Latest / I Hate Talking / Expect the Unexpected

Transcript

Expect the Unexpected · I Hate Talking

• 0:29
  I Hate Talking: Well, we are here yet again with another episode of I Hate Talking, and this is episode 13.
• 0:38
  I Hate Talking: Lucky 13.
• 0:40
  I Hate Talking: And we actually did offline discuss whether we would include the numeral 13 in our list of episodes because of that very reason, whether many people consider it to be actually unlucky, but we are here with episode 13.
• 0:59
  I Hate Talking: Michael Scott, I'm not superstitious, but I'm a little stitious.
• 1:04
  I Hate Talking: Indeed.
• 1:06
  I Hate Talking: And I think based on the things that we discussed just the very last episode with specificity, that uh it would come to no surprise to many people that know me personally that uh I would be quite uh taken aback if I was to skip a number in sequence.
• 1:26
  I Hate Talking: Definitely.
• 1:28
  I Hate Talking: Have you experienced times in podcasts or books and stuff for that?
• 1:34
  I Hate Talking: I skipped and it makes you do a double take?
• 1:37
  I Hate Talking: No, I don't think so.
• 1:38
  I Hate Talking: I think uh the books or podcasts that I've read, I'm either not uh paying attention that closely on something of that nature or Just haven't seen that.
• 1:51
  I Hate Talking: I have experienced personally the lack of the digit 13 in elevators because they don't have that floor in buildings, uh, because of the, the unlucky nature within certain cultures of the number 13.
• 2:07
  I Hate Talking: Uh, there's also, I think a few cultures that consider the number 9 unlucky and therefore they would exclude that as well.
• 2:14
  I Hate Talking: So, we are nonetheless in episode 13 and we're gonna be talking about some phrases today as our word or phrase of the episode.
• 2:27
  I Hate Talking: And this is gonna be in the vein of some colloquialisms that are often used incorrectly.
• 2:36
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so for those that don't know, a colloquialism is a familiar expression.
• 2:42
  I Hate Talking: That's used informally, so like an informal speech, it may be something that is not necessarily literally taken to be part of what a person is describing.
• 2:54
  I Hate Talking: Uh, and it also may be in some terms considered slang.
• 2:58
  I Hate Talking: So some popular examples would be saying you're nuts or don't chicken out, or I wasn't born yesterday.
• 3:07
  I Hate Talking: Those things are not literally true and you're going to be typically a native speaker of the language in order to be able to understand these things.
• 3:18
  I Hate Talking: So there's one that we want to nip in the bud.
• 3:24
  I Hate Talking: At the very start.
• 3:26
  I Hate Talking: And that is the phrase, nip it in the bud.
• 3:30
  I Hate Talking: I, was it yesterday, maybe 2 days ago, I asked you what the actual phrase was, because I saw.
• 3:39
  I Hate Talking: On social media, somebody kind of mocking their wife, but also like in a nice way, not trying to humiliate her.
• 3:50
  I Hate Talking: But apparently she thought it was nip it in the butt.
• 3:54
  I Hate Talking: And I would have paid money that that was the phrase.
• 3:58
  I Hate Talking: And I asked you, um, before I shared any of that, I was like, what's that phrase nip it in the and you said, bud, oh, OK, that's it.
• 4:08
  I Hate Talking: Right, and I've actually done a little bit of research to try to figure out where the phrase nip it in the butt comes from, and I cannot find it, uh, because I actually have heard that once before.
• 4:23
  I Hate Talking: Um, no, it was, uh, it was many, many years ago, but I could not find where this was coming from where people are using it incorrectly because the correct phrase is nip it in the bud.
• 4:37
  I Hate Talking: Because you're talking about something that would be growing or you know, a flower or something in your garden that before it gets too large that you want to nip it before it grows or gains momentum, so you nip it in the bud, and that is the proper phrase for that particular colloquialism.
• 4:58
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, I mean, that makes sense.
• 5:00
  I Hate Talking: We used to have a lot of roses, um, we used to have a rose garden at our old house and every year, We would have to prune them and yes, you nip it in the bud.
• 5:13
  I Hate Talking: Which makes sense, but I literally would have put money down on nip it in the butt.
