Latest / Drawn of History / Ari Shaffir _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _359(M4A_128K)

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Ari Shaffir _ This Past Weekend w_ Theo Von _359(M4A_128K) · Drawn of History

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Today's episode is brought to you by that thirsty funeral baby,
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: Liquid Death. You can go to theovon.com slash tour and
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: grab tickets. There's still some tickets available for Chattanooga, Knoxville, Durham,
• 0:17
  Speaker 1: as well, I believe, as Buffalo, New York. We might
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: be adding dates. Return of the Rat Tour. And thank
• 0:24
  Speaker 1: you guys so much. I'm excited to see you soon.
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: Today's guest is a survivor of cancel culture. He pushes
• 0:36
  Speaker 1: the line. Or does he? Should anybody have to push
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: the line? Should there be a line? We're going to
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: talk about a lot of things. This man let me
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: stay at his apartment one time when I was dealing
• 0:50
  Speaker 1: with a little bit of addictory behavior. He's long been
• 0:56
  Speaker 1: a fixture in the stand-up comedy community. He's the host
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: of Skeptic Tank. Today's guest is Ari Shafir.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: I'll sit and tell you my story.
• 1:25
  Speaker 3: You're not interested in going back, huh? I mean, it's
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: probably a deeper question than just like a yes or no.
• 1:44
  Speaker 2: No, it's interesting. Well, everybody started to kind of go.
• 1:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. So it's probably different now. Yeah.
• 1:50
  Speaker 2: I mean, yeah. Everybody like at COVID.
• 1:53
  Speaker 1: I mean, I guess COVID for you kind of started
• 1:54
  Speaker 1: early in a weird way, you know, because you kind
• 1:56
  Speaker 1: of like had a, you had another break and then
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: everybody else got on this crazy break.
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: And it's like. Yeah. They, they, yeah, Rogan was like,
• 2:05
  Speaker 3: you know, LA sucks. It's over. And I'm like, I'm like,
• 2:08
  Speaker 3: you're just finding that out now. I'm like, dude, I
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: left 10 years ago, dude. Yeah. It's full of fucking actors, man.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Everybody sucks there.
• 2:15
  Speaker 2: That's true.
• 2:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 2:17
  Speaker 1: You've always been kind of that brave in that space
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: to like, kind of, manage your own time differently. I
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: feel like that's one thing I've always admired about you
• 2:25
  Speaker 1: is that you always manage your time in a way
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: where it's not like you're not as succumbed to whatever
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: that little, it's almost like watching a fuse on a
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: dynamite being in LA. It's like you don't really know
• 2:37
  Speaker 1: what you're waiting for, but you're milling around. You feel
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: like you're just in this eternal lobby.
• 2:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, somebody told me the war on drugs and the
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: war on terror are both weird ones because you'll never
• 2:48
  Speaker 3: win it. you're never going to get a surrender from drugs. Yeah.
• 2:51
  Speaker 3: You know? Like, all right, we'll stop, you know? Save
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: a tear. There might just be, like, one guy out there,
• 2:56
  Speaker 3: but he's, like, still, like... So it's never over. Same
• 2:59
  Speaker 3: thing with, like, trying to get fame or whatever the
• 3:01
  Speaker 3: fuck you're chasing in L.A. It's, like, it's never done. Yeah.
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: You're never at the top.
• 3:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're never at the top. Even as you meet celebrities,
• 3:08
  Speaker 1: you realize there are higher-ups, people you admire. They're as
• 3:12
  Speaker 1: scared as anybody, too.
• 3:13
  Speaker 3: Dude, I've seen, like, high-level, like, comedians and actors, like,
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: taking those, like, like needy pictures with other celebrities for Instagram. Like,
• 3:22
  Speaker 3: look at it. I'm like, you're still climbing.
• 3:24
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 3:24
  Speaker 2: You're not at ease.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Fuck.
• 3:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely.
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: It's a, uh, and I think a lot of that
• 3:31
  Speaker 1: being more exposed kind of these days, I think people
• 3:33
  Speaker 1: see it more and it's, I think the, the, a
• 3:35
  Speaker 1: younger generation, they could, their, their cameras on, I mean,
• 3:38
  Speaker 1: they have it with them, but I've always really, I
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: think been envious of the guys that live in New York. Um,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: Or guys that are able to just take a break
• 3:47
  Speaker 1: and be like, all right, I'm going to do this
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: for four months.
• 3:49
  Speaker 2: I'm going to be here, you know?
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: But being here, some things that it's been like, it's
• 3:53
  Speaker 1: given me, well, I have a chance to have a
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: home for the first time.
• 3:56
  Speaker 3: So I have a house.
• 3:57
  Speaker 2: So that's kind of, it's a little interesting.
• 3:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Big J was talking about that. It was like,
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: can I just live like a human? Yeah. Have I
• 4:02
  Speaker 3: not earned the right? Yeah. Not in New York. Nah, dude. Yeah,
• 4:06
  Speaker 3: New York.
• 4:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know if you ever can in New York.
• 4:08
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I asked the crowd at Zany's. I was telling
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: some joke about somebody banging with a broom handle on
• 4:12
  Speaker 3: my floor. The downstairs neighbors. Oh, yeah, yeah. I was like,
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: you guys live in apartments? And like two people clapped.
• 4:17
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, that's right. You guys are humans here.
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: You're going to live like fucking rats for way too
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: expensive just for the proximity to Broadway. Yeah.
• 4:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't know what I think about. One thing
• 4:30
  Speaker 2: that's like, what are some things that's interesting? About living here.
• 4:35
  Speaker 2: You get into more conversation. Like the guy, sorry, we
• 4:38
  Speaker 2: need to get a table on the other side. We
• 4:41
  Speaker 2: can't get it now.
• 4:41
  Speaker 3: No, it's all right. I'm joking around. Oh, you are?
• 4:43
  Speaker 3: I've got to go with this hand.
• 4:44
  Speaker 2: Oh, it's funny because every time we have a guest,
• 4:45
  Speaker 2: I'll watch them literally have to drink like this.
• 4:47
  Speaker 3: They don't know how to do this.
• 4:48
  Speaker 2: So we've got to get that table, yeah. We'll just, yeah.
• 4:52
  Speaker 2: We don't have two tables. It's erroneous.
• 4:57
  Speaker 3: It is. You built up this whole studio. You would
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: think the second table would not be the thing holding
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: you back. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.
• 5:04
  Speaker 2: But that's Sean. Sean is our producer, and he.
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: Does a lot. And he's a slacker. He's table light.
• 5:08
  Speaker 1: Yeah, he's table light, but he's everything else heavy. And
• 5:10
  Speaker 1: he looks like George Washington.
• 5:11
  Speaker 3: Look at him. Let me see. Yeah, a little bit.
• 5:13
  Speaker 3: Young George Washington. Remember when they said George Washington could
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: not tell a lie? Yeah.
• 5:18
  Speaker 2: You believe that? I did when I was little. He
• 5:21
  Speaker 2: had autism. That's all that means, I feel like.
• 5:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe. Yeah. Yeah, he's like Autistic Thunder.
• 5:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's like that guy Josh at the comic strip. Remember,
• 5:29
  Speaker 2: you're like, am I funny?
• 5:29
  Speaker 3: And he's like, you're not that funny. I cannot tell
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: a lie. Your shirt's wrong.
• 5:32
  Speaker 2: He'd always say it, too. He'd always be so loud. Like,
• 5:36
  Speaker 2: that chick is hot.
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: Like, dude, she's here.
• 5:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, and she just got a sex change, bro.
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: She appreciates it.
• 5:45
  Speaker 1: Bail off the pronouns, yeah. So, yeah, I'm trying to
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: really rack my brain. Like, what are some things that
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: I think about?
• 5:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: One thing that's hard here that's really hard is getting
• 5:55
  Speaker 1: stage time. So it's almost like if I really want
• 5:57
  Speaker 1: to practice some comedy, I have to go back to L.A.
• 5:59
  Speaker 1: for a couple weeks and really set up a lot
• 6:01
  Speaker 1: of shows. There's just not a lot of time here.
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: Your problem, too, is you're getting famous now. So I'm
• 6:07
  Speaker 3: sure it's harder to come by honest workouts.
• 6:10
  Speaker 1: Yeah, the shows here feel like it's a road show
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: kind of sometimes.
• 6:16
  Speaker 3: I stopped into a fucking red band show in Austin. Yeah,
• 6:19
  Speaker 3: what was that like? It was great, but I'm like,
• 6:21
  Speaker 3: this is not going to ever be a workout. They're
• 6:23
  Speaker 3: already converted. Right.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: It feels like a who's who room.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 6:27
  Speaker 2: Oh, I bet down there.
• 6:28
  Speaker 3: I understand. You might get some people who recognize you,
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: but most people are just like, next. Right. You know? Yeah.
• 6:34
  Speaker 1: And LA still feels like that, too, even when I'm there.
• 6:36
  Speaker 1: It's like nothing. Everybody just feels like you're working out comedy.
• 6:39
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: Oh, that's good. Yeah. I guess there's enough big famous
• 6:42
  Speaker 3: people there, too, where it's not super special.
• 6:44
  Speaker 2: Well, nobody's that special, unless you're like J-Lo.
• 6:47
  Speaker 3: Or- j-lo doing stand-up now i don't know probably j-lo
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: she's done is she dead she's like 80 though that's
• 6:54
  Speaker 3: like me all my references are like big people from
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: like 1997 that's a sad.
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: That's the toughest thing about trying to talk to girls
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: you know if like if a girl's like 27 or
• 7:03
  Speaker 1: 28 even you're like uh have you seen.
• 7:06
  Speaker 3: This movie dude i was telling somebody who's in college
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: i was like uh graduating and i was like uh Hey,
• 7:13
  Speaker 3: throw on Asher Roth, like, I love college. And he's like,
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: all right, Grandpa.
• 7:17
  Speaker 2: I'm like, wait, what? That was after my time. Yeah,
• 7:21
  Speaker 2: it's hard. I hate to make references.
• 7:23
  Speaker 1: I took a girl on a date one night, and
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: I showed her my music app, and it was Apple Music.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: She's like, you use iMusic? Like, you don't even have Spotify?
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: And literally every part of me that had any confidence
• 7:33
  Speaker 1: fucking jumped in front of my own vehicle.
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: Damn. Damn. And you're like, well, yeah, I'm older than you. Yeah.
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: What do you mean?
• 7:40
  Speaker 2: Why are you even here with me?
• 7:42
  Speaker 3: You're into it. Fucking dumb bitch. Don't act like you're
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: better than this.
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: What's been going on, man? So you've been, you've been,
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: I see you got the, you got a new tour
• 7:52
  Speaker 1: going right now.
• 7:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 7:54
  Speaker 2: I saw that post the other day, the one you did,
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: the Brody Stevens, the swingers tour, whatever.
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: That was a tough one. Oh, I put it out
• 8:01
  Speaker 3: to the audience. I was like, you made my tour.
• 8:03
  Speaker 3: And then some of them, I'm like, God damn you guys.
• 8:05
  Speaker 3: Fuck you. But if it's funny, I'll like, I'll post it. I'll,
• 8:08
  Speaker 3: you know, Got on to the comedy, but.
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: Do you feel like you have more of, like, a
• 8:13
  Speaker 1: carte blanche? Like, I was watching Louis' special where he's, like.
• 8:18
  Speaker 3: Cats?
• 8:20
  Speaker 2: Louis C.K.? C.K., oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: Sorry.
• 8:24
  Speaker 2: Yeah, Louis C.K. So, the one online, the one that's
• 8:26
  Speaker 2: on the internet. And he was talking about.
• 8:31
  Speaker 1: Oh, how once everybody knows what your sexual perversions are,
• 8:34
  Speaker 1: you're kind of free in a way, like... Like, he
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: felt so, in a weird way, he felt so free
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: now because he could kind of, you know, like, his moment, like,
• 8:44
  Speaker 1: the world had seen his butthole, his proverbial butthole.
• 8:46
  Speaker 3: Right, so he didn't have to pretend like he's a gentleman. Right.
• 8:49
  Speaker 1: Right, so a lot of the preferred nomenclatures or whatever were,
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: you know, were disappeared. He could just be the asshole
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: he is if he wants to be. Do you feel
• 8:57
  Speaker 1: like any, like, do you feel any, like, do you
• 9:00
  Speaker 1: feel like you have, like, What does any of that
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: feel like?
• 9:04
  Speaker 2: Do you feel like you need to put out something
• 9:06
  Speaker 2: edgy now?
• 9:07
  Speaker 3: No, no, no. Yeah, some people are like, oh, you're
• 9:09
  Speaker 3: just edgy. But I'm like, no, no, some of it's edgy.
• 9:11
  Speaker 3: I do puns also. I'll do some clean jokes. I
• 9:13
  Speaker 3: like to mix it up. But then the edginess isn't
• 9:15
  Speaker 3: going to make them walk out on me. Right. Because
• 9:17
  Speaker 3: they're already like, they're there for it too.
• 9:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: Anyone who's at a club, at a downstairs basement club
• 9:24
  Speaker 3: or dingy, it's like they're degenerates. They're drug addicts and
• 9:27
  Speaker 3: fucking sexual perverts. They're not going to be fucking, oh,
• 9:29
  Speaker 3: this is too far. And if they are, it's like,
• 9:31
  Speaker 3: it's all right, man. You weren't supposed to be here.
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: Come back next week.
• 9:35
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. Yeah, there's always this hypothetical
• 9:41
  Speaker 2: creature that I'm performing to that's not even really in
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: my audience.
• 9:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're so worried that they're going to be
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: turned off. Yeah. Because it's crazy how it holds you back,
• 9:48
  Speaker 3: the guy who's not there. You remember the old store
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: when there were like 10 people in the audience? Yeah.
• 9:54
  Speaker 3: at like 9.30 in the prime. It was still like
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: no show really.
• 9:57
  Speaker 2: Tommy was doing music and doing, yeah, writing sheets.
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: Music.
• 10:00
  Speaker 2: I remember walked up on it. He's writing out sheet music.
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: I'm like, this place is not going to do well.
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: You got to get Tommy on this podcast. You got
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: to fly him out. Yeah.
• 10:08
  Speaker 2: I would have him out.
• 10:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Um, What was I going to say?
• 10:12
  Speaker 2: Oh, you were saying.
• 10:13
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. But comics are always like, fuck, there's no
• 10:15
  Speaker 3: crowd here. And I'm like, you're talking to the people
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: who are here. Right. You're talking to the wrong people.
• 10:20
  Speaker 3: You're yelling at the empty chairs, but they're not going
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: to hear you. It's only the full chairs. Yeah, it's
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: weird how you're worried about... You've gone up at the Cellar, right? Oh, yeah.
• 10:30
  Speaker 3: Everybody's worried about what they're doing at the Olive Tree
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: Cafe instead of what they might think up there, the
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: people who are going to go to the bathroom instead
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: of like, this audience is down for anything. Yeah. And
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: you're worried about like, I don't know, getting out to
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: people who aren't supposed to be listening to it.
• 10:44
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, it is. There's this myth. It's the
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: same thing that keeps you in L.A.
• 10:48
  Speaker 2: In a weird way. It's a mythological, like, or is
• 10:54
  Speaker 2: it this thing in my head that's always like, man,
• 10:56
  Speaker 2: I always want everybody to like me.
• 10:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe it's that. Maybe it's just so you worry
• 11:00
  Speaker 3: about the ones who don't or might not. Right.
• 11:04
  Speaker 2: Because it gets unmanaged.
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: It used to be manageable when you were a kid
• 11:07
  Speaker 1: and you're, like, in your group at school or something and, like,
• 11:09
  Speaker 1: You could see maybe the one or two kids.
• 11:10
  Speaker 2: It was more manageable.
• 11:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But back then, too, it was like you had
• 11:13
  Speaker 3: to have a reason to not like somebody. They had
• 11:15
  Speaker 3: to do something wrong to you. Right. You know? And
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: then at some point, when you hit college or something,
• 11:19
  Speaker 3: you're like, oh, I can just not like people. Yeah.
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: And then you realize, like, they can just not like me.
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: It's all right.
• 11:24
  Speaker 2: But it is cool.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: I started, like, I changed to the point where I'm like,
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: the ones who would, like, hate that style of comedy, fun, like, offensive, or, like,
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: just on the line, you know, I started to, like,
• 11:36
  Speaker 3: And the fans, too, started to enjoy their anger instead
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: of being worried about it.
• 11:40
  Speaker 2: Did you? Yeah, because they're like, you're such a fucking dork.
• 11:43
  Speaker 3: It's great. And everyone's having a good time. You know,
• 11:46
  Speaker 3: you ever had a show and you get some guy
• 11:48
  Speaker 3: mad at you? I did a 9-11 joke a couple
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: weeks ago in Providence. And I'm just getting back into
• 11:52
  Speaker 3: really enjoying stand-up. I'm not preparing for anything. So I'm like,
• 11:55
  Speaker 3: I got material. But there were six kids from Brown
• 11:58
  Speaker 3: University in the front row. So I'm like, fuck the
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: material for a second. Let me fuck around. Have a
• 12:02
  Speaker 3: good time. And some guy on the 9-11 joke is like, hey,
• 12:05
  Speaker 3: fuck you, man. And I was like, what's the matter?
• 12:08
  Speaker 3: And he was like, your delivery's off. And then I
• 12:10
  Speaker 3: was like, what do you mean? Like the speed at
• 12:12
  Speaker 3: which I'm talking or like the material? Yeah. He was like,
• 12:16
  Speaker 3: the material? I'm like, it's not really delivery. It's more content.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: But I get what you're saying.
• 12:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's DiGiorno, dude. Get your shit together.
• 12:26
  Speaker 3: But it's like, I was like, you must be extra
• 12:28
  Speaker 3: mad that everybody else is enjoying it. Yeah. And like
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: those people, everybody here's laughing. the comic or whatever is
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: prepared to make these people laugh. Right. They're enjoying it
• 12:37
  Speaker 3: and you're not just not enjoying it, you're angry. Yeah.
• 12:40
  Speaker 3: It's like, of course I'm gonna laugh at you. You
• 12:43
  Speaker 3: fucking dorks. And there might be thousands of them but
• 12:45
  Speaker 3: it doesn't matter, they're dorks. Yeah.
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I think, yeah, it's like, that's also a choice
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: too that if I'm sitting there and I'm, because I've
• 12:54
  Speaker 1: sat in a place where everybody's enjoying something and I'm
• 12:56
  Speaker 1: the angry one.
• 12:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:58
  Speaker 2: And dude, that's like, like my childhood for example.
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: So it's like, It's like everybody, it's like, that's a
• 13:05
  Speaker 1: choice I'm making as an adult, though, too. It's like,
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: I want to stand here in this quicksand and complain
• 13:11
  Speaker 1: about the flooring.
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You know? It is weird. It is weird. We're
• 13:15
  Speaker 3: in a society now. Like, somebody brought up somebody, Winston
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: Churchill or Gandhi or something. Somebody's like, and then, like,
• 13:22
  Speaker 3: I don't know what it was, but someone's like, or
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: Ruth Bader Ginsburg. And like, you know, she wasn't all good.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: She did this and this wrong. And I'm like, man, everyone's.
• 13:29
  Speaker 3: Give an accolade to this person. Your first thought is
• 13:32
  Speaker 3: to the bad. And not even as a joke, that's
• 13:34
  Speaker 3: what you go to all the time.
• 13:36
  Speaker 2: Well, that's the media too these days, man. It's almost
• 13:37
  Speaker 2: a perfect example. Anybody does anything and they want to.
• 13:43
  Speaker 1: Documentaries have to expose... Anybody that ever did anything good,
• 13:46
  Speaker 1: it's like documentaries have to expose them.
• 13:48
  Speaker 2: Woody Allen documentary. Yeah, that's a good point.
• 13:53
  Speaker 3: But really, it's like, wouldn't you just focus on his movies?
• 13:57
  Speaker 3: Isn't that the good thing he did?
• 13:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, there's something that it's just– I don't know if
• 14:02
  Speaker 1: it's just like we want to bring everybody down or
• 14:05
  Speaker 1: that it's just that that's become such a marketable thing.
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I guess that's what it is. But it's like
• 14:11
  Speaker 3: it's only because it's like a big thing. You know
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: you can get hits off it. So like nobody is
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: like doing a documentary about– I don't know, about you.
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: And it's like, yeah, he might have the successful podcast
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: right now. But, you know, when he was in high school,
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: he fucked a fat chick.
• 14:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Maybe you don't know about the fat chick.
• 14:26
  Speaker 3: It wasn't always this.
• 14:28
  Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you weren't at the lakefront one night with him,
• 14:30
  Speaker 2: you know.
• 14:31
  Speaker 1: We bought some bad weed and kept smoking it to
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: pretend we fucking didn't waste our money.
• 14:35
  Speaker 2: Pass it, dude.
• 14:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He interviewed our high school friends. Like, yeah, we
• 14:39
  Speaker 3: kept waiting for him to pass it. And then he
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: didn't pass it. Yeah. And then he went back into
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: that room with that fat chick.
• 14:44
  Speaker 2: He's going to hell, man. Yeah. Yeah, it's funny. It's, uh...
• 14:48
  Speaker 2: But do you feel like you have... Do you feel like...
• 14:53
  Speaker 2: I guess I wonder, do you feel like more free
• 14:56
  Speaker 2: or less free kind of after, like, you had everything happen?
• 14:59
  Speaker 2: Or do you just feel... Does it even matter anymore?
• 15:02
  Speaker 3: That's just one of the times it's happened. It's just, like,
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: the latest or, like, the ones that other people saw. But, like,
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: there's plenty of other ones where everybody... Like, I did...
• 15:09
  Speaker 3: I fucking made fun of, um... Well, you see... Today's 9-11.
• 15:14
  Speaker 3: You're already seeing the, uh... I mean, this will air later,
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: I guess, but like you see that last week at 9-11. Yeah, yesterday.
• 15:22
  Speaker 3: And everyone's posting about themselves, you know, and making about themselves. Like,
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: I remember where I was. It's just so funny to me.
• 15:30
  Speaker 2: What if Renizzisi's having a tough day?
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: Every year. For sure. Every year. I have a tough
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: day just seeing the hacky jokes come at Renizzisi like
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: around me. I'm like, God damn. Everyone thinks they're so
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: fucking original. I'm like, dude, I've heard it a thousand times. Ugh. Yeah,
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: I'm sure he's.
• 15:48
  Speaker 2: Having a tough day. Did you feel like.
• 15:53
  Speaker 3: But I mean, like, oh, here's what I was going
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: to say. I posted one about Kenny Rogers.
• 15:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, Roaster's guy?
• 15:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I called him a racist. That's why he wouldn't
• 16:01
  Speaker 3: have fried chicken, only roasted chicken and stuff. And you
• 16:04
  Speaker 3: get all these middle-aged people like, you fucking suck. Fuck you.
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: How dare you? You know? And it's like, there's little
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: cancellations everywhere. And it's like, this is why I'll never
• 16:11
  Speaker 3: have a stand-up special. I'm like, I have a few.
• 16:13
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about?
• 16:15
  Speaker 2: We were watching some of your clips yesterday, man. I'm
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: trying to think of the bit that I was watching about.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: It was in the Comedy Cellar.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah?
• 16:22
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it looked like it just went up about a
• 16:23
  Speaker 2: month ago, but it was.
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: Oh. That Miami building falling down? Yes. Yeah. I mean,
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: it's fun, dude.
• 16:29
  Speaker 2: Dude, no, it was a funny... It was funny, man. Oh,
• 16:33
  Speaker 2: the whole... It was great, dude. I was sitting there
• 16:35
  Speaker 2: laughing with my friend.
• 16:36
  Speaker 3: I hit it early. My mom told me about it.
• 16:37
  Speaker 3: I was like, I don't know what you're talking... I
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: don't read the news anymore. My mom was like, I
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: don't even know what you're talking about. And then she
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: told me, and then I started just doing bits about it. Yeah.
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: I remember Attell, right when I moved to New York. No,
• 16:48
  Speaker 3: before that. He was like, he did a joke about
• 16:53
  Speaker 3: that Austrian guy who had a sex dungeon. He kept
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: the mom and the mom's kid down there. He kept
• 16:58
  Speaker 3: like a few people. He built a sex dungeon in
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: his castle or something. And he had a prisoner in there.
• 17:04
  Speaker 2: Oh, I believe that.
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: Kind of like the guy from Cleveland, but like high level. Oh, wow.
• 17:08
  Speaker 2: So like more wealthy?
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: Yeah, leader of the game.
• 17:10
  Speaker 2: Yosef Fritzi's dungeon.
