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7 Actions to Practice Diplomacy at Work – Avoid Offending Colleagues · Enhance.training

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Practice diplomacy at work and you will go further in your career, be liked and appreciated by more people, build better relationships and be seen as more professional.
• 0:10
  SPEAKER_00: Being diplomatic at work is not about being untruthful or manipulating people.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: It is about packaging your message in a more persuasive or palatable form.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: When you are diplomatic and tactful, you can be a lot more honest and direct with feedback and with expressing your opinion and views without annoying or upsetting other people.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: Practicing being diplomatic is a choice.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: I've been in plenty of meetings where managers discuss who to promote and those that are not diplomatic, that aren't able to communicate directly and honestly, without offending, rarely get considered for promotion.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to get on with anyone and manage and maintain good working relationships is a must for anyone who is serious about their career and wants to enjoy being at work.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm covering these benefits of being diplomatic at work and then taking you through seven actions to practice diplomacy at work and avoid offending colleagues.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, diplomacy improves communication skills.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, diplomacy builds stronger relationships.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: Third, being diplomatic demonstrates management potential.
• 1:15
  SPEAKER_00: And then fourth, I've got seven actions to be more diplomatic at work.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Expressing opinion without offending is a great skill to have and is definitely valued by management.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: Being able to avoid offending others at work will help you build good relationships with a wider range of colleagues and make your time at work a lot more enjoyable.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Jess Coles and I've had a 25-year management career in corporate and household names such as Innocent Drinks, Fosters, EY and Peer Consulting, all the way through to SMEs.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: If you're new to this podcast, Enhanced.training shares business and people management expertise to help you improve your performance and that of your team and business.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: And do visit us at Enhance.training and take a look at the courses and resources for you to improve your management skills and the outcome your team delivers.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: Firstly, practice diplomacy at work to improve your communication skills.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: Take in what you're saying.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: Avoid offending colleagues by using a pleasant, light tone of voice, have relaxed body language, and use neutral wording.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_00: You can give a person quite a bit of negative feedback and they won't be particularly offended in this way.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: An example of being diplomatic at work.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: You might be thinking, this report is rubbish, I'm gonna have to spend an hour reworking it.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: But you might say, It appears you had quite a few challenges writing this report.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I know getting the right focus and tone is not easy.
• 2:50
  SPEAKER_00: Shall we sit down together and I'll take you through how I'd have written sections of this report?
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: Would that help you for next time?
• 2:58
  SPEAKER_00: Being diplomatic at work helps you communicate.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: Other people are much more likely to take in what you say or write and make the effort to understand the message.
• 3:08
  SPEAKER_00: One half of communication relies on the person you are communicating to.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: Make it as easy as possible for them.
• 3:14
  SPEAKER_00: Communicate with diplomacy.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, practice diplomacy at work to strengthen your professional relationships.
• 3:23
  SPEAKER_00: Which of these two people would you prefer to work with and like more?
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: The first person is nice and good at what they do.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: They are direct, to the point and very honest.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: They make statements or give feedback in a way that leaves you feeling a bit bruised at times, you know, emotionally stamped on, which takes energy for you to recover from.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: The second person is equally nice and good at what they do.
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: Their messaging is also direct and honest, so you know exactly where you stand.
• 3:54
  SPEAKER_00: Yet they always craft their messaging carefully to avoid upsetting you, to take into account your feelings.
• 4:01
  SPEAKER_00: Most will prefer the second person as working with them is easier and less emotionally draining.
• 4:08
  SPEAKER_00: You would also feel a lot safer and appreciate the effort the other person puts in to look after your feelings.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: Being a person that is easy to like and feels safe to be around encourages others to open up, to reveal more of themselves, their thoughts, their feelings, their hopes and their dreams.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: When you know and understand more about the other person, building trust and a meaningful personal and professional relationship with them is a lot easier.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: At work, when you have good relationships with a larger range of colleagues, you are much more likely to do a better job.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: We all depend on others to do our jobs well.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Diplomacy, likability and trust is a powerful combination for building professional and personal relationships.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_00: Practice each.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Thirdly, practice diplomacy at work to demonstrate your management potential.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: Being a manager thrusts you into needing to build and manage a wider range of relationships, with team members, with peers, with bosses, with suppliers and with customers.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_00: To do our jobs well as managers, we need to get the best we can from all the people we interact with.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Being tactful and diplomatic keeps those people on side and happy with us.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: And when they like us, appreciate and respect us, they are so much more likely to work harder on our projects, deliver on time, buy from us as customers, not let us down as suppliers and so on.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Demonstrate diplomacy in the workplace and you build confidence with your bosses that you can successfully manage all these important relationships.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: And managers also need to provide bad news and corrective feedback, you know, situations that can easily lead to negative impacts on relationships and the work being done by teams.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: Be diplomatic at work and a person that avoids offending colleagues and you demonstrate that you should be able to manage in the bad times as well as the good times.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Let's cover 7 actions to be more diplomatic at work.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Develop the habit of thinking before speaking.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: Think about what you plan to say and how this will be taken by the other person.
