Latest / Butterfly Days w Tami Jorden / Year One Rewind: You Are Not Done

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Year One Rewind: You Are Not Done · Butterfly Days w Tami Jorden

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  speaker-0 (00:02.242)
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  Welcome to MyRalm. I'm Tammy Jordan, and this is Butterfly Days, the podcast that proves you're not past your prime. You're living in it right now because women don't have expiration dates. Butterfly Days is a celebration of the extraordinary potential of Gen X and Boomer women. Throughout history, women have shared wisdom to uplift and empower one another. And you're about to learn hard-earned wisdom and best-kept secrets.
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  From interesting, inspiring women. So if you're ready to embrace your butterfly season with confidence, find joy in the present, and create a legacy that matters, you're in the right place. No more holding back. Let's spread our wings now. We go!
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  speaker-1 (00:48.288)
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  Here we go.
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  speaker-1 (00:58.914)
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  This episode is the one year anniversary of Butterfly Days and is a mashup of some of the wisest things that we've learned. It's not over and we're not done. For a year now, I've been asking women a version of the same question. What happens after the part of your life you planned for is over? What comes next? Are we just done? I want to tell you what I discovered. Not one of them said we're over. What you're about to hear is
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  Is a year of women telling the truth about reinvention. Simone Canego on the tiny word we use to shrink ourselves. Ari Bly on why walking away from something you built is not the same as losing it. Alison Nazarowski, who left a judge's bench in her 40s because she couldn't survive another decade of it. Dr. Julie Merriman, who calls her burnout scorched earth, and then tells you what grows there.
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  The lovely Ashley Rogers, who wrote and published an entire book at seventy five. Lindsay Goldstein, Christine Depre, Anissa Hudak, Theo Boyd, wonderful women. They didn't find a shortcut. Every one of them went through something, but they're all standing on the other side of it, and they've got something to say to you. Let's go hear what they have to say to you.
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  speaker-2 (02:24.15)
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  So I think one of the first things is really how we talk to ourselves and how we talk about ourselves. I have a a little thing that I like to use called drop the just. So because when we describe ourselves, we usually say, I'm just this. I'm just a stay-at-home mom. I'm just Rob's wife. I'm just a middle manager. I'm just a volunteer. You're not just anything. All the things that we do
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  make up who we are and when we start using the word just, we're like justifying our existence, which we do not need to do.
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  speaker-3 (02:56.526)
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  It's never too late to make the right decision for your life.
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  speaker-4 (03:00.064)
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  If you're going to grow a tree, you put in a lot of effort. You water it, you prune it, you fertilize it, you you put in a lot of work and a lot of skills in making that tree grow. And then people can see the tree. They don't see what you put in. But you then tie your success to that tree. And you're like, I can't walk away from this tree because that tree is my success. And we forget that no, what your success
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  is rooted in is your skills and everything that you put into that tree and you could take those anywhere you want.
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  speaker-5 (03:33.644)
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  I'm not
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  speaker-0 (03:34.04)
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  big reinvention person. I've had probably seven careers.
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  speaker-5 (03:36.136)
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  So it's never too late. You can constantly stand by yourself. Completely scorched earth. I was numb. I mean, I write about it in my book, but I was completely numb. I can remember coming off stage presenting, and you know, I had standing ovation, great accolades, and I felt nothing. I felt empty, just empty. I had just been going for so long. So that scorched earth can very much be your phoenix as well.
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  speaker-1 (03:39.544)
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  something.
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  speaker-4 (04:04.258)
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  women can get comfortable with saying, I am X and Y. We've been doing that our whole lives. I am an actuary and a mother and a spouse. And you know, it's one more thing. So pick something what's your next and? What else will you be?
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  speaker-3 (04:24.43)
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  couldn't see the big picture that day. But I was listening. Life is gonna be a beta test until you finally get to the into the polished version, which by the way, still needs upgrades. And for women, especially at this age, you know, we are done being the maiden.
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  speaker-0 (04:44.13)
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  And the mother.
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  speaker-3 (04:45.516)
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  That part of our lives are over. And now we have the choice. We could be sitting in a rocking chair, knitting, and being the victim and you know, watching Wheel of Fortune all day long. You know, I mean, whatever. And if you choose that, that's you that that's totally up to you. That is your choice. However, you don't have to. A lot of women create their legacies at this part of their life. I mean, look at Martha Stewart.
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  She didn't start her very first company until she was over fifty.
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  speaker-4 (05:16.59)
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  And then also get, you know, comfortable with just experimenting and kind of making it, okay, I think Casa might be a good opportunity for me. Let me try it without kind of feeling like I have to commit to this for the next 10 years of my life, or I have to, you know, I have to like it because now I'm choosing it. No, you you're you're experimenting. You're you're testing it out. You're you're thinking that this could be a good fit because I have these skills here and this
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  perspective here and if I put that together it might fit. But if it doesn't, yeah, that's fine too.
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  speaker-5 (05:50.518)
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  Yeah, starting today, doesn't matter what happened yesterday. Starting today the changes that you make can create and change what happens to you for the next twenty or thirty years. There's being ready.
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  speaker-0 (06:04.632)
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  You gonna allow
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  speaker-5 (06:05.326)
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  A fully evolved 55-year-old is something to behold.
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  speaker-1 (06:15.054)
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  I want you to sit with something Dr. Julie said. A fully evolved 55-year-old is something to behold. Not tolerated, not still hanging in there. Something to behold. Every woman you just heard could have stopped. Simone could have kept saying she was just a mom. Ari could have stayed with the tree she'd spent 25 years growing. Alison could have finished out her career on that bench and retired quietly.
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  They didn't, though, and not one of them describes their choice as brave. Allison told me it didn't even feel courageous at all. It just felt like survival. Maybe that's the most useful thing in this whole hour. You don't have to feel bold to go forward. You just have to be listening to the call of your own heart and take it a tiny step at a time. So this is my benediction for you.
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  May you love yourself enough to listen to your own heart. May you find unique, creative ways that fill your soul and do good in the world. And may the generations after us never worry that they're over at midlife because we left them wonderful examples. And remember, I'm rooting for you.
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  speaker-0 (07:36.622)
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  I'm so grateful you listened to this episode. I hope it was a real value to you. If there's a sister in your life who needs this message, please share it, just like women have done to lift each other up over the centuries and across cultures. Women lifting each other is so important. It's why I do this work. And to avoid FOMO and keep up-leveling your own life.
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  Make sure you don't miss the next episode. You may be losing hormones, but your life has given you powerful perspective. And I believe you have something to give that no one else does, that the world needs. So remember, I'm rooting for you. Let's
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  speaker-1 (08:20.066)
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  Go.