• 5:19
  I Hate Talking: Indeed.
• 5:21
  I Hate Talking: So the other one that uh we will be using in this episode is Tempering your expectations.
• 5:31
  I Hate Talking: So we may not really have a very robust outline for this episode, so maybe our listeners must temper their expectations on how good this episode is going to be, but one of the often used incorrect words when using that phrase is hamper your expectations.
• 5:52
  I Hate Talking: I'm trying to think of how I say it.
• 5:54
  I Hate Talking: Now that I'm hearing you say it, I don't know which one I would say, hamper, hamper.
• 6:01
  I Hate Talking: Go ahead and explain cause I both sound, I would not blink an eye at either of those.
• 6:07
  I Hate Talking: And they do sound very similar, uh, and that may also be.
• 6:12
  I Hate Talking: Perhaps part of why people are using these phrases incorrectly is maybe they hear someone use it correctly and they either don't know the word that is being used, bud or temper, and are therefore replacing it with the more common phrase that they know of because they're, they're more familiar with the word butt or tamper.
• 6:36
  I Hate Talking: Or perhaps uh that they are just mishearing it and they know both words but and but, but when people are speaking quickly or not clearly that maybe they're hearing the wrong word and those could be some reasons that we even have words come to fruition as the course of language evolves.
• 6:58
  I Hate Talking: But in this particular case, Temper and tamper, two words, very similar in spelling and pronunciation, but very different definitions.
• 7:08
  I Hate Talking: So we'll start with the wrong one, which is tamper, and that is meaning to meddle with or interfere or in some way alter.
• 7:19
  I Hate Talking: It's a, usually uses a verb to tamper with something, you're going to change it without authorization and it's going to uh in most Sense be something that is going to make that thing that you are tampering with deficient.
• 7:36
  I Hate Talking: So you may, for example, tamper with someone's brakes in their car and that would be a bad thing, but that is what the word tamper typically means.
• 7:47
  I Hate Talking: Mhm.
• 7:49
  I Hate Talking: That makes sense, but I also like what you're saying.
• 7:52
  I Hate Talking: Of maybe our brain are instantly going to the word tamper instead of temper.
• 7:58
  I Hate Talking: Cause we use that phrase more often.
• 8:01
  I Hate Talking: But once you start thinking about what it actually means, that doesn't make sense.
• 8:05
  I Hate Talking: Exactly.
• 8:07
  I Hate Talking: So most people when they hear the word temper are probably thinking of the noun with someone's temper as in temperament, whether they get angry easily or they're more happy go lucky.
• 8:22
  I Hate Talking: But as a verb, temper means to subject something to reducing the intensity.
• 8:30
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so it could be used in metallurgy with, uh, basically cooling metal and then reheating it and cooling it in order to strengthen it.
• 8:40
  I Hate Talking: That is called tempering of metal.
• 8:43
  I Hate Talking: It also could mean, like I said, to reduce the intensity.
• 8:46
  I Hate Talking: It can also mean to tune a musical instrument, which is an interesting use of the word.
• 8:52
  I Hate Talking: And then it also, and I think we're using it in this particular phrase, temper your expectations is metaphorically to mean to soften the influence or something, and it basically means that we need to have a reasonable expectation when we temper our expectation.
• 9:11
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, that makes sense when you're thinking about temper, like temper, sure.
• 9:16
  I Hate Talking: And how it can go hot or cold, tempering your expectations.
• 9:23
  I Hate Talking: Are your expectations really high and hot?
• 9:26
  I Hate Talking: Or were they cool and low?
• 9:28
  I Hate Talking: Now here's the crazy thing about the etymology of these words is that temper, and the one that we are using in the phrase of the episode, temper your expectations came from the Latin word temperare, which means to restrain or moderate.
• 9:48
  I Hate Talking: So that is in line for the most part with how it is used in the modern context with either reducing the intensity.
• 9:56
  I Hate Talking: Or uh tuning something to make it in line with the expectation.
• 10:03
  I Hate Talking: But the word tamper actually comes from the word temper.
• 10:10
  I Hate Talking: And this happened in around the 14th or 15th century in the same language within Latin and has come to since mean.
