Latest / Your Thoughts Your Reality / Bridging Heritage and Healing: Evely Raudmets on Empowering Veterans Through Transformation and Art
Transcript
- 0:19Speaker 1: Thank you.
- 0:20Speaker 1: Training presentations dedicated to guiding military veterans as they navigate the intricate pathways of post-deployment life.
- 0:27Speaker 1: Join him as we delve into the profound realm of neuro-encoding science, empowering these brave individuals to conquer universal battles procrastination, self-doubt, fear and more.
- 0:38Speaker 1: Together, let's uncover the strength within you to re-engage with families and society, forging a new path forward.
- 0:50Michael Cole: Hello, hello, hello everyone.
- 0:52Michael Cole: Today we have a very special guest.
- 0:55Michael Cole: We have Evely Raudmets.
- 0:56Michael Cole: .
- 0:56Michael Cole: She is a tech leader, teaches or guides I should say tech leaders to self-mastery leader, teaches or guides, I should say tech leaders to self-mastery.
- 1:07Michael Cole: She's a peak performance specialist, elite neuro-encoding coach and speaker, and our guest today.
- 1:11Michael Cole: So I'm super happy to be on, Evely, welcome.
- 1:17Evely Raudmets: Hello Michael, thank you for having me on here.
- 1:19Evely Raudmets: Thank you for inviting me, and you pronounce my name really good.
- 1:23Michael Cole: Yes.
- 1:24Michael Cole: So let's just tell the story, let's get it out there so you know all of my guests.
- 1:31Michael Cole: I take it very serious that I pronounce their name as close as possible or correctly.
- 1:35Michael Cole: So Evely's has been more of a challenge, which is awesome, because I literally was conditioning myself today to just say it and just celebrate, and it all worked out well.
- 1:49Michael Cole: Thank you, yeah, it was cool.
- 1:51Michael Cole: So, Evely, I just want to announce right now to everybody and our listening audience and people who are going to listen soon we are international.
- 2:01Michael Cole: Now Evely is from Estonia and you know, let's celebrate that, yeah, so thank you for bringing that to our world.
- 2:09Michael Cole: So, Evely, tell us a little bit about yourself.
- 2:13Michael Cole: I mean, I know you, but tell us you know.
- 2:16Michael Cole: Our guests and people listening later know more about you.
- 2:21Evely Raudmets: So, yeah, as you said, I am a coach and I do focus on tech leaders, I think mostly because by formal education, I'm a mechanical engineer and tech is my world.
- 2:33Evely Raudmets: So from there as I moved on to understanding how humans work and how to help and guide humans, that's my true calling.
- 2:40Evely Raudmets: Well then I put the two worlds together tech and humans and leadership.
- 2:45Evely Raudmets: And here here I am, a coach for tech leaders.
- 2:48Evely Raudmets: Fantastic and uh for this show.
- 2:53Evely Raudmets: I am not a veteran, however.
- 2:57Evely Raudmets: My family, many of my family members are, and my dad and my grandfather, so I've learned a lot from them.
- 3:06Evely Raudmets: And here I am, yeah.
- 3:08Michael Cole: So I know again I'm going to tell another little story, but a couple of weeks ago we were on a training with someone in the Neuroencoding Institute and Evely was saying, yeah, she's gathering stories and talking to her family, so I was really excited that well, you put the effort into it, obviously, which is awesome.
- 3:25Michael Cole: I wouldn't expect anything less from you, but just that you know you were excited about being on here and you know creating a value, giving value, so we appreciate it.
- 3:35Evely Raudmets: You don't even know what a beautiful gift you gave me, because I would not have thought about talking to my father like that and gathering those stories.
- 3:47Evely Raudmets: So I'm not going to cry, but like that brought us closer and so thank you.
- 3:53Evely Raudmets: This little nudge, it had a cascading effect.
- 3:58Michael Cole: That is so fantastic.
- 3:59Michael Cole: I literally got chills, lady.
- 4:01Michael Cole: Thank you, yeah, that's fantastic.
- 4:05Michael Cole: It's amazing how little things that come into our lives, open up these other doors and create gifts, so I'm happy it worked out for both of us with it.
- 4:26Michael Cole: If you're good with it, let's talk about the military family.
- 4:29Michael Cole: I know you've got some crazy stories and some interesting stories already that we heard off camera, so let's share, if you will.
- 4:33Michael Cole: So your father was in the army, I believe.
- 4:37Evely Raudmets: Yeah he was in the army, but my grandfather was in World War II.
- 4:41Michael Cole: Wow, wow.
- 4:43Michael Cole: So feel free just to share a story, let's go.
