Latest / Blind But Now I See / Drama,Disability, and DMs

Transcript

Drama,Disability, and DMs · Blind But Now I See

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Back at it for another episode of The Brock and
• 0:01
  Speaker 1: I see show. I am your host, see you know,
• 0:04
  Speaker 1: the official blind step of the Voice of Disableds.
• 0:07
  Speaker 2: And I'm in here with Will. So you gotta come
• 0:10
  Speaker 2: up with a better routine than this.
• 0:12
  Speaker 3: You gotta be on point introduction.
• 0:14
  Speaker 4: It speaks for yourself. They see me, I'm.
• 0:16
  Speaker 3: Hot and I'm on with about that had that hot ship.
• 0:19
  Speaker 4: I don't even introduce myself and what they know? What
• 0:21
  Speaker 4: the fuck I am?
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: And we ain't here with the number one producer and
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: y s no be bigger than ye were in here
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: with the number one producer of the world. My dog
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: wolf behind the cameras. See that wolf with the white uncle,
• 0:35
  Speaker 1: with the white uncle with the slippers on the side.
• 0:40
  Speaker 1: You got a white girl, don't you yet? You know
• 0:44
  Speaker 1: we got two sixty five Canal Street where magic happens.
• 0:47
  Speaker 1: And you running point today because ain't gonna I still
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: got looking.
• 0:50
  Speaker 2: At my sister from my birthday.
• 0:51
  Speaker 3: I ain't even gonna hold yo.
• 0:53
  Speaker 4: You had a time? How was it?
• 0:55
  Speaker 2: I love Diamond the body.
• 0:58
  Speaker 4: She was a good time. She's a Gemini and she's
• 1:00
  Speaker 4: she's full.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: Yeah, her birthday is seventeen, me too, but she's full
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: of fun, she full of life, and you know, but.
• 1:05
  Speaker 2: That's enough that.
• 1:06
  Speaker 4: But you better remember my birthday too, since you remember
• 1:08
  Speaker 4: and people you just met, birthday June seventeenth, nigga or.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: It just said that your birthday is he gonna remember
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: d TV? Shit, I remember your birthday? Nah, I know, people,
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: that's seventeen. So we locked in. My mother that's my
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: mother had weather anniversary, So you locked in.
• 1:22
  Speaker 4: Okay, nice?
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: You all right?
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: So today we just want to come through with a
• 1:26
  Speaker 4: little bit of advice because it's a lot of people
• 1:28
  Speaker 4: that always hit me up and I'm sure a lot
• 1:29
  Speaker 4: of people hit you up about like dating and what
• 1:32
  Speaker 4: it's like to date while being blind. And what I
• 1:34
  Speaker 4: was speaking to my lovely brother over here being coach,
• 1:37
  Speaker 4: was the yeah, you can't be a dating cat because
• 1:39
  Speaker 4: you're a whore.
• 1:40
  Speaker 1: Not a horror. Let's let let's change that narrative. I'm
• 1:42
  Speaker 1: not a whole no more. I'm thirty five years old. Yeah,
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: you know, this week I was fucking with the right
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: one instead of fucking with the right one.
• 1:53
  Speaker 4: What okay, break it down, break it down.
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: She was the right one because she was in front
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: of me, so she was the right one. For me
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: to pursue to have fun with. I don't want the
• 2:03
  Speaker 1: right one one. I want that right one for me,
• 2:06
  Speaker 1: So I'm working on with just one.
• 2:08
  Speaker 4: Now. That shit didn't make no sense. See that's what men.
• 2:10
  Speaker 4: That's man explaining ladies and gentlemen.
• 2:12
  Speaker 2: He literally just.
• 2:15
  Speaker 4: Said some shit. If you were unintellectual, then you would
• 2:19
  Speaker 4: think he just fits some shiit.
• 2:20
  Speaker 3: He just the lines.
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: I don't want that right one that's in the say
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: my eyesight.
• 2:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah about say you can't en see niggas, So how
• 2:28
  Speaker 4: the fuck are you about to say that?
• 2:29
  Speaker 1: But that one for me that I'm like, Damn, I
• 2:30
  Speaker 1: can't you leave. I'm thinking about you that right one
• 2:33
  Speaker 1: you was?
• 2:33
  Speaker 4: That was no See the problem is you're Libra and
• 2:35
  Speaker 4: you're unbalanced. But we'll get into that another episode because
• 2:37
  Speaker 4: that's that's We could go all day with that. You're
• 2:39
  Speaker 4: very unbalanced.
• 2:41
  Speaker 2: One woman. I'm a one woman man.
• 2:44
  Speaker 4: Fuck, Okay, you're gonna ruin this whole episode because the
• 2:46
  Speaker 4: we're gonna divis you not but okay. So basically a
• 2:51
  Speaker 4: lot of people that were born with the disability are
• 2:54
  Speaker 4: more confident within dating because that's the only way they've
• 2:56
  Speaker 4: ever known. Most of us who developed the disability as
• 2:59
  Speaker 4: we age you got older, whether it be an injury,
• 3:01
  Speaker 4: whether something happened within your health and change it. A
• 3:05
  Speaker 4: lot of people lack the confidence to go back out
• 3:06
  Speaker 4: on a dating scene because they feel like, who's gonna
• 3:08
  Speaker 4: want them? You know what I'm saying. Did you ever
• 3:11
  Speaker 4: have those feelings when you first became blind?
• 3:13
  Speaker 2: Nope? I still was outside.
• 3:15
  Speaker 4: So how soon did you get back into having like
• 3:18
  Speaker 4: dating relations.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Well, I can't because I got shot. I came home
• 3:21
  Speaker 1: to a relationship.
• 3:22
  Speaker 4: Oh he was already in one though. No, so what
• 3:25
  Speaker 4: you mean you came home to a relationship.
• 3:27
  Speaker 2: I got shot.
• 3:28
  Speaker 1: I was on my bad coming off my deathbed to
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: you are the one for me. I want to spend
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: the rest of my life with you.
• 3:34
  Speaker 2: Like, and which young lady, was this the love of
• 3:37
  Speaker 2: my life?
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: Not the right one?
• 3:40
  Speaker 2: No, she's the right one for me. She's the right
• 3:43
  Speaker 2: one for me.
• 3:44
  Speaker 4: Not your baby mama. No, Oh that's terrible. How that's terrible?
• 3:48
  Speaker 4: Because how old was your son?
• 3:50
  Speaker 2: Was one?
• 3:51
  Speaker 4: Okay, so that's terrible.
• 3:52
  Speaker 2: How that's terrible.
• 3:53
  Speaker 4: How how did you come home in a relationship? You
• 3:57
  Speaker 4: would have got shot in the head again.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: Away it was It's like.
• 4:03
  Speaker 2: People it's allowed to separate.
• 4:07
  Speaker 4: Right, Nigga? That girl was fresh out of postpart and
• 4:10
  Speaker 4: that's a one year.
• 4:11
  Speaker 2: Old baby, wasn't?
• 4:14
  Speaker 4: Who was at the hospital?
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: Everybody?
• 4:17
  Speaker 4: How many people's? Everybody I'm talking about talking about young
• 4:20
  Speaker 4: talk about women?
• 4:20
  Speaker 3: Oh you had oo?
• 4:22
  Speaker 2: They call me super yo. No life was girl? That
• 4:24
  Speaker 2: that was never my girl? Sayn was my girl?
• 4:26
  Speaker 4: Okay, so you just was a male jigglow.
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: I was in the best years of my life. I
• 4:31
  Speaker 2: was outside.
• 4:32
  Speaker 4: How old were you?
• 4:33
  Speaker 2: Twenty one?
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: Oh?
• 4:34
  Speaker 4: Twenty one? Yeah, that explains that I'm in.
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: The best years of my life. Like I'm being a whole.
• 4:39
  Speaker 1: But then I got shot. It's like damn, Like they
• 4:42
  Speaker 1: knew I was blind before I knew I was blind,
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: so they could everybody starts.
• 4:46
  Speaker 4: Hey story, stop the alarm.
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: So that was your home? Yeah you talked about president. Yeah,
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: oh you gotta teach me that.
• 4:56
  Speaker 2: See, I ain't an advanced like that.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: I ain't advanced like that.
• 5:00
  Speaker 4: What I got you, bro? I thought, yes, Syrien would
• 5:02
  Speaker 4: have been immaculate. I didn't know.
• 5:04
  Speaker 3: I ain't know.
• 5:04
  Speaker 4: I your your sirih be finding out who she and
• 5:10
  Speaker 4: this ship?
• 5:10
  Speaker 3: I don't know. It was better we even do the
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: cheating too.
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: But where everybody started like fading away, but curse she
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: she rocked out.
• 5:19
  Speaker 4: She stayed with the right one.
• 5:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the right one for me. No, you got to
• 5:22
  Speaker 2: take the right one for me. It's the right one
• 5:24
  Speaker 2: for you. Yeah, okay, she and I know it was real.
• 5:27
  Speaker 1: When she washed my ass when I was in the
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: I said, nah, she's the one for me.
• 5:30
  Speaker 4: She watched when I was in the hospital, and.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: I was in the hospital, I washed my ass.
• 5:34
  Speaker 4: But that's kind of fun up because you can still
• 5:35
  Speaker 4: watch your glass.
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: I was fucked up.
• 5:37
  Speaker 4: How you couldn't watch your ass.
