Latest / Decisions, Decisions / You've Got Decisions: We Had a Threesome. Now My Husband Is Secretly Sending Her Money? feat. Janelle & Dre
Transcript
- 0:01Speaker 1: If you would like to have us answer your questions,
- 0:04Speaker 1: if you have a terrible job, a terrible boyfriend, or
- 0:08Speaker 1: a terrible throuple, guess what?
- 0:11Speaker 2: You've got decisions. Hey, y'all.
- 0:13Speaker 1: Happy Wednesday. It is You Got Decisions time. I'm on
- 0:17Speaker 1: the couch with a couple that is on a recent
- 0:19Speaker 1: Horrible Decisions episode.
- 0:20Speaker 2: They are fire.
- 0:21Speaker 1: Janelle and Dre are going to give us all their advice. Now,
- 0:25Speaker 1: you want to check out the video and see what
- 0:26Speaker 1: they look like. They're hot. Go to patreon.com backslash Horrible Decisions. Otherwise,
- 0:30Speaker 1: just enjoy this audio of their sexy voices.
- 0:32Speaker 2: Okay, cool.
- 0:34Speaker 1: Now, if you are on our Patreon, you know you
- 0:35Speaker 1: get first access to questions. So this is from one
- 0:38Speaker 1: of our listeners. I am wondering how to handle something.
- 0:41Speaker 1: Quick background. I am married. I've been with my husband
- 0:44Speaker 1: since I was 18. I'm about to be 33 in December.
- 0:47Speaker 1: Two kids, a four-year-old and a 10-month-old. I am the
- 0:50Speaker 1: open-minded one sexually, but my husband has opened up. We
- 0:54Speaker 1: would joke about meeting women at a bar, but we
- 0:56Speaker 1: never really brought anybody home. In the past, we fucked
- 0:59Speaker 1: just one of my friends on a late night, and
- 1:02Speaker 1: I let another friend suck his dick at a different time. Anyway,
- 1:05Speaker 1: we decide to fuck around with a woman that he met.
- 1:08Speaker 1: She was cute. We had a good night.
- 1:10Speaker 3: That was it.
- 1:10Speaker 1: Nothing more. Nothing else. So I thought. My husband and
- 1:13Speaker 1: I did speak about an expectation with one another after
- 1:17Speaker 1: and before. We were in a group chat before having sex,
- 1:21Speaker 1: but we don't really use it now as we agreed
- 1:22Speaker 1: to let things breathe after we checked in with her.
- 1:25Speaker 1: Great thing to check in, by the way. My husband
- 1:28Speaker 1: and the woman talked separately before I was added to
- 1:31Speaker 1: the chat. Fast forward, he's continued to talk with her separately,
- 1:34Speaker 1: and he's been giving her money. How would you handle this?
- 1:37Speaker 1: I wrote and said, how'd you find out? She said,
- 1:39Speaker 1: I saw him texting her by mistake, and he quickly
- 1:42Speaker 1: moved his phone so I didn't see it. I checked
- 1:44Speaker 1: it while he was in the shower. 52 deleted texts.
- 1:47Speaker 1: Don't text phones. I think it's a waste of energy.
- 1:49Speaker 1: But the action of sending the money is what's got
- 1:52Speaker 1: her upset. And obviously talking separately.
- 1:55Speaker 3: What do we do?
- 1:56Speaker 2: Okay. Um... That's so, it's so interesting.
- 1:59Speaker 4: We, we had a conversation recently about entitlement and being
- 2:05Speaker 4: entitled and going back to our conversation around like finances
- 2:08Speaker 4: in that when we were talking about what to share,
- 2:11Speaker 4: how much to share with our other partners, you know, we,
- 2:16Speaker 4: we didn't get to a certain number yet, but I
- 2:19Speaker 4: was like, I mean, 20, 20, 20%, like how much,
- 2:22Speaker 4: how much are we talking? Like I feel very much
- 2:24Speaker 4: entitled to like, I don't know, you give a bitch money.
- 2:27Speaker 4: And so going back to, like, her kind of feeling of, like, yeah,
- 2:30Speaker 4: we fucked up together and you guys are talking, but, like,
- 2:32Speaker 4: it's really the money, like, the resource part of it.