• 10:20
  I Hate Talking: That it is something that interferes with something to cause damage or make unauthorized alterations or to exert a secret or corrupt influence upon someone or something, but it came specifically from the word temper and turned into tamper.
• 10:39
  I Hate Talking: So there may have been some Latin, and I think this eventually came into the English lexicon as well, that.
• 10:46
  I Hate Talking: misheard this word and somehow came to use it in a completely new definition, and that came to be, we don't really know other than that this is around the actually mid 16th century here, it says that this came to be a split in the word and definition.
• 11:08
  I Hate Talking: So, hundreds of years later, we may be using this phrase.
• 11:14
  I Hate Talking: Because somebody misspoke initially.
• 11:17
  I Hate Talking: Indeed.
• 11:18
  I Hate Talking: OK, can we also talk about the phrase that always bothers me when people say I couldn't care less.
• 11:26
  I Hate Talking: Every time they say that in my brain, I'm thinking, what, you couldn't care less, but that means you do care then, right?
• 11:34
  I Hate Talking: So the phrase is I could.
• 11:37
  I Hate Talking: Careless.
• 11:39
  I Hate Talking: Have you ever heard that phrase though?
• 11:41
  I Hate Talking: I could care less.
• 11:42
  I Hate Talking: So I think the incorrect phrase that is used is I could care less because that means that When you're talking about something that you don't care about at all, that you actually could care less about it, so that you do actually care about it a little bit.
• 12:01
  I Hate Talking: So the phrase to use it properly is, I couldn't care less.
• 12:08
  I Hate Talking: And to not use the contraction there.
• 12:11
  I Hate Talking: To use it properly would be, I could not care less because you will have a level of caring and that level of caring is described by whether you could care more or careless and when you're saying this phrase, I could not care less, that means that it is at the already the minimum bound of caring in terms of this thing that you're talking about.
• 12:36
  I Hate Talking: Hm, OK, so is it where the article and the phrases put then?
• 12:44
  I Hate Talking: Because I could not care less, means you can't physically care less.
• 12:50
  I Hate Talking: I couldn't care less.
• 12:52
  I Hate Talking: Wait, now I'm confused.
• 12:54
  I Hate Talking: We'll just cut this out, don't worry about it.
• 12:56
  I Hate Talking: You know what I'm saying?
• 12:59
  I Hate Talking: What am I saying?
• 13:00
  I Hate Talking: So perhaps part of the confusion on this particular phrase is because a contraction is used where you are combining the words could and not into couldn't.
• 13:12
  I Hate Talking: And that may be misheard or misinterpreted by the hearer as could, because they are not hearing the nint of the couldn't.
• 13:24
  I Hate Talking: So perhaps another learning from this episode and this podcast series is when we want to be explicitly clear, we should not use contractions.
• 13:35
  I Hate Talking: Noted So the phrase I could care less is the incorrect phrase and the correct phrase is I could not care less or when using the contraction, I couldn't care less.
• 13:53
  I Hate Talking: I'm confused at what I'm saying now.
• 13:57
  I Hate Talking: And there may be those listeners that are even wondering what contractions are, and we're talking about many different parts of speech, I guess, this episode, and that is where you take two words and shorten it and combine it into one word.
• 14:12
  I Hate Talking: So other examples are can't, where that would be the contraction of the two words can and don't.
• 14:21
  I Hate Talking: Where that is the contraction of do not and I've, where that is a contraction of I have, uh, and there's many, many more, but those are some common ones that uh I think are used in everyday speech and perhaps couldn't is not used that frequently and therefore is maybe.
• 14:43
  I Hate Talking: apt for misinterpretation or mishearing.
• 14:47
  I Hate Talking: Is it people misspeaking and they're saying I could care less.
• 14:52
  I Hate Talking: That's what they're saying, right?
• 14:53
  I Hate Talking: And then you're like, wait.
• 14:54
  I Hate Talking: I mean less that you could care.
• 14:57
  I Hate Talking: So I guess it is possible that someone is not.
• 15:01
  I Hate Talking: Using the phrase improperly.