- 4:48Evely Raudmets: Yes, Dive in.
- 4:49Evely Raudmets: So I have two stories.
- 4:51Evely Raudmets: One is a bit of a humorous one and another one is a serious one.
- 4:57Michael Cole: So my dad.
- 4:59Michael Cole: We dont do funny here, Evely.
- 5:01Evely Raudmets: I know I'm going to try to keep it really serious.
- 5:04Evely Raudmets: You know me.
- 5:05Evely Raudmets: We don't, dolyn.
- 5:05Michael Cole: I know I'm going to try to keep it really serious.
- 5:06Michael Cole: You know me, we don't do jokes, it just doesn't happen.
- 5:09Evely Raudmets: No, no, no, no, it's serious business, I know.
- 5:12Evely Raudmets: So.
- 5:15Evely Raudmets: My grandfather was really keen on getting into the army when he was, I think, maybe 16 or 17 already, and he did.
- 5:23Evely Raudmets: He managed to wiggle his way there somehow and got to join the top generals and people who led the army when the World War broke out, right.
- 5:34Evely Raudmets: So he, when basically here in Estonia the German army and the Russian army met, oh, head on, and at first everyone was on the German side here because Russia is our neighbor.
- 5:53Evely Raudmets: And when they came in my grandfather it was like Russian news, it just happened, like it usually just happens.
- 6:01Evely Raudmets: You never know beforehand, usually unless you're at the top.
- 6:05Evely Raudmets: But so, uh, he got the news and when the bombing started and, like he, where he was in the artillery where all the like explosives were right when they started, so he was hiding in that room and everything was fire, gunfire, everything.
- 6:23Evely Raudmets: He was sitting with bombs and everything and everything was fire gunfire everything.
- 6:26Michael Cole: He was sitting with bombs and everything.
- 6:27Michael Cole: Okay, I don't know, I'd want to be the one there.
- 6:28Michael Cole: I don't think I'd want to be in there.
- 6:32Evely Raudmets: But somehow he managed his way out and took this I don't know how you call it rubber boats, hopped on a river with two guys.
- 6:41Evely Raudmets: Everyone got shot.
- 6:42Evely Raudmets: Somehow he survived.
- 6:43Evely Raudmets: And so he went with two guys.
- 6:44Evely Raudmets: Everyone got shocked.
- 6:45Michael Cole: Somehow he survived, oh wow.
- 6:46Evely Raudmets: And so he went down the river and he found this German uniform, and the adventure lasted a couple of days.
- 6:58Evely Raudmets: He was really hungry, starving, cold, everything, and then he had enough.
- 7:03Evely Raudmets: He was so pissed at the situation and hungry that he marched into the German camp where all the military personnel were.
- 7:16Evely Raudmets: With the uniform yes, with the fake uniform that he found, marched in there, took a seat in the cafeteria, ate his stomach full, just looked at everyone as he was one of them.
- 7:28Evely Raudmets: I don't know how long he was able to be there or sit there.
- 7:32Evely Raudmets: That part is missing.
- 7:33Evely Raudmets: But finally someone started asking, like who are you?
- 7:37Evely Raudmets: What are you doing here?
- 7:38Evely Raudmets: And then they found out.
- 7:40Evely Raudmets: Well, maybe a few words, but like the accent and everything he tried to like talk his way.
- 7:46Evely Raudmets: He tried to like talk his way out of it or wiggle his way out of it, but he failed.
- 7:49Evely Raudmets: So they started shooting at him.
- 7:51Evely Raudmets: And the way he escaped, do you know?
- 7:54Evely Raudmets: Uh, in farmhouses, like old ones, there are these toilets that are like dry toilets with just a hole in them.
- 8:02Evely Raudmets: So he jumped into this hole, somehow managed through it and like dug his way through shit literally and escaped.
- 8:09Evely Raudmets: They didn't follow him that way.
- 8:11Evely Raudmets: No shit, no shit.
- 8:15Evely Raudmets: That was the crazy story.
- 8:21Michael Cole: Imagine the that I'm sure he discussed it Gunfire.
- 8:25Evely Raudmets: Yeah, he managed bullets.
- 8:27Michael Cole: Imagine just the adrenaline.
- 8:30Michael Cole: Everything had been going through his mind and did he go.
- 8:35Michael Cole: I kind of deserve this For going in there and taking the food and doing all this.
- 8:41Michael Cole: I mean he earned a little bit.
- 8:44Evely Raudmets: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but he managed to survive the gunfire and the shit Twice, twice.
- 8:50Evely Raudmets: Well, he didn't get lucky.