• 5:38
  Speaker 2: I was weak. I couldn't move my right on my
• 5:40
  Speaker 2: right one was dad barely walk and everything.
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: A little parent. I lost a lot of you couldn't see.
• 5:45
  Speaker 2: I wasn't like you.
• 5:47
  Speaker 3: I wasn't like you. I still cold. Butterfly wasn't thank you.
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Like this ship, Claire, you know he always going to
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: do it. I'm still doing the hillte I would.
• 5:57
  Speaker 4: I was watching my ass in the hospital, so I.
• 5:59
  Speaker 3: Can't really try to put that disability on me.
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: Baby.
• 6:03
  Speaker 2: I mean, she was washing me up, she was feeding me,
• 6:06
  Speaker 2: she was doing it all.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: She was the right one for me. It just when
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: I came home. I still wasn't over that past life.
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: I still wanted to be in a mix. I still
• 6:16
  Speaker 1: wanted different women. I still want to live life running
• 6:18
  Speaker 1: streets when I was wasting her time.
• 6:22
  Speaker 4: So you knew you were wasting her time, even as
• 6:24
  Speaker 4: a blind man. It's a possible. It's possible to be
• 6:26
  Speaker 4: a piece of shit. Guys.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: No, no, no, no, no, it's not. It's not like that.
• 6:30
  Speaker 4: It's like, no, that's exactly what it's like. It's like,
• 6:33
  Speaker 4: she's my piece, she's but were you her piece?
• 6:36
  Speaker 2: Yes?
• 6:37
  Speaker 1: I was, but I wasn't living up to the standards
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: I was supposed to. And in the sense of like,
• 6:43
  Speaker 1: oh my god.
• 6:44
  Speaker 4: Oh god, no, because I really want you to hear
• 6:46
  Speaker 4: yourself because.
• 6:47
  Speaker 2: I understand that I know what I'm saying. It sound crazy.
• 6:50
  Speaker 2: I had the one.
• 6:51
  Speaker 4: I want you to hear yourself, because how can one
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: be some How can she be your piece and you
• 6:58
  Speaker 4: not be hers? But she's the right one because.
• 7:01
  Speaker 2: I was running essential her piece.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: I was running away from the bigger like I run
• 7:05
  Speaker 1: away from problems.
• 7:07
  Speaker 4: You feel like your trauma's got in the way of that.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah, because like she she was the one for me.
• 7:12
  Speaker 1: She was perfect everything I needed. She was there for me.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: I never felt alone when she was around. Even when
• 7:18
  Speaker 1: she wasn't there, I didn't feel alone because she always
• 7:20
  Speaker 1: made her presence known to me. But I just couldn't
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: get over the fact that, damn, my life is changed.
• 7:26
  Speaker 1: So I was running in the streets trying to fuck
• 7:28
  Speaker 1: with different girls to try to see if I'm still seeing.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Oh, so you was trying to figure yourself out.
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's what it was. I was an adult and
• 7:36
  Speaker 1: couldn't handle the dog. So it's like I felt if.
• 7:38
  Speaker 4: I'm joking to somebody else in there with you.
• 7:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you feel me like she like I was trying
• 7:43
  Speaker 2: to come out.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: She was trying to pull herself in, so she was
• 7:46
  Speaker 1: trying to understand what I was going through when.
• 7:48
  Speaker 2: It's like, it's no understanding, understand no understanding that you
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: feel me? Yeah? Sorry.
• 7:53
  Speaker 5: There are white people in the other room that are
• 7:55
  Speaker 5: complaining about our magnetic black energy. So if y'all can
• 7:59
  Speaker 5: just keep your black happiness to a to a low volume. No,
• 8:05
  Speaker 5: if you can't keep your black happiness to a low
• 8:06
  Speaker 5: volume because the white people on the other side of
• 8:08
  Speaker 5: the room, apparently I don't know. Sorry, Sorry, I even
• 8:12
  Speaker 5: got to say that. But that's just that's that's what
• 8:14
  Speaker 5: I heard.
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: From the token nigga came and talked to me and
• 8:17
  Speaker 2: let okay, master, how.
• 8:19
  Speaker 4: Do we even do the episode without our black happiness?
• 8:24
  Speaker 4: What would they like us to do?
• 8:25
  Speaker 5: They like to keep it. I guess it's coming coming.
• 8:29
  Speaker 5: Maybe bring the volume down, the volume.
• 8:31
  Speaker 2: So the value. Pump up the value already.
• 8:34
  Speaker 4: Okay, so now we're doing as Mr. Yeah, you know
• 8:37
  Speaker 4: we need that other black nigga that was here last
• 8:40
  Speaker 4: really humble those people the fun. We all paying the
• 8:43
  Speaker 4: same way, all right, peace out? Hello, we chilling. I'm
• 8:47
  Speaker 4: not the black motherfucker.
• 8:48
  Speaker 3: I'm not.
• 8:49
  Speaker 4: I'm not the one to do this. Yeah, so you know,
• 8:52
  Speaker 4: saying again, sorry, we just fucked up.
• 8:56
  Speaker 3: We're gonna get back.
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: But yeah, so it was, Yeah, she was trying to
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: come to the dog, trying to understand me.
• 9:03
  Speaker 2: I went, I didn't want her in the dock. So
• 9:05
  Speaker 2: what I was doing, I.
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: Was still running the streets, trying to be seen, No,
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: dealing with different girls and all that. And I'm gonna
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: be honest, dealing with the different girls that not make
• 9:12
  Speaker 1: me happy. I was at the end of the day,
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: I'm still in the dark. I'm still blind, I'm still
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: fucked up. But at the end of the night, who's
• 9:19
  Speaker 1: there rubbing my back, who's there holding me?
• 9:22
  Speaker 2: It was hard?
• 9:23
  Speaker 1: So therefore it's like I fucked her over for not
• 9:28
  Speaker 1: even pleasure to myself, just to try to prove I'm somebody.
• 9:32
  Speaker 4: Because you wanted to still feel like your old stop
• 9:35
  Speaker 4: wanted to feel like I was still seeing them, not
• 9:36
  Speaker 4: realizing that it's it's a rebirth, you're a new person.
• 9:39
  Speaker 1: I felt like because when I lost my sight, I
• 9:41
  Speaker 1: felt like I lost everything. So my biggest thing is
• 9:44
  Speaker 1: I got it. My name got it, stayed in my name, Like, yeah,
• 9:47
  Speaker 1: so who will seeing the cars, the clothes, the females moving,
• 9:53
  Speaker 1: So it's like I can't drive, I got somebody else
• 9:55
  Speaker 1: dressing me. The one thing I can't lose is me
• 9:58
  Speaker 1: being a ladies man.
• 9:59
  Speaker 4: Is like, so you did that more for an image
• 10:02
  Speaker 4: rather than just.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: To try to I felt that's who I was, when
• 10:06
  Speaker 1: really that shit don't mean nothing to me. The clothes
• 10:08
  Speaker 1: don't mean nothing to me. The thousand dollar pans and
• 10:10
  Speaker 1: all that shit don't mean nothing to me no more.
• 10:12
  Speaker 1: The car don't mean none to me. I'll take a
• 10:14
  Speaker 1: sets her ride. You don't mean that to me no more.
• 10:16
  Speaker 1: I lost who I was when I got shot. The
• 10:18
  Speaker 1: whole time when she was reminded me like you bigger
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: than everything you feel.
• 10:23
  Speaker 2: You missing, and I lost stuff.
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: She fought with me for two years to try to
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: like stick around, like, let me see if he gonna
• 10:29
  Speaker 1: phase out of this.
• 10:30
  Speaker 2: I didn't, so she couldn't do it no more. So
• 10:32
  Speaker 2: she did.
• 10:33
  Speaker 4: So this is the right one for you.
• 10:34
  Speaker 2: She the right one for me. I'm still fighting.
• 10:36
  Speaker 4: Okay.
• 10:36
  Speaker 2: So thirteen years later, a lot of.
• 10:40
  Speaker 4: People, like you just said, struggle with an identity crisis.
• 10:45
  Speaker 4: And when you're having an identity crisis, it's not safe
• 10:47
  Speaker 4: to date anyone because you don't even know yourself. So
• 10:50
  Speaker 4: how do you know who you like? How do you
• 10:52
  Speaker 4: know what you're gonna like? How do you know? You
• 10:54
  Speaker 4: don't know anything. If you don't know yourself, you don't
• 10:56
  Speaker 4: know shit, you know what I'm saying. So a lot
• 10:58
  Speaker 4: of people, whether you're even if you're a lot of
• 11:01
  Speaker 4: able body people don't know who the fuck they are,
• 11:02
  Speaker 4: so then it hinders their relationship because now you're getting
• 11:06
  Speaker 4: with someone based on who you are on that day,
• 11:08
  Speaker 4: not even knowing that's not who you're going to be tomorrow,
• 11:10
  Speaker 4: maybe not even next week, or you know what I'm saying, that's.
• 11:12
  Speaker 2: Not who you are.
• 11:14
  Speaker 4: So aren't able to date, whether you have a disability
• 11:16
  Speaker 4: or whether you don't. And a lot of people don't,
• 11:18
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. So it's like that's why
• 11:21
  Speaker 4: a lot of relationships fail, period.
• 11:23
  Speaker 2: And disability to it. You gotta love yourself.
• 11:25
  Speaker 1: You can't look for you can't look for someone to
• 11:27
  Speaker 1: love you, to show you what love is.
