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EP.110: The Role of Self-Trust in Business Growth & Leadership | The Ambitious Podcast · Ambitious Podcast

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Am I the problem? Is it me and the way that I am
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showing up? You start strong, but you lose
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momentum very quickly. You are asking everybody for
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their opinion before you're making a decision.
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You can have the perfect funnel, the perfect offer, the perfect
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brand, the perfect sales process and you will self sabotage it.
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Your business will never be stable if you as the founder,
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you as the CEO, you as the operator yourself are not
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stable. You are actually the thing that
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makes your business stable, not your strategy.
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Every day that you point, the strategy is the problem.
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Strategy is the problem strategy is the problem, is a day that
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you are ignoring the possible culprit, that you are actually
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the common denominator. It's not about blame, it's
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actually about opportunity. If you don't have the results
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that you want in your life or in your business that you actually
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have the ability to completely change the outcome and the
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pathway that you're going to go down.
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Hello and welcome back to Ambitious.
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Today we are talking all about self trust and that is because I
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work with scaling entrepreneurs every single day who believe
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that there's got to be something wrong with their strategy.
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There has to be something wrong when it comes to their
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marketing, when it comes to their sales, something when it
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comes to their offer or team. And it's not to say that when
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you are struggling to grow that there's not something there that
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needs to be audited or adjusted. But I think oftentimes a lot of
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us miss looking at ourselves in the mirror and asking ourselves
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that critical question, which is, am I the problem?
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Is it me and the way that I'm integrating this strategy or the
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way that I am showing up with my team or the way that I am
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executing this, that actually is the reason that it's not
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working. And so today I want to help you
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to see the impact and the significance of why your trust
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within yourself could actually very well be the reason that the
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strategies of the tactics are the things that you're trying to
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execute right now are actually not working.
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So today what I want to do is I want to breakdown why self trust
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is such a crucial skill of the most successful entrepreneurs.
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We're going to talk about ways to identify that you actually
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are not someone who trusts yourself within your business.
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And also I'm going to be giving you some instructions as to if
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you want to start to flex this muscle better or more, what are
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ways that you could start to do that and how you're going to see
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that muscle show up in the results of your business.
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So one of the first things that I want to kind of get clear on
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is what actually self trust is, because I think even, you know,
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as you may start today and you're listening, you think I
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trust myself, right? Like I trust myself in business.
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I make a decision and I'm like, OK, you know, I, I believe that
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that's the right thing to do. I trust myself.
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But I think a lot of us see it on a very shallow level.
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And so I literally wanted to outline what are some of the
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ways that you can audit yourself to say, do I really on a deep
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level trust myself? So self trust is the ability to
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believe your own decisions. So if you've ever had one of
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those moments where you make a decision, you go, oh, shoot,
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like, I hope that this is right or I hope that that was the the
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right thing to do. The second piece is the ability
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to follow through with what you say you're going to do or what
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you say you will do. Because one of the things that
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we know is that when you say you're going to do something and
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you don't follow through on it or you don't actually complete
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it, it actually further gives you evidence that you can't
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trust yourself. Because it really is the
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cognitive dissonance between what you think you are versus
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what you actually are or what you think you're going to do
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versus what you actually do. And so that on a deep level
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actually does create a inner conflict within us as leaders.
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Also, the ability to hold discomfort.
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This is so important to hold discomfort in moments of growth
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without abandoning yourself. I want to make this one really
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clear, the ability to hold discomfort of growth without
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self abandonment. One of the things that we see
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all the time is that there are people who can grow and scale
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their businesses, but it's often at what cost.
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Are you sacrificing yourself in the process of growth?
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And when you're growing, what does your time with yourself and
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your own experience feel like and look like in those really
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tough seasons? Do you abandon yourself in those
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intense seasons of momentum, those intense seasons of
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scaling? And it also is the ability to
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stay in leadership even when results are not immediate.
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One of the things a lot of people struggle with, especially
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if you have team members, you may feel like, you know, when
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you're in these tough seasons, you're like, everybody's looking
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to me for an answer. Everybody's looking to me too,
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you know, know what to do next or to know how to solve this
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problem. And one of the things that we
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know of leaders who have a lot of self trust is number one,
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they can acknowledge that they are in a season of discomfort or
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that they are in a season of uncertainty.
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Leadership, you know, trusting yourself is not saying or
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denying or ignoring the reality of the environment that you're
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in. It's saying, hey, I trust myself
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enough to acknowledge the difficult circumstance that
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we're in, to voice that to the people around around me and to
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trust myself that I'm going to find a way out of it.
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And so with this, I want to be clear that self trust is not
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about, you know, confidence. It's not about the fact that
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you're perfect. It's not even the fact that you
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always have all of the answers. It's actually that you trust
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yourself to figure it out. And the way that I think about
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this on a very, very simple level, if I think about defining
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self trust is if your back is against the wall and everyone is
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looking to you to have a solution to save the day, how
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much do you trust yourself to solve and work that problem?
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And this is, again, not to say that you're not going to be
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messy. It's not to say that you have,
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you know, full confidence the entire way along.
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I even myself would say I have very high self trust, but I have
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moments where I'm low confidence, meaning, you know, I
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trust myself to navigate, but it's not like I'm feeling above
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the world and that I, you know, need no support and everything's
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amazing. What I know more than anything
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is that I don't have to always be motivated.
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I don't have to always be perfect.
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I don't even always have to know and have the utmost confidence
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that I'm going to save the day, but I trust myself to figure it
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out. I trust myself to navigate
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problems. I trust myself to process the
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emotion. I trust myself that I am
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somebody who regardless of what is put in front of me, I will
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find a way. And so self trust and not that
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muscle is something that is really important for you to ask
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yourself if you have, because a lot of us think we do, but then
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we start to audit and we ask ourselves, OK, whoa, maybe I
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don't have self trust. So I want to kind of give you
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some things that you can look at to say, OK, do I really have
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that muscle? Is that a skill that I have?
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I'm gonna break these into sections and I wanted to
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organize them because I think that there are like ways that
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this will show up in the different departments of your
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business or the different kind of, I guess I should say, skills
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or themes of your business. One is in decision making.
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This is a really easy indicator for a lot of people.
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So first is you are asking everybody for their opinion
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before you're making a decision. I even see this with people who
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are not working with me. They'll say, you know, oh, I
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have to talk to my my business coach to see what they say and
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get their opinion. I'm like, your business coach is
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not the person who's running your business.
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Your business coach is just that, a coach.
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They're a consultant, just as I am for my clients.
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I don't tell my clients. Ignore all your intuition, don't
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trust yourself. Ditch your own thought processes
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and decisions and do what I say. It's about me as a coach saying
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here's my advisement, here's my information, and your job is to
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have discernment and to have interpretation of that
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information to say what feels right about that for me.
