Latest / Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck / Still Kicking: Relationships, The 2020 Crucible | Live Recording with Matthew Patti

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Still Kicking: Relationships, The 2020 Crucible | Live Recording with Matthew Patti · Alive & Kicking: Stories of Waking Up with Kay Eck

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: All right.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: Hi Matthew.
• 0:03
  SPEAKER_00: Hello, Kay.
• 0:05
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome to my little apartment in the Midwest.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_02: Welcome to my uh my scratchy uh strategic studio with um itchings.
• 0:21
  unknown: Yeah.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_02: You got many?
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I see.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, those are like are those like big post-it notes.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I only do big post-it notes.
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_02: There's too many big ideas, so I need to unpack it all and see it.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're here to talk about today, some big ideas about relationships.
• 0:37
  SPEAKER_00: So hi everybody.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to welcome you all to this um episode of Still Kicking with Matthew Patty.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: Matthew is coming to us from Australia.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: And so we couldn't be in person as yet, but that is something that we want to talk about today.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: And we are here to talk about relationships.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_00: And um I feel like I called uh in my description relationships the crucible because it feels like it's that you know molten pot uh through which we are experiencing the red hot poker of 2020.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: You know?
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_02: I mean such uh explosive language.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I mean, you know, I think that's kind of how it feels for people.
• 1:32
  SPEAKER_00: Just joining us, we're I'm live with Matthew Patty, and we are on Still Kicking, and we are gonna be talking about relationships tonight.
• 1:41
  SPEAKER_00: So thanks for joining us.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_00: Um so one of the things that I think is um so why the reason why it's so potent is because you know, all of the extraneous stuff has been removed um from our lives.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And especially, you know, at the beginning of um the lockdown, we were either in close, constant proximity with our relationships, or we were removed from them like constantly, and you know, like maybe not that's not exactly what we wanted.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_00: So it was kind of like an extreme um petri dish, I guess you could say.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_02: Absolutely, absolutely put up a lot for them, people.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I I wanted to start out today by um talking a little bit.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: I went back to the episode that we taped, which was prior to lockdown, and we actually talked quite a bit about um relationships.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: And um one of the things that you were talking about was that in your awakening in 2012, you um were doing a lot of unwinding of your relationships, and I was and and other things as well.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I was wondering if you could describe a little bit like how that felt and whether this has the same energy behind it, that this is like phase two of extreme unwinding.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_02: Great question.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I love love that observation in that too.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_02: Definitely.
• 3:27
  SPEAKER_02: The unwinding for me back at the end of 2012 was really like a death.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_02: It was um the death of the old self, even though it doesn't happen in an instant.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_02: There's a, you know, there's an onboarding or an on-ramping into this penultimate sort of experience.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_02: And we often feel like in the lead up to it, where, you know, space-time and time-space collide and and everything starts to collapse.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_02: And then from that moment is is being reborn or rebirthed.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_02: You know, there are there's all these little glimpses that we have along the way.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_02: And it feels it feels at times constrictive, it feels very challenging, it feels uncertain, it feels um like there's grief involved in that because there's like a letting go.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_02: So we often think that the term grief assigned to an emotion is uh is really the depth.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_02: But grief at the level of a state of being is actually you know a very deep unwinding of chemistry and neurology within the body and energetically within your your personal field as well.
• 4:38
  SPEAKER_02: So in relating it to this, it feels like a something similar.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_02: In and yet the spell that I've called it as such, for you know, since it all started, it is really a spell that we've had this cloak or this fog descend on our being because it's it feels like it's been brought upon us rather than by choice.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_02: And so for the first period of time, we're sort of we're we're wrestling with it and trying to fight against it, and we're trying to find our way through it and make make sense and meaning of why it's occurring.
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_02: And and still many people are doing that.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_02: And yet, really at the depth of it, it's the you know, the greatest invitation, because this invitation is an invitation to birth ourselves at another octave of consciousness, another point of awareness, uh, a grander, more expanded view of the self, because it's priming us.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_02: I believe it's priming us for what will ensue over the next decade, you know, for relationships, communities, how we do life.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, what so like what how does that relate to relationships?
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: Like if if we if this that's like a really unusual situation for conscious people to be in, to have something so significant to be cast upon you, you know, like that's usually we like to think like we have a role in what is unfolding, you know.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: So how does that how does that weave into an out of the relationship situation?
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what does that bring up for you in the context of relationships?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_02: Well, relationship-wise, I I start to think of like um concentric circles, almost like the a bullseye, or you know, you drop a pebble in a pond and you've got that ripple effect.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_02: So you've got your inner circle.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_02: And for me, you know, I I'd started to feel early in 2019 that there was a change in my relationship environment, in that pea tree dish called relationship.
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_02: So that inner circle was starting to change because I was changing.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_02: My ideas were changing, I was asking different questions, my my desires were starting to take on a slightly different sort of bent, you know, like being more exploration, more adventure, different types of conversation.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_02: So I started to get the glimpse back then.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_02: So the inner circle tends to be number one, either the first to be transformed or the last because we resist it.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_02: And so as you go out, then it's those people.
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_02: For me, it was, well, I'm no longer having those conversations with those types of people.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_02: And quite often, relationship is for me, is I look at number one, you know, you can say, well, that is a male or a female, and this is my relationship to them.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but really at the level of gender, it's energy.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_02: And so that type of relationship is what I'm holding as a state.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_02: So I'm sort of thinking, well, these are the types of relationships that I'm unwinding from, these types of conversations, this type of energy.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_02: And so we remove the mask or the or the veil of the identity of each of the people, and start to see that there's a rhythm or a pattern starting to play out.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_02: And I think for me at the beginning of 2019, that was that evolutionary leap that I needed, you know.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_02: So I started putting a lot more uh emphasis on uh North America rather than Australia and you know, spending more time there and you know, meeting new people and getting invited to new things and having new experiences as a result.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_02: So that was part of that preparation, but part of that evolutionary sort of uh I guess uh journey, looking back on it now.
• 8:46
  SPEAKER_02: So, really relationships for me started to change because I started to ask, you know, what is it that I want in my world?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_02: You know, what types of relationships?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because relationships always make us feel, they make us feel a certain way.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_02: So what is it that I want?