• 11:29
  Speaker 4: You gotta love yourself exactly with the disability. And a
• 11:32
  Speaker 4: lot of people don't love themselves with their disability. A
• 11:34
  Speaker 4: lot of people live in the past. A lot of
• 11:36
  Speaker 4: people don't even take pictures of themselves when they're disabled
• 11:40
  Speaker 4: because they don't want to see themselves. They can't see
• 11:41
  Speaker 4: themselves like that. They don't want people to see themselves
• 11:43
  Speaker 4: like that. A lot of people wither away, lock themselves
• 11:47
  Speaker 4: in the house, get high, get drunk, od on pills,
• 11:50
  Speaker 4: take up, you know, just stay inside and get fat, big, skinny.
• 11:53
  Speaker 2: Whatever they do.
• 11:54
  Speaker 4: It's like it's a it's a word that people use,
• 11:57
  Speaker 4: but it's like suicide, you know what I mean. But
• 12:00
  Speaker 4: it's like you're not directly killing yourself. But you're trying slowly,
• 12:04
  Speaker 4: You're you're okay with you going. You're slowly killing yourself
• 12:07
  Speaker 4: just because you no longer want to be here anymore,
• 12:09
  Speaker 4: because you're not okay with who you have become in
• 12:12
  Speaker 4: this moment.
• 12:12
  Speaker 1: I used to walk around with hoodies on because I
• 12:14
  Speaker 1: didn't want people look at me. That's craz It could
• 12:17
  Speaker 1: be hot as hell. I got a hoodie on and
• 12:18
  Speaker 1: they're like, what's wrong? Like people think I'm scared of
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: what happened. I'm not scared like you just thought.
• 12:23
  Speaker 2: I just don't. I feel like the world just looking
• 12:25
  Speaker 2: at me.
• 12:25
  Speaker 4: So it's like to me, because you can see, you
• 12:28
  Speaker 4: feel like everybody's.
• 12:29
  Speaker 1: Everybody's staring at me. And then when I learned I
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: had to learn how to walk with the stick. That
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: was the hardest.
• 12:34
  Speaker 4: Well you just thought of using that damn stick.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: No, I just started, but I learned it when I
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: first went blind. Yeah, but when I was walking with
• 12:43
  Speaker 1: the lady, like she teaches me how to do it
• 12:45
  Speaker 1: and I'm just walking and it's like everything just went
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: darne for me even more. I'm walking past, I'm putting
• 12:51
  Speaker 1: my hoodie on. She said, why you got your head down? Oh,
• 12:53
  Speaker 1: I don't want people to look at me. So why
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: did you feel people looking at you make you more disable?
• 12:59
  Speaker 1: And then I looked I threw the stick. I said
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: this over said wait, how are you gonna get back
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: to the house. I felt on the game walk all
• 13:04
  Speaker 1: the way back to the house until I got to
• 13:06
  Speaker 1: my building. When the shay, yo, if you could do that,
• 13:08
  Speaker 1: you could use this stick.
• 13:09
  Speaker 2: I'm like, nah, I can't.
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: People walking like damn, it ain't the same love that
• 13:14
  Speaker 1: I once got one when I couldn't see. What I
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: could see now when they see me with the stick
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: is like they patted me on my back like the
• 13:21
  Speaker 1: old people give you them packs on the back.
• 13:23
  Speaker 2: They patted me on my back like you're doing a
• 13:25
  Speaker 2: good job.
• 13:26
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 13:26
  Speaker 2: Nah, this ain't my life.
• 13:27
  Speaker 4: Man.
• 13:27
  Speaker 2: I'm like, I'm turning back around.
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: But now they're like, yo, that's why I came up
• 13:31
  Speaker 1: with the They're like, where your stick at?
• 13:32
  Speaker 2: It on? Match with my clothes? Nah? I said that
• 13:35
  Speaker 2: because I was hiring from it.
• 13:37
  Speaker 4: So the first point would be because I'm running point right,
• 13:40
  Speaker 4: you run the point, but take this into then go
• 13:43
  Speaker 4: to pivot your ass back. The first point were obviously
• 13:46
  Speaker 4: first accepting yourself accepting who you are now. So if
• 13:49
  Speaker 4: you haven't gotten to that point yet, it makes no
• 13:51
  Speaker 4: sense to date because then people are going to see that,
• 13:53
  Speaker 4: and a lot of people, anybody that's there for the
• 13:55
  Speaker 4: real reason, the right reason, they're going to get turned
• 13:57
  Speaker 4: off by that, and they're not going to want to stay.
• 13:59
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm say, They're gonna say, like, who
• 14:01
  Speaker 4: is this?
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: Sorry?
• 14:02
  Speaker 4: Motherfucker. You're gonna make people discike it because it's gonna
• 14:05
  Speaker 4: be those anger moments. It's gonna be those why me moments.
• 14:08
  Speaker 4: It's gonna be those self pity moments, and not everybody
• 14:11
  Speaker 4: feels sorry for you. No, I didn't feel those moments
• 14:16
  Speaker 4: because I was just so convinced on getting back into
• 14:19
  Speaker 4: my regular life that I never took the time to
• 14:21
  Speaker 4: really fully sit there and heal. I started doing healing
• 14:24
  Speaker 4: in my older age, you know what I mean, Like
• 14:26
  Speaker 4: after I became a mom, I feel like I started
• 14:29
  Speaker 4: healing because I'm now in charge of someone else's life.
• 14:31
  Speaker 4: And that was seven years and I started after. But
• 14:36
  Speaker 4: your your son was already born prior to you being blind,
• 14:40
  Speaker 4: So it's like you got to even if it was
• 14:42
  Speaker 4: for a brief moment, you got to experience him. You
• 14:45
  Speaker 4: know what I'm saying with your site, I've never got
• 14:47
  Speaker 4: to experience my son with my legs. Well I have
• 14:51
  Speaker 4: with my mobility. You know, No, that's here.
• 14:55
  Speaker 3: This cheer is just the But I get it.
• 14:57
  Speaker 2: But it's like.
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: I got taken out prime time of my son. So
• 15:02
  Speaker 1: it's like we just started going to the park, pushing
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: on the swings. He wanted to go down slides and
• 15:07
  Speaker 1: all that. So admit of that at my sight, But.
• 15:10
  Speaker 4: Imagine never having that opportunity, imagine never having that seat.
• 15:15
  Speaker 4: It's a difference because even if I got that, even
• 15:18
  Speaker 4: if I got a couple of months to work with
• 15:19
  Speaker 4: my son, you know what I'm saying, that'll be that's
• 15:21
  Speaker 4: different than never happened.
• 15:22
  Speaker 2: It still won't make it happy.
• 15:24
  Speaker 1: Yeah, my son, my son fifteen, my son fourteen years old,
• 15:28
  Speaker 1: Dahn fourteen, fifteen years old.
• 15:30
  Speaker 4: Fourteen years You can't count my son fourteen.
• 15:33
  Speaker 2: Years old and say he was one when you guys
• 15:37
  Speaker 2: fourteen fourteen, My so fourteen years old.
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: I'm still as still didn't heal from it, Still don't
• 15:42
  Speaker 1: heal from it.
• 15:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so much, I see my son.
• 15:44
  Speaker 4: I guess that's that's and that's the difference because we
• 15:47
  Speaker 4: always look at it like, okay, So for I remember
• 15:53
  Speaker 4: Smart he said something on a podcast and he was like,
• 15:56
  Speaker 4: to the motherfucker that's blonde. You get what I'm saying.
• 15:59
  Speaker 4: He says something about paralyzed. You know what I'm saying.
• 16:01
  Speaker 4: They just would shake a walk and pray, so they
• 16:03
  Speaker 4: never go to hell like focus, you know what I mean,
• 16:04
  Speaker 4: So you don't focus on and stuff like that. And
• 16:06
  Speaker 4: it's like, whereas I'm sitting here like I never got
• 16:09
  Speaker 4: to walk with my son, you're saying you never got
• 16:10
  Speaker 4: to see your son. And those are two incomparable things
• 16:12
  Speaker 4: because both of them are tragedies, you know what I mean,
• 16:15
  Speaker 4: And nobody would want to take one of the other,
• 16:17
  Speaker 4: you know. So I can't sit there and say, like,
• 16:20
  Speaker 4: you know, you're you're right, your your feelings are valid.
• 16:23
  Speaker 4: They honestly are valid. But it's important to I don't know.
• 16:27
  Speaker 4: He's old as hell and he's been injured for very
• 16:29
  Speaker 4: very many years.
• 16:30
  Speaker 2: So you've been longer than me. Let's get yet.
• 16:33
  Speaker 4: But I've been just one year before. Yeah, you know
• 16:37
  Speaker 4: you got injured in twenty twelve or twelve, Yeah, so
• 16:40
  Speaker 4: mine's twenty eleven. Shut the fudge, up.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: But you're old.
• 16:44
  Speaker 4: I'm not even I'm not even thirty yet.
• 16:48
  Speaker 1: Old word the wine get old, don't age, well, right,
• 16:52
  Speaker 1: that just works right, I'm wine, baby, Oh my god,
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: I'm wine. You can't find me in a liquor store.
• 16:57
  Speaker 3: Baby.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: You would rink don Julio.
• 17:01
  Speaker 4: You drink down Julio and Triple.
• 17:05
  Speaker 2: Taylor. Technically is that of my system? I ain't doing
• 17:07
  Speaker 2: it no more.