• 17:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Wow. And Attell was like, hey, this joke won't
• 17:14
  Speaker 3: go over. For very long. But he's like, I got
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: three weeks when people still know the news story. And
• 17:19
  Speaker 3: he's like, that's his job is to milk that news story. Yeah.
• 17:21
  Speaker 2: I love that.
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: So, yeah.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow. That guy's a real dark artist right there.
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: He's a real dark artist.
• 17:28
  Speaker 2: Look at him.
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He looks like a glorious bastard.
• 17:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he does. He looks like a real mean crow
• 17:34
  Speaker 2: just living in his brain.
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah. He would stab you and let the life fall
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: out of you. And he would never change that face. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
• 17:43
  Speaker 3: This doesn't even get to me hard anymore. Yeah. Oh.
• 17:48
  Speaker 2: Sex slave would be so tough to be, I feel.
• 17:51
  Speaker 2: But at a certain point, you would probably just adapt
• 17:53
  Speaker 2: to it, right? I mean, that's the interesting thing about
• 17:54
  Speaker 2: being human or being alive. It's like you will adapt
• 17:58
  Speaker 2: to different things, whether they're good or bad, you will adapt.
• 18:01
  Speaker 3: I interviewed early on in my podcast, Skeptic Tank. I interviewed,
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: you've been on there, but I interviewed a couple of
• 18:06
  Speaker 3: Holocaust survivors. Did you really? Yeah, yeah.
• 18:09
  Speaker 2: Now, because I feel like sometimes in the Jewish community,
• 18:11
  Speaker 2: you'll be like, Holocaust survivor. This is the last. They
• 18:15
  Speaker 2: keep saying this is the last Holocaust survivor. And it's like,
• 18:17
  Speaker 2: come on. I think we just saw the last one.
• 18:20
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about? It's like The Undertaker.
• 18:22
  Speaker 2: You keep getting another Undertaker.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: Another Robin.
• 18:26
  Speaker 2: That's what I feel like.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: I feel like sometimes they keep bringing out like, this
• 18:29
  Speaker 1: is him. He's not even Jewish.
• 18:32
  Speaker 2: It's just a guy.
• 18:33
  Speaker 3: Dude, if I checked Obama's birth certificate, I'm going to
• 18:35
  Speaker 3: have to check your birth certificate. Where were you born?
• 18:37
  Speaker 2: Let's look at some docs. But I'll go on you.
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: How did you deal with it every day? And they
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: were real. They were both like, you get used to
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: it pretty fast. You just become like, this is your reality. Wow.
• 18:47
  Speaker 3: It's just like, and look at COVID too. It's just like,
• 18:50
  Speaker 3: it became the reality. Yeah. Pretty fast.
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: Did you find that whenever you ran into like, was it,
• 18:57
  Speaker 1: is it, was it weird that the people knew you online,
• 18:59
  Speaker 1: but in person they weren't, nobody was, did you run
• 19:02
  Speaker 1: into people that weren't angry at you and had no idea?
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: Like you'd walk past some Laker fans. They didn't care.
• 19:07
  Speaker 1: But online.
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: Nobody cares in person. Right. Online is so different. You've
• 19:11
  Speaker 3: seen comedians where they're like normal in person and then
• 19:14
  Speaker 3: online they're fucking crazy. Oh, yeah. And you're like, what?
• 19:18
  Speaker 3: But then you meet him again in person and you're like, oh,
• 19:20
  Speaker 3: you're still a normal guy.
• 19:21
  Speaker 2: Who's that guy?
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah. That's nuts. Yeah, no, nobody ever in person. Remember
• 19:25
  Speaker 3: the Amazing Races stuff? Yeah, totally. So I've been dealing
• 19:27
  Speaker 3: with death threats.
• 19:27
  Speaker 2: Remember we worked on that thing because we did that
• 19:29
  Speaker 2: ShamWow thing.
• 19:29
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 19:31
  Speaker 3: With Vince Osborne.
• 19:31
  Speaker 2: That's right. Yeah, we did new ones. We were in
• 19:34
  Speaker 2: that bad movie together.
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: With award-winning actor Adrian Brody.
• 19:37
  Speaker 4: Yeah, bro.
• 19:40
  Speaker 2: Can you believe that?
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: He played second fiddle to us.
• 19:44
  Speaker 2: Well, he played it in the pianist. I think he
• 19:45
  Speaker 2: played piano. God, that movie was good. But, dude, that movie.
• 19:50
  Speaker 2: movie that we were in was the worst movie ever.
• 19:52
  Speaker 3: The worst movie ever.
• 19:53
  Speaker 2: And then he remade it, and it was again the
• 19:55
  Speaker 2: worst movie.
• 19:56
  Speaker 3: He was like, no, I don't accept that. Like ABBA,
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: when they released here, three years later, you guys didn't
• 20:00
  Speaker 3: get it. We're going to re-release. And then it caught on.
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: Vince believed in himself.
• 20:05
  Speaker 2: Oh, Vince leaving himself like no end. That was crazy, man.
• 20:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, I forgot about that. Yeah. Yeah, Paziski was like,
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: he helped us write. Yes.
• 20:13
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that was amazing racist, man. That's when, because they
• 20:15
  Speaker 2: put that in the movie, right?
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. He was like, can I use those? I'm like,
• 20:18
  Speaker 3: they're not mine, but like, we can make more. Yeah.
• 20:21
  Speaker 3: He's like, really? I'm like, yeah, let's make more, dude.
• 20:23
  Speaker 3: Went down to the border. It was great. But anyway,
• 20:26
  Speaker 3: I would get tons of death threats early on. I
• 20:28
  Speaker 3: think I was like the first one to really, so
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: that's when I was the first one also like, these
• 20:31
  Speaker 3: aren't real, you guys.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: And that's when you get real mail too probably.
• 20:35
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. Phone calls. Oh, yeah. Oh, so listen. So
• 20:37
  Speaker 3: Duncan Trussell, he– I mean you got to remember like
• 20:40
  Speaker 3: the time.
• 20:41
  Speaker 2: I got to be on his podcast soon, Duncan, if
• 20:42
  Speaker 2: you're listening.
• 20:44
  Speaker 3: You're going to be or you got to be?
• 20:45
  Speaker 1: Well, I keep saying shouldn't I come on your podcast
• 20:48
  Speaker 1: because he came on one time and I owe him.
• 20:50
  Speaker 1: I feel like– and I love talking to him.
• 20:52
  Speaker 3: No, he's great. God, he's the best. He's great. And
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: he's got one ball. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Oh, wow. But
• 20:57
  Speaker 3: the sack still holds. So I've touched it. So it's
• 21:01
  Speaker 3: like a sack like this, you know? And then if
• 21:02
  Speaker 3: you touch one, it just goes. And the other one,
• 21:05
  Speaker 3: it's like full.
• 21:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, that's like if you lost your limb in an
• 21:08
  Speaker 1: accident or something, somebody can still sometimes like tickle you
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: on it?
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: No. No. It's not a phantom. It'd be like if
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: they took out your bones from your arm, and then
• 21:15
  Speaker 3: your arm would still hold like straight down, and then
• 21:18
  Speaker 3: it'd be all like spaghetti. It's just an empty sack.
• 21:21
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's wild.
• 21:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, like you're holding a grocery bag, and you take
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: out the groceries from the top. But it still stays?
• 21:26
  Speaker 3: It still holds its shape. Ooh. Yeah.
• 21:28
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: It's almost romantic, it feels like.
• 21:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah. What was I going to say about Duncan? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: So early on. So he had put on, it's one
• 21:37
  Speaker 3: of those amazing racist stuff. It was a National Lampoon sketch.
• 21:40
  Speaker 3: And somebody ripped it, put it on the internet, early YouTube.
• 21:43
  Speaker 3: And people were like, what the fuck is this? You know?
• 21:46
  Speaker 3: Everyone was like, what? And then, so if you Googled
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: my name, the first thing that came up was Duncan's
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: old website, artisticterrorist.com. Yeah. And he said, like, prank call
• 21:56
  Speaker 3: my friend Ari Shafir.
• 21:57
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 21:59
  Speaker 3: Here's his number. The best prank calls, I'll send you
• 22:01
  Speaker 3: $ 10 or something like that. So if you Google my name,
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: you didn't have to click on it. It just said
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: Ari Shafir, 323-656, whatever the number was back then. 6225,
• 22:12
  Speaker 3: or is that the store? I forget. But anyway. And
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: so then you Googled. So I just started getting phone calls,
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: one after another after another. No way.
• 22:21
  Speaker 2: Like, I'll build a deck in your ass, Holmes.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: At first, I was worried. For real, I was worried
• 22:26
  Speaker 3: a little bit. And after like four or five months,
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: it's like, this is dumb. This is never going to
• 22:30
  Speaker 3: do it. It's just online. It's just gamers.
• 22:33
  Speaker 1: And the internet was so good then too. When you
• 22:35
  Speaker 1: could do so, there was so much more propensity for
• 22:38
  Speaker 1: weird shit, man.
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: So Nick Mullen pointed this out to me. We're both
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: trolls from like a long time ago. Startup message boards
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: and like, you couldn't just like, do you remember a
• 22:46
  Speaker 3: special thing?
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: A special thing?
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It was an alt comedy message board. And they
• 22:53
  Speaker 3: started writing about comedians. It was the first time comedians
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: were being reviewed. No. It was mostly like.
• 22:58
  Speaker 2: Was it Seth Segan or whatever that fucking guy was?
• 23:00
  Speaker 3: No, no. Way, way, way before that. It was still
• 23:02
  Speaker 3: very positive. And they would just try to review shows.
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: Mostly comedy, death rate. Yep. Special thing. They did some
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: CDs eventually. Wow.
• 23:11
  Speaker 2: A comics comic. That is him.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it wasn't him. He was just probably reporting on it. Oh,
• 23:16
  Speaker 3: I see. Yeah. 2016. He was probably still a good
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: writer back then. But like... Anyway... So I'd go on
• 23:25
  Speaker 3: there and you start an account. You can't just start
• 23:27
  Speaker 3: a fake account. They see zero posts and your first
• 23:30
  Speaker 3: one is like, I don't know, who were their heroes
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: back then? Like Patton Oswalt is not as good as
• 23:34
  Speaker 3: you think. It's like, come on, man, you're clearly trolling.
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: You're just showing up. And I don't care about anything.
• 23:38
  Speaker 3: The troll doesn't have any allegiance to what he's saying.
• 23:40
  Speaker 3: The troll is just here to anger you. Yeah. So
• 23:42
  Speaker 3: you'd have to like get an account going and like
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: post like for like a couple months of like, I
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: love Patton Oswalt. I love Brian Posehn. Oh, the Louis C.K.
• 23:52
  Speaker 3: joke is great.
• 23:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, things are going well.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah, have you seen this comic? He's so funny.
• 23:55
  Speaker 2: Gore, how about Gore?
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah, Bush is bad, huh? Whatever they need. And then
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: you start with the negative. It's so great. But it
• 24:03
  Speaker 3: would take us a lot of work to really get
• 24:05
  Speaker 3: a good troll. Yeah. And Nick, he's a troll too.
• 24:09
  Speaker 3: He's like, all right, this is the golden age of trolling.
• 24:12
  Speaker 3: Now you can just put out one thing. And reach
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: like a million people. It's the best time to make
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: people angry over nothing. Yeah.
• 24:20
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and now it's like people are just waiting. And
• 24:22
  Speaker 1: now the longevity of things don't even, it's not even there.
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: I mean, it's gone so fast. It almost is, sadly,
• 24:29
  Speaker 1: it's like even if you die, it's like that used
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: to be a thing. I remember like when a famous
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: person would die, we'd be at school and be like, man,
• 24:35
  Speaker 1: this shit is heartbreaking. Like I remember I told people
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Jay Leno died one time. We were going on like
• 24:40
  Speaker 1: a camping trip for four days.
• 24:41
  Speaker 2: And so nobody knew that he didn't. So I had this,
• 24:45
  Speaker 2: I was the only one.
• 24:46
  Speaker 3: Pre-internet, you can get a good rumor going.
• 24:47
  Speaker 2: So for four days, man, people were bummed out.
• 24:50
  Speaker 3: Nice.
• 24:51
  Speaker 2: And it was like, it was just trolling in real time.
• 24:53
  Speaker 1: I was hugging people. We were just talking about doing impersonations.
• 24:58
  Speaker 1: I would use it to hug the fucking hot chick.
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like, it's so sad about Jay Leno. She's like,
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: who are you?
• 25:05
  Speaker 3: Come on, give me the hug you owe to me.
• 25:07
  Speaker 3: I know someone who does.
• 25:07
  Speaker 1: One girl made me only hug her from the back
• 25:09
  Speaker 1: because she said I pressed my body against hers too.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: Hard from the front. But then you could just touch
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: her tits from the back.
• 25:14
  Speaker 2: Yeah, but she would kind of move my arms down
• 25:16
  Speaker 2: the side by her arms. Smart. It was pretty sad, yeah.
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: Trying to get a rub?
• 25:21
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she made me be like a seal almost. It
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: was almost like... Like putting seals in line.
• 25:26
  Speaker 3: It's like when you get a stripper and she's dancing
• 25:27
  Speaker 3: on you. She's like, no touching. You're like, yeah, but
• 25:29
  Speaker 3: you could understand why I would. It's not like unheard of.
• 25:35
  Speaker 2: Immediately I turn into a lawyer if there's a stripper
• 25:37
  Speaker 2: on your lap. But you see the situation.
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: There's a bit of entrapment on your part. I mean,
• 25:42
  Speaker 3: you are gyrating on my hard dick. That's the best deal.
• 25:50
  Speaker 3: Like when they did find out that Jay Leno's still alive,
• 25:52
  Speaker 3: you're like, well, now enjoy this time.
• 25:54
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: You have a second lease on life with Jay Leno.
• 25:56
  Speaker 2: But the best, yeah.
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: The best thing is I should have just, but then
• 26:05
  Speaker 1: when they found out there was no way for them
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: to text you, but hey, Jay Leno's a lot like,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: it was just you laying at home.
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: Just knowing it's, you have to know it's going to
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: pay off and you're not going to be there for it.
• 26:18
  Speaker 1: It was this like very Mozartian type of thing where
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: you just, or like almost like when Andy Dufresne is
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: just sitting in the place and you still hear the,
• 26:25
  Speaker 1: the record player playing.
• 26:26
  Speaker 2: And the world's beating on the door. And he's just
• 26:29
  Speaker 2: listening to that music, you know, in Shawshank Redemption.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Those were the days, but now that is gone. And
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: it's just a complete attack.
• 26:39
  Speaker 3: Plus, there's cameras everywhere, too, so you can't even do crimes.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: It's a different time. You've got to figure out the
• 26:43
  Speaker 3: ways to handle it.
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: I've got to tell you, you've used a phone before.
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: Some people never used a phone. Some people don't even
• 26:51
  Speaker 1: have hands on their body. But after years of fine
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: print contracts and getting ripped off by big wireless, if
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: we've learned anything, it's that there's always a catch. So
• 27:01
  Speaker 1: when I first heard that Mint Mobile offers premium wireless
• 27:05
  Speaker 1: service starting at $ 15 a month, I thought, what's the catch?
• 27:08
  Speaker 1: But after speaking with them and using their service, it
• 27:10
  Speaker 1: all made sense.
• 27:12
  Speaker 2: There isn't one.
• 27:14
  Speaker 1: Mint Mobile, they got the secret sauce. They're the first
• 27:17
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  Speaker 1: slash Theo. Is there something interfering with your happiness? And
• 28:09
  Speaker 1: I'm not talking about your wife or husband. I'm talking
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: about something.
• 28:11
  Speaker 2: Inside of you. Do you have something in you that
• 28:15
  Speaker 2: just won't stop? Is it some worm?
• 28:16
  Speaker 3: You got that worm.
• 28:18
  Speaker 2: Well, better help. They can help.
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  Speaker 1: They'll assess your needs. They'll get you help. The kind
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• 28:31
  Speaker 1: Do you live in a community where you don't want
• 28:33
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• 29:19
  Speaker 3: In college, I remember somebody asking me like, you know
• 29:21
  Speaker 3: when you know somebody, but you never fully learn their name,
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: but you've known them too long to ask?
• 29:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, yeah. I remember him.
• 29:28
  Speaker 3: Like, I don't know him. Yeah, so if somebody goes like, hey,
• 29:29
  Speaker 3: who is that about you? Right? I'm like, what's his
• 29:32
  Speaker 3: name again? I'm like, I would always be like, it's John.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: And then they would go to you, Theo Vaughn, and
• 29:38
  Speaker 3: then they'd make a point to say your name because
• 29:39
  Speaker 3: they just learned it.
• 29:40
  Speaker 2: They'd be like, hey, John, how you doing, buddy? All right,
• 29:42
  Speaker 2: see you later, John.
• 29:43
  Speaker 3: They'd do that for like a day or two until
• 29:46
  Speaker 3: you'd be like, no, I'm Theo, man. And then they'd
• 29:48
  Speaker 3: come running back to you, like, why did you tell
• 29:50
  Speaker 3: me his name was John?
• 29:51
  Speaker 2: And you're like, right?
• 29:52
  Speaker 3: I bet it's pretty embarrassing.
• 29:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 29:58
  Speaker 1: There's something about having, like, mild anarchy like that. Like,
• 30:02
  Speaker 1: there was something that doesn't exist anymore, and you can't
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: lie about yourself anymore.
• 30:06
  Speaker 2: That's one of the worst things.
• 30:07
  Speaker 3: You can't what?
• 30:08
  Speaker 2: You can't lie about yourself anymore.
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: You used to be able to be like, yeah, I'm
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: going to, you know, I'm doing medical school, or I
• 30:14
  Speaker 1: was an orphan, or I have a twin brother I've
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: never met. You used to be able to, like, create
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: an ambiance, you know, albeit false or whatever.
• 30:22
  Speaker 3: We had comics who would, like, say, like, when we started,
• 30:24
  Speaker 3: when I started the store, it was like, The internet
• 30:27
  Speaker 3: wasn't fully going yet. It was a few couple years away.
• 30:29
  Speaker 3: And they're like, I'm famous on the East Coast. And
• 30:30
  Speaker 3: you're like, oh, cool. But then I played football at
• 30:32
  Speaker 3: this college. Within a year or two, you're like, I
• 30:34
  Speaker 3: can look up stats from every college football team of
• 30:37
  Speaker 3: all time. And I don't see Parisi in there. So like,
• 30:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know. What do you mean? Like, wow, you
• 30:43
  Speaker 3: didn't have any stats for the whole year? It was Parisi.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: And he's like, the gig is up. You got to
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: get unverifiable lies, bro. It wasn't your fault.
• 30:54
  Speaker 2: No.
• 30:55
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of some things that I would
• 30:56
  Speaker 1: tell back then. A lot of it I felt like
• 30:58
  Speaker 1: because I was so embarrassed about where we lived and stuff.
• 31:00
  Speaker 2: I would just say.
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: You're poor, right?
• 31:02
  Speaker 1: Yes, I would just say things to people. It was
• 31:04
  Speaker 1: always to girls. Yeah, I'm just. My family, we were
• 31:07
  Speaker 1: displaced or something. Because that was one thing about Louisiana.
• 31:09
  Speaker 1: You could easily get displaced.
• 31:11
  Speaker 3: From what? Hurricanes?
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: Hurricanes, rodentry, something like that. Usually like a. We had
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: a lot of crazy rodentry in our area. And we
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: had a lot of hurricanes.
• 31:20
  Speaker 3: So it was like. Rodentry? Rodentry? Rodentry.
• 31:23
  Speaker 2: Rodentry.
• 31:25
  Speaker 3: What are you saying? Animalia.
• 31:27
  Speaker 2: Not Narnia.
• 31:29
  Speaker 3: What?
• 31:30
  Speaker 2: What's a big animal?
• 31:31
  Speaker 3: Nutria. Nutria.
• 31:32
  Speaker 2: Nutria rats. And then do, what do they do?
• 31:35
  Speaker 1: So if people, homes got too infested or infected, then yeah,
• 31:41
  Speaker 1: they had to.
• 31:42
  Speaker 3: And then you just give up your home?
• 31:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, so we'd be like, oh yeah. We had a
• 31:46
  Speaker 2: nice holiday, yeah.
• 31:47
  Speaker 3: You ever eat one of those?
• 31:48
  Speaker 2: No, I've never eaten them.
• 31:49
  Speaker 3: Swamp rats.
• 31:50
  Speaker 2: But we got a great question actually that came in
• 31:52
  Speaker 2: for you.
• 31:53
  Speaker 3: Look at this loser. You can't take it. Dude, why
• 31:54
  Speaker 3: are you wearing your mask on your chin? Just take
• 31:56
  Speaker 3: it off. If you want to make a fucking splash, dude.
• 31:59
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 31:59
  Speaker 3: Unless he has a gross chin, then I guess leave
• 32:01
  Speaker 3: it on. Yeah, he's got that.
• 32:03
  Speaker 2: He could be hiding behind a beard chin. I think
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: this guy looks handsome, honestly. No, bro.
• 32:07
  Speaker 3: Dude, you can't really compliment people. It doesn't really work
• 32:10
  Speaker 3: that way.
• 32:10
  Speaker 2: Why can't you get it so easy? I think this
• 32:12
  Speaker 2: guy's handsome.
• 32:13
  Speaker 3: No, his nostrils are too big. Yeah, you're right, man.
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: This guy's got so many problems.
• 32:17
  Speaker 3: I used to love doing that with Tebow and Tripoli
• 32:19
  Speaker 3: and- Who was that chick that was on the Sports
• 32:22
  Speaker 3: Illustrated Swimsuit Issue cover? Big tits.
• 32:24
  Speaker 2: Claudia Shepard?
• 32:25
  Speaker 3: No, way later. And then she got a little chubby.
• 32:28
  Speaker 3: She did those World of Warcraft ads. Oh, Kate Olsen.
• 32:31
  Speaker 3: Kate Upton.
• 32:32
  Speaker 2: Kate Upton.
• 32:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, and they would talk about how hot she was.
• 32:34
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, meh. They're like, what do you mean, ma'am?
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: I cut your chin. His chin's off. They get so mad,
• 32:39
  Speaker 3: but it's so much more fun to shit on people.
• 32:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 32:42
  Speaker 3: Anyway, fuck this guy. He looks like Down Syndrome. Go ahead,
• 32:45
  Speaker 3: Down Syndrome. Let's see if you can get your question
• 32:47
  Speaker 3: out clearly.
• 32:47
  Speaker 2: If this guy's Down Syndrome, he's the Romeo of Down Syndrome.
• 32:51
  Speaker 3: He's crushing it.
• 32:52
  Speaker 2: He's crushing Down Syndrome. Yeah, this guy's Down Syndrome.
• 32:56
  Speaker 5: Yeah.
• 32:58
  Speaker 2: I'm going to eat your ass.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: All right. What's up, Theo, Nick, Ari? Question for you.
• 33:04
  Speaker 3: Is he jerking off? What was it like living in
• 33:06
  Speaker 3: Ecuador this year? And did you happen to eat any kuih? A.K.A.
• 33:12
  Speaker 3: Guinea Pig. This guy's Latino the way he said it.
• 33:15
  Speaker 3: Gang gang. Go Lakers.
• 33:18
  Speaker 2: Fuck you, dude. Fuck the Lakers. That wasn't a real championship,
• 33:20
  Speaker 2: you cunt. Oh, my God. You fucking sprang it on me.
• 33:23
  Speaker 3: All right. First of all, I'd like to apologize for
• 33:25
  Speaker 3: making fun of the fucking head's chin scarf before. I
• 33:28
  Speaker 3: realize what you were doing now. You were trying to
• 33:29
  Speaker 3: hurt me. And it worked, bro. And it worked.
• 33:33
  Speaker 2: Did you think he was being hurtful there? I felt
• 33:34
  Speaker 2: like he was being kind of like.
• 33:36
  Speaker 3: Jabby hurtful. Fun. Really? Yeah.
• 33:39
  Speaker 2: But I think in another way, he cares. He wanted
• 33:41
  Speaker 2: to send in a question. He did care.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 33:44
  Speaker 1: And he's not being mean. I feel like a lot,
• 33:45
  Speaker 1: are a lot of Lakers fans forgiving to you? If you,
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: if anybody said.
• 33:48
  Speaker 3: Well, generally Laker fans are dumb. They're like a, not
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: an intelligent species, you know? Really? Yeah.
• 33:53
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 33:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You'll see them with their, with their, the flags
• 33:55
  Speaker 3: all the time, but then when they're bad, they took
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: the flags off because they don't really support the team.
