Latest / Tea Time w/Amie & Bev / Episode #333: Making a Mistake Doesn’t Make You a Mistake

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Episode #333: Making a Mistake Doesn’t Make You a Mistake · Tea Time w/Amie & Bev

• 0:02
  Speaker 1: Hi, everybody. Welcome to Tea Time with Amy and Bev. Hello, hello.
• 0:06
  Speaker 1: We're back. Here he is.
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: Here he.
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: Is. Human error. Shall we talk about human error?
• 0:16
  Speaker 2: Okay. Perceived. Okay.
• 0:20
  Speaker 1: Gotcha. Can we just agree that we're human? And can
• 0:27
  Speaker 1: we just agree that we are not perfect? And can
• 0:30
  Speaker 1: we just agree that... We are going to make mistakes. Now,
• 0:37
  Speaker 1: when I say mistakes, I mean, it was not intentional.
• 0:43
  Speaker 1: It was not malicious. It was not vindictive. It was
• 0:48
  Speaker 1: a mistake. It was an error that was made. Okay.
• 0:54
  Speaker 1: And then we go into perspective from those errors or mistakes.
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: So from one perspective, it is, oh my gosh, I
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: didn't mean to do that. I'm so sorry. Let me
• 1:07
  Speaker 1: fix it. Let's take care of it. Get it done.
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: From another person's perspective would be, I'm always fighting for
• 1:16
  Speaker 1: what I need. I've had the worst day ever. Nothing's
• 1:20
  Speaker 1: going right. The world is against me. And so they're
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: seeing from a different perspective. So then the... The person
• 1:30
  Speaker 1: who genuinely just made a mistake unintentionally feels attacked by
• 1:39
  Speaker 1: the words of the other person. And that could then
• 1:43
  Speaker 1: explode into something that could carry on for weeks, months,
• 1:50
  Speaker 1: and years of calling each other names or battling it
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: out on social media or, you know, proving each other's wrong. And,
• 2:00
  Speaker 1: you know, cause I'm right. Like it could just explode
• 2:04
  Speaker 1: into this incredibly uncomfortable, unhealthy experience over a tiny mistake. And,
• 2:12
  Speaker 1: and what one person may perceive as a tiny mistake,
• 2:15
  Speaker 1: the other one has seen a volcano erupt. So this
• 2:20
  Speaker 1: is something I'm in the middle of right now. I
• 2:23
  Speaker 1: made a mistake. It was just a mistake. But the
• 2:28
  Speaker 1: other person, and I don't even really know her. I'll
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: just be real. I don't even really know her. I
• 2:34
  Speaker 1: know a little bit about her. And the little bit
• 2:38
  Speaker 1: I've heard is not very positive. Let's put it that way.
• 2:43
  Speaker 1: So to me, that just means life for her has
• 2:45
  Speaker 1: been difficult. And she has chosen not to do anything
• 2:49
  Speaker 1: different about her life being or feeling or seeming difficult.
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: different perspectives. If I was the person I was before,
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: this could get really ugly really fast. But because I
• 3:04
  Speaker 1: understand a lot about our way of being, the way
• 3:09
  Speaker 1: we think, that our childhood affects us in ways, in
• 3:13
  Speaker 1: uncomfortable ways as adults, that we're still operating from a
• 3:25
  Speaker 1: had a journey of seeing life differently and recognizing that
• 3:30
  Speaker 1: how we react or respond to things is how, uh,
• 3:34
  Speaker 1: other people are going to treat you and react or
• 3:37
  Speaker 1: respond to you. Um, so to, for me to just
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: be like, all right, we corrected it. I also said,
• 3:45
  Speaker 1: this is totally my fault. I totally take responsibility for this.
• 3:49
  Speaker 1: And it was, it was not intentional by no means. Um,
• 3:54
  Speaker 1: And to face that person to apologize. And I looked
• 4:01
  Speaker 1: for them three times the other night and couldn't find them.
• 4:06
  Speaker 1: I wasn't going to go out of my way scouring
• 4:08
  Speaker 1: this space looking for them, but I knew our paths
• 4:13
  Speaker 1: will cross again soon. But to face it and say, hey,
• 4:19
  Speaker 1: I'm sorry this happened and apologize for my what, for
• 4:24
  Speaker 1: the part that I played. And that's my responsibility. Now,
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: it is not my responsibility on how they respond or
• 4:35
  Speaker 1: react to it. And this is where the learning and
• 4:40
  Speaker 1: the growth is within myself. Because years ago, I took
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: my to even if even if I knew I did it,
• 4:47
  Speaker 1: and I knew that I was in the wrong. And
• 4:50
  Speaker 1: even though if it got remedied, I would avoid that
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: person by all costs. Like I don't want nothing to
• 4:56
  Speaker 1: do with them. They're mad. But that night I was
• 5:00
  Speaker 1: keeping my eyes open for them so I could approach
• 5:03
  Speaker 1: them and say, hey, I apologize that happened. And I
• 5:07
  Speaker 1: still have the intention of doing that. years ago no
• 5:13
  Speaker 1: way no how I want no part of it I'm
• 5:16
  Speaker 1: gonna hide if I see them coming I'm going the
• 5:19
  Speaker 1: opposite direction like but I've grown enough in myself to
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: be like no let's just face this and I'll do
• 5:25
  Speaker 1: my part and whatever they however they perceive it is
• 5:29
  Speaker 1: on them that's not on me so um this is
• 5:34
  Speaker 1: this is something that learning and growing and moving through
• 5:38
  Speaker 1: right now and so The other part of that that
• 5:41
  Speaker 1: I want to add is this happened on a Friday night.