• 15:03
  I Hate Talking: But they are using the phrase properly and actually have a different meaning of what they would normally utilize this colloquialism for, is that they actually do care about it and Therefore, if they said I could care less and actually meant that those specific words were what they were really trying to convey is that they do care about the subject that they're talking about.
• 15:32
  I Hate Talking: OK, fair enough.
• 15:34
  I Hate Talking: Well, there you have it.
• 15:36
  I Hate Talking: We've spent nearly half the episode talking about our phrases of the episode.
• 15:43
  I Hate Talking: We're not gonna cut all that.
• 15:44
  I Hate Talking: And we may cut some of it, we may nip it in the bud or we may leave it.
• 15:53
  I Hate Talking: Who knows?
• 15:54
  I Hate Talking: Uh, I think that our listeners will just have to temper their expectations.
• 15:59
  I Hate Talking: Nice.
• 15:59
  I Hate Talking: All right, so on to our actual content for this episode.
• 16:06
  I Hate Talking: So go ahead and tell us what we will be talking about as we continue on, on this journey beyond our phrases of the episode.
• 16:15
  I Hate Talking: OK, so we just got back from vacation.
• 16:20
  I Hate Talking: We spent um a week down in Florida, had a wonderful time.
• 16:24
  I Hate Talking: Unfortunately, not for our family, but for other families, there was a tragedy that happened.
• 16:32
  I Hate Talking: If y'all are um following the news, um it's not gonna be super recent news, but we were the day we were leaving.
• 16:41
  I Hate Talking: We packed up from where we were staying, and me and the kids hit the pool at the hotel we were at, but you love the beach, and so you went into the ocean.
• 16:54
  I Hate Talking: I did not want the kids in the ocean.
• 16:56
  I Hate Talking: I didn't want them sandy on the drive home.
• 16:58
  I Hate Talking: So we stayed at the pool, and you went to the ocean.
• 17:02
  I Hate Talking: And unfortunately, little known to us that moments, pretty much after you got out of the water, there was a shark attack a few miles down the road from us.
• 17:16
  I Hate Talking: I think what we're talking about first.
• 17:19
  I Hate Talking: There was that shark attack.
• 17:22
  I Hate Talking: It was a lady, um, to give her respect.
• 17:24
  I Hate Talking: It was she the.
• 17:26
  I Hate Talking: is OK, but she definitely lost some limbs and her life is forever changed.
• 17:32
  I Hate Talking: She was a wife and a mom.
• 17:34
  I Hate Talking: Her family was there with her on the beach.
• 17:36
  I Hate Talking: And then, um, a little over 1 hour after that, 2 teenage girls got attacked.
• 17:42
  I Hate Talking: One is still in the hospital.
• 17:44
  I Hate Talking: And so again, just giving them the respect and their families that their lives are forever changed by this situation.
• 17:51
  I Hate Talking: So talking about, it's a little heavier than um we were just talking about, but Just saying, yeah, that things happen and we don't expect it, and you could have very well been those people that were injured.
• 18:08
  I Hate Talking: That while we were, um, but we were getting out of the pool, we were drying off, you had gotten out of the water already.
• 18:16
  I Hate Talking: And joined us in the pool.
• 18:19
  I Hate Talking: When this tragedy happened.
• 18:22
  I Hate Talking: Indeed, that is true and certainly that happening on that particular day was unexpected, but it could have happened any day and we were all in the water many days previous to that and we uh even saw some uh schools of fish going crazy and we had attributed that to dolphins within the water because there had been some earlier dolphin sightings.
• 18:51
  I Hate Talking: Uh, within the area and there were even some boat tours that were out further in the water that were, uh, being able to observe the dolphins.
• 19:03
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so we attributed those schools of fish going crazy to dolphins hunting for fish, uh, but it may very well have been, in fact, a shark.
• 19:13
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, and the day prior, we were in the ocean and um a steamray passed us.
• 19:20
  I Hate Talking: And one of our kids, it was so close, it was a little, he was a little farther out than I was and um the stingray was on his other side, he could have reached out and touched it if He was aware and wanting to.
• 19:35
  I Hate Talking: Um, he realized what was happening.
• 19:38
  I Hate Talking: He got out quickly.
• 19:39
  I Hate Talking: So when I've seen, yeah, these pools of fish.