- 8:53Evely Raudmets: He didn't get lucky afterwards, because the Russians got him then and deported him to the Siberian concentration camps.
- 9:02Evely Raudmets: Wow, and they're like.
- 9:06Evely Raudmets: I'm not going to go into those brutal stories unless you want me to, but like you know, maybe a little would be okay.
- 9:15Michael Cole: We don't want to get too crazy.
- 9:16Michael Cole: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, but yeah, I mean I, I'm curious, you know what, what he shared as far as um, I mean food, or you know any, any little thing I think would be great to share.
- 9:29Evely Raudmets: Yes, yeah, we're migrated here.
- 9:32Michael Cole: Evely we're migrated here,.
- 9:33Michael Cole: We're migrated, we're not, you know Okay.
- 9:36Michael Cole: We're migrated, we're migrated.
- 9:38Evely Raudmets: Okay, so he did see pretty and normally you do see things there, right, and he shared.
- 9:51Evely Raudmets: But he met the love of his life there in the concentration camp.
- 9:53Evely Raudmets: My grandma was deported from mountains of Ukraine.
- 9:55Evely Raudmets: She did like anti-war posters and that's why she was deported to mountains of Ukraine.
- 9:58Evely Raudmets: She did like anti-war posters and that's why she was deported to the concentration camp.
- 10:01Evely Raudmets: So they met there.
- 10:03Evely Raudmets: And my dad was born there and it was rough.
- 10:08Evely Raudmets: And when you ask like because before you invited me here, you asked like were there any tips?
- 10:14Evely Raudmets: Like how do they manage afterwards?
- 10:16Evely Raudmets: Or like how did they even survive?
- 10:17Evely Raudmets: Yes, so that was like I asked and my dad shared, like they were put to work there and there was this um, bricks, they, you know they burn bricks to make them stronger.
- 10:30Evely Raudmets: So their job was to take the bricks out of the fire, you know, as they were burnt, but the gloves wore off, like in a few days, oh, I'm sure.
- 10:40Evely Raudmets: And they had to work, I don't know months, definitely, if not a year or more, and in like five or few days the gloves wore off.
- 10:49Evely Raudmets: So he had to take the bricks from the burning fire with his hands, wow, and they didn't feed them.
- 10:57Evely Raudmets: And the first checkpoint to get to the medical center was when you had no flesh on your ass, basically anymore, not fat, but you, like your butt was all bone.
- 11:10Evely Raudmets: So then they took him there and like weighed him and he weighed 38 kilograms, so I don't know, it's like 70 pounds okay, wow so and I asked a question when he was in there and he was dealing with all this stuff.
- 11:28Michael Cole: Obviously he found the love of his you know life, which is fantastic.
- 11:31Michael Cole: What, what kept him going?
- 11:34Michael Cole: What?
- 11:35Evely Raudmets: that's my story will get there.
- 11:37Michael Cole: Okay, you're reading my mind.
- 11:39Evely Raudmets: It's awesome, yeah, and that really like hit me and that was a good lesson for me.
- 11:45Evely Raudmets: Okay, I'm just going to tell.
- 11:49Evely Raudmets: So, when he stood there, the thought running through his mind was I'm going to run towards the soldiers so they would shoot me Because I can't take it anymore.
- 12:03Evely Raudmets: Like can you?
- 12:03Evely Raudmets: Like I can't even imagine.
- 12:04Evely Raudmets: Just your fingers are burned to the bone and you just keep going.
- 12:05Evely Raudmets: We're weighing like 70 pounds, right?
- 12:08Michael Cole: yeah, absolutely I can't.
- 12:09Evely Raudmets: And then, go ahead please the only thing that stopped him from running them to them, so they would shoot him and he said I'm going to survive to tell everyone what went down here.
- 12:22Evely Raudmets: Wow.
- 12:24Evely Raudmets: And when he came back, he wrote books and memoirs that were this thick a couple of them.
- 12:34Evely Raudmets: I remember him when I was a kid I was like five or six years old when I stayed with him and I saw him just behind the typewriter writing and drawing and wow that's how he survived, that was his reason, and he did research there.
- 12:51Evely Raudmets: He snuck into places he shouldn't have to get more like of the of what was really going on.
- 12:57Speaker 1: He was a little bit of a friend of the book.
- 12:59Evely Raudmets: Oh yeah, he's like, yeah Crazy, like I don't even know the word, and then he wrote about it.
- 13:09Michael Cole: So are those books.
- 13:11Michael Cole: What language are those books in?
- 13:13Michael Cole: I'd love to be able to get a hold of one if I could find one in English.