- 2:36Speaker 1: Wait, what's the 20%?
- 2:37Speaker 2: I would say, like, of our budget, right?
- 2:40Speaker 1: 20% of your budget can go to dating.
- 2:43Speaker 4: We don't have a number yet. We don't have a number.
- 2:45Speaker 4: We're actually, this is an active thing.
- 2:47Speaker 3: That we are, like, in conversation about.
- 2:49Speaker 5: How much of our budget, our personal money that we're
- 2:51Speaker 5: putting together with our bills and in our separate that
- 2:53Speaker 5: we have for our play money can't go towards like
- 2:56Speaker 5: other people to be used on other people.
- 2:58Speaker 2: Full discretion, whether that's vacation or not.
- 3:00Speaker 3: Full discretion, vacation, whatever.
- 3:00Speaker 1: How did that come up as something you knew you
- 3:02Speaker 1: needed to talk about? I haven't reached that yet.
- 3:04Speaker 5: The reason it came up is because we learned from
- 3:06Speaker 5: our other arguments to other E & M situations and
- 3:09Speaker 5: stuff like that, that like we value different things. And
- 3:12Speaker 5: so for her, as like my partner and as a woman,
- 3:15Speaker 5: she's like, I value resources because that's the one thing
- 3:17Speaker 5: that women do guard. And that's also another thing, another
- 3:20Speaker 5: reason why women get married. It's a very influential thing
- 3:22Speaker 5: in like stability and all this stuff.
- 3:24Speaker 3: It's resources, right?
- 3:25Speaker 5: A lot of decisions that a lot of women make
- 3:27Speaker 5: is because around resources.
- 3:29Speaker 3: Married the guy that they didn't want to marry.
- 3:30Speaker 5: Because of resources. So because that's a big thing. Yeah,
- 3:34Speaker 5: because that's a big thing. She's like, we need to
- 3:37Speaker 5: have a conversation around that. Whereas in me as a man.
- 3:41Speaker 1: You're like, it's my money.
- 3:42Speaker 3: Not even so much as my money. Is that everything
- 3:44Speaker 3: that we.
- 3:44Speaker 2: He doesn't feel entitled to my money in the same way.
- 3:45Speaker 5: I don't feel entitled to her money because most of
- 3:47Speaker 5: the time when she goes out and she go on
- 3:49Speaker 5: a date, she's not paying.
- 3:51Speaker 3: Someone else is probably paying. That's one. And everything for me,
- 3:54Speaker 3: my whole entire life as a man is pay to play.
- 3:58Speaker 3: Every single moment of my life. We'll always.
- 4:00Speaker 5: First dates... There's this, my parents, when they get older,
- 4:03Speaker 5: everything is always going to be around money. So money
- 4:05Speaker 5: has lost its like importance to me.
- 4:07Speaker 1: Okay. Great, great point.
- 4:09Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 4:10Speaker 2: So context. What was her question though? I just want
- 4:12Speaker 2: to make sure that like.
- 4:13Speaker 1: She's saying, how does she handle? Let me open it
- 4:15Speaker 1: back up. Fast forward. My husband continued.
- 4:18Speaker 5: How would you handle this? I, my best advice to
- 4:21Speaker 5: her would be this. It is very common sometimes when,
- 4:25Speaker 5: cause we've had this happen to you when we've interacted
- 4:27Speaker 5: with someone. And they lean towards one side compared to
- 4:30Speaker 5: the other.
- 4:31Speaker 4: Right?
- 4:31Speaker 2: What do you mean?
- 4:32Speaker 3: They lean towards... When you're dating together.
- 4:35Speaker 1: Oh, yes.
- 4:35Speaker 2: So they did an interaction together. He met her.
- 4:40Speaker 1: I've had maybe 10 women we've slept with. Let's just
- 4:42Speaker 1: say that's the number two. I felt like it was
- 4:45Speaker 1: fully even in both ends.
- 4:47Speaker 3: Exactly. It's rare. It's very, very rare.