• 17:08
  Speaker 4: You ain't doing what you're about to go to Houston.
• 17:12
  Speaker 2: Don't tell my business?
• 17:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah business, yeah, okay, sorry, I guess, but I drink water.
• 17:20
  Speaker 4: He drinks water, he eats fruits, and he works out.
• 17:23
  Speaker 4: But either way, a lot of people. Then there's the
• 17:27
  Speaker 4: people that get with people and they know these people
• 17:30
  Speaker 4: don't want them, you know what I'm saying, Like the
• 17:32
  Speaker 4: disabled people that know people are using them like they're
• 17:34
  Speaker 4: giving them money and did it.
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: I'm sorry.
• 17:36
  Speaker 4: I don't run deep enough to be tricked on.
• 17:38
  Speaker 1: Nobody just for company. People just want I can't. I
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: can't have brothers and sisters and family that gave me
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: the company.
• 17:44
  Speaker 4: I can't do it and even its.
• 17:49
  Speaker 2: People it right, because I ain't lie.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: Some like it's days that when she left me at night,
• 17:55
  Speaker 1: I was lonely, and that room no life, felt like
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: that room was closing into me. And that's when I realized, like, damn,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: how valuable and how much I appreciated being that she's
• 18:05
  Speaker 1: going Now to a point, you'll call anybody over just
• 18:07
  Speaker 1: to satisfy that needs when you.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Really don't want to be next to that person. You
• 18:10
  Speaker 2: don't want to hold this person, so don't.
• 18:12
  Speaker 4: That's the part of healing, because I'd rather be alone
• 18:14
  Speaker 4: and loving myself than with someone that doesn't love me.
• 18:17
  Speaker 4: And a lot of people with disabilities, a lot of
• 18:19
  Speaker 4: people with disabilities choose to be with someone that doesn't
• 18:22
  Speaker 4: love them just so they don't have to fill along,
• 18:24
  Speaker 4: just so they could feel normal again. It's nothing normal
• 18:26
  Speaker 4: about being with someone who doesn't love you, who uses you.
• 18:28
  Speaker 4: If that's the case, just be a trick and have
• 18:30
  Speaker 4: a different person to get better every night rather than
• 18:32
  Speaker 4: the same old, boring shit. You're gonna get tired of
• 18:34
  Speaker 4: it the fuck. I'd rather pay for a different meal
• 18:36
  Speaker 4: every day than that pay and have.
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: The same every night.
• 18:39
  Speaker 2: It's definitely not worth it because do what y'all do.
• 18:41
  Speaker 2: Have fun.
• 18:42
  Speaker 4: But and then that person is outside, whether it be
• 18:44
  Speaker 4: a female or meal they outside doing Dixon pussies, some
• 18:47
  Speaker 4: of them doing both, and then they coming home back
• 18:49
  Speaker 4: to you laying up, giving you that energy, putting up
• 18:52
  Speaker 4: in diseases, and then you just in it crying. I
• 18:54
  Speaker 4: had a friend and he was being abused in his
• 18:57
  Speaker 4: own home because he's disabled, you know what I'm saying.
• 19:00
  Speaker 4: He was being abusing his own home by female, by
• 19:02
  Speaker 4: his woman. By the female, not necessarily like she was
• 19:05
  Speaker 4: eating on him, but it's disabled abuse when you're taking advantage,
• 19:08
  Speaker 4: when you're moving people in. She had the man that
• 19:12
  Speaker 4: she got pregnant by coming to the house to get
• 19:14
  Speaker 4: his stuff, you know what I mean, all types of stuff.
• 19:16
  Speaker 4: He was threatening him, all types of things just because
• 19:18
  Speaker 4: he chose to pay. Yeah, he's in a wheelchair. He
• 19:21
  Speaker 4: chose to pay the play, and you know that this
• 19:23
  Speaker 4: person doesn't love you, and then you start developing all
• 19:25
  Speaker 4: these feelings and then after a while to start, you're
• 19:27
  Speaker 4: willing to give everything, everything, everythinguntil it's nothing left of yourself.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I ain't playing to play, I ain't gonna lote
• 19:32
  Speaker 2: social Security.
• 19:33
  Speaker 4: Can't said that is not enough. I don't know why
• 19:36
  Speaker 4: y'all be doing it.
• 19:37
  Speaker 2: For real, Like I just took a good one, it's
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: not enough.
• 19:40
  Speaker 4: And then on top of that, so say, if you're
• 19:42
  Speaker 4: not giving them any money, but maybe you're giving them shelter,
• 19:44
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying, or maybe you're giving them
• 19:47
  Speaker 4: the feeling of just a lot of people date people
• 19:49
  Speaker 4: with disabilities to feel better about themselves because.
• 19:51
  Speaker 2: They like they've done something in the world, because they.
• 19:53
  Speaker 4: Feel like they're the prize in that relationship.
• 19:55
  Speaker 1: I had somebody like that when you were dating or not.
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: After she left me, I started people on it. It
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: felt like I was like a charity case.
• 20:03
  Speaker 2: Like were walking around.
• 20:04
  Speaker 1: It's like you flaunt me like a trophy, like you
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: looking out, don't leave him, staying by him, this, that,
• 20:09
  Speaker 1: and the third. And I'm looking like, I don't know
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: what you're telling these people, but you can't really do
• 20:13
  Speaker 1: ship for me, like like.
• 20:16
  Speaker 2: Oh, you're making it seem like you dressed me and.
• 20:18
  Speaker 4: Do all this like yeah, and I'm like yo, like
• 20:22
  Speaker 4: I'm you're not my seeing that dog like let's make it.
• 20:26
  Speaker 1: I'm standing next to you, not standing behind you. That's
• 20:29
  Speaker 1: really like we're not doing that. And again by standing
• 20:34
  Speaker 1: behind you, I'm standing next to you. And she got
• 20:36
  Speaker 1: off on that, but she felt like she was doing
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: something for me. I jumping that out of cause myself.
• 20:41
  Speaker 1: I'm not so what you what you were really telling
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: these people because you you're not.
• 20:45
  Speaker 2: Relationship making like she's doing it.
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: Oh no, even you putting a video like you playing
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: ketchup on my my frids, Like come on, it's like
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: a charity case style.
• 20:58
  Speaker 2: You're doing it for the views.
• 20:59
  Speaker 1: You're doing it for the light in the I'm not
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: doing it, don't. It's it's some people know cap I
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: don't speak to the whole gear. But when I got shot,
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: he put up that long post. I remember I talked
• 21:09
  Speaker 1: to you on the phone. Then they put up their
• 21:11
  Speaker 1: screenshots and all that of text messages. Yo, let's put
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: up the rail messages that I didn't speak to you
• 21:17
  Speaker 1: and gard news winning. So why what you're doing You're
• 21:20
  Speaker 1: doing it for the views, You're doing it for the lights.
• 21:21
  Speaker 1: My birthday, come y'all couldn't after what works, everybody wants
• 21:25
  Speaker 1: to be there with every.
• 21:26
  Speaker 2: Everybody want to put it.
• 21:27
  Speaker 1: It's people in the club like I'm vibing, I'm dancing,
• 21:30
  Speaker 1: you putting your arms around me to get a selfie.
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: It ain't that time for that.
• 21:34
  Speaker 2: Why because after my birthday. Aint gonna see you again
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: to the next year. I don't want that. And it's females,
• 21:39
  Speaker 2: it's like, nah, you just show you we're not doing that.
• 21:42
  Speaker 2: Why you acting boojit like y'all just don't want no picture.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: It's over. You're gonna put this picture up in front
• 21:47
  Speaker 2: for who?
• 21:47
  Speaker 4: For what?
• 21:48
  Speaker 2: Not not mean, I ain't no charity case.
• 21:49
  Speaker 4: So he just said a whole another reason people are
• 21:51
  Speaker 4: doing it for a child, for the cloud, for the cloud. Yeah,
• 21:54
  Speaker 4: because you can get a lot of views and likes,
• 21:56
  Speaker 4: and you get other people. It's the same way when
• 21:57
  Speaker 4: you take it when a dad takes a baby outside
• 21:59
  Speaker 4: and the women want them, you know what I mean.
• 22:01
  Speaker 4: Now she got there. Now they see, oh he's a
• 22:03
  Speaker 4: good man. But now if they see this woman, Oh
• 22:07
  Speaker 4: she's with this disabled gun and she's taking care of him.
• 22:09
  Speaker 4: Or they see this man with this disabled woman, he's
• 22:11
  Speaker 4: taking care of her. Oh he's a good man. Oh
• 22:12
  Speaker 4: she must be a good woman. Not knowing that they're
• 22:14
  Speaker 4: just doing it for their own incentives.
• 22:16
  Speaker 2: That's all it is. That's all it be.
• 22:17
  Speaker 3: For see.
• 22:18
  Speaker 4: I've I can't say I've experienced that. I've had probably
• 22:24
  Speaker 4: one ex maybe where I can say that his name is.
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: You know, I'm not gonna do that.
• 22:28
  Speaker 4: I would do it, but I don't want to give
• 22:31
  Speaker 4: anybody no atention because I really don't feel no way.
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: I don't nobody.
• 22:34
  Speaker 4: I don't feel no type of way towards none of
• 22:35
  Speaker 4: my exes. But when I first got injured, it was
• 22:38
  Speaker 4: this boy because I'm popular, you know what I mean.
