Latest / WarHams - Narrative Declaration / A Chaos Odyssey - Ep. 12 - Betrayal

Transcript

A Chaos Odyssey - Ep. 12 - Betrayal · WarHams - Narrative Declaration

• How can we attack them? How can we kill the conflagration? Are you like this Chaos Camaro, Evgeny? Did you just want to play Battlefleet Gothic? Evgeny! This is a trap! There's something wrong here! Why is the relish in Chicago blue? I know the music's gonna turn on, so watch your ears as I- What do you mean, blue? The relish is fucking blue! It's just like a bright green. No, it's like blue! I don't- Where did you get this relish? Poki, are you colorblind? You're blue now. That's my attack. It's a blue-green. No, it's green. It's just like a really neon green. It's not blue! It's green! It's not neon! I'm green! Fucking bitch! I'm green! Okay, hold on. I need to help Hulky with this. Do you see blue here? Yeah, what the fuck, Hulky? yeah it's green relish with the yellow background he is he's saying chicago relish is blue hulky might just be secretly japanese what are you talking about what are you talking about in japan in japan the colors blue and green are like there's like an element of interchangeability between them hulky that's green anchors it's it's it's looking blue because of the sport peppers and the pickle and you can because of the pickle pal yeah there's like a now that's like like light source and it's being reflected off the fucking no it's always blue it's always blue it's not green no i think you're crazy hulky it's a it's a chicago specialty that makes it neon green jolly rancher green it's not good for you it's literally you can buy jars of shit from the Vienna company there it is you can buy jars of fucking anything Erndil that's how mercantile culture works I'm gonna shove a flashlight up your ass and watch your eyes glow happy pride I'm so glad that I'm done screaming at strangers now I get to it's okay this time you get paid for it it feels bad i know and now i can take a break from bad things happening in the world to having bad things happening in a video game and now i can have bad things happen to my role-playing character don't worry don't worry by zante is gonna be okay because we're taking evgeny to the poop factory that is not going to impact my happiness but he's going to see the chocolate here and he's going to see how he makes poop speaker i would it make you feel any better if i told you that would have been my third compiler on no actually it would make no hulky i i gotta tell you there's an irrational part of me that is frothing fucking furious at you and luma for having the temerity to have gotten multiple compilers or i've been sitting here and i don't have a single one that's true yeah no i i can't no i can't i'm not actually mad but there's a part of me that's like oh no i would be fucking pissed too i was before i got my first clear there's a part of me that's like oh i want to get all the compiler skins oh my god wow oh i just went to those people that lost all of all of your good shit yesterday by fucking up when you didn't uh and oh we got another compiler skin that's so i'm so happy for you no exactly you've done nothing wrong i'm gonna fuck you fucking tell me about this for another second i'm gonna fucking lose my shit i'm gonna i'm gonna turn all your relish blue hey easy it's okay it's okay okay it's okay we're going after the show after the show we'll go back there luckily you've got plenty of time left in the season speaker so yeah i've got plenty of minutes left in the season yes you have to play the last minute as we record you see if you can get one more w before the load up mid-session hulking come on no it is now time we are now starting i hope everybody is ready and if you're not raise the flag now because we're back with another exciting episode of warhams a chaos odyssey i'll beat your ass is what i'll do i just so you know my mind went into that panic of did i say it wrong again wait no it's the hulk he's just being he's just gaslighting you he's gaslighting you hulky and speaker are attempting to bring everybody into their rage bait yeah they they every everybody starts this right one bad game and marathon does this to a man when you let it happen Zoran step into my crucible the noosphere of this chat right now is just like it's repugnant it's awful but that's just an odyssey a chaos odyssey I gotta get out of here thanks for watching hey Odo let's go into the other channel where we do our Warhammer podcast oh yeah yeah of course but of course welcome everyone to another we had a bunch of random stuff happen apparently it was all just improv and out of our asses so good job everyone good job good job for everyone good job good job yeah continuing that theme today exactly i think things that happened last time we were all returned to the carcass and talked about thor who was more concerned about our dear human than anybody else there's you know beth i'll just just messed up feet nearly gone in which you're welcome by the way i save your books now it doesn't have to be replaced with dirty metal um and so of course you know that all of that started getting healed up because of your transhuman physiology or however you say the word um and so that they all began to head over to the helm because they saw the conflagration I probably said that wrong again they were in orbit planning to bombard the location where they need to, where their nemesis is and where they need to go and beat his ass and of course they can either rush there quickly and try to get in there before the shells land and the full bombardment begins in that area or what our crew decided to do was talk to them and every time we talked to them it was the most expensive call ever of throwing people in a pit for them to make a call well they had to do that we didn't we almost did but we don't have that infrastructure and of course some tense negotiations were had and we are now leaving the exit of it where I believe Thurston we are heading to to where you get Cephas in New Guinea or potentially I believe heading somewhere yeah we're gonna do that um before we start though the the camera the camera cuts to um the lower decks of the carcass where a vast line of humans um file towards some unseen location small child is in the line looking around with wide eager eyes oh oh i'm so happy we've been chosen for something great i can't wait oh i wonder what the lords above have in store for us oh oh i'm an x card you it's a young man it's true it's true and and and and this this carries on for some time as is the is the people here are loaded onto transports um with that we cut back up well you have transports to load it's a very slow ferrying speaker we have like an arvis lighter like we're moving them through the arvis lighters no no no you have those military you have those big fat military transports yeah true and you were brought up the camera returns now to Evgeny who walks into the chapel, a profaned location on board the carcass. Shall I, Thurston? Yeah, followed very shortly by Cephas, who is trailing, but Cephas walks a bit slower than he'd get. Yes. The chapel in question is almost like carved out of what would probably have been a spare room at some point, because there are probably many many chapels for all kinds of worship of the other gods aboard the ship and this one having been carved out and there are more aligned menials in here who specifically wish to devote themselves to nurgle all in various states of prayer flagellation or just doing something obscene out of view while everything is hacking and wheezing and there are sensors just gently swaying in the area, and as the two of us approach the area, the chapel, the shrine, uh, Lucetrix arrives at the door and greets uh, you, Evgeny, as well as Cephas. Brother Vendigast, welcome, welcome to my humble little rotten crevice of our great vessel. Has he decided to join us, Lord? No, Attendant. I have brought him here because he is angry, he is furious, and I will hear his displeasure laid bare. Then there will be a discussion. Is that correct, Yevgeny? I think that would be fair to say, my lord. I think that's a great understatement, given our current circumstances. Uh, Lucitrix will just kind of look, she looks a little crestfallen, her hood's a little further back at this point, you can see more of her face, she's got like a busted looking cybernetic, and her other eye is just like a permanent looking eight ball fracture. She doesn't, she looks about as fucked up as you'd imagine she does, and she just steps aside and allows you to go forward. Ah, understood, Lord. You are, of course, welcome to our shrine, brother. Please, tell him to me your woes. I would happily hear your words. Spill your guts. I've seen a great many things in my time, Lucidrix. I've done terrible, horrible things to my fellow man. Day in, week out, year over year in service of something greater. And even in the wake of having all of that ripped away, the veil lifted from my eyes, told that I could serve something even greater still, that I could earn my freedom amid all of that. still I am greeted with the same glib tossing of men into the grinder for nothing again and not even those who sensibly deserve it those who had a chance to learn to make something of themselves to seize their own freedom no the very ones the worshippers who stand at beck and call for any of the wiles of our four ceramite-clad gentlemen here, or any of the other Adeptus Sestatis on the ship, or those blessed by the ruinous powers that they are. No, the adherents who thought that they might have gained something better by eschewing the ties to the Imperium that they had just tossed away. Quite literally were ferrying them onto boats to be tossed into a great pit to burn in service to some knuckle-dragging slaughter lord, just burning them for the sake of burning. Ones who don't even personally, I don't think they even grasp the cause that they're fighting for. They've lost the heart. There are worlds of people that could be saved. Ones who could be given the chance to cast that yoke off. They think, oh, the battle's already lost. No, it's the constant, it's the every ounce of faith lost drags them further back onto their knees and yet who do they punish who do they scour the souls of but those who have already been embraced and saved yet more manpower that could be spent on the battlefield or tending to those who are fighting this well in all honesty I can't call it a good fight but a better fight than the one they were fighting for You know, you understand what I'm saying. It doesn't make sense. Yes, it's chaos, but it's foolish. It's wasteful. And I don't get it. What's the point? What's the point of dying and spending all these lives? If at the end of the day, it's the exact same thing with a different shade of paint. What's there to gain? I don't get it, Lucy. I don't get it. I fail to understand. I would really, genuinely appreciate some additional clarity. Yes, I get it. It's like, oh, it's part and parcel of all of this. I just, why? Why bother at all? Cephas will walk further into the chapel, past a number of the menials, presently mortificating themselves with various implements or whatnot, lost in some kind of nurglish fervor, as