• 33:58
  Speaker 3: You know, they're just kind of morons who need something
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: to believe in because they don't have good lives, good jobs,
• 34:03
  Speaker 3: good families. Their lives are ugly generally. And, um, And
• 34:07
  Speaker 3: so it takes some making up, you know. So they
• 34:10
  Speaker 3: lash out. But this guy seemed cool. I don't know.
• 34:13
  Speaker 2: So they lash out. That's a great question, though. And
• 34:15
  Speaker 2: that's really what it's based on is that, man. Did
• 34:16
  Speaker 2: you have any?
• 34:17
  Speaker 3: I did have kui a bunch of times. It's guinea pig.
• 34:20
  Speaker 3: It's in the Andes, in the Ecuadorian Andes. And I
• 34:22
  Speaker 3: think maybe Peruvian. So I went for COVID, too. I
• 34:25
  Speaker 3: went to Ecuador for six months. Yeah. I just fucking,
• 34:28
  Speaker 3: same as you, but like I went somewhere else.
• 34:30
  Speaker 2: Did you, what were some things that were real nice
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: about being out there?
• 34:34
  Speaker 3: First of all, well. Well, the guinea pig was so fucking,
• 34:39
  Speaker 3: it was like duck. It was so fucking good. And
• 34:42
  Speaker 3: I mean, you'd have it at truck stops. You'd have
• 34:43
  Speaker 3: it at nice restaurants. But it's just this whole thing
• 34:46
  Speaker 3: splayed out like this. And they'd leave their teeth on. Ugh. Yeah,
• 34:51
  Speaker 3: but I mean, I would just destroy it. Really?
• 34:53
  Speaker 2: Yeah, one, it took like- You put it in a
• 34:54
  Speaker 2: chili or something, or chile?
• 34:56
  Speaker 3: No, you can, but you put a spit in it,
• 34:57
  Speaker 3: and then it just like turns. And it's just like
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: straight through his ass, through his mouth. Oh, dude.
• 35:02
  Speaker 2: I used to sell them growing up. That shit is harrowing.
• 35:04
  Speaker 2: I know that's one of the reasons why you asked, too.
• 35:06
  Speaker 3: Oh, it was so fucking good. But this other shit,
• 35:09
  Speaker 3: too- Imagine that, putting anything in their butt like that.
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: I guess when they're deceased, probably they do it, huh?
• 35:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're already dead. Because we saw a bunch of
• 35:16
  Speaker 3: them like kind of skinned. But the skin is so hard. Man,
• 35:19
  Speaker 3: it was so good.
• 35:20
  Speaker 2: And what are they doing with the furs? Are you
• 35:22
  Speaker 2: seeing things that they're doing with the furs?
• 35:24
  Speaker 3: No, I didn't, but they probably sell them or something
• 35:26
  Speaker 3: or make, like, shit out of it. Like, they're poor there, so.
• 35:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, can you look up Cooey fur for us? Yeah.
• 35:33
  Speaker 3: I don't know why you didn't see that. But it
• 35:35
  Speaker 3: was just being away from the American news.
• 35:38
  Speaker 2: Was that really nice?
• 35:39
  Speaker 3: I didn't find out who won the election for, like,
• 35:41
  Speaker 3: three weeks, four weeks. It was a leaked text.
• 35:44
  Speaker 2: We never found out.
• 35:45
  Speaker 3: I didn't know that until later. I would be like
• 35:47
  Speaker 3: to Jez, I don't know who won the election. He goes, well,
• 35:48
  Speaker 3: it's nobody. And I'm like, oh, really? Like, I was
• 35:51
  Speaker 3: still figuring it out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, that's it.
• 35:55
  Speaker 3: Top left. It's so fucking good.
• 35:57
  Speaker 2: And what did they put under it? Melon or something?
• 35:59
  Speaker 3: Put whatever you want under it. Oh, that's these cheese things.
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: It's like cheese potato things. I forget what they're called now.
• 36:08
  Speaker 2: How was the food down there? This is unbelievable.
• 36:10
  Speaker 3: So fresh. So delicious. So this is a delicacy, Cuy.
• 36:14
  Speaker 1: So this is a wealthy man's treat? It's like 20 bucks,
• 36:17
  Speaker 1: 25 bucks. See, that's what breaks my heart then.
• 36:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like truck stop people could have it.
• 36:24
  Speaker 3: You could do a quarter, you know, but not every day.
• 36:27
  Speaker 3: Although some people just caught their own. They're everywhere. Oh, really?
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: Anthony Bourdain was like, he went down. I didn't see it,
• 36:32
  Speaker 3: but I heard he did an episode there. And he
• 36:35
  Speaker 3: was like, this could solve world hunger, man. Just get
• 36:38
  Speaker 3: over the fucking second grade shit when you saw them
• 36:40
  Speaker 3: when they were cute. It'd be great.
• 36:42
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's the part I think is the tough part.
• 36:44
  Speaker 1: Because they're really, they're almost like a pony just really
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: compromised into a really small space.
• 36:49
  Speaker 2: What I got lucky in is... Like a ground pony.
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: First, I had one. And then I went to... The
• 36:55
  Speaker 3: equator goes through there. And they have this little setup.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: And they're really good about education about all the different
• 36:58
  Speaker 3: indigenous people there and all the different parts of their country.
• 37:02
  Speaker 3: From the Galapagos to the Amazon to the mountains and
• 37:04
  Speaker 3: different tribes and stuff. And so... In this exhibit, they
• 37:07
  Speaker 3: had a bunch of guinea pigs. And they're like, this
• 37:10
  Speaker 3: is part of the Andean tradition and stuff like that.
• 37:13
  Speaker 3: But I already eaten it. But man, those guinea pigs
• 37:16
  Speaker 3: were so fucking cute that I don't know if I
• 37:17
  Speaker 3: could have after I saw those guinea pigs.
• 37:20
  Speaker 1: They're so beautiful, man. I mean, that's the thing. That's
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: one thing I think that's real fascinating about them. And
• 37:25
  Speaker 1: a lot of where I'm from, they use them to
• 37:26
  Speaker 1: teach you about your grandparents. A lot of people, if
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: your grandparents getting sick, your family gets you a guinea
• 37:31
  Speaker 1: pig and then the guinea pig dies.
• 37:33
  Speaker 2: And that's how you learn about them.
• 37:34
  Speaker 3: And then the grandparents are like, oh, that's going to
• 37:35
  Speaker 3: happen to me. Yeah. What?
• 37:37
  Speaker 2: Or the parents will say, this is going to happen
• 37:39
  Speaker 2: to Grandpa, you know?
• 37:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, to the kids.
• 37:41
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like a little gateway to death, a little
• 37:43
  Speaker 2: stair step. Can you Google it on the cute one?
• 37:45
  Speaker 2: Can you just look at that cute picture of him?
• 37:48
  Speaker 3: There we go. I wonder if that's... I mean, look
• 37:50
  Speaker 3: at that. Oh, Puneo Peru. I mean, look at that.
• 37:55
  Speaker 3: Consider it a delicacy.
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's... Now, what's the meatiest part? That back strap?
• 38:01
  Speaker 2: That rump?
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: Underneath the belly.
• 38:03
  Speaker 5: Oh.
• 38:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, the skin is so hard that you really can't.
• 38:06
  Speaker 2: Where it keeps all its hopes and dreams, too.
• 38:07
  Speaker 3: Where it keeps its thoughts. Yeah, I could have a family.
• 38:09
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get a family. You're like, yeah, ain't.
• 38:14
  Speaker 1: Oh, this one, like tribal music. What if you ate
• 38:16
  Speaker 1: it and you knew what they liked? Wouldn't that be crazy?
• 38:19
  Speaker 3: What they were into. Yeah, I would like, if you
• 38:21
  Speaker 3: really want to go delicacy, you find their family, keep
• 38:23
  Speaker 3: them alive while they let them watch you eat. They're dead.
• 38:28
  Speaker 3: The provider.
• 38:29
  Speaker 1: And that right there is Ari Shavir. That is a
• 38:31
  Speaker 1: perfect example of Ari Shavir. Of going to a— that you
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: would put one under a bright lamp.
• 38:37
  Speaker 2: He's sitting there.
• 38:39
  Speaker 3: Tape his eyelids open.
• 38:40
  Speaker 4: Dad!
• 38:41
  Speaker 2: Dad, no! Wow, that's amazing, man.
• 38:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, so like no news, none of the anger when
• 38:50
  Speaker 3: they did the fucking— Now, did you have a phone
• 38:52
  Speaker 3: on you? Yeah, but with an Ecuadorian number. Right. So
• 38:56
  Speaker 3: I could check in online. I would do Zoom podcasts
• 38:58
  Speaker 3: here or there. It wasn't as like away as I'd
• 39:00
  Speaker 3: really like to be. But still, like, they don't give
• 39:02
  Speaker 3: a fuck about. Like, I tried to avoid the newspaper
• 39:05
  Speaker 3: to see if I could not, like, find out about
• 39:06
  Speaker 3: the election. But then I did see a newspaper, and
• 39:08
  Speaker 3: it wasn't reported. Wow. It's, like, not their country. Why
• 39:11
  Speaker 3: would they care? So, like, none of this shit. What's
• 39:15
  Speaker 3: that song? The only news I need is a weather report.
• 39:20
  Speaker 3: Who is that? Not Bill and Sebastian. No, it's fucking 2-0.
• 39:25
  Speaker 2: Dan and Shay?
• 39:26
  Speaker 3: Not Dan and Shay. I just met Shay, though. He's
• 39:28
  Speaker 3: a nice guy. Is he? Yeah.
• 39:30
  Speaker 2: They did a song with Justin Bieber that I really like, actually.
• 39:32
  Speaker 3: Yeah, that's it. Simon and Garfunkel. But it's just about like,
• 39:35
  Speaker 3: it's the only living boy in New York. That's right.
• 39:37
  Speaker 3: It's just like that lyric, like the only news I
• 39:39
  Speaker 3: need is the weather. This is the only thing that's
• 39:41
  Speaker 3: going to help me. Is it nice out? Oh, that's
• 39:42
  Speaker 3: a good point. The rest is just, you know, someone's
• 39:45
  Speaker 3: just like, can you believe? You want to get angry?
• 39:47
  Speaker 3: Watch this thing.
• 39:48
  Speaker 2: Oh, it totally is. So then, why do we do
• 39:52
  Speaker 2: it then? Why do we go for the... Anger? Yeah,
• 39:59
  Speaker 2: why do... If I know.
• 40:00
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:01
  Speaker 1: And Jordan Peterson says he thinks a lot of this
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: is just we're unable to.
• 40:08
  Speaker 2: It's so strong now, like the way it's packaged, the
• 40:11
  Speaker 2: way it's put together. It's in the phone. It's in
• 40:12
  Speaker 2: the screen.
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: It's like it's so addictive that we can't escape. But
• 40:17
  Speaker 1: it's tough because it's like sometimes I will make the choice.
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: I know if I look at this how I'm going
• 40:22
  Speaker 1: to feel.
• 40:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 40:23
  Speaker 2: And I'll still do it, you know?
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: But it's like, you know when you ever hear somebody
• 40:27
  Speaker 3: talk shit about you? Somebody's like, hey, so-and-so is saying something.
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: And it's like, it's of course going to make you
• 40:33
  Speaker 3: mad and it should. But it's also like, why are
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: you telling me that, dude? Why would you tell me
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: about gossip? That's not supposed to be to me. Right.
• 40:41
  Speaker 3: You know? That's you guys talking about me. Why did
• 40:44
  Speaker 3: you share it? You're just going to make me feel bad.
• 40:47
  Speaker 3: It's not like, hey, watch out. That guy's reporting to
• 40:49
  Speaker 3: your boss. You better do something about it.
• 40:50
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 40:51
  Speaker 3: It's like, I can't even do anything about it. It's like,
• 40:55
  Speaker 3: you're the asshole for spreading it. Yeah. Remember that guy
• 40:57
  Speaker 3: who fucking spread Tony Hinchcliffe's joke that he riffed on
• 41:02
  Speaker 3: this comic and he was making fun of him? And
• 41:04
  Speaker 3: then the guy was like, this is hurtful to the
• 41:05
  Speaker 3: Asian community. And then he spreads it from 70 people
• 41:08
  Speaker 3: to 70 million. And you're like, then why are you
• 41:10
  Speaker 3: hurting the Asian community, you cunt? Yeah.
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: Or it's the same thing when, like, somebody will say
• 41:14
  Speaker 1: a certain word they're not supposed to say. Somebody will
• 41:16
  Speaker 1: drop the M-bomb.
• 41:17
  Speaker 3: Sure, sure, sure.
• 41:18
  Speaker 2: Or do something or, you know, K-I-K-E or something.
• 41:21
  Speaker 3: Is that the bad one? No, it doesn't have the same.
• 41:24
  Speaker 3: It doesn't? No.
• 41:25
  Speaker 2: Oh, dang. Well, they got to tell us that, dude.
• 41:26
  Speaker 2: We would use it.
• 41:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 41:27
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying?
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: Go for kike. Everybody, free reign. Go for kike. Okay, okay.
• 41:31
  Speaker 3: It's back.
• 41:32
  Speaker 2: But it's back.
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: Not a single, I mean, it's, I don't know when
• 41:38
  Speaker 3: the last time a Jew would have been upset about kike.
• 41:40
  Speaker 2: Oh, wow.
• 41:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah.
• 41:41
  Speaker 2: Oh yeah. We got to let people know that. Write
• 41:43
  Speaker 2: that down.
• 41:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Interest rates. Don't say interest rates.
• 41:47
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 41:48
  Speaker 3: Go for it.
• 41:52
  Speaker 1: But it's like, but then here's what, here's what, here's
• 41:56
  Speaker 1: the messed up part. The group making the article, they're
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: the ones then spread. It's like, They're the ones spreading
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: and then profiting off of it. That's what always burns me.
• 42:06
  Speaker 1: It's like, you're just telling people this so you can
• 42:08
  Speaker 1: make money. You're the one really telling everyone.
• 42:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Gia Tolentano, this writer, she used to write for Vulture,
• 42:14
  Speaker 3: I think. One of those things that makes everybody angry.
• 42:19
  Speaker 3: And she wrote this great book, Trick Mirror. And it's
• 42:21
  Speaker 3: all about internet culture and stuff like that. And she goes,
• 42:24
  Speaker 3: people used to get mad at me for the articles
• 42:26
  Speaker 3: I wrote. Not understanding that my editor told me to
• 42:30
  Speaker 3: write articles that would make people mad. Yeah. And it's like,
• 42:34
  Speaker 3: I mean, that's what I'm going for. Yeah. To get
• 42:36
  Speaker 3: you angry enough to come back to this fucking magazine.
• 42:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 42:40
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 42:40
  Speaker 1: I mean, Stephen A. Smith does it good. I've heard
• 42:42
  Speaker 1: stories from the production there of Stephen A. Smith and
• 42:44
  Speaker 1: Skip Bayless and those guys that they have no idea
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: what they're even saying anymore. They are literally putting out
• 42:49
  Speaker 1: as many clips as they can of controversial stuff.
• 42:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You want that for it to go. Yeah.
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Well, I remember whenever, like, so whenever you had the
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: thing with the Lakers, with the Kobe thing, were you
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: shocked at how some comics treated you or behaved towards
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: you or responded?
• 43:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, at first. But, I mean, like, you can't really
• 43:10
  Speaker 3: be upset when you try to troll people, and you
• 43:12
  Speaker 3: do troll them, you know, and you get them to
• 43:14
  Speaker 3: be upset. Oh, interesting. I mean, like, I don't like
• 43:17
  Speaker 3: to root against the Lakers, but, like. It's just sports.
• 43:20
  Speaker 3: I don't really care. But I've been shitting on the
• 43:22
  Speaker 3: Lakers for 20 years since they started killing shows in L.A.
• 43:24
  Speaker 3: during the playoffs. I'm like, fuck the Lakers.
• 43:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's a good point.
• 43:27
  Speaker 3: I started really reveling in the fucking hatred of them.
• 43:30
  Speaker 2: Oh, that would be the worst, too, dude.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: That happened to me a couple times. We're like, oh, yeah,
• 43:33
  Speaker 1: we're not going to do it tonight because they made
• 43:34
  Speaker 1: it to a game five.
• 43:34
  Speaker 3: I'm like, it's game fucking four, and they're up 3-0,
• 43:37
  Speaker 3: and it's the first round. Like, come on, you fucking
• 43:39
  Speaker 3: fair-weather cunts. Come out to the Comedy Underground, places like that.
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: And the Lakers, I will say, it seemed like they just,
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: it's just too stacked. I don't like these stacked teams.
• 43:47
  Speaker 3: The whole thing. They're fucking collusion for sure. Fuck them.
• 43:52
  Speaker 3: This whole bot team now. I know. And that's a
• 43:54
  Speaker 3: fake championship last year. It was an AAU fucking championship.
• 43:57
  Speaker 3: Nobody respects that as a real championship two years ago. Yeah, yeah.
• 44:01
  Speaker 2: Two years ago.
• 44:02
  Speaker 3: But yeah, it's like you've, but then at first I
• 44:04
  Speaker 3: was like, God damn you guys, come on. Don't you know,
• 44:07
  Speaker 3: it's just a comic making a joke. Like, what are
• 44:08
  Speaker 3: you doing? Why would you take this stance? But then
• 44:11
  Speaker 3: you're like, step back. You're like, no, I got you.
• 44:13
  Speaker 3: I mean, you got angry at me trying to make
• 44:16
  Speaker 3: people angry at a fucking easy thing.
• 44:18
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so interesting. I was thinking about that last night.
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: It's weird when you walk the line because you want
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: to get people upset, but you don't want to get them.
• 44:33
  Speaker 3: So upset that they're like, So, like, a couple line
• 44:36
  Speaker 3: crosses to me were, like, you know, like, they'd call, like,
• 44:38
  Speaker 3: not me, but, like, other people. They'd call my manager
• 44:40
  Speaker 3: at home. Like, we'd come fuck you up. Yeah. Goddamn.
• 44:42
  Speaker 2: It was always Latinos, too, dude.
• 44:44
  Speaker 3: Yeah, or blacks or whatever, or just dumb Laker fans.
• 44:47
  Speaker 3: It's like no one from London gave a fuck about that,
• 44:50
  Speaker 3: you know? And they were like, huh? I mean, if
• 44:53
  Speaker 3: I'm going to fight in front of Rooney or something,
• 44:55
  Speaker 3: they'd be like, well, don't do that. You know? But
• 44:57
  Speaker 3: it's just like, yeah, I triggered you. But I did
• 44:59
  Speaker 3: enjoy that all these comics were like, if you don't
• 45:00
  Speaker 3: like a joke, just leave the room. It's not that hard.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: And then they got one that triggered them. And then
• 45:05
  Speaker 3: they didn't know how to just leave the room. They
• 45:07
  Speaker 3: had to take the stance of some jokes go too far.
• 45:10
  Speaker 3: For the first time in their lives, they were like,
• 45:12
  Speaker 3: some jokes go too far. And I'm like, yeah, I
• 45:14
  Speaker 3: feel like I exposed them into hypocrites. It was great.
• 45:17
  Speaker 3: I really enjoyed it.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: And that's what I was thinking yesterday because I even
• 45:20
  Speaker 1: watched like a reaction that I had to when it happened.
• 45:24
  Speaker 3: And I was like.
• 45:27
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I was trying to make, and it's different because
• 45:29
  Speaker 1: I feel almost differently now you watch it back.
• 45:31
  Speaker 2: It doesn't even have like the same.
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: It doesn't have the panache, right? So people are like,
• 45:34
  Speaker 3: too soon. I'm like, well, no, if you wait too long.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Which is always the issue with timing of jokes. Just
• 45:40
  Speaker 1: like you're saying with Chappelle, like with Dave Attell. And
• 45:44
  Speaker 1: Dave obviously is a big name for good comedians. I
• 45:46
  Speaker 1: just realized that, Chappelle and Attell.
• 45:47
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 45:48
  Speaker 2: A regular name like Dave gets you there.
• 45:50
  Speaker 3: Dave Chappelle, Dave Attell, Dave Taylor. The top three.
• 45:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, there you go.
• 45:53
  Speaker 3: The top three Daves, yeah.
• 45:55
  Speaker 2: David Duke also.
• 45:56
  Speaker 3: David Duke, one of the great leaders of our show.
• 45:58
  Speaker 2: Great early troller.
• 45:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, he was like, no, I actually love Jews and blacks.
• 46:02
  Speaker 3: I just say shit. It gets me votes for sure.
• 46:05
  Speaker 3: I like wearing white. What can I do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
• 46:09
  Speaker 2: Look, I even put this on late September.
• 46:11
  Speaker 3: You know what I'm saying?
• 46:12
  Speaker 2: You're not supposed to.
• 46:13
  Speaker 3: Yeah, after like, yeah.
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: Um, um, but no, I, that, that's one thing looking back,
• 46:18
  Speaker 1: I was like, this is also fascinating. Cause it's like,
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: it made me wonder, well, what, what choices am I
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: making and talking about? Because I'm scared of repercussions. What
• 46:28
  Speaker 1: choices am I making and talking about? Because do you
• 46:30
  Speaker 1: get involved with a mob? Cause like the mob is like, well,
• 46:32
  Speaker 1: let me go with them. I might not agree, but
• 46:33
  Speaker 1: let me just walk the line. And there's a safety
• 46:36
  Speaker 1: in that too. There's a safety in that dude. I
• 46:38
  Speaker 1: remember they had a news thing that came out like
• 46:40
  Speaker 1: a few years back about me. It was just about
• 46:42
  Speaker 1: It wasn't anything real bad, but it was just, it
• 46:44
  Speaker 1: wasn't anything bad really. It was just something about my
• 46:46
  Speaker 1: life and it was, but it was on, I remember
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: being at the gym and seeing on the ticker on
• 46:49
  Speaker 1: the bottom of like, it was a slow news day.
• 46:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 46:53
  Speaker 2: And they had my name on there.
• 46:54
  Speaker 3: That's cool.
• 46:55
  Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my God, everybody, but it
• 46:58
  Speaker 2: was so scary to me.
• 46:59
  Speaker 3: Well, they say you had a fake mullet. They say, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 47:02
  Speaker 3: You've been clipping on your mullet for years.
• 47:03
  Speaker 4: Like.
• 47:04
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 47:05
  Speaker 2: Sewing it in.
• 47:05
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 47:11
  Speaker 2: Sean comes over with Betsy Ross and sews it into
• 47:13
  Speaker 2: the back of my head.
• 47:14
  Speaker 3: It's like, we've got to get it ready. I'd be like, RR,
• 47:17
  Speaker 3: you can't mention this, by the way. Dude, I was
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: in Thailand at this fucking hippie place once, and some
• 47:22
  Speaker 3: lady sold tie-on dreads for white people so they could
• 47:25
  Speaker 3: live the life for the week that they were there.
• 47:29
  Speaker 2: But here's the crazy part. So whoever buys those and
• 47:32
  Speaker 2: puts them on, they get in trouble for cultural appropriation.
• 47:34
  Speaker 2: But the business of it just.
• 47:36
  Speaker 3: Keeps on booming.
• 47:37
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah.
• 47:38
  Speaker 3: Who do you think sells those Black Lives Matter shirts?
• 47:40
  Speaker 3: It's just some white dude who's like, I don't give
• 47:42
  Speaker 3: a fuck. I'm making this in Indonesia, and I'm fucking
• 47:46
  Speaker 3: cashing in. But yeah, so how did you feel when
• 47:49
  Speaker 3: you saw your name in the ticker, or what happened?
• 47:50
  Speaker 2: I felt overwhelmed. I remember calling the publicist, this guy
• 47:54
  Speaker 2: Rob Greenwald, great guy.
• 47:56
  Speaker 3: Is he?
• 47:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Rob's a great guy, man.
• 47:58
  Speaker 3: Great guy.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: Well, Rob, I remember, dude, I just now remember, I
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: saw him out. He went to see your Jew taping,
• 48:02
  Speaker 1: or Jew, you were running at the comedy store, and
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: I saw him right after, and he's like, I'm Jewish, man.
• 48:08
  Speaker 1: And I love, you know, he was just saying how
• 48:10
  Speaker 1: much he loved your special. I just remembered that. But anyway,
• 48:14
  Speaker 1: so yeah. I just remember just texting him or emailing
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: him and dude, I just make it stop.
• 48:20
  Speaker 2: I don't want, here's what it was.
• 48:21
  Speaker 1: It was too much stuff that was out of my
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: control happening at once that I had no control over
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: like little articles.
