Latest / The Hypnotist / End People-Pleasing in Relationships - Hypnosis for Balance, Respect, and Emotional Security

Transcript

End People-Pleasing in Relationships - Hypnosis for Balance, Respect, and Emotional Security · The Hypnotist

• 0:05
  Welcome to The Hypnotist, the show that gives you inside
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  access to cutting edge hypnosis with real clients facing
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  genuine. Issues.
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  Brought to you by The Hypnotherapist, demanded by
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  celebrities, CEOs and even royalty, Adam Cox.
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  These recordings took place live from Evans Clinic in London's
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  world famous Harley Street. So get yourself comfortable and
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  enjoy today's episode of The Hypnotist.
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  Hi. Adam here and this is a
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  relationship based hypnosis session designed to help you
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  end. People.
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  Pleasing and some people find themselves in a relationship
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  where they put the needs of their partner way above their
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  own needs. And that's fine if it's about
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  the same level. But if it's a relationship where
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  it's great for them and not great for you, that's probably
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  not a wonderful relationship to stay in.
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  And this isn't a hypnosis session to encourage you to end
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  a relationship. It's a hypnosis session to
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  encourage you to have the kind of boundaries that make you have
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  a relationship that you want to stay in.
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  And it uses a metaphor of a river to represent two different
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  timelines. And only the status quo is off
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  the table. And status quo just means, as
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  things are, to continue in the current level.
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  Because I was working with a client, but because of their
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  upbringing, their different cultural background, they saw a
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  father that was more than happy to put his own needs first, but
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  his that his, his wife and the mother of the client was always
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  kind of playing second fiddle. So they had that background and
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  at some level that became a role model, a pattern that they
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  followed. They just knew that they didn't
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  want that, so it led to a lot of neediness and people pleasing
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  and compromising on standards, going out of their way for their
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  partner but not even tolerating the the bread crumbs for
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  themself. So the two timelines represent
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  one of two futures, either a future where there is healthy
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  boundaries, a lot of mutual respect, a lot of love and
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  connection that is conducive to a great relationship, or.
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  They see themselves. With those qualities of
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  confidence and an element of high standards and personal
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  validation without even needing a relationship.
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  It's just this kind of accepting the bread crumbs in a
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  relationship that is off the table.
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  So if you can relate or resonate to that idea, if you feel that
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  it's uneven in terms of the relationship dynamics, you might
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  get some value from this hypnosis session.
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  But please be aware, it was entirely calibrated to the
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  client that I was working with. Therefore, some of their issues
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  might not be your issues. Some of their relationship
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  dynamics might not be your relationship dynamics.
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  So just hone into anything that feels useful.
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  And the key essence of this is having mutual respect to stop
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  people pleasing. And that doesn't mean ultimatums
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  and rudeness with your partner, but just shifting the energy
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  dynamic so that it's a win for both parties rather than a win
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  lose situation. So if you can connect to that,
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  you'll get some value. And if you do want something
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  entirely calibrated and customized bespoke for you,
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  there will be a link in the description.
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  Or you can visit my website, adamcox.co.uk.
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  You can book a free consultation call with me.
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  It's completely free, about half an hour, we'll chat and who
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  knows, we may end up working together.
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  For now though, find a quiet, comfortable place, the kind of
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  place where you're not going to get distracted or intruded upon.
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  Relax and enjoy the session. Take a deep breath in and as you
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  breathe in, breathe in that feeling of calm relaxation and
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  as you exhale feel a sense of release as if tension, stress or
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  worries are leaving your body in that outward breath.
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  And on the next inward breath, aim to breathe in deeper and
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  slower, activating that diaphragm, but breathing in a
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  feeling of resourcefulness and self belief.
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  And as you exhale, really feel the release of any insecurities.
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  That's it. Just allow them to leave your
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  body almost like shadows leaving your outward breath, breathing
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  and resourcefulness and exhaling any doubts and limitations.
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  That's it. Eyelids feeling heavier, jaw
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  feeling looser. Give yourself permission in this
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  time to really relax, to let go now.
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  It'd be nothing to do, just allowing old beliefs that no
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  longer serve you to dislodge to refine and update.
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  That's it. Beliefs naturally change.
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  There may have been a time that you believed in tooth fairies
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  and that excitement was real even if the belief wasn't.