Lucitrix will walk with you, presumably, if you enter in. And he'll sit down on what looks like a very basic stone plinth, like a sizable one, like a space marine sized one, not just like a bar stool. And he will just lean forward for a moment as he considers you. I have some questions I would ask you, Evgeny. In the grand scale of the world we inhabit, what metrics do you believe we operate on? And I understand you will see this as glib or callous, but genuinely, this is an existence we inhabit where people die in their millions, billions, almost every day across the entirety of the galaxy. This is not to downplay the expenditure of life, as you have so put it. but my question to you is what numbers do you believe to be working within as a lone man with four marines and a woeful little attendant Evgeny considers Zephys' inquiry just a moment the numbers yes I understand I'm sorry if I'm caught up in my own passion We do need to spend lives to make progress. Yes, I get that. And naturally, one has to break a few million eggs to make some kind of grander omelette. But if you're going to spend them, why not just raid a world full of, I don't know, those still devout to the Imperial Creed, the ones who you can't save the ones who won't see reason or that they're blinded by their own faith why those who already have well not quite like say Lucetrix who willingly spent her life in service of the cause but those who think that they're still working towards that not necessarily and again he pauses considering for a moment the fact that they are even caught from a different cloth on the opposite side of the coin still devoted to giving their life and their effort to something greater is it really all there is is it just another form of hope that you have the same people who would throw the themselves into the grinder is it just whatever we do in our time that makes us worthy of any life more worth saving than another what's the point at at which we draw the line of who to save and who to kill, or who to let die, I suppose. I can answer that. Sure, sure. I will answer that with a question first. What opinion do you believe I hold about our compiers, my brothers, Lucitrix, the menials I have decreed go to the Great Conflagration? Do you believe, what do you believe feel about them those lesser than us if it's anything based on what you said in the past i'd be inclined to believe that they were meant to go anyway and if any one of us should fall in combat or should be sent to the conflagration it was simply fated to be not good nor sad but but just a simple fact of life. Is that fair to say, sir? What you speak of is apathy, a disinterest, a lack of care for those who I am committing as a resource for this endeavor, because in truth, they are a resource to be spent, and they are the resources we have. We have manpower, and we have time, And in spending either, we propel ourselves forward, one day after another. In truth, Evgeny, I find life as beautiful as death. Certainly, I exist to sow death, destruction, despoliation. But I cherish life. It is the audacity of life to stand in opposition to death that stirs something within me. Pride for being alive. Yet, in truth, as I have related to you, life and death are simply two different portions of Nurgle's great wheel. In life, you climb with it to its apex, and are then in turn ground underneath it in death. In death comes life, and life begets death. It is as complex a mechanism as it is simple. Every life I have encountered, I have in some way cherished. It is all gorgeous, stunning, and hopeful, and like death, inevitable. In time, you will die. Lucitrix shall die. My brothers shall die. I will die. I will mourn them all, should they pass before I do. Because I cherish life as much as I cherish death. But life goes on. Chaos is the freedom to commit one's endeavors how you see fit. The only thing it does not control is the reality of one's situation. if tomorrow for example you were to be expected to be slain by me for one reason or another it is your decision to resist i would not expect you to lay there and let me execute you if you chose to i would accept it as much as i would also accept you raising your rifle to me in defiance the outcome however is not based on your will or your wishes or your wants but your position and your skill in the event i am to kill you i would likely succeed but you could win what happens then is up to fate and in serving chaos itself you are granted the freedom to rebel against a seemingly appointed fate under the corpse emperor however you are expected to appreciate your lot in life in service to the great leech your individual freedoms are pushed aside for the good of the emperor if you're a bell in the imperium simply put you are considered to be wrong in chaos you do what you need to i believe that is clear is it not i think so though they may be fated to go to the conflagration they may rebel we could send them over there and they could overpower their lords would it happen odds are no it is their freedom to do so they threw their lives to us willingly or otherwise and now it is up to fate to see what happens doesn't care what you want to do only that you have the option to do just that if you want to waste your life then that is your choice but it is neither good nor bad it simply is you begin to see I think I I think so I think I understand a little bit more I think I appreciate you a little bit more Cephas I think you're one of the between you and Bethael certainly the less dynamic or willing to throw one's life away immediately but I think you really do in a certain way I think I understand Nurgle a lot better now it doesn't mean I'm going to you know take the poxes or take some rusty lance and I carve its symbol into my skin, but I think it makes a bit more sense. I thank you for at least hearing me out amid my mania. The image in my mind of Lucitrix hearing you saying that, and then just being like slowly putting down a really rusty, jagged knife, like, Oh, right, I did. Very good. I did not come down here to proselytize to you. I am here to speak for chaos, broadly. whatever decision you make for whoever you choose to go with if any at all know that you cannot make a wrong choice I may believe that in the end everything goes to Nurgle life and death as I have said but it is your decision to make make it as you wish and make the choice I shall we should probably reconvene and figure out our next steps much as I They may understand why so many are going to the conflagration. It doesn't mean I want to stand around and see or hear them moving there, too. As you say. Come. We wasted enough time down here. There is much to actually accomplish this day. Lucitrix, pull yourself together, please. You are making a mockery of your usual foul candor. Ah, very well. I shall get redressed and prepare again we must return to our brothers hey and with that you make your way back to the strategium where the gaggle of marines your companions watch as in the distance you can see a lone orange thunderhawk making a return journey on autopilot far out, enhanced by the sensorium array of the vessel and the detrub transport far off in the distance. I raise my hand. Game master. Yes? May I propose a scheme? I mean, yes. I look to my friends. Friends, friends, may I propose a scheme? What's the scheme? Honestly, I was thinking about doing some scheming myself. Of course you two are scheming We all look up As the game master's looking over The 40k table And we're like, hold on champ We all huddle It's a Battlefleet Gothic table There's like a Battlefleet Gothic table For the ships, but there's like a side kill team Thing for the bridge He's ready for us to fight Yeah I would like to propose This is out of character all right just to do this so we get through this quickly uh i would like to do something to the passengers so when they go on to the ship itself basically my thought process is to do a fun zingian ritual with prometheum though where they all drink a bit of prometheum that can stay in their bodies and then after a certain amount of time pretty much hopefully time to where they're long gone by this point that they all burst into blue flames to begin to infest the other blue flame or the other flames that are on the ship and begin to turn into a zegian fireball something close to that that's what i would like to do like he sees a trojan horse and he wants to take advantage of it to just wipe these guys off the map in a very subverted way which might be asking for way too much but i think it would be fun that's one of my schemes what do you guys got i have i have a question if i may yes sir when we send over our agreed trade in exchange for a thunderhawk and a chain hammer aboard it for uh bethiel when we send them these guys and one of those cruisers presumably gets loaded with like 10 000 people that all burst into sudden blue Flames. What is the game plan after that? I mean, I mean, saying they should be long gone by this point, that's one thing of the timer of it. See, to me, I'd like the spirit and indeed I had actually figured, you know, making like a poison pill, like maybe getting a a Nurgle plague if Cephas was so interested. Like, that could be fun. But what I would like to ask Thurston, because if you recall, after the meeting, Byzantium ran off laughing and cackling into the depths of the ship again. Correct. Is there any possibility that... when does the Thunderhawk arrive before or after the shuttle departs I assume it's timed so they roughly hit each other equidistantly if we really want to get into the fucking particulars of timing we can but know that they're probably going to be far more wary of you in terms of some betrayal because they are also gas based marines that makes a lot of sense so i had a couple of different ideas in my head i for instance i thought about maybe setting up to where uh oh our troop transport is really slow uh can we maybe park it up nearby you and then taking the opportunity to all ahead full but all of these things require the full a set of my warband and I think I think they're not into that I think at the very least how things have gone have kind of we've sort of played our cards here a little bit you know and we sort of have to live with what we've done and what we've been dealt that being said is there any chance that I could be aboard the transport hello Are we trading you now? We're sent by the Entity out into space. This is the longest fucking PSYOP to take a ship. To get a ship with a full combat. I have ever fucking seen. Did you just want to play a battle with Gothic? I was... I'm gonna be honest with you guys. I was content. I was sitting here content to be like, alright. We fostered some positivity with another warband. That's great. Everyone else how can we attack them how can we kill the conflagration how can we have a hero point because you're just saying you're just speaking from the heart you're speaking from my heart right now like you know what yes I do believe that ultimately you're right I do believe ultimately pursuing this the like it's not it's not how i or by zancy would have liked it to go but it is how things have gone it seems as if we've talked ourselves into trading armenials for this