• 48:29
  Speaker 2: And, um, it was about dating. I dated like a
• 48:31
  Speaker 2: real housewives lady.
• 48:33
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 48:33
  Speaker 1: And so it was just a slow news day. So
• 48:37
  Speaker 1: for some reason it was just, but I remember being
• 48:40
  Speaker 1: in the gym and seeing it go on the ticker.
• 48:42
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, what?
• 48:43
  Speaker 2: Isn't there a stock or something?
• 48:44
  Speaker 3: That's how you found out about it?
• 48:45
  Speaker 2: That's supposed to be on there? Yeah. And then it
• 48:48
  Speaker 2: was all over.
• 48:48
  Speaker 1: And I remember texting my manager, Etai Rice, and this guy,
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: and Rob Greenwood, just being like, guys, can you make
• 48:54
  Speaker 1: it stop? And it wasn't bad. But it was just
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: something that was so out of my control. And I
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: feel like for me, as a comedian, you always want
• 49:03
  Speaker 1: to be able to control your little world. And that's
• 49:04
  Speaker 1: what's so scary about the media and the way things
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: are nowadays is that there's these other– tidal wave sometimes
• 49:12
  Speaker 1: that you have to be willing to fucking ride.
• 49:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah. You have to like sit back on the, like,
• 49:17
  Speaker 3: if you want to poke a bear, you can't be
• 49:18
  Speaker 3: that mad when the bear swings. back, you know?
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: Cause that's like, and I'm too afraid.
• 49:21
  Speaker 1: I think you're like a Kelly Slater.
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: I feel like you're willing to be out there on
• 49:26
  Speaker 2: the wave.
• 49:27
  Speaker 3: Like I didn't like all the negative stuff, but like,
• 49:30
  Speaker 3: The act on itself, that troll was maybe my best one.
• 49:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, I brought a city to its knees. Oh, yeah.
• 49:34
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean? So, like, it would have
• 49:36
  Speaker 3: been nice if it was two weeks after my special
• 49:38
  Speaker 3: taping instead of two weeks before. Oh, yeah. But, like,
• 49:41
  Speaker 3: I crushed that town, dude. I fucking crushed that town,
• 49:44
  Speaker 3: and I crushed all of L.A. comedy. I exposed them
• 49:46
  Speaker 3: for the fucking garbage hypocrites with no integrity that they are. Yeah.
• 49:51
  Speaker 3: With just a little pinprick of negativity on my own account,
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: and you just watch them spread it. Oh, it was
• 49:58
  Speaker 3: the best one. It was the best one.
• 50:00
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• 52:13
  Speaker 1: How long did it take you to get over? Because
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: I'm sure there was discomfort with it, too. I felt
• 52:19
  Speaker 1: discomfort because I just remember, is this so out of
• 52:22
  Speaker 1: his control? that it has to be harrowing in a bit.
• 52:26
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it was weird because like, so like we're comics, right?
• 52:28
  Speaker 3: So anytime something like that happens, we want to express
• 52:30
  Speaker 3: it and make jokes about it. But then it was
• 52:31
  Speaker 3: like they were doing this thing where they were taking
• 52:33
  Speaker 3: my Twitter feed and they'd be like galvanizing on there
• 52:38
  Speaker 3: and like doxing other people in my life. That's why
• 52:40
  Speaker 3: they put my manager's number and address on there. And
• 52:44
  Speaker 3: I'm like, what? And so Rob was like, dude, you
• 52:46
  Speaker 3: got to take that tweet down. They're using it to
• 52:49
  Speaker 3: attack others. And I'm like, God damn. So you had to, like,
• 52:52
  Speaker 3: make stuff private. But, like, I want to just keep
• 52:54
  Speaker 3: going back at them because who gives a fuck, you know?
• 52:56
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 52:56
  Speaker 3: Duncan was like, you should, like, make a bunch of stuff.
• 52:58
  Speaker 3: They threw a basketball through my window.
• 53:00
  Speaker 2: Make it crazier and crazier. Like Tim Dillon.
• 53:06
  Speaker 1: That would have been perfect if Tim Dillon was really
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: on his hype train or really was on his horse.
• 53:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 53:10
  Speaker 2: Because he's so good at just carrying stuff out into
• 53:13
  Speaker 2: the ether, you know?
• 53:15
  Speaker 3: Um, yeah, we did have a fun one, me and
• 53:17
  Speaker 3: Bert and, uh, and, uh, and Tom and we're all
• 53:19
  Speaker 3: talking about it and Rogan. And then we're like laughing
• 53:21
  Speaker 3: about it and stuff. Privately laughing about it, you know,
• 53:24
  Speaker 3: publicly he's called it worse than nine 11 and, uh,
• 53:27
  Speaker 3: and a fucking, uh, hurricane.
• 53:29
  Speaker 2: Is that what Joe said?
• 53:30
  Speaker 3: No, Bert, you know, it's only terrible like nine 11 or,
• 53:33
  Speaker 3: Or a tsunami or Kobe Bryant's death. You're like a
• 53:36
  Speaker 3: fucking idiot.
• 53:37
  Speaker 2: But in LA, it feels like that.
• 53:39
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 53:39
  Speaker 2: It really is. It's their Hurricane Ida. It's like, it
• 53:42
  Speaker 2: really is.
• 53:42
  Speaker 3: And they did not like you bringing up that fuck.
• 53:45
  Speaker 3: Remember when Phil Mickelson was great but hadn't won a major?
• 53:47
  Speaker 3: And it was like that thing, you know? That rape
• 53:50
  Speaker 3: thing was the thing. So that's what you poke at,
• 53:52
  Speaker 3: you know? But like, they hate you bringing it up.
• 53:55
  Speaker 3: They hate you bringing it up. They'll go after anybody
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: who does. That chick from Westworld mentioned it, and they
• 54:01
  Speaker 3: fucking went after her so fucking hard. That Rappaport dude
• 54:05
  Speaker 3: fucking went after her so fucking hard.
• 54:07
  Speaker 2: Oh, Rappaport's a freaking snake, dude.
• 54:10
  Speaker 3: That's funny.
• 54:11
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he's a, man. Whatever.
• 54:14
  Speaker 3: That's what he is.
• 54:14
  Speaker 2: That's what he is.
• 54:15
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 54:16
  Speaker 2: But is he just a troll?
• 54:19
  Speaker 3: So here's the deal. That's his art form, right? His
• 54:21
  Speaker 3: art form is to be a, not a contrarian, but a,
• 54:23
  Speaker 3: but a, but like I'm angry about something.
• 54:25
  Speaker 2: An instigator almost or something.
• 54:27
  Speaker 3: Not an instigator, but just to be mad about something. Yeah.
• 54:30
  Speaker 3: He'll walk along like those fucking, it's a fuck, like
• 54:32
  Speaker 3: a 20 year old walk. Like I know he looks
• 54:35
  Speaker 3: at that thing and you see him on the screen,
• 54:38
  Speaker 3: but that's a grown man walking on the sidewalk, talking
• 54:41
  Speaker 3: to his cell phone. Yeah. So like, but that's his thing, right?
• 54:44
  Speaker 3: So you have to allow him to do his thing.
• 54:46
  Speaker 3: You can't be mad just because the thing got pointed
• 54:47
  Speaker 3: at you. Right. Once, you know, he's looking to like
• 54:50
  Speaker 3: shit on things. So like, I went in there.
• 54:52
  Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's the weird thing. When you push that envelope.
• 54:55
  Speaker 3: I respect it.
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: Because that's what's so interesting. So you want to get
• 55:00
  Speaker 1: as much hype as you can out of stuff. But
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: when it gets, when that freaking big, like when the
• 55:06
  Speaker 1: big spin of the wheel really stops right on you,
• 55:09
  Speaker 1: it's almost like.
• 55:12
  Speaker 2: It's too much.
• 55:14
  Speaker 1: It's almost just like telling a joke and it just
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: is too far.
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: It's like. Because you're always risking telling the joke. That's
• 55:21
  Speaker 2: the line. You want to be right there at the line.
• 55:23
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you want to be right there at the line.
• 55:24
  Speaker 3: But the thing is, so like that guy in Providence
• 55:26
  Speaker 3: who was like, fuck you, it's not funny. To him,
• 55:28
  Speaker 3: it was over the line. The rest of the crowd
• 55:30
  Speaker 3: was fine. And then you've got to think, who's your crowd?
• 55:33
  Speaker 3: So if he tells that at a 9-11 memorial, well,
• 55:36
  Speaker 3: you're going to get a lot more people than who
• 55:38
  Speaker 3: were there in that Providence room. They're going to hate
• 55:40
  Speaker 3: me and say that was a terrible joke, shouldn't have
• 55:42
  Speaker 3: done it. Louis' fucking Parkland joke. Then it went out
• 55:45
  Speaker 3: to a bunch of people. who never should have heard it. Right.
• 55:47
  Speaker 3: And like know your audience. And it's like, yeah, we
• 55:50
  Speaker 3: do know our audience. It's my Twitter followers or my
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: audience in the room. It's not the people who aren't there. Yeah.
• 55:57
  Speaker 3: It's strange, but it's funny too. I don't know. You
• 55:59
  Speaker 3: got to respect people doing their art form. You got
• 56:00
  Speaker 3: to respect people doing what they do. And if one
• 56:02
  Speaker 3: of the things is like hot button topics and personally,
• 56:07
  Speaker 3: I remember one of my, one of my many, like,
• 56:09
  Speaker 3: I mean, I've, I've been through these things before, so
• 56:11
  Speaker 3: I'm prepared for it. But one of them, um, From
• 56:15
  Speaker 3: a special, it was like somebody got mad at me
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: for doing a bit about them. And Eleanor and Diaz
• 56:20
  Speaker 3: were talking. It was pretty bad. But Diaz was like, yeah,
• 56:23
  Speaker 3: but that's our friend. And then Eleanor was like, oh, yeah, yeah,
• 56:26
  Speaker 3: you're right. In the story. It's our buddy. In the story.
• 56:29
  Speaker 3: You don't have to say anything if it's about your buddy.
• 56:31
  Speaker 3: But now we're in this world where it's like I
• 56:34
  Speaker 3: need to be first to a fucking.
• 56:35
  Speaker 2: The commenters, yeah.
• 56:37
  Speaker 1: You have people and they, and then also other people
• 56:39
  Speaker 1: start hitting you up. What do you think about this?
• 56:41
  Speaker 1: What do you, so you didn't, everybody, there's all like.
• 56:43
  Speaker 3: Well, they've asked us, they've asked me multiple times about like,
• 56:47
  Speaker 3: to speak about, no, I'm not even gonna say this,
• 56:51
  Speaker 3: but some of the people we know have come up
• 56:52
  Speaker 3: in the news and like offstage stuff. Oh yeah. And like,
• 56:55
  Speaker 3: when are you going to mention it? And I don't
• 56:57
  Speaker 3: even respond, but the answer is never. That's a friend
• 57:00
  Speaker 3: of mine. That's someone I've shaken hands with. Right. Even
• 57:02
  Speaker 3: if I don't hang out with them all the time.
• 57:03
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about? I'm not going to lose
• 57:05
  Speaker 3: my fucking humanity so I can fucking speak to a
• 57:08
  Speaker 3: bunch of strangers.
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: See, that's interesting because I saw, then I, because I'll
• 57:12
  Speaker 1: look back on things. I'm like, why did I really
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: feel like I had to speak on that?
• 57:15
  Speaker 3: Why did you? It's this feeling that'll pass. So you
• 57:18
  Speaker 3: can learn from it and next time not do it,
• 57:20
  Speaker 3: you know, but like, you just don't have to. Yeah.
• 57:24
  Speaker 3: You just don't have to.
• 57:25
  Speaker 2: I saw, yeah, so I wonder where does that come
• 57:27
  Speaker 2: from for me? Is it like a fear?
• 57:28
  Speaker 1: Is it like, yeah, I think it's probably some fear
• 57:30
  Speaker 1: of everybody not liking me.
• 57:32
  Speaker 3: Same thing with posting to Black Lives Matter Square. It's like,
• 57:34
  Speaker 3: If you don't, are they going to look at me?
• 57:35
  Speaker 3: Are they going to be mad?
• 57:38
  Speaker 1: Dude, I put up my Black Lives Matter square. I
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: didn't know what to do. I was kind of spooked,
• 57:42
  Speaker 1: I guess.
• 57:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: Because I'm trying to do a Netflix. And in my head,
• 57:45
  Speaker 1: I'm like, well, if I don't do this, the Netflix
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: festival isn't going to happen. We've already gone down this road.
• 57:48
  Speaker 1: The deal's there. I'll lose it. Then I'm like, they'll
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: take it, and I won't be able to get it back.
• 57:53
  Speaker 1: It's like all this stuff gets stuck in your head
• 57:55
  Speaker 1: kind of. And also, I have black friends.
• 57:57
  Speaker 2: I didn't know what was going on.
• 57:57
  Speaker 1: The first time a black woman hits me up and
• 58:00
  Speaker 1: is like, you did this all wrong, motherfucker.
• 58:02
  Speaker 2: This ain't the right shade or something.
• 58:04
  Speaker 3: Exactly. That's why.
• 58:04
  Speaker 2: It's a shade of black.
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: And you want to be like, no, you're not the
• 58:07
  Speaker 3: right shade of black. It's high yellow. Yeah. Yeah. I
• 58:12
  Speaker 3: don't know. It's like, I don't know.
• 58:14
  Speaker 2: But no, it's interesting because it makes me look at
• 58:16
  Speaker 2: myself like, yeah, why do I feel the need? Who
• 58:19
  Speaker 2: do I feel like? Do I feel like I have
• 58:21
  Speaker 2: to defend? And then sometimes you also want to be
• 58:24
  Speaker 2: there to kind of defend or help soften some.
• 58:26
  Speaker 3: Of what the blow is. Right. So with Tony, I
• 58:28
  Speaker 3: was trying to do that.
• 58:29
  Speaker 2: That's what I did. That's what I tried to do too.
• 58:31
  Speaker 2: And even at the end, I remember the thing I
• 58:33
  Speaker 2: was talking about you.
• 58:33
  Speaker 1: I said, I didn't. It's what he's going for. So
• 58:38
  Speaker 1: you have to recognize that that's what he's going for.
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: Like the way things land in the, if it hits
• 58:44
  Speaker 1: that trampoline and then it hits the whole world, it wasn't,
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: I don't know if it's supposed to or not.
• 58:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It was a great one for sure.
• 58:51
  Speaker 2: Would you do it again? You think, or did you
• 58:52
  Speaker 2: have any percent?
• 58:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, there's no way I can't because here's
• 58:55
  Speaker 3: the deal, man. I've committed to, to this life and, and, and,
• 59:00
  Speaker 3: and by this life, I don't mean offenses. I mean,
• 59:02
  Speaker 3: doing the jokes that I find funny whenever I find
• 59:04
  Speaker 3: them funny.
• 59:05
  Speaker 2: And that's one thing I really admire about you the most, man.
• 59:07
  Speaker 3: Thanks, buddy. So if you start considering the repercussions, and
• 59:11
  Speaker 3: not like moral repercussions, like I'm not going to go
• 59:14
  Speaker 3: to somebody's funeral and do that. That's the wrong place, right?
• 59:17
  Speaker 3: But I'm like, no, I'm doing it to my audience.
• 59:19
  Speaker 3: I can't be worried about if it's going to take anything.
• 59:21
  Speaker 3: I have a nice life, and I'm completely free. So
• 59:24
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to give that up because I might
• 59:27
  Speaker 3: have more money or be able to do more things.
• 59:30
  Speaker 3: And like, by the way, I took a lie detector
• 59:32
  Speaker 3: on this, on Legion of Skanks. They're like, do you
• 59:34
  Speaker 3: regret the Kobe tweet? I'm like, no.
• 59:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, I have to go back and watch that.
• 59:37
  Speaker 3: Absolutely, they crushed the reaction maybe. But it would have
• 59:40
  Speaker 3: been nice if people were like, hey guys, that's what
• 59:42
  Speaker 3: a joke is. You have to allow comics to make jokes.
• 59:45
  Speaker 2: Right, right, right. And that's really, I think that's the
• 59:48
  Speaker 2: thing that we should all be saying, I guess.
• 59:50
  Speaker 3: We should all be defending each other. Because we want
• 59:52
  Speaker 3: to tell young comics, we will get your back. If
• 59:55
  Speaker 3: the line moves behind you, we're not talking about action,
• 59:58
  Speaker 3: we're talking about Whatever you're trying to do for a joke,
• 1:00:00
  Speaker 3: we will have your back, Young Comics. Yeah. We will
• 1:00:03
  Speaker 3: always say, like, and not to say, like, hey, I
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 3: didn't find it funny, but this is right. Leave that
• 1:00:08
  Speaker 3: shit out. Just be like, yeah, guys, clearly here's the joke.
• 1:00:11
  Speaker 3: Here's what he's going for. Right. Well, did you find
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 3: it funny? He's like, what's the difference? It's got nothing
• 1:00:15
  Speaker 3: to do with it. There's plenty of, like, specials from
• 1:00:17
  Speaker 3: comics that aren't funny that I would never mention because
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 3: it's not offensive, right? So you're not like, this guy's
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 3: special wasn't good.
• 1:00:23
  Speaker 2: Like, you wouldn't say that.
• 1:00:24
  Speaker 3: So why would you say it when they're under attack?
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:00:27
  Speaker 3: It's nutty. I have had a few people apologize to me.
• 1:00:30
  Speaker 3: A couple like black comics specifically. Like Godfrey? No. He's
• 1:00:35
  Speaker 3: an actor. He's fine. No, no, he did. He was like,
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 3: I told you I had to say something.
• 1:00:38
  Speaker 2: He's not like actually angry. That's actually a pretty good
• 1:00:41
  Speaker 2: impersonation of Godfrey.
• 1:00:43
  Speaker 3: Me and Sam Murillo were sitting there. He came up
• 1:00:45
  Speaker 3: to me. I thought he was going to beat me up.
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 3: And he was like, I told you I was going
• 1:00:48
  Speaker 3: to say something. All right, buddy. And then Sam's like,
• 1:00:50
  Speaker 3: you got to respect the honesty. I guess so.
• 1:00:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, that's true, too, I think, is, yeah, like if
• 1:00:54
  Speaker 1: somebody can then say, yeah, everybody's playing kind of their
• 1:00:57
  Speaker 1: game or playing the best game that they can.
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But Mike Yard came up to me. He was like, dude,
• 1:01:02
  Speaker 3: when I saw that, I was like, what the fuck
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 3: are you doing? And then somebody's like, oh, I get it.
• 1:01:06
  Speaker 3: You make fun of dead celebrities because you're poking fun
• 1:01:08
  Speaker 3: at the people who overvalue these lives of celebrities. I
• 1:01:11
  Speaker 3: get it now. I didn't get it at first. I'm like, oh, thanks.
• 1:01:14
  Speaker 3: Or Kareem Green was like, not Kareem Green. Jimmy Martinez
• 1:01:19
  Speaker 3: was like, yeah, I said some shit about you, man,
• 1:01:21
  Speaker 3: but I shouldn't have. I get it now. I get
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 3: what you're doing. I should have defended you as a comedian.
• 1:01:26
  Speaker 3: I'm like, thanks for saying that. So a few people did,
• 1:01:29
  Speaker 3: but now the emotions are gone. But it's also fun
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 3: when you see people still mad about One of the
• 1:01:35
  Speaker 3: many lines I've crossed, and I'm still angry. The other day,
• 1:01:38
  Speaker 3: it was like, pointing out a Beyonce tweet that I made.
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 2: What about this?
• 1:01:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah, after Lemonade, exactly. I'll never forgive you. Okay, okay.
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 2: I'm definitely going to think you're a dork. Wow.
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, it's fun. I don't know. It's fun to fuck
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 3: with people.
• 1:01:52
  Speaker 1: No, it's like, but it's also, it's just the preservation
• 1:01:56
  Speaker 1: of it all, man. And that's why I appreciate you
• 1:01:58
  Speaker 1: even talking about me with this, because I started to feel, yeah,
• 1:02:02
  Speaker 1: that's what I was thinking, like, When do I feel
• 1:02:06
  Speaker 1: pressure to defend the freedom of speech? We've been talking
• 1:02:08
  Speaker 1: about it recently with people not wanting to do the flag.
• 1:02:12
  Speaker 1: It's all kind of stuff. Not wanting to do what?
• 1:02:15
  Speaker 2: The flag?
• 1:02:16
  Speaker 1: Or like a teacher took the flag down in her
• 1:02:18
  Speaker 1: classroom and didn't have it in there. And my teacher,
• 1:02:21
  Speaker 1: when I was growing up, she made us all kind
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: of do it or at least asked us to stay
• 1:02:25
  Speaker 1: in there, whether or not she.
• 1:02:26
  Speaker 2: it was just like to kind of corral us. It
• 1:02:28
  Speaker 2: was like kind of a unifying, at least she cares.
• 1:02:31
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I remember that.
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 2: And it was like, I don't know if.
• 1:02:33
  Speaker 1: I cared as much as a kid. It's not like
• 1:02:35
  Speaker 1: I was standing there, but I like, you know, our
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: teacher did it. It was like, she was our liaison.
• 1:02:39
  Speaker 1: And then now a teacher was like, Oh, I put
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: the flag away. It seems like it'd be a thing
• 1:02:43
  Speaker 1: of trouble in my classroom. And, and now at first
• 1:02:46
  Speaker 1: I was like, man, I felt like maybe she shouldn't
• 1:02:48
  Speaker 1: have done that. But then I'm like, you got it.
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: Freedom of speech is freedom of speech. The problem is
• 1:02:53
  Speaker 1: there's just everybody's speech can get everywhere now.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:02:56
  Speaker 2: And I don't know if it's a problem.
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: It's just a curve we're still adapting to.
• 1:03:00
  Speaker 3: It is weird because you have different selves, right? The
• 1:03:04
  Speaker 3: way you talk to me is going to be way
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 3: different than the way you talk to a pastor, way
• 1:03:07
  Speaker 3: different than the way you talk to your mom, your
• 1:03:09
  Speaker 3: high school friends. It's different than your comedian friends. You
• 1:03:12
  Speaker 3: have many selves. And now it's just like coming together
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 3: into one self. And Mark Zuckerberg's talking about this, and
• 1:03:18
  Speaker 3: he was like, this is a problem because you're losing
• 1:03:20
  Speaker 3: all these different masks you wear in different situations. I'm
• 1:03:23
  Speaker 3: not going to curse in front of my mom. Right.
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 3: I might, but I'm not trying not to. But you
• 1:03:28
  Speaker 3: and I, I might even think twice about it. Right.
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 3: You know, AM radio or FM radio versus podcasts. Right.
• 1:03:34
  Speaker 3: You know, it's just like, that's lying in your head.
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 3: And Zuckerberg says, no, I think there should only be
• 1:03:38
  Speaker 3: one self to everybody. And I think that's dangerous because
• 1:03:42
  Speaker 3: you lose like artistic differences. You lose like wild strokes
• 1:03:46
  Speaker 3: of art when everybody's trying not to offend anybody. It's like,
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 3: you're not even supposed to be here. What am I
• 1:03:53
  Speaker 3: worried about? Right.
• 1:03:54
  Speaker 1: Well, that's what it feels like then. It feels like
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: I'm not even supposed to be here because it's an
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: unrealistic expectation of a human.
• 1:04:03
  Speaker 2: Right. So then I start to feel like it's crazy
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 2: when you said that. It just hit me.
• 1:04:07
  Speaker 1: I feel like, well, why am I even here? This
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: isn't a safe world for me to even be in
• 1:04:12
  Speaker 1: because that's impossible.
• 1:04:14
  Speaker 3: Because they're throwing you to everywhere you wouldn't even be appreciated.
• 1:04:16
  Speaker 2: Every wolf.
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 3: I remember it hit me. The first time it hit
• 1:04:19
  Speaker 3: me was Cecil O'Lyon. Remember that? Some dude killed a
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 3: lion in Zimbabwe or Zaire. Maybe let's hope Zimbabwe or Zaire.
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 3: See the lion. Zimbabwe. Oh, yeah.
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 2: I remember this thing. They killed that lion.
• 1:04:33
  Speaker 3: In a black mane. This dentist killed him. With an
• 1:04:36
  Speaker 3: arrow by American recreational big gum hunter. Yeah. And everybody
• 1:04:41
  Speaker 3: was real, real mad. They hated him. I remember talking
• 1:04:45
  Speaker 3: to a cab driver. We just heard it on the news.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 3: We were both bonded. Like, fuck this guy. Fuck this
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 3: dentist dude. Fucking killing a lion? Cecil? Beautiful lion? Yeah, Cecil.
