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Kyle's examples of UNHINGED THINGS that make RELATIONSHIPS BETTER · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Guys, I always love reading stuff about how happy couples
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: can be happier, how successful couples do it. And this
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  Speaker 1: Reddit thread got me so intrigued because it was going
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  Speaker 1: on the unhinged things that basically make your relationship way better.
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  Speaker 2: And I love every single one of these.
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  Speaker 3: Unhinged and it works.
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  Speaker 4: Yeah.
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  Speaker 1: So one of them on the list is occasionally hang
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  Speaker 1: out with a couple who bickers constantly. That way you
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  Speaker 1: come home appreciating each other way more.
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  Speaker 5: Yay!
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  Speaker 4: Actually, that's so valid. There has been so many times
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  Speaker 4: where Kadeem and I have been on a double date
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  Speaker 4: and we have so much to talk about when we
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  Speaker 4: get in the car.
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  Speaker 2: Like, can you believe?
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  Speaker 3: Well, that's good.
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  Speaker 6: I mean, first of all, it's totally entertaining to watch
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  Speaker 6: the other couple bicker. Right. Because they're not really having
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  Speaker 6: a fight. Right. Like, going off on each other.
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  Speaker 4: Like, I have one friend where her boyfriend literally comments on, like,
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  Speaker 4: every girl's body that they walk around. And they're like, oh, yeah, like,
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  Speaker 4: she's so fine.
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  Speaker 2: Her ass is fat.
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  Speaker 4: Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And me and Kadeem are like.
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  Speaker 2: I would never say that.
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  Speaker 6: I would never say that in front of my girl ever.
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  Speaker 1: Then you go home and you're like, wow, their relationship
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  Speaker 1: is so toxic.
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  Speaker 2: We're so fabulous. Aren't we good? We're really good right now.
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  Speaker 1: One of these, I immediately thought of you and Blake
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  Speaker 1: because you guys totally do this. It is have code
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  Speaker 1: words when one person needs to tap out of a
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  Speaker 1: social situation.
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  Speaker 2: And you, for the longest time, have done, it's time
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  Speaker 2: to one, two, six.
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  Speaker 3: One, two, six.
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  Speaker 7: But that's the funny, because I'm so used to it.
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  Speaker 7: I was trying to participate and didn't think I had
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  Speaker 7: anything unhinged. The problem with me and one, two, six
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  Speaker 7: is that's when I want to leave. And then it
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  Speaker 7: takes her 45 minutes to.
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  Speaker 5: One, two, six.
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  Speaker 2: But you have that code word. She knows what that means.
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  Speaker 2: And you may be sitting with four or five other
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  Speaker 2: people and you say.
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  Speaker 8: Hey, one, two, six.
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  Speaker 2: And they're like, I don't know. Is John Jay talking
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  Speaker 2: about a time or a number? But she knows.
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  Speaker 7: See, I thought you were going with, and we've had
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  Speaker 7: people call up on the show before. They've been in
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  Speaker 7: a relationship for a long time, like a husband and wife.
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  Speaker 7: And then they have a third woman on the show.
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  Speaker 7: Like they all live together.
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  Speaker 2: I'm sure that was somewhere on here.
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  Speaker 7: Like that's unhinged and it works. Like they've been living together,
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  Speaker 7: three people for five years.
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  Speaker 2: I mean, that could kind of fall under this one.
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  Speaker 1: Give each other permission to do some things completely separately.
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  Speaker 3: Sexual or non-sexual or both?
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  Speaker 2: It didn't say. So I'm saying that could fall under.
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  Speaker 1: That unhinged relationship hat.
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  Speaker 7: Like, remember Bill Gates with his wife for a long time?
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  Speaker 7: She had a deal with him where he could go away.
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  Speaker 3: For like a week.
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, once a year. With somebody. Once a year.
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  Speaker 3: Oh my gosh.
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  Speaker 4: That's like, you have to have some confidence to be
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  Speaker 4: able to like let your man come back to you
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  Speaker 4: like that.