very well here's my second scheme oh no are you ready yes yeah yeah i'm gonna go tell the doctor funny enough my plan also involved the doctor because i was gonna have him help me concoct the drinking thing and i do ritual stuff to it sorry you guys were you guys were the ones who like were most on board with this and now you're going to go and tattle i was not on board with this Hang on a second You're going to tattle to the doctor Because it didn't go your way I'm going to throw a rock at you Well I might have some other plans In mind Aren't we just evil little scamps Alright Fuck the ship Fuck the transport I could come up with some Well no no no Don't fuck the thunderhawk No that's ours the arrangement is settled but I would like to talk to the apothecary okay I'm scared can such things be arranged can such things be arranged yeah they can be arranged absolutely I would like to propose that as he's talking to apothecary I would like to narratively declare as Lifos was heading to the ship you know last episode with his data slate uh i was thinking about this today i was like hmm he's been in my head for a bit um that he had already made preparations to make this happen and that's why he wasn't there uh he was he was a bit delayed on getting up there with everyone that he was already making that's why he was like oh let's just sacrifice them you know that's why he pushed for it he's like i have a plan a plan within plan the zetian plans okay okay so to clarify have you done your your blue fire on board the endless conflagration ships plan uh if you allow me yes the i mean certainly i will i will allow you to narratively declare that you attempted this this this potent ritual yes excellent thank you then yes basically basically is or the details to clarify is a select few folks have pretty much you know either with the work of the uh our apothecary or not uh he has enchanted promethean for them to drink it it's like oh you shall now be blessed to descend to zingian's ranks and blah blah and the whole thing you're getting you're getting a bit ahead of yourself um convincing your particular apothecary to get mortals to drink um yes to drink engine oil might be a very difficult uh task given would you like to be a conflict where he finds out well well well i mean if we know one thing about uh apothecary valthor drask it's that he deeply cares about his humans more than he cares about his astartes apologize if my tone's not being brought in i wanted to be cooperative with it to be like oh yeah if we can just get him out and make him to where he's like pissed off if he finds out like i'm down for it whatever and then oh yeah yeah sorry sorry sorry but the way but the way you said it was like he like correct me if i'm wrong that he was in on this ritual that was i don't think he'd be on the road that was the proposition uh because if not i'm okay with just taking him out of the deal i want i'm working with you on it we're cooking here we probably have to role play that out that's uh yeah yeah that's what i'm saying here's the situation here's the stage how do we want to go through it that's what i'm doing okay so the question is is knowing what you know about him would you approach him about this plan in that context no i would not i would do it okay okay there we go okay okay okay just making sure that that's what i want to talk about it's good worth the talk about it yeah i'm sorry i'm trying to be an evil asshole i apologize why are you apologizing man you're fine you're fine i'm literally just warning you that you're and reminding you in case you forgot your apothecary kind of loves humans more than he loves uh transhumans i will i will point out and i'm not i'm not going i'm not using this an opportunity to poo-poo you at all, Zoran. I believe that in this situation we all do what we want to do, you know? If you want to do a thing where you set 10,000 people on fire to set a ship on fire, like, that's, you are welcome to do that. And I think that would be very funny for Lifos to do that as Lifos. I will point out, if you're saying that you want to prepare this ahead of time and then set the entire boat on fire, it is very funny to do that it's like uh we have we have created uh a potential in with the great conflagration or whatever uh now they hate us now they're mad was he just plants don't necessarily have to be coherent is the long play i i get what you're saying but the thing in my mind is that all the fun you know explosion like infection of their flames kind of stuff happens long after they're gone like not like right now I understand but this is kind of one of those plans where like I'm gonna probably like if you wanted my approval for it I'm gonna say do what you want to do I wouldn't personally approve of it but if you want to do it then you should do it his thought process is mostly that uh with the conversations that they had the yes uh last time that sorry it was like it was like it was yesterday uh he's out for himself like for some of the stuff he's like i'm i'm here to use what i can to get the power that i need to to get the things going so if he if he can potentially see a future where burning these guys in their own ironic way grants him step forward in his plans that's what he's thinking if that makes sense plans upon plans for plans of these things but of course if someone's like in our group going hey i really would appreciate if you don't do this i'll change minds if that's the vibe i'm getting here by zanti would if you bro broach this in character i think uh many of us would have in character objections but if this is something that you would do like or like begin to cement independent of that i i think that we are all amused by the idea um at least in some way and so if you really wanted to commit to it and the consequences of it it is your uh it is your casket to bury and yes i am okay with the consequences in fact since our apothecary will be a bit upset if they found out uh i i'll obviously try to do it convertly no the best i can to be like okay let me see if this plan works if it doesn't oh we just have some surprises in lower decks or you'll remove it later or something that's the plan so far is to uh do the ritual they drink some liquid prometheum stuff that could hold in for them for a good while it's like a time bomb you know if they get thrown into the fire very quickly you know the fire the zingian fire starts corrupting their flames starts turning the whole ship into a zingian thing either converts it to zing whatever happens there whatever whichever the goal is to do a zingian thing to gain power and again uh upper hand in the grand game in his eyes hopefully all right way after those guys are gone yeah um oh no so so um i've been spending a little time just quickly researching um researching rituals in black crusade yes pretty cool um so there's a couple things that need to happen for ritual one um you're gonna have to make a couple tests typically um there's a couple different tests you're gonna have to to to do in order to concoct a ritual like this um usually that's going to be a lore skill um kind of like demonology or the like um and then that is going to be followed up with potentially um some kind of of cost now how and then if you fail the lore skill there's a potential failure state to this so i'm gonna say that in some some ways what you're essentially attempting to do is summon zinches fire into these individuals um so that i think is going to be a demonology check uh which i think you have yes um cool i'm gonna go through some of the rituals here um you you are gonna get um you you are marked as inch so so that's gonna give you a bonus of 30 right off the bat yay um however um yeah no no no in fact that's that's gonna be the first part is gonna be that so uh give me give me a check at plus uh it's gonna actually be balanced out though because these are um these are slightly hard uh so this will be at a plus 20 only you're gonna take a minus 10 to the to the check absolutely so plus 20 overall may i uh spend some infamy to give it a plus 10 you could spend yeah one of your infamy points session to do that plus 10 absolutely we'll bring it back up to a 30 i'm looking for four five six seven looking for 75 pleasings don't fail me now uh 33 five degrees of success okay okay so well done that ritual will be successful now as with other rituals um i will require you and this is very common for most of the rituals that you can find in the book um there are there are costs associated with them um the cost in this case is I need you to roll on the psychic phenomenon table with a plus 20 to the He's going to summon Zinj's fire and Scarbrand Yeah So fucking funny If Thurston was like yeah you can do that and then you just instantly explode No we interrupt the entire session just for my bullshit to get deleted from the campaign one day 100 plus 20 is that correct yep all right let's see what it is uh that is 47 which i think uh the second phenomena i have it here as well uh blood tears is that right yeah that's right yeah blood tears blood weeps from stone and wood within 3d 10 meters of the psyker if there are any pictures or statues of people inside this arena they appear to be crying blood i will roll that so a little love 12 around me okay all right so um that is that is exactly what i think would happen as you are convincing these people to drink this prometheum um the statues start weeping blood the people around are very very much enthralled they think they're being chosen um this is a very this is a very uh momentous occasion um there there are some other things that occur here so just give me oh, one sec here I'm just gonna pull up the old ritual again Catering my tea Cause, yeah yeah, it's fine, it's fine, right? It's fine It's fine Alright Um, okay I want you finally to roll me 1d 100 flat sure will 15 perfect okay so you managed to concoct this this ritual of expansive fire in secret managing as your companions are arguing on the strategium deck prior to this entire affair you managed to convince several of the crew to be prepared to be handed over providing them this corrupt substance um this grants you a measure of favor in the eyes of your um so I would like you to roll me the page correctly I would like you to roll me 1d5, please. Sure thing, sure thing. Here you go, sir. That is a one. You gained one infamy. Dang it. Things are fucking stingy today. In fairness, he is surrounded by a lot of blue fire. All right. And with that, you've prepared them. and so we cut we snap back to present as Evgeny and Cephas return to the bridge so are we shuffling all these poor hapless souls over to the conflagration are we is that it so it would seem it's the way it must be now are we prepared to actually make our move upon the dark apostle which was our initial goal oh i i did still want to meet with the the apothecary yeah that's fine we'll just it's okay we'll continue on i'll talk to him about it later okay um i know you kind of ran off so did you want to come back to the strategic or did you want to go there and i i'm okay with you having the scene personally it's okay at this i'm cool with that are you guys sure yeah take it yeah it's what you wanted to do i i've already railroaded