- 13:18Evely Raudmets: Not in English, they're in Estonian still and not officially published Like our family had them, some of them my dad sadly lost.
- 13:28Michael Cole: Wow.
- 13:29Evely Raudmets: It'll happen, but, like most are still there.
- 13:33Michael Cole: And yeah, but it's yeah, so you'll translate one for me, oh, sure, sure, oh, that those would be amazing to read, those would be amazing to read.
- 13:48Michael Cole: Wow, yeah, good stuff.
- 13:51Evely Raudmets: So yeah, please yeah, yeah, so the the takeaway was like when you read Viktor Frankl's.
- 13:58Evely Raudmets: That amazed me, because when you read Viktor Frankl's A Man's Search for Meaning the same point is there and it was curious like to learn that it repeats itself.
- 14:10Evely Raudmets: So beauty is to be found everywhere.
- 14:14Evely Raudmets: Right and meaning.
- 14:16Michael Cole: Yeah, and I find that with working with veterans and their families, you know the stories.
- 14:22Michael Cole: A lot of them are very similar.
- 14:23Michael Cole: Their struggles are very similar.
- 14:25Michael Cole: It's how it's generally how people deal with it.
- 14:29Michael Cole: Right, it's their thoughts or their reality.
- 14:33Speaker 1: Exactly.
- 14:34Michael Cole: Yeah, so it's really, really even back then to see the repeated history, if you will, for them.
- 14:47Michael Cole: So very cool stories, wow.
- 14:49Michael Cole: I don't even know where to go from that one.
- 14:52Evely Raudmets: So I'm just going to take you onward.
- 14:56Michael Cole: I was hoping you were going to say that, because you said you had multiple stories, so go.
- 15:00Evely Raudmets: But to build on this one, like I love like the thoughts create your reality.
- 15:05Evely Raudmets: And I have a saying we all live in separate realities that are created by the filter of our thoughts Every day.
- 15:12Evely Raudmets: And when you really get it like you, really it hits you, you can like start creating and choosing the thoughts.
- 15:18Evely Raudmets: Yeah, where focus goes right.
- 15:21Michael Cole: Absolutely.
- 15:22Evely Raudmets: So my dad was born there and when my dad was two years old, my grandma died at giving birth to the second child and they well, they took the life of the child that was born as well, because the mom died and my grandfather heard the cries but they denied it.
- 15:42Evely Raudmets: So somehow after that he was able to make it back here, but what he did is he was like, since he was like sneaky and wanted to research things, they picked it up there and he started.
- 15:56Evely Raudmets: He was able to somehow attend technical university there or a school, technical school and I saw his drawings like nowadays you have like 3d modeling and all the cat like drawings, absolutely.
- 16:09Evely Raudmets: But I saw like his drawings like you, you do the you know like a building, house stories or machine drawings, and when they, when he folded them open, they were like I don't know two foot times two foot or it's insane with pencil drawn.
- 16:28Michael Cole: Yeah, so he went to uh school in in russia then in the concentration camp.
- 16:35Evely Raudmets: Yeah, there was some school.
- 16:36Evely Raudmets: They needed personnel apparently after the brick thing, so they yeah.
- 16:42Michael Cole: Wow, I like this guy, I like that man.
- 16:48Evely Raudmets: Yeah, he was.
- 16:49Evely Raudmets: Wow, he was a character.
- 16:52Michael Cole: Yeah, I'm sure Is he still alive.
- 16:53Michael Cole: Just out of curiosity.
- 16:55Evely Raudmets: No, no, he died when I was.
- 16:57Evely Raudmets: I think I was six or seven years old.
- 16:59Michael Cole: So these stories are coming, then, from your dad.
- 17:05Evely Raudmets: Yeah, because I remember when I was a kid, my dad and grandfather used to smoke on the balcony and tell stories.
- 17:11Michael Cole: Oh wow, There'll be a fly on that wall.
- 17:14Evely Raudmets: Oh yeah, Wow.
- 17:16Michael Cole: Very, yeah, wow, very, very cool.
- 17:19Michael Cole: So before I even do, you have more stories.
- 17:25Evely Raudmets: Well, my dad had some as well.
- 17:27Evely Raudmets: Well, let's go.
- 17:28Evely Raudmets: Well, my dad is similar character.
- 17:32Evely Raudmets: The things he did, like the same way he got, like in the army.
- 17:36Evely Raudmets: He was like you had no choice.
- 17:39Evely Raudmets: He was taken to the Russian army and the things he saw and beatings and everything, and he just snuck away, snuck away, researched things like snuck to find out what was really going on.