• 19:42
  I Hate Talking: Um, we had seen dolphins jumping.
• 19:45
  I Hate Talking: We saw that Stingray, it wasn't a big deal.
• 19:49
  I Hate Talking: So, um, all this week I keep just thinking about how different These families' lives are that these three individuals um were Lost limbs and they're still in the hospital.
• 20:05
  I Hate Talking: And how different had you been the individual that was attacked.
• 20:11
  I Hate Talking: In my head, I keep playing like, I would call your boss, I would call these people and we'd have to get a hotel room cause we would still be down there right now.
• 20:21
  I Hate Talking: And just that um carefree, how wonderful the beach was.
• 20:27
  I Hate Talking: It was so warm and it was so enjoyable.
• 20:29
  I Hate Talking: But in just a few moments, these individuals' lives are changed forever.
• 20:35
  I Hate Talking: Indeed, and I think that they were not expecting this to happen, uh, and even for those that are unfamiliar with sort of how the beach works within that area of the ocean is that there will be a very slight drop off and then a first sandbar and then it will drop off more significantly uh down maybe to, you know, 10 or 12 ft depending on the tide.
• 21:04
  I Hate Talking: And then there will be a second sandbar where you can typically touch and during low tide will be actually even knee-deep and uh that is typically how the ocean will work and how you'd be able to sort of swim within that area.
• 21:22
  I Hate Talking: So most of these uh shark sightings that happen that same day or the following days because there have been just many, many sharks observed since this time.
• 21:33
  I Hate Talking: Uh, are actually.
• 21:35
  I Hate Talking: Within the second sandbar and are in the cases of the attack on the middle-aged woman happened right outside the 1st sandbar and then the attack on the two teenage girls occurred right at the first sandbar or even within the first sandbar, so very, very close to shore.
• 21:58
  I Hate Talking: Uh, so there were instances where myself and our oldest were actually swimming out to the second sandbar, uh, quite.
• 22:07
  I Hate Talking: Distant from the shore, uh, whereas these attacks were happening within the very shallows, uh, where typically people are going to be swimming within that first sandbar area.
• 22:19
  I Hate Talking: Yeah, and you just think.
• 22:21
  I Hate Talking: It, um, it's the ocean.
• 22:24
  I Hate Talking: This is where sharks live and other sea animals like sea rays and dolphins.
• 22:31
  I Hate Talking: This is their home, and I understand that.
• 22:34
  I Hate Talking: But we definitely have a false sense of safety.
• 22:39
  I Hate Talking: When I'm thinking, you guys, I felt like you guys were not in danger, but more in danger than me and the little kids, closer to the shore.
• 22:49
  I Hate Talking: But that's a can be a false sense of security, knowing that they can come up to that close.
• 22:59
  I Hate Talking: And perhaps we were even in the safer spot because the sharks were hunting the fish in the shallows and we were actually safer further away from shore.
• 23:08
  I Hate Talking: That's true.
• 23:09
  I Hate Talking: Well, you did try to even explain not um shark related, but prior one of our kids was refusing to go that far, but he was right at the breakers, and so the waves kept breaking right on him.
• 23:24
  I Hate Talking: And you were trying to convince him if he went out slightly farther, he'd actually have an easier time.
• 23:31
  I Hate Talking: And um he didn't believe you and eventually just came in to closer to shore.
• 23:39
  I Hate Talking: But it reminds me of that when you're saying like.
• 23:42
  I Hate Talking: In his head, the farther you go out, the more danger there is, but sometimes it actually is safer.
• 23:48
  I Hate Talking: Indeed, and not only do we have to expect the unexpected and temper our expectations, we also must have realistic expectations on risk because although this is a tragedy and these people's lives are changed forever.
• 24:09
  I Hate Talking: It is the year 2024 and there has not been a fatality related to a shark attack in the state of Florida since 2005 and People are more often killed by rip currents than sharks every single summer within this area because that is the actual danger is dangerous currents, rip currents being swept out to sea and drowning rather than being attacked by a shark.
• 24:44
  I Hate Talking: Right, yeah, I'm sure that more people is, do you know the stat on how many people pass away in a pool?