- 4:49Speaker 5: And so because of that, I would say my best
- 4:51Speaker 5: advice to her would be like, hey... we've had a
- 4:54Speaker 5: lot of things that happen in the dark. Let's just
- 4:56Speaker 5: start putting it to light because if she truly does
- 4:58Speaker 5: like the person, right? Then you have an opportunity or
- 5:01Speaker 5: either one of them, right?
- 5:02Speaker 3: If they truly do, right?
- 5:03Speaker 5: Like the person, they have the opportunity to like reset
- 5:07Speaker 5: and have that moment of like, let's bring everything to like,
- 5:10Speaker 5: I know like you really like her.
- 5:11Speaker 3: You want to keep talking to her. I may also
- 5:13Speaker 3: equally like her too.
- 5:15Speaker 5: I will like our, conversations and stuff like that to
- 5:17Speaker 5: continue together, right? Because that's the thing. I think they
- 5:21Speaker 5: operated from an assumption rather than the agreements that we're
- 5:24Speaker 5: talking about.
- 5:25Speaker 1: I actually don't think if I said something that said,
- 5:29Speaker 1: If the intention was not to talk separate, I don't
- 5:31Speaker 1: know if I could ever bring that person back around.
- 5:34Speaker 1: I could forgive.
- 5:35Speaker 3: But she never said it. And that's the key part.
- 5:37Speaker 1: Did she not? She never said that the intention.
- 5:39Speaker 3: Was not to interact with her separately.
- 5:41Speaker 2: I think there was an assumption that they would not.
- 5:44Speaker 2: Here's the thing, right?
- 5:45Speaker 1: You're right.
- 5:45Speaker 3: A lot of people make assumptions.
- 5:47Speaker 4: Because she said her husband, she's the more open one.
- 5:50Speaker 4: And then her husband has come around to opening up.
- 5:53Speaker 4: And so I think in the assumption of, oh, I'm
- 5:55Speaker 4: the more adventurous, I'm the one that's more open, so
- 5:58Speaker 4: I'm likely to be the one.
- 5:59Speaker 2: That's going to go off and do the things.
- 6:00Speaker 3: Instead of you.
- 6:00Speaker 4: These are probably not going to even want to think
- 6:02Speaker 4: or do about that conversation.
- 6:04Speaker 1: I want people to know that. We'll also have her
- 6:07Speaker 1: info in the description. Hearing this, do you find often
- 6:12Speaker 1: that a woman can open the marriage up or start
- 6:14Speaker 1: that suggestion and then they're like, fuck no, and they
- 6:16Speaker 1: want to take it back?
- 6:17Speaker 2: Yeah, both men and both people.
- 6:19Speaker 1: Why do they want to do that?
- 6:21Speaker 2: Generally.
- 6:22Speaker 4: Yeah, generally speaking, the reason why people open up is
- 6:25Speaker 4: for women. The reasons that women freak out when they
- 6:28Speaker 4: open up is one, literally that scenario, oh, you're going
- 6:32Speaker 4: to buy her gifts and vacations and money and whoa, whoa, whoa.
- 6:36Speaker 4: I thought this was just like a cool old sex
- 6:39Speaker 4: a sex time right um you also see them freaking
- 6:43Speaker 4: out even on the even on the emotional on the
- 6:45Speaker 4: emotional side too um of like oh you told her
- 6:49Speaker 4: about xyz thing like oh i didn't know that you
- 6:55Speaker 4: like talked to her at that level like oh you
- 6:57Speaker 4: told her about like your hard time with your dad,
- 7:00Speaker 4: I thought that that was the thing that you only opened.
- 7:03Speaker 2: Up to me about.
- 7:03Speaker 1: You got me thinking, would I be mad?
- 7:05Speaker 2: Yeah. Or even just the first time, right? So that's hard.
- 7:08Speaker 2: But that was with women, right?
- 7:10Speaker 4: With men, I find that one of the issues, one
- 7:12Speaker 4: of the common, not the only, one of the common
- 7:14Speaker 4: issues with men that.
- 7:15Speaker 2: They realize that.
- 7:19Speaker 4: Their dating potential as a married man significantly decreases by
- 7:25Speaker 4: being married. Versus their woman's dang potential as being a
- 7:30Speaker 4: married woman.