- 17:52Evely Raudmets: And it's a similar thing.
- 17:57Evely Raudmets: Like he was like something was going on and he also took someone's clothing maybe he learned from grandfather, I don't know and marched to a meeting of something some sorts, offering a deal to draw something, some plans or something, and basically talked his way into becoming the military's artist who would draw bridges and plans and schemes, so he wouldn't have to do the things he didn't want to do.
- 18:31Michael Cole: I'm thinking movie.
- 18:31Michael Cole: I'm thinking movie.
- 18:34Evely Raudmets: I'm thinking I need to ask him more and learn.
- 18:35Evely Raudmets: Please can we just get on a Zoom call and do this?
- 18:37Michael Cole: I'm thinking movie, I'm thinking I need to ask him more and learn.
- 18:38Michael Cole: Please Can we just get on a Zoom call and do this?
- 18:40Michael Cole: Wow, wow, it's cool.
- 18:44Michael Cole: Yeah, so you're saying just thinking outside the box and doing these kinds of things just kind of runs in the family.
- 18:51Michael Cole: It sounds like.
- 18:53Evely Raudmets: Well, we'll see.
- 18:55Michael Cole: I think it already does.
- 18:59Evely Raudmets: Mastering thoughts, mastering thoughts.
- 19:00Evely Raudmets: Yeah, say that again, I apologize.
- 19:03Evely Raudmets: Mastering thoughts.
- 19:04Michael Cole: Oh yes, absolutely, Absolutely so.
- 19:07Michael Cole: So they, they kind of went before again.
- 19:12Michael Cole: Sorry, I don't want to, I don't, I do not want to stop.
- 19:14Michael Cole: Are there more stories?
- 19:18Evely Raudmets: Not to come to mind right now, not relevant ones to ask.
- 19:24Michael Cole: Awesome.
- 19:24Michael Cole: Thank you first of all for to.
- 19:26Michael Cole: I know it's a blessing for you, but you won't even know how big a blessing it is for me and and I mean people are going crazy on the on the chat, so, um, it's fantastic, amazing story.
- 19:39Michael Cole: So, thank you.
- 19:39Michael Cole: I'm honored you took the time to do that um for for us and obviously it's awesome, it was for you as well, so thank you yeah thank you too, so you're very welcome.
- 19:50Michael Cole: So we'll have you back on next week.
- 19:53Michael Cole: Go talk to dad.
- 19:54Michael Cole: So success stories are really important for us.
- 20:01Michael Cole: You know, coming out of the military that's really what this show is about and what I work towards.
- 20:05Michael Cole: You know.
- 20:05Michael Cole: For out of the military, that's really what this show is about and what I work towards.
- 20:08Michael Cole: You know for what I'm doing.
- 20:10Michael Cole: It's really important, that transition and finding those ways to take the bad and turn them into the good right, the meaning that we give them right Our thoughts.
- 20:23Michael Cole: So what are some of the takeaways that you had from talking to?
- 20:27Michael Cole: Well, I'll even go with your clients, your dad, of course, that he really worked with.
- 20:35Michael Cole: That got him to that next level.
- 20:37Michael Cole: Besides, obviously, I'm going to expose all of this, which was amazing.
- 20:43Evely Raudmets: Mm-hmm.
- 20:43Evely Raudmets: So for my grandfather it was the writing and the art, and what he started doing he's you find something for your soul is what I've learned is one of those.
- 20:59Evely Raudmets: So he started collecting old stamps, coins, and philatelia is I don't know how it's in English like collecting things coins and philatelia is I don't know how it's in english like collecting things.
- 21:11Evely Raudmets: Yeah, he had the biggest collections of old coins and stamps in estonia that was sold at an auction later on.
- 21:17Evely Raudmets: So he he dedicated his life to writing, writing about what, making sure in his own way it would never get repeated again.
- 21:27Evely Raudmets: So that gave the pain meaning.
- 21:30Michael Cole: Yeah.
- 21:31Evely Raudmets: Right.
- 21:32Michael Cole: Yeah.
- 21:32Evely Raudmets: And then drawing.
- 21:35Evely Raudmets: I think that was for his soul, yeah, the art, the beauty of it.
- 21:40Evely Raudmets: And then collecting things.
- 21:41Evely Raudmets: I think, since he was a researcher, right, he liked to search for things and collect and, uh, yeah, and create it.
- 21:49Michael Cole: Yeah, absolutely fits for for, uh, that model of person, obviously and so the, the, the things that he collected?
- 21:58Michael Cole: Uh, I heard you say it was sold at auction, was that?
- 22:02Michael Cole: It was sold he got it after his death.