• 1:04:54
  Speaker 2: They put that name in, and the name also kind
• 1:04:56
  Speaker 2: of urban makes you think, oh, this guy. Yeah, it's
• 1:04:59
  Speaker 2: racist somehow. This guy didn't make a sports squad or something.
• 1:05:02
  Speaker 3: And I remember being legitimately angry. And then I found
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 3: out later a little bit more where it's like, oh, no,
• 1:05:06
  Speaker 3: Zimbabwe gives out like 40 permits to kill lions a
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 3: year because they have to keep the population down because
• 1:05:11
  Speaker 3: then you hear more stories like, yeah, a lion killed
• 1:05:13
  Speaker 3: my brother, man. We need to keep the population down
• 1:05:16
  Speaker 3: if they're too close to fucking whatever. Rogan pointed out
• 1:05:18
  Speaker 3: for a guy, for a tiger, a lion to get
• 1:05:21
  Speaker 3: a black mane, that means he's way old. That means
• 1:05:23
  Speaker 3: he killed tons of fucking lion cubs. That lion probably
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 3: killed like 20 lion cubs. But we had the story
• 1:05:30
  Speaker 3: of like, I'm supposed to be mad at this dude
• 1:05:31
  Speaker 3: who killed Cecil. And then you find out more and
• 1:05:32
  Speaker 3: more about it and you're like, oh no, this was
• 1:05:34
  Speaker 3: totally legit. Right.
• 1:05:36
  Speaker 1: Um, Also, I love how they put his born date
• 1:05:38
  Speaker 1: on here. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 3: 2002, 2015.
• 1:05:41
  Speaker 2: Just to add to that. Oh, look, he was only 13.
• 1:05:43
  Speaker 2: Arrow wounds. Like he was in junior high school or something.
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's an old line.
• 1:05:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he was a park land survivor.
• 1:05:51
  Speaker 3: But then it hit me, like, whenever I'm angry about
• 1:05:53
  Speaker 3: these things, like, they're probably hiding a detail or two
• 1:05:55
  Speaker 3: to make me angrier. Right. Hinchcliffe 2, they just hid
• 1:05:59
  Speaker 3: details to make you angrier. And then they'll reveal the
• 1:06:01
  Speaker 3: details later, but the emotion's already there. You're like, no,
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 3: fuck this.
• 1:06:04
  Speaker 2: Yes, that's what's interesting.
• 1:06:05
  Speaker 3: Or they hide, like, Louie's asked to jerk off in
• 1:06:08
  Speaker 3: front of lots of people who said yes, and then
• 1:06:09
  Speaker 3: they just don't include that in the story. Right.
• 1:06:12
  Speaker 2: He's like that dolphin. He's like the trick dolphin.
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:06:15
  Speaker 2: What do you mean?
• 1:06:16
  Speaker 1: You know, it's like, let's see him do his trick.
• 1:06:17
  Speaker 1: You know, hey, I'm sure there's been parties where people
• 1:06:19
  Speaker 1: are drunk and like, hey, get Louie in here. He'll
• 1:06:21
  Speaker 1: jerk off.
• 1:06:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. And everyone's totally cool with it. And
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 3: then suddenly you leave all those out. And it's just like,
• 1:06:25
  Speaker 3: you just show one thing. Like, if they just show...
• 1:06:28
  Speaker 3: me calling Bobby Lee a gook, you know? But they
• 1:06:31
  Speaker 3: cut out him right before calling me a kike. Right.
• 1:06:33
  Speaker 3: It looks really bad. But then, like, you have to
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 3: show all the context. And if you show it later,
• 1:06:38
  Speaker 3: people are like, nah, still, I've already decided I'm angry.
• 1:06:41
  Speaker 3: This is another reason I knew people, like, are married
• 1:06:43
  Speaker 3: to their anger. When those amazing racist stuff came out,
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 3: people were like, that's so fucking, how dare you fucking
• 1:06:47
  Speaker 3: do that? It was so funny when you had that vote, dude.
• 1:06:50
  Speaker 3: But I'd pick people up at Home Depot. They were
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 3: working and I'd drive them to an INS building. And
• 1:06:55
  Speaker 3: then people would get mad. And then I was like,
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 3: By the way, you know, those were actors. I paid
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 3: them 50 bucks. Right. And I drove them back. They're
• 1:07:04
  Speaker 3: not even like workers. They're just actors. They filled out
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 3: like a form and we paid them and they did it.
• 1:07:09
  Speaker 3: And people are like, oh, still. I'm like, wait, you're
• 1:07:12
  Speaker 3: just as angry? You thought I was picking up undocumented
• 1:07:14
  Speaker 3: workers and driving them to the INS. And then you
• 1:07:17
  Speaker 3: found out I'm just doing a sketch about it. And
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 3: you're equally as angry? Not even a little less angry?
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 3: People just get married to that anger.
• 1:07:26
  Speaker 2: Yeah, what is that? Why do we not, we don't?
• 1:07:29
  Speaker 3: It's a weird emotion, huh? Anger?
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: It is, but then also to not let it, to
• 1:07:34
  Speaker 1: not then be willing. Yes, that's what's also interesting. It's
• 1:07:38
  Speaker 1: like an I'm right, and it's like a, it's fascinating, man.
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: I appreciate you letting me think about this with you
• 1:07:44
  Speaker 1: because it's, yeah, it's fascinating.
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 2: How do we get better at ourselves?
• 1:07:47
  Speaker 3: Because I've done it too. I'm fairly like.
• 1:07:51
  Speaker 1: Yeah, I jump to it. Sometimes it depends on how
• 1:07:53
  Speaker 1: I'm feeling that day. Well, I remember with the Tony thing,
• 1:07:55
  Speaker 1: the Hinchcliffe thing with the Asian comedian, I heard he's
• 1:07:58
  Speaker 1: been doing that all week. And it's like, and that
• 1:08:02
  Speaker 1: they were fine with it. But why didn't the comedian
• 1:08:05
  Speaker 1: ask him first? Sometimes it's like the use of it.
• 1:08:09
  Speaker 1: If you're just using this as like a springboard for yourself.
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 3: That's the thing, too. It's a weird thing in comedy now.
• 1:08:14
  Speaker 3: I think it's because we got too big and now
• 1:08:15
  Speaker 3: we're worried about keeping our fame and our podcast advertisements
• 1:08:19
  Speaker 3: and all that shit. And it's like, dude, we're making
• 1:08:21
  Speaker 3: 20 grand a year. And we were able to give
• 1:08:23
  Speaker 3: up money like it was nothing. And now they were making,
• 1:08:26
  Speaker 3: or some people, not me, but some people were making millions.
• 1:08:28
  Speaker 3: And now it's like, I can't afford to lose 20 grand. Right.
• 1:08:30
  Speaker 3: And it's like, what do you mean? Now more than ever,
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 3: you shouldn't give a shit. But yeah, I don't know.
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 3: But like, no one could just be like.
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: But it's also, I think we might be going, we
• 1:08:43
  Speaker 1: might've been going through the adapting to it.
• 1:08:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah, maybe. I think that the internet's making people sick too.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 2: Oh, dude.
• 1:08:51
  Speaker 3: I think they caught the sickness. A lot of people
• 1:08:53
  Speaker 3: caught the sickness.
• 1:08:54
  Speaker 1: I think a lot of times I, you know, we'll,
• 1:08:56
  Speaker 1: we'll stop like nicotine and things like that, but it's like,
• 1:08:58
  Speaker 1: there's nothing that's killing us more than this constant reflection
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: of ourselves and the unable to meet the demand of,
• 1:09:05
  Speaker 1: of an unrealistic expectation that's put in front of you constantly.
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 3: I struggle with it getting offline completely. Yeah.
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 2: It's hard, man.
• 1:09:13
  Speaker 3: You know, we make our money not being off, you know,
• 1:09:15
  Speaker 3: we make our money being on there. So it's like, Right.
• 1:09:17
  Speaker 3: I mean, I ended my Twitter account probably five months ago.
• 1:09:20
  Speaker 3: I just like, this is all negative now. Twitter is
• 1:09:22
  Speaker 3: all negative. But I know I gave up a lot
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 3: of money doing that. Right.
• 1:09:26
  Speaker 1: You're like, I'm going to say, I'm going to admit
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: that if you have 5% of my money, it's going
• 1:09:29
  Speaker 1: to come from either views or people seeing links.
• 1:09:31
  Speaker 3: Promoting my shows. Exactly. And I'm like, I can't do
• 1:09:33
  Speaker 3: that anymore. But like, it's not healthy for me. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:09:38
  Speaker 3: I don't know. We got to combat it in ourselves somehow.
• 1:09:40
  Speaker 3: I don't know how to do it.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: And I think some of it is just your, you know,
• 1:09:43
  Speaker 1: you learn as things come through, you know, it's like.
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 3: I think they got to regulate the internet, man. Dave Smith.
• 1:09:49
  Speaker 3: I was talking to him about it. He's a real
• 1:09:50
  Speaker 3: big libertarian. He like helps me make my views on
• 1:09:53
  Speaker 3: like on politics in general. Just like if I'm not
• 1:09:56
  Speaker 3: hurting anybody, what's the difference? You know, do cocaine in
• 1:10:00
  Speaker 3: your own home. Like what's the difference? Don't drive and drink,
• 1:10:03
  Speaker 3: you know, that's hurting other people. Right. But drink at home.
• 1:10:07
  Speaker 3: What's it, you know, I don't care. Drink yourself death.
• 1:10:09
  Speaker 3: It doesn't matter. But like, um, But so he's like, well,
• 1:10:14
  Speaker 3: you know, the internet's like, you're free not to use it.
• 1:10:16
  Speaker 3: But I'm like, well, you're not really socially free not
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 3: to use it. You're not. They've made it so you
• 1:10:20
  Speaker 3: need it for almost anything. Yeah. With Apple Pay, with fucking,
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 3: you can't get a city bike without your fucking, unless
• 1:10:25
  Speaker 3: you have one of the old keys, you can't get
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 3: a city bike without your cell phone. You can't get
• 1:10:29
  Speaker 3: tickets to a movie and shit. So it's like they've
• 1:10:31
  Speaker 3: made you need it. And especially social media, they've made
• 1:10:34
  Speaker 3: you need it. You can't exist. The mommy blog groups
• 1:10:36
  Speaker 3: are on Facebook. You can't be a mom and not.
• 1:10:40
  Speaker 3: trade information with other moms and they're not going to
• 1:10:42
  Speaker 3: be off Facebook. They're going to be on Facebook. You
• 1:10:44
  Speaker 3: have to be on there. And we didn't agree to
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 3: hate our friends. We didn't agree to let you make
• 1:10:50
  Speaker 3: me hate my friends and my brothers and my fucking relatives.
• 1:10:54
  Speaker 3: We didn't agree to that. Right. And you guys did
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 3: that to us without our permission. And I'm like, no,
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 3: that's not allowed. You're hurting us. It's not just stomping
• 1:11:02
  Speaker 3: on your floor. It's stomping on your floor when someone
• 1:11:04
  Speaker 3: is below you. Right. It's like, no. No. So I
• 1:11:08
  Speaker 3: hate regulation, but at some point, like, we didn't give
• 1:11:11
  Speaker 3: you permission to do this to us.
• 1:11:12
  Speaker 2: It's tough. That's the thing.
• 1:11:13
  Speaker 1: It's like, I hate regulation, but I've thought like tech
• 1:11:16
  Speaker 1: is the new fossil fuel.
• 1:11:17
  Speaker 2: That's what I say a lot of times.
• 1:11:18
  Speaker 1: It's this weird thing where it's like, there's people like,
• 1:11:21
  Speaker 1: we'll just get off of it. It's like, then I
• 1:11:23
  Speaker 1: can't order anything. I can't like, there's no, And even
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: if you try to go, this is the saddest part. Yesterday,
• 1:11:29
  Speaker 1: I'm looking for a bed and breakfast, right? And I
• 1:11:31
  Speaker 1: don't want an Airbnb. I want to find a bed
• 1:11:33
  Speaker 1: and breakfast. I want to find two senior citizens, probably
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: deceased in the back room. You know what I'm saying?
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: Who I go in, I have a reservation. They didn't
• 1:11:42
  Speaker 1: even know about it. And I find their bodies in there.
• 1:11:43
  Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying? Like I want a real
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 2: bed and breakfast.
• 1:11:47
  Speaker 3: I want a fucking scone, bitch. Yeah.
• 1:11:49
  Speaker 1: The advertising though is all straight to Airbnb.
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 2: Every one you go to, it's somehow.
• 1:11:54
  Speaker 1: So it's like, You had to go two pages in
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: to even find something that was like a regular Airbnb.
• 1:12:03
  Speaker 3: And it's like– It also– that's shit that's really more
• 1:12:05
  Speaker 3: damaging than some of the stuff. The anger inducement, like
• 1:12:08
  Speaker 3: that's bad for sure. But like algorithms in general, it
• 1:12:12
  Speaker 3: takes away your ability to be exposed to new things.
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 3: Even like Spotify. You don't think Spotify is evil in
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 3: any way. It's not evil at their core. But like
• 1:12:22
  Speaker 3: they're giving you music that they know you will like. Right.
• 1:12:25
  Speaker 3: Now you and I are hanging out, let's just say,
• 1:12:28
  Speaker 3: and I'm putting on some of my music that your,
• 1:12:30
  Speaker 3: your algorithm wouldn't expose you to, but you're like, Oh,
• 1:12:33
  Speaker 3: I actually like, like, that's cool. I like this. So
• 1:12:36
  Speaker 3: you're exposed by chance to some new level of art
• 1:12:39
  Speaker 3: that you wouldn't have been exposed to. Which is why
• 1:12:41
  Speaker 3: I like, uh, I got this from a book too,
• 1:12:43
  Speaker 3: but like listening to the radio where I'm like, let
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 3: it hit me with something. Yeah. Um, and then maybe
• 1:12:48
  Speaker 3: I'm like, Oh cool. And I'm, my Spotify is listening,
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 3: you know, so they'll know if I like it there,
• 1:12:52
  Speaker 3: they're reading my heartbeat or whatever, but like, You want
• 1:12:55
  Speaker 3: to be able to grow, and they're not letting you.
• 1:12:59
  Speaker 1: Well, did you notice when you were in Ecuador or
• 1:13:01
  Speaker 1: those types of places, is it a lot different? Is
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: it really a lot different? Do you notice it over time?
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 3: Well, I noticed when I got back. Same thing was
• 1:13:08
  Speaker 3: when I left L.A. I didn't notice how shitty L.A. was,
• 1:13:11
  Speaker 3: how the L.A. vibe was until I left for a
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 3: couple days and then went back. I was like, oh,
• 1:13:15
  Speaker 3: god damn, you guys are fucking vapid here and needy
• 1:13:19
  Speaker 3: for fame. I didn't realize the forest for the trees. Yeah,
• 1:13:22
  Speaker 3: I was really enjoying it, Ecuador, and then I got back.
• 1:13:24
  Speaker 3: I was just met with this barrage of media and, like, just, yeah, it's,
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 3: you're free. You're free. I don't know. And luckily, COVID,
• 1:13:35
  Speaker 3: it was, like, a really good thing, you know, in
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 3: a lot of ways. Got to count your blessings about it. Yeah.
• 1:13:40
  Speaker 3: You relocated to a cool spot, you know, you might
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 3: not have.
• 1:13:43
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a good point. Oh, I'm amazed sometimes that
• 1:13:45
  Speaker 2: I was able to move, you know. You can always
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 2: go back. It's easy to just go there.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:13:49
  Speaker 1: But I think, yeah, when everybody was leaving, I felt
• 1:13:52
  Speaker 1: like everybody was going to Austin. I didn't know if
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: I wanted to go to Austin. The financial thing was
• 1:13:57
  Speaker 1: the same. I was just in a place, I don't
• 1:14:00
  Speaker 1: want to pay all this extra to California right now,
• 1:14:02
  Speaker 1: especially if I didn't know if they were going to
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: have masks ever.
• 1:14:05
  Speaker 2: Yeah, the taxes are different. There's no state taxes here.
• 1:14:07
  Speaker 3: That was a big thing. When Rogan was like, I'm
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 3: moving to Austin. I'm sure. And I thought about moving there.
• 1:14:13
  Speaker 3: Then whenever I started moving, I was like, I don't
• 1:14:14
  Speaker 3: want to go back to another shadow.
• 1:14:15
  Speaker 2: That's kind of what I felt. I just didn't want
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 2: to be in a place where I felt like.
• 1:14:20
  Speaker 3: People are like, why? He's like, homeless. Like, you don't
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 3: think it's homeless in Austin? Like, why else? He's like, taxes. Wait, what?
• 1:14:26
  Speaker 3: Everybody's like, wait, what is that? All those rich commies
• 1:14:28
  Speaker 3: are like, oh, hold on. I can save a house
• 1:14:32
  Speaker 3: a year?
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't mind seeing the homeless as long as
• 1:14:35
  Speaker 2: I'm not the one paying for them. That's the thing.
• 1:14:37
  Speaker 2: As long as I'm not paying.
• 1:14:39
  Speaker 1: Now, if I walk up to the guy and say,
• 1:14:40
  Speaker 1: here's 20 bucks, will you please shit outside for me?
• 1:14:43
  Speaker 1: Because I need to get these rose beds going.
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 2: That's one thing.
• 1:14:48
  Speaker 3: You got to put them to use. That's a problem.
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 3: They're not using these homeless guys.
• 1:14:51
  Speaker 2: But if I got to mail it to the city
• 1:14:52
  Speaker 2: and then they're going to use it through some dirt
• 1:14:54
  Speaker 2: system and the guy doesn't even get to shit in
• 1:14:56
  Speaker 2: my flower beds, he can just go shit anywhere? No way.
• 1:15:00
  Speaker 3: Not on my watch.
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: Yeah, something that's interesting here, like the guy at the
• 1:15:06
  Speaker 1: gas station the other day comes out and he's.
• 1:15:09
  Speaker 2: I guess, a fan kind of or, you know, knew
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 2: of me.
• 1:15:11
  Speaker 1: And he said, hey, man, I want to let you
• 1:15:14
  Speaker 1: know anytime you come in here, man, we got fresh
• 1:15:16
  Speaker 1: baked bread and fresh baked pizzas in here.
• 1:15:18
  Speaker 2: And I had just been in there, dude. There's no.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 3: There's not.
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 2: There's not an oven in that joint, right?
• 1:15:24
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:15:25
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, is this guy just been. And it
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: was the nighttime guy. So I'm like, is this dude.
• 1:15:30
  Speaker 2: Out of his mind. He's this guy on Adderall.
• 1:15:33
  Speaker 1: But now it's like when I go there, I have
• 1:15:35
  Speaker 1: to pretend that they have fresh baked bread in there.
• 1:15:40
  Speaker 1: And they don't, so it's like, in a smaller area,
• 1:15:43
  Speaker 1: there's like, you kind of are, you have to continue to,
• 1:15:45
  Speaker 1: whereas in LA, you can be like, go fuck yourself.
• 1:15:48
  Speaker 3: So impersonal. But sometimes you're like, you need that impersonalness.
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 3: You're like, yeah, you're a weirdo, man. Right. I'd rather
• 1:15:53
  Speaker 3: not talk to you. I mean, New York is the
• 1:15:54
  Speaker 3: key for that. Nobody talks to anybody. Yeah. There's too
• 1:15:57
  Speaker 3: many crazies. Yeah, yeah. But in a small town, even
• 1:15:59
  Speaker 3: Nashville is still a small town.
• 1:16:01
  Speaker 1: Oh, it feels really small here. And you can't cheat
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: on your spouse here. That's another thing, like, No. In LA, dude,
• 1:16:06
  Speaker 1: you could have another family a block away from you.
• 1:16:08
  Speaker 2: And your family would never know.
• 1:16:10
  Speaker 3: That's another thing that changed. They had this book called
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 3: The 50 Mile Rule. Do you remember that? It was
• 1:16:14
  Speaker 3: like if you're going to cheat on your spouse and
• 1:16:15
  Speaker 3: they weren't against it, they go, you got to go
• 1:16:17
  Speaker 3: 50 miles outside your radius. Now, this was written 30
• 1:16:20
  Speaker 3: years ago. Wow. And if you go 50 miles outside
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 3: your radius to a convention or whatever or more, it'll
• 1:16:25
  Speaker 3: never come back to your home, to your family at all. Now,
• 1:16:29
  Speaker 3: it's way different. There is no 50 mile. You have
• 1:16:31
  Speaker 3: to go to another planet. Well, yeah.
• 1:16:32
  Speaker 2: There's no 50 mile radius.
• 1:16:33
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: And that's one thing that Louis said funny on that
• 1:16:35
  Speaker 1: special guest. He said, well, I was looking to get
• 1:16:37
  Speaker 1: out of town, but I was on kayak or something.
• 1:16:40
  Speaker 2: There were no tickets to Mars, right?
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:16:42
  Speaker 2: He's like, I was looking to get that far away.
• 1:16:45
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It is cool being in Ecuador where you're like,
• 1:16:49
  Speaker 3: where no one knew me. I think I got recognized
• 1:16:52
  Speaker 3: like three times, two of them like right towards the
• 1:16:55
  Speaker 3: end in like one of our gringo town. But it
• 1:16:58
  Speaker 3: was like, I'm just me. I'm just a human here.
• 1:17:00
  Speaker 3: And I think it's real bad for you to be
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 3: recognized too much, to be elevated on a level that
• 1:17:07
  Speaker 3: you're not.
• 1:17:08
  Speaker 2: Oh, and it's not even realistic.
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 3: It's not real. Yeah. People are just like, can I
• 1:17:12
  Speaker 3: get you something? Can I get you something? You don't
• 1:17:13
  Speaker 3: work for me. Yeah. It's not healthy at all. And
• 1:17:17
  Speaker 3: you start thinking your words are too valuable.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:17:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:17:20
  Speaker 1: Well, I think that goes even to some of, like,
• 1:17:21
  Speaker 1: podcasts getting busier and, like, feeling like you have to
• 1:17:24
  Speaker 1: say something or scared to say something.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 3: You have to say something. God damn.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 2: I think, yeah.
• 1:17:27
  Speaker 3: It's embarrassing. In New York, we're, like, shocked at how
• 1:17:30
  Speaker 3: some of those L.A. podcasts have no level of integrity
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 3: or morals. Yeah. To their friends. That's awesome.
• 1:17:37
  Speaker 2: Well.
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 3: Look at these fucking. These guys are great.
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 2: Bless you.
• 1:17:44
  Speaker 3: Bless you. Look at the fuck of these dudes.
• 1:17:48
  Speaker 2: I don't want to use a racial slur, but. These
• 1:17:50
  Speaker 2: Lakers fans right here.
• 1:17:52
  Speaker 3: One's a Dodger fan.
• 1:17:53
  Speaker 2: Oh, Laker fans.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 3: My bad.
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 2: Uh, let's see these guys.
• 1:17:57
  Speaker 3: What's up, Theo? Ari. You beautiful motherfuckers.
• 1:18:01
  Speaker 1: I'm big.
• 1:18:02
  Speaker 4: He's fat.
• 1:18:03
  Speaker 3: Big and fat. I don't know why he.
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 2: Looks like that.
• 1:18:05
  Speaker 3: Uh, we're actually podcasters and I'm hoping to chase my
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 3: comedy dreams.
• 1:18:10
  Speaker 2: So, quick question.
• 1:18:11
  Speaker 5: Um, when you're pushing the boundaries in your jokes, which
• 1:18:16
  Speaker 5: you do fucking great at, um, How do you overcome the.
• 1:18:21
  Speaker 4: Fear, you know, that cancel culture? It's pretty scary out there.
• 1:18:26
  Speaker 4: Everybody wants to fucking end you. Keep killing them. Keep
• 1:18:29
  Speaker 4: pushing the boundaries. We fucking love you guys. Theo, Ari,
• 1:18:32
  Speaker 4: we hope to see you in Jersey soon. Please come by.
• 1:18:37
  Speaker 2: Latinos in Jersey. There's a new documentary coming soon.
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 3: Latinos in Jersey? Yeah.
• 1:18:41
  Speaker 2: Thank you, bro. Thanks for the question. We kind of
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 2: have an answer in there.
• 1:18:44
  Speaker 3: We kind of did. You know, there's one book that
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 3: set me free more than anything. It was The Fountainhead.
