Latest / Authentic Living / Resiliency Training and the ROR: Return On Relationships (Part II) with Treena Reilkoff

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Resiliency Training and the ROR: Return On Relationships (Part II) with Treena Reilkoff · Authentic Living

• 0:01
  Welcome to authentic living with Roxanne, a place where we have as conversations about
• 0:08
  things that really matter in our lives.
• 0:11
  And now here's your host, Roxanne Derhodge.
• 0:36
  My new book return on relationships launching on June 10 2023 introduces the concept of
• 0:45
  return on relationships.
• 0:46
  A new metric for business growth.
• 0:48
  Grab a copy.
• 0:49
  Let me walk you through how to be a better leader and provide you with exclusive tools to
• 0:54
  guide you in building your authentic leadership legacy.
• 0:57
  You can find link in the show notes to pre order your copy today.
• 1:01
  Hope you enjoy.
• 1:02
  Our interview last week was so good that we decided to turn it into a 2 part series.
• 1:07
  If you missed last week, you'll find the link in the show notes.
• 1:12
  It's not mandatory that you listen, but we wanna make sure that you don't miss out on this
• 1:17
  amazing conversation.
• 1:20
  Hi, everyone.
• 1:20
  It's Roxanne Durgesh.
• 1:21
  Thanks for tuning in again this week.
• 1:24
  Today, I have a special colleague that's I met through a friend in Cayman Islands, and it's
• 1:31
  it's talk.
• 1:31
  It's a funny thing about connections.
• 1:33
  So, hi Trina, so glad you could be here with us today.
• 1:36
  Oh, I'm excited to be here.
• 1:38
  And, Kim, if you're listening, this is happening because of you.
• 1:42
  Yeah.
• 1:43
  So, a treater is, has is in a a field that I think most of us would find very intriguing.
• 1:50
  I'll I'll just read a little bit about her bio, and we'll jump right in because we're gonna
• 1:54
  have such a fantastic conversation.
• 1:56
  Trina Realkoff is a conflict management and resiliency specialist.
• 2:00
  International author and the founder of TLR solutions for Conflict Inc.
• 2:06
  As a trauma informed mediator, psychological health and safety advisor, workplace, fairness,
• 2:11
  and restoration, analyst and the resiliency trail trainer and facilitator, her passion is
• 2:17
  to support leaders, organizations, and businesses to become the architects of their
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  conflict resilient workplace.
• 2:25
  And what's the easiest cost effective way to make improvements in a business that have
• 2:31
  sometimes no cost is listening to what the employees want and need.
• 2:36
  So I recently did a workplace assessment, And what was interesting was through the
• 2:42
  assessment, and it was not just the survey, but then there was individual confidential focus
• 2:46
  groups and interviews was coming back to work, and it was a very high risk environment, that
• 2:54
  what employees really needed was was upper management, the CEO, the leaders to just come
• 3:01
  out of their office and do check ins, not do your your regular routine of where you have to
• 3:07
  go do the the walkthrough of different areas and check-in, but they wanted that authentic
• 3:13
  connection of just come out and just check-in and see how we're doing.
• 3:18
  Something that basic.
• 3:21
  So what you're saying is that a lot of since So this got, instituted by the government.
• 3:27
  Was this recently?
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  How recently with the standards?
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  With the psychological
• 3:35
  Yeah.
• 3:36
  Psychological health and safety national standards have been with Canada for 10 years.
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  It was this year was their 10 year anniversary.
• 3:43
  Okay.
• 3:44
  Okay.
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  But it's only recent because of mental health in the workplace about being that it's becoming
• 3:49
  recognized that there are psychosocial hazards, not just physical hazards, but psychosocial
• 3:56
  hazards.
• 3:57
  Right.
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  Right.
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  And like you're saying, if I, you know, you're thinking, well, I think it the solution is
• 4:03
  enough.
• 4:04
  And then you do what think you need to do.
• 4:07
  And if you don't get a baseline from an assessment, let's say with this robbery, and
• 4:13
  and what Amazing information they would get.
• 4:18
  Mhmm.
• 4:18
  Right?
• 4:19
  Because then this is an international company that has locations across Canada.
• 4:26
  And the impact is, let's say they do this on not very well.
• 4:32
  And it's a, you know, basically, you know, I think it's a 20 4 7 service.