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah.
• 9:05
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Wow.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Of course, I I hadn't really thought of it that way, but of course, it's like so obvious.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, like relationships are just one big gelatinous mass of feeling.
• 9:17
  SPEAKER_02: That's all that they are.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_02: They're just this etheric and tangible all at the same time.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: So, one of the things that I've really been wanting to ask you, and I just want to take a minute to say hi to everybody that's joining us today.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much for joining us.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: If you have questions, please write them in the comments and Alex will send them off to us.
• 9:35
  SPEAKER_00: But you are a coach primarily of sorts, and um I hope that's the you how you would define some of the work that you do.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um but so I'm guessing, and because you do have a global clientele and practice and you do travel a lot, I'm wondering how you have how you so you probably are used to doing a lot of connecting with people online virtually when you're staying connected with them.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: And I want to talk about the difference between being with people virtually and being with people in person because I'm like so tired of living virtually, like I can, it's not enjoyable to me anymore.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: At first it was like good stand-in, but now it doesn't feel like a good stand-in.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: And um I just want like I just want us to all say like this is not this is not enough for us.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like we have to be together.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: But how what's your you know that's that's my two cents, but what's your two cents?
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: Oh yeah, absolutely the same.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_02: So because I'd positioned myself pretty much online a couple of years back.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and so most of my uh consultations, 99% of them, are all virtual.
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: So I got to have um I I established myself virtually and that worked for me because I didn't have to travel to see clients, I didn't have to be at their office or my office or whatever it needed to be.
• 11:17
  SPEAKER_02: However, when the imposed lockdowns and the change, this mist or fog, this spell, that's when I really started to feel what I've always wanted as you know, a reasonably private sort of person.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I have my intimate circle and and I love you know hanging out with those people.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_02: That's where I started to miss.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_02: I started to miss that.
• 11:43
  SPEAKER_02: Well, I've got my work zone and I've got my personal zone.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_02: And even though I can count, you know, most of my clients as great friends as well, because we have that type of relationship, there was that inner yearning in me that was thinking, am I actually allowed to do that?
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_02: Am I, you know, am I allowed to touch someone else?
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_02: Am I allowed to meet with someone else?
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_02: Am I allowed to, you know, that because it wasn't my initial thought.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_02: It was pretty much the environment or the conversation that you would invariably find yourself in.
• 12:21
  SPEAKER_02: People talking about and saying, you know, you've got to have distance, you've got to do this, you've got to do that.
• 12:25
  SPEAKER_02: You think, mm.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_02: So that actually made me um, I guess, contract a little bit more in as far as I guess choosing who I did want to spend time with, because I didn't want to run the same narrative and have this buffering and distortion of can we do this, can we not do this, you know, whatever it may be, whether it's just dinner or coffee or just going around to someone's place to have a chat, whatever it may be.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_02: So it started to change it up a little bit.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_02: And I could feel the the resistance in me that was thinking, don't don't get enrolled in this narrative.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_02: And I became more and more discerning of who I spent time with and what conversations I had.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that's what made um being out in public so difficult is um is to see, you know, um people staring clear of each other in ways that was so obvious, you know, that that that didn't occur before.
• 13:29
  SPEAKER_00: Just walking down the street, people walking their dogs or getting out for a walk.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: Um that was even eye contact.
• 13:36
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, and I I um it feels like it's it's lingering, it's creating.
• 13:45
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, it almost I mean, I don't want to say it feels permanent, but it feels, you know, that it's still there, it's still affecting us.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and I don't, you know, I don't it that doesn't feel good to me at all.
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_02: No, yeah, totally.
• 14:00
  SPEAKER_02: It's like it is like a hangover.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_02: And from from that perspective, it is this, there's this unconscious bias towards conformity, this unconscious bias towards doing the right thing, this unconscious bias to bypass judgment that we that we carry as part of our belief system.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_02: And so, you know, you could look at someone and just smile, or you could just you know be walking along the street and proximity again.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_02: And I tested this many times, you know, I'd walk up to a set of lights if I just went for a walk through the city or whatever it may be.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_02: And if I got uh what's too close and what's it's like the goalie lock zone, and people literally took one step away or one step forward or one step back or whatever, and I went, hmm, interesting.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_02: So there's the there's this contraction of their field because the the field is being um coded by fear, yeah.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: You know, do you wonder if that's gonna sh revert back or change or what's gonna happen?
• 15:12
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I do, I do, and and you know, we can sort of prost uh postulate and think, well, how can we live in this a CV normal world, which is the language that they're using, it's absurd.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_02: From my perspective, I'd rather be a little bit more maverick about it.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_02: Let's create the connection points for people that want the connection points.
• 15:39
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I was thinking of that, like um that because I'm really interested and can not concern, but um, I I want to make sure that I'm being respectful of where everybody is on the spectrum of being human right now, like because everything is acceptable.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: And um I I was thinking, like, why could there not be, you know, I don't want to further divide us, but there could easily be grocery stores for people who feel comfortable and grocery stores for people who don't, but you could have a people like a um a contact airplane and a no contact airplane, or you know, like I don't want that to happen, but it certainly could evolve that way.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_02: I I feel that's where it's going.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_02: I feel you know, people in conscious community have spoken um about you know the the split between the 3D and the 5D earth and all those sorts of things, and then that there's competing narratives around that, when in fact that is a very likely scenario because of this this post you know uh pandemic hangover and it changes.
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_02: So people uh I feel are going to be more uh a lot more local and rather than regional.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_02: So they're going to do things in their local area, they're going to hang with the the same types of people, so they're going to be, I guess their footprint is going to reduce so that they know what they know and they can control their environment consciously or unconsciously.
• 17:17
  SPEAKER_02: I also feel that there is, you know, there is a growing movement that will start if it has already, but it will become more evident.
• 17:27
  SPEAKER_02: Um, where others will want to gather.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_02: They will want to gather, and there won't be the contracts and the strings attached and all these sorts of things, but it'll be well, let's show up in our humanness and let's show up in the light of our of our the awareness and the tone of the conversations and the connections that we want to have.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_02: I think by nature we are going to be drawn to that.