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So when I see people who need to make a decision in their
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business and they need to talk to 23456 people before making
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the decision, that tells me they don't trust themselves.
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It's not about them getting consult.
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They're looking for validation. They're looking for someone
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else, basically to tell them what it is that they need to do.
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The other one is that they delay decisions until the opportunity
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has come and gone. So it's like, yeah, I'm thinking
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about it. Yeah, I'm planning on it.
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Yeah. I, I, I have been, you know,
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sitting with that. And then before you know it,
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the, the moment the opportunity has come and it has left.
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And because you took so long to make a decision, basically
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nothing happened at all. Also changing directions
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constantly. This one's very easy to audit
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because you probably will say, you know, something along the
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lines of I want to have a big team.
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No, I'm actually, you know what? I, I'm deciding that I only want
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a small team or I want to go high ticket.
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And then next thing you know, you're creating a passive offer
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or you feel like you're like, OK, yes, I want to, I want to
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launch this thing and do this thing.
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But then you're switching the total other side of the spectrum
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basically overnight. This is not to say that you
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can't make strategy changes in the moment where it makes sense.
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But it's to say that if your vision is changing so rapidly,
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so constantly for yourself and for your business, it's that you
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don't really trust the initial vision that you had, which is
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why you're searching for more. And ultimately, you need
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reassurance before you move. And this like we often talk
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about success, love, speed, right?
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So the fact that if you have this intuition, if you have this
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idea that it's not about you sitting with it, processing it,
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ruminating on it, it's about saying 321 go.
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I have to have a short of a span between the idea that I have and
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the execution of that or the idea that I have and the killing
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of that idea because it's not going to make sense for me.
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When you are constantly needing validation, what you're doing is
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you're really stretching out this process of how long it
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takes you to gather information to make a decision.
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And that's the thing that's capping your scaling.
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It's that you're asking 15 people before you decide.
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You're going back and forth between the different ideas that
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you have. You need reassurance from
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everybody before you take action and you need to feel 100%
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certain before you move. So this is where it's self
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trust. Again, ties into scaling is that
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if you don't trust yourself, you're losing tons of time and
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tons of opportunity in those moments.
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Now, this also shows up when people are executing.
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So one of the pieces that I noted is that you start strong,
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but you lose momentum very quickly.
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So like you trust yourself when you start, you're excited,
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you've got the dopamine, you're like, yes, OK, we're crushing.
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Like this is the new idea. I'm so pumped and jazzed about
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it. Then you get into the weeds.
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And because you're not in the dopamine center, because you're
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not having these like, boosts of excitement, you kind of end up
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in just what I consider to be like the boring part of
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execution, which is that it isn't exciting and that it's
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not, you know, liberating every 5 seconds.
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But you trust yourself to see it through.
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If someone doesn't trust themselves, they'll have this
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idea, they'll have this dopamine hit of this big exciting thing.
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And then you lose momentum and you go, oh, this is not as
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exciting anymore, I'm moving on. And so it's this constant kind
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of chase of that dopamine because you don't trust yourself
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to see it through also, which again is a really clear
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indicator you are procrastinating on those high
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ROI tasks. And this is something that is
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actually quite a deep one, which is honestly would like need its
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own, you know, 1520 minutes to dive into.
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But when someone knows what they need to do and you know what you
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need to do right now in your business and you're not doing
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it, there is actually a deep level of lack of trust for
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yourself, of trust of what it takes to get there.
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So not being interested in doing the hard work and delaying or
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procrastinating what you know it's going to take for you to
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see momentum or also not trusting yourself to receive
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what is going to be coming to you.
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So when we execute on something that we have a, you know, goal
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or a focus is going to generate a certain result for us.
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Sometimes we're so resistant as to who we would need to become
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if that actually occurred. And we are so resistant to what
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we would need to do in ourselves and, and how we would need to
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step up that we actually push it away.
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So I saw this with someone recently because they did a
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launch and they really, they were excited about it.
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They were like, OK, like 321-GO, I can't, I can't wait to launch
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this. I can't wait to do it.
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And then they go into they go into launching it and before you
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know it, they kind of start to step back and they start to push
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back and not not be marketing anymore and not really selling
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and not really doing the actions that it would take for them to
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launch this offer. And so I'm watching this on the
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sidelines. I'm thinking this is really
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interesting. And they were so excited.
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Why are they now not doing the things that they fully know
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would generate this being successful?
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Well, it's because this person had never been that type of
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entrepreneur before. They were launching a new chain
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to their business. That meant they had to operate
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in a new way. They'd to serve people in a new
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way. They had to market in a new way.
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They'd sell in a new way. Like it required a lot of new of
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them. So while the concept and the
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idea was exciting to them, they didn't really feel excited about
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getting people enrolled into this new side of their business
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or into this new offer. Because there was like, Oh my
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God, if I do that, then they're in.
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And if they're in, then I have to serve them.
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And if I have to serve them, this is what's required of me.
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So unintentionally, this is not a conscious thing, it's
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unconscious. This person started to back
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away. They started to back away from
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the things that was going to be required of them.
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They started to back away from the hard work.
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They backed away also, which is a big indicator from difficult
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conversations. This is another thing that I saw
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with them is that they were avoiding the hard conversations
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that were needed and they were avoiding doing the hard work,
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frankly. And that's because those were
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going to connect to needing to step into a higher level version
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of themselves and they weren't ready to consciously do that.
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When you're somebody who avoids the hard thing, it could be a
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hard conversation with a team member.
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It could be a hard conversation, even with a client.
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And in this instance, it was, you know, truthfully, I could
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notice. And I called her out on it.
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I said, you're avoiding me in this experience because you know
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for a fact what I'm going to tell you.
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And so she's like, honestly, yeah, I was avoiding texting
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you. I was avoiding talking to you
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about it because I knew the advice that you were going to
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give me. And I just felt so like I wasn't
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ready. I set this big vision, I set
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this big goal. And then I realized I wasn't
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following through. And frankly, I was like
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embarrassed. So there's times where people
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really avoid because they recognize that in achieving the
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thing that you say that you want, you're going to have to
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have a different level of you that shows up.
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You're going to have to operate differently, make decisions
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differently. You're going to start opening a
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door that once it's open, cannot be closed.
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And so it makes sense that you have resistance, but the thing
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that's going to help you to overcome that is you have to
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trust yourself to navigate it. This is where all this comes
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back to. The other thing that we see is
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people who overcomplicate what are actually simple things.
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This is something that a lot of people don't catch.
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And This is why, you know, mindset work.
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I think it's a bad rap. People think about mindset work
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as like manifestation and they think about it as, you know,
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sitting in the corner meditating.
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It's not that mindset work shows up in our business so blatantly
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obvious, but we can't see it because we're inside of it.
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And so I see this when someone needs to do something that I
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know for a fact is very simple to achieve and they will
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overcomplicate it. And so they'll say, you know,
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let's say we're doing a launch, like great, you have to do ABC,
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get these three things done and then we're great.