• 1:18:48
  Speaker 3: I read The Fountainhead. Ayn Rand? Ayn Rand. Ayn Rand. Yeah, whatever.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 3: But it set me free. She told me, she's like,
• 1:18:56
  Speaker 3: I think you'd like this. And it was just about
• 1:18:57
  Speaker 3: this pure artist. Architecture was the art form they chose.
• 1:19:01
  Speaker 3: But really, it's just any art form. And it was about, like,
• 1:19:04
  Speaker 3: you just cannot care at all. And this guy, this architect...
• 1:19:09
  Speaker 3: And they, they, it was way predated cancel culture. I mean,
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 3: it was written in the twenties or thirties, but like,
• 1:19:13
  Speaker 3: you could see like these prototypes of like, I could
• 1:19:17
  Speaker 3: plug it into any one of these situations. And you're like,
• 1:19:19
  Speaker 3: oh yeah, that's so-and-so writing a blog about this guy. Oh, that's,
• 1:19:22
  Speaker 3: it's just like, it's, it's so good. And, uh, so
• 1:19:27
  Speaker 3: they took everything away from this guy that took it
• 1:19:29
  Speaker 3: all away. And he goes, well, you're not going to
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 3: stop me from being an architect. You might stop me
• 1:19:32
  Speaker 3: from being able to build. But I'm not going to
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 3: stop being an architect, so I'll go work in the
• 1:19:36
  Speaker 3: rock quarry, and I'll work with the materials that I'll
• 1:19:39
  Speaker 3: need when I'm building buildings again. So at some point,
• 1:19:43
  Speaker 3: I had to set, this was years and years ago,
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 3: maybe that's why I'm so fucking crazy now, but I
• 1:19:49
  Speaker 3: had to set that you will never take away my
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 3: ability to be a stand-up comic. You can not let
• 1:19:54
  Speaker 3: me do theaters and push me into clubs. You can
• 1:19:56
  Speaker 3: take away my ability to do clubs and only do
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 3: workout rooms. You can stop me from doing workout rooms.
• 1:20:00
  Speaker 3: I can still do open mics. You're talking about the money.
• 1:20:04
  Speaker 3: You might take away the money from me, but the
• 1:20:05
  Speaker 3: real thing that matters is what we always wanted when
• 1:20:08
  Speaker 3: we started is to tell a fucking good joke and
• 1:20:10
  Speaker 3: make it work. When Ralphie was like, when I saw him,
• 1:20:13
  Speaker 3: it was like two years in, he goes, oh, that's
• 1:20:14
  Speaker 3: when it's just fun, man. And I was starving to death.
• 1:20:17
  Speaker 3: I didn't have money to eat. And I was like,
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 3: what the fuck are you talking about, Ralphie? What fun?
• 1:20:20
  Speaker 3: But I get it now. There was no like, can
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 3: I get a development deal? Can I get, it was just,
• 1:20:25
  Speaker 3: we're trying to be stand-up comics. So you can't take
• 1:20:27
  Speaker 3: that away from me. And once I realized as far
• 1:20:29
  Speaker 3: down as I can go, I can go to a
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 3: coffee shop and go up. no matter what, I will
• 1:20:33
  Speaker 3: have that ability. Then I'm like, then I was free.
• 1:20:36
  Speaker 3: At that point, I was free. And it's just a, man,
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 3: it's just a powerful thing.
• 1:20:40
  Speaker 2: You know, it's powerful. It's powerful, man. Yeah, because a
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 2: lot of this I'm bringing back to myself and not
• 1:20:45
  Speaker 2: to make it about me, but just like, yeah, I
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 2: wonder why some of my behaviors, what are my fears?
• 1:20:49
  Speaker 2: What am I afraid of? And then what fears were
• 1:20:52
  Speaker 2: just fears that I had growing up that aren't really
• 1:20:53
  Speaker 2: realistic anymore.
• 1:20:54
  Speaker 3: That are still there from childhood. Right. Yeah.
• 1:20:56
  Speaker 2: Like, we're not going to have anything. I don't have anything.
• 1:20:58
  Speaker 1: You know, people hate, you know, it's like, And when
• 1:21:00
  Speaker 1: are you going to realize that your fans are there
• 1:21:02
  Speaker 1: for you no matter what? Were you amazed at some
• 1:21:05
  Speaker 1: of your fans that were there for you during some
• 1:21:07
  Speaker 1: of the trials of it?
• 1:21:08
  Speaker 3: What I was really like, I hate focusing on negatives.
• 1:21:11
  Speaker 3: So like, so like it's the natural thing, but like
• 1:21:14
  Speaker 3: what I was really taken back was, but the outpouring
• 1:21:17
  Speaker 3: of support by comedians personally, the texts I was getting
• 1:21:21
  Speaker 3: from people going like, man, you're hilarious. I found it funny.
• 1:21:25
  Speaker 3: You're all, I got your back. You're a great person.
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 3: Like just from everywhere. Like all these people reaching out.
• 1:21:32
  Speaker 3: And it was like, oh, this is like really nice.
• 1:21:34
  Speaker 3: If you remove the other part, I'm like, this is
• 1:21:35
  Speaker 3: genuinely amazingly nice. You know? God, yeah. And it's like,
• 1:21:42
  Speaker 3: and that's what you could always do when any of
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 3: those comics get in trouble for anything. You'd be like,
• 1:21:45
  Speaker 3: hey man, you're funny. Don't worry, I got your back.
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 2: Yeah, be supportive, yeah.
• 1:21:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah, because you do get to this thing of like,
• 1:21:51
  Speaker 3: does everyone hate me? So every time you get a
• 1:21:53
  Speaker 3: text like, hey, you're my buddy. It's like, great. One down,
• 1:21:56
  Speaker 3: one doesn't. That's awesome. But like, it was just really nice.
• 1:22:01
  Speaker 3: And then, you know, the beginning of it when people
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 3: were like laughing before the fucking, not realizing back there,
• 1:22:06
  Speaker 3: people were like, you know, they didn't realize that's happening.
• 1:22:10
  Speaker 3: We're all having a good time. Yeah.
• 1:22:12
  Speaker 1: Well, I think people are also now seeing in some
• 1:22:16
  Speaker 1: ways when it's like the media, like these New York
• 1:22:18
  Speaker 1: Times writes in our local, some people are like, fuck,
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: this rag is.
• 1:22:20
  Speaker 2: Exactly.
• 1:22:21
  Speaker 3: Like, you're like, you guys are trying to mislead me.
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 3: You're trying to make me angry.
• 1:22:24
  Speaker 2: Totally.
• 1:22:25
  Speaker 1: And I think so many people see that now that
• 1:22:27
  Speaker 1: it's like, the amount of people that don't see it
• 1:22:30
  Speaker 1: is so small. They just still own a lot of,
• 1:22:34
  Speaker 1: but they still own a lot of real estate.
• 1:22:36
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly. And I, and the vocal ones, the ones
• 1:22:38
  Speaker 3: who don't care, don't, don't write in to be like, Hey,
• 1:22:41
  Speaker 3: I don't care. You know, it's like, you just don't care.
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 3: You don't do anything. It's only the ones that do care.
• 1:22:45
  Speaker 3: But like, so now when I'm, when I see myself
• 1:22:48
  Speaker 3: getting angry about something, I realized, Hey, I'm probably being
• 1:22:51
  Speaker 3: misled here. These monsters aren't real. It's like, they're not everywhere.
• 1:22:55
  Speaker 3: So like, It's overhyped. It's just like I can't always
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 3: see it. So if I didn't find that fucking other
• 1:23:02
  Speaker 3: footage of Tony Ingecliff, his full set, people would have
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 3: been like, man, you bombed. I told Tony, I was like, hey, dude,
• 1:23:08
  Speaker 3: it's not so bad that people think you're racist or whatever.
• 1:23:14
  Speaker 3: That sucks. But comics are thinking you're not funny. So
• 1:23:18
  Speaker 3: you got to put out, if you say you're getting
• 1:23:21
  Speaker 3: laughs on that, you need to put that out right
• 1:23:23
  Speaker 3: now before it gets around the comedy world. Yeah. Yeah.
• 1:23:27
  Speaker 2: He hasn't, did he have a new special that just
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 2: came out?
• 1:23:29
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they recorded it before COVID, yeah. I gotta check
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 3: it out. Yeah, but so he's like, yeah, we released
• 1:23:33
  Speaker 3: his fucking, that full set, and then people are like, oh,
• 1:23:35
  Speaker 3: I get it. Like, Emma, we were all talking about it, like,
• 1:23:39
  Speaker 3: what happened, I hadn't even seen the clip yet, and
• 1:23:40
  Speaker 3: she was like, I can tell you what didn't happen.
• 1:23:42
  Speaker 3: Emma Willman? Emma Willman, yeah, hilarious. And she's like, I
• 1:23:44
  Speaker 3: can tell you what didn't happen. She's like, didn't really care.
• 1:23:48
  Speaker 3: What didn't happen was in 2021... A comedian got on
• 1:23:53
  Speaker 3: stage and couldn't hold back his anti-Asian feelings anymore and
• 1:23:56
  Speaker 3: let it out on stage. That, for sure, did not happen. So, like,
• 1:24:01
  Speaker 3: whatever else you're talking about, it's not what you're saying
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 3: it is. Right.
• 1:24:05
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and if you've seen Tony, I didn't think it was, yeah,
• 1:24:08
  Speaker 1: if you've seen him, I didn't think it was that shocking.
• 1:24:10
  Speaker 3: But the way I said about the Amazing Race is
• 1:24:13
  Speaker 3: people are mad, and then when they found out it
• 1:24:14
  Speaker 3: was way different, they're still just as mad. They did
• 1:24:16
  Speaker 3: the same shit with Chris. Where they were like, you're
• 1:24:18
  Speaker 3: fucking underage people. And it's like, well, no, not at all.
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 3: And they're like, well, you fuck your fans too much.
• 1:24:23
  Speaker 2: And you're like, no, get out of here. The thing
• 1:24:26
  Speaker 2: you said was terrible and it's not real.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:24:28
  Speaker 2: So get the fuck out of here. You can't talk anymore.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 1:24:31
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:24:32
  Speaker 3: Fuck your fans too much.
• 1:24:33
  Speaker 2: Get the fuck out of here. What are you talking about?
• 1:24:37
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God. And you see him and his apology.
• 1:24:38
  Speaker 3: That's a gaslit man going, um, so I guess these
• 1:24:43
  Speaker 3: chicks who are sliding into my DMs are trying to
• 1:24:45
  Speaker 3: fuck me. I guess I should. Shouldn't have been fucking
• 1:24:48
  Speaker 3: the people who wanted to fuck me. It's like, he's
• 1:24:51
  Speaker 3: just gassy because everyone told him he's evil for doing
• 1:24:53
  Speaker 3: nothing wrong. Yeah. Oh, fuck that.
• 1:24:56
  Speaker 2: We had a news thing. We had a news piece
• 1:24:58
  Speaker 2: I think we wanted to discuss. Was there something, Sean?
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 1:25:01
  Speaker 2: Another good question. Maybe that came in.
• 1:25:03
  Speaker 3: Thick and fat. Everybody check out that podcast. Yeah.
• 1:25:06
  Speaker 2: Thick and fat, huh?
• 1:25:07
  Speaker 3: Thick and fat. Was that what they were?
• 1:25:08
  Speaker 2: Thick and fat, dude. He's thick. I'm thick. He's fat.
• 1:25:12
  Speaker 3: How are you doing these days, by the way, with everything?
• 1:25:17
  Speaker 3: With what?
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 2: Drugs and alcohol?
• 1:25:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 2: I'm doing okay.
• 1:25:20
  Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah.
• 1:25:21
  Speaker 2: My primary goal... I've had a couple of relapses during
• 1:25:24
  Speaker 2: this thing. During the COVID.
• 1:25:27
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 4: You know?
• 1:25:28
  Speaker 3: So.
• 1:25:30
  Speaker 1: But I'm doing good. I've been doing a lot of
• 1:25:31
  Speaker 1: breath work recently. I tried ketamine therapy.
• 1:25:35
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:25:36
  Speaker 2: I've been so angry, bro. And it won't stop. And
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 2: then it's like.
• 1:25:39
  Speaker 3: Like what? I don't know. Everything?
• 1:25:42
  Speaker 2: I get angry. I get angry, yeah. So it's like...
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 2: And then I've had this exhaustion that's in my body,
• 1:25:49
  Speaker 2: like this fatigue. And I don't know what it is.
• 1:25:52
  Speaker 1: And so I've been getting all this medical stuff, trying
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: to figure it out. So it's been honestly pretty tough.
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 1: And the tough part is when you don't feel good
• 1:26:03
  Speaker 1: to then go podcast. When you're genuinely not feeling good,
• 1:26:07
  Speaker 1: or even at your best, or if I talk for
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 1: 10 minutes, a lot of times I'll feel this exhaustion
• 1:26:11
  Speaker 1: in my body. And then being like, okay, I have
• 1:26:14
  Speaker 1: to continue to put myself forward. Or I'm afraid that
• 1:26:18
  Speaker 1: I'll lose my audience.
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 3: They'll all go away. Yeah. Yeah, when I went to
• 1:26:21
  Speaker 3: Southeast Asia, I went for a few months off the
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 3: grid completely. Joe List was like, aren't you afraid of
• 1:26:25
  Speaker 3: losing everything? And at the time, I was like, I
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 3: have a television show that I'm coming back to and
• 1:26:31
  Speaker 3: a special that I just taped. What do you mean?
• 1:26:34
  Speaker 3: What am I going to lose? You have to live
• 1:26:36
  Speaker 3: your life a little. But I get it. We don't
• 1:26:39
  Speaker 3: have seasons in podcasting. We don't have an off season.
• 1:26:41
  Speaker 3: If you're an actor, if you're on Friends making a
• 1:26:43
  Speaker 3: million an episode- 22 weeks. And then you have, you know,
• 1:26:47
  Speaker 3: 38 weeks off. Yeah. That's wrong. 20, 30 weeks off.
• 1:26:53
  Speaker 3: But like they would keep working for a million a week.
• 1:26:56
  Speaker 3: They work for 52 weeks and we're not letting ourselves. Yeah.
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 2: I need to be, I need to be brave enough
• 1:27:01
  Speaker 2: to take a month off.
• 1:27:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:27:03
  Speaker 2: I need, and I really need it too.
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 3: You should do it.
• 1:27:05
  Speaker 1: So I think I thought about maybe even in January
• 1:27:08
  Speaker 1: going to like a 30 day rehab, like a facility
• 1:27:10
  Speaker 1: or something, even if it's just like a health and
• 1:27:11
  Speaker 1: wellness place.
• 1:27:12
  Speaker 3: Get off your phone.
• 1:27:13
  Speaker 2: Where there's no drugs, alcohol, yeah, and get off my phone.
• 1:27:15
  Speaker 2: Just so I don't have any temptations.
• 1:27:16
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right. It's hard to be like, keep a
• 1:27:19
  Speaker 3: pack of cigarettes on you, but stop smoking.
• 1:27:21
  Speaker 2: Right, right.
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 3: It's unrealistic.
• 1:27:24
  Speaker 2: It's hard, yeah.
• 1:27:25
  Speaker 3: And same thing as people like stay off your phone.
• 1:27:27
  Speaker 3: It's like you say that, but it's calling you.
• 1:27:30
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and also it's like you don't have direction. It's like, dude,
• 1:27:33
  Speaker 1: I realized the other day I'm in a parking lot,
• 1:27:35
  Speaker 1: and thanks for asking, man.
• 1:27:36
  Speaker 2: About what was going on.
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 3: Yeah, I should have called you when I heard him. Sorry.
• 1:27:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's all right. No, dude, you guys are, you know.
• 1:27:44
  Speaker 3: I feel bad.
• 1:27:45
  Speaker 2: I haven't talked to you in a long time. I
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 2: forget how.
• 1:27:47
  Speaker 3: Did you relapse when you were at my place? Was
• 1:27:49
  Speaker 3: that the last relapse?
• 1:27:50
  Speaker 2: Oh, dude, no. That was when I first started. That
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 2: was when I got sober. Bro, I was laying in
• 1:27:55
  Speaker 2: your fucking bed, okay? I literally had just opened the
• 1:27:59
  Speaker 2: big blue book of Alcoholics Anonymous, like bawling, crying, realizing
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 2: how many.
• 1:28:02
  Speaker 1: Things kind of related to me. And not really the
• 1:28:05
  Speaker 1: drugs and alcohol part didn't relate to me, but the.
• 1:28:08
  Speaker 1: The feelings and the emotions, that's the stuff that I'm all.
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: I'm addicted to my own feelings and emotions because I
• 1:28:13
  Speaker 1: feel like it's all I have.
• 1:28:15
  Speaker 2: It's like, I just, I don't know, but I'm addicted
• 1:28:18
  Speaker 2: to those things, you know?
• 1:28:19
  Speaker 3: That's what you're burying with the junk?
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 2: I think it probably was, you know?
• 1:28:23
  Speaker 1: And also, I just was looking for anything, yeah, that
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: made me not want to feel sometimes. But I'd never
• 1:28:29
  Speaker 1: done cocaine, and once I did it a few times,
• 1:28:30
  Speaker 1: it got dicey. So it's just like so addictive. So
• 1:28:33
  Speaker 1: I never was doing cocaine for months or even binges.
• 1:28:36
  Speaker 1: But one not one or two nights and i get
• 1:28:38
  Speaker 1: so fucking paranoid and scared and the control i was
• 1:28:42
  Speaker 1: losing i couldn't control and i'd be so creeped out
• 1:28:45
  Speaker 1: and then i want you know you want sex you
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: want to tickle some stranger and next you know you're
• 1:28:49
  Speaker 1: on these escort sites and so.
• 1:28:51
  Speaker 3: Wasting all your time trying to like Yeah, and then.
• 1:28:54
  Speaker 1: I kept locking myself out of your fucking apartment, which
• 1:28:56
  Speaker 1: is the fucking worst.
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 2: I lost all your spare keys. I had to get
• 1:28:59
  Speaker 2: the lock changed, I think.
• 1:29:01
  Speaker 3: You're like, hey, dude, your apartment's fine. You will not
• 1:29:04
  Speaker 3: be able to gain access to it, but the apartment
• 1:29:06
  Speaker 3: itself is in good shape. Like, what? I was gone
• 1:29:09
  Speaker 3: for like a month. How long did you stay there?
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 3: You stayed for a while.
• 1:29:12
  Speaker 2: I think I stayed for probably about, yeah, two and
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 2: a half weeks or something.
• 1:29:15
  Speaker 3: I still got that SodaStream you left me. Me and
• 1:29:18
  Speaker 3: my boyfriend fucking love it, dude. We fucking love that SodaStream.
• 1:29:21
  Speaker 3: I was like, Theo was my best house guest. You
• 1:29:23
  Speaker 3: and Nick Cody were the only ones who didn't destroy
• 1:29:25
  Speaker 3: my apartment that I let stay there.
• 1:29:27
  Speaker 2: I appreciate that, man. I hired a cleaning lady.
• 1:29:29
  Speaker 3: You got me a SodaStream. That's a fucking stand-up dude.
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 2: Well, you know, Big Jay, I said, I went over
• 1:29:33
  Speaker 2: to Big Jay and Christine. I was like, what do
• 1:29:35
  Speaker 2: I get him? I want to get him something I
• 1:29:37
  Speaker 2: said they said, which is the weirdest thing. You got
• 1:29:40
  Speaker 2: to get him a so-and-so.
• 1:29:42
  Speaker 3: That's good advice. Sometimes you have trouble making a purchase
• 1:29:45
  Speaker 3: for yourself, but someone else can, and you'll really appreciate it.
• 1:29:48
  Speaker 3: I was like, are you sure? It doesn't seem like
• 1:29:51
  Speaker 3: that's hard to come by. Undeniably.
• 1:29:53
  Speaker 1: We'll get into one more question here, man.
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 3: Look at this Drake. I know. Hey, y'all, what's up, Dio?
• 1:30:00
  Speaker 3: What's up, Hard?
• 1:30:01
  Speaker 6: What's up, Ari? I got a random question for Ari.
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 3: Why are you so angry?
• 1:30:05
  Speaker 6: Because it has exactly everything to do with Ari. But
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 6: Ari lived in Indonesia for a bit as a fellow
• 1:30:11
  Speaker 6: Jew by blood, not by religion. I was curious how
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 6: he felt traveling in a majority Muslim country. Did he
• 1:30:18
  Speaker 6: feel at home? Did he feel out of place? Did
• 1:30:21
  Speaker 6: he not think about it in any way, shape, or form?
• 1:30:23
  Speaker 6: I met a lot of fellow Jews, not necessarily by religion,
• 1:30:27
  Speaker 6: who feel like they were persecuted ever going to a
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 6: Muslim country. But I've never felt more welcomed into a
• 1:30:33
  Speaker 6: country than I did in India. So just curious question
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 6: for Ari.
• 1:30:37
  Speaker 3: Thanks. Good question. Good, interesting question.
• 1:30:41
  Speaker 1: Is there nerves there being Jewish and going if it's
• 1:30:44
  Speaker 1: all slimmed out?
• 1:30:45
  Speaker 2: And they call them slims, don't they?
• 1:30:47
  Speaker 3: Who does? No, but let's spread that.
• 1:30:49
  Speaker 2: I don't know.
• 1:30:50
  Speaker 3: Indonesians or Muslims?
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 2: Muslims.
• 1:30:52
  Speaker 3: Slims? Love it. Love it. All right, guys. You just
• 1:30:56
  Speaker 3: saw the genesis of a new derogatory term. Oh, there
• 1:30:58
  Speaker 3: we go. Slims. They were responsible for 9-11 and they'll
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 3: be responsible for the next attack if we don't fucking
• 1:31:03
  Speaker 3: take care of these slims.
• 1:31:04
  Speaker 2: That beefy, juicy terrorist.
• 1:31:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Snap into us. Yeah, it's the country
• 1:31:13
  Speaker 3: with the most Muslims in the world, Indonesia, because it's
• 1:31:16
  Speaker 3: got a massive population. But they're not the Jew-hating Muslims.
• 1:31:20
  Speaker 3: We've never been there, so they don't give a shit
• 1:31:21
  Speaker 3: about us. It's the ones around Israel that really care
• 1:31:24
  Speaker 3: about us. They are very Hindu in parts of it.
• 1:31:30
  Speaker 2: So what does that mean?
• 1:31:31
  Speaker 3: Like, what would you say? So it goes Muslim, then,
• 1:31:33
  Speaker 3: or Hindu, then Muslim, then Christian. Okay. In the areas
• 1:31:38
  Speaker 3: of Indonesia. And so in the Hindu parts, one of
• 1:31:42
  Speaker 3: their great symbols is a backward swastika, which I always
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 3: forget which way it goes. So you see it everywhere
• 1:31:48
  Speaker 3: on motorbikes, on the fucking manhole covers. And you're just like,
• 1:31:51
  Speaker 3: you feel a little weird. Yeah.
• 1:31:54
  Speaker 2: You're like, if I look at this in a mirror,
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 2: things are getting dicey.
• 1:31:57
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But I fucking love Indonesia. Goddamn, that place.
• 1:32:01
  Speaker 1: You know what's fascinating is you say that, so you
• 1:32:04
  Speaker 1: see the symbol all over. It's like, if somebody showed
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: me that symbol here, somebody could write an article right
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 1: now that said, look.
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 2: At this shit all over Indonesia, hating Jews. And I
• 1:32:14
  Speaker 2: would look at it and just believe it.
• 1:32:16
  Speaker 3: Right, right, right, right. Absolutely you could. They could fool you,
• 1:32:19
  Speaker 3: leaving out details into getting you angry at something.
• 1:32:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, look, And then next thing you know, you're scared.
• 1:32:25
  Speaker 2: Now you've got Jews saying, we've got to get out
• 1:32:26
  Speaker 2: of it.
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 3: It's a beautiful symbol. Yeah, it is. Easy to draw. Yeah.
• 1:32:33
  Speaker 3: It's just the backwards one.
• 1:32:34
  Speaker 1: Oh, dude, I remember we had this kid, Scotty, when
• 1:32:36
  Speaker 1: we were growing up, dude, on the bus. We didn't
• 1:32:38
  Speaker 1: know anything about, like, anti-Semitism or anything in our town.
• 1:32:42
  Speaker 2: We didn't have any.
• 1:32:43
  Speaker 3: We didn't have Jews.
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 2: We didn't have Jews, yeah. We didn't have Jews yet. Now,
• 1:32:46
  Speaker 2: once you get a couple Jews, you freaking understand what's
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 2: going on.