us for my stupid shit you do your stupid shit excellent thank you i i appreciate that it's like we're we're all evil chaos people wanting to do their things you've got a fun playing you do it you gave me the grace all right you get the grace so after um by zante has been uh after the whole kerfuffle of last session by zante is going to go down and uh he's going to go uh to seek out the apothecary. Yeah, you make your way towards the Medicaid section where you find the ministrating Valthor Drask, the true son, who's currently studying over several data slates and instructing various servitors, attending to some of the menials in the area. Oh, Valthor, woe and misery. What do you mean? and befuddle these reprobates, that Zetian, that Nurglite. He holds up his hand. I don't have more drugs for you. I'm not seeking drugs. I'm seeking commiseration. i know of your obsession and i figured in my ennui you may wish to join me brother leave it to a son of the third to overindulge in words speak plainly i'm very sad valthor drask what do you mean i'm sad and angered that the charges on this ship are used so callously you haven't heard no that postulantial fool cephis that skull-faced sorceress knave they undercut my negotiations with the war band you know the one with three cruisers full of self-immolating fiends no i don't know i've been in the medicaid no one tells me anything i understand we don't have very good communication between our most valued members do you mean that yes okay good i'm i i of course i'm saying it in a certain way to get a a particular point but if i didn't think this guy was valuable i would not be talking to him right now all right well out with it then hey speaker yeah give me a willpower test yeah i knew i knew that if i was a cockwomble about it you would succeed look i said nothing last session and he couldn't fucking make a single one that does bring a smile to my face thank you Thurston for boiling my blood slightly I got you, you gave me the power I needed that's right, good Cephis and Lycthus two individuals that might consider themselves to be among the best of us they've callously thrown away an entire shuttle of menials to the predations of the conflagration. They have traded the lives of several of Armenians, several thousand of Armenians for a thunderhawk and taken me completely out of negotiations. Utilizing psychic trickery, they are to be burned alive. What? What do you mean? Oh, yes. A shipment of our men are being sent to be nothing more than kindling, and it is being done because I could not be present. I could not be allowed to lead the warband. He walks towards one of the storage containers, opens it, draws a bolter, and starts to walk out. No, no, brother! No, brother! He turns. What? What are you intending to do? To go to the bridge and get answers? No. Do you think that Zinchean snake and that mewling postulantial boil are going to speak straight to you? The Nurg-like lives in filth. He cares not for the lives of your charges. You see how he is when one of his own die, and he lacks your sensitivity to the mortal condition. Do you believe he will give you any sort of kind answer? And lie, Thoth, that grinning skull! He'll tell you anything you want to hear, just to see you dance to his tune. If he doesn't like the words coming from your mouth, he'll wipe your mind of this and make you forget you were upset in the first place, brother. The sea green armor with its red eye lenses kind of beams at you for a moment. Oh, no. I wasn't gonna go ask them. I'm going to go ask Evgeny. Yes. Evgeny would be the one to ask. Had he not just recently been taken into Cephas's embrace? Oh, you fucking snake. You bitch! Oh, shit! I haven't seen her the entire time, I'm like, yay! Yay! Wee! Sorry. T'thank. T'thank. I was gonna get something for ya after all this. You slimy fuck! Keep going. Keep going, I'm curious. I keep going! Yeah, yeah, yeah. Even now, Evgeny has been sequestered to the side of Cephas. Not because he did not approve, or because he approved of this. this no he spoke passionately with great fervor that inspired even my two beating hearts but has taken him to his chamber and now the poor man is likely dulled and annulled and exhausted willing to simply let this be a forgotten memory because he could do nothing to stop it neither could i and neither can you okay so why did you tell me because verthor i understand obsession my god is that which touches all things for all things care and are and strive I do not want a repeat of this incident, and I believe in the coming years, in the coming months, perhaps even in the coming days, it will be necessary to appoint of this ship to stock its wings with thunderhawks and men. You know me, Balfour Drask. You know I am a cruel man. You know I am a reckless man. And you know I am a ruthless man. But you also know that I am not a wasteful man. I come here in the spirit of Warmaster Horus. Balfour Drask, were I to make a bid to be Warmaster of the Carcass, would you support me? And can I make a charm test? you can make a charm test at a minus ten okay I will spend an infamy okay infamous oh shit that's five degrees of failure Vathor Drask approaches you each step booming as he like reaches in front his frame roughly like with parity to yours he looks through his eye lenses at you I only serve one Warmaster. Now get out. I'm disgusted with the lot of you. I respect your decision, Balthor- Out! There will come a time. We are not finished here. And I leave. Mm-hmm. With that, manage to return to the Strategeum shortly after Cephas and Evgeny have now returned. The pips on the sort of overlay hololithic display your transport moving towards their fleet. And then the return image of the, not one, but two Thunderhawks making their way towards your vessel. Now that's a good sight. That makes me very happy. What are you doing? I presume we are preparing to actually go and deal with the objective. I thought you were asking speaker. No, yeah, I'm kind of leaving it open to the group now, so, yeah. Oh, okay. Yeah, Bethael is going to be close to where he knows the Thunderhawks are going to be landing, and he is going to be pacing. Um, as everybody is splitting off, taking the moment to just kind of be as alone as he can be while awaiting the arrival of these Thunderhawks. Yeah, um, the Thunderhawks, as they approach, they, they, the autopilots split them off into two different embarkation decks. So, are you going to split up to greet each of them? What's the plan? uh knowing where his compatriots are splitting off to or not necessarily knowing but having an idea he's gonna go to whichever one is furthest okay how about the rest of you uh Cephas would probably be going along with to ensure that they are keeping up their end of the bargain okay so going with Bethael to the one uh are all of you just gonna join Bethael and inspect the one no i'm uh i'm definitely going to inspect whichever one um like i i definitely want us to inspect both of them so i will if everyone's going to one i will inspect another basically okay one of those things such work is beneath him he lets the tech priest do it make sure there's nothing wrong with these i will dispatch servitors to investigate remotely Evgeny will go and inspect the Thunderhawks as well. With which group? The Cephas Bethael crew or the Byzante crew? The Byzante crew. Perfect. Hey. Hey, friends. Evgeny! Evgeny, my friend. Yes, Thurston, my most peerless GM. can you can you read this quote for me perhaps i would love to thank you pain is an illusion of the senses despair an illusion of the mind an assassin proverb um by zante and beth i l can you both roll me 1d 100s you got it i suppose i can that's gonna be a 34 that's It's going to be a five. Oh, my God. In this game, lower is better. So Bethael, we'll go with you first. You see the orange-hued Thunderhawk come down. Automated, it lands into the embarkation deck. The side hatches, the pneumatic seals on them opening immediately, and the hatches opening, the rear hatch descending. located on the rear hatch as you sort of peer in you can see that there is a single chain hammer that has been fastened down onto three of the chairs it actually spans across three of these starry sized chairs it has been well fastened and is of good craftsmanship good craftsmanship okay so it's a little better not like not not not not like not like in a mechanical sense no no no just like in a in a like this is a serviceable weapon it is not like any any it's not better than the prior one pat but it is certainly the same as the prior one yeah yeah i will add that back in yeah beth i'll will pick it up kind of test the weight in his hand and turn it over, uh, as Cephas has been approaching, he has been, uh, conspicuously silent as it's been going on, just kind of turns this chain hammer over in his hand, uh, casts a quick glance back to Cephas and puts it on his back. There is one part. Let us inspect to make sure that they have not added any further unexpected gifts. i know little of these machines but i will check for traps uh can cephas try to flag down any like crew nearby who are able to inspect a vehicle like this some of edelthar scourge's um servitors are already beginning the analysis you can see them remotely starting to to check the interior bionics are hissing uh as as they go up and down and review everything i do not have tech use that's not good oh now the question is what was that 91 for that's a good question the servitor the servitor simply begins to blurt in by narik and then edelfar scourge his voice sort of crackles back over the comm unit. Excellent, excellent! I have uncovered that this and the hockeys have decent quality. It would not be the most impressive unit, but it is serviceable much better than the prior, comparable to the one that was utilized prior to your meeting with Yevgeny. That will suffice. Cephas is naturally, he's a little wary of this, because, was he, is he aware that there are two? Oh yeah, you both, you both saw that there were two. I'm curious why they sent a second one. One typically does not send a Trojan horse along with an actual gift, separately. who knows perhaps they really needed the shipment we gave them perhaps it was a miscalculation we cut to Evgeny and Byzantium uh oh we cut to Evgeny and Byzantium on a different embarkation deck again a very similar situation the Thunderhawk lands this time the side hatches kind of pop down Well, I suppose we might as well see what we burnt all those people to a crisp for, eh, Evgeny? Yeah. Burnt to a crisp, sir. Oh, yes. Very painful. Byzantium licking his lips. I thought Evgeny was fine for just a moment of just wanting, already knows the answer, so he's not gonna waste the breath-masking. Basanti, do you get off the idea of just murdering these horrible people for no reason? Alright. And just bracing for a response, oh, yes, which ways would you like me to describe that to you? Just a little high, I'm fucking pissed at it. It's going, isn't that motherfucker such a motherfucker? Is it him? Oh, he's so terrible, right? Billy, Billy? Don't you just hate him? don't you just hate him so much wow isn't it great we killed all those innocent people and sent them to die because they wanted to for this