• 22:40
  Speaker 4: Where I'm from Queens, everybody knows same way. Everybody know
• 22:43
  Speaker 4: who he is in Brooklyn, I'm saying, but everybody know
• 22:46
  Speaker 4: who I am where I'm at, and I had this boy.
• 22:48
  Speaker 4: It was a bunch of people in my DMS when
• 22:50
  Speaker 4: I got injured. First of all, I had two boyfriends.
• 22:52
  Speaker 4: When I got shot. My dad played defense for me
• 22:55
  Speaker 4: because they was trying to come into the hospital at
• 22:57
  Speaker 4: the same time. But you know, I finished, I finised
• 22:59
  Speaker 4: their real and I let go a good one. God,
• 23:02
  Speaker 4: why you know, I'm playing because I'm in love now.
• 23:05
  Speaker 4: But at the time, just going through all the extra
• 23:07
  Speaker 4: stress with that other person was just too much. But
• 23:09
  Speaker 4: so I came home, and I came home to a
• 23:11
  Speaker 4: relationship because I met this boy online and we were
• 23:14
  Speaker 4: just talking, talking, talking, and he was actually pretty cool.
• 23:18
  Speaker 4: But then as I look at it, I'm like, what's
• 23:20
  Speaker 4: he with me for? Cloud? I mean, it wasn't no
• 23:21
  Speaker 4: money or nothing, you know what I mean, but just
• 23:24
  Speaker 4: to like be posted and just to say I'm his
• 23:27
  Speaker 4: ex and stuff like that because he's still to this day,
• 23:30
  Speaker 4: oh oh we used to do do not claim me.
• 23:34
  Speaker 4: I'm lying to none of that. And all the other
• 23:36
  Speaker 4: exes I will say they were there for just you know,
• 23:39
  Speaker 4: same way you get with somebody is just a regular relationship.
• 23:43
  Speaker 4: So I can't really say I've been in those type
• 23:45
  Speaker 4: of predicaments because I won't allow myself to because I
• 23:47
  Speaker 4: don't even play with niggas like that. Like before the chair,
• 23:50
  Speaker 4: I was a demon. So it's like I'm glad that
• 23:52
  Speaker 4: I turned into an angel right now, but it's like
• 23:53
  Speaker 4: I'm still a gem and I could really just a demonship. No, no, no,
• 23:59
  Speaker 4: see that's the thing. No, that's the thing. When I
• 24:03
  Speaker 4: went through something, I was in an on and off
• 24:05
  Speaker 4: again relationship with someone for six years, you know what
• 24:08
  Speaker 4: I'm saying. So being on and off with someone for
• 24:10
  Speaker 4: that many years it does something to you. And then
• 24:13
  Speaker 4: on top of that, I've never had a child or
• 24:15
  Speaker 4: anyone before, so that made it harder because it's like
• 24:18
  Speaker 4: my emotions were more invested because I've never wanted I
• 24:20
  Speaker 4: don't come from a broken home. My parents were married,
• 24:22
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Like I don't have siblings,
• 24:24
  Speaker 4: well they're out of well luck. But it's like my
• 24:26
  Speaker 4: father got remarried, my mother got remarried, you know what
• 24:28
  Speaker 4: I mean. So it's like my siblings are like me
• 24:31
  Speaker 4: and my brother. We have the same mother and father marriage,
• 24:33
  Speaker 4: you know what I'm saying. Then the rest of my
• 24:35
  Speaker 4: siblings mom father married.
• 24:37
  Speaker 2: So you stuck around the bullshit just to follow that.
• 24:39
  Speaker 4: I just didn't want to broken home for my child,
• 24:42
  Speaker 4: not realizing that I was breaking myself, saying, so I
• 24:45
  Speaker 4: broke myself trying to create a healthy home and not
• 24:49
  Speaker 4: realizing my child didn't even want it.
• 24:50
  Speaker 2: Sometimes they'd be bad for the child.
• 24:52
  Speaker 4: To my child didn't even want it. He doesn't care
• 24:54
  Speaker 4: at all. He wants to see me happy.
• 24:56
  Speaker 2: And I know I gotta give your credit for that too.
• 24:58
  Speaker 2: But you want hell of the ship you do?
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: No, Lie, I said, I see a lot of women
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: out here and how they move their kids and this
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: that I'm about to say.
• 25:08
  Speaker 2: This they need to be disabled.
• 25:10
  Speaker 1: No Lie, that the way I disabledness works with me
• 25:14
  Speaker 1: and my son and you and your son. It's like
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: I see people when I'm like, yo, nigga, I leave
• 25:18
  Speaker 1: out and I think about my son when I'm in.
• 25:20
  Speaker 2: A club talking to these females.
• 25:21
  Speaker 3: Literally, that's who.
• 25:22
  Speaker 4: Want to I'm rushing to here from just dropping him
• 25:25
  Speaker 4: from school. When I get out of here, I got
• 25:27
  Speaker 4: to go to a meeting for his school too.
• 25:29
  Speaker 2: So it's just like it's in and out when it comes.
• 25:31
  Speaker 4: Because I've always wanted to be a mom, you know,
• 25:34
  Speaker 4: So I say that on every podcast I get the chance,
• 25:36
  Speaker 4: and we're gonna have our kids watch that. But I've
• 25:39
  Speaker 4: always wanted to be a mom, So I don't take
• 25:41
  Speaker 4: it for granted. But just to get back on I
• 25:43
  Speaker 4: appreciate the compliment, but just to get back on tasks.
• 25:46
  Speaker 4: It's just you know, when you get and that just
• 25:49
  Speaker 4: shows like people will look at it like, oh, this
• 25:51
  Speaker 4: happened because of my disability. No, that happened because I
• 25:53
  Speaker 4: allowed it, you know what I'm saying. So stop blaming
• 25:55
  Speaker 4: your disability and stop start saying what you allowed. I
• 25:58
  Speaker 4: know this guy, he has no legs, no arms, he's
• 26:00
  Speaker 4: limbed different, and he's married to a rich man doing makeup.
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: He's going viral.
• 26:06
  Speaker 4: I'm telling you, I don't know his name. Yeah, he's
• 26:09
  Speaker 4: whatever his sexualize, yeah I believe. So I don't know
• 26:11
  Speaker 4: if he's a day then, but I know he's amazing
• 26:13
  Speaker 4: and he's happy, and he doesn't allow him. You know
• 26:15
  Speaker 4: what I'm saying. Imagine someone with no limbs, no arms,
• 26:18
  Speaker 4: no legs, you know what I'm saying, still found still
• 26:21
  Speaker 4: find love. People sit there, they target him and everything,
• 26:23
  Speaker 4: but his husband still does still loves him and stays
• 26:26
  Speaker 4: standing by each other. You know what I'm saying. So
• 26:27
  Speaker 4: it's really up to you. There's people that can't feel
• 26:30
  Speaker 4: below their neck that's still find love. You know what
• 26:32
  Speaker 4: I'm saying. It's people that are deaf. Two deaf people
• 26:34
  Speaker 4: be in relationships, still in love, you know what I'm saying.
• 26:36
  Speaker 4: Two people in wheelchairs still in love. Two blonde people
• 26:38
  Speaker 4: still in love, you know what I'm saying.
• 26:40
  Speaker 3: So it's really just your choice.
• 26:41
  Speaker 4: And then there's people that are able body, fully capable,
• 26:43
  Speaker 4: no disabilities, no hearing and pairing, no visual appearance, nothing,
• 26:47
  Speaker 4: and they still don't have a relationship or still unhappy.
• 26:50
  Speaker 4: They and they're just unhappy and they're just saying, so
• 26:52
  Speaker 4: stop blaming your disability and start blaming yourself. Starts saying,
• 26:55
  Speaker 4: why am I allowing myself to wallow him self pity
• 26:57
  Speaker 4: so that no one loves me? Why am I allowing
• 26:59
  Speaker 4: myself to be used by someone that doesn't love me?
• 27:02
  Speaker 2: Why am I allowing.
• 27:03
  Speaker 4: Myself to be used as a charity case just to
• 27:05
  Speaker 4: prove that someone loves me? You know what I'm saying.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: And if you find love too, don't fuck it over
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: just to be in alert with the rest of the
• 27:12
  Speaker 1: miserable people like that ship is.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: Not worth it.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: You hurting people just just to be happy that you
• 27:19
  Speaker 1: keeping an image that ship is conny. I hurt the
• 27:21
  Speaker 1: woman in my life and I regret that shit every time, like.
• 27:24
  Speaker 3: Even And this is why you were blind? Yeah, and
• 27:27
  Speaker 3: you cheated right about because this is big. This is big.
• 27:31
  Speaker 4: This is what I wanted to get a woman on
• 27:32
  Speaker 4: his face because you seated because you could be blind
• 27:36
  Speaker 4: and still but it's a ship.
• 27:39
  Speaker 1: This with me and Hu, me and her was rocking
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: with each other. I never physically stuck my ship and
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: nobody it's the fact of the thrill of talking to
• 27:47
  Speaker 1: the female that's cheating.
• 27:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it is talking to.
• 27:50
  Speaker 4: Someone is cheating, established that shirting when someone is cheating,
• 27:53
  Speaker 4: you needed to talk to someone.
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: To establish that.
• 27:55
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I said, man, we'll established that.
• 27:57
  Speaker 4: But you have when you was talking to these women,
• 27:59
  Speaker 4: did you have intentions of fu?