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We're good to press go, OK, well, what about the subject
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line? And what about this call to
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action? And what about this copy
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structure? And what about this post?
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And what about the timing of this?
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And what about, and I said, hey, pause, you're getting into the
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weeds because by you being in the weeds and being distracted
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and getting into all these little nuanced pieces, it's a
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easy, socially acceptable way for you to postpone your launch.
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And that is because you don't trust yourself to launch this.
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You don't trust yourself to execute it.
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You don't trust yourself to be able to handle it if it doesn't
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get the specific target that you're looking for.
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You don't trust yourself to see it through in whatever form that
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takes. And so instead, you're hiding in
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the weeds, calling it, you know, strategy, calling it execution,
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calling it, you know, you know, crossing the T's and dotting the
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IS when you and I both know that you are way postponing this and
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way overcomplicating it because you just don't trust yourself to
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do it. And it's a hard conversation
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because we have to realize we're the block, right?
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So as I said to the beginning, there's times when the thing
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that you're doing strategically is not actually the issue.
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Your execution of that, yourself trust in the execution of that
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strategy is actually the thing that will allow it to shine.
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The other thing that we see this in is also leadership.
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So you are outsourcing a lot of decision making to people.
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You're outsourcing responsibility and you don't
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trust yourself to make the decision.
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So this is where you know someone needs to make a decision
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as ACEO and it's like, oh, I'm going to ask my marketing person
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like what she wants to do. I'm going to ask my operations
18:24
person what she wants to do. And I am just going to take a
18:28
little segue here. This is actually what I taught
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to one of my clients. There's 3 levels of decisions
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within a, within a team, within a business #1 level of decision
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making is that you are consulting nobody around you and
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you're making the ultimate decision as the CEO.
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So that's level 1. Level 2 is that you are going to
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consult your team, right? You're going to have a
18:50
discussion, but you're ultimately going to make the
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decision, which means that you're going to have a
18:53
discussion, but you have the final say. 3rd is that you're
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going to have a discussion with your team and that as a
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collective, you're all going to come to an agreement before
19:03
making the decision. So those are three hierarchies
19:06
of decision making. As a leader, do it on your own.
19:09
Do it on your own but with consult of your team or do it
19:12
completely 100% as a team. So we need to understand that
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when we go into decision making, if we're like just delegating
19:21
decisions all the time to other people, because we don't trust
19:24
ourselves to be the one who puts the stamp of like this is what
19:27
we're doing. That's actually because we don't
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trust ourselves to be the one connected to the decision.
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And also because we don't trust ourselves to be the person who's
19:35
responsible for the outcome of that.
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What you're really doing when you're delegating decision
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making ongoing and all the time, whether it's to a coach, A-Team
19:44
member, a peer, a friend, whatever it might be.
19:48
What you're really doing when you're constantly getting
19:49
consult from other people and trying to get them to make the
19:53
decision for you is you're basically saying to yourself, if
19:57
I consult all these people and I get all their information and
20:01
they tell me what to do and then I just take the decision based
20:03
off what they told me. When everything goes well, OK,
20:07
great, I'm still involved and when everything doesn't go well,
20:10
I don't have to take responsibility for it because
20:12
it's what so and so told me to do.
20:15
So again, it really comes back to self trust.
20:18
This is another one for all of you leaders.
20:20
This is with clients or the team.
20:22
You do not invite feedback. The amount of times that someone
20:27
will say to me that they know a client is upset, but they're
20:29
like, oh, I don't want to have to like get on a call with them.
20:32
Or they know a team member, you know is going to have some
20:36
feedback for them, but they're like, oh, I don't want to have
20:39
this hard conversation. You will avoid feedback if you
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don't trust yourself to receive it.
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And so self trust is the ability to go into the the lion's den,
20:50
if you will, of an experience and trust yourself to navigate
20:54
that feedback and trust yourself to know what to do next, how to
20:57
receive it, how to process it. You have to trust yourself to be
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in that environment. And so when someone doesn't
21:03
trust themselves, they will typically avoid feedback.
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They will avoid the difficult conversation, which in turn
21:09
means that you're actually not getting crucial information that
21:12
could help you to grow and scale your business.
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So this is again, they all connect.
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They all domino into stalling your ability to scale.
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The other thing that I would also say is more on emotional
21:23
level is that you always feel behind and you feel like you're
21:27
doing it, quote UN quote wrong. And I will say this was for me,
21:32
the biggest indicator that I, I did trust myself is that I am
21:37
somebody who never, I wouldn't say had ever in my entire career
21:41
feels behind. And that's because I recognize
21:45
that like all of us have our own pace, all of us have the
21:48
different strategies that we're executing.
21:49
All of us have different vision, different goals.
21:52
And I trust in my execution and how I show up each day, what it
21:57
is that I execute, the steps that I take, the work that I'm
22:01
focusing on today, I trust that. So because of that, I trust the
22:06
outcomes that those deliver. If I trust the way that I show
22:10
up, I trust the results of that produce.
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If you don't trust your vision, if you don't trust your
22:15
strategy, and therefore if you don't trust that you're going to
22:18
be consistent, you will always feel behind.
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You will never trust what it is that you're doing.
22:24
And you will also feel probably 9 times out of 10, a lot of
22:27
comparison. People are going faster than me.
22:30
Other people are getting results quicker than me.
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That person feels like they have it easier than me.
22:35
And you start to really question yourself like, am I enough?
22:38
Am I doing it wrong? Is this right?
22:41
What do I not getting that these other people seem to understand?
22:45
And so when you compare yourself to other people, it's really
22:48
because you don't trust yourself.
22:52
So we see comparison as this invitation for us to realize
22:56
that comparison is not about the person that you're consuming.
22:59
So if there's someone on the Internet that you consume that
23:01
you've needed to mute or that you needed to block even, or
23:04
you're like, I'm unfollowing them.
23:07
What I recognize in those moments is like, yeah, sure.
23:09
Like if someone is impacting your inner peace, there's no
23:12
need for you to be around that. But if this is something that
23:16
you find ongoing is something that quote UN quote triggers
23:20
you, meaning that you kind of feel a little bit comparison
23:23
with a lot of people or you feel a little bit triggered by a lot
23:26
of people online that you're behind, that you're not doing
23:29
enough. They make you feel like you're
23:30
not enough. That's not them, that's you,
23:35
that's you not having trust in yourself and that you don't feel
23:39
whole, which is why when you go consume, it takes pieces of you
23:44
you haven't completed and protected yourself.
23:47
So because of that, when you go, it literally sucks all your
23:49
energy. But that also is because you're
23:51
allowing it to do so because you're not complete before you
23:55
go out and consume that. So whenever someone says that
23:58
they are, you know, having a lot of comparison or they feel
24:03
behind or they're struggling to see so and so on the Internet
24:06
doing XYZ, there is this aspect of that's an invitation for a
24:11
reflection for us. But if that's something that
24:14
ongoing impacts you, I want you to ask yourself, what would it
24:18
look like if you trusted your own timing?