cool car did you like this chaos Camaro did you like doing that you feel you feel good cause I do I feel so good I'm going to go use the bathroom now and then I'm going to wash my hands I think I chose the wrong side no man I know ever uses the bathroom after washing his hands you're a fucking villain I just love the feeling of hot water on my hands that's what Slamet is all about you know chaos might not be that bad I think they're lying to us guys it's true it's true anyway yes sir really was worth the trade I guess can you just pop that door let me get in there I've walked on a couple ships in my time I might be able to give it a once over at least in lieu of what it could be booby trapped and then we'd have one more mortal ride to a crisp And you're my favorite one. And you're my favorite booby, Seth. Thank you. I almost called you Cephas, but you are a bit rotten to your core, aren't you? Not at all. In fact, I'm disappointed that you would even think such a thing. And then I'm going to enter into the Thunderhawk. Yeah, okay. You come in through the side hatch, sort of narrow down. The lumens in here are on, like, low level lighting um there's like the compartment that goes into the back where the the crew like the crew is it um or sorry not the crew the the sort of um the contents would sit and then the crew is sort of up to the front uh both of them are are currently pat um blocked off by by closed doors the the path to the crew are closed by uh yeah closed doors the cockpit the cockpit and Cockpit. Okay, my apologies. I was like, what? Sorry, I had a brief stroke there. No, it's okay. I also did. I will walk up. I want to inspect the cockpit. I'm not exactly a tech priest, but I certainly can do a once-over to take a look with my Auspex for any hidden surprises here. Sure, you can give me an awareness test. Give me a minus 20. Okie dokie. with my Auspex that becomes a plus 10 and I do get to reroll. That's a 15 for 5 degrees of success. Cool. Evgeny, what are you doing? So Evgeny does have a couple skills that might be usable here. He has worked on a number of different aircraft, whether that's being deployed or as part of his regimented training, has come to know the ins and outs of many Imperial aircraft. Not sure about a thunderhawk but i do have things like operate aeronautica and common lore tech and war that might be able to help me so i would love to just poke around see if anything looks a little bit out of sorts maybe make a uh tech check yeah i don't think i'm flying the thunder plus 20 yeah sure it's pretty good that's a 25 for 5 degrees of success alright so you go into the side pop open the back doorway where you see the kind of empty compartment as you're looking around one of the things you're noticing is that this thunderhawk has been incredibly stripped down in what way like there's no benches there's no nothing no like sensory arrays yeah like like like the bench the benches have been removed there's no actual seating in here um the there are back lumens but the lumens are like very haphazard like it's not the full strand of them that have been set up um you can tell that any of these sort of like you know like the the the first aid kit has been removed um lots of the equipment and paneling have even been removed as You look, there is some exposed wiring in the back from removed panels. Oh. Well, they really didn't leave anything nailed until he took everything that wasn't nailed down. And even then, some of the things that were bolted down. And as you're kind of having this discovery, we cut to Byzantium in the cockpit. Byzantium, you're sort of looking over things, and you see that there is, like, a beeping red flash. that's flashing faster and faster uh can i get to it yeah yeah you can you can rush up to it you you see it on on on the cockpit console um and as you kind of look peer down uh it's a proximity sensor oh shit okay it seems to be growing in intensity very quickly like some kind of time based alert that bodes very ill um can i see what it is connected to perhaps yeah the sensorium the sensorium so the sensors yep it's getting faster all right i'm going to immediately reach down and rip whatever it is out of it in the off chance there's a bomb or something i'm going to try to do this from an angle that is not traditionally where we're facing uh and i'm I'm also going to yell to Yevgeny, Yevgeny, this is a trap. There's something wrong here. And I'm just- I'll say, there's nowhere to fucking sit in here. Get out of the Thunderhawk! And I'm going to try to rip my hand into it. I will literally reach in and try to pry, like with my fucking hand, get what this thing is. Give me a tech check at minus 10. Common lore tech, or tech, sorry. Very good. How bad could it be? gonna be so awesome if it's just normal oh bad bb um okay so common lore tech uh is that on my character sheet um no that's forbidden lores good tech okay minus 10 you say yep all right with a 55 that is five degrees of favor you rip through cabling as evgeny it rushes out the last thing you see is the red light reach a constant stream it stops blinking and is just red as you rip out the key sensorium modules from this thunder hawk and then I need Bethael and Cephas to give me dodge rolls as their thunder hawk explodes oh 1-800 come on now it's gonna be a straight dodge check please it's my luck and i need it now okay i got a hundred so there you go oh no seppis seppis is just gonna take this you must understand i can take that uh-huh this is this is when i do not want to see the corn number baby that's seven degrees of failure from NIL what the fuck can I roll to see how much of a good time I'm having not being in that please like are you like what is Lifos doing right now it's like I'm a pina colada he's in his beach chair he's all swung back like bring me another one Sebesco he just like dribbles down your skull all right ah one second sorry b b has heard my despair and she's decided to come onto the desk hello good cat hello easy throw up a picture of b you need to provide easy a picture of b okay let me let me i'll go come on thirst and hit me with that weapons grade apple butter all right beth i l oh fuck please tell me i don't die again it's it's not it's not terrible you're gonna take a fair amount of damage as you're hurled out but not not terrible um so So you're going to take six wounds as you are rolled out from the Thunderhawk as it explodes. That's doable. Cephas, however. Yes. Oh, no. Yes. Give me it. Give me the damage. I stand. One sec. I misspoke. Sorry. Sorry. Bethael you're also going to take six more my bad five wounds yeah yeah yeah because I forgot the degrees of failure impact okay so let's pull up Cephas's sheet it's a good thing Victrix wasn't here yeah she was off to the side I wasn't going to make her going in No, Victrix is often Tyne. Lucitrix... Oh, yeah, Lucitrix. I'm sorry, they have very similar names. That's all right. All right, so... 21. It's very funny, because I rolled Lucitrix on a random table, and Victrix was one I made up forever ago. So, in actuality, they aren't technically too far away. You take... Urndel's infamous for turning cheap tricks. Go on. You take... I'm going to throw a stone at you. Get off my back. You take ten wounds, Cephas, as the thunderhawk explodes around you, but then you simply just walk out of the complete and total wreck of this thunderhawk. However, I will say that the chain hammer is still in pristine quality, as Beth Iho has grabbed it. Thank God. They were going to blow up my fucking hammer. Thurston, would you be willing to let me take more damage so Bethael takes less nope I was ahead of you yeah I wanted to try I'm not expecting that one thank you though Bethael's like hurled out and hits a wall and then like after the explosion is done Bethael you look up and just see the silhouette of Cephas like walk out violence very good as to be expected one does not make simple trades nowadays No violence. Spits. This is the captain's voice. Captain Shookery. What? The conflagration vessels have taken our transport and are making their way to translate at the edge of the system. They have broken off from us. Are there any left? Negative. All three vessels are en route. They have sent a standard text-based communication indicating trade accepted. I thought it was going to be like a metal finger emoji. Just the same. Lol, lmao. Lmao even. If in the 41st millennium we had emojis, this would be replete with them. They send over that, like, laughing Clash of Clans king emoji. Can Lampus send a message back? Like a text-based one? Yeah, of course. He sends one back. Thank you for your business. Zinch smile face. Zinch smile? Epic Zinch Discord sticker. Yeah. I assume the 41st millennium on Chaos ships, there are uh smiling emotes for all the deities sure i'll allow this i uh i after uh presumably uh seeing the horrible conflagration explosion of the really no no it was on a different deck you feel it i feel like you're on a different deck like you would feel the ship slightly vibrate from the explosion uh you've genny has probably run outside and is like bunkered down and you have just ripped the sensor node out of this thunderhawk oh my god the functional one I will put it back as gently as I can I'm going to walk out I'm going to look at Evgeny Evgeny he's just hiding behind a big stack of boxes can you keep a secret fuck you slimy fuck you slimy fuck that's also very true that's also very true I won't be no no no fuck him roll the willpower test speaker yeah roll the willpower test I'm not I just asked if he could take a keep a secret I didn't say he's gonna tell him 100% yeah if getting he'll be looking up at him Because his back is, like, to the crate, so he's just kind of staring up as Sephiroth. Oh my god, he's like, you fucking Sephiroth. I've been everywhere. The corruption's setting in. The corruption's in. The corruption's set in. Yeah. I told you, bro, you should face the marines. Never go to church. Never go to church, kids. Never go to the Nurgle church. Byzantium is just looking at, like, is craned over. He says nothing, but it's a knowing gaze of, okay. Well, we found the Thunderhawk Look like this. Any gestures to the part there? There's like sparks. There's crackling sparks from the, the destroyed front console. Byzanty? Mm-hmm? I have many secrets. Attaboy. Fucker. Now, I've got one more bit of bad news. Okay. What? If what I think has happened, has just happened. He puts a hand on Evgeny's shoulder. Brother, I don't know how to tell you this. Nice roll, Ceylon. You gotta fly, this piece of shit. Fuuuuck, dude! I've never flown a Thunderhawk before, I'm fucked! Did they take the seat out of the pilot area too? Did they take the yoke and shit? Dude, you're gonna have to, like, just wrap me in. It's gonna be like a fucking bondage ring in the cockpit. I'm gonna die. We can get spare parts from the Arvis lighters. It'll be fine. Get him a booster seat. We need somebody with Maglock boots to put me in the baby harness while I'm steering this thing. No, no, no. For some reason. I'm gonna make Zoran psychic power to levitate you as you're flying. It's the only way. That's how Scarbrand will appear. We're going to get spare parts from the Arvis lighters. We're