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  And I wonder what real emotions you feel now based on beliefs
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  that aren't even true. But the deeper you breathe, the
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  more relaxed you feel. And the more relaxed you feel,
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  the deeper you breathe. And as your body relaxes, your
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  imagination awakens. And I want you to imagine that
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  your physical body stays where it is, but your imagination is
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  going on a run. I want you to think of a river
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  on a sunny day with blue skies. And we need to imagine what it
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  would feel like to be filled with energy, vitality, and
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  running by the river. Maybe seeing the sun reflect on
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  the surface of the river. Maybe you find that pace, that
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  rhythm, and allow the rhythm of the run to start synchronizing
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  with the rhythm of your heartbeat and the rhythm of your
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  breath. And I know sometimes you've been
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  running and the running seems to happen all by itself and you can
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  get lost in your imagination because your body knows how to
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  run. So allow yourself to get back to
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  that state where you don't even need to think about running and
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  your mind can take you on a wonderful journey of change.
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  For a while now, you've given yourself a role.
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  A role with what you should do, must do, or expected to do based
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  on narratives, observations, childhood experiences.
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  But what if you're running a script that isn't yours?
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  I want you to get a feeling then, if knowing what you now
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  know, you wouldn't accept things as they are, that it means now
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  is the time to make new evaluations, build new
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  boundaries, and communicate needs that you need, but maybe
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  other people don't know that you need them.
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  As you find that rhythm in the run, notice your breathing gets
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  even deeper. perhaps darks or Swans.
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  There were different animals that seem to be in couples there
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  on the water. And as you stare at the animals,
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  I want you to imagine that your unconscious reveals a part of
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  your life where it feels that you've been giving more than you
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  receive. Perhaps the part where you place
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  your partner's needs above your own, the part where anxiety
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  fills the gaps and they're not around, sends your mind on a
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  journey of what if. And with a gentle curiosity you
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  to imagine seeing that dynamic in two Swans. 1 swan being
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  generous and the other swan being accepting of that
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  generosity but not necessarily reciprocating in the same way.
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  And as you start to see the exact dynamic in your
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  relationship in those two Swans, I want you to feel that detached
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  level of observation through the lens of curiosity.
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  And I want you to get a feeling that as you see that pattern, it
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  dawns on you. This is not a floor in you, not
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  a weakness, just a strategy learned a long time ago.
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  And maybe it was a strategy born from love, but perhaps also from
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  fear. A powerful fear is the fear of
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  loss, fear of rejection, fear of not being enough.
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  And maybe that swan is asking, who am I without them?
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  But as you look at that old pattern, I want you to
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  communicate with it. Thank you for trying to protect
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  me, but I don't need this kind of protection anymore.
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  And the pattern begins to dissolve, unravelling strand by
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  strand like a knot, gently loosening until there is no
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  pressure left. Keep observing the Swans as it
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  seems like a new dynamic is establishing.
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  And then imagine in a hologram over the river that seems to
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  show the relationship of your parents like an echo of the
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  past. Not in detail and not
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  emotionally charged, but just a representation.
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  And you recognize that you've learned some things from them,
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  but no longer align with who you are and what you value.
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  And maybe old beliefs about love, old assumptions about
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  connection, perhaps even old fears disguised as loyalty.
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  Imagine gathering all of those beliefs from the hologram of the
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  past, and just imagine seeing them dissipate to tiny
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  molecules, grains of sand that just fall into the water and get
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  washed away by the current. Those ideas have served their
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  time, and maybe they weren't useful in the way you want them
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  to be. Now imagine they're completely
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  diluted and dissolved into the water and fearless sense of
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  release. You don't need to live their
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  story or even a reaction to it. You are free to write your own.
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  I wonder if you can imagine the space around you expanding.
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  Any feelings of contraction or limitation is now morphing into
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  a sense of freedom, breathing room, mental space.
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  And what if the anxiety that used to fill this space begins
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  to evaporate, revealing a deeper truth?
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  If your partner is not around, that is not a threat.
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  You're worth is not diminished by distance and your value
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  exists whether they are near or far with no need to chase
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  reassurance, no need to lose yourself in worries and what
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  ifs, no need to build meaning out of silence or gaps.