- 7:31Speaker 5: Yes.
- 7:32Speaker 2: I.E.
- 7:33Speaker 4: Married women have an easier time finding male partners to
- 7:38Speaker 4: fuck with than married men have time.
- 7:40Speaker 1: Can I guess why?
- 7:42Speaker 2: You can guess why. There's two reasons.
- 7:44Speaker 1: To me, it's that, oh, you know, it's just really sex.
- 7:48Speaker 2: Like, you know, it's not.
- 7:49Speaker 4: Okay.
- 7:49Speaker 3: Okay.
- 7:50Speaker 1: I think most men want to fuck. And then it's
- 7:53Speaker 1: like this super safe space. Even the reaction people give me. Actually, no,
- 7:58Speaker 1: maybe not women, but men definitely are like, oh, like
- 8:03Speaker 1: I totally. OK, because now we don't have to tap
- 8:05Speaker 1: and dance.
- 8:06Speaker 2: We don't have to play around.
- 8:07Speaker 3: I could just get straight to what I want.
- 8:08Speaker 4: So it goes back to the second thing, which is
- 8:10Speaker 4: like just like social, socially and politically.
- 8:13Speaker 3: It is.
- 8:16Speaker 4: You have more privileges than you looked at, at least
- 8:19Speaker 4: in a higher esteem, as a side nigga versus a
- 8:23Speaker 4: side bitch. Side bitch has a lot of, like, cultural
- 8:27Speaker 4: and social, like, just feelings around, stigmas around it.
- 8:31Speaker 2: Being a side nigga also has its own stigmas.
- 8:33Speaker 1: Not that bad.
- 8:34Speaker 3: But they wear it as a badge of honor. I
- 8:36Speaker 3: feel like a side nigga.
- 8:37Speaker 2: They be wearing it as a badge of honor.
- 8:39Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
- 8:40Speaker 1: Exactly, exactly, right? Yeah.
- 8:42Speaker 4: And there's this assumption that, you know, you're not getting
- 8:45Speaker 4: pleased at home, you know, in that kind of context
- 8:48Speaker 4: versus being that, you know, the side bitch. There's always
- 8:51Speaker 4: that story around like, oh, well, eventually you might leave,
- 8:54Speaker 4: but you eventually leave.
- 8:56Speaker 2: Like, I'll get chosen over.
- 8:57Speaker 1: That's a great point that something is not good at home.
- 9:01Speaker 3: Yeah. They always go with that concept.
- 9:03Speaker 5: And it's very actually irritating sometimes for me because the
- 9:06Speaker 5: concept is, that they always see whenever you're in it
- 9:08Speaker 5: or you're opening up and you're with a woman.
- 9:10Speaker 3: It's always as simple as like, you must not be enough.
- 9:12Speaker 1: It's like, no.
- 9:14Speaker 3: People love having cake and also having icing on it. Like,
- 9:17Speaker 3: it's a whole ass cake. Just you want a side
- 9:19Speaker 3: of sprinkler.
- 9:20Speaker 2: Or I want ice cream.
- 9:20Speaker 1: Do you know, I've noticed, I don't know if you
- 9:22Speaker 1: guys can speak to this. I used to be insecure
- 9:24Speaker 1: in a prior relationship when we would get in arguments
- 9:26Speaker 1: that they would go step out because like, ugh, that
- 9:29Speaker 1: person will be a new breath of fresh air. In
- 9:32Speaker 1: this relationship, I don't like doing shit like that in arguments.
- 9:35Speaker 3: I actually.
- 9:36Speaker 1: We need to be in the highest point of love for.
- 9:37Speaker 2: Me to be like, I don't like doing that.
- 9:39Speaker 1: If we're in a fight, I feel worse.
- 9:41Speaker 3: I feel worse.
- 9:42Speaker 2: We have partners, right?