• 17:53
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 17:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was um, I've been in the process of editing my book, and I wrote back in um I was came across this passage where I referred to the it was a it was a chapter on touch, and I referred to it being the seventh day of lockdown and how people I was experiencing people missing human touch already.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_00: I was seven days in.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_00: So I I mean, so let's let's get personal for a moment here.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_00: If we can since it's all about feelings, we can talk about it.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_00: Feel the feels so tell me about how your experience affected your relationships or your or your feelings about relationships.
• 18:45
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_02: It it at the beginning there was like a denial.
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_02: It felt like, is this really happening?
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_02: You know, do we need to pay attention or not?
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_02: So the denial then brought a a bit of conflict, inner conflict.
• 19:03
  SPEAKER_02: And then from that perspective, I was thinking, okay, it really started to polarize.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_02: Who do I feel comfortable energetically around and who do I not?
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and human touch is is vitally important.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_02: So again, the inner circle became even more even more contracted.
• 19:25
  SPEAKER_02: And so you you're sort of thinking, well, now I really have a nucleus, but am I getting topped up?
• 19:32
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's that's where you know, you know, like taking taking that road trip for me was about moving my energy.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_02: Because, you know, the the the sister or the brother of touch is proximity.
• 19:48
  SPEAKER_02: So some people just want to be in a cafe because there's other people around.
• 19:51
  SPEAKER_02: They don't need to go and hug or rub shoulders or hold hands with everyone in the cafe, but it's proximity.
• 19:57
  SPEAKER_02: And so for me, it was I I cannot stay in my ivory tower.
• 20:01
  SPEAKER_02: I need to move, I need to shift my energy, and I need to bring new information into my field.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_02: At the beginning, I observed it and sort of thought, well, is this a bypass?
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_02: Are you trying to run from your feelings?
• 20:18
  SPEAKER_02: And for the first month of jostling whether I was going to go on the road or not, it was.
• 20:23
  SPEAKER_02: I was pushing it down and I was getting frustrated, and I thought, this is BS.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_02: I don't like it.
• 20:28
  SPEAKER_02: It's rubbish.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_02: Because what blocked the touch and blocked the connection was the same narrative that everyone defaulted to.
• 20:37
  SPEAKER_02: It was no longer the weather, it was this thing called blah blah.
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know?
• 20:42
  SPEAKER_02: And I just went, yeah, not I'm not interested.
• 20:46
  SPEAKER_02: Not interested in it.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so for me, sorry.
• 20:52
  SPEAKER_00: Did you find a lot of people to talk to about that?
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_02: No, I found I found a core group of people, and typically, you know, my clients, you know, you would be the same, you know, you have the the intimate group of people that you can bounce ideas off and talk about things.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but I didn't, you know, and that was that was really exposed when I was traveling.
• 21:14
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, I booked the first month in the motorhome.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, well, you know, Queensland's not in lockdown.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to go around Queensland and feel my way through it.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_02: So I transferred the idea of touch physically to experience a beta version of touch through movement and being just being around different environments that weren't in big cities.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_02: The big cities are the swarm environments, swarms of conversation, swarms of consciousness, swarms of narrative, swarms of BS.
• 21:48
  SPEAKER_02: So I wanted to leave the big city.
• 21:50
  SPEAKER_02: And I think a lot of people are doing that for that reason.
• 21:53
  SPEAKER_02: So they could open themselves to receive new information and potentially, you know, with that view of making new content.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_02: And new connections.
• 22:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 22:02
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I know for me, um, I don't have like a an intimate relationship, but I have um, you know, a lot of children.
• 22:12
  SPEAKER_00: And um I noticed that I the um some of the positive things that came of it, and my kids are really spread out anyway, so contact physical proximity doesn't happen that often.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but I found myself becoming really curious about what their experience was because um, you know, they they're I just was super curious, and so that curiosity let me get really close to them in a um closer, and um it's was kind of like a way to understand where they are in the world, you know, where their consciousness is and what sorts of things they are worried about, and you know, like on a deeper level, um, which I really appreciated.
• 23:15
  SPEAKER_00: It was um, you know, and and that's true also of friends, like there weren't a lot of frivolous conversations suddenly.
• 23:24
  SPEAKER_00: It all had a depth to it that I really appreciated, although it was kind of an intense experience.
• 23:32
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I appreciated the the tunnels that were dug and have remained as a result.
• 23:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um but so I wish that I could have you know gotten there a different way, but that's one of the silver linings for me.
• 23:50
  SPEAKER_00: But yeah, the clouds have been um that I just they're they're like the the thing that we don't talk about really is what is exchanged between people.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you know, bugs, yeah, but that's like such a small part of it, like bacteria and virus, like so small, literally and figuratively.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but there's so much, you know, like the love and the support and just like the the electric connection and I don't know, but it's like it's magical too.
• 24:26
  SPEAKER_00: We we get healthier when we're together too.
• 24:29
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't know what the physiology of that is, but we we're we're keeping each other healthy in a web because we raise to each other's vibration, right?
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_00: Like a healthy person is vibrating highly, and when you're in their proximity, you're healthier, right?
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: So um, yeah.
• 24:50
  SPEAKER_00: Well, one of the other things that you talked about um in our first conversation was that when you were allowing relationships to fall away naturally because you were awakening to a new level of being, that you initially were encouraging and hoping that people were gonna come along with you.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_00: And you um noticed that when you really dug down deep into it, that that was actually a crutch for you, that you didn't really have the courage to go alone.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_00: You were wanting company on the journey.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_00: Do you can you talk a little bit about that and whether that has any relevance in what you were experiencing in your relationships this time around?
• 25:47
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I think it's a it's a really good um leap from acquiring the knowledge of what I did last time, which which is human nature.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going on this journey, I feel the pulse or the move, uh uh the dynamic to shift.
• 26:04
  SPEAKER_02: Do you want to come with me?
• 26:06
  SPEAKER_02: Because there's safety in numbers, but there's also safety in the known.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_02: And so when I I look back, and I think this started at the beginning of 2019, you know, where I thought, well, I need to create my own environment, and I'm so sure that it will arrive because I'm not defining something by what I think of it, I'm defining it by what I feel about it.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_02: And and so I I since 2019 and especially the early part of this year, I felt a lot more confident and a lot more resilient, and I guess more maverick in my decisions.