• 4:38
  And let's say you do it poorly on one location, and that ripple effects.
• 4:43
  So other people working, say, the particular shift that your daughter was working or even
• 4:47
  just working off shift, or maybe not even off shift, Right?
• 4:52
  And you do it poorly, then what does that do?
• 4:54
  Like, do you set to retention, with people thinking, Well, I like what I do, but I don't
• 5:01
  wanna be held at that point.
• 5:03
  Yeah.
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  And and it's reputation too.
• 5:05
  Right?
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  Because Right.
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  Absolutely.
• 5:06
  Getting on the business, the cost of reputation, you can't do a little formula for
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  that if it's a major company.
• 5:14
  So it's like thinking, I always ask.
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  So when you see your company in the news, do you want to see this company did not have
• 5:24
  anything proactively in place to mitigate physical and psychological risks due to a
• 5:31
  robbery.
• 5:32
  Or do you want to see in the news this company is ahead of the game?
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  They are taking the lead in creating psychological health and safety in the
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  workplace and ensuring their staff, employees, clients are safe, feel welcome, and we look
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  after our staff and our clients.
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  Right?
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  So it's in that reputation.
• 5:56
  Yeah.
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  That would just be a backdrop to that company versus, of a sudden, you know, you're realizing
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  the Yep.
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  And, you know, now we are our own media.
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  Like, you have interaction.
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  Somebody put something on social, and it doesn't get addressed.
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  That's that's like, you know, wildfire where And that reputation, like you said, that you're
• 6:17
  like calling in people to mitigate the reputation that now has not it's kinda come out
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  of the gate.
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  I know you gotta pull it back.
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  Right?
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  So, yeah, and you do a cost comparison of, k, the cost to bring somebody in to mitigate the
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  reputation now that's been tarnished, or somebody also through that event put in a
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  workplace violence complaint that now has to be investigated so the cost of the investigation
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  and what are the potential outcomes of it versus being proactive and should an event
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  come, you've already recognized what are the psychosocial hazards, what are the risks, what
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  is missing, what is working, and how to strengthen that, and then should an
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  investigation come or a lawsuit, you already have the liability covered saying we've done
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  this, this, this implemented, Yes.
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  The event happened.
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  This is the action we took because we were aware of proactive measures we needed to
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  mitigate the psychosocial risk.
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  Well, it's showing that you be preemptive.
• 7:18
  Right?
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  Like, you know, unfortunately, and we know with 20 sevens, you know, it's like emergency rooms
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  and and and first responders and 247 services more than likely, you know, you'd be getting
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  concerns versus a 9 to 5 kind of, you know, IT firm that opens up at it and leaves it for.
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  That's likely you're gonna have those types of things.
• 7:39
  So, again, based on your your your sector, you know, or even your size, like, when I, I
• 7:44
  remember that I, you know, this was a one case and normally as the executive, I wouldn't get
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  involved, but this was a scenario.
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  Major transportation can't say won't say.
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  And what had happened was now I'm rarely because, of course, in in my role, sometimes I
• 8:02
  would have to be available for the West Coast, but not very often.
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  So what happened was, this employee was seeing one of the clinicians.
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  Now I was armed slanked.
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  I would just find out once in a while what was going on.
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  And there was a issue with anger management issue, right, potentially.
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  So And, of course, there were we did assessments, you know, ongoing levels of
• 8:28
  assessments, and it was done.
• 8:30
  The clinicians did all did all their due diligence and whatever, and then it gets
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  escalated to me because this particular person have threatened, that they did not know what
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  they were going to do when they saw their supervisor.
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  And their shift was starting at 5 o'clock the next day, next next morning.
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  So, hence, I'm here and I'm escalating it up to the senior VP that I reported to.
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  And we're like, okay.
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  We we gotta do so of course, we did was necessary, which is our which is our due
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  diligence, and we had that person taken care of before they entered the workplace.
• 9:14
  So it can get very, very technical, to your point, but if an employer does the things that
• 9:20
  you're suggesting, like, let's say something does happen, you know, then you're showing that
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  you're saying, okay.
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  We can't get rid of things happening.
• 9:31
  You are you know, we're in a world with lots of things going on.
• 9:35
  But if you ignore it to your point, conflict avoid it, then, you know, that everything seems
• 9:43
  good, but what goes underground.