• 28:02
  Speaker 1: Oh, it's just to me to feel like I'm still
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: seeing it wasn't like she she satisfied me every way possible.
• 28:09
  Speaker 4: But I just you self sabotaged you self sabotage for now.
• 28:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I self sabotaged myself image.
• 28:14
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: And then when she left and I realized it wasn't
• 28:17
  Speaker 1: worth it, because like, what the fuck is these women doing?
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: She wasn't one of the name Tani shout out to
• 28:22
  Speaker 1: tany we need you back. I'm working every day the
• 28:26
  Speaker 1: right one. She's the right one for me.
• 28:29
  Speaker 2: You know what it is. It's like like she let
• 28:31
  Speaker 2: me be me so she wasn't she did. She didn't
• 28:34
  Speaker 2: do it for no charity case. She didn't do anything.
• 28:36
  Speaker 4: Did she ever make you feel the table? Hell no,
• 28:39
  Speaker 4: she treated you.
• 28:39
  Speaker 2: Get out the car, take these bags, like, come on,
• 28:42
  Speaker 2: like you can hang this pitch up. She did it all.
• 28:44
  Speaker 3: She made me a lot.
• 28:46
  Speaker 1: I wouldn't be wha I am today if it wasn't
• 28:48
  Speaker 1: I could honestly speak that ship because now when she
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: left me, I realized I had to do everything that
• 28:53
  Speaker 1: she was doing for me by myself.
• 28:54
  Speaker 4: And then you realized how much that woman I got shot.
• 28:58
  Speaker 2: She was encouraged me to use my stick. Now look
• 29:00
  Speaker 2: at me. It was with my stick. She was encouraging
• 29:02
  Speaker 2: me to talk about what I'm going through. Now look
• 29:05
  Speaker 2: at me.
• 29:05
  Speaker 1: I'm on the podcast talk about what I'm going through.
• 29:08
  Speaker 1: Like I hid myself from the world.
• 29:11
  Speaker 2: But she knew the real me.
• 29:12
  Speaker 1: I used to be outside talking, talking, popping my shit,
• 29:15
  Speaker 1: but then when I go in the room, I'm crying
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: and vulnerable, and she did rubbing my back, like yo,
• 29:19
  Speaker 1: stop trying to pretend to be something that you really
• 29:21
  Speaker 1: not no more. And I used to flip out on
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: her like yo, stop, like stop, because I felt like,
• 29:26
  Speaker 1: see knows everything.
• 29:27
  Speaker 2: Thron't mean shit, It's just a name now Chris, I ain't.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: I ain't scared to say, yo, I'm sorry, I apologize
• 29:35
  Speaker 1: this not there. And in the midst of all of that,
• 29:37
  Speaker 1: I was a monster to her, and it's like she's
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: the only one that was there for me.
• 29:42
  Speaker 3: I got shot.
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: She never left my side from the respirate up. I'm
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: on machine. Just beat be beat and she's standing right
• 29:47
  Speaker 1: there next to me. Took off work and like, I
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: shit it on her.
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: I fucked he over.
• 29:52
  Speaker 1: I didn't care about her feelings. I was like, why
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: I came about your feelings when it's all about me?
• 29:57
  Speaker 2: I was self fish. Now, No, I ain't, ain't, I ain't.
• 30:01
  Speaker 3: I get that back.
• 30:02
  Speaker 2: It's over see, I gotta protect her. I didn't protect them.
• 30:05
  Speaker 4: Oh man, that's accountability right there, and a lot of
• 30:09
  Speaker 4: men don't do that. And the fact that you said
• 30:11
  Speaker 4: something big. I didn't protect her, And that's what a
• 30:13
  Speaker 4: lot of relationships lack these days. It's protection of your spouse,
• 30:16
  Speaker 4: not just your own emotions, because a lot of the
• 30:18
  Speaker 4: times we are dating with self centeredness when we date
• 30:21
  Speaker 4: just to protect our own emotions because we don't want
• 30:22
  Speaker 4: to get hurt. And that's why a lot of people
• 30:24
  Speaker 4: have a side chick, a side nigga too. You know
• 30:26
  Speaker 4: what I'm saying, Just a bunch of guy people.
• 30:28
  Speaker 2: So it don't even make you feel good.
• 30:29
  Speaker 4: Because you want to feel protected, but you're not protecting
• 30:31
  Speaker 4: your partner. Maybe if we if we focus more on
• 30:33
  Speaker 4: protecting our partner than protecting ourselves. Maybe our partner. It'll
• 30:36
  Speaker 4: be our partner's job to protect us while we protect them,
• 30:39
  Speaker 4: and then we can protect each other.
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: And she was protecting me, and I went to protect her,
• 30:42
  Speaker 1: like even when sh didn't look right and she see
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: people was moving funny, that didn't move funny.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: Before I got shot, she she got pissed off, she
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: got mad at that, she got angry, angry, and defense.
• 30:53
  Speaker 1: She was defending me when it's time to defend how
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I didn't do it because in my mind is like,
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: it's not about you, it's about me.
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: He's ad one.
• 31:00
  Speaker 4: It's my world.
• 31:01
  Speaker 2: I'm the blond one. I gotta figure this out.
• 31:03
  Speaker 4: The Cardi line. Just now that you say I'm the drama, I.
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: Walked the drama because I put her through so much shit.
• 31:10
  Speaker 1: She had and not only just me, she had to
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: battle with friends, family and everything else. And it's like
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: it was all of us against her, when really she
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: was just making sure I was there anybody that could
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: love your kids like they own.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: It's for you.
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: I've seen this her pork clothes on go odside, one
• 31:28
  Speaker 1: o'clock in the morning. Just go walk the dominos and
• 31:31
  Speaker 1: get my son pizza and it's like I fucked that up.
• 31:34
  Speaker 2: Tommy walked in the street like I wasn't no angel
• 31:36
  Speaker 2: on the streets.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: People I ran into that we had problems with and
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: they said my name and she just knew my face expression.
• 31:42
  Speaker 2: She still in front of me, and it's like, nah,
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: don't do that.
• 31:47
  Speaker 1: She's like, nah, like we both gonna get them, but nah,
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: it ain't. It ain't about that, like just chill, fall back,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: let me be a man. Then now she starts like,
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: don't Now, I'm staying by your side. I'm not gonna
• 31:57
  Speaker 1: let you get a nigga get that close to you
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: until you feel safe. She did at all. So it's
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: like I fucked that whole package. That's real, fuck that
• 32:05
  Speaker 1: whole package.
• 32:06
  Speaker 4: I can't say that everybody that I did wrong you
• 32:08
  Speaker 4: deserved that. There's no ways to who I did wrong
• 32:11
  Speaker 4: because I don't do people wrong for no reason and
• 32:13
  Speaker 4: maybe that's the woman in me.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: No, for real, I really have no regrets.
• 32:19
  Speaker 4: Anybody that I did wrong, you deserve that ship. And
• 32:23
  Speaker 4: I'm dead serious because I don't just go around. I
• 32:24
  Speaker 4: don't cheat until I'm cheating on well back in the day. Now,
• 32:27
  Speaker 4: if I get cheated on God for big I will leave.
• 32:30
  Speaker 4: But before it was like, yeah, you want to play
• 32:32
  Speaker 4: a game. It's like you want to play a game,
• 32:34
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna play a game. I'mnna play work. And the
• 32:36
  Speaker 4: people always say, oh, I'm gonna give me somebody in wheelchair,
• 32:38
  Speaker 4: ain't got no this wheelchair going sixty miles per hour, nigga,
• 32:42
  Speaker 4: you would never see me even rolling, you would even
• 32:44
  Speaker 4: selling that nigga crib. The only way you can catch
• 32:46
  Speaker 4: me is that they got stairs and I'm getting carried out.
• 32:48
  Speaker 4: And there's been some times. There's been some times, but
• 32:52
  Speaker 4: in real life though, in the reality of it, the
• 32:55
  Speaker 4: cheer don't stop ship and being blonde don't stop ship
• 32:58
  Speaker 4: because I really did some I did min.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: Dirt in this chair.
• 33:01
  Speaker 4: I didn't got as in this chair. Well, it's just
• 33:06
  Speaker 4: it's like I said, if you choose to feel sorry
• 33:08
  Speaker 4: for yourself, people are gonna treat you like you're sorry.
• 33:10
  Speaker 4: If you live in who you are and except like,
• 33:13
  Speaker 4: all right, this may not be I might not be
• 33:14
  Speaker 4: exactly who I was before, but this is just me
• 33:16
  Speaker 4: two point h then you're gonna get treated like that.
• 33:19
  Speaker 4: You gotta know your worth because anybody, like I said,
• 33:22
  Speaker 4: whether you're disabled, or whether you're not. If you don't
• 33:24
  Speaker 4: know your work, give you chump change, they're gonna break
• 33:27
  Speaker 4: change on your ass and you're gonna look like a food.
• 33:29
  Speaker 4: You understanding that.
• 33:31
  Speaker 1: Going viral things to Frenchy, you know, because she let
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: popping out here in these streets.
• 33:35
  Speaker 3: You feel me.
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: I want to apologize to every girl like that with honestly,
• 33:39
  Speaker 1: not for real, like I wasn't like no, I cause
• 33:43
  Speaker 1: trauma on a lot of women that didn't.
• 33:46
  Speaker 2: For my pleasure. It's like, I know you really liked me.