• 26:47
  SPEAKER_02: This is what I'm going to do, even though it might have taken me a week or a month to decide on that.
• 26:54
  SPEAKER_02: But yeah, I felt that was that was the obvious next step.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_02: Because we still are seeking a little bit of permission or a little bit of company.
• 27:04
  SPEAKER_02: However, the pulse was strong enough to say no one else is going to do it in your environment.
• 27:10
  SPEAKER_02: They're living their own lives, they're doing the things that they want to do on their terms.
• 27:16
  SPEAKER_02: Lead your life, lead your life.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_02: And in order to lead it, you must first be, you know, the the pointy end of it, the leader, but you also must follow yourself into that decision.
• 27:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 27:28
  SPEAKER_02: And so that's that's why, you know, um, leaving the apartment and going on the road uh really helped to cultivate that a little bit more, um, which did bring up some other things along the way, like, you know, the point, some points of loneliness, you know, making up my own songs and driving along and those sort of things, and thinking, okay, this is really about the self.
• 27:47
  SPEAKER_02: It's all about the self.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_02: Get to know yourself, ma'am.
• 27:51
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I I'm glad you brought that up because we actually had a question coming in because you and I have a similar circumstance where you know we we mostly live alone.
• 28:01
  SPEAKER_00: You have you have children, but you travel a lot, and my children are older.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_00: And um, but the the question was, how do you um navigate it when you're at you're in you're you're stuck in the relationships with the people, like you have a household, you have a partner and you have children and nobody's going anywhere.
• 28:24
  SPEAKER_00: How do you find the grace and the awakening when you're in that soup?
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: That is a hot soup.
• 28:32
  SPEAKER_02: That is a hot soup.
• 28:33
  SPEAKER_02: And whether you want to call it clam chowder or some uh Ukrainian broth, I don't know.
• 28:38
  SPEAKER_02: But but it's yeah, a number of and and this is actually what did come up for my clients because my clients are beautiful reflections of what is evolving in the world, and so for me, it gave me an insight into something more tangible than just observing it and hearing it from the outside.
• 29:02
  SPEAKER_02: Because so, in answer to the question, every single person in that dynamic is going through change at a different slightly different rate.
• 29:13
  SPEAKER_02: And as I observed, it was it's like a graphic equalizer.
• 29:17
  SPEAKER_02: People are sliding up and down at different points.
• 29:19
  SPEAKER_02: You know, some people, some two people out of a five-person family may be having a great day, someone else is having a meh day, two other people are not.
• 29:27
  SPEAKER_02: And so, how do you equalize and bring balance and harmony to to that environment?
• 29:33
  SPEAKER_02: Um, one conversation I did have in particular was to encourage that that person to enroll all members of their family in a sit-down and not have it as, okay, this is where we're going to read the laws of the land, or I want you to go deep and to, you know, sit on the psychology couch, the chaise lounge, and just purge all the skeletons that are coming up.
• 29:57
  SPEAKER_02: It's really about connection, connection through games, connection through, you know, through uh plunging just a little bit of extra depth, because I think this is one of the gifts that this era has provided us, is we are all seeking depth.
• 30:13
  SPEAKER_02: And it is exposed the lack of depth in our lives that that we have have been living up to that point because there's so much noise and so much distraction.
• 30:23
  SPEAKER_02: If I don't want to be in the environment with these people, I leave, I go to work, I go to the shops, I go out with my friends, I get stuck into video games, whatever it is.
• 30:33
  SPEAKER_02: So from that environment, it was to really um understand that every single person in that dynamic in the household is going through a different wavelength of experience and to encourage the sharing of that, um, where everyone is observing and holding space rather than the judgment of, well, why are you feeling that on this particular day?
• 30:58
  SPEAKER_02: We we know when you look at what is right now, it's a byproduct and a direct result of everything that you had done previously.
• 31:08
  SPEAKER_02: So what is vibrating in your reality right now is the sum total of your thoughts, actions, and feelings in the past up to this point.
• 31:15
  SPEAKER_02: So if someone's had a a very um uh, let's say an emotionally shallow existence and they've filled it with lots of noise and lots of jargon and and distraction, this is bringing into a pressure cooker environment where they are every single person is being faced or comes to face with their own their own shadow, their own worst, worst fear, which is I need to deal with this stuff.
• 31:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 31:42
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and so dealing with it, bringing bringing the shadow to the surface is not easy.
• 31:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's easier for the self, but when you have others at maybe different levels of consciousness or different ages and with running slightly different patterns uh and agendas, it can be very challenging.
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_02: So, first and foremost is to come to the self.
• 32:04
  SPEAKER_02: You must fill your cup and fill your cup with with a routine or a ritual on a daily basis that does nurture the self, whether it's a bath or time out to meditate, or you know, five laps around the backyard, or you know, whatever it's going to be in in those really tight lockdown environments.
• 32:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 32:22
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 32:23
  SPEAKER_00: I just want to, you know, kind of like express my um my support and my love for all the moms out there who are um in these really intense situations, who've, you know, had to give up their um their jobs in some cases to stay home with the kids, certainly their freedom, um, any you know, little bits of freedom that they might have had before, you know, gone.
• 32:52
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just like, oh, I just want to acknowledge the intensity of that situation.
• 32:58
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that the tendency for all of us, but they have it worse.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: I I'm convinced they have it pretty much worse than anybody, but um, the tendency is to like I find myself doing this as like, okay, this is not going to, it's not always going to be like this.
• 33:17
  SPEAKER_00: This is a temporary state.
• 33:20
  SPEAKER_00: And so the temptation is to just sort of check out of the situation because you know it's going to change, and so you're already living in this in the state that's you know is coming your way.
• 33:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so you're not getting out of it what you might get out of it.
• 33:39
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I wrote this in the foreword of my book that life does not come with an instruction manual, it is the instruction manual.
• 33:48
  SPEAKER_00: So for some reason, mom, you have been put in this situation, this pressure cooker situation, in order to see things that you wouldn't have been able to see otherwise and learn things that you wouldn't have been able to see.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: But um, I think some like really practical advice like that sitting around is um is really good.
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: And what came to mind, I have no idea if this would work, but um, I think that one of the things that's hard is that you know, the expression of um anger and you know, like I wanted to talk about this later, but like how you feel about what life is handing you right now.