24:21
What would it look like if you trusted your way and your
24:24
approach and your strategy? What would it look like if you
24:27
trusted your journey and your results?
24:29
What would it look like if you trusted yourself?
24:33
And I think it's just something that a lot of people don't do.
24:36
Now, obviously we see this tie between this lack of self trust
24:41
and strategy. There's ways of, you know,
24:42
delayed decision making, spending time on things,
24:44
delegating decisions to your team.
24:46
Like it can seep into like a spider web, all of these
24:49
elements of your business, but ultimately you can have the
24:54
perfect funnel, the perfect offer, the perfect brand, the
24:58
perfect sales process, and you will self sabotage it.
25:04
That's what it comes down to. How we see self trust show up
25:08
within a strategy is that you will actually through delayed
25:11
decision making and not, you know, being able to have the
25:15
delayed gratification of putting in the work without an instant
25:18
result. You will abandoned the plan, as
25:20
we said, and you'll not want to do it because it's not as sexy
25:24
and exciting anymore. And now that it's getting a
25:26
little bit neutral and not as exciting, you don't trust
25:29
yourself to navigate that season.
25:31
There will be all these things that will start to show.
25:34
And as a result, your strategy could have been top notch, but
25:39
because you could not see it through, you're not ever going
25:42
to see the benefit or the the outcome or the result that was
25:46
possible from that strategy. And so then what ends up
25:49
happening is you're wondering why your business doesn't feel
25:53
safe. You're asking yourself, OK,
25:55
well, if I want to feel like the strategy is working for me, I
25:58
wanna feel like the strategy is giving me what I need.
26:01
Then, you know, if it's not working, the strategy must be
26:04
broken. But let's go back to that
26:05
example of the launch. If somebody is doing a launch
26:10
and they're not doing the things and showing up in the way that
26:12
they would need to to get the results.
26:15
If they are delaying, you know, decisions that need to be made
26:18
for that launch that would help it to pivot to get the best
26:21
result. If they are somebody who's
26:24
getting into the weeds of their e-mail sequences and content
26:26
because they believe by doing that, that that's going to be
26:29
the thing that allows this launch to blow up.
26:32
You can see all these little pieces, these little tiny
26:35
adjustments that are rooted in lack of self trust are actually
26:40
compounding to put brakes in the launch.
26:43
So then what ends up happening is your launch doesn't go to
26:46
plan. You don't get the outcome that
26:47
you want. You don't see the results that
26:49
you're looking for and you go, oh, stupid launch strategy
26:51
didn't work. Whenever someone, like for the
26:55
example of launching, when someone launches and they don't
26:58
see the result that they're looking for or they don't see
27:00
the outcome that they had anticipated that they believe
27:03
should have happened, the first thing that I do is I look at
27:06
their role in the launch. Because truthfully, yes, if you
27:10
went into a launch and you had no strategy, there's a high
27:12
possibility that the thing that you're doing didn't work because
27:16
there was no strategy. But there's also a possibility
27:19
that you had a great strategy, but you, the person who was
27:22
operating behind it, didn't do what was needed to allow it to
27:26
be successful. Like there's people who launch
27:29
who will get inquiries and then they will feel overwhelmed by
27:32
the inquiries and they never answer the messages.
27:35
Like, do you know how many people I've talked to, and it's
27:37
very common who will have, you know, applications coming in
27:41
that they don't follow up with? They have DMS coming in that
27:44
they don't follow up with. And that's because it's a
27:46
mindset thing. It's not a strategy thing
27:49
because you're thinking, well, why would someone who wants to
27:52
make sales have these inquiries to work with them and not answer
27:56
those? That makes literally no sense.
27:59
But it does make sense because if they enroll all these people,
28:02
they have to serve them. And if they have to serve them,
28:04
a different person is going to be required to show up and to
28:08
serve all those clients then maybe the person they feel that
28:10
they are right now. So in an act of avoidance, they
28:13
avoid, they avoid the conversation, they avoid posting
28:16
on social, they avoid sending that e-mail because they know
28:19
that if I execute this, it could generate clients for me.
28:23
And if it generates clients for me, I may have to serve those
28:25
clients. And if I serve those clients,
28:27
that's going to require XYZ of me.
28:29
And I'm not ready to do that. So instead, they go back to the
28:31
front and they just sabotage it by not putting things up, by not
28:35
answering messages, by not sending the e-mail.
28:38
And so strategy is something that becomes successful because
28:44
of the person who's operating it.
28:46
So one of the things that is important for you to know is
28:50
that your business will never be stable if you as the founder,
28:55
you as the CEO, you as the operator yourself are not
29:00
stable. You are actually the thing that
29:03
makes your business stable, not your strategy because strategies
29:07
are going to come and go strategies and, and you know,
29:11
things that are executing and marketing or things are
29:13
executing it in your, you know, sales process or your offer.
29:16
Those are going to come and go. Those are going to be things
29:19
that you know, in this season you're doing this and this
29:21
season you're doing that. The through line is you.
29:25
You are the through line of your business.
29:29
So if your business does not feel stable, it is because you
29:32
as the CEO are not the rock of stability from which it's
29:37
connected. So I don't want you to feel like
29:41
those people who you watch, who feel like they just have like so
29:45
much ease. Everything's so stable.
29:47
Everything's so predictable, everything's so consistent.
29:49
It's not that they don't have problems.
29:51
It's not that they don't have things that come up or things
29:54
that they're navigating. The difference is that they
29:56
trust themselves no matter the fire, no matter what they
30:00
experience, no matter what comes up to handle it.
30:05
We talk a lot about with scaling that it's not the absence of
30:10
problems in scaling, it's the perspective around those
30:12
problems. So this is where the trust comes
30:15
in, because the perspective shift is you trust yourself to
30:19
navigate it. There are people I want you to
30:21
think of like as an analogy. You're in the water and you're
30:24
surfing and you see a really, really big wave and you're like,
30:28
whoa, this is much bigger of a wave that I'm used to.
30:30
OK, so you see this and you see the wave, and it's much bigger
30:35
than you're used to. But there's the person A who
30:38
sees the big wave while surfing and goes, never mind, I'm going
30:41
back to shore, screw this, I'm out of here.
30:44
And then there's the person who goes, OK, I've seen a wave like
30:47
this before. I know what to do.
30:49
You breathe. You realize that if I try to go
30:53
under, I could get squashed by the wave if I don't catch it,
30:56
right? And if that happens, I have
30:58
experienced that before, but I also could go under and end up
31:02
on the other side of the wave and it crashes behind me and I
31:04
don't get impacted at all. So they weigh out that in the
31:08
event I get crushed, I'll be fine and I'll handle that.