going to turn this Thunderhawk into our own custom hoopty. It'll be fine. What? In fairness, we have one. Guys, in fairness. You're right. We had one. Guys, in fairness, we've got a lot of Thunderhawk parts all around the ship. We have one in another bay, in fact, and they're on fire. um by zanti is going to use um presumably ship comms or anything by zanti to bethael come in bethael what i'm guessing the thunderhawk exploded oh do you know that perhaps it's best you come to my bay quickly bring the sorcerer i want to have a word with this warband before they jump out You'll get life force. I don't want to see him. It's my cell Hang up life. I have something important to tell you Yes, I hang up I'm fucking walking into something yeah I was thinking about it I was thinking about hitting you with lots of different stupid jokes but I figured the best one that was really funny good job I like it I love playing this game with you guys it's really fun this is a great game Thurston I really like this twist you do realize because we are not going on this fucking planet. Sorry, we're playing Warhammer now. Oh my God. We are. I hope you're snapped in for another season because we're killing these sons of bitches. We are not. We're never finding a Dark Apostle. Solanon-K is just like sitting there with his fingers steepled, like checking his watch. Like, you know what, I feel like they should've been here. Any day now, they're supposed to come kill me. part of the plot progression i have the script like where the fuck are they what is this this is a fucking bethesda game have i just given you a fucking side and now you're like guess i'm gonna be a fucking vampire over in this side fucking area god damn it another warband has betrayed the legion depending how this goes we can get back on track a lot sooner you know with all the setup we've done, so let's see how this goes, and let's see, you know, if you allow things or not. I'm just glad we won the housing lottery. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Not the housing lottery! Uh, so, Lifo arrives at the other hangar that buys Ante and Evgenia in, and he kind of looks around, you know, like, fist to his sides, and he's like, Well, I see you didn't have it here yet. Uh, he looks to the tech priest, which I assume he ushered. uh then with him maybe like no no no he's he's strictly he's strictly communicating via remote servers oh that's right stupid enough to come here and he'll address the servo skull and go is this the situation if you don't mind analyzing analyzing they they're looking around oh man this This Thunderhawk is pretty shit. Not trapped, though. Doesn't have enough circuitry to be properly trapped. But his eye twitches. Wow, they really did a number here on the sensorium array. I've never seen such shoddy work in my life. It's like some guy came in here and pulled it out. What were they thinking? Beats me. what a crazy situation this is so we are obviously not going to let them get away with this scourge is this thing even sky worthy oh yes it appears that they followed the letters of the agreement and provided us a serviceable thunderhawk we can acquire some benches and should I have an upy mortal sized seat for the cockpit Yes, but we won't have time to implement it before its maiden voyage. So, are you not going down to the surface? I... I think I can speak for most of us when I say this is a grievous insult. i say we take this thunderhawk we fly it into the bay of that damnable cruiser we kill everyone we see and we take all that we wish and return everyone on board that ship already gave their lives away we should spend their lives instead for the glory of the dark gods now you're getting into the spirit of it. They sold their souls. They sold their souls, Lyphos. We're merely repossessing them and giving them to somebody else. Yeah. None of them can be allowed to live. There's, yeah, you got me. There you go. Lyphos will see everybody's frustration and see Byzantis goes, Oh, I have a gift for you. It better be sumptuous. this view of the rage that goes through you, these emotions, you will get no better eye. Everyone, I invite you. He flurls his cloak as he begins to walk back. I can attempt repairs on this thunderhawk while you are away. Yes, please. As quickly as you can. I'm going to contact the major general and i'm going to have him uh i i've got what uh i forgive me the exact uh span is it a regiment or a platoon that i have um i think it was like a battalion right a battalion which is okay yeah which was like several like several several different like like hundreds of guardsmen yeah a battalion a regiment is way too big i do not have a fucking regiment yeah okay it'd be around like you know like 300 or 500 would be like an average battalion it can go higher but yeah yeah and then battalions go up to a thousand but what are battalions made out of fuck me how it is structured in a way of like battalions are a separate squad squads are 10 platoons are four to five yeah companies are five so so there's probably about two companies that you have um and that's about like probably like 600 ish individuals okay i'm going to advise the major general to get a uh company uh at battle uh at a state of battle readiness and prepare for a possible boarding action um it is likely that only uh the elite of the elite can come uh or rather it is likely that only very limited numbers can so those specialized or experienced in boarding actions would be preferred course course what type of weaponry are we looking for shall we bring out the old elephant guns they're very good in a long corridor why i like the way you think major general war is an art show me your masterpiece but be cautious we may yet the day is not yet done um and uh i'm going to go to the bridge and we'll see what lifeos has in store while our, uh, menials begin, um, putting everything together. Yeah. Um, you, you reach the bridge, um, which, as you do so, um, you can see that Lifo stands there prepared by the immobile form of, of the, the captain sort of shrouded in darkness, the captain's voice standing beside. Uh, there's a whole thick display of the three conflagration vessels, which are very quickly nearing the mandible point as they're full burning towards the edge of the system as everyone's walking inside life also would extend his arms out and go like my compatriots what do you wish upon our enemies they all die quite send their souls send their souls screaming to the abyss then join me in prayer brethren join me and the glory he turns with the flash as everything begins to just kind of swirl around as it begins to kind of circle his hands about and he presents his hand up in a way as if he's about to snap his fingers in our revenge and he snaps and as he snaps uh you'll see that one of the cruisers burst into flames yeah so what you what you witness is on the hololith there's like fire that seems to engulf one of the vessels um it very quickly overcomes it it's strange because it is coming through the sort of the hololithic display um and as you are you are seeing this um you see that the two other vessels immediately translate uh their their their signatures winking out but the other vessel is combusted into some horrific horrific flames and you're watching this just through the through the uh through the hololith vision of the vessel, you actually see it crack in half and like fire sort of come out the middle and then rush around the vessel. Oh, that's a really bad roll on the crit table. The entire time, Lifos is just laughing maniacally. He's just seeing it all unfold as if, and he's just so happy you see i'm getting sexist so as as the success pours through you um glyphos you also realize that the powers you have unleashed are particularly potent in fact extremely potent um can you give me a psychic phenomena roll please oh he wants scar brand let's go again sorry uh do you 100 plus what 20 20 yes sir here's your roll that is a 76 and as i look at that i get oh you're gonna like that result Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. Uh oh. Another D100 you would like perhaps for the other table? Yes. Yes, please. Is there a plus? Would you like to add to that, my lord? Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. This is a flat D100. Very well. That is a 26, which would be locked in. The power cages the sucker's mind in an ethereal prison. Fuck! Tormented by visions of the warp, the sucker falls to the ground in a catatonic state. Each round thereafter, he must bid off full action to make a difficult minus 10 willpower test. On his success, his mind is freed and restored to his body, haunted by his experiences, but otherwise unharmed. so i wanna i wanna point out what happens here is lifo starts cackling madly and then collapses like dry bones wait hulky if you please i i don't have wait i don't have this whole yeah do you still have the sound effect i have a couple yeah whatever I'm trying to remember which one it was Don't worry about it, the time has passed Easy, easy Help us out It needs to get to this part, just add in The bone effects Since you're in metal armor It'd really sound more like this Yeah I want you to start making me willpower tests we'll see how long you're like as you hysterically laugh and then collapse down all right 97 with four degrees of failure six seconds you could have rolled that for your perils you know next one is 28 with five degrees of success so after about like 10 seconds of being on the floor Lifos reconstitutes I would like to propose a narrative thing for the locked in thing that's the souls of all the people he infected raiding him oh yeah what you saw was like you basically had an out-of-body experience as you were there as the conflagration like consumed all of those people uh what was like perhaps disheartening was how eagerly the astartes on board the ship welcomed it uh but then you simply watched as the flames consumed everything leaving nothing behind maybe a little bit behind like thunderhawk traps no no no no fucking loot from this i i am being generous enough letting you kill a starship with one skill check be fucking happy and go back to your home thank you thurston i know it's for a lot but you know i had to ask it's true and you got it and then you reconstitute yourself on the bridge thank you thurston i appreciate it thurston can i ask you a question oh fuck yeah yeah sure what class of cruiser was that oh it was a carnage a carnage oh i like the carnage too that's fucked up on a scale of cool how cool is the carnage the carnage is one of the more expensive ships so it's really good it's like it's not as fast as a slaughter but slaughters are very rare though they're they're slightly more respectable weirdly enough carnages are essentially uh gunboats they're really this thing would be really bad at fighting us actually uh this thing would would actually fucking suck at fighting us uh but it would be really good at fighting eldar it would be so it is like all plasma weapon batteries it's it's plasma it's it's also long-range support so really what would happen if you fought this thing which is one-on-one this thing would suck against you three-on-one this would actually be really fucking annoying because they all