- 22:06Evely Raudmets: Oh god, they wanted, like the, the state, the country wanted it for itself and, uh, because he had a big safe in the house which I broke my leg to when I was five years old because I was climbing in and I got stuck behind the wheel because it had a big wheel on it no, you're not adventurous oh, I am, yes, I, yes, I am, I am All the stories.
- 22:27Evely Raudmets: But my dad didn't have it so easy.
- 22:30Evely Raudmets: My dad became an alcoholic and it was rough for him, the health and everything.
- 22:39Evely Raudmets: And he's still part of the AA to this day.
- 22:43Evely Raudmets: Right, yeah, but what I saw was the same thing, like nature going to nature, and my dad started painting.
- 22:54Evely Raudmets: Oh great, like oil painting and stuff, and I think he dedicated to the arts and crafting things with his hands.
- 23:06Evely Raudmets: Because when we know our thoughts and stuff, when you do something like painting, it's a form of meditation really.
- 23:16Evely Raudmets: And what meditation does?
- 23:17Evely Raudmets: It calms down the emotional part of the brain, it thickens the prefrontal, the analytical part of your brain.
- 23:23Evely Raudmets: So it makes sense.
- 23:24Evely Raudmets: It all worked like our bodies and we're so innately intelligent that we, if we just allow for the good feeling to come and like, dare to walk with it, like the innate intelligence guides us to like either to sit in nature or paint or listen to music.
- 23:41Evely Raudmets: Again, you know, just be kind to ourselves, I think.
- 23:45Michael Cole: Absolutely, and I think you know we both know that when you're able to connect with something and it feeds your soul, you know it goes into your thoughts.
- 23:55Michael Cole: All the chemical releases and all the things like when we celebrate, et cetera, that we teach our clients.
- 24:01Michael Cole: It makes such a difference.
- 24:03Michael Cole: But you get those same releases from other things like art, from exercise, you know those kinds of things.
- 24:09Michael Cole: So it just it, absolutely.
- 24:11Michael Cole: It makes sense how fantastic and I.
- 24:15Evely Raudmets: I think it might not well, I'd like the experience, but what I gathered from observation when I saw them, they had each other because they had gone through a similar thing, so they could talk to each other and share.
- 24:28Evely Raudmets: I think that's really important, and maybe I didn't see them share with others because they wouldn't understand.
- 24:35Michael Cole: perhaps I don't know.
- 24:36Michael Cole: Yeah, so when, when people get out of the military veterans, et cetera they, they lose that camaraderie.
- 24:44Michael Cole: You know I'm going to go back to my my own fatheraderie.
- 24:46Michael Cole: You know I'm gonna go back to my my own father and you know he got out and went into alcohol and all the things you know just just sounds like you know your father did, yeah, um, it's.
- 24:54Michael Cole: I don't want to say it's the norm, but it's.
- 24:57Michael Cole: It happens more often than it should.
- 24:59Michael Cole: You know, um, and I think that when they, when they find something that positive, that moving forward, um, that support system and that's what I think your grandfather and father found that camaraderie that they lose.
- 25:12Michael Cole: So, my dad, when they got out back in Vietnam, there wasn't Facebook and all these amazing things they have now, so they knew each other from their call signs or their nicknames or whatever, and so they literally lost all those people.
- 25:27Speaker 1: And so very difficult for them, and I think it is for anybody.
- 25:31Michael Cole: It's like if you were to move to a different city after being so close to your father and could never talk to him again.
- 25:37Michael Cole: You know you lose a piece of your soul Right.
- 25:39Michael Cole: So I think it's very similar.
- 25:40Michael Cole: So it's it's such a blessing they had each other and a lot of the same experiences.
- 25:47Michael Cole: It sounds like, yeah, very cool.
- 25:51Michael Cole: So I'd like to move into, if we can, your thoughts on tools.
- 25:58Michael Cole: You know, I know we're both neuro encoders and we always go to those, but let's let's kind of just talk about that.
- 26:06Michael Cole: So tools that you know would help veterans that they can use, and families, for that matter, as well.
- 26:15Michael Cole: You know the unsung heroes, if you will, the silent heroes that go through a lot as well.
- 26:21Michael Cole: What are some tools that you see, with your coaching and so on, that would work for veterans that are struggling with these things?
- 26:33Evely Raudmets: So absolutely, the stop technique which I'm not going to go into here, but like it's everything, it's when you get stuck in your thoughts, like Einstein said, like trying to solve the problem in the way it got to, got you there.
- 26:45Evely Raudmets: Like is the definition of insanity.