• 1:32:48
  Speaker 3: Okay, okay. You guys are always looking for bargains. Fucking
• 1:32:51
  Speaker 3: come on. Quit complaining all the time. The soup is
• 1:32:55
  Speaker 3: warm enough. It's warm enough. Just eat it. Oh, yeah, so.
• 1:33:02
  Speaker 1: But we had seen the thing on fanflits or whatever, dude,
• 1:33:05
  Speaker 1: because David, dude, you know, it was like we had a,
• 1:33:07
  Speaker 1: you see a lot of like anti-Semit fanflits. I think
• 1:33:10
  Speaker 1: just people putting the symbol on stuff like show up tonight,
• 1:33:12
  Speaker 1: you know.
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 2: But no, it wasn't against Jews. I think it was
• 1:33:15
  Speaker 2: just about like fucking being angry and like, you know,
• 1:33:18
  Speaker 2: changing each other's motor oil and shit.
• 1:33:20
  Speaker 3: So we.
• 1:33:22
  Speaker 1: Had this kid, Scotty, on our bus one day and
• 1:33:24
  Speaker 1: we just drew a big swastika just on his shirt.
• 1:33:27
  Speaker 2: Really?
• 1:33:28
  Speaker 3: Oh, dude, yeah.
• 1:33:29
  Speaker 2: And we had no idea it was about Jews or
• 1:33:31
  Speaker 2: anything or about Germans. We didn't even know it was
• 1:33:33
  Speaker 2: about Germans. We just knew it was like kind of.
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: Like this, like you'd see, here's what you'd see, like
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 1: emo kind of anarchist kids, rock metal. And they would
• 1:33:41
  Speaker 1: have that symbol sometimes on them or they would have
• 1:33:44
  Speaker 1: like the A with the cross through.
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 3: Or the thing. I'm convinced half the time it's anti-Semitism
• 1:33:47
  Speaker 3: or even racism. Like if you see somebody like write
• 1:33:50
  Speaker 3: the N word or something like that, it's almost like
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 3: somebody's got a Sharpie. And they've got a thumb to
• 1:33:56
  Speaker 3: the face. And then they go like, who's around here
• 1:33:58
  Speaker 3: who care the most? Like they don't really care. Right.
• 1:34:01
  Speaker 3: They'll be like, well, there's a temple right there. I
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 3: was like, sweet, kike. All right, let's go. But if
• 1:34:05
  Speaker 3: there was like, you know, if there was like a
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 3: Baptist church, like, all right, N-word. Yeah. But like, they
• 1:34:08
  Speaker 3: don't care. They're just like, what's going to get them?
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 2: Or if there's a fat farm, you just draw lettuce
• 1:34:13
  Speaker 2: out there. But yeah, you're right. I think that's part
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 2: of the mentality.
• 1:34:16
  Speaker 1: I think looking into the mentality of things is like
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 1: the step that we're missing with so many things.
• 1:34:21
  Speaker 2: Like, yeah.
• 1:34:22
  Speaker 1: The person's like, what can I draw here that's A,
• 1:34:24
  Speaker 1: going to get anybody to look and even care?
• 1:34:26
  Speaker 3: Or gamers. They're like, oh, fucking fuck you. Fuck AIDS
• 1:34:29
  Speaker 3: into your brain, you fucking F-bot. You know, it's like
• 1:34:32
  Speaker 3: they don't really care. They're just like saying something. And
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 3: if you take that off there, like, look what he said.
• 1:34:36
  Speaker 3: You're like, no, he was saying that on Call of Duty.
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 3: The second he walked into the kitchen, it's all over. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:34:44
  Speaker 3: He's like, hi, honey. Oh, Keisha, thank you.
• 1:34:48
  Speaker 2: To his black, it could even be his black wife.
• 1:34:50
  Speaker 2: And he's like, yeah.
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's just so interesting, the context, the way we're
• 1:34:54
  Speaker 1: serving stuff. But we drew it on Scotty, dude, and
• 1:34:56
  Speaker 1: the crazy part was, so his parents, you know, they
• 1:34:58
  Speaker 1: got it. They didn't probably even know what it was.
• 1:35:00
  Speaker 1: They washed the shirt.
• 1:35:01
  Speaker 2: We had to wear the shirt all the time throughout
• 1:35:03
  Speaker 2: the rest of the year, so it would still be
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 2: just lightly faded in there.
• 1:35:06
  Speaker 3: Dude, I took a dump, and I couldn't make it home.
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 3: I couldn't make it home from synagogue to my house.
• 1:35:10
  Speaker 3: And it was only three blocks, but it was like,
• 1:35:12
  Speaker 3: I didn't know how to control my bowels back then.
• 1:35:14
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I got to, it's coming. It's turtling,
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 3: and it's coming. So I ducked into my neighbor's side yard.
• 1:35:19
  Speaker 3: in between the bushes, and I just let go of
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 3: a log. And then I like wiped with my underwear
• 1:35:25
  Speaker 3: and took my underwear with me.
• 1:35:26
  Speaker 2: Oh, I better do that, yeah.
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 3: And then, so later though, they found the dump. I mean,
• 1:35:31
  Speaker 3: I don't know what I was thinking that it was
• 1:35:32
  Speaker 3: going to go unfound, but they found it. They thought
• 1:35:35
  Speaker 3: it was a hate crime. Uh-uh. Yeah, they're like, they're
• 1:35:37
  Speaker 3: fucking shitting on the yard of Jews. They were talking
• 1:35:40
  Speaker 3: about a synagogue. I didn't have the heart to tell.
• 1:35:42
  Speaker 3: I just sat there like, They didn't know how to
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 3: tell me. We're all worried about these hate crimes going around.
• 1:35:48
  Speaker 3: It's just these Jew bowels not working. Oh, my God, dude.
• 1:35:51
  Speaker 2: The original hate crime from God, Jew bowels. God did
• 1:35:56
  Speaker 2: it to me.
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 3: It was a nice log, though. It was like a
• 1:36:03
  Speaker 3: nice one. Was it? Yeah. I mean, oh, yeah, they
• 1:36:07
  Speaker 3: were so mad. Oh, man.
• 1:36:10
  Speaker 2: Your tour, where are you going on this current tour?
• 1:36:13
  Speaker 3: I got Tacoma and Spokane next. Oh, nice. And then
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 3: I'm doing Boston. I'm just finally back to Boston. I
• 1:36:17
  Speaker 3: started my tour last tour in Boston. I'll be at
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 3: the Wilbur on December 9th. So that's like a first big. Really?
• 1:36:23
  Speaker 3: You're going to be at the Wilbur? Yeah. Congrats, dude. Thanks, buddy. Thanks. Yeah.
• 1:36:27
  Speaker 2: That's cool, man.
• 1:36:28
  Speaker 3: It's a cool place. It's like one of the best
• 1:36:30
  Speaker 3: theaters that there are, performance-wise. Yeah.
• 1:36:35
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. I think that would be awesome.
• 1:36:37
  Speaker 3: Thanks. Yeah, yeah. I'm excited about it.
• 1:36:38
  Speaker 2: And people are wanting to come out and see comedy.
• 1:36:40
  Speaker 2: And also, I think one thing.
• 1:36:41
  Speaker 3: It's great. It's back. It's back. everybody's back and excited.
• 1:36:44
  Speaker 3: For right now, anyway. And here's what you don't see
• 1:36:46
  Speaker 3: in comedy clubs so far. You don't see this guy. Right.
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 3: You know?
• 1:36:51
  Speaker 2: He's not there yet.
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 3: He's not there yet.
• 1:36:52
  Speaker 2: No, he's still online.
• 1:36:53
  Speaker 3: Yeah. People are like, oh, welcome to comedy. Sure. He's
• 1:36:57
  Speaker 3: still online, yeah. We'll do December 9th. AriShafir.com. Get tickets. Yep.
• 1:37:01
  Speaker 2: December, what is that? December 9th, you said?
• 1:37:03
  Speaker 3: December 9th, yeah. I got like Oklahoma City and San
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 3: Antonio and Tampa and Orlando and places like that.
• 1:37:09
  Speaker 2: AriShafir.com. You can get tickets. Remember we did that Sam
• 1:37:12
  Speaker 2: Adams thing. You remember that?
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Oh, thanks for that. Yeah, you hooked me up
• 1:37:16
  Speaker 3: with that fucking... It was good, that commercial. It should
• 1:37:19
  Speaker 3: have been funnier in that commercial. I got serious. I
• 1:37:21
  Speaker 3: regret it. You know what?
• 1:37:22
  Speaker 2: Mine was kind of serious, too.
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 3: I know.
• 1:37:23
  Speaker 2: I think they wanted a little bit of seriousness.
• 1:37:25
  Speaker 3: A little bit, but we should have fucked around more. Segura,
• 1:37:28
  Speaker 3: when he was giving up for his wife, he's like,
• 1:37:30
  Speaker 3: my first wife, he kept referring to her as first.
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 3: It's like, oh, that's the line. That's your joking.
• 1:37:34
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:37:35
  Speaker 3: You could be serious and still joke, and I forgot.
• 1:37:37
  Speaker 3: I had a day to prepare.
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, same. It was short notice, kind of.
• 1:37:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, half Half of the people cried in them.
• 1:37:44
  Speaker 3: I'm like, you guys, we're comedians.
• 1:37:46
  Speaker 2: What are you crying about our mom for? Well, my
• 1:37:49
  Speaker 2: whole podcast is based on crying about my mom. But no,
• 1:37:53
  Speaker 2: I totally also understand what you're saying, dude.
• 1:37:56
  Speaker 3: Trust me. I had to go to comedy court. Robert
• 1:37:58
  Speaker 3: Kelly and Big Jay took me to comedy court.
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 2: Did they?
• 1:38:01
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they're like, what is this? I was like, fuck.
• 1:38:04
  Speaker 3: They found it. They were so mad.
• 1:38:06
  Speaker 2: What was it about?
• 1:38:07
  Speaker 3: Not being funny in that Sam Adams commercial. Oh, really?
• 1:38:10
  Speaker 2: That's what they did?
• 1:38:11
  Speaker 3: Yeah. They're like, are you legitimately giving it up for
• 1:38:14
  Speaker 3: your friend Red Band helping you just in a serious way?
• 1:38:18
  Speaker 3: And I was like, I don't know. They gave me
• 1:38:20
  Speaker 3: money to buy.
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 2: So they gave you money? That's yours?
• 1:38:23
  Speaker 3: I'm like, fuck, you're right. It's just like, yeah, you
• 1:38:26
  Speaker 3: got to go on comedy court. I'll get a trial
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 3: for you.
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 2: Dude, get me. a trial, bro. You might have to
• 1:38:31
  Speaker 2: plead guilty, though.
• 1:38:32
  Speaker 3: If they show you that, you might be like, I
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 3: throw myself at the mercy of the court on this one.
• 1:38:35
  Speaker 1: Oh, yeah, I will, bro. Oh, I got to go
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 1: out there and do that, man. Yeah, dude, I wish
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 1: there was more. I think I'm also always jealous of
• 1:38:43
  Speaker 1: New York comics. You guys just get to be in
• 1:38:45
  Speaker 1: such a place more where it feels like They're doing
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: real comedy.
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 3: Yep. Pushing each other.
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah, pushing each other, not being as afraid. I think
• 1:38:56
  Speaker 1: there's definitely a lot of fear in L.A., fear of
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 1: the industry.
• 1:38:59
  Speaker 3: The industry, yeah.
• 1:39:00
  Speaker 1: But then you also see what the industry can do
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 1: to guys when they write articles and stuff, and that
• 1:39:04
  Speaker 1: gets scary.
• 1:39:05
  Speaker 2: You know, it gets scary.
• 1:39:06
  Speaker 1: But like you're saying, to always know that you have
• 1:39:09
  Speaker 1: what you have and that intention can, you know, can
• 1:39:17
  Speaker 1: kind of show up down the line.
• 1:39:19
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean, it'd be nice if I was like,
• 1:39:21
  Speaker 3: a clean comic. Sometimes I'd be like, that would be cool,
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 3: but that's not the kind I caught. Yeah. I caught
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 3: my kind.
• 1:39:27
  Speaker 2: Yeah, you catch a different kind.
• 1:39:28
  Speaker 3: It'd be great if I'd make jokes about food only,
• 1:39:31
  Speaker 3: but like. Yeah. Bacon. That's why I like, that's why
• 1:39:34
  Speaker 3: I like, when they were doing the rap, when they
• 1:39:37
  Speaker 3: were all angry about rap, you know, and, Olivia Dukakis
• 1:39:40
  Speaker 3: or wherever it was. Like one of them was like
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 3: really leading the charge of it. Like they put the
• 1:39:44
  Speaker 3: warning label on rap song, but they were trying to
• 1:39:46
  Speaker 3: just ban it completely. And John Denver spoke up to Congress.
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 3: Clean ass John Denver. He was like, guys, you can't
• 1:39:53
  Speaker 3: tell musicians. And he was like, this doesn't affect me.
• 1:39:56
  Speaker 3: I'm clean as shit. What do you even curse? You know? Right.
• 1:39:59
  Speaker 3: Rocky Mountain High was like his most risque thing. And
• 1:40:01
  Speaker 3: he goes, it ain't even about drugs. Right. It's about
• 1:40:03
  Speaker 3: the high you get being in nature. Damn. But he's like,
• 1:40:06
  Speaker 3: take me home country. It's like, And that guy is saying,
• 1:40:09
  Speaker 3: do not tell these other musicians what they should be
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 3: rapping about. That's crazy. You've got to let them do it.
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 3: That's just, you have to. And that's John Denver defending that.
• 1:40:22
  Speaker 3: It's crazy.
• 1:40:23
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's fascinating, man.
• 1:40:26
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's fascinating what fears are going into things when
• 1:40:29
  Speaker 1: anybody's making choices and what do we really want and
• 1:40:32
  Speaker 1: then what are we really fearful of.
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 3: I saw something you said about D'Elia where you're like,
• 1:40:37
  Speaker 3: there's one part that I liked. You're like, I'm not
• 1:40:40
  Speaker 3: even sure, like even talking about him, if this is
• 1:40:42
  Speaker 3: going to like hurt me, like affect me in some way.
• 1:40:46
  Speaker 3: And that's like, that goes through my mind too. And
• 1:40:48
  Speaker 3: I'd love to be able to say like, I'm not
• 1:40:50
  Speaker 3: thinking about it, but I am. It's like, it's like,
• 1:40:53
  Speaker 3: so you have trouble even defending your friends. You can
• 1:40:55
  Speaker 3: stay out of it, but it's like hard to even
• 1:40:56
  Speaker 3: defend them. Cause like, are they going to come for me? Right. For,
• 1:40:59
  Speaker 3: for just saying like, Hey, chill. They did with Norm
• 1:41:01
  Speaker 3: McDonald saying, I don't think Roseanne realized that chick was black.
• 1:41:06
  Speaker 3: fuck you. It's like, I'm not saying it's okay. I'm
• 1:41:08
  Speaker 3: saying she didn't mean it racist. Yeah. And people like
• 1:41:12
  Speaker 3: got mad at him. It's just like, there's no, yeah,
• 1:41:15
  Speaker 3: you gotta be worried about it.
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 2: But, but I think it's losing. It's a, it's losing
• 1:41:19
  Speaker 2: its luster as well. That fuck you from nowhere.
• 1:41:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You can, the thing is with the LA comics,
• 1:41:27
  Speaker 3: I get, I get the need to weigh in real
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 3: fast and like cash in on someone else's hard work
• 1:41:32
  Speaker 3: like mine. But like, uh, But you can take a
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 3: different stance and still cash in. You can get your
• 1:41:38
  Speaker 3: podcast out the next day. Right. But why not take
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 3: the stance of like, I don't know, defending fucking comedy
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 3: and jokes and be like, no, no joke goes too far.
• 1:41:47
  Speaker 3: What are you talking about? Tim Dillon did it with me.
• 1:41:50
  Speaker 3: He did this whole thing. He was like, I don't
• 1:41:51
  Speaker 3: care for this at all. That tweet, what he wrote
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 3: was wrong. And his co-host or whatever is like, what
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 3: do you mean? He's like, it's over the line. What
• 1:42:00
  Speaker 3: you said about Aretha Franklin? She's one of our, and
• 1:42:02
  Speaker 3: he goes, no, no, no, no. It's Kobe Bryant. He goes, wait, what?
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 3: He goes, yeah, Kobe Bryant. He goes, no, Aretha Franklin,
• 1:42:07
  Speaker 3: right here. When she died, he wrote this. And he's like, oh, no,
• 1:42:11
  Speaker 3: it's a different one. He goes, well, no, I'm mad
• 1:42:12
  Speaker 3: about the Aretha Franklin one. And that's his way of saying, guys, guys,
• 1:42:15
  Speaker 3: he makes fun of dead celebrities. He doesn't, like, you know,
• 1:42:18
  Speaker 3: calm yourself. But he did it in a funny way.
• 1:42:21
  Speaker 2: I think in some ways he's a lot of the
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 2: leader of that movement.
• 1:42:24
  Speaker 3: He's pushing it, dude. He's pushing the line. He's pushing
• 1:42:27
  Speaker 3: that line back because that line wants to keep coming
• 1:42:29
  Speaker 3: to where we're not going to be able to do
• 1:42:30
  Speaker 3: any jokes and we're not going to be able to say,
• 1:42:32
  Speaker 3: tranny or anything anything that you could have before yeah
• 1:42:36
  Speaker 3: uh that you just now can't you can't make fun
• 1:42:38
  Speaker 3: of fucking kids getting shot which i for a while
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 3: when they were saying like you can't be racist or
• 1:42:42
  Speaker 3: sexist or like well you could always make fucking school
• 1:42:44
  Speaker 3: shooting jokes and then they're taking those away yeah and
• 1:42:46
  Speaker 3: like guys we're not promoting school shootings we're trying to
• 1:42:48
  Speaker 3: find some light in this thing and you need guys
• 1:42:51
  Speaker 3: like tim dylan me there's plenty of guys out there
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 3: we're like we're pushing that line back comedy needs tim
• 1:42:57
  Speaker 3: dylan yeah to keep you safe where you are where
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 3: you think you're safe on the line You're Kabul, man.
• 1:43:03
  Speaker 3: And if America pulls out, all those contractors are dead.
• 1:43:06
  Speaker 3: So you need those frontline workers fucking pushing it.
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's definitely true, man. It's definitely true.
• 1:43:12
  Speaker 1: And it's interesting, too, about when you get offended and why.
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: What makes me offended? What's really going on? And then, yeah,
• 1:43:19
  Speaker 1: that then companies are then serving offense to people. Hey,
• 1:43:22
  Speaker 1: here's some offense. You like this, don't you?
• 1:43:25
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you like this.
• 1:43:26
  Speaker 1: And they know by the algorithm that you like it.
• 1:43:27
  Speaker 1: So it's like, oh, here you like this. It's almost
• 1:43:29
  Speaker 1: like if somebody came up, you like staying healthy. And
• 1:43:32
  Speaker 1: somebody came up while you weren't really looking and just
• 1:43:36
  Speaker 1: put a bunch of fucking Fritos in your mouth.
• 1:43:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You're right. And they're like, I don't want that.
• 1:43:44
  Speaker 3: You're chewing. Why are you chewing then? Yeah.
• 1:43:46
  Speaker 2: And before you know it, half of it's in your system.
• 1:43:48
  Speaker 3: Now you're addicted.
• 1:43:50
  Speaker 2: It's really fucking fascinating. And we let it happen to
• 1:43:53
  Speaker 2: the human population. We didn't know they were doing experiments
• 1:43:57
  Speaker 2: on it. When Facebook was doing experiments of like, we're
• 1:44:00
  Speaker 2: going to show some people. negative stuff and some people
• 1:44:04
  Speaker 2: positive stuff. We're going to analyze their comments after that.
• 1:44:08
  Speaker 2: And they said the negative people were more negative, the
• 1:44:10
  Speaker 2: ones who were exposed to negative. They were doing literal
• 1:44:12
  Speaker 2: experiments on just our user group. And they found out
• 1:44:15
  Speaker 2: that would rile them up and they made more comments.
• 1:44:17
  Speaker 2: And so that means we have to show everybody more
• 1:44:19
  Speaker 2: negative stuff.
• 1:44:20
  Speaker 3: Wow. And then it affects your mood all the time.
• 1:44:22
  Speaker 3: You're looking for the anger and you're just like... Do
• 1:44:27
  Speaker 3: you ever see those real hippies that are like, like
• 1:44:30
  Speaker 3: cry over like a sunset and like, you know what
• 1:44:32
  Speaker 3: I mean? It's like, it's just the trees blowing. It's
• 1:44:34
  Speaker 3: so beautiful. It's like, damn, they got the right mindset though.
• 1:44:37
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 1:44:38
  Speaker 3: You know, it's like they're seeing the beauty in everything.
• 1:44:40
  Speaker 3: I want to get back to that a little bit.
• 1:44:42
  Speaker 1: Do you think you could ever get back there? Cause
• 1:44:43
  Speaker 1: it seemed like you come from a darker place kind of.
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 3: Yeah. But it's also like, yeah, but I still, I mean,
• 1:44:50
  Speaker 3: I do plenty of like mushrooms and stuff. So that
• 1:44:52
  Speaker 3: helps me. It helps you. Oh, for sure. Oh yeah.
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 2: It definitely helps, man. It definitely helps.
• 1:44:56
  Speaker 3: See like the greatness and things.
• 1:44:58
  Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's like we've got to be reminded because, yeah,
• 1:45:00
  Speaker 1: it's almost like just the society we built. And I
• 1:45:03
  Speaker 1: don't even know if it's humanity over all time. I
• 1:45:05
  Speaker 1: think it just– when you look at the big scheme
• 1:45:07
  Speaker 1: of things, this could be– if this society goes on
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 1: for another 500,000 years and this is just a small moment.
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 3: It is. We're a blip.
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 3: For sure.
• 1:45:15
  Speaker 1: Remember when the first internet came out and everybody thought
• 1:45:18
  Speaker 1: it was all real?
• 1:45:20
  Speaker 2: That could be 50 years from now.
• 1:45:21
  Speaker 3: Before there was regulation. Can you believe what they were
• 1:45:23
  Speaker 3: letting their kids do? They were letting their 9-year-olds be
• 1:45:25
  Speaker 3: in this incredibly– dangerous, addictive, and fucking harmful thing.
• 1:45:30
  Speaker 2: Imagine just putting your nine-year-old in a pack of cigarettes
• 1:45:32
  Speaker 2: every day.
• 1:45:33
  Speaker 3: Dude, I was talking to my sister about it. And
• 1:45:36
  Speaker 3: I was like, are you worried about your kids being online?
• 1:45:39
  Speaker 3: I mean, the danger. You're seeing more and more of
• 1:45:42
  Speaker 3: how unsettling it is and bad it is for you.
• 1:45:44
  Speaker 3: And these are developing minds. So they're talking about you're
• 1:45:46
  Speaker 3: not supposed to smoke weed until you're 16 because it
• 1:45:49
  Speaker 3: hurts your development. Afterwards, they're like, fine, go for it.
• 1:45:51
  Speaker 3: So now you're letting a nine-year-old be exposed to this
• 1:45:54
  Speaker 3: terrible thing. And there's no real studies on it yet.
• 1:45:57
  Speaker 3: And what that's going to do. And she goes, yeah,
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 3: but you know, they need, I need to be able
• 1:46:02
  Speaker 3: to reach them, which nobody could reach us. We went
• 1:46:04
  Speaker 3: out to ride our bikes when we were 10, we
• 1:46:06
  Speaker 3: were gone. Right. We were safe. You know? Yeah. It
• 1:46:09
  Speaker 3: might be a molester here or there, but like mostly
• 1:46:12
  Speaker 3: we were safe, you know? And I was like, well,
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 3: what about a flip phone? If you need to reach them,
• 1:46:16
  Speaker 3: what about a flip phone? And then from the other room,
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 3: my nephew's like, shut up, uncle Ari, shut up. Cause like,
• 1:46:21
  Speaker 3: don't you get my fucking cell phone taken away. But like, yeah,
• 1:46:27
  Speaker 3: you're right. That's going to be a blip. No one's
• 1:46:28
  Speaker 3: going to remember that we were alive in a thousand years.
• 1:46:31
  Speaker 3: I know. That's crazy, too. Any of us. And so like,
• 1:46:33
  Speaker 3: none of this matters. That's crazy, too.
• 1:46:36
  Speaker 2: Do you think about having a family and stuff like that?
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 2: You said you don't want kids, right?
• 1:46:38
  Speaker 3: No, I had a vasectomy.
• 1:46:40
  Speaker 2: Did you really?
