do meditation before we
21:30
Speaker 1: go to bed if you have the MUSS. We also
21:32
Speaker 1: have things like something called the Digital Sleeping Pill, which
21:35
Speaker 1: gives you buyo nerve feedback to help you fall asleep.
21:37
Speaker 1: I need that we have meditation specifically for sleep, so
21:41
Speaker 1: you can wear the band and just fall asleep after
21:44
Speaker 1: your meditation, and then it also tracks your sleep actually
21:47
Speaker 1: basically as effectively as the EEG. You have a sleep lab,
21:51
Speaker 1: so it gives you really hot quality sleep data. And
21:53
Speaker 1: if you're using the Digital Sleeping Pill, if you fall
21:55
Speaker 1: asleep in the night and you wake up, it starts
21:58
Speaker 1: to give you a beautiful Audie experience that helps you
22:00
Speaker 1: fall back asleep. So lots of people who really found
22:03
Speaker 1: it effective to help them through you know, fragmented sleep
22:08
Speaker 1: or through that feeling of just lying awake not being
22:10
Speaker 1: able to sleep because your mind is racing.
22:12
Speaker 2: That's me. I've always startled to fall asleep. So yeah,
22:17
Speaker 2: start using it at night too, then, amazing, what else
22:21
Speaker 2: do we need to know?
22:21
Speaker 1: What?
22:22
Speaker 2: Are are there any other like little habits that parents
22:25
Speaker 2: can instill that will support what we're talking about here,
22:30
Speaker 2: support self regulasha and that sort of thing.
22:33
Speaker 1: Sure, So one is you know, parents and kids meditating
22:38
Speaker 1: together can be really helpful. You can make it like
22:41
Speaker 1: a challenge who can meditate longer if you've got the muse.
22:44
Speaker 1: We have things like birds and points, so you know,
22:46
Speaker 1: who can get more birds, who can get more points?
22:49
Speaker 1: That's a great way to get the whole family doing
22:51
Speaker 1: it and competing with each other.
22:53
Speaker 2: Yeah love that.
22:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, I smile, because if you want to get a
22:56
Speaker 1: kid to tie their shoes, they'll never do it. If
22:58
Speaker 1: you say who can tie your shoes? The fast scrambling
23:02
Speaker 1: to get their shoes on?
23:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, for most kids. Some of them will making
23:05
Speaker 2: more ink shows, but for most kids it's like, oh,
23:07
Speaker 2: I want to win, I can do this, I want
23:10
Speaker 2: to compete.
23:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, And then general tips for parents to self regulate.
23:15
Speaker 1: One is take frequent breaks to check in and breathe deeply.
23:20
Speaker 1: So when you take a deep breath, like a slow
23:24
Speaker 1: exhale on your breath, belly breath, you are triggering your
23:30
Speaker 1: nervous system to calm down. So when you breathe into
23:33
Speaker 1: your stomach, it triggers something called your biggest nerve, which
23:37
Speaker 1: is the nerve in our body responsible for the rest
23:39
Speaker 1: and digest, for calming and chilling out. And so the
23:43
Speaker 1: easiest way to reset. If you're starting to feel yourself
23:47
Speaker 1: being ramped, you know, your muscles, tents, that feeling in
23:50
Speaker 1: your stomach or your chest, or like that feeling of anger, hatred,
23:54
Speaker 1: you know, whatever it is. Stop take deep breaths, breathe
23:59
Speaker 1: into your belly, slow, slow exhales, even if it feels weird,
24:04
Speaker 1: just you know, do it five times. Calm yourself down,
24:08
Speaker 1: and then look at the situation from that perspective, because
24:12
Speaker 1: everything that we are feeling is great, it's there. We
24:16
Speaker 1: have a right to be feeling that, but it's not
24:18
Speaker 1: necessarily helpful in the moment. So you know, it's a feeling.
24:22
Speaker 1: Feelings come, feelings go. You could feel different later. And
24:25
Speaker 1: so if you take that moment to start to relax
24:28
Speaker 1: your body and shift your state, you can move yourself
24:31
Speaker 1: out of that terrible in the moment feeling and then
24:35
Speaker 1: take a step back and then start it calm, because
24:38
Speaker 1: we know that if we're ramped and anxious, it's going
24:42
Speaker 1: to make our kids more ramped and anxious. And it
24:44
Speaker 1: can feel like you're, you know, a patron saint of calm,
24:48
Speaker 1: just you know, trying to like chill yourself out constantly
24:50
Speaker 1: when they're doing things that are really genuinely trying and
24:53
Speaker 1: difficult and have a lot of emotions for you involved
24:56
Speaker 1: in it. Yeah, and so all of those difficulties are real,
25:01
Speaker 1: and you know, whenever you can just remember to stop,
25:05
Speaker 1: take deep breaths, calm down, and then represent yourself.
25:11
Speaker 2: I call it coregulation or co escalation. You can come
25:15
Speaker 2: in and fuel the fire. You can come in and
25:17
Speaker 2: bring some calm for your kid tomorrow makes all the
25:20
Speaker 2: difference in the world. Just taking a breath first before
25:23
Speaker 2: we respond. Thank you so much for sharing so much
25:27
Speaker 2: of the science behind us and why it works and
25:29
Speaker 2: what the benefits are. Can you tell everybody where to
25:32
Speaker 2: find more information, maybe the studies that you've mentioned, so
25:37
Speaker 2: that they can learn more about the tool.
25:39
Speaker 1: Sure, you can go to choosemuse dot com c h
25:42
Speaker 1: O O s E m U s E dot com
25:45
Speaker 1: and there you can see what it is that we've
25:47
Speaker 1: been talking about, and we have a research tab with
25:50
Speaker 1: quite a number of studies there on it, and you
25:53
Speaker 1: can always find us also on all the socials that
25:55
Speaker 1: at Choose Muse.
25:57
Speaker 2: Perfect and I will link all that up in the
25:59
Speaker 2: show notes, which you can find at parentingadhdan Autism dot
26:02
Speaker 2: com Slash three one eight for episode three eighteen. It
26:07
Speaker 2: has been a pleasure, Aril. I am just honored to
26:11
Speaker 2: have gotten a chance to speak to you and to
26:13
Speaker 2: learn more about this tool. It's been so amazing for
26:16
Speaker 2: us and inspired to use it more and to share
26:20
Speaker 2: it more. And I appreciate the work that you're doing
26:23
Speaker 2: to help us really improve our day to day lives.
26:26
Speaker 1: Oh, thank you so much. What a joy and pleasure
26:28
Speaker 1: to get to meet you today. Thank you.
26:30
Speaker 2: I'll see everybody on the next episode. Take good care.
26:36
Speaker 2: I see you. You're doing hard and meaningful work, and
26:39
Speaker 2: you don't have to do it alone. If you found
26:42
Speaker 2: this episode helpful, share it with someone who needs it
26:45
Speaker 2: and leave a quick review so others can find this
26:48
Speaker 2: support too. When you're ready for next steps, the Regulated
26:52
Speaker 2: Kids Project is here with the tools, coaching, and community
26:56
Speaker 2: to help you raise a more regulated, resilient childailed get
27:01
Speaker 2: more info at regulated kids dot com
27:12
Speaker 1: MHM