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  And that's where the historical unresolved conflict then starts potentially escalating to
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  costs, to time, to internal conflict, again, to stress leave, disability leave retention,
• 10:01
  right, in unions, then you got grievances.
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  Right.
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  Absolutely.
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  Investigations.
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  Right?
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  It's the unresolved conflict comes with a cost.
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  So it's almost like we need a paradigm shift and just self reflection of become conflict
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  curious because that's how we are proactive.
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  That's how we put prevention in place to mitigate personal professional organizational
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  operational risk, but that's the resiliency of learning from the past experience.
• 10:33
  So if we look look at the context of the bribery, it's like, hey.
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  Here's the series of ants.
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  Here's this is what we did.
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  So what was missing?
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  What are the gaps, the pain points?
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  And then how do we fill them in for that next time?
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  Because there will be a next robbery.
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  Hopefully not, but more than likely, whether it's the one store or a different store in the
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  same chain, there's gonna be another robbery.
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  So how do we mitigated by reflecting on what we did right, what was needed or missing, and
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  that's risk mitigation and resiliency operational organizational.
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  And then the key is if it's a chain or a branch or larger organization, how do we communicate
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  and share that information that's accessible, not just to leadership, but what does the
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  frontline employee need to do?
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  And they have easy access that they're educated on what is the safety net for them should
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  something like this happen?
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  And also, you know, one thing that we found, was they would do the, the debriefings and the
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  diffusing.
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  Right?
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  So the diffusing is at 12 and 24 and the debriefings are within 72 to kind of because
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  most of us could go back relatively to normal functioning unless we have something ready
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  going on.
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  What would happen with a lot of organizations, they wouldn't think of people that were off
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  Mhmm.
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  Or not on that shift.
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  And what would happen is, there would be rumor milling around the facts.
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  Right?
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  And you, you know, again, it's like it's like that broke, you know, broke, you know, when
• 12:07
  you're a kid, you're playing broke until 11 times, a 100, and it would create a wildfire
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  until you actually got people together within that 72 hours to completely discuss the facts
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  and thinking, who's off on leave?
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  Who's away on vacation.
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  You know, all those things and making sure that everybody got the same communication.
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  So that you're addressing, like you said, that what that wide net
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  Yep.
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  It is who's who's kinda at the time of the event and the time of the robbery, you know,
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  who was about to come in, who didn't come in, who did you send home, those types of things
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  because you're really thinking about like, to your point, your daughter had had some issues
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  with bullying, let's say.
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  So she learned some skill because her situation put, but other people that have maybe have
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  never been through that they may might be coping completely differently.
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  Right?
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  Yeah.
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  And, and that whole, like, the secondary, your potential to carry the what if, right?
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  Because we're all human again.
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  You can't help going to the what if.
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  We all did it with COVID at the beginning.
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  What if?
• 13:07
  What if?
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  Right?
• 13:08
  Right.
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  So
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  if you're taking a business context, if you don't stop after a conflict and incident, you
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  know, at adversity of an something happening stop and reflect on the learning and what
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  worked, what didn't work, just associate the cost of the avoidance and the the retention.
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  So as you gave the example, right, the the extended effect of everybody who wasn't there,
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  how much time is spent lost in production when they come back to work, and everybody's whether
• 13:42
  you're online or in person or on the telephone, everybody's talking about it.
• 13:46
  There's probably a good 8 to 16 hours cumulative of the discussion of it because
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  there's been no debriefing.
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  So you take the individual salary for that day of every person involved, and then management
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  and HR organization of potential debriefing or the time off now, it can be tens of 1000 of
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  dollars, because of 3 active measures rather than creating a baseline of proactive
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  preventative organizational and operational resilience management.
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  You know what, that brings to a point?
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  I'm thinking when I just went listening to you, Trina, that we think about, the economic times
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  that we're in, right, and, and how fearful people are over and above coming off the the
• 14:33
  the the COVID kind of incident.
• 14:35
  Mhmm.
• 14:36
  And then, you know, some employers are saying you have to come back to work, and they're not,
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  to your point, finding the, you know, I say what's litmus test tell you that they don't
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  know that litmus test.
• 14:47
  Yep.
• 14:47
  And then you put people in together and you're not you're just thinking, well, you know,
• 14:51
  everybody's been called back to work blah blah blah.