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: And right now is Sunday. So Saturday, I would catch
• 5:54
  Speaker 1: myself thinking about it and mulling it in my head.
• 5:58
  Speaker 1: And then I'd be like, wait, there's nothing I can
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: do about this right now. So let me think about
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: something else that's more fun, right? I can have more
• 6:08
  Speaker 1: fun with my thoughts than spending my weekend or my
• 6:11
  Speaker 1: day or my moment thinking about this. And caught myself
• 6:15
  Speaker 1: this morning thinking about it. I'm like, no, let me
• 6:19
  Speaker 1: think about something that's more fun and more exciting to
• 6:21
  Speaker 1: me than that. Because again, there's nothing I can do
• 6:25
  Speaker 1: about it right now. I've done what I could until
• 6:28
  Speaker 1: we have a conversation, whether it's a conversation or not,
• 6:32
  Speaker 1: or she just receives my words and doesn't even respond.
• 6:35
  Speaker 1: Doesn't matter to me. But there's nothing I can do
• 6:38
  Speaker 1: about it right now. So there's no point of me
• 6:40
  Speaker 1: just worrying about it and being mad at myself or,
• 6:44
  Speaker 1: oh my God, what's everybody thinking about me? Or I
• 6:48
  Speaker 1: can't believe that I let that happen, beating myself up.
• 6:51
  Speaker 1: There's no point of it because it's not going to
• 6:54
  Speaker 1: do anything. It's not going to solve any problems. What
• 6:58
  Speaker 1: did I do? I need to, I learned from it
• 7:00
  Speaker 1: by saying, okay, I made the mistake. I just need
• 7:04
  Speaker 1: to be a little bit more diligent, paying attention. moving forward.
• 7:09
  Speaker 1: That's my lesson learned in that aspect. Lesson learned, just
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: apologize and say, hey, I'm super sorry this happened. Lesson
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: learned for me to step up and use my voice
• 7:22
  Speaker 1: and face what I did to this person instead of
• 7:29
  Speaker 1: avoiding them, right? So each of those things is growth
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: within myself. And I totally own it. And actually I'm
• 7:38
  Speaker 1: like kind of excited about it because I'm kind of
• 7:41
  Speaker 1: excited to say, you know, I did my not say
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: it to them, but to me, I did my part
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: and look how brave and courageous and confident I was
• 7:50
  Speaker 1: doing it. And if they come back at me, how
• 7:55
  Speaker 1: am I going to respond to react to it? Don't know.
• 7:57
  Speaker 1: We'll see. And then I'm going to learn and grow
• 7:59
  Speaker 1: from that. Right. Right. But each of it is an
• 8:03
  Speaker 1: opportunity for me to learn and grow within myself. It's
• 8:06
  Speaker 1: not to be that person to bow down or please
• 8:10
  Speaker 1: or fix whatever the other person's going through or whatever
• 8:15
  Speaker 1: their challenges are. That's for them. That's their responsibility, not mine.
• 8:21
  Speaker 1: My responsibility is how well am I going to be
• 8:24
  Speaker 1: better within myself when it comes to things like this?
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: Years ago, oh my gosh. I would have held on
• 8:32
  Speaker 1: to this for weeks, months. Like the story would have
• 8:37
  Speaker 1: just kept coming in my head. Not now, sister. Not today.
• 8:43
  Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I got better. I got more fun
• 8:47
  Speaker 1: things to think about than that. So it doesn't matter
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: how much you worry about something or how much you
• 8:55
  Speaker 1: roll it around in your head. It's not going to
• 8:59
  Speaker 1: fix or change anything. Unless you fix or change yourself.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: And you're not broken. You're just operating from a system
• 9:08
  Speaker 1: that you've been operating from for a long time. And
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: if you choose, you can learn to use a different
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: process or a different system. But you got to make
• 9:17
  Speaker 1: those changes. And that's what I'm doing with myself. Yep.
• 9:21
  Speaker 2: You check your gauges.
• 9:23
  Speaker 3: Your gauges let you know this is what's going on.
• 9:25
  Speaker 3: This also lets you know where you're at right now,
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: which is phenomenal. That's a very freeing place to be in.
• 9:31
  Speaker 2: It really is. It's interesting that you.
• 9:33
  Speaker 3: Brought up, I wrote down patterns in our last thing
• 9:35
  Speaker 3: because it's something that I experienced yesterday. Patterns and being
• 9:40
  Speaker 3: a child, right? So since being a child, I have
• 9:43
  Speaker 3: always watched all the patterns around me. And I didn't
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: realize I had been doing that until recently because then
• 9:49
  Speaker 3: I operate from those patterns. And then if somebody doesn't operate,
• 9:52
  Speaker 3: if someone, if a partner or a coworker or anybody
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: operates out of that pattern, it's like, Oh my God,
• 10:01
  Speaker 3: did I do something wrong?
• 10:02
  Speaker 2: Did I piss them off?
• 10:04
  Speaker 3: Are they leaving me? Are they, do they not want
• 10:06
  Speaker 3: to be my friend anymore? Like all these things go
• 10:08
  Speaker 3: through because of those old patterns. So for me, it's just,
• 10:12
  Speaker 3: it's letting go of the patterns. It's letting not, I'm, I'm,
• 10:16
  Speaker 3: And I don't know what that all looks like right yet, guys.
• 10:18
  Speaker 3: I'm in the process of it. But it's not operating
• 10:22
  Speaker 3: from the patterns anymore. It's not looking to see, oh, well,
• 10:25
  Speaker 3: they didn't say this and they didn't do this. It's
• 10:28
  Speaker 3: letting go of all that stuff. All these old patterns
• 10:31
  Speaker 3: are patterns that are from our freaking childhood, watching it
• 10:34
  Speaker 3: because that was how you navigated so that you didn't
• 10:37
  Speaker 3: get hurt or so that you knew how to walk
• 10:40
  Speaker 3: into the house and not get killed by the mountain
• 10:43
  Speaker 3: lion that's sitting across the room from you. It's like
• 10:45
  Speaker 3: all these things. of the way that I operated my
• 10:50
  Speaker 3: whole freaking life. And then I thought, well, is it
• 10:51
  Speaker 3: like a tourist thing? Well, I don't think it's just
• 10:54
  Speaker 3: a tourist thing. I think it's a human thing. It's
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: part of the, because we navigate that way through our
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: lives to keep ourselves safe. And it's like, I am safe.
• 11:06
  Speaker 3: I'm safe no matter what. You're safe no matter what.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: You're safe enough to be able to go tell this
• 11:12
  Speaker 3: person that you're sorry. I didn't feel that kind of
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: safety when I was a kid. And I would have
• 11:17
  Speaker 3: reacted the same way that you would. I would have
• 11:18
  Speaker 3: even became defensive about my mistake. Well, if this didn't
• 11:24
  Speaker 3: happen and this didn't happen, then this probably wouldn't have happened.
• 11:28
  Speaker 3: So not taking claim to how I had shown up
• 11:33
  Speaker 3: in that experience.
• 11:35
  Speaker 2: But now I look at things differently. I'm sorry. Or
• 11:38
  Speaker 2: I'll say, well, thanks for being patient with me or whatever. Because.
• 11:44
  Speaker 3: We are all learning and we're all walking through this.
• 11:47
  Speaker 2: And you brought up this stuff. To me, it's patterns.
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: And it's like we're all having these parallel experiences. There's
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: all these things that are happening around us. I'm telling
• 11:57
  Speaker 3: my daughter about telling her, she's like, mommy, so I'm
• 12:00
  Speaker 3: kind of down today. And then she started telling me something.
• 12:03
  Speaker 3: And then she's telling me the same freaking pattern. Like
• 12:06
  Speaker 3: she's looking at things that I'm like, that's patterns. That's
• 12:09
  Speaker 3: learned patterns learned from me. And we don't have to
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: vocalize those patterns. It's we, they learn with whatever we,
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: however we show up, whatever we're doing, however we operate
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: through a situation, a trauma or in any experience, they're learning,
• 12:27
  Speaker 3: our kids are learning that just by how we operate
• 12:31
  Speaker 3: through it.
• 12:31
  Speaker 2: And that's how they learn how to operate through it.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: So then it's like, I kind of got a little
• 12:35
  Speaker 3: bit of emotional feeling because it's like, this is why
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: it's so very important for me, from my.
• 12:41
  Speaker 2: Perspective, to do the work, to look at these things,
• 12:45
  Speaker 2: to drop the patterns. Because if I.
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: Can't do it, then I put the weight of that burden,
• 12:52
  Speaker 3: so to speak, on my kids. If I'm processing all
• 12:55
  Speaker 3: the stuff of my ancestors, I'd rather just process it
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: instead of my kids having to have that experience.
• 13:02
  Speaker 2: But they're on their own. I already raised them. They're
• 13:05
  Speaker 2: on their own. They got to figure their shit out.
• 13:08
  Speaker 3: I've done what I can do, but I do know
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: that when I do the healing for myself and when
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: I let go of the stuff, it does have an
• 13:13
  Speaker 3: effect on them. And that's where the weight of that,
• 13:17
  Speaker 3: I guess a little bit of the weight of that
• 13:19
  Speaker 3: is on my shoulders, I feel, because if I can
• 13:21
  Speaker 3: process it, then it's not something that's necessary for them
• 13:23
  Speaker 3: to process. And then they can go process their own shit.
• 13:26
  Speaker 3: You know, instead of having to process all the family stuff,
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: all the family stuff, just like we talked in the
• 13:33
  Speaker 3: last video, when you cut the hair off, a long
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: hair like that, it's like there's such, there's so many
• 13:38
  Speaker 3: experiences that happened in that one hair, in that one
• 13:41
  Speaker 3: single hair. The whole length of it could be your
• 13:45
  Speaker 3: whole lifetime. Some people don't, you know, not the whole lifetime.
• 13:49
  Speaker 3: I think people usually get their hair trimmed at some
• 13:51
  Speaker 3: point or another, but there's a whole lot of experience
• 13:54
  Speaker 3: that you still carry along with you.
• 13:56
  Speaker 2: So it's just learning how to let go of it.
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: And it's in any way, shape or form that feels
• 14:01
  Speaker 3: good for yourself or any way that you're guided.
• 14:04
  Speaker 2: To do so.
• 14:04
  Speaker 3: Because it comes up in so many different ways. There's
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: so many different ways to do it. For me right now,
• 14:10
  Speaker 3: it's just like learning to be in the now. taking
• 14:13
  Speaker 3: the breath, humming, singing, writing, going for a walk, talking
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: out loud, cussing. I mean, I have different, I'm not,
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: I'm not a freaking angel. Well, I am, but that's.
• 14:27
  Speaker 2: A different story.
• 14:28
  Speaker 1: That's another story.
• 14:29
  Speaker 2: I just don't.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: Operate on the angel frequency at all times. That's all
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: I can say.
• 14:33
  Speaker 1: That would be cool though.
• 14:41
  Speaker 3: But it makes life fun, right? Life is supposed to
• 14:43
  Speaker 3: be fun. It's not supposed to be all this heaviness
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: all the time. And I grew up with that heaviness.
• 14:46
  Speaker 3: I grew up with the heaviness from family members. I
• 14:50
  Speaker 3: grew up with the heaviness of thinking that's the way
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: you're supposed to be. And it's like, how do you
• 14:53
  Speaker 3: know how to be? You kind of, I'm feeling my
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: way through it. And the experiences are showing up like, okay,
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: my days could be like this. Just like I sent
• 15:03
  Speaker 3: you a message just recently. I recognized that I was
• 15:07
  Speaker 3: basically getting into the roller coaster ride. not knowing where
• 15:11
  Speaker 3: it was going to take me and letting it take
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: me wherever it wanted to take me while I'm flailing about.
• 15:17
  Speaker 3: And then I realized, when did I stop setting my intentions?
• 15:23
  Speaker 3: When did I stop appreciating? When you go to bed
• 15:27
  Speaker 3: at night, we have a lot to appreciate. Even if
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: you had a shitty day, there's something to appreciate in there.
• 15:32
  Speaker 3: There's something. Thank God I have this bed. Thank God
• 15:37
  Speaker 3: I had toothpaste to brush my teeth with this morning.
• 15:39
  Speaker 3: Thank God I have the teeth to brush. So I
• 15:42
  Speaker 3: have to have something to use the toothpaste on in
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: the first place.
• 15:46
  Speaker 2: Thank God. But then being thinking about, man, today. So
• 15:49
  Speaker 2: then it's like when you think about it, then it's
• 15:51
  Speaker 2: like today was a great day.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: Tomorrow is going to even be a better day. And
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: I wasn't setting myself up that way. I was just
• 15:57
  Speaker 3: like willy nilly getting into whatever ride, you know, like
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: I'm just thinking about going to like Manhattan Island and
• 16:03
  Speaker 3: going on their oldest freaking ride they ever had. And
• 16:06
  Speaker 3: nobody's repaired it. And I'm going to go on and
• 16:08
  Speaker 3: just see how it goes. Let's just see how it goes, guys.
• 16:10
  Speaker 1: You know?
• 16:11
  Speaker 2: Let's just see. We might fly off, but we might not.
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: And it's like, it doesn't have to be that way.
• 16:17
  Speaker 2: It's setting your intentions. Like today was a great day.
• 16:20
  Speaker 2: It's writing, sitting.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: And I, and I've done this recently too. I sat
• 16:23
  Speaker 3: and wrote down a romantic relationship interaction. And then it
• 16:28
  Speaker 3: happened within the day. We don't realize how powerful we are.
• 16:37
  Speaker 2: We have been going this.
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: I have been going this journey willy nilly. jumping on
• 16:41
  Speaker 3: whatever ride there was and seeing where it took me
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: and then wondering why I'm not happy at the end
• 16:46
  Speaker 3: of that. Cause, and it's not because of, well, partially
• 16:49
  Speaker 3: probably is a control thing, but it's not because it's like,
• 16:52
  Speaker 3: I wasn't, I wasn't setting myself up.
• 16:57
  Speaker 2: The way that I wanted to set myself up. I
• 16:59
  Speaker 2: was setting myself up.
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: For failure, setting myself up at, at the energy of
• 17:05
  Speaker 3: others and And that's not the way for me to
• 17:08
  Speaker 3: set myself up.
• 17:09
  Speaker 2: The way to set myself up is to be in
• 17:11
  Speaker 2: my energy and have an idea.
• 17:13
  Speaker 3: Man, if today was this good, I cannot even imagine
• 17:17
  Speaker 3: what tomorrow can look like. And it gets better and better.
• 17:21
  Speaker 3: Not saying that I haven't fallen off of that path
• 17:23
  Speaker 3: a few times.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: I have.
• 17:24
  Speaker 3: But it's for me to recognize, hey, I just went
• 17:27
  Speaker 3: off the side of the road a little bit. I
• 17:29
  Speaker 3: can swerve back onto the road. Or I can go
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: kind of ease back onto the road. however I decide
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: to do it.
• 17:36
  Speaker 1: So I'm going to apply that, um, to what I,
• 17:41
  Speaker 1: what we started out with this, um, conversation is I could,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: I could think about that experience and then I could
• 17:49
  Speaker 1: think about how defensive I could be in that conversation.
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: I could think about how, um, I am going to
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: get my point across is what I say to them
• 18:01
  Speaker 1: in a way where they can, um, hear me. And hopefully, right,
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: depending on how I approach the situation, I could think
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: about how they may react to me, and then it
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: becomes an argument. And then what would I say, like
• 18:19
  Speaker 1: the what ifs? What if they say this, and I'm
• 18:21
  Speaker 1: going to say that? And what if this and then
• 18:23
  Speaker 1: I'm going to do that, right? Instead of doing that,
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: because that, again, is going down the path of worry,
• 18:30
  Speaker 1: that Now I need to worry about what their reaction
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: is going to be. And so I can be ready
• 18:38
  Speaker 1: for that. But what if I just set my intentions
• 18:40
  Speaker 1: like Bev's talking about? What if I set my intentions
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: of it's going to be a great conversation. We're going
• 18:45
  Speaker 1: to be it's going to be a relaxed conversation. It's
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: going to be received well. There's going to be ease
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: in my words, in my apology and a couple points
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: that I want to make about the experience. There's going
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: to be, it's going to be well-received and we're going
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: to have a conversation and there's going to be understanding
• 19:09
  Speaker 1: and empathy or compassion around it. Like I can have
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: different perspectives of this apology and whatever way I decide
• 19:22
  Speaker 1: to think about the outcome of it is what's going
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: to create my physical response to So if I am
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: worried about the interaction, I'm going to be stressed until
• 19:33
  Speaker 1: that interaction happens and then probably be stressed afterwards. If
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: I focus on setting intention that it's going to go well,
• 19:40
  Speaker 1: we're going to have a great conversation, it's going to
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: be calm and easy, then I can feel that in
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: my body now and move into the situation with that
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: same sense of calmness. So setting intentions is huge, you know,
• 19:57
  Speaker 1: whether it's setting your intention for the day, for the moment,
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: for conversation, for your finances, for relationships, your health, like
• 20:06
  Speaker 1: We can use it for so many things. I talk
• 20:11
  Speaker 1: about this in classes that I teach. And I saw
• 20:15
  Speaker 1: somebody not too long ago and they're like, since I
• 20:20
  Speaker 1: took your class and learned about that, I get the
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: best parking spots at Walmart every single time. I'm like,
• 20:25
  Speaker 1: all right, good. So setting our intentions is very powerful.
• 20:33
  Speaker 2: It really is. It's exciting.
• 20:38
  Speaker 1: Well, it puts a power in our hands. It puts
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: power within ourselves instead of an expectation on others.
• 20:48
  Speaker 3: And as you were saying that whole, you could set
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: your intention this way. I felt joy flood me and
• 20:55
  Speaker 3: my eyes watered because that is exactly how it could go.
• 20:59
  Speaker 3: This person may, this whole situation happened for a reason.
• 21:04
  Speaker 3: We could call it a mistake, but I don't believe it.
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: I think that everything happens for a reason. And so
• 21:09
  Speaker 3: maybe this person now gets to be seen and gets
• 21:11
  Speaker 3: to be heard and gets to be recognized and it's
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: not being swept under the rug. Finally, this person's getting
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: something that they hadn't gotten probably from anybody else. And
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: then from such a loving energy as yours to them,
• 21:27
  Speaker 3: because it will be genuine and it.
• 21:29
  Speaker 2: Will be felt.
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: And that's the whole difference between telling your waitress, thank you,
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: and then putting your hand on.
• 21:35
  Speaker 2: Your heart and thinking. thank you. I appreciate you so much.
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: And even telling the person, but even if you don't
• 21:41
  Speaker 3: tell them to their face, that energy is a felt thing.
• 21:45
  Speaker 2: Energy is being underestimated.
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: If you were in that space of worry, you go
• 21:50
  Speaker 3: into that, that person that has had their experiences is
• 21:54
  Speaker 3: going to receive that worry. However, that has felt to
• 21:57
  Speaker 3: them and their experience. It could come across as anger.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: It could come across as, oh, here we go again.
• 22:02
  Speaker 3: I'm not doing something right. Or, It doesn't matter because
• 22:05
  Speaker 3: that's the thing we all feel each other, whether we
• 22:08
  Speaker 3: know it or not. And sometimes we operate off of
• 22:11
  Speaker 3: that because I had done it my whole life, but
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: it's not necessary. We don't have to operate from the
• 22:16
  Speaker 3: space of where their energy is. And that's another conversation
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: that I had yesterday is just recognizing how we minimize
• 22:23
  Speaker 3: ourselves to a space. Now, if you were to minimize yourself,
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: you would not be able to have this different perspective
• 22:32
  Speaker 3: or create this whole new vision.
• 22:34
  Speaker 2: Of how things could happen.
• 22:35
  Speaker 3: You're not, you're actually opened up and allowing more to
• 22:38
  Speaker 3: possibly come through because that's not something that we would
• 22:41
  Speaker 3: have ever even thought about 15 years ago, 20 years ago.
• 22:45
  Speaker 2: Hell no. Now, if we had a shot of tequila,
• 22:48
  Speaker 2: the conversation might be a little bit different. Hey, so
• 22:51
  Speaker 2: I fucked up.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: Yeah, you'll get over it. I mean, whatever, whatever the conversation,
• 22:56
  Speaker 3: but it wouldn't have been, it wouldn't be where it
• 22:58
  Speaker 3: is now, where it is from a space of that
• 23:01
  Speaker 3: can be felt, that's palpable. That you know that you
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: were seen. That you know that you were heard. And
• 23:08
  Speaker 3: it feels good. And you walk away with that. Not
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: that she's going to walk away feeling vindicated.
• 23:14
  Speaker 2: Or, yeah, I was right.
• 23:17
  Speaker 3: This is the way it's supposed to be. Damn right
• 23:19
  Speaker 3: you better fucking apologize to me. It's not about any
• 23:21
  Speaker 3: of that because your energy doesn't come to her or
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: this person that way. That's why it's so important for
• 23:29
  Speaker 3: us to pay attention to how we feel. And if
• 23:32
  Speaker 3: we're not in a good feel, a good space to
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: have those conversations, then today probably isn't the day to
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: have that conversation.
• 23:38
  Speaker 2: Not until you can get into a space where it
• 23:39
  Speaker 2: is more open.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: So for me, sometimes someone might say, hey, what's going
• 23:44
  Speaker 3: on or what's wrong with you? I might not be
• 23:45
  Speaker 3: able to put that into words right now. And I
• 23:48
  Speaker 3: might not be able to put that, I might be
• 23:50
  Speaker 3: able to put it into words, but it's not going
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: to come out nicely because it's something that I've got
• 23:54
  Speaker 3: to process. I've got to work through. So sometimes when
• 23:57
  Speaker 3: someone tells you, They'll have to get back to you.
• 23:59
  Speaker 3: They have to get back to you because they're still
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: processing the whole situation and want to come through in
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: the highest, best version of themselves before they have a
• 24:07
  Speaker 3: response to the situation or the question, the experience.
• 24:15
  Speaker 1: And I've also learned in... So we think about... perspective
• 24:25
  Speaker 1: and we think about how is the other person going
• 24:27
  Speaker 1: to react or respond, what I have learned, because in
• 24:34
  Speaker 1: learning to use my voice from having an introverted background,
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: is that there are, to feel safe and to know
• 24:47
  Speaker 1: that there are people who will try to turn the
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: tables on you, who will try to make you look
• 24:54
  Speaker 1: like the bad person, who will try to do the
• 24:56
  Speaker 1: things to make themselves look good and right, that for
• 25:00
  Speaker 1: me to feel safe is to have at least one
• 25:03
  Speaker 1: other person in the room. Whether they say anything or not,
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: it's just a matter of accountability that I did my
• 25:17
  Speaker 1: part And whatever comes out of their mouth, somebody else
• 25:21
  Speaker 1: has heard it. Somebody else has witnessed to it. And
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: that's my intention. Whether it's one person, I have three
• 25:33
  Speaker 1: in mind to be in the room as well. Three,
• 25:35
  Speaker 1: besides me and this other person. And so for good reason,
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: it's not building a team of people against this person
• 25:44
  Speaker 1: by no means. And I don't want anybody to think that.
• 25:47
  Speaker 1: Because all of these people were involved. And so to
• 25:52
  Speaker 1: have us in the room and for me to even
• 25:54
  Speaker 1: be able to call that meeting is huge. But when
• 25:59
  Speaker 1: you said, even when I was talking about earlier that
• 26:01
  Speaker 1: I made a mistake or human error, I agree with you.
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: There are no mistakes. It happened for a reason. And
• 26:07
  Speaker 1: if it's just for me to learn and grow within myself,
• 26:10
  Speaker 1: I'm okay with that. If it's for me, if it's
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: for me to be given an opportunity to be a
• 26:16
  Speaker 1: positive influence in somebody else's life through this avenue, I'm
• 26:20
  Speaker 1: okay with that too. And that's part of my process
• 26:23
  Speaker 1: is how can I have a conversation with somebody that
• 26:28
  Speaker 1: they are not used to having? Because this person is
• 26:32
  Speaker 1: used to fluffing their feathers, putting their chest out and pushing.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: till they get what they want or to express their
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: anger for what they deserve or when they have felt
• 26:48
  Speaker 1: wronged instead of, hey, this happened. Do you think you
• 26:52
  Speaker 1: could fix it? It was, I can't believe you guys
• 26:54
  Speaker 1: did that, right? Now it's accusation, pointing the finger and
• 26:58
  Speaker 1: pushing against instead of just saying, hey, this is happening
• 27:03
  Speaker 1: right now. Is this something we can take care of?
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: These two different energies. And this person is not used
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: to a calmer energy. She's used to just getting aggressive
• 27:16
  Speaker 1: and demanding. And, um, and I, it's like, that's where the, like,
• 27:23
  Speaker 1: am I going to be a pushover? Probably not. Cause
• 27:25
  Speaker 1: I've learned to use my voice and I've learned to
• 27:27
  Speaker 1: stand up for myself and my own confidence, but do
• 27:30
  Speaker 1: I need to match her energy? No, because as soon
• 27:33
  Speaker 1: as I match her energy, then she has control over me.
• 27:37
  Speaker 1: And so it's recognizing how am I doing within myself
• 27:41
  Speaker 1: in this situation? If I feel like it's not going
• 27:44
  Speaker 1: to go, if the conversation goes south, it's not going
• 27:46
  Speaker 1: to go. Conversation is over. I can walk out of
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: the room. I can be done and I don't need
• 27:51
  Speaker 1: to engage with her anymore. Right. So I have choices, too,
• 27:56
  Speaker 1: in this situation. Am I expecting it to go that way? No. Why?
• 28:00
  Speaker 1: Because I get to set my intentions on how I
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: expect it to turn out. My intention is to touch
• 28:07
  Speaker 1: her in a way, not physically, emotionally, mentally, spiritually, touch
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: her in a way that, listen, we can do this
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: in a calm manner. We can remedy this with a
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: simple question. Hey, do you think you could take care
• 28:25
  Speaker 1: of this? I don't think this is right. Yeah, absolutely.
• 28:29
  Speaker 1: My fault. Let's get it done. Which we did. As
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: soon as the aggressive accusations were made, we hopped on
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: it like it was done. We got it done, took
• 28:39
  Speaker 1: care of it. But was there any recognition of taking
• 28:43
  Speaker 1: care of things? No. To me, that's a reaction. Instead
• 28:50
  Speaker 1: of a, hey, thank you so much for taking care
• 28:52
  Speaker 1: of that. I appreciate it.
• 28:54
  Speaker 2: You know what?
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: My fault. Done. Now this needs to go into a
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: meeting because I feel like there's still some resolve that
• 29:02
  Speaker 1: needs to be made. And that's my decision. That's my choice.
• 29:06
  Speaker 1: And again, I can set my intention on how I
• 29:09
  Speaker 1: expect this to go.
• 29:14
  Speaker 3: And just the positive thing about being an introvert, one
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: of the many positives is to be able to just
• 29:19
  Speaker 3: sit back and feel with everything of you, listen with
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: every part of you. And then you know how to
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: navigate that conversation that's going to have the best possible outcome.
• 29:32
  Speaker 1: And I feel like this is an ongoing interaction with
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: her because not too long ago, something else happened. And
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: she came at us with an aggressive attitude. And when
• 29:45
  Speaker 1: I say us, this was, this is all a work experience.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: And I was standing there and she was talking to me.
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: but talking to us as an organization. And, and I said,
• 30:00
  Speaker 1: and she was very upset about something that happened. And
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: I said, first of all, none of that's true. What
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: you're saying, it's not true. That's not how it went. And, um,
• 30:13
  Speaker 1: by the end of the conversation, I said, you know,
• 30:17
  Speaker 1: if something else comes up and it doesn't seem like, um,
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: What were my words? It was around the idea that
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: if you feel like there's an issue with something going on,
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: could you just ask us? And that's why I said,
• 30:36
  Speaker 1: I'm like, could you just ask us? Because most likely
• 30:40
  Speaker 1: it's not what you think it is. And isn't that
• 30:44
  Speaker 1: true for so many stories that we conjure up? 100%.
• 30:47
  Speaker 3: I can even go back to the last video we
• 30:50
  Speaker 3: just made before this one, probably the last few videos.
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: It's all a matter of perspective.
• 30:55
  Speaker 3: And then it's operating off the, the old patterns, the old,
• 30:59
  Speaker 3: you know, how I used to, I used to be
• 31:01
  Speaker 3: so much that same person, but it's like underneath all
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: that as a, a wounded person, a wounded child, an unheard.
• 31:09
  Speaker 2: Child, an unseen child, sometimes a spoiled child.
• 31:14
  Speaker 1: And also, you know, we take it into an energetic, uh, um,
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: space for me. it's about learning and growing within myself
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: and be able to face these types of situation with
• 31:26
  Speaker 1: ease and grace and grace for myself to be able to, to,
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: to handle it and move through it for this other person.
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: If we want to talk about an energetic vibrational match,
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: she's getting what she is attracting.
• 31:49
  Speaker 2: A hundred percent.
• 31:52
  Speaker 1: Right. And she don't know how to, to handle it.
• 31:54
  Speaker 1: Cause then if she's living life through the eyes of
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: life is always against me. People are always against me.
• 32:02
  Speaker 1: I always have to fight for what I deserve and
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: what I need or whatever. Then, then yeah, it's going
• 32:07
  Speaker 1: to seem like every time she comes up against something
• 32:10
  Speaker 1: that she doesn't like, it's because she's attracted it. It's
• 32:13
  Speaker 1: because she's manifested it because that's her perspective about life.
• 32:19
  Speaker 1: Life is hard. Life you have to fight for. Life is,
• 32:22
  Speaker 1: you know, everybody's against me. So then I come along
• 32:27
  Speaker 1: and make a mistake, which again, we know it's not
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: a mistake. It was a vibrational match to whatever the
• 32:34
  Speaker 1: experience is at the time. And it's a matter of
• 32:37
  Speaker 1: how are each of us going to move through this experience?
• 32:46
  Speaker 2: With grace and ease.
• 32:47
  Speaker 1: Grace and ease. That's what I choose. Yes. That is
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: what I choose. And it's teaching others. So I do
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: this by example. So of course, however, I approach the conversation. However,
• 33:02
  Speaker 1: I move through this, whatever words I choose to use,
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: that is going to be an example and testimony to
• 33:08
  Speaker 1: the other people that are in the room. And maybe
• 33:13
  Speaker 1: just maybe. I can have a positive influence on a
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: handful of people. And just maybe that's the whole point
• 33:23
  Speaker 1: of the whole experience. We'll see.
• 33:30
  Speaker 2: We'll know by this time next year.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: We may never know in this lifetime, but that's okay.
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: When I become in spirit, it's all right. I'll know
• 33:40
  Speaker 1: it all. I don't know.
• 33:44
  Speaker 3: I feel like you're going to know a lot more
• 33:46
  Speaker 3: before that just because I feel like we are in spirit.
• 33:48
  Speaker 2: Do you know what I mean?
• 33:49
  Speaker 3: I feel like that's a whole other conversation, but I
• 33:51
  Speaker 3: feel like the more that we move through all this
• 33:54
  Speaker 3: stuff and we're not in that space of blaming or
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: wanting to attack or defend or any of these other things,
• 34:00
  Speaker 3: we lay down our shields and now we're allowing this
• 34:04
  Speaker 3: full human experience to happen because I feel like the
• 34:09
  Speaker 3: spiritual part has always been been meant to be here
• 34:12
  Speaker 3: on this journey with us we just haven't always allowed
• 34:15
  Speaker 3: it because of the humans that we've learned from around
• 34:18
  Speaker 3: us because that's what they knew yeah.
• 34:24
  Speaker 1: So with that we're gonna wrap up this session we're
• 34:29
  Speaker 1: gonna wrap up this session uh more videos to come
• 34:33
  Speaker 1: and uh um you know people are out there having
• 34:36
  Speaker 1: these conversations they're needing some guidance And just be a resource.
• 34:42
  Speaker 1: If you find that something in this video has helped you,
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: then share it with somebody who may be going through
• 34:46
  Speaker 1: something similar. And you can find us on many platforms.
• 34:51
  Speaker 1: We're on Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, Spotify, Podcast Addict, and Spreaker.
• 34:56
  Speaker 1: Bev and I have organic conversations. We do not plan
• 34:59
  Speaker 1: our conversations. It's typically whatever we're experiencing in the current
• 35:03
  Speaker 1: moments that we come back and share, not come back,
• 35:07
  Speaker 1: come together to share and just have conversation. Um, and
• 35:12
  Speaker 1: so we know that there are many people on the
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: planet who are having these same conversations or at least
• 35:17
  Speaker 1: seeking the guidance to help them move through things like this.
• 35:21
  Speaker 1: So with that, um, be sure to share our links,
• 35:25
  Speaker 1: share the videos, um, put comments or questions in the,
• 35:31
  Speaker 1: in the comments and we'll come back to them. If
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: there's something you want us to talk about, let us know.
• 35:37
  Speaker 1: We are open to, um, having requests, but we don't
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: know what we don't know. And otherwise you just keep
• 35:45
  Speaker 1: watching our videos and see if something comes up for you.
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: So with that, you have any final words?
• 35:53
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 35:54
  Speaker 3: I would say, are you the driver or are you
• 35:58
  Speaker 3: the passenger in this human experience? And that's going to
• 36:03
  Speaker 3: let you know kind of where you're going and how
• 36:05
  Speaker 3: life is for you.
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah. Are you the one flailing around on the
• 36:10
  Speaker 1: roller coaster? Are you the one pushing the button that
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: makes the roller coaster go?
• 36:13
  Speaker 2: That's right.
• 36:14
  Speaker 3: And then watching everybody around you laugh and giggle and
• 36:18
  Speaker 3: living in that experience of that beautiful energy.
• 36:20
  Speaker 2: Yeah. Love it.
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: All right, friends. Thanks for hanging out with us. Tea
• 36:25
  Speaker 1: time with Amy and Bev. We'll see you next time. Bye.