31:11
And in the event that I get through, I know how to handle
31:14
that. And they still 321 go.
31:16
They go under the wave. Self trust is the ability in
31:22
those moments, those critical little moments, and they happen
31:24
a million times a day. They happen every day for you.
31:27
They happen every week, every month.
31:29
That's the difference of the person who's still out there
31:32
surfing versus you, who could be in certain moments or certain
31:37
seasons of your business, you're sitting on shore watching those
31:39
people surf and you go, oh, I struggle with comparison.
31:44
They're further ahead than me. They trusted themselves to get
31:47
under the weight. They trusted themselves that
31:49
even in the event that the wave crushed them, they would take a
31:53
couple breaths and they'd start paddling back out.
31:56
Those who don't trust themselves go back to shore and then sit
32:00
there frustrated, watching everybody surf the way that they
32:03
wish they could. But the difference is you don't
32:06
have different tools. You both have a surfboard.
32:09
You've both got arms to go and paddle out there.
32:12
The difference is that they were OK to get crushed.
32:14
They trusted themselves and they were OK to risk getting crushed
32:18
to be able to have the possibility of success.
32:22
The difference is they didn't stop paddling and they didn't go
32:25
back to shore. They stayed out in the water.
32:28
So yourself, trust is not a matter of resources, it's your
32:33
strategy is the equivalent of that surfboard.
32:36
You both have surfboards, you've both got strategies, you both
32:39
have business things that you can execute, but the person on
32:44
the board is just as important as the waves and it's just as
32:47
important as the board itself. And So what I see nine times out
32:51
of 10 is that people will blame the board.
32:53
They're like, oh, stupid board is the reason that we're not the
32:57
stupid strategy is the reason that I'm not growing or scaling
33:00
this, you know, the water, which is like the environment of the
33:02
market or my clients or the people in my DMS.
33:05
They're the problem. Like it's this constant finger
33:09
pointing somebody else, something else.
33:11
This thing is the reason that I'm not growing.
33:14
And instead, I want you to ask yourself, in the last six months
33:17
to 12 months, how many times have you paddled back to shore?
33:23
How many times have you seen a wave and thought, oh, that's
33:25
stretchy for me, Turn around. How many times have you trusted
33:30
yourself to get crushed by a wave?
33:33
And how many times have you trusted yourself that you could
33:36
get crushed by a wave? And you've ended up on the other
33:38
side and now the waves behind you, and you're still out in
33:41
this beautiful, serene water. It doesn't take a lot for us to
33:46
realize where we're sabotaging ourselves.
33:48
We just have to have a really honest conversation.
33:50
And for me, even I still have this.
33:53
I'm not telling you this from my high horse up here, that I don't
33:55
have this myself. I, for example, trust myself a
34:00
lot, a lot in business. I would not say, though, in the
34:05
contrast, that I trust myself a lot when it comes to personal
34:09
buckets for me. So one of the places that I
34:13
sabotage a lot is with my health.
34:17
Like, I know what's required of me.
34:20
I fully understand what I need to do.
34:22
I have an understanding of the strategy, you know, going to the
34:25
gym, getting my steps, what I need to eat, all of that.
34:28
But I also recognize that, you know, for me, I had to have this
34:32
conversation with myself, which I know sounds silly, but I have
34:34
this conversation with myself, which was like, Kate, you know
34:37
what to do. You know how to eat.
34:39
You know what to do for your workouts.
34:40
You know how to get your steps in.
34:42
You know what to do with your sleep.
34:43
You know how to regulate, regulate your emotions and
34:45
therefore regulate your hormones.
34:46
Like you know how to, you know what to do.
34:50
The reason that I was not doing it is because I recognize that
34:56
in stepping back into being fit the way that I used to be fit,
35:00
it meant that I was going to show up as a different person.
35:03
And I at the time, wasn't really sure that I was ready to be that
35:06
person. I didn't trust myself to to live
35:08
that lifestyle. I didn't trust myself to be her
35:11
again. So I self sabotage.
35:13
I would be really, really consistent and then I would just
35:15
stop. I would start to see results and
35:17
I'd have one day where I felt like I wasn't seeing the
35:20
momentum that I wanted. And I'd be like, oh see, this
35:22
doesn't work. And I would find evidence to
35:23
prove what I wanted to be true, which was that I wasn't going to
35:27
see progress and it wasn't going to happen for me.
35:30
And instead, what I had to realize is that the way this
35:34
analogy came up is that I thought of this when I was
35:37
journaling. I said, girl, you're literally
35:39
making progress out in the water and then you're stopping
35:42
paddling. No shit, you're not making
35:44
progress. No wonder you're not getting
35:47
where you want to go. As soon as you get close, you go
35:48
back to shore. So I had to identify what are
35:51
those moments that make me want to turn around on my surfboard?
35:54
What are those moments that make me go, I don't want to do this
35:57
and you go back? And so once I identified those
36:00
moments that make me want to succumb to the old me, make me
36:04
want to go back to old patterns, those became the things that I
36:07
became hyper aware of. And I'm like, oh, this is the
36:10
moment. This is my wave.
36:11
This is my wave, right? And so I started to identify
36:14
those big waves in my life, those big waves in my health,
36:18
those big waves in even my relationship.
36:22
I want this beautiful relationship and I want it to be
36:25
deep and thoughtful and, and activating and all these things.
36:28
And I realized that oftentimes for me, when things get a little
36:31
bit uncertain or when I don't have a plan, I pull away and I'm
36:35
like, I don't have a plan. I don't have steps.
36:36
I don't know how it's going to work out.
36:37
And I get scared and I want to go back to go back to shore.
36:41
I'm like, never mind, I'd rather, you know, have the
36:44
certainty that I'm on stable ground on shore that have the
36:47
uncertainty of being out here in the water, even though all I
36:50
want is to be in the water on my board.
36:55
So I deal with this too, and not in business, but I deal with
36:59
this in my personal life. I deal with this in my health.
37:02
And So what I had to do was ask myself, what are my big waves?
37:05
And I started to look at those as the area that I had to, to
37:09
acknowledge and become aware of so I could actively look to
37:13
overcome them. So for you, I want you to look
37:17
at and listen to what is self trust in business.
37:21
What does this actually look like?
37:22
If I do trust myself, this is what your reality will be #1 you
37:26
will move fast. OK, so, so even for me at the
37:30
moment that I, I, I will tell you I built the most confidence
37:34
when I left my last relationship of eight years because that was,
37:40
it was stretchy for me, of course, but there was a part
37:45
that was also me recognizing like I trust myself so much in
37:49
this moment. Like I just had this intuition,
37:52
this knowing. And when I did do that, the
37:55
level of self trust that I had to be like, girl, you can
37:58
navigate anything like you're good, you have you.
