Latest / Career Coaching with Fexingo: Professional Coaches, Career Counselors, and Guidance for Workers / How a Career Exit Interview Reveals Your Real Priorities
Transcript
- Lucas: So when was the last time you actually asked yourself, out loud, what you would say if you were quitting your job tomorrow? Luna: That's a surprisingly uncomfortable question. I think most of us only articulate that when we're already halfway out the door. Lucas: Exactly. And by then, emotions are high, you're frustrated, maybe you've already accepted another offer. The clarity you get in that moment is real, but it's also reactive. What I want to talk about today is doing that exercise proactively, on purpose, before you even think about leaving. Luna: You're talking about a mock exit interview. Like, sitting yourself down and pretending you've already handed in your notice? Lucas: Exactly. I've been digging into this concept because I saw a study recently from the Society for Human Resource Management that said nearly 40 percent of employees who quit cite lack of recognition or autonomy, not money, as the primary reason. But when you ask them in a normal performance review, they say compensation. The exit interview surfaces the real story because there's no fear of repercussions. Luna: Right, you're finally honest. So why not get that honesty from yourself when you still have time to do something about it? Lucas: That's the whole point. Let me tell you about a case that really crystallized this for me. A friend of mine, Priya, works as a senior engineer at a large cloud infrastructure company. She'd been there six years, good reviews, steady promotions, but she felt this low-grade dissatisfaction she couldn't name. She wasn't looking at job boards, nothing dramatic. Luna: That sounds like so many people I know. Not unhappy enough to leave, but not happy enough to feel energized. Lucas: Right. So I suggested she do a mock exit interview. I gave her three questions, and she sat down with her notebook, no distractions, and wrote out her answers. The first question was: What would you miss most about this job if you left tomorrow? Luna: What did she come up with? Lucas: She said she'd miss her team's Friday afternoon whiteboarding sessions where they'd brainstorm new features. That was the only thing. Not the salary, not the stock options, not the office view. Just those two-hour creative blocks with her peers. Luna: That's telling. So the thing she valued most was collaborative creativity. That's a priority she probably wasn't consciously protecting. Lucas: Exactly. Then the second question: What made you consider leaving in the first place? And she wrote down something surprising: She felt like her manager only gave her visibility on maintenance projects, never the shiny new architecture work. She was being trusted to keep things running, not to build the future. Luna: Ouch. That's a recognition problem, but it's also an autonomy and growth problem. Lucas: Right. And the third question: If you could redesign one thing about your current role, what would it be? She said she wanted a monthly 'innovation sprint' where she could work on a pet project unrelated to her day-to-day tickets. She had never asked for that because she assumed it wasn't on the table. Luna: And that's the killer. She had a solution she never articulated. So what happened next? Lucas: She took the answers to her manager. Not as a threat, not as 'I'm quitting.' She said, 'I did a personal reflection exercise, and I realized I'd be more engaged if I had more creative autonomy. Could we try a monthly innovation sprint?' Her manager said yes, and actually carved out two afternoons a month for her to work on a new internal tool. Luna: That's a huge win. And it didn't require a job change or a big raise. It required her to name what she actually needed. Lucas: And that's the power of the mock exit interview. You're not waiting for a crisis to force clarity. You're doing the diagnostic when you still have leverage and emotional distance. I think a lot of people quietly quit not because they want to leave, but because they've never fully articulated what would make them stay. Luna: That's a really good line. Let me ask you though — does this work for people who are genuinely unhappy, not just mildly dissatisfied? Lucas: It can, but the answers might be harder to act on. If the honest answer to 'what would you miss' is 'nothing,' that's also valuable information. It tells you the job has become a transaction, and you're probably already checked out. Then the exercise becomes more about planning your exit strategy than fixing the current role. Luna: So it's a diagnostic either way. It tells you whether to invest in the current role or prepare to leave. Lucas: Exactly. And I'd recommend doing this annually, or at least every time you feel a shift in your engagement. It's like a regular checkup for your career. You don't wait until your teeth hurt to see a dentist. Luna: Good analogy. And the three-question framework is simple enough that anyone can do it tonight. Let me make sure I have them: What would I miss? What made me consider leaving? If I could redesign one thing, what would it be? Lucas: That's it. And the third one is key because it forces you to be constructive. It's easy to complain, but harder to propose a specific change. And when you bring that to a manager, you look proactive, not negative. Luna: I want to try this myself. I think I already know my answer to the first question — I'd miss the collaboration with our guests and the spontaneity of live conversations. That's my creative outlet. Lucas: And if you suddenly lost that, you'd feel it. Which is why it's worth protecting. Look, we spend a third of our lives at work. The least we can do is be honest with ourselves about what we actually want from that time. Luna: Absolutely. And speaking of honesty, I want to mention something briefly. This show is ad-free, and that's a choice we made because we didn't want to interrupt conversations like this with commercial breaks. Lucas: Yeah, and the way it works is a small number of listeners chip in monthly through buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. That's literally what funds making this many episodes. No ads, no sponsors, just listener support. Luna: If this episode or any other has helped you think through a career decision, that's the reason we do it. And if you want to help keep it going, that link is buy me a coffee dot com slash fexingo. Lucas: Okay, back to the mock exit interview. One thing I want to add — Priya told me that doing the exercise gave her a sense of control she hadn't felt in years. She wasn't a victim of her job anymore. She had a roadmap. Luna: That's the real benefit. It's not just about the answers themselves, it's about reclaiming agency. You stop being passive about your career. Lucas: Exactly. And it's a tool anyone can use, regardless of level or industry. Whether you're an intern or a CEO, you have priorities. The question is whether you've taken the time to name them. Luna: So let's say someone does the exercise tonight. Then what? They have their three answers. What's the next step? Lucas: First, sit with the answers for 24 hours. Don't act immediately. Let them settle. Then identify which answer feels most actionable. If it's the redesign question, draft a one-paragraph proposal. If it's the 'what would I miss' answer, think about how to double down on that aspect of your job. If it's the 'why I'd leave' answer, consider whether it's fixable or a dealbreaker. Luna: And if it's a dealbreaker, then you start planning your exit. But at least you know, and you're not just drifting. Lucas: Exactly. And I want to emphasize that this is not about quitting on a whim. It's about clarity. I've seen too many people stay in jobs for years because they never stopped to ask what they actually wanted. They just kept showing up. Luna: There's a cost to that drift. It's not just unhappiness; it's lost potential. You could be contributing more elsewhere. Lucas: Right. And the mock exit interview is a low-stakes way to surface that. You're not handing in a resignation letter. You're just having an honest conversation with yourself. Luna: I think the hardest part for most people is the discipline to actually sit down and do it. Life gets in the way. Lucas: That's why I recommend scheduling it like a meeting. Put 30 minutes on your calendar for next Monday. Title it 'Career Check-in.' And turn off your phone. Treat it as seriously as you would a client meeting. Luna: And if you do it, I bet you'll surprise yourself. I know I will. Lucas: I'd love to hear from listeners who try it. You can reach us on social or through the show's page. But more importantly, I hope you act on what you learn. That's where the real change happens. Luna: One final thought — the mock exit interview isn't about leaving. It's about staying on purpose. Whether that means staying in your current role with new clarity, or leaving for a better fit, either way, you're choosing. Lucas: That's a great way to put it. We'll be back next episode with another tool to help you design a career you actually want. Until then, give yourself that 30 minutes. Luna: Thanks for listening, everyone.