• 33:50
  Speaker 2: I know you really wanted me. I know, and I
• 33:54
  Speaker 2: took advantage. They're gonna, well, they don't want you now
• 33:57
  Speaker 2: your people.
• 33:58
  Speaker 1: It's not every time I see my apolo. Yeah, I
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: apologize like all my exes. We cool, we could talk,
• 34:04
  Speaker 1: we vibe like from my baby mother. She didn't deserve
• 34:07
  Speaker 1: what I did though, a lot of females didn't deserve
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: what I did.
• 34:10
  Speaker 4: It though, And just to be clear, he is not
• 34:11
  Speaker 4: apologizing because he's blond, because he did have of this
• 34:14
  Speaker 4: ship while he was blond. He's apologizing because he's growing up.
• 34:18
  Speaker 2: I grew up. I know they deserve better. I wasn't
• 34:22
  Speaker 2: the man to give them better.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: So I feel like, don't stop somebody else's process, because
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: what you want going on, you're hurting people and moving
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: on you just causing trauma on them.
• 34:31
  Speaker 2: That making it worse for the next man. Just move
• 34:34
  Speaker 2: out the way.
• 34:34
  Speaker 1: If you feel like you can't benefit them, if you
• 34:39
  Speaker 1: better move out the way. If I out the way,
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: I can't add value to your life, I'm falling back
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: because I'm not going to stop the next opportunity to
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: come in that can add the value to your life
• 34:48
  Speaker 1: because of my silly prop That's how.
• 34:50
  Speaker 4: A lot of people end up broken though, because people
• 34:52
  Speaker 4: don't know when to move out the way. People don't
• 34:54
  Speaker 4: when to let know to just let go, like all right,
• 34:57
  Speaker 4: this is no longer feeding any intres but people to people.
• 35:00
  Speaker 4: Instead of feeding someone's spirit, they want to take out
• 35:03
  Speaker 4: their mouths. They just want to they want to take
• 35:04
  Speaker 4: from their soul because it's like, oh, I've been with
• 35:07
  Speaker 4: you so long, nobody else is going to get anything
• 35:09
  Speaker 4: good from you.
• 35:10
  Speaker 2: You know what I mean, love them that much, do
• 35:12
  Speaker 2: not break them down.
• 35:13
  Speaker 4: If you love someone. I'm a firm believer as now
• 35:15
  Speaker 4: that i'm older. If you love someone, you let them go.
• 35:18
  Speaker 4: You know what I'm saying, because you know that they're
• 35:20
  Speaker 4: going to come back, And on top of that, even
• 35:21
  Speaker 4: if they don't come back, you still love them enough
• 35:23
  Speaker 4: to want to see them happy with someone else, especially
• 35:25
  Speaker 4: people that have kids with other people. When I'm saying
• 35:28
  Speaker 4: this to you, now, if it's not working out with
• 35:30
  Speaker 4: your baby daddy, if it's not working out with your
• 35:32
  Speaker 4: let them go because they still have to raise your child.
• 35:34
  Speaker 4: They still have to be there for your child. And
• 35:36
  Speaker 4: that's why so many people are broken, because it starts
• 35:38
  Speaker 4: from parenting, you know what I'm saying. So now, if
• 35:40
  Speaker 4: I see my parents fighting and arguing, what do you
• 35:42
  Speaker 4: think I'm going to do in my relationships? If I
• 35:44
  Speaker 4: see my mama and my daddy cheating, what you think
• 35:45
  Speaker 4: I'm going to do some relationships? If I see my
• 35:48
  Speaker 4: parents disrespecting each other? What you think I'm going to
• 35:50
  Speaker 4: do in relationships?
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: You pass on.
• 35:52
  Speaker 4: If I see my parents just staying and being passive
• 35:55
  Speaker 4: in relationships, what do you think I'm gonna do? I'm
• 35:56
  Speaker 4: gonna just stay and be passive too, And that's what
• 35:58
  Speaker 4: a lot of people do. It just it just happens
• 36:00
  Speaker 4: again in the next generation, and in the next generation.
• 36:02
  Speaker 2: No space for all of us to cause this thing,
• 36:04
  Speaker 2: this world.
• 36:04
  Speaker 4: Amen, and that's why these are my French facts. Yes,
• 36:09
  Speaker 4: so each and every episode we will now be doing
• 36:12
  Speaker 4: Frenchy facts, and this one is today. The simplest way
• 36:15
  Speaker 4: to date is to choose. Who choose. Chooses. You don't
• 36:19
  Speaker 4: chase attract. So if you feel yourself having a pool
• 36:21
  Speaker 4: too hard, you let go nothing that's meant for you.
• 36:24
  Speaker 4: It's gonna be hard, it's gonna feel easy. Yes, it'll
• 36:26
  Speaker 4: be harder to keep and maintained because everybody's gonna go
• 36:30
  Speaker 4: through growing changes and it's either you're gonna grow together
• 36:32
  Speaker 4: or you're gonna grow apart, and you have to be
• 36:34
  Speaker 4: willing to accept whichever one that is. Dating has nothing
• 36:38
  Speaker 4: to do with your d disability. It has everything to
• 36:40
  Speaker 4: do with how you see yourself. If you do not
• 36:43
  Speaker 4: love yourself, no one can love you. So the first
• 36:46
  Speaker 4: step is loving yourself. And it doesn't matter what age
• 36:49
  Speaker 4: you are. You can learn to love yourself again. Stop
• 36:51
  Speaker 4: giving yourself false hope thinking oh this will happen. I'll
• 36:54
  Speaker 4: start walking this day. Whether you walk or not, you
• 36:56
  Speaker 4: need to learn yourself in any situation, any predicament that
• 36:59
  Speaker 4: you're in. Don't just sit there and give yourself like, oh,
• 37:02
  Speaker 4: when this happens, then this will happen, because you might
• 37:04
  Speaker 4: not ever get that chance to happen, but you still
• 37:05
  Speaker 4: have the chance to fall in love with yourself. You
• 37:08
  Speaker 4: still have the chance to let somebody else fall in
• 37:09
  Speaker 4: love with who you are now, trusting God, trusting yourself,
• 37:14
  Speaker 4: and then you'll find the right partner. Until then you
• 37:16
  Speaker 4: will be alone. And it's okay to be alone. It's
• 37:20
  Speaker 4: okay to be alone. Don't force yourself to be with
• 37:22
  Speaker 4: someone just because of what society is showing and what's
• 37:25
  Speaker 4: putting out there here. There's gonna be those sad moments.
• 37:27
  Speaker 4: It's gonna be those lonely moments, but it's okay. It's
• 37:29
  Speaker 4: better to be happy alone, well sad alone, than unhappy
• 37:33
  Speaker 4: with someone.
• 37:34
  Speaker 2: And that's my friend tracks, that's facts for your ass
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: right there.
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel good.
• 37:41
  Speaker 1: It's like therapy, man. I just unpacked a lot of stuff,
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: a lot of troublem Man. I'm about to send this
• 37:46
  Speaker 1: episode to a lot of people like look I changed.
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: Look at you.
• 37:49
  Speaker 4: No, now you make it seem like it's been around.
• 37:52
  Speaker 3: I'm just playing.
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: Now you're gonna lie. I.
• 37:54
  Speaker 1: I just had a birthday party this week, A lot
• 37:56
  Speaker 1: of females down theirself at me.
• 37:58
  Speaker 2: I don't even want it.
• 37:59
  Speaker 1: The days, Oh, I'm taking it all. I'm trying to
• 38:01
  Speaker 1: see why I get in the bathroom. They'd be gonna
• 38:03
  Speaker 1: slide off to my creb this that, and nah, I'm
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: just I'm brushing off. I might y'all be right back,
• 38:07
  Speaker 1: and I'm silly. No, So for you to get curved
• 38:09
  Speaker 1: by a blind man. He told her you're coming right
• 38:11
  Speaker 1: back with no stick and he just moved like something.
• 38:14
  Speaker 4: So what's your take?
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: ONDTB energy is beautiful, good, full of energy, good vibes,
• 38:20
  Speaker 1: good energy, like I when you see a celebrity like, oh,
• 38:24
  Speaker 1: they stuck up and all that.
• 38:26
  Speaker 2: After when she came in and it's like me and
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: her was best friend, like we knew each other forever.
• 38:29
  Speaker 4: That's tign Gemini energy.
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: Yeah, she dancing twerk and everything. Yo, come on, let's
• 38:33
  Speaker 1: take a picture, like grabbing me, Let's take a picture.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, I love this energy. I'm like, yo,
• 38:37
  Speaker 1: clear the stage is too many people on stage? She said, Nah,
• 38:40
  Speaker 1: a lot of shit leave them. So it's like she
• 38:42
  Speaker 1: didn't let that superstar fame getar her head. She rocked
• 38:45
  Speaker 1: out with the crowd. She's supposed left at two thirty.
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: She wound up leaving at three thirty. I had to
• 38:49
  Speaker 1: pay extra for the for the the black truck, but
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: it didn't matter, like the energy was unmatched.
• 38:54
  Speaker 4: What time did the club close for? Okay? What time
• 38:58
  Speaker 4: you left?
• 39:00
  Speaker 2: Five? Six?
• 39:01
  Speaker 4: Oh?
• 39:01
  Speaker 3: So you had to sit there.
• 39:03
  Speaker 2: Count money and shit, count your prey, which my sister
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: did because I was fried rice.
• 39:07
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, it was a good turnout. It wasn't
• 39:10
  Speaker 4: amazing I seen.