go at long range yeah it's it's going it outranges us it would essentially in a battle group this thing's job would be to fire first lower our shields and let the lances rip us apart Lythos reconstitutes, looked at his companion, and go, I hope you appreciate the gift of Zeej. As he does a bow. So, so wait. What trickery and cowardice. I for one am impressed, Lythos. I am very happy to see our foes go up in flame. Uh, how? You see, it was all from the beginning, my friend, to convince you to begin talking. And as you began negotiations, I pushed a gentle and their strings in yours to bring people for the sacrifice. Before I was to the breach, and while I was tardy, is that I was performing Saint's great work. by assembling the chosen, those who would be brought forth as weapons for our cause, by having them drink Zinj's elixir, modified Prometheum. They all supped from his cup, and once they were delivered and tossed into their flames for sacrifice, it was not for their means but zinges in such a sacrifice they were oh the flames were beautiful were they not and you all helped especially you cephis thank you for such destruction and death I'm sure Nurgle appreciates. Almost as it should be. Wait. From the very beginning, all of this was just a plan to have you blow up that ship in particular? I was hoping to get more, to be honest with you, but a good trade, don't you think? Lighthouse, I ought to kick your fucking skeleton off your face. You're lucky I'm more mad at them than you. Barely. what the fuck are you talking about we could have had allies we could have had three this is this is the blurred lines between by zanti and speaker d lifeboats with a hand to his heart he's like you don't need to be so naive you know there are not many friends with amongst our kind we're the only brothers who like to truly work with each other and he begins to slow walk down the stairs uh you know all in prison presentation manner oh still floating like floating going with air that's not there uh in my mind he's like position he's like strategically going near vince to make that happen too that's so awesome i love him i'm obsessed with him he's he's constantly presenting he's like you know you already saw the betrayal the dangers they pose to us we try to make friends and you would dare be angry about that after what they nearly did to poor eugene he almost killed almost killed you and our dear brothers and he bows to uh Bethiel and uh Cephas you understand that we got the upper hand and know what they say by his auntie knowledge is power slaps a data slate to his chest read a book sometime Cephas will raise a finger in fairness what we effectively did was we shot two missiles past each other at least ours hit so did theirs protonoids we could have made blue space marines oh he taps his shoulder it's okay we got a few hundred thousand years to find another chance time is immortal for us Oh, my head hurts. Um, Thurston. Yes? You said we're getting no loot out of this ship, right? Correct. The flames consumed everything entirely. Could I, uh, make a small narrative declaration and, and this, this might be, this is definitely stretching what I could do with a narrative declaration. Trust me, we are not, I just, can I make a, can I make a small, you can veto me if you You don't like it. You can make a narrative suggestion, even. Mm-hmm. But Auntie sighs. Well, I suppose it's not a complete loss. After all, even though the fire should have charred all the internal systems, and goodness knows how many crewmen are still alive after a blast that big, at the very least, the many manifold plasma batteries will likely be salvageable, knowledgeable, being able to give this ship some sort of armament. And as Byzantium does this, in the mirror behind him, the flames coalesce as the ship recombines as a Zeech demon ship and begins drifting into the infanterium. Alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, alright, speaker. You want to have guns for your ship that you can grab and repair? No, I'm saying that if it's a demon ship, there's no way we're fucking getting those guns. I was just saying, that would be a really good reason why we can't fucking touch it. I mean, a demon ship does form, just not where any of you can see it. Oh, my life is hell. I thought you'd see, sorry, when you were like, when you were positioning that, i thought you were positioning it as like thurston could i please have a thing please could i just get one piece of loot out of this and you were like no i want to make it suck more yeah no i'm just saying it's like that would be that would be a really funny reason it's just like as he's talking like horrible tentacles just coming out of all the gun cannons and it's just like drifting off between fucking dimensional folds okay uh speaker roll me 1d 100 sure thing let's see if my not funny joke lands did i not that's a 39 and 3 minus 9 is 6 which is slanish's holy number oh actually nine minus okay okay perfect perfect perfect okay excellent i was just seeing what would have happened if you tried to do something that gave you a benefit and it wasn't anything too bad you just would have gotten smote um all right all right with that the vessel has been consumed in this reality though it may reconstitute in another reality to show up at a later point they'll keep that in their back pockets and the space around Dahab is finally clear after two episodes it's finally clear my friends it is time to go after our charge he'll extend a hand presenting, he's like both are you after you and he'll motion to the doors of Where are the hangar, Whoopi? Is there a really nice chair on the bridge? Everyone grab a chair. Oh no, I have many secrets. I ain't told you about this shit. No, this is in play, right? I just find it really funny going, oh, there's no chairs. I'm not going to get one because I would have failed on that too. But I just find it really funny to where it's like, hey, there's no chairs. And I think everyone just grab one and get your own personal chair. Get, like, a folding chair. Oh, yeah, like a tailgate party. Or, like, the fucking, like, white plastic chair from the one Virgil meme. Oh, that's true. Oh, yeah, that's true. That's what our Thunderhawk is about to be fucking furnished with. Oh, my God. Yeah, exactly. But, yeah, as Lifos extends a hand, Bethael just kind of swats it aside and just... So long as we get there, we move. He's going to just kind of storm past him Lifehills will follow Alright, Byzantium I'm just going to take a look at your character sheet here Oh no, the Thunderhawk explodes No I don't have Orb of Bombardment either if you were looking for it No, no, no Looking to see if you added the Thunderhawk to your inventory so you if you roll lost item yes that'd be good dude we're gonna have to walk can you give me a plus 30 scrutiny check you got it boss okay where the hell is scrutiny though right side right under yeah you got it plus 30 this is a perception will i be getting an additional 30 for my aspects no okay uh will i get to re-roll because that only that only that only applies to awareness or does it apply to no it's perception it's like visual perception um i mean unless i'm just lying it's actually been a little bit since i've read it let me take another look um you only get plus 20 awareness to nearby creatures and hidden objects and you can reroll perception yeah okay my my bad i've been adding 10 more i'm so sorry uh i genuinely thought it was 30 uh okay but actually i'll give it to you give yourself plus plus 20 here so plus 50 scrutiny you got it 53 for three degrees of success yes you find an exceptionally fine chair on one of the servitors that previously exploded in this jackpot I'm gonna grab it and then as I pass I'm gonna look to Evgeny is there a shittier chair that another exploded servitor was using come on now I'll allow you to give me another scrutiny test to discover a chair okay it's gonna be a 5 for 8 degrees of success You find a full throne In one of the side compartments That has like a strap in And you can like very clearly Put someone in Into So he can't sit in it There we go Yeah Is anyone looking at me I assume Everyone has walked out at this point unless they want to say otherwise okay i'm yeah at the is there like a really nice crest at like the top of the throne no damn okay why the golden throne is in fact not on this ship because i was thinking about uh ripping it off and putting it on my chair before i gave it to Just one thing. You can't let him have one thing. Not a single one. I can. I'm Disgraced Greed. That's my character. Oh, that's fair. I would never ask you to not be yourself. Exactly. Alright. And I'll pick up the nice throne. And I will walk to the Thunderhawk, hopefully catching up with Evgeny to say, Yo! Evgeny. Now, I know Nurgle's pretty cool, but look at what I got you, buddy! I got you a chair! You know, accepting the transition of life into death is a really beautiful thing in the natural cycle, but look at this lazy boy! Epidemius' fucking chair. Evgeniii? Hey Evgeniii? Yes, yes Byzantiii, what is it? So basically everything that's happened in the past eight hours has been a load of shit. Yeah? It has been. We shouldn't have let those people die. We shouldn't have let those other people live. What other- well, yes, I agree with you there. But we, hands are sort of tight. We'll get there. It is what it is, but that's hindsight for you. Listen, I want you to know something. Okay. I want you to know two things, actually. Let me see if I can muster the willpower to tell you. I was just going to say, do you have utility, too? I want you to know something, but you take us in. You have many secrets. Say the line, Bart! Say the line, Vizagio, you already know, don't worry. Wait a second, I'm going to try to tell you, Evgeny, that I can't control it. I have so many secrets. I know. I know you do. I just assume you're holding this throne, eyes looking down at Evgeny. I have many secrets. Clutch is thrown tightly. The real other thing I wanted to tell you is... No matter what you want to do, you will never be allowed to bond with Evgeny you cannot share your secrets with him you will be a beautiful demon prince but Zanty looks like he's about to pop a blood vessel fucking this is like the best role playing yeah this is the best role playing thing I've ever put on speaker ever it's so good it's so funny Zanty would be way Honestly, Byzantium would be a way shittier person if he could vocalize himself normally. The fact that I have to lie and like do this fucking song and dance has compelled me to make him a slightly better person. First of all, what I really wanted to tell you is this. Don't go to the doctor! Please ask why. Don't go to the doctor, kids. Why? Please ask why so he can fight the roll again. Why? He does. Okay, you got back to one. One block. You know what? You know what? For the rest of this session you can tell any secrets you want. I could kiss you, Thurston Hillman. Alright, everybody. That's been a great session today. I could kill you Thurston I don't I don't like being a third wheel to Thurston's really weird like ball gagging of speaker right now I really don't like sitting here I don't like that phrasing well now you know why