38:02
That was a very fast process that and that relationship
38:07
ending, but it made me realize the reason it was fast is
38:10
because I didn't have doubt. I didn't teeter totter of like,
38:13
is this right, is this wrong, is this right, is this wrong?
38:15
I just knew and I I acted on my knowing.
38:18
So when you trust yourself, you will move fast.
38:22
You will also fail and you will not spiral because you recognize
38:26
that your failure is just an indicator of opportunity for
38:29
refinement. It doesn't mean anything about
38:31
you and that it's evidence that you can't trust you.
38:34
You also will course correct and you have no shame.
38:37
I will tell you and even my team knows this.
38:39
In business, there's many times I'm like, hey, we're going to do
38:41
a master class, never mind Nick's.
38:42
We're doing this like I for the times previous to that felt like
38:46
I had to see every idea that I had and every plan that I had
38:50
through because if I didn't, it meant I wasn't consistent or,
38:53
you know, it meant that I, you know, was changed my mind too
38:56
much. I trust myself to course
39:00
correct. Now.
39:01
This doesn't mean that I'm all over the map, but it means that
39:03
if I take an evidence and information around me that tells
39:06
me that I'm on the wrong course, I will then say, OK, great.
39:09
We're switching, we're course correcting, we're going this way
39:11
and we'll make a pivot. We're not throwing everything
39:14
out and starting over. We are pivoting.
39:15
We pivot a timeline, we pivot a date, we pivot something along
39:20
the way that allows us to be more in alignment with the path
39:22
that we want to be on. You are also making decisions
39:26
off of data and intuition, not from a place of fear.
39:31
So like for example, in a launch, you're not cancelling a
39:33
launch because you're scared it's not going to get people or
39:36
I'm not going to see the client sign that I want to.
39:39
You are somebody who acknowledges that the data is
39:43
telling us this, and my intuition tells me that this is
39:46
the right next step. You trust yourself and you also
39:49
validate that oftentimes with data, not just with emotion.
39:54
So like you are making logical thought based decisions, not
40:00
always just I feel this so go, I feel this so go.
40:03
You also stay consistent enough for things to produce results.
40:09
OK, so even to mine, the area that I struggle is health.
40:13
I recognize that I was so specifically connected to the
40:16
outcome and the result that I wasn't focused enough on the
40:18
consistency. So my only metric now of success
40:22
is just how consistent I am with my steps and with my workouts.
40:25
Nothing else matters. I don't care what the scale
40:27
says. I don't care what my body looks
40:28
like. I don't care what my strength is
40:30
or what, you know, how much I'm lifting here.
40:32
I'm like, I'm just caring about my reps.
40:35
How many reps am I putting in each week in my steps?
40:37
How many reps am I putting in each week in my workouts?
40:39
And I measure my consistency because I recognize that my
40:42
consistency is what ultimately is going to compound to give me
40:45
the results I want anyways. You do not panic when numbers
40:50
dip. If your marketing is dipping, if
40:53
your sales are dipping, you do not panic.
40:56
You keep your focus on the things that are going to move
40:58
the needle regardless of the external circumstances or the
41:02
stimuli around you. If your team says OK, what we're
41:05
going to do about this, I'm freaking out about this.
41:06
I'm freaking out about this. You are the rock.
41:10
You're the grounding forces. Guys.
41:12
This is what we're going to do. This is the plan.
41:16
And it's not to say I want to be clear that you are not allowed
41:21
to have emotions. It's not to say that you're not
41:23
allowed to be upset, that you're not allowed to be anxious, that
41:25
you're not allowed to worry. You're allowed to process your
41:27
emotions. But the difference is that you
41:30
trust yourself to navigate it. I have been in boiling water
41:34
type of feeling in my business before and I have my emotions.
41:39
Don't get me wrong. I've cried, I've been
41:41
frustrated, I've been angry, I've had all these moments, but
41:43
I, I have had at the end of that, like, OK, here's what
41:47
we're going to do. And then from that moment
41:50
onward, it's like, K go because I trust myself.
41:52
I process, I allow myself to release, but right after that,
41:55
it's like, you need to be the rock here.
41:58
You got to have a plan, You got to solve it.
42:00
So go do. And then I get into problem
42:01
solving mode. That's because I trust myself to
42:04
figure it out. Even if I have emotions, I honor
42:06
those, but I make a plan. You also keep your word to
42:09
yourself. If you say you're going to do
42:11
something, you do it. You set boundaries, you
42:14
delegate, and you hold people accountable.
42:18
You trust yourself to be the rock, and you also ask that
42:21
trust of other people that they also keep to their word, that
42:25
they also are consistent, that they also do the things that
42:29
they say they're going to do. So not only do you embody this,
42:32
but you ask that embodiment of those people around you.
42:36
You also do not oftentimes when you trust yourself, feel in
42:40
chaos. This is something that's an
42:42
important distinction. Things around you can feel
42:44
chaotic. You're not chaotic.
42:47
So like, I don't know if you've ever had those moments where
42:49
like your business feels like a tornado and you're like, whoa,
42:52
this is a lot going on right now.
42:54
And that's true. You might be right.
42:56
There is potentially a lot going on in your business, but you
43:00
have to trust yourself that you're not chaotic.
43:03
You're stable, you're calm, even though everything else is not
43:08
calm. And I think about this literally
43:09
like a mom and all the moms, I feel like, no, it's like your
43:14
home and your your house is a disaster and there's dishes
43:16
everywhere and whatever. And your kid is having a
43:18
meltdown. It's like you have to take a
43:21
breath and be like, listen, this entire environment right now is
43:23
chaos. But I have to be a grounding
43:25
energy because otherwise if I'm frantic, they're frantic.
43:29
So there is this transfer of that.
43:32
The same thing is true within your business.
43:33
You have to be able in the middle of a tornado to stay
43:37
calm. I think about it like, like a
43:39
paramedic, you cannot be, you know, when someone's got an arm
43:43
hanging off to be someone who goes, Oh my God, it starts
43:46
freaking out. You have to be the person that
43:49
can be in an emergency room and be calm.
43:51
Be the paramedic and be calm. Be around the tornado and be
43:54
calm. You trust yourself to navigate
43:57
it. You regulate and you trust
43:59
yourself to acknowledge that. While my environment feels
44:03
extremely chaotic right now, I don't want to be sucked into
44:06
that chaos. I don't want to be in in the
44:09
bucket of feeling chaotic myself as well.
44:13
Most importantly, you notice fear, but you do not let it lead
44:18
you. OK, you notice fear, but you
44:21
don't let it lead you. I think there's a misconception
44:27
with business owners that people who are like very successful
44:31
don't feel fear. I will tell you I'm scared of
44:33
things every day. I'm scared of things every day.
44:39
Fear is normal. Fear is common.
44:42
Fear is is normal. The thing with fear is what fear
44:48
does to your function. That's how I think about it.
44:51
When you're scared, what do you do next?