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  Speaker 6: She divorced him for that reason too.
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  Speaker 3: After 20 years.
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  Speaker 5: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: Well, I thought she divorced him for other reasons too, right?
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  Speaker 6: I would imagine.
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  Speaker 3: But I mean, that worked for them for 20 years
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  Speaker 3: and it did work. You know what?
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  Speaker 7: Hey, Jessa, what's the relationship hack that's unhinged that worked
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  Speaker 7: for you?
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  Speaker 8: My boyfriend and I have an argument parking lot.
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  Speaker 2: An argument parking lot, which means?
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  Speaker 8: So if one of us brings up something during a
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  Speaker 8: fight that's like completely unrelated to what we're like actually
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  Speaker 8: arguing about, then we just have to like write it
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  Speaker 8: on a piece of paper and like throw it in
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  Speaker 8: the bowl. And then we feel like, finish the OG
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  Speaker 8: argument before we're allowed to like get into whatever we threw.
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  Speaker 5: In the bowl.
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  Speaker 6: That makes sense. I thought you meant when you had
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  Speaker 6: a big fight, you'd pull over like a Denny's and sit.
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  Speaker 2: In the parking lot.
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  Speaker 3: That's how I still understand it. I don't understand what
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  Speaker 3: she said. I don't understand what you said. Can you
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  Speaker 3: say it again?
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  Speaker 8: So basically if we're like having a fight and we
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  Speaker 8: like start to bring in things that are unrelated. So
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  Speaker 8: like the bowl is full of things that feel like
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  Speaker 8: your mom and like the trip we took in 2019
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  Speaker 8: and stuff like that. Like if we start bringing in
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  Speaker 8: things that aren't like directly related to what we're talking about,
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  Speaker 8: we have to like stop, write it down, put it
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  Speaker 8: in the bowl and like continue with the original argument
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  Speaker 8: and get through that before we touch anything else.
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  Speaker 6: Oh, that's a lot. They should call it an argument bowl,
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  Speaker 6: not an argument parking lot.
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  Speaker 4: So if you're arguing with your boyfriend and he says
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  Speaker 4: something that's like unrelated, do you just scream at him
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  Speaker 4: like parking lot bowl?
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  Speaker 8: Literally.
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  Speaker 6: Literally.
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  Speaker 5: Oh.
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  Speaker 3: Okay. All right, Jessa. Thanks for calling in. That is
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  Speaker 3: definitely different. That's different. Kira, you've got a relationship hack
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  Speaker 3: that works?
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  Speaker 6: Yeah, I do.
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  Speaker 5: So my boyfriend and I have a group chat with
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  Speaker 5: our two best friends that we call Relationship Court. And
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  Speaker 5: if we're having, you know, stupid disagreement and we just
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  Speaker 5: cannot agree on who's being unreasonable, We will submit evidence
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  Speaker 5: to the group chat, like screenshots, timelines, whatever, to prove
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  Speaker 5: our case.
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  Speaker 2: And our friends are like the jury. They decide.
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  Speaker 5: And honestly, the embarrassing part is we've actually.
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  Speaker 2: Followed their verdicts.
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  Speaker 5: Oh, that's like messy.
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  Speaker 2: You don't really trust your friends.
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  Speaker 4: Adding people into your relationship, like no matter big or
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  Speaker 4: small the issue.
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  Speaker 2: I don't know if I could do that.
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  Speaker 6: Well, you could be on the judge and jury, though.
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  Speaker 3: Would you?
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  Speaker 4: Oh, I would totally love to be the jury.
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  Speaker 6: I think that we should on this John Jane Rich
• 5:00
  Speaker 6: radio show, we should do relationship court. So you're either
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  Speaker 6: married or you're with somebody and you're having a disagreement
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  Speaker 6: with them. You bring us your case. Each person gets
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  Speaker 6: like 30 seconds to plead their case. And then we
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  Speaker 6: will rule. Then you have to live your life that way.