• 6:16
  SPEAKER_00: Just the act of consciously thinking through how what you might say will come across will influence and change what you actually say.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: Most people will pick up on the effort you put in and respond positively towards you.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: Developing the habit of thinking before speaking will feel a little awkward to start with.
• 6:34
  SPEAKER_00: With practice you'll be able to do this naturally while speaking.
• 6:39
  SPEAKER_00: Second, to avoid offending others, learn about the other person quickly.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: Practice actively listening and observing what gets them excited, what causes them to hesitate, what gets them angry, etc.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: Put yourself in their shoes and consider their wants and needs, ambitions, hopes, dreams and feelings.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: And if you don't know them, then keep what you say neutral until you know them better.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: The better you know them, the better you'll be able to navigate around the areas that they are sensitive about.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: Adapt your communication style to best suit the person you are communicating with.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: Third, in practicing diplomacy at work, control how you express your emotions.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: The more you practice observing yourself, the better you'll become at controlling how you express your emotions.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: Get to know what makes you angry and annoyed, you know, what behaviours you find hurtful, what makes you impatient, etc.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: When you recognize your own negative emotions, practice expressing them in a way that does not negatively impact the other person.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: If the other person has said something hurtful, don't respond with an angry tone of voice, giving them a hard time.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: Use a calm, neutral tone of voice and state that you found what they said hurtful.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_00: Control how you express your emotions.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Fourth, to be diplomatic, you must manage your body language, including your tone of voice.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Pay attention to the volume of your voice, the pace, the tone, and the pauses you're using.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: Pay attention to how you are sitting and how your face is showing emotions.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: Work at being more conscious of what you're doing.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: Observe the other person's reactions and responses to get feedback on how you're doing.
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Keep your body language and your tone of voice neutral to positive.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: Rein in feelings of anger, annoyance and other negative emotions and keep them out of your voice and body language.
• 8:31
  SPEAKER_00: Fifth, to avoid offending co-workers, think carefully about your timing.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: For example, don't ask them to do additional work after they've told you that they will have to work the weekend.
• 8:42
  SPEAKER_00: Think carefully about when to ask for help and when to offer help.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: And if you can't wait, then acknowledge that the timing is poor to the person you're speaking to.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: This helps to take some of the sting out of the situation.
• 8:55
  SPEAKER_00: Be aware of and choose your timing.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: Sixth, in practicing diplomacy at work, the words you use matter.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: Choose words that the other person understands and uses.
• 9:07
  SPEAKER_00: Choose words that don't insult, inflame or create negative emotions in the other person.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: Choose words that are appropriate and sensitive to the situation.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_00: This is not as easy as it might look.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: Your knowledge of the other person's thoughts and feelings will help you choose better words.
• 9:24
  SPEAKER_00: Their body language and voice, as far as they show emotions, will also help you.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: If in doubt, choose more neutral words that are less likely to drive strong emotions.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: You have an example of being diplomatic at work.
• 9:37
  SPEAKER_00: If you think an idea is rubbish, you don't say that it is rubbish.
• 9:40
  SPEAKER_00: You might say, I'm not sure that is the best approach for this situation because bum bum bum bum.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: And seventh, in practising diplomacy at work, be aware of cultural differences.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: I've worked in many international businesses and each country does something differently.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: The British are very polite and not very direct.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_00: The South Africans are much more direct and straight talking.
• 10:04
  SPEAKER_00: And the Israeli culture is even more direct and brash.
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: When you are communicating, you have to take these differences into account when going through the previous six actions.
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: Adapt your style and communication to the culture of the person that you're talking with.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: Being diplomatic at work is a skill that requires practice to get good at.
• 10:24
  SPEAKER_00: Understanding what you need to do is a very valuable starting point, otherwise, you'll be practicing the wrong things which will not help you.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: Make the time to practice.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Being more diplomatic at work will be hard at first, but it gets easier and easier with practice.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: Eventually you'll be practicing diplomacy at work without really thinking about it consciously.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: So, in summary, nearly everyone has to get on with a wide range of people at work.
• 10:50
  SPEAKER_00: We all have different wants, needs, views, backgrounds and ambitions.
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: We will all produce different ideas and different solutions, and we will not always agree.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: There are huge benefits to being diplomatic at work, and the manager benefits of not offending others are even greater.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: By being diplomatic at work, you will firstly communicate better as the other person is more likely to take in what you're saying.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, you'll build stronger relationships with more people as you'll be trusted to be considerate of their feelings.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Third, you'll have more influence over others and be better at persuading and getting what you want.
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_00: And fourth, you'll be more effective in your job no matter what job you do.
• 11:32
  SPEAKER_00: And as a quick recap, the seven actions to practice diplomacy at work and avoid offending co-workers include, firstly, think before you speak.
• 11:42
  SPEAKER_00: Secondly, get to know the person quickly, third, control how you express your emotions, fourth, manage your body language, fifth, timings matter, sixth, words definitely matter, and seventh, beware of cultural differences.
• 11:55
  SPEAKER_00: And if you have any questions, please drop me an email at support at enhance.training and I'll get back to you.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks for listening, and I look forward to speaking to you again soon.