• 14:54
  You gotta do it.
• 14:56
  So, really, in a way, it's almost like you know people have been traumatized.
• 15:01
  And you're, you know, and then you're thinking, I'm just gonna make them do certain things.
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  Again, another loss of control.
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  And then you're gonna come
• 15:08
  back and you're gonna be nice.
• 15:09
  Right?
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  So what does that do to overall morale as well?
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  You know, and then Yeah.
• 15:17
  What what did they do?
• 15:19
  Yeah.
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  Right.
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  The morale has deteriorated.
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  I'm physically at work now, but My brain is somewhere else, and I'm feeling nauseous, but
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  I'm at work, but they're not working.
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  Right.
• 15:30
  Right.
• 15:31
  Being, you know, having those trauma informed communication from a sensitivity, just
• 15:36
  awareness, and that checking, that actual genuine checking, not the checkbox.
• 15:43
  You know, it's it's it's ready.
• 15:45
  And I think it's well, obviously, we know it's it starts at the top.
• 15:48
  Like, you know, in in my new book, I talk a little bit about, you know, the leadership
• 15:53
  model of I'm not being impacted, you know, is the autocratic kind of old guard of leadership.
• 16:00
  And I'm not suggesting that, you know, leaders share everything that's going through their
• 16:04
  life, but I talk a lot about them.
• 16:06
  Look.
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  You're a person to your leader you're also having impact on your life.
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  And if you look like nothing is affecting you and all your employees around you saying, Well,
• 16:17
  if Trina's not acting like anything's impacting her, therefore I then have to stay for what I
• 16:23
  am feeling.
• 16:24
  So I think that that that transparency around, yeah, this has been tough on all of us.
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  I, you know, and sharing, like, you know, a little bit about not everything, but at least
• 16:35
  being able to say, I hear you.
• 16:38
  I feel what you're going through.
• 16:39
  I've been through maybe this in this way.
• 16:42
  That really allows people to to have that that capacity to open up a little bit to say, yeah,
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  I can relate versus the leadership teams that say, Oh, what's wrong?
• 16:52
  Oh, I'm just losing a limb.
• 16:53
  Everything's fine.
• 16:54
  You know, just just being able to connect with people just on a human level as well.
• 16:58
  Yeah.
• 16:59
  And that context, it could even be, you know, the experience of COVID or, like, first time I
• 17:04
  know for myself, when the gyms opened up, I was excited.
• 17:07
  I go to the gym, hope it's there.
• 17:09
  You had to register, and I'm supposed I remember I'm sitting right here, and I'm
• 17:13
  supposed to go to gym in an hour.
• 17:14
  And then all of a sudden, I'm feeling nauseous and my stomach's tightening up.
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  Positively, I know I'm okay.
• 17:20
  The gym's opened up.
• 17:21
  We got the okay.
• 17:22
  There's protocol.
• 17:24
  But my body was having that trauma response because of the unsafeness that we were told for
• 17:29
  so long that the whole world experienced, right?
• 17:32
  So when the whole world and we're all human have experienced this, we've all come out
• 17:37
  somehow so it's even looking organizationally professionally, how have you individually,
• 17:44
  professionally, and in your business resiliently bounced back and are going forward
• 17:50
  because we have come out of it.
• 17:51
  We're still working, but can you name the traits the examples, the environmental context,
• 17:58
  of how you got through it.
• 18:00
  Mhmm.
• 18:01
  Right.
• 18:01
  And it's and it's that leadership of you know, the humanality, I like to call it, you're
• 18:05
  moving from SOS to SRSR.
• 18:09
  Self reflection strengthens resiliency.
• 18:11
  And whether it's personal, professional, organizational, or operational, there's a
• 18:16
  tornado.
• 18:17
  There's environmental resiliency.
• 18:18
  There's business contingency plans that are resilient.
• 18:21
  That's what resiliency is.
• 18:23
  We take the negative stuff we've experienced and how we coped and managed and worked through
• 18:30
  it, for the next time stronger and better.
• 18:34
  I like that because and I think, you know, we think of a we we talk a lot about it
• 18:39
  organizationally, but I think just reflecting on it, right, our homes became our workplaces.