• 34:36
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because we don't often talk about our relationship with life.
• 34:40
  SPEAKER_00: We talk about our relationship with ourselves, our relationship with others, but not about like what the hell, this sucks.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I I feel like if there were a way for people to express their, you know, those sort of, you know, what you think of as negative emotions in a positive way, like writing like your your your hate notes instead of your love notes and putting them in a in a paper bag and burning them in the backyard or something.
• 35:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like um, I feel like fire and like breaking things um are should not be off the table.
• 35:16
  SPEAKER_00: Not don't break anything fragile, but like go buy some cheap terracotta pots, get some glasses and a hammer and do some banging.
• 35:26
  SPEAKER_02: Totally do some banging, that's right, banging and clanging.
• 35:31
  SPEAKER_02: The um, but yeah, because part of part of being um contained, excuse me, is is also part of our energy feeling trapped.
• 35:44
  SPEAKER_02: So energy is expression and it won it seeks expression.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_02: And so I totally agree.
• 35:50
  SPEAKER_02: It's go and do something that moves the energy that feels trapped in the body, move it into the physical world, whether it's you know, um uh a hammer in the backyard, whether it's painting, whether it's you know, doing nude cartwheels at midnight, whatever it's gonna be, or screaming into a pillow, um the release and the discharge of of energy is really important.
• 36:13
  SPEAKER_02: And that's why a lot of home environments are incredibly fragile.
• 36:17
  SPEAKER_02: Um, and that the you know, the the the fragility of relationships has really been exposed.
• 36:26
  SPEAKER_02: Because now it's like, well, how do I escape that?
• 36:29
  SPEAKER_02: Or how do I escape those feelings or the the that sort of behavior from someone else at you know at extreme extreme um environments?
• 36:38
  SPEAKER_02: Um but also what adds to our resistance, and this is um what I learned and am still learning, is when you feel resistance, don't try and control the flow of it.
• 36:55
  SPEAKER_02: Allow it to come up and to be purged and say exactly what you mean, exactly what you're feeling in that moment.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_02: You know, be be of honor, uh honoring the self as well as honoring others without losing losing it.
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_02: But at the same time, what seeks expression is actually a new level of truth because the world is not the same.
• 37:17
  SPEAKER_02: Education is not going to be the same.
• 37:20
  SPEAKER_02: I mean, you would know this too, Kay.
• 37:22
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of children are now learning from home, and a lot of parents are now saying, Well, homeschooling is easier than I thought it would be, or it has its challenges, but I can see where it has merit now.
• 37:36
  SPEAKER_02: So there's a whole landscape and the shift in the dynamic of these institutions or the institutional thinking that we've been enrolled in and that we've uh we've accepted and lived by.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_02: So it was a great question, you know, and it it is, I think it's what that question of what does life mean, you know, rather than my relationship with the self or what is it, what does life look like now?
• 38:04
  SPEAKER_02: Because it's it comes down to purpose.
• 38:07
  SPEAKER_02: What's my purpose?
• 38:08
  SPEAKER_02: And what is rising up in us and not having to be pushed down or restricted in its flow is an expression of a new life.
• 38:17
  SPEAKER_02: How do we want it to live?
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_02: Like, you know, if we took out judgment and we just observed what we've always felt a nudge towards, maybe it's living on the land, maybe it's moving out of big cities, maybe it's homeschooling, maybe it's earning less and spending less, but having more quality, a greater quality of life through the enrichment of my environment and the people that I get to choose who I who I like who are in that environment, rather than going to work and not necessarily liking the people that we work with or being on the tube in London or whatever it's going to be and crammed in like sardines.
• 38:52
  SPEAKER_02: So this spell is occulting or occluding people's um the potential that exists for every person.
• 39:02
  SPEAKER_02: And that's where bravery is required.
• 39:04
  SPEAKER_02: It's saying there is there is instinct here coming up in you, and there is knowingness.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_02: Follow the breadcrumbs back, what has been nudging you, not just in the last week or six months, but for the last five, ten years, even more, and follow that because that is the chrysalis of your new life.
• 39:23
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, that's where joy is is uh and balance is going to be found and restored.
• 39:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and I think like the the discomfort that comes from you know being in an intimate relationship for a long period of time, like um it this is like it's like an extreme situation because you're not going out of the house.
• 39:45
  SPEAKER_00: But if you if you like drew it out, it would be like a 30-year marriage, you know, where you get to be like, how do we go deeper when we've already, you know, been together this long?
• 39:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like it it's like really hard, you know.
• 40:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like there's you kind of feel like it's too much to push past that the resistance to that.
• 40:07
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_00: But I wonder.
• 40:09
  SPEAKER_02: And and and again, this is this invitation.
• 40:11
  SPEAKER_02: A lot of marriages or or um relationships will evolve, a lot will devolve first.
• 40:19
  SPEAKER_02: And evolution doesn't necessarily mean that they separate or the divorce, you know, in our cases, but it's it's um it's there is this squeeze of the pumpkin seed to evolve that that every person has access to and is inbuilt in our coding to evolve.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_02: Um, you know, even you know, in your home, actually having each room as a theme from an entertainment perspective, but from a state perspective.
• 40:47
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so you can reorganize if you're spending so much time at home.
• 40:51
  SPEAKER_02: When I walk into this room, this is how I want to feel.
• 40:53
  SPEAKER_02: This is my, you know, you think about the olden days, you've got the drawing room and the dining room, and you've got all these sorts of things.
• 41:00
  SPEAKER_02: Um, they they were themed in uh in a certain way because of what occurred in that room.
• 41:07
  SPEAKER_02: So just food for thought.
• 41:11
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 41:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think that um the one of the positive things also that has occurred is like the tending to the home and the tending to the self because your world has shrunk down to your house.
• 41:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I noticed for me that I wanted to tend my spaces with more care and to keep things, you know, feeling nicer.
• 41:44
  SPEAKER_00: No, you know, I'm not like throwing stuff around and you know, clothes on the floor and whatnot.
• 41:50
  SPEAKER_00: Um, because I wanted to be, if I was gonna be there, I wanted to feel nice, you know.
• 41:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I know a lot of people have taken to, you know, getting projects done around the house and painting and tending the garden and stuff like that.