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: I was like you look at my brother. I was.
• 39:15
  Speaker 1: It was.
• 39:16
  Speaker 2: It was always good man, you gotta go out there
• 39:17
  Speaker 2: and just have fun and joy yourself.
• 39:19
  Speaker 1: Ain't about me. I just felt good just to be
• 39:21
  Speaker 1: around love, you know what I mean. So that was
• 39:23
  Speaker 1: one of those ones. Man, I ain't like real pointing
• 39:26
  Speaker 1: good today.
• 39:27
  Speaker 4: I'm happy that you enjoyed your birthday. It's a blessing
• 39:30
  Speaker 4: to even it's a blessing. Think about it. It's a
• 39:32
  Speaker 4: blessing as a black man to even see this age,
• 39:34
  Speaker 4: especially a black man coming from where you come from,
• 39:37
  Speaker 4: which is good, you know what I mean, and especially
• 39:39
  Speaker 4: getting shot. So this is a landmark right now.
• 39:41
  Speaker 2: I got friends I never seen twenty.
• 39:43
  Speaker 4: God is so good.
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: Friends I never seen nineteen. So it's like I gotta live.
• 39:47
  Speaker 2: I'm living.
• 39:48
  Speaker 1: Not only I'm living for myself, I'm living for them
• 39:50
  Speaker 1: the life that they never had. So I'm every time
• 39:52
  Speaker 1: I pop a bottle, I said, hey, it could have
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: been me in a grave. Thirteen years ago. It could
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: have been me in a grave. So every time I
• 39:59
  Speaker 1: popped about on the club, this is another accomplishment, or
• 40:02
  Speaker 1: another year I reach, another year that they can't stop me,
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: another year that they gonna hit them, they gonna hit me,
• 40:07
  Speaker 1: pop my ship. The worst thing they did was let
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: me get up off that floor. Because now I'm shaking
• 40:12
  Speaker 1: the earth. And that's how I'm over it.
• 40:14
  Speaker 4: And I always tell people that God put me in
• 40:18
  Speaker 4: his chair because it got me in doors that I
• 40:21
  Speaker 4: would never be able to walk in. So doors that
• 40:23
  Speaker 4: I would never be able to walk in, he made
• 40:25
  Speaker 4: accessible so that I could roll through with quickness and
• 40:27
  Speaker 4: smoothness and grace. So at the end of the day,
• 40:30
  Speaker 4: look at your disability. Stop looking at as a disability,
• 40:33
  Speaker 4: and look at it as a new ability. We were
• 40:35
  Speaker 4: told by someone that we shouldn't use that word, But
• 40:38
  Speaker 4: at the end of the day, I'm taking the power
• 40:39
  Speaker 4: back from that power.
• 40:40
  Speaker 2: I don't feel that.
• 40:41
  Speaker 4: I don't feel no way about that word.
• 40:45
  Speaker 3: You know what, I don't.
• 40:46
  Speaker 4: I just feel like I feel like at the end
• 40:48
  Speaker 4: of the day, I took this, we took this, and
• 40:52
  Speaker 4: I'm gonna speak my part than let my brother do his.
• 40:54
  Speaker 4: But I took this and you know, made it into
• 40:57
  Speaker 4: what works for me, And now I'm doing things that
• 41:00
  Speaker 4: people that are ablebody aren't doing it and can't do,
• 41:03
  Speaker 4: you know what I mean.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: So with all her being at a wheelchair, me having
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: a stick, it would never be in a blode but
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: Nazi podcast exactly. I've still been in the trenches somewhere
• 41:11
  Speaker 1: right now, somebody a blessing, nobody that's a blessing, and
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: nothing that it feels good like this disabled thing, like, yeah,
• 41:19
  Speaker 1: I'm glad people come me disabled. I love it right
• 41:22
  Speaker 1: because when I'm in the club, her manager was like, yeah, bro,
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: you're really doing it.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: And I said doing what He like, you really disabled?
• 41:29
  Speaker 2: That ship is packed. I said, what you expect, he said,
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: I ain't gonna lie. I didn't think it was gonna
• 41:33
  Speaker 2: be like that's just the pack out of the show. Hello,
• 41:35
  Speaker 2: I love this ship.
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: I feel good. I feel part of my ship.
• 41:38
  Speaker 4: But you need to come do one in Queens.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: And I'm coming to Queens. I'm coming.
• 41:45
  Speaker 4: Come on.
• 41:46
  Speaker 2: That's a good no, it is a team floor shout out.
• 41:49
  Speaker 1: I can we got some ship working out Hollywood, butter
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: like be rocking fan and like, I'm coming to Queens.
• 41:54
  Speaker 2: I'm even Brooklyn alone. When I did it, I came.
• 41:56
  Speaker 4: I saw a conquered let me let me know when
• 41:59
  Speaker 4: you get let me know when you come the Queens
• 42:00
  Speaker 4: that I can't go to, I'm coming to out there.
• 42:03
  Speaker 4: It was no fatalities though.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: It was good, no fights, no nothing, abody saying, good energy,
• 42:09
  Speaker 2: good timing.
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: But we we even played before I let go. You
• 42:12
  Speaker 1: know that's the family backyard music. I mean, nigga, go
• 42:14
  Speaker 1: home safe, be full the guns in a call like
• 42:17
  Speaker 1: that's good safe, well before before we even get out here.
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: I just want to let people know I'm the motherfuckering
• 42:27
  Speaker 1: man when I walk through. Nah No, I ain't gonna
• 42:31
  Speaker 1: do that, but I just want to let people know.
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: Don't hold on to nobody that you know, you're not
• 42:35
  Speaker 1: providing value to that, You're just using them, You beating
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: that person down, You're just thinking about yourself. It's not good,
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: especially if that person got kids, because when you beat
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: them down, guess what, you leaving their kids with nothing
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: to really latch onto it.
• 42:49
  Speaker 2: And that's selfish. Like I had to learn that by
• 42:52
  Speaker 2: let my.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: Baby mother go.
• 42:54
  Speaker 2: I'm gonna stop saying my baby mother, my child's mother.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Gold be happy because if if I'm grabbing herd and
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: I'm grabbing my eggs to honey and I'm pulling them along,
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: dragging up, they got two kids that depend on them,
• 43:06
  Speaker 1: so they gleaning on that, I'm bleaning on them.
• 43:08
  Speaker 2: So who they kids leaning on?
• 43:10
  Speaker 1: So I was selfish if you can't if you're laying
• 43:15
  Speaker 1: down next to a person and you're not loving that person,
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: then you shouldn't be laying next to that person.
• 43:20
  Speaker 2: I believe in spirits and demons and energy and everything.
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: You don't need that on you. Let that go one night,
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: staying don't mean nothing. I was with somebody that just
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: sat there and said, so he tells me it was
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: okay to catch an STD.
• 43:34
  Speaker 2: That's terrible. I'm like, huh, who said that? I ain't
• 43:37
  Speaker 2: even gonna tell you.
• 43:38
  Speaker 4: Oh my god, No, you gotta put these people out
• 43:41
  Speaker 4: in the world because those of you was like sit
• 43:42
  Speaker 4: there and there and fest.
• 43:43
  Speaker 2: It's okay to catch a SDD as long as it's terrible,
• 43:46
  Speaker 2: I said, but.
• 43:46
  Speaker 4: Do they not know that every time you catch an
• 43:49
  Speaker 4: STD it makes you more susceptible to bigger STDs.
• 43:53
  Speaker 2: The only thing that do is makes you smarter, I said, Bro,
• 43:57
  Speaker 2: I'm smart as fuck. I know what to do what
• 43:59
  Speaker 2: not to do.
• 44:00
  Speaker 4: So like that makes you smarter insane?
• 44:03
  Speaker 2: No, it makes you really actually dumb. No funny, no
• 44:06
  Speaker 2: funny ship, But that's that. How do I say this
• 44:10
  Speaker 2: the right way?
• 44:11
  Speaker 4: Say it exactly how you want to say?
• 44:13
  Speaker 5: That's that's some real like Negro ship, yo, But that's
• 44:17
  Speaker 5: not real, Like I don't want to do the hard.
• 44:21
  Speaker 3: That's some hard.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: That's how aides get passed around. That's how everything sds
• 44:26
  Speaker 1: and all that passed herpes and all that ship. I'm
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: just like that ship was just dumb. But living your truth.
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Don't pretend to be something united. If life change, roll
• 44:35
  Speaker 1: with the changes, but make sure you got control of
• 44:38
  Speaker 1: the changes. Don't hide behind the walls or who you are,
• 44:42
  Speaker 1: because you're still that person, no matter if you lost
• 44:44
  Speaker 1: your sight, no matter if you lost your ability to walk,
• 44:46
  Speaker 1: You're still that person.
• 44:47
  Speaker 2: Don't let nobody tell you you not who you are.
• 44:50
  Speaker 2: I am seeing. It will always be seeing.
• 44:51
  Speaker 1: On whether I can see, whether I can't see. Nobody
• 44:53
  Speaker 1: can't tell me of the difference. I feel like I'm
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: a cool nigga even not seeing. Let's go so on
• 44:58
  Speaker 1: that note, Man, Frenchie, did you fuck this one up?
• 45:01
  Speaker 1: And the words of jay Z, I would not lose
• 45:03
  Speaker 1: man A look the episode of Blowing I See podcasts. Man,
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: we off this ship.