• 1:46:41
  Speaker 3: Yeah, a few years ago. No way. 2017, 2018, yeah.
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 2: Did you let people bid on it on eBay? I
• 1:46:46
  Speaker 2: feel like you could fucking get something.
• 1:46:48
  Speaker 3: You don't chop your dick off, Theo. That's not what
• 1:46:50
  Speaker 3: a vasectomy is. But you take part of your.
• 1:46:52
  Speaker 2: semen out or something semen oh.
• 1:46:53
  Speaker 3: No no vast deference yeah yeah it's just like tube
• 1:46:56
  Speaker 3: and you cut it and then solder the ends smell
• 1:46:59
  Speaker 3: a little barbecue while it's happening.
• 1:47:01
  Speaker 2: It seems like as a Jewish person you wouldn't do
• 1:47:03
  Speaker 2: that it seems like the most.
• 1:47:04
  Speaker 3: Anti-semitic I'm not a great Jew I'm not a great
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 3: Jew yeah I'm not a great Jew what about the
• 1:47:08
  Speaker 3: special you made the special Jew right I didn't make
• 1:47:11
  Speaker 3: it you didn't make it uh oh okay that's the
• 1:47:13
  Speaker 3: only real negative is I was gonna the producers they
• 1:47:16
  Speaker 3: were the only one it would have happened except the
• 1:47:17
  Speaker 3: producers pulled.
• 1:47:17
  Speaker 2: Out last second oh yeah cause Eric was gonna do
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 2: it too huh.
• 1:47:19
  Speaker 3: He was in he was willing to do it oh
• 1:47:21
  Speaker 3: I love him Yeah, he's the best. The venue, the Skirball,
• 1:47:25
  Speaker 3: they're like, sure, we're in. Hire some security. We're getting
• 1:47:27
  Speaker 3: some death threats. And then those fucking producers were like, well,
• 1:47:31
  Speaker 3: I don't think. They didn't try to help me find
• 1:47:32
  Speaker 3: another producer. They didn't try to transfer over their insurance.
• 1:47:35
  Speaker 3: They were just like, nah.
• 1:47:37
  Speaker 2: This ain't it.
• 1:47:38
  Speaker 3: I'm like, dude, we had 2,700 tickets sold. Six people
• 1:47:42
  Speaker 3: asked for refunds, which we gave it to them, and
• 1:47:45
  Speaker 3: those were sold again in fucking seconds.
• 1:47:47
  Speaker 1: Did you feel like the Jewish community stood up for
• 1:47:49
  Speaker 1: you as much in this? Does it matter really one.
• 1:47:51
  Speaker 3: Way or the other? For the Jew hour, most of
• 1:47:53
  Speaker 3: them were like, oh, this is really interesting and fun.
• 1:47:54
  Speaker 3: Sometimes they were like, this is anti-Semitic. But it's also like,
• 1:47:57
  Speaker 3: so what? It's like, go be angry. Right. None of
• 1:48:00
  Speaker 3: your feelings are real or not real. It doesn't matter.
• 1:48:02
  Speaker 3: It has nothing to do with me. Go be angry.
• 1:48:05
  Speaker 3: I'm not going to stop doing this. Because also, that
• 1:48:07
  Speaker 3: rabbi loved it. This rabbi hates it.
• 1:48:09
  Speaker 4: Right.
• 1:48:10
  Speaker 3: It's my experience, man. I can't. Kathleen McGee is a
• 1:48:13
  Speaker 3: comedian in... Was in Toronto, now she's Edmonton or Vancouver
• 1:48:17
  Speaker 3: whatever she's doing a joke about getting raped somebody's like
• 1:48:21
  Speaker 3: yeah you shouldn't be doing jokes about rape she was
• 1:48:23
  Speaker 3: like you're telling me not to artistically express my rape
• 1:48:29
  Speaker 3: lady's like yeah i don't like it it's like well
• 1:48:30
  Speaker 3: you can not like it all you want you're wrong
• 1:48:32
  Speaker 3: to fucking bring this up to me that's crazy that.
• 1:48:34
  Speaker 1: Is and that is when you put it like it
• 1:48:36
  Speaker 1: is crazy To say, I can't share whatever my experience
• 1:48:39
  Speaker 1: in the world is. Because then the biggest problem is
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 1: we're going to be stuck with just one experience.
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 3: What's already out. That's it. Exactly. And you're like, that's
• 1:48:47
  Speaker 3: not art. Art is wild outside the lines drawing. That's
• 1:48:51
  Speaker 3: what it is. You want a fucking Rat King and
• 1:48:55
  Speaker 3: you want a fucking Jim Gaffigan. They're way different. So
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 3: everyone has their own favorites.
• 1:49:00
  Speaker 1: And I do notice Brian Dorfman over at Zany's here
• 1:49:04
  Speaker 1: in Nashville is like, they started locking the phones up
• 1:49:06
  Speaker 1: sometimes again.
• 1:49:07
  Speaker 3: Yeah, they were doing it this weekend. They were? Love it.
• 1:49:10
  Speaker 3: Just for attention span, let alone stuff getting out, but
• 1:49:12
  Speaker 3: just for attention span. Like, I want you to hear
• 1:49:14
  Speaker 3: my setup. Right. To this joke about trees. It's not
• 1:49:16
  Speaker 3: even an offensive joke, but it's like, you're missing the setup, dude.
• 1:49:20
  Speaker 3: I love when you see in the audience sometimes, Stan,
• 1:49:22
  Speaker 3: I see people like on their phone, not taping me
• 1:49:26
  Speaker 3: or anything, just on their phone. And then I'll keep
• 1:49:28
  Speaker 3: going my bit because, you know, we can go a
• 1:49:29
  Speaker 3: little autopilot. And then I'll wait, and I'll be like,
• 1:49:33
  Speaker 3: hold on, you guys, let me make a point real quick. Sir, sir.
• 1:49:36
  Speaker 3: And they'll look up, and I'm like, what was I
• 1:49:38
  Speaker 3: talking about? And they're like, um, wedding? They gotta have
• 1:49:44
  Speaker 3: half heard a little bit. I'm like, nah, you're way off.
• 1:49:46
  Speaker 3: I'm like, the idea that you're still paying attention, this
• 1:49:48
  Speaker 3: is the most exciting thing in your week. You're at
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 3: a live stand-up comedy show, and you're missing it to scroll.
• 1:49:54
  Speaker 2: Because you're an addict.
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 3: Because we're all addicts.
• 1:49:58
  Speaker 2: Oh, that's the truth, man. That's the truth. It's like,
• 1:50:01
  Speaker 2: what's a worse addiction? What's this?
• 1:50:02
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:50:03
  Speaker 2: It's an addiction. That's the thing we're led.
• 1:50:05
  Speaker 3: Getting in the way of your life. That's what an
• 1:50:06
  Speaker 3: addiction is, right?
• 1:50:07
  Speaker 2: Yeah.
• 1:50:08
  Speaker 3: Not when you do it a lot, when it gets
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 3: in the way of your life. Sex addiction is like,
• 1:50:12
  Speaker 3: it's okay to fuck, but like you want to hang
• 1:50:14
  Speaker 3: out with your friends and you go off to fuck
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 3: because you can't stop yourself.
• 1:50:17
  Speaker 2: That's when it's an addiction. Well, that's what D'Elia talks
• 1:50:20
  Speaker 2: about too now.
• 1:50:21
  Speaker 1: He says like, he would literally be on his phone
• 1:50:23
  Speaker 1: all the time and he's like, and I equated it
• 1:50:25
  Speaker 1: later to like, he's just DMing, just literally like going
• 1:50:28
  Speaker 1: through like, you know, just any woman, anything that has
• 1:50:32
  Speaker 1: long hair, dude, and bumps on the front of its sternum, right?
• 1:50:35
  Speaker 2: It could even be measles, right? It could be anything.
• 1:50:39
  Speaker 1: And he's just DM, you know, it was like watching
• 1:50:41
  Speaker 1: somebody shoot heroin into their body.
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:50:44
  Speaker 2: But because it looks different, we don't equate it to
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 2: the same thing.
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 3: My favorite D'Elia was when he started and he was
• 1:50:49
  Speaker 3: with a chick and he was monogamous with her and like,
• 1:50:52
  Speaker 3: he was around willing to talk. He wasn't like running
• 1:50:55
  Speaker 3: off to do stuff. And then even when he was
• 1:50:57
  Speaker 3: single doing that, he's not doing anything wrong, but it'd
• 1:50:59
  Speaker 3: be like, Hang out, man. Come hang out. Stop that
• 1:51:03
  Speaker 3: for a second. Just come hang out. We're all chilling.
• 1:51:05
  Speaker 1: Well, that's the coolest thing is that that guy who
• 1:51:07
  Speaker 1: I didn't never knew that guy is back now.
• 1:51:09
  Speaker 3: Oh, really?
• 1:51:09
  Speaker 2: It's real interesting.
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 1: I mean, you could sit with Chris and have a
• 1:51:12
  Speaker 1: conversation and he's engaged and he tries to express to
• 1:51:16
  Speaker 1: you that he genuinely cares.
• 1:51:18
  Speaker 3: Oh, interesting.
• 1:51:18
  Speaker 2: It's interesting, man. It's powerful to see too.
• 1:51:21
  Speaker 3: Those cancelings really do set you free at some point
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 3: because you already did it. You already did it. So
• 1:51:25
  Speaker 3: now it's like, let me be who I am. Stop
• 1:51:27
  Speaker 3: caring about what other people think and just be you.
• 1:51:30
  Speaker 2: Yeah, that's what's kind of great. I almost feel like,
• 1:51:32
  Speaker 2: in a way, I'm kind of like, you're like a
• 1:51:34
  Speaker 2: free man.
• 1:51:35
  Speaker 3: It's like when you get COVID, right? You're scared of it,
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 3: scared of it. Then you get it. You're like, oh, well,
• 1:51:38
  Speaker 3: then I'm immune for the next six months. You're like, bars.
• 1:51:40
  Speaker 3: You got antibodies. You guys want to hang out?
• 1:51:42
  Speaker 2: You got the antibodies, right?
• 1:51:43
  Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly.
• 1:51:44
  Speaker 1: You're like Frederick Douglass now, Sean, not George Washington all
• 1:51:47
  Speaker 1: of a sudden.
• 1:51:49
  Speaker 2: Everything here is changing. Any other good questions before we
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 2: came in?
• 1:51:51
  Speaker 3: Yeah, dude, Nashville's a cool town. I'm glad you're here.
• 1:51:53
  Speaker 3: This is like, it'll be hard not to drink for sure,
• 1:51:56
  Speaker 3: but like, it's a drinking town, but like, it's cool here, man.
• 1:52:00
  Speaker 3: It is. It's interesting.
• 1:52:01
  Speaker 2: You get to see some weird shit. Like, you get
• 1:52:04
  Speaker 2: to go over to Kid Rock's house. You get to
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 2: go to fucking, like, I'm friends with Jimmy John.
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 3: Of course you got to know Kid Rock. That makes
• 1:52:12
  Speaker 3: complete sense. I wouldn't have thought of it until you
• 1:52:14
  Speaker 3: said it.
• 1:52:14
  Speaker 2: Out of his mind, dude.
• 1:52:16
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:52:16
  Speaker 1: And my audience isn't a country audience. My audience is
• 1:52:18
  Speaker 1: kind of just, like, I think just regular guys.
• 1:52:20
  Speaker 3: Who likes the country. Who likes looking at it from afar. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:52:24
  Speaker 2: Who wouldn't mind, yeah, maybe more than living in it.
• 1:52:25
  Speaker 3: Give me a version of country. Yeah.
• 1:52:27
  Speaker 1: But I don't get, like, the, like, the, like, I,
• 1:52:30
  Speaker 1: I don't get the red, white, and blue, or the
• 1:52:34
  Speaker 1: rebel flag guys. Those have never been my audience. My
• 1:52:37
  Speaker 1: biggest sales are in Portland and Australia. So I think
• 1:52:40
  Speaker 1: I get just.
• 1:52:43
  Speaker 3: I don't know. Australia? That's your big one? Really? That's crazy.
• 1:52:47
  Speaker 3: They're a great market.
• 1:52:48
  Speaker 2: Maybe Melbourne, Australia, or just anywhere in Australia.
• 1:52:50
  Speaker 3: Comics Lounge.
• 1:52:51
  Speaker 2: Australia's awesome. And Australia's kind of a fucking.
• 1:52:54
  Speaker 1: They're a place built on criminals, you know?
• 1:52:56
  Speaker 2: But they got that as a vibe.
• 1:52:58
  Speaker 3: Yeah. For sure.
• 1:52:58
  Speaker 1: So I think that's who... A lot of my parties
• 1:53:01
  Speaker 1: are just recovering criminals, bro. That's exactly what I think
• 1:53:04
  Speaker 1: it is, man. Some emotional recovering from emotional, some recovering
• 1:53:07
  Speaker 1: from actual crimes. Here we got a question right here
• 1:53:10
  Speaker 1: from a guy, and we'll finish up.
• 1:53:12
  Speaker 3: Hello, Ari Shafir. You said it kind of wrong. I
• 1:53:14
  Speaker 3: was wondering if you would rather have sex with Hillary
• 1:53:17
  Speaker 3: Clinton or... Stop it right there. I want to. Okay.
• 1:53:22
  Speaker 3: I mean, she'd be hot as shit, man. Because you
• 1:53:24
  Speaker 3: know she's a straight killer, so you know she fucks
• 1:53:26
  Speaker 3: like she kills. Yeah. Hard and without remorse.
• 1:53:29
  Speaker 2: I bet she only does reverse cowboy and that she
• 1:53:32
  Speaker 2: is on a tablet while she's doing it. Exactly.
• 1:53:35
  Speaker 3: Making deals, fucking getting her foundation funded.
• 1:53:38
  Speaker 2: Yeah, ordering pizza.
• 1:53:39
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Multitasking. Multitasking. You're right. Reverse cowgirl with Hillary Clinton.
• 1:53:46
  Speaker 3: Somebody's got to Photoshop that from one of my tours.
• 1:53:48
  Speaker 3: Hillary Clinton reverse cowgirling me. She's ordering stuff from the
• 1:53:52
  Speaker 3: new Ari Shapiro tour.
• 1:53:56
  Speaker 2: That's funny.
• 1:53:56
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I would go.
• 1:53:58
  Speaker 1: You know what's funny is you go to Fayetteville, Arkansas,
• 1:54:00
  Speaker 1: and it's just a small college town, and it's really neat,
• 1:54:02
  Speaker 1: and you realize that that's where Bill and Hillary met
• 1:54:04
  Speaker 1: each other and stuff. It's a really, it's just interesting.
• 1:54:08
  Speaker 1: It adds a different context to it all. When you
• 1:54:10
  Speaker 1: break down their fame, right, to like, oh, you guys
• 1:54:12
  Speaker 1: are just two Fayetteville people at their heart.
• 1:54:14
  Speaker 2: It's real, real interesting.
• 1:54:15
  Speaker 3: You got successful, but.
• 1:54:16
  Speaker 1: Yeah, you're like, this is like, yeah, just a, it's
• 1:54:19
  Speaker 1: actually a beautiful college town. It's like, this is a
• 1:54:21
  Speaker 1: small college town, and you guys just.
• 1:54:23
  Speaker 3: That's the thing people always forget about like Rogan or
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 3: any of us too. They're like, oh, he's, because he's
• 1:54:27
  Speaker 3: got this big platform, right? So you're like, he has
• 1:54:30
  Speaker 3: a responsibility or whatever. And I keep trying to say
• 1:54:32
  Speaker 3: this in the nicest way. Like, I'm just a douchebag comic.
• 1:54:35
  Speaker 3: So are you. So Joe. Yeah. We don't know anything. Right.
• 1:54:39
  Speaker 3: We're just comics. Right. I'm still just a door guy
• 1:54:41
  Speaker 3: at the comedy store. Right. Just trying to make a
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 3: funny joke. And I might've gotten more successful and so
• 1:54:45
  Speaker 3: are you, so are any of us. But like, we're
• 1:54:47
  Speaker 3: still just these beginning comics in our hearts. Right. We're
• 1:54:50
  Speaker 3: still these guys like, want to go to Jerry's Deli
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 3: late at night? Yeah. And that hasn't changed. The cars
• 1:54:57
  Speaker 3: are driving. That's the only shit that's changed. Yeah.
• 1:54:59
  Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a good point, man. I'm so glad that
• 1:55:02
  Speaker 1: you came over and spent some time, man. Some of
• 1:55:04
  Speaker 1: this stuff I just need to be reminded of. I
• 1:55:06
  Speaker 1: need to get a dose of that New York attitude
• 1:55:09
  Speaker 1: that you get from you. And just to not be
• 1:55:14
  Speaker 1: afraid to just be free sometimes. I get so scared.
• 1:55:18
  Speaker 1: I do get so scared. And not just what I'm
• 1:55:19
  Speaker 1: going to say. Sometimes I don't get that scared about that.
• 1:55:22
  Speaker 1: but I do get some scared about like taking a
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 1: break or taking care of myself or like, what do
• 1:55:26
  Speaker 1: I need to do for me? Because I think I
• 1:55:28
  Speaker 1: was always just like, the only way I felt okay
• 1:55:31
  Speaker 1: is if other, is if other people were, you know,
• 1:55:34
  Speaker 1: like living for others.
• 1:55:35
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 1:55:36
  Speaker 2: Or when you're growing up, you're like, yeah. So it's
• 1:55:38
  Speaker 2: just that kind of shit, you know?
• 1:55:40
  Speaker 3: Um, I'm going to make the suggestion. I've made it
• 1:55:42
  Speaker 3: to other people in our, in our, in our old
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 3: comedy store group that I've seen get famous. Um, it's
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 3: going to be hard, but I would say like, and
• 1:55:49
  Speaker 3: you could pre-record some podcasts if you want to like
• 1:55:51
  Speaker 3: not have be gone from the fans, you know, but
• 1:55:55
  Speaker 3: go to another country, go stay in some hostels and
• 1:55:57
  Speaker 3: leave your phone here in America. Find a burner when
• 1:56:00
  Speaker 3: you get there and take a month, maybe more, but
• 1:56:03
  Speaker 3: take a month minimum and just get lost. You, I mean,
• 1:56:05
  Speaker 3: you got money now, dude. So it's like to protect yourself,
• 1:56:09
  Speaker 3: it's going to be hard. I can talk you through
• 1:56:10
  Speaker 3: where to go and stuff like that. But like the
• 1:56:12
  Speaker 3: world out there is wild. It reminds you that things
• 1:56:14
  Speaker 3: are fun and you'll be, no one will know who
• 1:56:16
  Speaker 3: the fuck you are. You got recognized once. Maybe it's
• 1:56:20
  Speaker 3: a bunch of Irish people who are like, Oh, I've
• 1:56:22
  Speaker 3: never heard of any of that shit, you know? And like,
• 1:56:26
  Speaker 3: you just get free. You get free out there, just
• 1:56:29
  Speaker 3: out there in the world, South America, or it's like
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 3: literally stay in hostels just to socialize. You'll get used
• 1:56:35
  Speaker 3: to it. And like we said, like people adapt, you
• 1:56:37
  Speaker 3: get used to a fucking hostel cot in four days.
• 1:56:41
  Speaker 3: And then like, then you're just like floating. And it's,
• 1:56:45
  Speaker 3: it's just, it's just so freeing on a level that
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 3: I can't really fully express. And I would consider doing it.
• 1:56:52
  Speaker 3: Say like, put a date like five months from now
• 1:56:54
  Speaker 3: or something. Right. So it's like, tell your fans like, hey,
• 1:56:56
  Speaker 3: I'm going to be taking January off or something, you know?
• 1:57:00
  Speaker 1: It's funny that we came to America for freedom and
• 1:57:02
  Speaker 1: now it's like we're going.
• 1:57:03
  Speaker 2: Other places for it in a weird way.
• 1:57:05
  Speaker 4: Yeah.
• 1:57:06
  Speaker 3: Yeah. It's interesting.
• 1:57:08
  Speaker 2: Happy 9-11, dude. And the best Ari Shaffir joke I
• 1:57:10
  Speaker 2: can think of saying, dude, happy 9-11. Thanks. Thanks for
• 1:57:14
  Speaker 2: being here.
• 1:57:14
  Speaker 1: You guys check out arishaffir.com for tickets to the tour.
• 1:57:18
  Speaker 3: My podcast, Ari Shaffir's Skeptic Tank, and yoga classes online. Yeah,
• 1:57:22
  Speaker 3: I want to have you back on. Maybe about relapse, actually.
• 1:57:24
  Speaker 2: We did that walk in the woods, man.
• 1:57:25
  Speaker 3: That was fun as shit. Yeah. Before we recorded stuff,
• 1:57:28
  Speaker 3: like video recorded, but it was just like carrying mics.
• 1:57:31
  Speaker 3: I got lav mics for that same kind of shit now.
• 1:57:34
  Speaker 1: Dude, Blair Sochi, do you know who that is? She
• 1:57:36
  Speaker 1: does the breath work. She's a comedian.
• 1:57:38
  Speaker 3: Oh, really?
• 1:57:39
  Speaker 2: And she also does the breath work. Dude, I did
• 1:57:40
  Speaker 2: a session with her last week, and.
• 1:57:41
  Speaker 3: It was crazy, bro. She lived here or back in LA?
• 1:57:44
  Speaker 2: She's in LA, so we just did it over Zoom.
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah, I know her.
• 1:57:46
  Speaker 2: But it was like.
• 1:57:48
  Speaker 1: Just like you do all this breathing so you get
• 1:57:50
  Speaker 1: all this carbon or something in your body. And then
• 1:57:52
  Speaker 1: like your nervous system is kind of shut down. So
• 1:57:54
  Speaker 1: you're just like literally standing around in your emotions and shit.
• 1:57:58
  Speaker 2: Shit was fucking deep.
• 1:58:00
  Speaker 3: Isn't that kind of yoga where it's like.
• 1:58:02
  Speaker 2: It's kind of like that in a way.
• 1:58:03
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 1:58:04
  Speaker 1: That shit but for 25 minutes you're doing that damn
• 1:58:07
  Speaker 1: dude you I couldn't move my arms you're literally just
• 1:58:09
  Speaker 1: lobstered out dude I mean you're freaking Jordan Peterson's pet
• 1:58:13
  Speaker 1: really yeah you're just lobstered out and then so then
• 1:58:15
  Speaker 1: all that's left is like finally some of these emotions
• 1:58:17
  Speaker 1: come up out of the sediment of like oh it
• 1:58:20
  Speaker 1: felt crazy bro that's cool and you're off all that
• 1:58:23
  Speaker 1: bawling like just tears not even tears that I wanted
• 1:58:26
  Speaker 1: to cry tears that had just been in me just
• 1:58:28
  Speaker 1: fucking shh.
• 1:58:31
  Speaker 3: Really?
• 1:58:31
  Speaker 2: It was real fascinating, man. I'm actually hoping to do
• 1:58:34
  Speaker 2: it with her again on Monday.
• 1:58:35
  Speaker 3: Oh, I'm going to hit her up.
• 1:58:36
  Speaker 2: I want to keep doing it.
• 1:58:38
  Speaker 3: She teaches it for, like, a class class?
• 1:58:39
  Speaker 2: Yeah, she just does it. Yeah, she knows how to
• 1:58:41
  Speaker 2: do it.
• 1:58:42
  Speaker 3: Cool.
• 1:58:43
  Speaker 2: She knows how to do it with people.
• 1:58:45
  Speaker 1: But, yeah, man, you're a pioneer, man, in a lot
• 1:58:48
  Speaker 1: of ways, man. And, you know, it's fascinating to hear.
• 1:58:51
  Speaker 1: Thank you for being here today.
• 1:58:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, thanks for having me, buddy. It's nice seeing you.
• 1:58:55
  Speaker 3: You too. All right, gay sex now?
• 1:58:58
  Speaker 2: Yeah, we'll do a little.
• 1:58:59
  Speaker 3: We'll do a little, man.
• 1:59:01
  Speaker 2: Sean, you're in first, dude, huh?
• 1:59:03
  Speaker 3: Set a piece.
• 1:59:04
  Speaker 2: Yeah, he loves it. He can't tell a lie, this guy, man.
• 1:59:06
  Speaker 2: He loves it.
• 1:59:13
  Speaker 4: Now I'm just floating on the breeze And I feel
• 1:59:16
  Speaker 4: I'm falling like these leaves.
• 1:59:19
  Speaker 3: I must be I'll share this piece of mind I
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 3: found I
• 1:59:22
  Speaker 2: Can feel it in my bones