44:54
And that's something that I'm going to leave there for you
44:58
because I think that even in itself is a simple enough
45:00
question for you to think on. So like when you're scared, what
45:02
do you do when you feel nervous something's not going to work
45:07
out, or you're worried about the results, or you're worried what
45:09
it would require of you, or you worry how you'd have to show up.
45:12
Like when you are like, oh, this makes me anxious.
45:15
This makes me a little bit nervous.
45:16
What do you do next? Do you avoid?
45:20
Do you retreat? Do you regulate and push
45:23
through? What do you do as your next
45:25
step? It's an important thing for you
45:26
to know because people who are the most successful in business
45:30
do not not experience fear. It's a massive misconception
45:34
that just because you are someone who's successful, you
45:36
don't feel scared. You will feel terrified in a
45:39
successful business many times. It's not that that's not there.
45:44
It's not that you'll never feel it.
45:45
It's about how you navigate it. And so people that are deepen
45:50
self trust, they feel the fear, but they act anyways.
45:53
So I want you to just ask yourself, in the last three to
45:55
five times that you felt really scared in business, what have
45:57
you done? What's your response been?
45:59
And that's even in itself a great reflection for you to sit
46:01
with. One of the things that is
46:04
important as well is for us to acknowledge where does this lack
46:07
of self trust come from? Because why do I feel this way?
46:10
Why am I struggling with this? And for all of us, there's many
46:13
different reasons that this can come up.
46:14
And I wanted to note down some of the most common ones #1 is
46:19
past experiences from childhood where you were not taught to
46:25
trust yourself. Like even for me, there was
46:27
times when I was a kid that I was not invited to trust my
46:30
intuition. I wasn't invited to trust my own
46:32
thoughts or my own feelings. I was taught to trust someone
46:37
else knows better for me. So I had to rewire that.
46:39
Which is to say, we'll know what do I want to do?
46:41
It's even something I'm navigating today in therapy is
46:43
like, you know, I was always told that this person's plan is
46:46
the way that I'm supposed to go or this person and what I was
46:48
told is the right way, but what do I want to do?
46:50
And that's something that I'm still navigating in my personal
46:53
life. But I recognize it comes from my
46:55
upbringing. It comes from my childhood.
46:58
It also can come from previous failures that created self
47:02
doubt. So sometimes people will tell
47:04
me, you know what, Kate? I don't trust myself because I
47:06
feel like I have reason to not trust myself.
47:08
Last time I did, I got burned. So what we do is we create these
47:12
stories that because there's been a time that we tried to
47:16
trust and we got burned, that means I can't trust again.
47:20
And I tell people it's like, you know, being in a relationship
47:23
where a guy or a woman does you dirty in a way, you know what I
47:28
mean? Like kind of does something that
47:30
breaks your trust or breaks your bond and you're like, well, last
47:34
time I opened myself up, this is what happened to me.
47:37
It's like, yes, but are you going to allow a circumstance, a
47:40
situation to be the reason not moving forward?
47:43
You don't trust again, like you're just going to close
47:45
yourself off permanently because of that, you're using this one
47:48
instance or situation as your evidence ongoing that you can't
47:52
trust yourself. So I think that that's something
47:55
that I've recognized is like you have to be careful what stories
47:58
you attach to what experiences, because if you want to find
48:02
evidence to not trust yourself, you will find it.
48:03
If you also, in the contrast, want to find evidence that you
48:07
navigated something and you did trust yourself to overcome it,
48:12
you also find that. So for me, when I left my
48:15
engagement, I could say, you know why I didn't trust myself
48:18
the whole way through. I didn't trust the feelings I
48:19
had. I didn't trust the thought I had
48:21
of this. I didn't trust this experience.
48:23
I didn't trust when I found out X and doing something about it,
48:26
I could find all that or I could also find that, you know, I had
48:31
a knowing and I had a feeling, a pull, a nudge and I trusted
48:36
myself to act on it. You'll find the evidence you're
48:39
looking for. So in past experiences, be very
48:41
careful what it is that you're looking to find from that
48:43
experience or from that story. Also being in a program or
48:49
coaching that told you to just follow the steps.
48:52
This is a notorious one in business, especially from people
48:54
who've gotten business coaching is like if your coach ever told
48:57
you to, you know, this is the right way.
49:00
This is the way to do it. This is, you know, the the steps
49:03
to follow. Ignore your intuition, ignore
49:05
your thoughts, ignore your feelings, ignore that question
49:08
you have coming up. Follow the steps, follow the
49:10
steps, follow the steps. That, to put it transparently,
49:14
is literally just that coach telling you ignore yourself,
49:17
ignore yourself, ignore yourself, ignore yourself,
49:20
right? And that's something that
49:22
overtime will erode yourself trust if you allow it to.
49:27
I've had people say to me, you know, well, my coach told me to
49:28
do this. I said, great, Your coach is not
49:30
the decision making person in your business.
49:33
Like So what? Your coach gave you information
49:38
because your coach says this is something that I recommend that
49:41
works, doesn't mean that you just ignore all of your inner
49:45
decision making and critical thinking skills to be like,
49:47
well, I guess that's what I do. Like that's not the point of
49:51
coaching. And anyone who says it's my way
49:52
or the highway is somebody from a coaching perspective.
49:55
I'm going to be really direct with you.
49:56
You should run for the hills. If someone says this is the only
50:01
way, whatever that thing is, this is the way you market.
50:05
This is the way you sell. These are the offers to have.
50:07
This is the thing you do. If they are not open to helping
50:11
you to discover yourself, run, because that means that they are
50:16
ultimately requiring you to abandon yourself to insert their
50:22
programming as your new level of trust.
50:24
And then you wonder why you don't trust yourself in
50:26
business. It's because you've been taught
50:28
and you allowed yourself to absorb a strategy, that the only
50:32
way the strategy works is if you abandoned everything about you
50:34
in the process of integrating it.
50:36
So trusting yourself is also ensuring that you're not taking
50:39
somebody else's advisement as to this is the only way and you
50:44
also are not going to with this. An important route of why this
50:48
comes up is not allowing comparison and online pressure
50:52
to tell you that you're supposed to be farther along.
50:55
This is the one that I see kills people is that you're allowing
51:00
your lack of self trust could come from a coach telling you
51:03
there's one way, or your lack of self trust is coming from the
51:06
fact that you're allowing other people to tell you whether you
51:09
should trust yourself. Think about that.
51:11
You're consuming people online who tell you this is the way, or
51:14
this is what success looks like, or this is the speed you're
51:16
supposed to grow at. Says who?
51:19
Like literally says who Literally says who.
51:24
So when you see that people are like I made 100K in two days, or
51:28
I made 100K in 30 days, or 100K in six months or $1,000,000 in
51:33
whatever, OK, fine. That's just, that's just
51:36
information. It's just evidence.