• 42:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that's been really important part of it.
• 42:11
  SPEAKER_02: Well, it's a yeah, because it's actually shown us what is meaningful.
• 42:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
• 42:16
  SPEAKER_02: This this is what it's showing us, what it's what is really meaningful to us.
• 42:21
  SPEAKER_00: So what what has surprised you about your relationship with yourself?
• 42:32
  SPEAKER_02: Good question.
• 42:33
  SPEAKER_02: And the the chuckle, not sure.
• 42:36
  SPEAKER_02: What surprised me?
• 42:49
  SPEAKER_02: It's the resilience for change, building resilience and being able to literally, like I use the example of being in a motorhome.
• 42:57
  SPEAKER_02: You know, anytime I was doing a call with a new person, they'd be saying, Are you in an aeroplane right now?
• 43:01
  SPEAKER_02: And I'd just joke and say, Yes, I'm over Alaska right now, or I'm over Antarctica, or whatever.
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_02: They go, really?
• 43:06
  SPEAKER_02: I'd say, No, but you can be there in your mind.
• 43:09
  SPEAKER_02: But traveling from one small country town to the next, they all had a different feeling.
• 43:14
  SPEAKER_02: But what was the constant?
• 43:16
  SPEAKER_02: It was me.
• 43:17
  SPEAKER_02: And I think what surprised me is that I chose to do a second month on the road because I listened to myself without delay.
• 43:28
  SPEAKER_02: I didn't, I didn't sit and procrastinate.
• 43:32
  SPEAKER_02: I just sat and observed for a couple of days, and I thought, I'm not ready.
• 43:35
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not ready to come back to to the city.
• 43:39
  SPEAKER_02: I'm not ready to to stop this this journey.
• 43:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I think that was the uh but in saying that I was also knew when I was ready.
• 43:50
  SPEAKER_02: So that's take taking that action and knowing um that it pays off.
• 43:57
  SPEAKER_02: And it pays off in so many different ways.
• 44:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 44:02
  SPEAKER_00: Um I I what surprised me was the range of experiences I had all by myself.
• 44:11
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like um I'm usually a fairly self-observant person, but this like took it to a new level.
• 44:19
  SPEAKER_00: And um, you know, my I had an early moment of real fear and desperation when my daughter was um in London and couldn't really get home easily, and she was sick, and she wasn't gonna be able to go back to her university and trying to get her home and all that just was like super stressful and worrisome.
• 44:47
  SPEAKER_00: So I had like a little bit of fear in the beginning, and I also was sick too.
• 44:52
  SPEAKER_00: I was sick as well.
• 44:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so I had like a little bit of fear in the beginning, and then just like uh everything.
• 44:58
  SPEAKER_00: I have felt everything.
• 45:00
  SPEAKER_00: What I'm what I'm feeling now is um it's almost like um I have I don't want to say it's like a hopelessness, but I I'm like really stuck in the moment of really sort of like taking my hands off the wheel, and I really don't know what to do.
• 45:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just like, you know, kind of not in the life and not out of the life.
• 45:27
  SPEAKER_00: And we talked about this a little bit earlier, and that that has been there's been a lot of things that have surprised me about myself because I'm sort of like a purpose-driven person, but like when all you have is purpose and no people, it's like it becomes a rather empty purpose.
• 45:46
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it's very ethereal.
• 45:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I I I can relate.
• 45:49
  SPEAKER_02: So instead of you know, that super optimism of what I learned, that the deep plunge for me is um, yeah, I I guess the same.
• 45:59
  SPEAKER_02: There was a little bit of of feeling so restricted and under the spell that I surprised myself.
• 46:04
  SPEAKER_02: I said, Matt, you of all the things you have done and that you can observe of the self, you are thick in this fog.
• 46:14
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and at that moment, I I I thought, wow, this is just sit with it, sit and observe the fog, because it's it it was, yeah, it felt debilitating.
• 46:27
  SPEAKER_02: It felt very restrictive.
• 46:29
  SPEAKER_02: It felt like, wow, how are we gonna get out of this?
• 46:31
  SPEAKER_02: Like, what's going to change?
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 46:34
  SPEAKER_02: And so I I seldom have negative thinking, but when I do, when it but that started to arise.
• 46:42
  SPEAKER_02: Started to think, wow, that's gonna stop me from doing so many things.
• 46:45
  SPEAKER_02: So I started to cap my potential, cap my imagination, cap my plans, cap my decision-making process, cap myself, my empowered, my the empowerment of myself, you know, my ability to take stock and and own my own decisions.
• 47:01
  SPEAKER_02: I thought, you little shit, you're giving your energy away.
• 47:05
  SPEAKER_02: You're giving your power away.
• 47:07
  SPEAKER_02: So, you know, but it did.
• 47:10
  SPEAKER_02: I I feel quite flat for a couple of weeks.
• 47:13
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 47:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I I guess it it um it kind of relates to what I was saying earlier about like my relationship with life itself.
• 47:21
  SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like this isn't really the life that I want, you know, like I don't like this.
• 47:28
  SPEAKER_00: And um, so I have like, I'm I'm not in the flow.
• 47:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm very much in resistance to the way things are right now.
• 47:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't like it at all.
• 47:37
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about like um, you know, but and I think about like young people, like people who are young and single.
• 47:45
  SPEAKER_00: And how in the world is that is that working?
• 47:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because it feels like you know, like life is just on hold for those people.
• 47:57
  SPEAKER_00: I want to take a minute to just welcome everybody who's joining us.
• 48:00
  SPEAKER_00: So Asie and Sherry and Sarah and Tara and Curtis and Tammy.
• 48:06
  SPEAKER_00: Welcome everybody.
• 48:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you guys want to talk about any specific areas of relationships or if you have questions, just let us know.
• 48:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um let's see.
• 48:19
  SPEAKER_00: One of the things that you said in your interview was um that when you are stepping onto the path, one of the ways to uh this I feel like it's kind of relevant, um, to keep it from becoming just a random path, lean more into yourself.
• 48:43
  SPEAKER_00: And I would say, like, in for those moms who, and it's not just moms, I mean, everybody's dealing with the difficulty of it, but when you do come up against a situation with the family, it's not about the family.