• 24:51
  I Hate Talking: And the ocean, I assume quite a bit more every year, right?
• 24:56
  I Hate Talking: I'd assume so.
• 24:57
  I Hate Talking: I'd have to do a little bit of research to see what that is based on the weighted average because typically you're gonna have more people in a pool on a regular basis than probably visit the ocean because for our family in particular, right, we're gonna be in the pool 50 to 60 days out of the year, but only in the ocean 4 or 5.
• 25:21
  I Hate Talking: So that is also gonna have play a part in the statistics, but Yes, I certainly think that not only is the frequency of time spent within these particular locales of a pool versus the ocean, is that the pool is more normal and therefore not regarded as a particular danger.
• 25:43
  I Hate Talking: Right?
• 25:43
  I Hate Talking: He's a stat.
• 25:44
  I Hate Talking: It reminds me that it says um more people die from toasters every year and shark attacks.
• 25:52
  I Hate Talking: That sounds insane, but it's more people use a toaster daily.
• 25:56
  I Hate Talking: You're not in the ocean.
• 25:59
  I Hate Talking: The majority of society is not in the ocean daily.
• 26:02
  I Hate Talking: Indeed, so there is some sort of frequency bias that must be considered that not only is the danger of these particular activities or devices being considered, but also the frequency at which you use them.
• 26:18
  I Hate Talking: Mhm.
• 26:20
  I Hate Talking: Again, I mean just.
• 26:22
  I Hate Talking: Going back to just giving these three ladies, the 2 teens and the woman, um, a moment just uh That them and their families, their lives are changed forever.
• 26:37
  I Hate Talking: Also, at that point, I'm so thankful that we were safe and that you were safe.
• 26:42
  I Hate Talking: Um, I will be struggling next year if and when we go to the ocean.
• 26:48
  I Hate Talking: Uh, not been thinking about that, and the reality is the chances of that happening are so low.
• 26:56
  I Hate Talking: But the fact that it was so close to us while we were there, it is hard to not Be afraid of that.
• 27:05
  I Hate Talking: Indeed, and that I think does play a part in the human psyche that we've been talking about over the course of many episodes because I particularly don't think that it is necessarily a high degree of danger.
• 27:20
  I Hate Talking: Yes, there are things in the ocean that can hurt you.
• 27:24
  I Hate Talking: But as we've just said, some of those things are going to be more innocuous, like just the flow of water being more dangerous than these animals that live within their own habitat.
• 27:38
  I Hate Talking: And just as to put it in a different perspective, we drove quite a distance to be able to to get there.
• 27:46
  I Hate Talking: How many near misses on accidents?
• 27:50
  I Hate Talking: Just in those two different drives that we took, uh, were we involved in.
• 27:56
  I Hate Talking: Right on the way down there, um, we were in two back to back by the same driver, um, extremely close accidents, and there were others, but I was driving up both of those, and I asked you, cause you were watching.
• 28:13
  I Hate Talking: I was like, what, could I have done anything different?
• 28:16
  I Hate Talking: It was the same driver behind us both times.
• 28:18
  I Hate Talking: And I was um validated, you validated me and say no, like you did the right thing both times.
• 28:26
  I Hate Talking: It's that individual, but uh One of those times, I thought for sure we were in an accident, but there's nowhere else I could go.
• 28:36
  I Hate Talking: I couldn't veer off, and we were moments away from, like, inches from an accident.
• 28:42
  I Hate Talking: Indeed, and I think the same thing goes for those things that people consider as potential health pitfalls.
• 28:51
  I Hate Talking: Uh, there is a lot of concern about cancer or uh injuries or things of that nature, but when you get down to it, heart disease and heart issues.
• 29:05
  I Hate Talking: Typically because of lack of activity or poor diet or combination thereof is the greatest killer from a health perspective.
• 29:15
  I Hate Talking: So we've talked about a number of things and hopefully some of these things have brought insight to our listeners in terms of not only expecting the unexpected but also tempering your expectations and Making sure that you have realistic expectations and realistic understandings of risk and success for these things that you partake in day to day.
• 29:43
  I Hate Talking: So, from your friends at IHTalking, until next time, remember, it is only through talking that we begin the journey to understanding.