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  Speaker 6: I like it. So if you're having a disagreement, it
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  Speaker 6: could be a family member, somebody you love. Bring it
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  Speaker 6: to our relationship court.
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  Speaker 1: So on the Reddit thread for the unhinged relationship hacks,
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  Speaker 1: there were a lot having to do with arguments. So
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  Speaker 1: like one of them, this couple said we actually use
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  Speaker 1: toddler level communication techniques when an argument starts to get ridiculous.
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  Speaker 5: So.
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  Speaker 2: Like full on start using like toddler talk.
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  Speaker 6: And they.
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  Speaker 2: Say that works.
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  Speaker 1: Because it kind of like diffuses the situation because you
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  Speaker 1: can't really take each other that seriously when you're talking
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  Speaker 1: like toddlers.
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  Speaker 6: Oh, that would make me so mad.
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  Speaker 1: Well, I feel like another like normal argument in relationships
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  Speaker 1: is like, what are we going to eat for dinner
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  Speaker 1: or where are we going to go out to eat?
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  Speaker 1: And so this one couple says, we literally have, like
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  Speaker 1: we each get to pitch wherever we want to go,
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  Speaker 1: but we have a constant like backup, I guess, set
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  Speaker 1: restaurant that no matter what, if we can't come to
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  Speaker 1: a decision, like you want to go to Applebee's, I
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  Speaker 1: want to go to Chili's, but like neither one of
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  Speaker 1: us can decide, like, I want my baby back ribs.
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  Speaker 2: You want your Applebee's, whatever. And then they, in their
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  Speaker 2: back of their mind.
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  Speaker 1: Go, okay, well, I guess we're going to talk about,
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  Speaker 1: cause we can't figure it out. Like you have to
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  Speaker 1: have that backup thing. And then the last one was like,
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  Speaker 1: turn boring stories into a mental gratitude exercise and instead
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  Speaker 1: of tuning your partner out. So when your partner may
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  Speaker 1: eventually come to you with a story and you're like,
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  Speaker 1: I don't know why I have to sit through this story.
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  Speaker 1: This one's kind of for you, John Jay, because you
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  Speaker 1: think every story is boring. So instead of tuning out
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  Speaker 1: and starting to think of other things, Rich, you daydream
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  Speaker 1: a lot.
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  Speaker 2: This might happen to you too.
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  Speaker 1: Instead of doing that, you turn it into a mental
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  Speaker 1: like gratitude exercise where you don't, you're still listening to them.
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  Speaker 1: But in, while they're speaking, you think of all the
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  Speaker 1: things that you're grateful for while they're speaking. Like you're
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  Speaker 1: grateful for them for.
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  Speaker 6: That's good.
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  Speaker 1: Like John Jay Blake may come to you and tell
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  Speaker 1: you a story and you're like, I don't know these people.
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  Speaker 2: I don't care.
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  Speaker 1: But instead of like thinking those negative thoughts, you turn
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  Speaker 1: it into, man, I just really appreciate the fact that
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  Speaker 1: she wants to come tell me this story. I appreciate
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  Speaker 1: all she does for me.
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  Speaker 2: Like, look at this. She did the dishes over there.
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  Speaker 5: You know what I mean?
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  Speaker 3: And then she goes, so what do you think? I go,
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  Speaker 3: thanks for doing the dishes.
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  Speaker 2: I'm so grateful. I wasn't listening to one thing you said,
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  Speaker 2: but I'm.
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  Speaker 6: So grateful you did the dishes.
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  Speaker 4: If Kadeem did that, he'd be like, I'm so thankful
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  Speaker 4: you have told me this story for the fifth time.
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  Speaker 6: I really appreciate it. You could do the Taylor Swift thing.
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  Speaker 6: What does she say? Every now and then she'll stop
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  Speaker 6: and go, damn, that's crazy.
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  Speaker 3: Kira, thanks for calling in.
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  Speaker 8: You're welcome.