- 9:45Speaker 4: And so there's a time where we've gotten into an
- 9:48Speaker 4: argument and it's right before our date. And it's not
- 9:50Speaker 4: related to the date at all. But now I'm like,
- 9:53Speaker 4: we're going on this date. And I do feel a
- 9:56Speaker 4: way about it. But I also want to make sure
- 9:58Speaker 4: that I'm not... weaponizing my privilege against other people in
- 10:03Speaker 4: our in our circle you know like sometimes it's like
- 10:06Speaker 4: yeah it is uncomfortable and annoying and sucks that I'm
- 10:09Speaker 4: sitting here on a Friday night and we just got
- 10:11Speaker 4: an argument and now you you look good and look
- 10:13Speaker 4: nice you smell nice to go out somewhere else like
- 10:16Speaker 4: that sucks um Going back to the wedding content, I was.
- 10:21Speaker 1: Well, for context, people may not have heard that.
- 10:23Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
- 10:24Speaker 3: Okay.
- 10:24Speaker 1: We had an episode of Horrible Decisions yesterday. You can
- 10:26Speaker 1: go and check that on Patreon where we talked about
- 10:30Speaker 1: exes being able to come to you guys' wedding. We
- 10:32Speaker 1: talked about a sex party you had after your wedding,
- 10:34Speaker 1: conversations in a veto list and no invite list, and
- 10:38Speaker 1: really how your wedding was different as a kinky E &
- 10:40Speaker 1: M couple. So that's what Janelle's talking about right now,
- 10:42Speaker 1: that episode.
- 10:43Speaker 2: And I was having a meltdown about flowers.
- 10:47Speaker 4: And I was trying to make a flower arrangement, like
- 10:49Speaker 4: a prep one to see what it looked like.
- 10:51Speaker 2: And it looked like shit.
- 10:52Speaker 4: And it's like three weeks before the wedding. And I'm like, oh,
- 10:55Speaker 4: my God. Like, I'm having a meltdown. And he's supposed
- 10:58Speaker 4: to have a sleepover. And like he like pops in
- 11:01Speaker 4: home and he's like, hey, like, you know, oh, dang,
- 11:04Speaker 4: I'm about to leave. But like, you know, it's OK.
- 11:06Speaker 4: Just fuck the flowers.
- 11:08Speaker 2: If we got to buy, you know, pay for some
- 11:10Speaker 2: shit last minute, it is what it is.
- 11:11Speaker 5: Right.
- 11:12Speaker 4: And as he left out and like I'm in this
- 11:15Speaker 4: like all fucked up state, I'm crying over flowers literally.
- 11:18Speaker 1: Oh.
- 11:19Speaker 4: And he calls me on the way to his date
- 11:21Speaker 4: and he's like, hey, like I feel really bad. Like
- 11:23Speaker 4: I know I'm leaving you. Like I don't want to
- 11:26Speaker 4: leave you on this. And like you're not alone in
- 11:28Speaker 4: this wedding prep. situation at all like I was very
- 11:31Speaker 4: active in it and I really appreciated about that um
- 11:35Speaker 4: and the reason why he he said he had called
- 11:38Speaker 4: because he was like I don't want you to also
- 11:39Speaker 4: feel like I'm going like I'm leaving you in this
- 11:42Speaker 4: state and going to tend to somebody else um and
- 11:46Speaker 4: I appreciated the call like I really did like I
- 11:49Speaker 4: I wasn't the selfish thing that I wanted to say
- 11:53Speaker 4: was yeah I was like come home so I can
- 11:54Speaker 4: like feel better Come home and try your hand at
- 11:58Speaker 4: this flower arrangement.
- 11:59Speaker 2: Bring the bitch. Have our new flowers.
- 12:02Speaker 4: Try your hand at this flower arrangement because right now
- 12:04Speaker 4: mine looks like shit.
- 12:12Speaker 1: Do you know in my relationship we have a thing
- 12:14Speaker 1: where we have that's the veto if like something is
- 12:18Speaker 1: off like he can't and I can't go on a
- 12:20Speaker 1: date if the other one's having a fucked up day.
- 12:22Speaker 5: I mean, I understand it because I have definitely had
- 12:25Speaker 5: her come to visit me in our earlier part of
- 12:27Speaker 5: our relationship and her and her partner got in a
- 12:29Speaker 5: fight and the whole weekend she's just like, and she's
- 12:32Speaker 5: phasing between having a really great time, having a really
- 12:34Speaker 5: bad time, having a really great time, having a bad time.
