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Practicing Mindful Parenting: Strengthening Bonds for Life · RiseUp - Live Joy Your Way

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Today's episode is produced by my friends at Walk West.
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  SPEAKER_00: If you're looking to grow your brand and generate leads through podcast or video production, head over to walkwest.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: Okay, let's start the show.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: From emotional intelligence through cognitive distortions, certified life and wellness coach Comedy Wood is on a mission to help people see the magnificence of their own unique human spirit.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_01: Through these small bites of self-visualization and self-confidence, you can have healthy relationships, success in business and career, and live the life you want to live.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_01: Rise up, live joy your way.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: Hi there, welcome to another episode of Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Whether it's morning, afternoon, or evening, thank you for taking some time out of your day to just spend with me.
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  SPEAKER_00: And today I want to talk a little bit about parenting.
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  SPEAKER_00: As many of you know, if you've been following me, you know that I am a mom to five.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and like every other parent out there, I freely admit that I am totally winging it.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: However, I do want to talk about just ways that we can build connection with our kids.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: And the more that we can be more um mindful and more conscious and bring that into our parenting, it does allow for deeper connections with our kids.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: And so today I just want to offer up um the five A's of parenting that I've been trained on and exposed to, especially as a parent coach, because that is definitely something that I work with individuals on, is you know, creating space as a parent, how do we create the nurturing connection?
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: And if we look at the five A's, they're a great way to just have an idea of taking, you know, these are the five ways I can create that nurturing connection, and then looking at ways that the steps I can take in order to live into that.
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  SPEAKER_00: So the first A that we would that we will talk about is attention.
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  SPEAKER_00: You know, oftentimes in our life, we are so busy.
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  SPEAKER_00: We are busy in the the constant day-to-day, this, you know, moving from thing to thing that needs to get done.
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  SPEAKER_00: I completely admit that I definitely get caught up in the busyness of life, but especially as a parent, and as your kids get older and they get more involved in things, those obligations just they build upon each other.
• 2:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, so when they're young, it might be play dates, but then then they're in school.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: Now you've got you've got social obligations, you've got academic obligations, and then you still have your own family obligations.
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so you're moving from thing to thing.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: And then if you're a working parent, you know, outside of the home, you've also got to add that into your everyday.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you happen to be a work from home parent or, you know, somebody who manages the household, that's work too.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: And there's so many things that need to get done in managing a household.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: And so before you know it, we're so spent and scheduled for all these things that our kids don't really get full-on attention.
• 3:02
  SPEAKER_00: They get leftover attention.
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  SPEAKER_00: And also, you know, just with technology the way it is, and it's it's accessible at our fingertips, it could even be that you think that you're spending time and you're present with your kids, but actually you're kind of also got one eye on you know your phone for like checking your email, or maybe somebody texted you, and so you're you're responding to a text message, but you're sort of talking to your child at the same time.
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  SPEAKER_00: So, one of the ways that we really can become more conscious is just paying attention to attention.
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  SPEAKER_00: Attention means being fully focused and engaged with your child as you are in communication with them.
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  SPEAKER_00: So whether your child is five years old, 15 years old, or in their 20s, they do crave your presence.
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  SPEAKER_00: I know this full-fledged, like I know my adult children will call me and they don't want me scrolling on my phone as we're having a conversation.
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  SPEAKER_00: They crave the ability to have that connection and that real presence with me on the phone.
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  SPEAKER_00: And that's what your children want too.
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  SPEAKER_00: They want that attention.
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  SPEAKER_00: The other thing, the other A that I wanted to bring up was acceptance, you know.
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  SPEAKER_00: As human beings, we want to belong.
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  SPEAKER_00: We want to know that we have found our tribe and and and our family is our natural given child, right?
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: So it makes total sense that our children would absolutely want to feel accepted and just really loved and cherished by their parents.
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  SPEAKER_00: And while every child is different, I have five kids.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Each one of my kids is different.
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  SPEAKER_00: The acceptance comes from saying, I accept that child exactly as they are with their strengths, their quirks, and even their challenges.