people don't like the emperor's children that's right not a very popular It is my will and my desire to share this information with you in this moment. Do not expect further clarity from me at any point in time. I was really impressed with you when you gave your rousing heroic speech you reminded me of the heroes of old of the great crusade had you been born at the right time in the right place i have no doubt you would have grown to be a worthy brother of the emperor's children something i did not truly believe in hold until that moment yevgeny i found you to be amusing and interesting and someone that i whose company i did appreciate But upon that moment, Yevgeny, I saw true brilliance. And if you turn away from that, I will not forgive you. Chaos is not this insipid thing. Yes, we spend lives, and yes, at times that expenditure is rather material and rather impulsive, for such is our will. But I found the sacrifice of those who had come to trust us, whom had come to be one of the few things we can rely on in this creaking, murderous carcass of a carcass. i found it distasteful to send them all to be blown to smithereens your speech moved my heart and it boiled my blood that syphus and the sorcerer your acid blood my acid blood that syphus and the sorcerer would seek to undo the tangled web that i was weaving to get what i wanted without such bloodshed. That is in the palace. I will tell you this, that is the first item. You may respond in kind and then I shall continue. I appreciate. If Genisys recognizes the situation, he'll probably never get a straight conversation with Byzantium again. I greatly, my lord, I truly appreciate you seeing eye to eye on I understand. And I think that Cephas also understands Iswell. It's just the nature of the beast, but it does feel a bit better knowing them. You know, you hate to see them wasted. Cephas understands butt-kiss. Cephas understands poop and pee and excrement and defilement. Cephas is resigned utterly to the placid Nurg-light wandering. This isn't about Cephas. Cephas is fine. He is a paragon of his god. But look at this shoulder pad of mine! And he points at the sigil of the eagle. My brothers and I were once deemed worthy enough by the emperor, that which man now calls god to wear his personal emblem so fine and gallant and noble were we and now my present state of degeneration pales in comparison to the shit smeared hallways of fulgrims, blasted, infernal, tacky, miserable bloodship. We have fallen, we have fallen so far and so low that I, Byzantine Misfit, am the only sane one among us. But once we were brilliant, I seek that brilliance. I want to feel the fleece of glory soft and comforting between my fingernails. I want to hear the victory parade. i want to know that i am brilliant and i am worthy and that my cause is glory that is what i want and that is not what they want that's not what any of them want they are driven by their own obsessions you can't trust them and so I tell you this forthright temper temper temper what they tell you and I shall tell you of the dagger I placed in your back now speaker yes go give Noelle a hero point for having to listen to that shouting damn it was very good I'm just saying good Lord, you fucking gave it your all. Oh, yeah, that was good. Yeah, that was good. But your partner's somewhere in the house being like, what the fuck? What did you do? I sought to weave a web, knowing that I could not forestall the fate that we had in store for our brethren, and knowing that Cephas would no doubt soothe over thy judgments With his insufferable pessimism, I went to the apothecary, and I made him know all that we had done. I let him know that thanks to the sorcerer and that rotten man, Wormspine, that I had failed in my negotiations. And I intimated to him that perhaps, perhaps, official leadership of this warband must fall to someone trustworthy, someone who would not see his obsession, you weak, mewling human, so easily expended. But I failed. For I overplayed my hand. I sighted the warmaster Horis, whose colors and livery that man still wears. He has not donned the black garb of the legion of Abaddon's men. He still wears the colors of the sons of Horis. And so I thought that would speed my advantage, that would help feed his obsession, and that when the time came and I gave the order, I would not need to worry about a wizard playing games with my mind, or a cornate going mad off his leash, or a nerglite who would dare to seed apathy where there should be triumph and revelry. I told him that when the time came he should call me war master of the carcass and he refused me but the truth is Yevgeny the dagger I placed in your back was telling him that Cephas had spoken to you that he might not leave me and I may make my play and so Yevgeny my friend who I speak to with earnestness in my hearts who i tell you with tears behind my black eyes i beg you in this moment of candor do not hate me for my schemes instead come to know them and know this that chaos truly is freedom and strength but only to those with the power to wield its sword and if i lack that strength do not assume you small creature are likewise in my insignificance you claimed you've fallen so far from what you were did you were you planning to betray me like any of the other chattel here? I mean, surely it's just... all you told him was just... that I'd been swayed to Nurgle. It's just... That has no repercussions, right? I've certainly not. He had some wonderful things to say, and I think I understand his cause a bit more, but it changes nothing how he would still receive the same quality of care would that mean he's going to start sticking me with all sorts of plague addled fixatives and stims what does that mean for me byzante i did not speak with certainty i spoke with implication i stated that cephas had won you to his side and i had intended the argument but the implication ran in the air and i did not quash it what this implies for you my intentions in my betrayal they were never for you they were for my own sickly advantage they were selfishly spoken in hopes that i might rest control of this weeping and agitated wreck but what his reaction will be i do not know he will not harm you he will be dismayed of you and should he intend to harm you evgeny my my my comrade know that i would not allow the slight to go unavenged really do i plan against those that do not deserve to be planned again unless it amuses me and did it amuse you so that this knife in my back no it did not amuse me and so I tell you this now to make amends and to have you see the truth where others will obfuscate you I care only for the truth Evgeny And the truth of this world is that chaos is power, and power is pleasure, and pleasure is glory. You know, if things... Oh, no, no, say your thing, say your thing. Oh, it's fine. In time, all these things that you said to me, of your so glorious past that you once were, to claim yourself to be less depased than your ilk, and how far you've fallen, you're reveling in that, it reminds me of something. You're no doubt versed in the Inquisition. their own proclivities to fail in their own rights to seek what they should not but still be given that free check to explore things that others may so summarily have their brains removed from their bodies for even daring to think having that temerity to question authority as they were in my time in my service of the inquisition i would come to know a great deal of things never once having my loyalty called into question for blessed is the mind too small to doubt and my superiors had no reason to doubt in my own doubts i'm a bit of a bookworm believe it or not well read in my own time much more than the average guardsman knowledge is power after all and freedom is power as well you remind me of something i read once a book skimmed and burned like the rest those things too dangerous for the average imperial to know calls to mind an excerpt the mind its own place and in itself can make a heaven of hell hell heaven and to what you've said i say it's better to reign in hell than to serve in heaven long you have fallen and i have no reason to doubt you have fallen fallen far more in that own time and still may yet fall even further but better to live on your feet than die on your knees you did what you had to do whether or not my judgment now is going to bite me in the ass I don't know but I will choose to take you at your word once and only once that you feel some measure of shame for betraying me even slightly but what little faith I have left I will put in you that you've tried to make right and that much I value Your words touch my hearts, and I shall not endanger the sentiment by continuing to prattle on any further. But no, irrespective of this, I do have a small gift for you. And as I give it, I ask you, bookworm, to read, to know the history of my legion, and to know the history of all of us damned slaves to darkness. and know that my greatest wish is for glory glory glory for us all i got you a chair and i will present him with the throne i have been hiding behind my back during this entire scene somehow obviously obviously and as you present the throne um excellent the camera pans over to Bethael Bethael what's your inner monologue been like during this episode Bethael's inner monologue has certainly been a combination of this just like white hot shame that he is part of the reason why we must engage in these insipid negotiations with these people he does not respect who hide behind their flame weaponry instead of getting to the front lines um he has been um disdainful of the psychic shenanigans and the trickery and the negotiations and all of it piling up and up and up into this insistent migraine. And then to have this chain hammer kind of thrown at his feet before immediately getting hit by a dirty trick, Bethael is seething. And this entire time, all he can think about is getting to this dark apostle, finding the secret of how he got off this ship and wondering exactly what getting off that ship looks like for him. And as the camera zooms into your rage-filled face, sitting on the mortal-sized bench that has been installed in the rear of the Thunderhawk. It's like concave. It's bending under his weight. 100%. The ship takes off and it just cracks. as your companions enter the Thunderhawk and you prepare to finally get on with the main fucking story of the campaign that is where we will call today's episode thank you everybody we just did a scam so violent today so violent but thank you all so much for listening to this episode of Warhams a Chaos Odyssey hope everyone enjoyed the episode. I think everyone here did an amazing job. Good job. Good job. Very good role play. Hope everybody enjoyed it. And of course, if you want to help out the show, you can watch all the episodes as soon as they're done on patreon.com. Of course, that's Narrative Declaration. Or you can wait until they come out for free over on the YouTubes. You can find everything about us at narrativedeclaration.com. You can also find everybody here and all their socials. Find all their amazing projects they're a part of. And of course, we would love to see you next time thank you guys so much and i'll see you next time bye-bye the dark city the dark city