- 12:36Speaker 3: I was like, oh man.
- 12:37Speaker 4: I know.
- 12:38Speaker 3: And especially when you're coming in town to see me.
- 12:41Speaker 1: You basically, did you take his bitch? Cause now y'all married.
- 12:45Speaker 2: No, we were already not. I always told him. I
- 12:47Speaker 2: was like, hey. Yeah, I was like, hey, even if
- 12:50Speaker 2: we had not worked out, me and him would not
- 12:52Speaker 2: have worked out.
- 12:52Speaker 1: Okay, okay, okay.
- 12:53Speaker 2: It was no one for one.
- 12:54Speaker 1: But when you are dating someone, and this is an
- 12:57Speaker 1: interesting thing, and this is what people fear, you dated
- 13:00Speaker 1: someone that ended up becoming your wife, Who had a
- 13:04Speaker 1: boyfriend at the time.
- 13:05Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 13:06Speaker 1: E & M is a scary thing because what's the
- 13:07Speaker 1: biggest fear? I'll lose you to someone else.
- 13:09Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 13:09Speaker 3: It's that. It's a circle. It's also a circle too.
- 13:12Speaker 3: And that's the one thing I always talk about E & M.
- 13:14Speaker 5: Which is why a lot of my decisions that I
- 13:17Speaker 5: make when I do things with other people is like, damn, bro,
- 13:19Speaker 5: like this can turn around and bite me in the ass.
- 13:23Speaker 5: And that's exactly what's talking about in her situation and
- 13:25Speaker 5: the question she asked.
- 13:26Speaker 3: She wanted to open up. She wanted to do the thing.
- 13:28Speaker 5: She was like, I want to figure out how to
- 13:30Speaker 5: do it, whatever the case is. And it just so
- 13:32Speaker 5: happens that when you choose to open up, your partner
- 13:35Speaker 5: is actually the one now getting more of the attention.
- 13:38Speaker 5: So I think my best suggestion in regards to that
- 13:41Speaker 5: and what I have done for myself is that, hey,
- 13:43Speaker 5: I do understand that with a genie, sometimes the wishes
- 13:47Speaker 5: that I ask for may come back in a different way.
- 13:49Speaker 2: Not specific enough.
- 13:50Speaker 5: Not specific enough, right? So be more specific about what
- 13:54Speaker 5: you want and how we're doing this because sometimes that
- 13:56Speaker 5: wish don't come back how you like it.
- 13:57Speaker 1: Do you want to know a crazy one? And this
- 13:59Speaker 1: is going back to our episode we just got to
- 14:01Speaker 1: have this week where we talked about the universe listening.
- 14:06Speaker 1: My homegirl... not really my homegirl, sorry, friend of a friend,
- 14:10Speaker 1: has been talking about how much more time she needs
- 14:13Speaker 1: to herself. She has a kid, co-parenting. How she cannot
- 14:17Speaker 1: stand that she doesn't have time to herself. Do you
- 14:19Speaker 1: know her baby daddy is soon for full custody?
- 14:22Speaker 2: Okay, so let him have it.
- 14:23Speaker 1: And I was like, and now they're so upset.
- 14:27Speaker 3: Why?
- 14:27Speaker 1: And I'm like, damn, you just kind of been saying
- 14:30Speaker 1: over and over, because I've heard it when we've all
- 14:32Speaker 1: went out together, how much time she wants to herself.
- 14:35Speaker 1: And hates this, right? She loves her daughter, but... I
- 14:39Speaker 1: literally was saying to my mom on the way home,
- 14:41Speaker 1: I'm like, yo, every time I saw her, she was
- 14:43Speaker 1: talking about how much time she won. Like, it's so
- 14:45Speaker 1: clear she's asking for this thing. And this isn't the
- 14:48Speaker 1: way that she wanted. Like, we got to be so specific. Like,
- 14:52Speaker 1: even when I get frustrated about work, I have to
- 14:54Speaker 1: make sure I'm not saying I want my work to stop. Fuck,
- 14:56Speaker 1: I can't believe I have to go record today. Thank God.