- 26:46Evely Raudmets: So my thinking got me into this, so I won't think my out of out of my way, out of thinking.
- 26:52Evely Raudmets: So it's the easiest ways to go about it through physiology, right.
- 26:59Evely Raudmets: So change your body posture suddenly, create that like, shake your body out movement, and there's nothing to do when you just like the power poses work.
- 27:08Evely Raudmets: When you stretch your arms, like and look up, 25 percent additional testosterone in your body, you smile.
- 27:15Evely Raudmets: The brain doesn't know what's going on.
- 27:17Evely Raudmets: It's releasing those happy hormones anyway, and I love this exercise because this is this is one universe that has worked for everyone.
- 27:26Evely Raudmets: You need a piece of paper and a pen for it, okay, do you want to walk us through that, evelyn?
- 27:31Evely Raudmets: Oh, sure, I don't have my pen and paper here, but like I can guide, okay.
- 27:38Michael Cole: So anybody that wants to do it or later on can listen to this.
- 27:41Michael Cole: Evelyn is going to walk us through a quick exercise.
- 27:44Evely Raudmets: It comes from Byron Katie, it's called the Work and it's like how you take charge of your thoughts, like you are not your thoughts, and it always comes down to the question are you entertaining their thoughts?
- 27:56Evely Raudmets: Are all your thoughts entertaining you?
- 27:58Evely Raudmets: Which way is it so, whenever you find yourself feeling not so good, or you actually have a looping thought in your mind, investigate and catch that thought with its exact wording.
- 28:11Evely Raudmets: Let's say I'm always alone, I'll be alone forever, maybe a thought.
- 28:17Evely Raudmets: So you write the thought down exactly like I'm forever alone, or I'm always alone, I'm lonely.
- 28:24Evely Raudmets: I'm forever alone.
- 28:26Evely Raudmets: No one wants me, whatever the thought might be.
- 28:28Evely Raudmets: That's a random example.
- 28:29Evely Raudmets: And then you start questioning it.
- 28:33Evely Raudmets: Is it true?
- 28:34Evely Raudmets: Yes, it's true, I feel it, I have evidence.
- 28:38Evely Raudmets: The brain always proves to you what you ask it to prove to you, right?
- 28:42Evely Raudmets: Well, we're still intelligent people.
- 28:45Evely Raudmets: Then the second question is can I know absolutely that it's true?
- 28:48Evely Raudmets: There are no absolutes.
- 28:50Evely Raudmets: So no, I'm not able to predict the future in that accuracy.
- 28:56Evely Raudmets: So no.
- 28:56Evely Raudmets: And the third question is how do I feel when I believe the thought?
- 29:01Evely Raudmets: Well, I feel sad, lonely, right.
- 29:06Evely Raudmets: And the fourth question is how would I feel if the thought didn't exist, if it wasn't there.
- 29:13Evely Raudmets: Huh, well, I don't know.
- 29:18Evely Raudmets: Neutral, at least Right.
- 29:21Evely Raudmets: And then this opens up the space of okay, and the fifth one could be the thought opposite.
- 29:28Evely Raudmets: I will never be alone.
- 29:30Evely Raudmets: I get to choose.
- 29:31Evely Raudmets: You know, could that be at least the same amount of truth to it?
- 29:36Evely Raudmets: Usually, yes.
- 29:38Evely Raudmets: And then the space opens up for you to choose differently.
- 29:43Evely Raudmets: How you show up what you do, because how we think, so we feel.
- 29:45Evely Raudmets: How you show up what you do because how we think, so we feel.
- 29:46Evely Raudmets: How we feel, so we do.
- 29:47Evely Raudmets: So we're constantly looking for a little bit of a better feeling.
- 29:52Evely Raudmets: And when we tackle the thoughts by writing them down, challenging them with the four or five questions, a light opens up, like a little crack of hope, you know know Right?
- 30:05Michael Cole: No, that is a great exercise.
- 30:07Michael Cole: It's fantastic and truly.
- 30:09Michael Cole: Anybody that hasn't done this exercise, just try it.
- 30:13Michael Cole: Just try it once and you will see how it works.
- 30:17Michael Cole: It's a fantastic exercise, so thank you for sharing that with us.
- 30:20Evely Raudmets: Yeah, and I must say I tried to do it six months in my head.
- 30:24Evely Raudmets: Didn't work.
- 30:24Evely Raudmets: Had to write it down.
- 30:26Evely Raudmets: Be smarter than I was.
- 30:31Michael Cole: Yes, Excellent.
- 30:33Michael Cole: Thank you for sharing that.
- 30:34Michael Cole: So we're about.