• 48:58
  SPEAKER_00: And you alluded to this earlier, lean into yourself and figure out what's coming up, why do you feel that way?
• 49:05
  SPEAKER_00: And what is why are you feeling that way?
• 49:09
  SPEAKER_00: Not just why are you feeling that way, but like what is it trying to teach you?
• 49:13
  SPEAKER_00: What's deeper, deeper, deeper layer of that feeling, you know?
• 49:18
  SPEAKER_02: Yes, yeah, and and so yeah, the the we may be um, you know, whether it's uh deterministic or fatalistic, and sort of think, well, this is the yellow brick road I can see before me because I have this many kids, I have this partner, I have no kids, and no partner, or whatever it is, this type of job, this type of income, all these aspects that have defined me and that I've uh allowed to define me.
• 49:44
  SPEAKER_02: And I can see this yellow brick road ahead of me, that that's what I was walking and treading the path consciously and unconsciously, and giving myself to it because that's life.
• 49:55
  SPEAKER_02: That's just what I was doing.
• 49:56
  SPEAKER_02: Now there's big boulders in the road or whatever metaphor you want to use.
• 50:02
  SPEAKER_02: And I feel I'm blocked from that path.
• 50:04
  SPEAKER_02: So now it's when things start to come up, as you alluded to, because we have spent so much time pushing them down and bypassing and filling the gap with uh you know sugary sweets when instead of a really healthy meal, i.e., distraction and and uh things that just give us the hit straight away, we're now faced with, hmm, maybe I don't have enough time for myself.
• 50:32
  SPEAKER_02: Maybe this yellow brick road that I always thought I was on, that I would be surrendering myself, my will, my desires, my happiness, whatever it may be, until a future date, because that's what I'd enrolled myself into.
• 50:46
  SPEAKER_02: And now that the tether uh or cord has been cut or clamped, now I've I'm forced to actually deal with what is it that I really want for my life?
• 50:55
  SPEAKER_02: What is it I really want for myself?
• 50:58
  SPEAKER_02: And for mums especially, you know, that is a really tough question because a lot of guilt comes up.
• 51:04
  SPEAKER_02: But you know, that's at the expense of other people.
• 51:07
  SPEAKER_02: Well, no, not necessarily.
• 51:09
  SPEAKER_02: So it I think boundaries and borders or boundaries and and um and and the like has have had to be required now, you know, because of proximity.
• 51:23
  SPEAKER_02: We we have so much proximity to those people that, you know, in in family, those people that are sort of locked and feel trapped at times in their own house and in their own garden or whatever it may be, that it's become a curse.
• 51:38
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 51:39
  SPEAKER_02: So really, what is it that I'm that I'm coming face to face with?
• 51:44
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, is it that I feel lonely in a house full of people?
• 51:49
  SPEAKER_02: Is it that I feel constantly tired and that I'm I'm not getting fed emotionally or energetically because I've I've been a people pleaser or I've will willingly given all my energy away so that I can be loved.
• 52:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 52:05
  SPEAKER_02: You know, so it actually goes deeper and it's very raw.
• 52:08
  SPEAKER_02: And in bringing it to the surface, it's vulnerable, yeah, um, necessary to grow.
• 52:14
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that brings up such an important, such an opportunity to um to actually learn to express what you do need.
• 52:24
  SPEAKER_00: And that is something that I've never been good at, and I'm sure there's a lot of women who have not been good at that, and that you you can't run to the grocery store to calm down, you can't, you know, go call a friend and have coffee.
• 52:38
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you you have to sit there and and it it's the opportunity for everybody to say, this is what I need.
• 52:48
  SPEAKER_00: And how are we gonna what does everybody need?
• 52:51
  SPEAKER_00: And how are we gonna make this work so that you know we are getting what we need?
• 52:57
  SPEAKER_02: Hmm, yeah, and it it is it's the same when people start to wake up, they're starting to wake up to with new information.
• 53:09
  SPEAKER_02: And in order to find yourself, you need to leave the village.
• 53:13
  SPEAKER_02: No master ever attained greatness in the village.
• 53:18
  SPEAKER_02: They'd let they left the village, they left the known.
• 53:21
  SPEAKER_02: And so you because you can't leave the house, you can't literally leave your physical village, you you must leave the identity of the old self and the environment in which you are to go out and explore.
• 53:35
  SPEAKER_02: And you think, gosh, I'm doing it inside of myself, I'm doing it through my thoughts and awakening new aspects of me.
• 53:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 53:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it's yeah, wow, what would be for a mom to proclaim for a day or a week inside the house that they're not gonna be a mom.
• 53:56
  SPEAKER_00: That they're not a mom.
• 53:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, what would that be like?
• 54:00
  SPEAKER_00: I mean nobody would like that.
• 54:04
  SPEAKER_00: I know that for sure.
• 54:06
  SPEAKER_02: Well, the it's it's funny because until you reach that point, you're probably going to be the first one that wouldn't like it.
• 54:18
  SPEAKER_02: Because of, well, I would get pushback, or they wouldn't do anything anyway, or they would do things wrong, or I'd have to clean up after them, and so there'd be all this because I've constructed the scene, I've actually constructed my own universe, and the game is exactly the way that I've designed designed it.
• 54:37
  SPEAKER_02: So I can maintain control of my environment and I can get things done, and I can so when but when you're there, yeah, that's the enrollment process.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_01: Wow.
• 54:48
  SPEAKER_02: It's saying, I am still, I have an inner child, I have needs.
• 54:53
  SPEAKER_02: And I saw that in my parents.
• 54:55
  SPEAKER_02: You know, I remember growing up and I think, oh, adults, they're they're adults, they just have different needs.
• 55:00
  SPEAKER_02: They're, you know, they're parents.
• 55:02
  SPEAKER_02: What do they need?
• 55:03
  SPEAKER_02: You know, but you don't really think about that.
• 55:05
  SPEAKER_02: But then as you get older and you become a parent, you think, wow, I'm still a person.
• 55:09
  SPEAKER_02: I'm still like my teenage self or my 20s or my 30s.
• 55:13
  SPEAKER_02: There's aspects of me that still live and breathe and function within me.