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  SPEAKER_00: It is really truly embracing who they are.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not saying I accept all of their behaviors, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
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  SPEAKER_00: As parents, we're gonna, you know, be able to communicate what is okay and what's not okay.
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  SPEAKER_00: But as a person, right, as a being, they need to feel secure in the knowledge that they don't have to change or be someone different or earn our love and approval.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not transactional.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not if you do this, then I'll accept you, or if you do this, then I'll love you.
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  SPEAKER_00: They need to really feel that as a being, they are enough in your eyes and you accept them.
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  SPEAKER_00: The third A that I just want to bring up is appreciation.
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  SPEAKER_00: As human beings, we all want to be acknowledged.
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  SPEAKER_00: We all want to be noticed for our contributions.
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  SPEAKER_00: Um, even in the work that I do with people in the workforce, burnout is a huge topic that I talk about.
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  SPEAKER_00: And many times burnout comes from a lack of acknowledgement, a lack of appreciation.
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  SPEAKER_00: And I often talk about the fact that it's not just in dollars and cents, it's actually just acknowledging that that person is there and their contributions are meaningful.
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  SPEAKER_00: So as parents, we can definitely get caught up in, you know, the discipline or the correcting and the, you know, we have to do it this way.
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  SPEAKER_00: We get caught up in the things that need to be done on a daily basis, and we forget that it's important to show just our appreciation for the person in front of us, for that child in front of us.
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  SPEAKER_00: It's not just because we're going to be boosting their self-esteem, but we're also reinforcing that sense of belonging and that sense of significance.
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  SPEAKER_00: Because at the end of the day, all of us we want to belong and we also want to know we matter.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: And so, as parents, if we can give that gift to our kids and we can, we can allow them to recognize how much they matter through just simple appreciation, uh, it will go it'll it'll be exponentially pay off, right?
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_00: That return on investment is exponential.
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  SPEAKER_00: The fourth A is for affection.
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  SPEAKER_00: And it may seem obvious that you know our kids want to feel loved, whether it, you know, be it be via hugs from physical attention or the words of affirmation and verbal expressions, but ultimately it is letting them know that they are loved and that reassurance absolutely allows them to recognize how important they are.
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  SPEAKER_00: So going back to that, they matter.
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  SPEAKER_00: And so whether it be a physical touch, giving them a hug, giving them a high five, or saying I love you, or I'm I'm so glad, you know, that to have you in my life, those are ways that we can show that affection.
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  SPEAKER_00: And then the fifth day that I want to mention is just being available, right?
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  SPEAKER_00: Again, you know, we talked about attention, but also being available.
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  SPEAKER_00: And, you know, as a parent, this can be a tough one because sometimes our kids need us at need or want us to be available at a time that may be quite kind of inconvenient.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: Teenagers are very prone to suddenly wanting to share lots of deep things, you know, as you're probably putting your head down to sleep at night.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: And it's letting them know that um they can feel secure that you are there and you are available when they are wanting to share.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Now, I'm not saying that you have to drop everything in.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: If you're in the middle of something or you really are going to sleep and you don't have the capability or capacity to be cognizant, I mean, like, if we go back to the first A and we want to give them attention, if you're half asleep or we're not really there with them, what we actually can say in that moment is, hey, I'm really way exhausted, I won't be able to give you my full attention, but I absolutely will make time and then give them a time that you'll be available.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: But what we're doing there is we're also building this sense of secure attachment that when they need something, they know that you are available for them and that you want to be there for them.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: If you'd like to chat with me more about parenting or just how to maybe work through some of the trials and tribulations that come along with parenting, by all means feel free to book a time to chat with me at any time at coachwithcomedy.com.
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  SPEAKER_00: And until next time, stay well.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to Rise Up, Live Joy Your Way.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: For more information, book a chat with comedy at www.chatwithcomedy.com or visit her website at www.comedywood.com.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_01: You can also find comedy on Facebook or Instagram.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_01: Username It's Authentic Me.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening.