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Rachel Baribeau: Finding Joy Through Being Bold · The Bold Lounge

• 0:07
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Bold Lounge Podcast.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_01: My name is Lee Burgess and I will be your host.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_01: If you're anything like me, you love hearing inspiring stories of people who have gone on full journeys and make positive interactive.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_01: I believe everyone has a bold story waiting to be created.
• 0:50
  SPEAKER_01: Tune in.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_01: Get ready to get the fire.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the bold lounge.
• 0:59
  SPEAKER_01: This morning I'm excited to have Rachel Joy Barbot.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: She's the founder of I'm Changing the Narrative and former National Sportscaster.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome, Rachel.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you for having me.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I am so pumped to be here.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: This has been a we've been working towards this for a while.
• 1:13
  SPEAKER_00: And I feel like sometimes, not a lot, not sometimes, a lot of times, when you have to work for something, it turns out to be something absolutely beautiful.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, we've made it.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_01: We've connected.
• 1:22
  SPEAKER_01: We've been working on this for a while.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm so excited to have this conversation with you.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_01: We spoke a little bit before, but I would love for you just to introduce yourself to the listeners.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, absolutely.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: So my name is Rachel Joy Barbot.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: I got married about a year ago.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So in other circles, when I'm not in the public facing, I'm Rachel Joy Rohe.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I am the founder, as you mentioned, of I'm Changing the Narrative, and spent 17 years before that as a sportscaster, rose up the ranks, became a national sportscaster, vote for the Heisman still to this day.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: One of like 870 something people in the world, very few women that vote for the Heisman.
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, I've got a book coming out next year.
• 2:02
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a speaker, I'm a mentor, and I'm just incredibly blessed, Lee.
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_00: I'm incredibly blessed to live a life every single day where literally I wake up and I love what I do.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Excellent.
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, it doesn't even feel like work, right?
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_01: Except when you're working on those last couple of pieces of your book, probably.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, funny you said that because I told somebody that the other day, you know, the adage is, you know, that old adage, if you love what you do, you'll never work a day in your life.
• 2:28
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean there won't be hard days.
• 2:29
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, exactly.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean there won't be days where you're, you know, you're pulled in a thousand different directions.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're anything like me, which I know you are, I like to work on different projects at one time.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if my brain were to be shown to you, there'd probably be 47 tabs open and I at the same time, you know, and so I enjoy that, but I hear that adage sometimes, and that doesn't mean there's not going to be hard times.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: That doesn't mean there's not going to be times where it stretches you and you question yourself and you're in the fetal position, but it means that relentlessly you know what you're doing, you're adding value to the world and you're doing what you're meant to do with your life.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_01: I always say I'm in alignment.
• 3:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: I may be stress, but I'm still aligned with what I want to do and how I want to do it and who I want to work with and who I want to serve.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_01: And that's the difference between I think how I am now to maybe how I was when I was in the corporate scene.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_01: I always felt a little bit out of line and depending on the situation, more out of line at some times and more in line at others.
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_01: But I think you're absolutely right.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_01: I've seen a lot also just around being an entrepreneur, and people say we only show the the fabulous side of it, and people don't, you know, don't realize it's hard work.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I think if people have their eyes open, they know it's hard work.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_01: So like it it is it is just something that I think it's just more in align with with what your purpose is.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't mean you're not stressed on certain days.
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: And you bring up a great point too.
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_00: Like I've been marinating on this lately.
• 3:59
  SPEAKER_00: And when I marinate on something, it usually means it needs to come out in some form or fashion, either a book, a talk, whatever it may be, your podcast, which I'm so excited to be on.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know, we are inundated on a daily basis.
• 4:10
  SPEAKER_00: And I wrote about this in my book too, but we're inundated with information on a daily basis.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, now Twitter, you know, I'm I'm not complaining about it, but it's like, hey, learn these five things in two minutes.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: You know, you can go over here and you can learn about what to rub on your feet at night.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can learn about, you know, I mean, it's constantly coming at you.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: So for your word alignment, I love that.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that marinates in my soul because you have to find out who you want to be aligned with.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: Otherwise, you can get caught in the muck of so much information daily.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: And I think for me, it can be overwhelming if I'm not super clear on who I want to be aligned with, what I want to do, what are my goals, and being free and feeling confident to say that doesn't serve me right now.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: No, I cannot add a 17th self-care regimen to the day, you know.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like I know what works for me.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I know what doesn't work for me, and I'm just gonna keep my eyes on the prize.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I try to keep it simple, you know.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_01: I really do.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we also like step into reading things and going places.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, it does it's not like your phone like stands up, opens itself up, and you mean you pick up your phone and you look at it.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_01: So I'm guilty of it.
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_01: My thing for 2023 is to read more than I scroll, meaning read a book.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, pick up something.
• 5:23
  SPEAKER_00: Yep, all my books next to me.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I feel your sister.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I feel you.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so but I mean, to me, that's a different type of seeking information or you know, taking in information too.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's also another thing that we could do.
• 5:36
  SPEAKER_01: Keep it simple and then find a way that maybe creates less agitation.
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yes.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_01: But I wanted to ask, what is your definition of bold?
• 5:45
  SPEAKER_01: How would you define it in the world of Rachel?
• 5:48
  SPEAKER_00: It means being 1000% authentically myself.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: It means marching to the beat of my own drum.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: It means not listening to anybody's definition of myself that I'm too much, or I'm not enough, or I shouldn't have said that, or I shouldn't have gone there.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: I should.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's being just who I was created to be down in my soul.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: And that's how I sleep well at night.
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: I I teach on this thought of regret and it being a nasty bedfellow.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: And so I try to live my life every single day boldly, without regret.
• 6:21
  SPEAKER_00: And I love people.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: I go back and tell people that their eyes are beautiful or thank you.
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And then when I mess up, I say I'm sorry.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: And living boldly and authentically and without regret is really my motto.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: It's it's who I am.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: With so when we talked about this podcast, and you're like, oh my gosh, it's bold, you know, it's all about being bored.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, oh my gosh, that's me.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: So me.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 6:43
  SPEAKER_01: And I think what's the one thing that's interesting is people don't maybe realize how bold they are, which is really how this podcast came to be was I was talking to people and I was like, oh my gosh, like someone needs to hear your story.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_01: And even me, like I didn't feel my story was not worthy, but I just like it's not that important.
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_01: Like everyone has trials and tribulations and goes through things, and you know, I'm not that special.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_01: But what I realized is the more I told my story, the more I talked about things that happened to me or things I overcome or things I accomplished, like it actually inspired people.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_01: And they said that.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_01: And that was new to me, hearing someone say to me, You inspire me.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, Well, I think I'm supposed to do something with that, right?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_01: So when do you remember being bold for the first time?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I this is the greatest little memory.
• 7:33
  SPEAKER_00: I do a lot of the work that I do involves looking at your, you know, your child and your childhood and what you know and where you are today in relation to that.
• 7:42
  SPEAKER_00: I remember little Rachel.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_00: I probably was in second or third grade, somewhere around in there, and the movie Dirty Dancing had come out.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: There was uh a song from Dirty Dancing, and I was taking tap dancing class.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember asking the teacher, Lee.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm grinning like a stuck pig.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: I remember asking the teacher to stay after afterwards, and I did this whole routine to this song.
• 8:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I mean, I danced my heart out.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: I remember look the other little, you know, participants of class looking in the, you know, in the window, watching me.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Turns out, Lee, I had never choreographed it.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: I just wanted to go out there and dance.
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: I wanted to be bold.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I felt like I wanted to perform and just express myself.
• 8:25
  SPEAKER_00: But you would have never known, Lee, if you were walking by that dance class, you would have never known that little Rachel Joy Barbo had not choreographed that whole dance.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: But I mean, I was doing it, I was dancing.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: You would have thought that I was on some stage somewhere about to, you know, win an award.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: And I think back to that little girl.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_00: And I like to encourage my little self and talk to my little self and tell her all the great things she's gonna do and that she's safe and that she's wonderful.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: And I look at that little girl and I think, wow, what boldness, what magic inside of her.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't scared of what people thought of me.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: I wasn't worried.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: I just got out there and I let my little heart shine.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: And still today, you probably can't see anybody that's listening, but I've got a grin as big, you know, across my face right now, just thinking about being bold as a little girl.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_01: Even when I bet you're the type of person, like, even when you're challenged, you're probably halfway smiling.
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know what I mean?
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_01: In the sense of like, okay, like that didn't go as planned, but let's figure it out, right?
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_01: In that sense.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: And then I think also being willing to step out and like just be you unapologetically.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_01: What's interesting when we're younger, we feel like we can be more of ourselves, and somehow as we get older and older, and there's many reasons, but we realize that we can't be all of us all the time for some reason.
• 9:42
  SPEAKER_01: At least I'm just speaking for myself.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, yeah, you know, I'm in my 50s, early 50s now, so I'm a different person now than I was in my 40s and 30s.
• 9:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I always call it the baton handoff, you know, from the 30-year-old lead to the 40-year-old lead to the 50-year-old lead.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_01: And something happened from the 40 to 50.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that baton was on freaking fire or something.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_01: But I am like, I'm running, I am unapologetic, I am me, and I feel more I'm happier.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: There's just, you know, there's just I think more is like that, dot, dot, like insert the word.
• 10:17
  SPEAKER_01: Do you think that happens as we get somewhere in life, we we become less of ourselves and then we come back, or is that just your experience?
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_01: I I don't, I don't know if it's just something that happens to most of us.
• 10:28
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, you know, it's interestingly when I I heard you say that it's almost like a gift you want to give to the world.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: And and the gift of just being yourself unapologetically, right?
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: I tell people in my talks, if you're a wallflower, be the most amazing wallflower and revel in it.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And if you are extroverted, be the most extroverted, you know, person that you can be and shine in all your glory.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Stop trying to fit in places that you are not supposed to fit in.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: Be you, right?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: If you're an extrovert and you spend half your life trying to be outgoing and it stresses you out and brings you anxiety, then that's obviously not not who you are truly.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 11:06
  SPEAKER_00: If you're, you know, and so I say that, and I heard you say, you know, you that baton that got passed from 40 to 50.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: I like it's literally it's something, and I bet you would agree.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I want to give it to every woman, I want to give it to every man, that gift of self-acceptance.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: And you are right.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: What happens to us over the years is we start listening to the world's definition of us and the world standards, and you should be this and you shouldn't be this.
• 11:31
  SPEAKER_00: And little girl, you talk too much.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: You know, little girl, you're bossy.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: Well, no, how about little girl?
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: You're assertive.
• 11:36
  SPEAKER_00: Little girl, you are smart.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: Little girl, you are articulate.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: And so we start to listen to the world standards of who we are, and then we start to take those on.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: And then, as you mentioned, social media on top of it, comparison is a thief of joy.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: Well, this doesn't look like that.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: My career isn't like that, and I haven't accomplished what Lee's accomplished or Rachel's accomplished.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_00: And then all of a sudden we are we're just over here doubting ourselves.
• 12:01
  SPEAKER_00: And yeah, it's a gift.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: You are walking in it, sister, and and all of that.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_00: The first time we had our pre-show meeting, you're just you're very confident, you're very peaceful, but powerful in who you are.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: It comes across very strongly.
• 12:15
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, you know, again, it's a gift I'd like to give to the world.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: And like you just want people to see it sooner.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's like my mission now is like, you know, don't wait till you're 50.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: But there's like power and also learning along the way.
• 12:29
  SPEAKER_01: I don't mean like skip the parts that get messy that you learn from, because I think it's hard if if life is so perfect and we do this with our children, we try to just protect them from everything negative experiences or or moments, but we know that there's actually power in the learning, power in the what I call things that didn't go right, the the failures.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_01: That's a strong word, but you know, things do fail and not work.
• 12:54
  SPEAKER_01: They do that now, you know, as we were reflecting on even looking back at last year, like what are we bringing in?
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: What are we letting stay behind, right?
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_01: And and what are we never going to do again?
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: And I think the one thing I'll keep doing is I'll keep creating, I'll keep seeking joy, I'll keep trying to help people know there's more opportunity for them than maybe what they're seeing or maybe what they're defining as opportunity.
• 13:18
  SPEAKER_01: When you roll through your world, like you went from this girl who, you know, dirty dancing, I'm showing you my dance to kind of what kind of happened next in your bull journey.
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: Now you I know you were a sportscaster, but is that what you set out to be?
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't know, Lee, to be honest with you.
• 13:34
  SPEAKER_00: I had no clue.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I just knew I wanted to do something, obviously dirty dancing and making up a dance on the fly.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: I knew I was good in front of people.
• 13:41
  SPEAKER_00: I thought I was going to do general assignment reporting until very quickly I realized house fires and car wrecks and white supremacy groups were not my bag.
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_00: I feel too deeply.
• 13:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'm too much of an empath.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: And at Auburn, where I went to school, I was sent out on an assignment with a campus TV station to cover the baseball team.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: Always been a big sports fan.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then it was kind of that aha moment where I was like, wow, okay.
• 14:04
  SPEAKER_00: The clouds parted and the sun shone through.
• 14:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, I'm gonna do this.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm gonna be a sportscaster.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I did it for 17 years.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I, along the way, you mentioned something earlier that really resonated with me.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: For me, better than a million-dollar deposit in the bank account is when somebody said you inspired me, when somebody said, You touched my life, you changed my life.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: I did this differently because of you.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_00: You you host these retreats, you do all these things.
• 14:28
  SPEAKER_00: That, wow, that um when I hear those same things from people, it's everything to me.
• 14:32
  SPEAKER_00: It's better than that deposit, right?
• 14:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so along the way of that career, I had so many people, so many young women and older women say to me, You inspired me.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_00: And so I always said, I'm doing it for all the little girls out there and all the big girls out there.
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I never really I had dreams and goals and aspirations, but I didn't understand or know that I was going to literally make history in several different ways and just was trying to keep a roof over my head and and climb the ladder.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_00: And along the way, some amazing things happened.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, I think that's interesting.
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: I want to hang on making history for a second.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 15:04
  SPEAKER_01: We don't realize we're probably doing it when we're doing it, right?
• 15:08
  SPEAKER_01: We're just living life, we're just doing our thing, we're just trying to find our alignment or trying to find what brings us the most joy.
• 15:15
  SPEAKER_01: And you keep doing that your entire life, I hope, right?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_01: You know, like it there's nothing wrong with wanting better or more.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't mean you don't appreciate with what you have now.
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_01: And there's also nothing wrong with saying, I'm good, like I don't need anymore.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_01: Like I'm just yappy.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think when we're making history, like what were some of those moments you didn't realize you were making history, but you did.
• 15:40
  SPEAKER_00: So the first one was so I think it's a cool, funny story, but the first one was I was in sports talk radio in Columbus, Georgia in my 20s, and there weren't a lot of women in sports talk radio.
• 15:50
  SPEAKER_00: There were womenly on sidelines in press boxes, but they were not doing three, four hours of sports talk radio.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: So that in itself was new.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: But there was a man that used to call in and he had the worst, you know, I'm gonna do a bad southern accent.
• 16:03
  SPEAKER_00: He said, Hey girl, you don't know nothing about football.
• 16:06
  SPEAKER_00: You ain't never strapped on a helmet.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Oh, yes, I do, yes, I do.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_00: I've watched it my whole life.
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_00: My brothers played, I studied.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_00: And so there became this crazy opportunity for me to go to training to a training camp with a local championship indoor football team.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: And the we we kind of sidelined the coach, or we, you know, come out of nowhere and said, you know, can we do this?
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: Can she go to training camp?
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: And he said, Well, you know, look, you're gonna have to sign waivers, you're gonna have to get a physical.
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_00: And here's the caveat.
• 16:34
  SPEAKER_00: He said, We're gonna treat you like everybody else.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_00: So that means we're gonna tackle you.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: Now, Lee, I'm teethed, I'm built close to the ground.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_00: So grown men were gonna tackle me.
• 16:43
  SPEAKER_00: And so I trained, I thought I could, you know, figure it out and get ready for it.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_00: Um, you can't really get ready for grown men tackling you, but I'm like, what?
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so I ended up lasting five days of two-a-days and three hours of football in the morning, three hours of football at night before I was medically released.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_00: I was never, and it was never an intention to play a game, but I learned the playbook.
• 17:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm still friends with my teammates to this day.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_00: I was beat black and blue.
• 17:09
  SPEAKER_00: And to this day, I'm still the only known female sports caster to ever fully participate.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_00: Not I, black, not just wearing the helmet and take a picture, fully participate in a semi-professional or professional football training camp with men.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_00: And to this day, you know, when somebody says you don't know anything about football, I can say, Oh, let me tell you something.
• 17:28
  SPEAKER_00: Let me tell you something.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_01: So there's doubters, right?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I think sometimes we let the doubters stop us.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: But I think in being bold, you just keep going.
• 17:38
  SPEAKER_01: Or you say, Okay, I really have nothing to prove to anyone but me.
• 17:43
  SPEAKER_01: But I'm gonna, I'm going to do this.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And and probably through that experience, I can't imagine.
• 17:48
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, there's fear in that, I would think.
• 17:50
  SPEAKER_01: There's just like logical, like, why am I doing this?
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_01: And what is I would think, what would my mom think right now is what I my mom would be like, Leanne, she always puts her name comes out, you know.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what are you thinking?
• 18:04
  SPEAKER_01: So, like, like in that moment, like you were not only doing it for you know, in the sense of learning, but also for yourself to probably show that you could do it and you were tough enough, but you also knew when to stop, too, right?
• 18:15
  SPEAKER_00: Yes, I couldn't walk.
• 18:17
  SPEAKER_01: I can't imagine, yeah.
• 18:18
  SPEAKER_01: I can't imagine.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_01: As a female sportscaster, and I'm talking about the doubters, sometimes the doubters are actually other females.
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: All all females aren't cheering on other females.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's one thing that I've also realized is that sometimes when you succeed or make history or do something different, not that you're trying to, but it actually sparks something in someone else that they realize maybe they're not doing what they're aligned to or what they want to do.
• 18:46
  SPEAKER_01: Instead of realizing that, it becomes more being critical of you or being judgmental of you.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_01: Did you find that in the sportscaster world too?
• 18:54
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, you nailed it.
• 18:56
  SPEAKER_00: Look, for every woman that's listening to this, there is room for all of us.
• 19:01
  SPEAKER_00: Blowing out somebody else's candle is not going to make yours burn brighter.
• 19:04
  SPEAKER_00: Also, this Lee, I'm determined not to die with my gifts.
• 19:08
  SPEAKER_00: I will not die with my gifts, I will not die with my talent, I will not die with my knowledge, I will not die with my wisdom.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_00: And I had no woman to mentor me in the sports casting world.
• 19:18
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I had men, but they are, they weren't, they didn't understand what it's like to be a woman in a man's world.
• 19:23
  SPEAKER_00: And so, because of that, I decided uh the second half of my career to start mentoring young female sportscasters.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_00: And in seven years, I mentored over 40 women who are successful in the business now, who are doing great things.
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_00: Some are still in, some are out.
• 19:37
  SPEAKER_00: And here's what I would say to any woman that feels that when they see another woman, they feel jealous or they feel feelings that that aren't healthy or maybe positive feelings.
• 19:49
  SPEAKER_00: Look, that's an invitation for you to look inward and say, why am I jealous of her?
• 19:56
  SPEAKER_00: What look, jealousy is a natural, it's it's it's a natural thing.
• 20:00
  SPEAKER_00: What I've learned to do in my jealousy was if somebody else gets an opportunity to leave that I want, I will sit.
• 20:05
  SPEAKER_00: And if I feel jealous of them, I will sit and I will sit with them.
• 20:10
  SPEAKER_00: And then I will say, I have no idea what they've been through to get there.
• 20:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then I will process it, it will take a moment, and then I will wish them well in my head and I will pray for them.
• 20:20
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I do to work through it.
• 20:22
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think it's a natural thing to say, don't ever feel jealous, right?
• 20:25
  SPEAKER_00: Like I think don't think that's gonna happen.
• 20:27
  SPEAKER_00: But secondly, I think it's an invitation, if you do feel insecure, to look within yourself.
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_00: Why don't I want her to win?
• 20:34
  SPEAKER_00: What am I not doing?
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_00: What unresolved feelings do I have?
• 20:38
  SPEAKER_00: And so we just encouraged um in the sports casting world and even now, you know, I work with queens, as I call them, work with females, and I tell them, look, man, you are better together.
• 20:48
  SPEAKER_00: You are better together.
• 20:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll also say this little mean girls sometimes grow up to be big mean girls.
• 20:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I've never met a happy bully.
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_00: I've never met a happy, mean person who lays their head on the pillow, who is genuinely happy.
• 21:04
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I will say to any age that I speak to is sit with it and get to the root of why you are unhappy for the person or why, if you can't get past the jealousy, why that is, and do the work.
• 21:17
  SPEAKER_00: Those triggers are an invitation lead to do the work.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, that's exactly what I was thinking.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_01: It was like, you got to do the work.
• 21:23
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_01: And I think some people aren't willing to do the work.
• 21:26
  SPEAKER_01: They they want to, you know, deflect or criticize or be judgmental or be mean.
• 21:32
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and the world needs kindness, not meanness.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_01: And I think I do agree with you.
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, I I remember, you know, playground type of moments, you know, it in kindergarten.
• 21:46
  SPEAKER_01: I know first name and last name, which I won't say on a podcast, of people who were mean to me in first or second grade.
• 21:52
  SPEAKER_01: And it's so weird to remember that so far along, you know, and of course I remember adults um along the way.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_01: And for some reason, in my experience, I actually had more women be unhelpful to me in my career than men.
• 22:08
  SPEAKER_01: And I I wish I didn't say that, but I mean it's my experience, so I'll stand in it.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: And you know, of course I had females that did help me, but I had even less experience, you know, in a sense of kindness and let me help you, let me sponsor you, let me bring you forward, let me help you understand why that didn't work and what you should do differently.
• 22:29
  SPEAKER_01: And so I think what's interesting now and what you're saying too is like you want to help others kind of, you know, not that you, you know, pave the way and they don't have any issues, but you're kind of like, this is what you should look out for.
• 22:40
  SPEAKER_01: And when this happens, this is gonna feel this way.
• 22:42
  SPEAKER_01: And like if you feel this way, like sit in it, do the work, and what's next.
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_01: I just think sometimes, and I just want everyone to hear this, like we're we're not nice to one another, and therefore that doesn't help any of us in that sense, and female or male.
• 22:56
  SPEAKER_01: Like, again, like you don't know someone's experience and what they've what they've had and you know in their life and what they've been struggling with or what it took to get to where they are, and they don't know yours either.
• 23:06
  SPEAKER_01: So don't expect someone to be able to read, you know, your experience or your mind either.
• 23:10
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's important for people to hear.
• 23:13
  SPEAKER_00: No, and and just really quickly on that, I wrote about this in my in my upcoming book, Relentless Joy.
• 23:18
  SPEAKER_00: I wrote about just what you talked about.
• 23:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know, when we are met with somebody who is closed up, who is angry, who is mad, who is whatever, just you have a negative encounter.
• 23:28
  SPEAKER_00: We really have two choices.
• 23:30
  SPEAKER_00: We can meet them with the same bitterness, the same anger, the same vitriol.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_00: And if we do, we we both end up losing because then you you're you're bitter, you're mad, you're angry, you're you have a negative experience.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_00: And also they do too.
• 23:43
  SPEAKER_00: And then for me, I find myself when I've done that ashamed of myself.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: Or we can meet somebody's anger, sadness, whatever it may be, with kindness.
• 23:52
  SPEAKER_00: We can compliment them genuinely.
• 23:54
  SPEAKER_00: We can speak to them, we can call them by their name.
• 23:56
  SPEAKER_00: We can say, hello, how are you?
• 23:58
  SPEAKER_00: I had a very quickly, I had a story years ago of this woman in a grocery store where I used to live in Atlanta.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_00: And I always went through her checkout league and she was very closed up, she was shriveled, her soul was shriveled, she was bitter, she was angry, she was very short.
• 24:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I just kept, for whatever reason, I kept going through that uh turnstile.
• 24:16
  SPEAKER_00: I kept going to her checkout.
• 24:18
  SPEAKER_00: One day, my relentless kindness, my relentless joy, my middle name, I broke through.
• 24:24
  SPEAKER_00: And she told me that at home she was caring for her adult daughter who was injured in a motorcycle accident and had an irreparable brain injury.
• 24:34
  SPEAKER_00: And so she was caring for her adult daughter, and that's where that vitriol and that bitterness and that sadness came from.
• 24:40
  SPEAKER_00: And it, I never would have gotten through to her and broken through with kindness and with joy and with love had I not just been relentless in my nature.
• 24:48
  SPEAKER_00: And so, just for anybody who's listening to this podcast, we have those two choices.
• 24:53
  SPEAKER_00: And there's been many times where I've failed in it, but I try to go back and make it right.
• 24:57
  SPEAKER_00: Um, apologize or say I'm sorry or I want to do better.
• 25:00
  SPEAKER_00: And that's all we can do as humans.
• 25:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_01: Keep being you.
• 25:04
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's the key thing.
• 25:06
  SPEAKER_01: And if you and then your authentic self, hopefully, it's kind and empathetic and open and caring and you know, just wants to help others.
• 25:15
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, that's what I want to do.
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I don't feel like there's any reason to be here unless we're doing good.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: Amen.
• 25:20
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like, I think I smiled as you were talking because there's someone in our town and we'll go to and like the post office or someone, and you're like, Man, I just want to be in that person's aisle today.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_01: They're always in a bad mood, but I just want to smile at them.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_01: I want to tell them great things, you know.
• 25:36
  SPEAKER_01: Most recently with the holidays, like the post office was just bustling with lots of people.
• 25:41
  SPEAKER_01: And I said, What can I do for you?
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_01: Is there anything I hope people are being kind to you?
• 25:45
  SPEAKER_01: And they just kind of stopped for a moment, like, whoa, okay, no one talks like that.
• 25:50
  SPEAKER_01: I was like, Can I send you all a pizza for lunch?
• 25:52
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what can I do for you?
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_01: And they didn't know what to do with this.
• 25:56
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, yeah.
• 25:58
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, and we we were, you know, I was in the grocery store and I was looking for someone to pay for their groceries, you know, like it was that kind of a thing.
• 26:05
  SPEAKER_01: Like, you know, it's just you're there for a reason.
• 26:08
  SPEAKER_01: And so, like, it we like wake up on purpose.
• 26:10
  SPEAKER_01: And what I mean by that is we wake up to do good for others, and whatever that looks like, it could be just a kind word, it could be something more like I just described, or it could just be listening or just acknowledging, you know, it's a tough day, like this really, you know, sucks.
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_01: Sometimes you're not saying, you know, you're you're you're just acknowledging that stuff isn't going well, too.
• 26:33
  SPEAKER_01: It'll get better, you know.
• 26:34
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we all go through those moments.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, life isn't always sunshine, rainbows, and unicorns, like stuff happens that is really bad, and it's just trying to get through it.
• 26:43
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's a really good point for people to really understand.
• 26:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think we know it, but sometimes we get so busy and so locked into our own life that we forget someone else may have much more going on than we realize.
• 26:55
  SPEAKER_00: You are you're what I call a joystarter or a noticer.
• 26:59
  SPEAKER_00: And at the end of each chapter of my book, I talk about a joystart, how to, it's like a jump start for your car, but a joystart for yourself.
• 27:07
  SPEAKER_00: I love that.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_01: I love that.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_00: And so, in preparation for the book coming out in June, we started this group called the Joystarters Club.
• 27:14
  SPEAKER_00: And you are Lee, the definition of what we again, a joystar, a noticer.
• 27:19
  SPEAKER_00: And that is somebody who, again, none of us are perfect, but you look for ways to spread joy.
• 27:24
  SPEAKER_00: You look, you notice people, you notice their spirits, you notice their soul.
• 27:29
  SPEAKER_00: And yes, the world is crazy busy.
• 27:31
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about the beginning of this podcast, all the all the things vine for our attention.
• 27:36
  SPEAKER_00: But I tell you, even in the hard times, as you mentioned, and in the good times, there's little bits of joy just waiting to be discovered.
• 27:44
  SPEAKER_00: And my goal with the book, with my work, with my movement, with my life is to raise up a generation of joy starters, both young and all ages, right?
• 27:54
  SPEAKER_00: That are out there trying to change the world, that are out there trying to spread joy, start joy, notice joy, and be joy in this world.
• 28:02
  SPEAKER_00: So you are that, my dear.
• 28:03
  SPEAKER_01: You are that thank you.
• 28:04
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you very much.
• 28:05
  SPEAKER_01: I appreciate that.
• 28:06
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk about the title Relentless Joy.
• 28:10
  SPEAKER_01: Where did that come from?
• 28:11
  SPEAKER_01: Obviously, joy is your middle name, which is lovely too, but how did you come up with that title?
• 28:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know, my whole career, I was called relentless by multiple people.
• 28:19
  SPEAKER_00: I had an old boss that said you're like a you know pit bull.
• 28:22
  SPEAKER_00: Once you get your teeth into something, you just don't let go, you know.
• 28:25
  SPEAKER_00: And I've had friends tell me that lovingly.
• 28:28
  SPEAKER_00: I'm relentless.
• 28:29
  SPEAKER_00: And you know, I've been through things, Lee, that were meant to kill me many different times in my life.
• 28:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've been through addiction, I've been through abuse, I've lost both my parents, I've lost all my worldly possessions and crawled back.
• 28:42
  SPEAKER_00: And in all that, there was still joy.
• 28:44
  SPEAKER_00: Um, in all of that, there was still this desire to crawl out.
• 28:49
  SPEAKER_00: I call it fingernail fate.
• 28:50
  SPEAKER_00: You know, by the quicks of your fingernails, you're hanging on.
• 28:53
  SPEAKER_00: And so my tagline and and what I want to teach people is how to find, keep, and cultivate joy in a dark world, because it is very easy to get sucked up in the news and this and that and think the world is bad and people are bad and it's dark and it's terrible and these times and that time of food shortages.
• 29:11
  SPEAKER_00: But it's really, again, as we've been talking about this whole podcast, about cultivating a sense of joy, about rewriting those neural pathways, about being around people, about being focused on what you want and aligned, as you mentioned.
• 29:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so for me, there were a couple of different titles that I was working on with my book company, and and Relentless Joy was one of them because it's my nature, it's who I am, it's what we need more in the world.
• 29:37
  SPEAKER_00: And it's literally what I'm teaching people to do in the book.
• 29:40
  SPEAKER_00: And I, I mean, yeah, I wrote it, so I'm pretty jacked about it.
• 29:43
  SPEAKER_00: But in it, in it is like it's I say it's part memoir, part self-help, and part journal.
• 29:52
  SPEAKER_00: There's journaling pages, there's an action step at each at the end of each chapter, there's historical stuff, there's, you know, there's uh scientific studies in there.
• 30:02
  SPEAKER_00: Like it's gonna really touch people.
• 30:04
  SPEAKER_00: And there's a there's a faith element to it.
• 30:06
  SPEAKER_00: But what I said in the book is hey, even if you don't know the Lord, if you don't know God, if you don't like him, like my my goal by the end of the book is you to think maybe he was kind of a really rad dude.
• 30:17
  SPEAKER_00: Like he was, you know, he's pretty, pretty amazing, and and just be more curious about him.
• 30:22
  SPEAKER_00: So for me, I'm a reader, as you and I both mentioned, for me to have something where I can scribble notes and I can say, okay, here's her story, but how does that apply to my story at the end of each chapter and then be able to turn to the back and journal it and then have book clubs and do those things?
• 30:37
  SPEAKER_00: I'm I I again, as I get closer and closer, I'm so excited.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:41
  SPEAKER_01: Being joyful is bold.
• 30:43
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:44
  SPEAKER_01: Especially in today's world.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 30:46
  SPEAKER_01: So I think that's one thing that resonates with this, with the book, with your title, with how you move about the world, is like you're by being joyful, you're actually being bold because I bet there's more people at certain times, you know, in in whether it's the world or the year we're in or whatever it may be.
• 31:06
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, we just you know came out of a pandemic.
• 31:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I I still know, are we in it, are we out of it?
• 31:11
  SPEAKER_01: I don't know.
• 31:12
  SPEAKER_01: Um, it's better.
• 31:13
  SPEAKER_01: I'll just say that.
• 31:14
  SPEAKER_01: You know, we're able to move about and we have the vaccine, which I'm very thankful for.
• 31:18
  SPEAKER_01: So I think, but I mean, there's always something to be negative about, I guess is what I'm saying.
• 31:24
  SPEAKER_01: And regardless of the time or the world, but if you choose joy, it's actually a bold choice.
• 31:30
  SPEAKER_00: Yes.
• 31:31
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it's easier to be negative than it is to be positive.
• 31:35
  SPEAKER_01: So it takes some effort to be joyful.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 31:37
  SPEAKER_01: It does.
• 31:38
  SPEAKER_01: I think that's important for people to realize.
• 31:40
  SPEAKER_01: So, what's one tip you have for folks who just like, man, there's a lot of stuff happening in my life, and it's hard to be positive or it's hard to think that it's gonna get better.
• 31:50
  SPEAKER_01: Like, what's like one small thing or a couple things they can think about to kind of just like you say, start to kind of whether it's clawback or step into being more joyful or finding the joy?
• 32:00
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, so I I the first thing and the foundation of everything that I teach, and I'm changing the narrative, which, you know, again, has spawned the country six years, you know, 60 plus colleges, law enforcement, border patrol, halfway houses, high schools, wherever they'll have me.
• 32:14
  SPEAKER_00: And and also with the book is find what sets your soul on fire and run towards it with everything you've got.
• 32:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now, some people say, okay, what I don't know, I don't know what sets my soul on fire.
• 32:24
  SPEAKER_00: Well, in 2023, what if you started to look at sometimes your greatest pain is attached to your greatest purpose?
• 32:30
  SPEAKER_00: So I'd I'd love for people to start, start to sit with yourself, get quiet with yourself.
• 32:35
  SPEAKER_00: What brings you joy?
• 32:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't want you just going and volunteering at the soup kitchen.
• 32:39
  SPEAKER_00: Find like your sweet spot, what what bothers you that doesn't bother other people?
• 32:44
  SPEAKER_00: Do you want to start a side hustle?
• 32:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's a business, maybe it's a nonprofit, maybe it's just something you maybe you want to write a blog, you want to write a book, you want to be the Nobel Prize winner.
• 32:54
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what that is, or just the best parent you can be.
• 32:57
  SPEAKER_00: So really getting to that seat of your soul and finding what sets your soul on fire.
• 33:02
  SPEAKER_00: And a key to that is again saying sometimes your greatest pain is attached to your greatest purpose is huge.
• 33:09
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, I would say we are huge on soul care.
• 33:12
  SPEAKER_00: And that is deeper than self-care, Lee.
• 33:15
  SPEAKER_00: Self-care is often described as getting your nails done, getting your hair done, getting a new do.
• 33:19
  SPEAKER_00: Soul care is going back, everything to do with your soul, your heart, your mind, and saying, What brings Lee joy?
• 33:27
  SPEAKER_00: What did Lee want to do as a little girl that maybe she abandoned because we didn't have time or we didn't have money or we didn't have the opportunity to do it, or whatever the reason is, right?
• 33:36
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe Lee wanted to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, maybe Lee wanted to play piano, maybe Lee wanted to be a chef.
• 33:43
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 33:44
  SPEAKER_00: And going back to those things and writing them down.
• 33:47
  SPEAKER_00: I always tell people on in a journal, journals also this.
• 33:50
  SPEAKER_00: Bob Goff talks about it, Donald Miller talks about it, and I talk about it in my book, being a reporter.
• 33:55
  SPEAKER_00: Write your life down, write your joy down, write it down because we think we're going to remember it.
• 34:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then we end up not remembering.
• 34:02
  SPEAKER_00: We get some space away from we don't.
• 34:04
  SPEAKER_00: So get inside your journal.
• 34:05
  SPEAKER_00: And on the left-hand side, write all the things that you know right now, simple things that bring you joy, that make your cup feel filled, right?
• 34:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like that fill the cup of your soul.
• 34:14
  SPEAKER_00: But on the other side, write the things that are a little bit more crazy, right?
• 34:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like write the things that are like might take some getting to, you know, might have to plan two years out for a trip to Italy.
• 34:25
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, whatever it is, those things that have been dormant or sitting in there that you haven't even thought about, or things that you maybe even have just always dreamed about, right?
• 34:33
  SPEAKER_00: But just thought they were too far out there.
• 34:35
  SPEAKER_00: So you'll look at your journal then and you'll look at the left hand, the right hand side, and things that you could do right now to fill your cup to make you giggle and laugh and be relaxed.
• 34:46
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe it's napping.
• 34:47
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I don't know what it is.
• 34:48
  SPEAKER_00: It could be anything.
• 34:49
  SPEAKER_00: And the right hand side are the things that that are a little bit further out there, but are great things to aspire to that make us happy.
• 34:56
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm telling you, when you engage in soul care, there is no amount of timely.
• 35:00
  SPEAKER_00: It could be 15 minutes, it can be 10 minutes.
• 35:03
  SPEAKER_00: People say I don't have time, yes, you do.
• 35:05
  SPEAKER_00: You have time to nourish your soul.
• 35:07
  SPEAKER_00: And by gosh, you need to in this world.
• 35:09
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, absolutely.
• 35:10
  SPEAKER_01: I think what's an important piece in there is like just writing down the simplest things, right?
• 35:15
  SPEAKER_01: That bring you joy and going back.
• 35:18
  SPEAKER_01: Like if you if you feel like like nothing brings me joy, and I know people feel like that on certain days, and like you know, you have good days and bad days.
• 35:25
  SPEAKER_01: Everybody does, and some you have to realize that your bad day is probably something someone else would wish for, you know.
• 35:33
  SPEAKER_01: Like that's what I always try to think about.
• 35:34
  SPEAKER_01: It's like, oh geez, get over it.
• 35:36
  SPEAKER_01: Like, yeah, oh, there isn't enough sun.
• 35:38
  SPEAKER_01: Oh, please, like, get over it, you know.
• 35:40
  SPEAKER_01: And my mom tells me every single day, because she works in a cancer center, she's like, Lee, we have no problems every single day.
• 35:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I know that, but it's always a nice reminder, you know.
• 35:49
  SPEAKER_01: It's like a yeah, perspective, right?
• 35:51
  SPEAKER_01: But I think one of the things, like, write your big dreams down, write the big joys down.
• 35:57
  SPEAKER_01: Like yesterday, I had some fun, like saying, Here are the podcast guests I want this year, you know, and Tom Brady's on there, the rock's on there, Gary Lee's on there.
• 36:05
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah, you know, speaking with you.
• 36:08
  SPEAKER_01: I mean, you know, it's just put it down.
• 36:11
  SPEAKER_01: Like someone laughs, like, go for it.
• 36:12
  SPEAKER_01: Like, I that's uh that's what I think.
• 36:14
  SPEAKER_01: Like it's just it's it's your dream, you own it, and the way that you get it is you act on it, you work on it.
• 36:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the other thing that people need to realize, and I bet this is in your book, is like you're in control of it.
• 36:27
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, no one's gonna come do the work for you, right?
• 36:30
  SPEAKER_01: So I think it's important for people to realize that they have to actually do the work, write it down, think about it.
• 36:35
  SPEAKER_01: What are the action steps?
• 36:36
  SPEAKER_01: Okay, to get there, this is what I have to do.
• 36:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I always say to begin, begin, like start.
• 36:41
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, one baby step.
• 36:43
  SPEAKER_01: One baby step is starting.
• 36:44
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and sometimes it's hard to start.
• 36:47
  SPEAKER_01: So I think you know, when people are starting to wanting to be more joyful, they write what brings them joy down and just start acting on it, right?
• 36:54
  SPEAKER_01: If it's you said if it's like it's cooking or sleeping or taking a new class or just begin.
• 37:01
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, just begin.
• 37:02
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, and and try not to let other people stop you from reaching your highest joy, right?
• 37:09
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that's the one thing I want to end on is like when you're trying, like you have a group of people or people in your life that aren't actually supporting you.
• 37:18
  SPEAKER_01: What do you do?
• 37:19
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I talked a little about on LinkedIn this week about your inner circle and how it's really important.
• 37:24
  SPEAKER_01: This was a learning for me because I like let everybody in like, come on in, like I'm gonna give you all I have and I'm gonna show up for you 100%.
• 37:32
  SPEAKER_01: But what I realized is like everybody was, and what was happening is that was actually bringing me down or making me sad or stopping me.
• 37:39
  SPEAKER_01: So, what's your advice for you know, whether that's a joy killer or somebody that doesn't want you to be joyful because that might actually reflect back to them that they're not joyful.
• 37:48
  SPEAKER_00: So I you you nailed it.
• 37:50
  SPEAKER_00: There's two kinds of people in this world are dream killers and dream builders.
• 37:54
  SPEAKER_00: And so what I would say is you need to recognize who in your life are dream killers and dream builders.
• 37:59
  SPEAKER_00: And sometimes your dream killers are your mom, your dad, somebody close to you that you can't disassociate yourself from, but you absolutely need to be able to weigh their words, weigh their opinions.
• 38:10
  SPEAKER_00: There are some people, there's a there's a phrase called crabs in the bucket that I've known for years.
• 38:15
  SPEAKER_00: And it just means you're getting out, you're about to climb out of the bucket.
• 38:18
  SPEAKER_00: And some people cannot do what you do, um, do not have the skills, or have either squandered their opportunities.
• 38:25
  SPEAKER_00: And so they're gonna pull you back down that bucket to make themselves feel good about themselves.
• 38:29
  SPEAKER_00: So you've got to be mindful of that.
• 38:30
  SPEAKER_00: I tell people, sometimes you can love people from a distance.
• 38:34
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you don't need to tell everybody, like you said, what I'm doing.
• 38:38
  SPEAKER_00: My girlfriend is so smart.
• 38:39
  SPEAKER_00: She said, Rachel, you've got an auditorium.
• 38:42
  SPEAKER_00: And the auditorium are the people in your life.
• 38:44
  SPEAKER_00: You and I'd used to be just like you, Lee.
• 38:46
  SPEAKER_00: I had let everybody know.
• 38:47
  SPEAKER_00: I loved everybody, I let everybody in.
• 38:49
  SPEAKER_00: She said, honey, there's some people that need to go to the back row or they need to go to the second row, the balcony.
• 38:54
  SPEAKER_00: Not everybody needs to be in that front row and get that up-close experience.
• 38:58
  SPEAKER_00: And so I would just encourage people to be evaluate lovingly and respectfully who in their life are dream killers and who in their life are dream builders and lean into those dream builders.
• 39:08
  SPEAKER_00: Let them help you.
• 39:09
  SPEAKER_00: You know, lean into people that want to mentor you and guide you.
• 39:12
  SPEAKER_00: And and and I like you, my greatest joy in the world is connecting people.
• 39:16
  SPEAKER_00: I love connecting people, helping people.
• 39:19
  SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm not stingy with my contacts.
• 39:21
  SPEAKER_00: You know, if somebody says, I really want to meet so-and-so and and you're doing it, you're doing the thing, you're putting in the work, I'm gonna, I'm gonna introduce you.
• 39:27
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we're here for, to be connectors, in my opinion.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, yeah.
• 39:30
  SPEAKER_01: I think of it like you said auditorium, I think of it like a bullseye.
• 39:33
  SPEAKER_01: You know, I used to let everyone into the middle and now I have my rings.
• 39:37
  SPEAKER_01: And it doesn't mean you don't love them, and it doesn't mean their intent wasn't positive or sportive.
• 39:42
  SPEAKER_01: It just means they may not be understanding that they're not helping you.
• 39:46
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that comes with probably, you know, experience and age, but the sooner you learn that the better, I think, in the sense of, you know, everyone may not understand they're not helping you, right?
• 39:58
  SPEAKER_01: Because they want to protect you or keep you from something, or they they grew up in a different time or whatever it may be.
• 40:03
  SPEAKER_01: Or they're actually just really unhappy people who only thing they had in common with you was misery.
• 40:08
  SPEAKER_01: So when you're happy, they don't know what to do.
• 40:12
  SPEAKER_00: So true.
• 40:13
  SPEAKER_00: So true.
• 40:14
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah, so wonderful.
• 40:15
  SPEAKER_01: So your book comes out in June.
• 40:17
  SPEAKER_01: Uh so we're excited to to see that and to hear about it.
• 40:20
  SPEAKER_01: More information about that is in the episode notes for everyone.
• 40:23
  SPEAKER_01: And then all information about Rachel and what she does with changing the narrative for you to check into is as well.
• 40:29
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you so much, Rachel, for being on the bold lounge.
• 40:32
  SPEAKER_01: I really appreciate being able to spend time with you this morning.
• 40:35
  SPEAKER_00: No, thank you.
• 40:36
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like I got plugged in.
• 40:37
  SPEAKER_00: You know, sometimes we just need to unplug sometimes and then some, you know, and and reboot and get plugged in.
• 40:42
  SPEAKER_00: And then sometimes you spend time with with people that you're like, wow, okay, I'm I'm jacked, you know, like I'm good, like I'm set.
• 40:49
  SPEAKER_00: And so thank you for uh pouring into me and sharing your wisdom and your talent and allowing me, you know, allowing me to speak here to all the people that know you, love you, respect you, and that that will hear this podcast.
• 41:01
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm deeply grateful.
• 41:02
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you.
• 41:06
  SPEAKER_01: Thank you for listening to the Bold Lounge Podcast.
• 41:09
  SPEAKER_01: Through the continuum of bold stories, from vulnerability to taking the leap, you will meet more extraordinary people making a positive impact for others through their unique and important stories.
• 41:19
  SPEAKER_01: By highlighting these stories, we hope to inspire others to share the journey of the old.
• 41:24
  SPEAKER_01: We hope you've enjoyed this podcast and support to sharing the next bold journey.