• 55:18
  SPEAKER_02: They need to be expressed and explored.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 55:21
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:22
  SPEAKER_02: I think it's really healthy.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 55:25
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I want to talk about one last thing before we go.
• 55:29
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm really curious, like, okay, you've got all this time.
• 55:33
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, people are working now, so maybe that they don't have as much time as they did in the beginning, but um like what is a healthy amount of distraction?
• 55:44
  SPEAKER_00: Because you can't be meditating and examining yourself 24 hours a day, minus four hours of sleep.
• 55:52
  SPEAKER_00: You know, like there we have to, we are doers.
• 55:55
  SPEAKER_00: Like, that's what I've learned.
• 55:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I couldn't believe how busy I was in my house doing, you know, like I had to like make my meals, and then I had those like I was doing stuff all the time, and I wasn't really sitting, doing nothing other than, you know, the occasional meditating or doing some yoga, but and and I tried to spend time just sitting and contemplating as much as maybe more than I usually do.
• 56:23
  SPEAKER_00: But it's like we're human beings and we do stuff.
• 56:27
  SPEAKER_00: So, what is the appropriate amount of distraction?
• 56:31
  SPEAKER_00: And what did you do to distract yourself?
• 56:34
  SPEAKER_00: Like, what are your go-to distractions?
• 56:36
  SPEAKER_02: Wow, that's uh that's a good question.
• 56:39
  SPEAKER_02: The appropriate amount, uh obviously it's relative, however, it depends what you define as distraction.
• 56:48
  SPEAKER_02: So for me, it's what's this balance, finding this balance?
• 56:53
  SPEAKER_02: You know, and it doesn't necessarily need to be super structure on each and every day that this is when I wake and this is when I go to sleep, and this is what I how I account for each hour.
• 57:03
  SPEAKER_02: Um, because we we run in rhythms and cycles, you know, our energy and our thought processes from day to day, week to week.
• 57:11
  SPEAKER_02: Um for me, it is about feeling in more into the now.
• 57:18
  SPEAKER_02: If I do not want to do something, I I've learned just not to do it in that moment.
• 57:26
  SPEAKER_02: If I call something a distraction, well, actually I don't anymore.
• 57:30
  SPEAKER_02: So I don't judge something as a distraction.
• 57:33
  SPEAKER_02: I just observe it as being another expression of energy.
• 57:38
  SPEAKER_02: So whether it is something mundane, like going and and uh cooking or uh you know getting something to eat, whether it's watching a movie, um, whether it's going for a walk, or whether it's just being still or reading, having a conversation.
• 57:54
  SPEAKER_02: So variety is going to provide you with more sustenance.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 58:02
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
• 58:03
  SPEAKER_00: What I think the the key is is that if you're doing it consciously, then you're not, it's not a distraction.
• 58:12
  SPEAKER_00: So you can be doing your macrame or your uh wood shop stuff or writing a letter or whatever it may be, cooking, or even watching a movie.
• 58:23
  SPEAKER_00: If you say, like, this is the time that I am allotting to watching a movie so that I'm entertained, you know, moving into it consciously.
• 58:33
  SPEAKER_00: I guess that would be it um conversely, if you're doing it to check out because you don't unconscious distraction and would therefore be characterized as a distraction.
• 58:48
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, yeah.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_02: Good.
• 58:49
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I like that.
• 58:50
  SPEAKER_02: Like it pretty much is because you know, it everything's a choice, but if I'm trying to bypass or or escape my feelings or run away, or you know, people talk about procrastination.
• 59:01
  SPEAKER_02: I I need to get things done.
• 59:03
  SPEAKER_02: Procrastination has nothing to do with not wanting the end, it's that you somehow you don't feel aligned with it because you're not being fed by it.
• 59:13
  SPEAKER_02: So so yeah, I love that.
• 59:16
  SPEAKER_02: Being conscious of your decisions and not judging them, you know.
• 59:20
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 59:21
  SPEAKER_00: Like we're gonna do a puzzle, it's gonna be awesome.
• 59:24
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody was I think yeah, one of my friends was telling me about there, he was describing like puzzle, the the do the doing of a puzzle as like a constant dopamine shot, you know, like every time that little piece goes in, it's like feels so good.
• 59:42
  SPEAKER_00: The eye of the fish meeting it's not about the picture, like nobody cares about the picture.
• 59:48
  SPEAKER_00: You could just look at the box, you know, like there's something else happening there with that with that puzzle.
• 59:53
  SPEAKER_00: I thought that was so funny.
• 59:55
  SPEAKER_02: It's true.
• 59:57
  SPEAKER_02: Because yeah, we we are um expression, expression-filled beings.
• 1:00:02
  SPEAKER_02: We seek to express our energy.
• 1:00:04
  SPEAKER_02: That's why we have a body, that's why we we live in this this dimension.
• 1:00:09
  SPEAKER_02: Um, but yeah, movement of energy is important because we're always creating.
• 1:00:14
  SPEAKER_02: So, what is it you want to create?
• 1:00:16
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, more of the same or not?
• 1:00:21
  SPEAKER_02: Yeah, moment by moment.
• 1:00:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I love that.
• 1:00:25
  SPEAKER_00: Well, that seems like a good time.
• 1:00:26
  SPEAKER_00: We've we're about at an hour now.
• 1:00:29
  SPEAKER_00: So um, I just want to thank everybody who joined us today, and I want to thank you, Matthew, for still kicking and sharing your still kicking with us.
• 1:00:38
  SPEAKER_02: Still kicking for sure.
• 1:00:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's really good to see you, and hopefully, we will see you in the States soon.
• 1:00:45
  SPEAKER_00: If you want to um pop onto the thread after we're done here and just let everybody know where to find you and um all that, I think that would be awesome.
• 1:00:56
  SPEAKER_02: Fantastic.
• 1:00:57
  SPEAKER_02: Thanks, Kenny.
• 1:00:58
  SPEAKER_02: It's you always ask a great question.
• 1:01:00
  SPEAKER_02: I love the the depth that you plunge, it's really good.
• 1:01:04
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, thank you.
• 1:01:05
  SPEAKER_00: And thanks everybody for joining us.
• 1:01:07
  SPEAKER_02: Thank you.
• 1:01:08
  SPEAKER_00: See you later.
• 1:01:09
  SPEAKER_02: See ya.