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  Just connect with a sense of expansion and freedom and full
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  acceptance. You can accept that things are
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  the way they are and also accept that certain things no longer
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  meet your needs and your mind becomes peaceful, your chest
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  becomes lighter and your emotional world becomes your own
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  again. I want you to imagine standing
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  up and looking down into the river and seeing a reflection
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  and as you stare at yourself, see a new level of empowerment,
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  confidence. See your version of you that is
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  immune to the fear of loss. Sometimes people hold onto
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  things that they want it to be, even if it hasn't been that way.
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  Rather than fearing a loss, I want you to make a confident
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  affirmation as you look at yourself in that reflection.
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  If it isn't as I want it, then I don't want it.
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  And how can you fear losing something you don't want?
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  And then it becomes the goal to make it.
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  As you would want it. I want you to stare at the Swans
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  and see that something's different.
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  A dynamic of imbalance now seems different.
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  A dynamic of mutual respect, consideration, reciprocity.
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  And as you stare at the Swans, I want you to feel that that is
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  what you deserve. a feeling that boundaries aren't there to
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  control. Boundaries are there to protect
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  and respect. You respect the boundaries of
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  your partner and they respect yours.
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  And by respecting the boundaries, you lay the
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  foundation where more needs and wants can be met.
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  I want you to imagine sitting back down on the bench, looking
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  at the river going in two different directions.
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  The river now represents two different futures to the left.
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  I want you to imagine a future where, just like this one is,
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  your relationship shows you living with clear boundaries,
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  articulating your wants and needs with a new dynamic, a new
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  lease of life, the kind of relationship that you would want
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  to stay in forever, And then look in the other
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  direction of the river also showing a desirable future, a
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  confident version of you. A confident version of you that
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  was willing to walk away from a relationship that wasn't able to
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  meet their needs. You're not sad.
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  You're empowered, confident with absolute clarity as to what it
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  is you're willing to accept and not accept.
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  And I want you to get a feeling that both futures are desirable.
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  There's almost a part of you that doesn't mind which of those
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  becomes real. The only thing you're not
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  willing to accept is the crumbs. A relationship of feeling second
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  best, feeling like an afterthought if your unconscious
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  feels empowered to no longer accept that which is below your
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  needs, and to only accept a future of value, love,
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  consideration, and respect in whichever form that it finds its
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  way to you, not your head. And allow all of those changes
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  to ripple down from the top of your head down to the tips of
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  your toes. That's it.
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  And I want you to imagine that to change the status quo to
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  something else requires conversations.
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  My question is about the needs of someone else that facilitates
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  that reciprocity to communicate your own needs and incompetent
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  to explore hypothetical scenarios that establishes new
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  boundaries based on agreement. but you can allow yourself to
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  change. Change your standards, your
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  beliefs, and those things that you will or will not tolerate.
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  I want you to imagine leaving the bench and jocking back in
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  that same direction that you came from.
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  Feeling lighter, confident, more empowered.
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  Like you're at the start of a brand new chapter in the story
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  of your life and you're excited to see how it develops.
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  Allow yourself to start to float back to the present, the here
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  and the now. Take a deep breath in through
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  your nose and out through your nose.
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  Wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes.
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  Connect and calibrate into the here and the now.
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  As I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to awaken you.
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  You will awaken feeling empowered, confident, with a new
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  sense of clarity, leaving those old beliefs and limitations.
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  There is grains of sand in the river starting to count. 123
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  Waking up 456 More alert 7-8 Open your eyes, open your eyes.
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  910 Wide awake, wide awake, wide awake.
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  Thank you so much for joining me on today's episode of The
• 27:21
  Hypnotist. If you've enjoyed this episode
• 27:23
  or got some value. From it please give it a.
• 27:26
  Five star rating and review and maybe you know someone that
• 27:31
  would also benefit from this particular episode, in which
• 27:34
  case share the episode with them so they can also.
• 27:37
  Get the benefit too. And if you would like to listen
• 27:41
  to this episode where it's just the hypnosis, so no.
• 27:45
  Intro No outro. No explanation, just the
• 27:49
  hypnosis and completely ad free. There will be a link in the
• 27:52
  description where you can subscribe at a very low cost and
• 27:56
  only get access. To the.
• 27:58
  Hypnosis, so if that's of interest please check.
• 28:01
  That out. Thank you again for being a
• 28:04
  regular listener of The Hypnotist and I'll see you again
• 28:07
  soon for more.