• 18:46
  And, you know, And then, you know, whatever you you're doing personally, it's gonna be a
• 18:51
  reflection of what you do, organizationally, and then also societal.
• 18:56
  So really, you know, what you're doing impacts.
• 18:59
  I also see, you know, a ten ten foot radius around you.
• 19:02
  Yeah.
• 19:03
  So lady kind of being responsible when you're in leadership to say what responsibility do I
• 19:08
  need to take?
• 19:09
  And what are my blind spots?
• 19:11
  And How am I taking that time to be aware?
• 19:14
  If if I'm not an anxious person to begin with, but I'm kind of, you know, I had some some
• 19:20
  friends that were very, very anxious.
• 19:21
  And at first, I went, and then I thought, no, stop.
• 19:24
  Right?
• 19:25
  The we're like that even pre COVID.
• 19:28
  So, obviously, in COVID, you know, I had one of my best friends, you know, I I she brought me
• 19:34
  flowers through COVID, and she was backing up as I was coming to I'm like, I'm not getting
• 19:39
  close to you.
• 19:40
  You're not gonna hug you.
• 19:42
  I want to hug you, but I can't.
• 19:44
  Right.
• 19:45
  Exactly.
• 19:45
  To to really kind of reflect on your space and say, what am I about?
• 19:49
  But then in turn, what do I know of others?
• 19:51
  And then how can I look at my space and how I'm in others?
• 19:55
  So I think that's the gift, like you said, right, like reflection, understanding and then
• 20:01
  kind of thinking of that overall.
• 20:02
  Now I know we're almost at time, and I probably kept you longer than I should, treat up for
• 20:08
  meters that are out there and they're saying, well, we've done some stuff.
• 20:13
  You know, we've probably not too bad, but our short term's gone up and those, you know,
• 20:18
  arbitrations with the unions are kinda peeking up where where should they give them some
• 20:25
  things that or steps that they should be reflecting on, and then then I'd also like you
• 20:30
  to share where they can get ahold of you if they want to do some more work.
• 20:34
  A good a good example would just be to as an organization or company is take a 6 month time
• 20:42
  frame of where we were right after COVID open to where you are now and calculate the costs.
• 20:49
  Right?
• 20:49
  I I do have a a cost effective, and there are pre ones online, to assess the cost of
• 20:54
  conflict.
• 20:55
  So what is your retention?
• 20:56
  What is the sickly disability hiring?
• 20:59
  Right?
• 21:00
  What does that look like when COVID first opened up to now because you need to see the
• 21:07
  time, the money, what's missing to have that investment to actually wanna be proactive.
• 21:13
  Because what is it gonna cost you if you can't find somebody to come work for you?
• 21:18
  Or the reputation is we came to work, but we quit because There's unresolved bullying and
• 21:23
  harassment going on, and it's visible, and word-of-mouth is powerful, and especially with
• 21:27
  media.
• 21:29
  So it's kinda looking at your retention.
• 21:31
  You're hiring.
• 21:32
  Your retirements.
• 21:33
  Your sick leave disability.
• 21:34
  What are those numbers at right now?
• 21:37
  And envisioning what is that headline in the media.
• 21:41
  What do you want that to be?
• 21:43
  Because under in Ontario, and cross federally, workplace violence and harassment, by law, you
• 21:50
  need to have a workplace assessment now.
• 21:53
  So what if that one complaint goes in and you haven't had that assessment?
• 22:00
  And it's been over a year since it's in been in, in place, the new labor code law, what is
• 22:06
  the liability gonna look like when an investigation comes in?
• 22:11
  Yeah.
• 22:12
  So we need to think it through and see.
• 22:14
  Yeah.
• 22:15
  Where where where is my kind of scorecard?
• 22:17
  And if you've been lucky enough to not have anything happen, that's fantastic.
• 22:22
  Yeah.
• 22:22
  But like anything else, we, you know, things happen in different work environment.
• 22:26
  And some in work environments, you may not think I have to be concerned and you never
• 22:30
  know.
• 22:30
  Right?
• 22:31
  And but it's I think it's every work environment because we're human, right, and
• 22:35
  human behavior conflict is arise, and sometimes our interpersonal lives intermingle into the
• 22:41
  workplace.
• 22:42
  So even in the context of are your policies up to date, regarding cannabis, right, medicinal
• 22:49
  cannabis in the workplace, recreational, because more and more people are seeking
• 22:54
  medicinal cannabis alternative to pharmaceutical.