- 14:59Speaker 2: Thank God it worked.
- 15:00Speaker 4: I would say, I was like, oh, yes, when I
- 15:03Speaker 4: complain about, like, I have a house. I'm like taking
- 15:06Speaker 4: care of a house.
- 15:06Speaker 2: It's like a whole thing. And then at the end,
- 15:08Speaker 2: I'm like, and thank God I have a home.
- 15:10Speaker 1: I was like.
- 15:11Speaker 2: And thank God I have a home.
- 15:12Speaker 3: The joys. I was like, the joys of homeownership.
- 15:15Speaker 1: I have some things about my opinion on the money.
- 15:18Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 15:19Speaker 3: Okay.
- 15:19Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 15:20Speaker 2: I also have a.
- 15:22Speaker 1: Oh, we should give them food because we got the
- 15:23Speaker 1: male perspective.
- 15:24Speaker 3: Yeah, money being stuff.
- 15:25Speaker 1: I would need to know what it was for. For
- 15:27Speaker 1: some reason, if it was like you get nails or
- 15:29Speaker 1: like a gift that would piss me off.
- 15:30Speaker 2: And how much?
- 15:31Speaker 1: Because it's a sneaky gift.
- 15:32Speaker 2: And how much? You gave her $ 20 for lunch? You
- 15:36Speaker 2: don't care how much it is?
- 15:37Speaker 1: No, I want to know how much.
- 15:38Speaker 2: $ 20 for lunch is, oh, you give her $ 20 for lunch.
- 15:39Speaker 1: You know what, let me ask this bitch, and I'm
- 15:41Speaker 1: going to put it in the title.
- 15:42Speaker 2: Like, okay, how much was?
- 15:44Speaker 1: I'm not joking.
- 15:45Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, okay.
- 15:46Speaker 1: Hey, girl, you definitely are going to answer it this week,
- 15:48Speaker 1: but how much was it? Need to know, LOL.
- 15:51Speaker 2: It is a totally different conversation. If it's less than $ 100.
- 15:54Speaker 2: If it's less than $ 100 versus, oh, you sent her $ 1, 000.
- 15:57Speaker 4: You sent her $ 1, 000.
- 16:00Speaker 1: No, that's how I got to send it back.
- 16:02Speaker 5: Also, too, it's crazy how, like, I guess, how susceptible
- 16:08Speaker 5: we are as men to paying for things.
- 16:11Speaker 3: It's really, really interesting.
- 16:13Speaker 5: Because it's like, I have realized, like, I have some
- 16:16Speaker 5: friends that would justify, like, any absorbent around money.
- 16:21Speaker 3: Once it's around a woman. But then other things in life.
- 16:24Speaker 2: Oh, I understand.
- 16:25Speaker 3: Because I date women.
- 16:26Speaker 2: And I'd be like, oh, you want that? Okay.
- 16:28Speaker 5: But you know what the crazy part is? I know
- 16:30Speaker 5: that's how y'all be moving when it comes to women.
- 16:32Speaker 5: Because my best friend is like that. Women can wrap
- 16:35Speaker 5: her around her fingers. Men cannot get nothing from her.
- 16:38Speaker 5: Same way she works. Women wrap her around her finger.
- 16:41Speaker 5: Men cannot get anything from her.
- 16:43Speaker 3: And I'm like, bro, so how you going to get
- 16:45Speaker 3: on me when you do the same thing?
- 16:47Speaker 2: I'm a Pisces.
- 16:48Speaker 4: Libra. Me too.
- 16:49Speaker 1: I be crying, bitch.
- 16:51Speaker 2: I be crying.
- 16:52Speaker 1: I be crying. Okay, so I said it would depend
- 16:54Speaker 1: how much it is and what it was for. I
- 16:56Speaker 1: don't like the sneaky money shit.
- 16:57Speaker 2: I also don't like the sneaky money thing.
- 16:59Speaker 4: I do think there's an opportunity to maybe turn it
- 17:02Speaker 4: into a broader conversation.
- 17:05Speaker 1: With the girl together? No, I.
- 17:07Speaker 2: Again, depends on how much it is.
- 17:09Speaker 1: You being nice and kind.