- 30:35Michael Cole: Well, we're past time already so.
- 30:37Michael Cole: I told you that 15 minutes we just fly through.
- 30:40Michael Cole: So what I'd love for you to do is if you can share three tips for our veterans or their families on how to get further faster.
- 30:50Michael Cole: Whether it be you can't use the same tip you just did, though that's not fair.
- 30:54Michael Cole: You have to have three new ones.
- 30:57Michael Cole: Okay, how to get further faster during transition or after transition in life.
- 31:04Evely Raudmets: So I'm just going to go whatever comes to me right now.
- 31:06Evely Raudmets: First thing that pops to mind is when you're going through hell, don't stop.
- 31:10Evely Raudmets: You don't want to stop.
- 31:12Evely Raudmets: Keep moving, you will get out of it, that's number one I love that Second one.
- 31:17Evely Raudmets: Second one is be kind to yourself.
- 31:20Evely Raudmets: Stick your like when you were four years old.
- 31:22Evely Raudmets: Stick that picture to your screensaver phone and look at that kid.
- 31:26Evely Raudmets: Be like when you were four years old.
- 31:27Evely Raudmets: Stick that picture to your screensaver or phone and look at that kid.
- 31:28Evely Raudmets: Be kind to yourself.
- 31:28Evely Raudmets: That's where everything begins, you.
- 31:29Evely Raudmets: If you can't love yourself at first, if you've been distanced from love like kindness is in everyone, be kind to yourself first.
- 31:36Evely Raudmets: And the third one is shake your butt.
- 31:41Evely Raudmets: Just shake it, with or without music.
- 31:43Evely Raudmets: That will create the, the happy hormones, because it's produced in the gut.
- 31:47Evely Raudmets: So just shake your ass.
- 31:49Michael Cole: Two music would be better.
- 31:50Michael Cole: Yeah, if you have astitute, I promise, the goopier you get with it, the more you smile, and it just releases all the good chemicals from your brain.
- 31:58Michael Cole: Yeah, it's brain science.
- 32:00Michael Cole: I love it, I love it.
- 32:02Michael Cole: Thank you so much, emily.
- 32:04Michael Cole: If people want to get a hold of you, how do they get a hold of you?
- 32:08Evely Raudmets: Just Google my name or Facebook my name and you can find my social media and I'm just working on my website, so everything's in construction.
- 32:16Michael Cole: There you go.
- 32:16Michael Cole: Excellent, so you know.
- 32:18Michael Cole: If you have questions for Emily, of course, you know reach out Emily.
- 32:21Michael Cole: It's been an absolute blast.
- 32:24Michael Cole: Thank you so much for coming on here.
- 32:26Michael Cole: Thank you Time, of course, is the most precious resource we have as humans and thank you for spending 33 minutes with us.
- 32:34Michael Cole: So absolutely, really appreciate you for doing this, thank you.
- 32:40Evely Raudmets: I appreciate you too.
- 32:41Michael Cole: Thank you and thank you to everyone for their presence and attention Awesome.
- 32:47Michael Cole: Last couple things On the top right-hand corner of the screen there, the blue QR code.
- 32:52Michael Cole: Everybody please scan that.
- 32:55Michael Cole: There are all kinds of resources for veterans.
- 32:58Michael Cole: There are free e-books.
- 33:00Michael Cole: I've written Reach out.
- 33:02Michael Cole: Please check this stuff out.
- 33:05Michael Cole: The resources are important for you guys.
- 33:07Michael Cole: So I think that about covers it.
- 33:09Michael Cole: Emily, you got anything else?
- 33:13Evely Raudmets: Sending love.
- 33:14Michael Cole: Awesome.
- 33:15Evely Raudmets: To everyone.
- 33:16Michael Cole: Yes, you are amazing.
- 33:17Michael Cole: Can't wait to see you in about a week.
- 33:19Michael Cole: So, yeah, I'll be playing with you.
- 33:22Michael Cole: All right, thank you for joining us.
- 33:26Michael Cole: And well, you know the drill we're out of here.
- 33:33Speaker 1: Thank you for joining us on another insightful journey of your Thoughts your Reality podcast with your host, michael Cole.
- 33:40Speaker 1: We hope the conversation sparked some thoughts that resonate with you.
- 33:43Speaker 1: To dive deeper into empowering your thoughts and enhancing your reality, visit empowerperformancestrategiescom.
- 33:50Speaker 1: Remember your thoughts shape your reality, so make them count.
- 33:55Speaker 1: Until next time, stay inspired and keep creating the reality you desire.
- 34:00Speaker 1: Catch you on the next episode.