• 22:58
  There's new in Ontario, the labor code law for family violence.
• 23:01
  You need to have a policy and process in place that all your employees know Should somebody be
• 23:06
  experiencing family violence?
• 23:09
  So mad imagine the litigation and the risk in the investigation should somebody experienced
• 23:14
  family violence and, you know, god forbid assaulted or injured severely that may cause
• 23:22
  death, and you didn't have a policy or procedure in place, or were even aware that
• 23:27
  that's now mandated into the labor code law.
• 23:31
  Yes.
• 23:31
  Right.
• 23:32
  Psychological protection is just organizations educating their employees of what we have to
• 23:39
  protect you.
• 23:40
  There's no cost to that.
• 23:42
  Absolutely.
• 23:44
  Well, this has been amazing, and I'd like you to share with people, I'm sure there's people
• 23:51
  around there who are kind of checking the boxes and saying, oh, no.
• 23:53
  I I have to go with care.
• 23:54
  I have to do this.
• 23:56
  Yeah.
• 23:56
  So if people were wanting, to reach out and to consult or even do some work with your Trina,
• 24:01
  where where would they get a hold of you?
• 24:04
  I am on LinkedIn.
• 24:05
  Under Trina Rockoff TLR solutions for conflict inc, or my website is TLR solutions for
• 24:10
  conflict inc.
• 24:11
  So you can email me, text may call me, even if you just want a discovery call to understand
• 24:17
  it, and I can share with you a picture of even what the assess would look like because I'm a
• 24:22
  visual learner.
• 24:23
  So I like pictures.
• 24:24
  I like colors.
• 24:25
  So when I can see metrics with yellow to red and percentages in numbers, it gives a bigger
• 24:31
  picture, and it provides me more clarity.
• 24:34
  So sometimes, you know, just a discovery call because become conflict, curious, because it
• 24:39
  will have a on investment, and it will also have a return on your relationships.
• 24:44
  Awesome.
• 24:45
  Well, everyone, what what am I taking away?
• 24:47
  You know, I always learn so much every time I have some electronic on.
• 24:52
  I guess, you know, what I'm recognizing is, you know, what responsibility as leaders that
• 24:59
  people have to consider about the the bounce back effect of people coming back to work or
• 25:05
  being back at work.
• 25:06
  And if you don't know and you haven't looked at your numbers and you haven't kind of pulled
• 25:11
  that together, that's probably a a good thing to at your next, you know, health health and
• 25:17
  wellness strategy meeting.
• 25:19
  Just look at your numbers.
• 25:20
  What's your short term?
• 25:21
  What's your long term?
• 25:22
  What's your incidental absences?
• 25:24
  What's your kind of your level of productivity or presenteeism?
• 25:28
  Or absenteeism, like they say, I'm at work, but I'm only producing at about, say, 65%.
• 25:34
  Look at those numbers and then, like Trina said, what is the average wage and what is the
• 25:38
  loss that you could probably calculate?
• 25:40
  And what I'll ask Trina to do is to maybe, put a link in the show notes that you can probably
• 25:47
  do a basic one.
• 25:48
  And if you need more information, you can connect with her.
• 25:51
  So for my world, I am launching my book, June 10th here in Niagara and Internationally, in on
• 25:59
  June 27th, for anyone wanting to, learn more about authentic card leadership and some of the
• 26:05
  things we're talking about today, please go to roxanderhodge.com Derhodge slash book.
• 26:10
  You can pre order your book.
• 26:12
  And, you know, I hope that, I can connect with a lot of you at the launches that are
• 26:17
  happening.
• 26:18
  Again, Trina, thanks so much for your time.
• 26:20
  And for everyone, thanks for hanging out with us.
• 26:22
  We'll look forward to chatting with you again next week.
• 26:24
  Thank you.
• 26:25
  Take care.
• 26:26
  Thanks for tuning in to authentic living with Roxanne, creating the space for positive
• 26:32
  healthy change.
• 26:33
  Roxanne is a keynote speaker, psychotherapist, and coach to work with Roxanne, visit
• 26:39
  rocksandirhaj.com/blueprint.
• 26:43
  We'll see you next time.
• 26:45
  On authentic living with Roxanne.