51:37
It doesn't mean anything about you, but lack of trust in
51:43
yourself can come from the fact that you're letting other people
51:46
tell you the conditions upon which you can trust yourself.
51:50
So we need to be very, very careful about.
51:51
That's why I tell people, be very careful who you consume.
51:53
Be very careful how much you consume.
51:55
And that's because you can't let other people tell you whether
51:58
you should allow yourself to feel OK.
52:01
You can only trust yourself if you're getting these results.
52:03
You can only trust that you're making good progress.
52:04
If you've hit this number in this time, it's all just noise.
52:09
So I asked people, if you removed the Internet, how would
52:13
you know that you can trust yourself in business?
52:15
If I removed all the indicators of what online business told you
52:18
was successful, how would you tell me that you're successful?
52:21
And most people realize that you know what it's like being home
52:23
with their kids or it's, you know, doing X or doing Y.
52:26
It's not about this X amount of money and X amount of months
52:28
because they realize that's actually not what I define as
52:30
success. So with this, I want to give you
52:36
some things to think about #1 some reps you can think about
52:41
putting in to help you to trust yourself more is set some small
52:44
goals for yourself and set some small promises and keep them.
52:48
Keep them. Build the trust.
52:51
Trust can be rooted in evidence. You can build evidence that you
52:54
don't have it and you can also build evidence that you do have
52:56
it. So look to set commitments and
53:00
keep those, like I was saying with my, you know, health
53:03
journey. My new thing has just been the
53:05
small commitments of going to the gym and steps, not focusing
53:08
so much on result, result, result.
53:10
Decide faster. Give yourself a decision and
53:14
start to put in the reps of how do I make this decision quicker?
53:18
How do I not take something and have to sit on it and ruminate
53:20
on it and process it for a week? And instead, how do I make this
53:24
decision much faster within an hour, within, you know, 24 hours
53:28
within a week versus a month, 1/4 or six months?
53:33
Audit your decision making rules.
53:36
So like for me, I always try to consider that the level of the
53:41
depth of the decision should be contextual to the time it takes
53:44
me to decide. So like if I am trying to
53:47
decide, OK, should we go, you know, light beige or dark beige,
53:50
like 2 seconds, make a decision, right?
53:53
If I'm trying to decide, you know, do I want to start this
53:55
new business that I'm starting? I ruminated on that.
53:58
I thought about it a little bit because it's not a small
54:00
decision, it's a big task, it's investment, it's people, it's
54:04
all of it. So the context of your decision
54:06
making should be relative to the level or the impact of the
54:10
decision that's at hand. So trying to be conscious of set
54:14
some decision making guidelines for yourself to give yourself
54:16
some bumper lane so you're not spending six months to decide on
54:19
branding for something. Reduce decision load as well.
54:23
Like be conscious of how much pressure you're under to make
54:27
decisions, how much you know, stimuli you have from A to do
54:30
list each day to, you know, choices you have to make these
54:34
constant pressures around you. And I would say of all of this,
54:39
the most important thing that you can do for self trust is
54:45
build evidence that helps you instead of hinders you.
54:49
I even think one of the ways you could build self trust right now
54:53
is literally just outline what are the areas that in the last
54:58
three to six months have made you feel like maybe you can't
55:00
trust yourself or maybe you've struggled to trust yourself.
55:03
So I can be step one, Step 2, then say, what was the
55:06
invitation or how could I reframe that to see how I
55:10
actually did trust myself in that, right?
55:13
So as I said, even for me, I found a lot of evidence that I
55:16
didn't trust myself initially with that relationship.
55:20
And then I realized, Kate, it's actually the biggest embodiment
55:23
of self trust because it meant that you did the hard thing that
55:27
a lot of people, number one, wouldn't do, couldn't do, or
55:30
wouldn't want to do. But you did it because you
55:32
trusted yourself. So you can find in any
55:35
situation, two sides or two stories.
55:38
One, the one where you didn't hold the vision for yourself and
55:42
to the one where you did hold the vision for yourself and
55:46
seeing that new reality. So even to look back in the last
55:49
three to six months, what were times where you didn't really
55:52
trust yourself? And how could you reframe and
55:54
look at those from a different angle to find how you did in
55:57
fact, trust yourself in that moment?
55:59
What did you do? What was the thing that you
56:01
thought of, the thing you executed, the decision that you
56:03
made that truly actually was evidence that you can rely on
56:07
you most entrepreneurs. The reason I wanted to talk
56:10
about today is that strategy is an important part of scaling.
56:15
But if you have a strategy and you don't trust yourself to hold
56:21
it, if you want success and you don't trust yourself to hold it,
56:25
if you want results and you don't trust yourself to hold it,
56:27
if you want a team, if you want more money, if you want a bigger
56:31
brand and you don't trust yourself to hold it, you are
56:36
going to self sabotage yourself the entire way along.
56:41
And the worst part is, most people don't even know what's
56:44
happening. They go the market, the
56:47
strategy, this thing, that thing.
56:50
And I want to invite this conversation for you today in
56:53
this reflection because can be really easy to say it's the
56:57
strategy. And I have these moments myself.
57:00
As I said that I have to be really honest with myself.
57:03
Like Kate, the issue is not the freaking workouts.
57:06
It's that you don't trust yourself to really be this
57:08
person. You're resistant to what this is
57:10
going to require of you. You're just scared.
57:13
I had to have this really real and honest conversation with
57:15
myself. And I want to invite you to do
57:17
the same today. Because if you're someone who
57:20
wants to scale rapidly in your business, I can give you a
57:23
million strategies. But if you don't trust yourself
57:26
to be the leader, to be the brand, to show up in the way
57:29
that you need to, to make the decisions, to have the hard
57:31
conversation, to put in the work when there's no evidence to say
57:34
that it's going well, to do the tough stuff.
57:37
If you don't trust yourself, it's not going to work anyway.
57:43
And every day that you point the strategy is the problem,
57:46
strategy is the problem strategy is the problem, is a day that
57:48
you are ignoring the possible culprit, that you are actually
57:52
the common denominator. And it's not about blame, it's
57:54
actually about opportunity. It's about you recognizing that
57:57
if you don't have the results that you want in your life or in
58:00
your business, that you actually, by having this real
58:04
hard conversation today, have the ability to completely change
58:08
the outcome and the pathway that you're going to go down in the
58:11
next three to six months. So what would your life, what
58:17
would your business, what would your health, what would your
58:21
relationship look like if you trusted yourself?
58:26
And I'll leave that with you today.
58:28
So thank you for spending today with me as always.
58:33
If there is something or anything that landed free today,
58:35
any questions that you have, anything that I can support you
58:37
with, or even if you just want to be kind of witnessing
58:40
something that landed free today, always feel free to reach
58:43
out to me. My DMS are always open.
58:44
I love chatting with you. And with that being said, we
58:47
will see you on the next episode.
58:48
And, as always, stay ambitious.