- 17:11Speaker 2: and you send her some lunch money or whatever, cool.
- 17:15Speaker 4: You send her $ 1, 000, you pay her for our bills.
- 17:18Speaker 3: That's a little different.
- 17:18Speaker 2: What are we talking about?
- 17:19Speaker 3: Okay, that's a little different. What are we talking about?
- 17:21Speaker 3: That's a little different.
- 17:22Speaker 5: But I do fundamentally, if it's like a little $ 100, fine.
- 17:26Speaker 5: But I think they can circle back just primarily because
- 17:28Speaker 5: I always go off of, He's.
- 17:30Speaker 2: Always trying to talk about our things.
- 17:31Speaker 3: But it's not even so much, it's not even so
- 17:32Speaker 3: much of that.
- 17:33Speaker 1: It's like, I just want to ask you that.
- 17:34Speaker 2: Dead it.
- 17:34Speaker 1: Dead it.
- 17:35Speaker 2: Dead it.
- 17:36Speaker 5: It's just even a situation of just like, hey man,
- 17:38Speaker 5: we have this conversation all the time.
- 17:40Speaker 2: Do we even want to be open this way?
- 17:42Speaker 1: You know what though? You have to be.
- 17:43Speaker 3: We didn't say exactly what we wanted. Right.
- 17:47Speaker 2: I do think you have to be grace. We do
- 17:48Speaker 2: that all the time.
- 17:49Speaker 5: When we don't give each other the exact definition of
- 17:51Speaker 5: what we wanted and something happened, we.
- 17:53Speaker 3: Always like, hey, sorry for this.
- 17:55Speaker 5: Sorry for this. You know, sorry for the assumption. Let's
- 17:57Speaker 5: correct it. And that's what I'm really focused on. You
- 17:59Speaker 5: wanted to open. You didn't specify how you wanted to open.
- 18:02Speaker 3: All right, cool. I fucked up.
- 18:05Speaker 1: Cool. How about this? We don't got to talk about
- 18:07Speaker 1: can you send a bitch money. You know I ain't
- 18:09Speaker 1: want you to send that bitch money.
- 18:09Speaker 3: But you can also step back and be like, okay, cool.
- 18:11Speaker 3: You want to open. You want to do this. I'm
- 18:12Speaker 3: still talking to this person. You know what I'll do
- 18:14Speaker 3: for you? I will move back. I will no longer
- 18:16Speaker 3: engage her. If you want us to engage with her,
- 18:18Speaker 3: you will handle that. Oh, we'll do it together. If
- 18:20Speaker 3: you truthfully still want this.
- 18:21Speaker 1: I love this advice. I think this is three different
- 18:24Speaker 1: pieces of advice. Normally, you only get two. So tell
- 18:27Speaker 1: us what you think in the comments. You can only
- 18:28Speaker 1: leave a comment if you're on our Patreon community. Also,
- 18:31Speaker 1: check out this week's episode of Horrible Decisions because it
- 18:33Speaker 1: was so juicy. It was so good that I want
- 18:35Speaker 1: to make sure we have them back with Mandy so
- 18:36Speaker 1: we can talk all the kinky and dirty shit. We
- 18:39Speaker 1: talked for about an hour and a half and this
- 18:41Speaker 1: bitch just said, oh, actually, we brought a third on
- 18:44Speaker 1: our honeymoon.
- 18:45Speaker 4: Yeah.
- 18:45Speaker 3: Where the fuck was that at, bitch?
- 18:46Speaker 1: When you was over here talking about your doctorate and
- 18:48Speaker 1: shit and being a hoe.
- 18:49Speaker 2: Yeah. All the things. I mean, it's a busy world.
- 18:52Speaker 2: Welcome to our busy world. Go and run.
- 18:54Speaker 1: Check that episode. I'm only rushing them because they have
- 18:57Speaker 1: a dinner reservation and I just don't want them to
- 18:58Speaker 1: get mad at me. I want to convince them to
- 19:00Speaker 1: come back and spend more time with us. Thank you
- 19:02Speaker 1: guys so much. We'll see you next Wednesday.
- 19:04Speaker 2: Thank you.