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Transcript

The Science of Crying: Why a Tactical Cry (and Sad Music) Is Good for You · Do You F*cking Mind?

0:14
Speaker 1: Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of Today.
0:17
Speaker 1: So today is an Encore episode because I am going
0:22
Speaker 1: on maternity leave. I have hand selected with my assistant Shanai.
0:26
Speaker 1: We've hand selected episodes that we think will be like
0:32
Speaker 1: just honestly your favorite. They're episodes that have either really
0:37
Speaker 1: great feedback or have been shared a lot amongst you guys,
0:41
Speaker 1: or have been shared a lot on socials and reshared
0:43
Speaker 1: on stories, so we thought, you know, we'd bring back
0:45
Speaker 1: kind of the top favorites are the ones that resonated
0:47
Speaker 1: the most with you guys. So I'm going on just
0:50
Speaker 1: three well, the podcast is going on three weeks of
0:54
Speaker 1: maternity leave. I am going on four months of maternity leave.
0:58
Speaker 1: But fear not, fret Nott, I have created an entire
1:03
Speaker 1: back catalog. So after these three weeks of Encore episodes,
1:06
Speaker 1: you will be receiving your normal dose.
1:09
Speaker 2: Of a Monday episode and a head Noise episode, and
1:11
Speaker 2: also some.
1:12
Speaker 1: Really cool mini series scattered throughout up until the end
1:15
Speaker 1: of the year, and then I will come back for
1:17
Speaker 1: regular programming mid January after kind.
1:20
Speaker 2: Of the Christmas break. So without fucking around any.
1:23
Speaker 1: Further, enjoy the episode. The Encore episode of Today. Love
1:28
Speaker 1: you guys so much. Hello, my beautiful beans, and welcome
1:37
Speaker 1: to the episode of Today. So in today's episode, we're
1:40
Speaker 1: going to be talking about crying and why a strategic
1:44
Speaker 1: cry can actually be good for you. There is quite
1:48
Speaker 1: a bit to talk about and the difference between We're
1:51
Speaker 1: gonna be talking about the difference between reflex tears or
1:54
Speaker 1: basil tears, that's tears that you produce just to keep
1:58
Speaker 1: the eye, you know, lubricated, or if something flies into
2:01
Speaker 1: your eye, versus emotional tears. They're actually different and they
2:04
Speaker 1: contain different shit in it. We're going to talk about
2:07
Speaker 1: what gets released when you cry. We're going to talk
2:09
Speaker 1: about what's going on in the brain when you cry,
2:11
Speaker 1: why it's good for you to have a strategic cry.
2:14
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about when you cry to sad music,
2:17
Speaker 1: all of that.
2:17
Speaker 2: We're going to talk about the good and we're going
2:18
Speaker 2: to talk about the potential bad as well.
2:21
Speaker 1: So you get a really good understanding about crying and
2:24
Speaker 1: how it can actually be quite therapeutic for you if
2:26
Speaker 1: done in the right way.
2:28
Speaker 2: So I'm very excited to talk about that. The brain
2:30
Speaker 2: fact is.
2:31
Speaker 1: Also a very very heavily requested brain fact surprisingly enough,
2:35
Speaker 1: and we're going to be doing the Brain Fact on
2:36
Speaker 1: emd R. But before we go into the Brain Fact,
2:40
Speaker 1: I thought i'd give a little life update.
2:43
Speaker 2: It's not even a life update.
2:44
Speaker 1: I just thought i'd give you a little recommendation on something.
2:46
Speaker 1: So I actually finished reading this book a while ago,
2:52
Speaker 1: but I thought I would recommend it to you.
2:54
Speaker 2: And the reason I.
2:55
Speaker 1: Thought about it is because it was on one of
2:57
Speaker 1: my friends stores the other day. She actually has a
2:59
Speaker 1: podcast as well, so Collogy if your twenties Gamma. I
3:01
Speaker 1: saw it on his stories and I'm like, fuck, babe,
3:03
Speaker 1: this is such a good book, Like forgot about it.
3:06
Speaker 2: I need to tell my audience about it. And it
3:07
Speaker 2: is The Midnight Library.
3:09
Speaker 1: So if you want an easy but very deep and
3:12
Speaker 1: thoughtful read, and it makes you feel it makes you
3:15
Speaker 1: ask yourself all these really important questions and kind of
3:18
Speaker 1: take a look at where you are in your life.
3:19
Speaker 1: It helps you to be more present and more grateful.
3:21
Speaker 1: It's a great read. I loved it, So The Midnight Library,
3:24
Speaker 1: very good book.
3:25
Speaker 2: Check that out. So there's a little recommendation for the day.
3:29
Speaker 1: And the next thing that I wanted to talk about
3:31
Speaker 1: before we get into the Brain Fact is that I
3:34
Speaker 1: have wanted to do this, and I've done it on
3:35
Speaker 1: a couple of episodes, but I want to do this
3:37
Speaker 1: more regularly. Is to poll well, not even Paul, but
3:39
Speaker 1: ask my audience certain questions and get your response and
3:43
Speaker 1: read them out on the podcast.
3:44
Speaker 2: So I did this a few weeks.
3:45
Speaker 1: Ago, then I stopped doing it, and I'm going to
3:47
Speaker 1: start doing it again because it's so fucking funny. And
3:49
Speaker 1: the reason that I thought about this one is because
3:52
Speaker 1: I was talking with my cousin the other day about
3:54
Speaker 1: really funny reasons as to why.
3:56
Speaker 2: Somebody dumped you.
3:58
Speaker 1: Funny or shocking or just really random and kind of
4:03
Speaker 1: out of proportion reasons as to why you've been dumped
4:06
Speaker 1: or why you've dumped somebody. And I promise that I'm
4:11
Speaker 1: going to share with you why I got dumped at
4:13
Speaker 1: the end of all of these that I'm going to
4:14
Speaker 1: read out, because I think that I've got a really,
4:17
Speaker 1: really plastic good one. I think it's going to be
4:20
Speaker 1: one of the most random reasons, almost outrageous reasons why
4:25
Speaker 1: somebody would break up with somebody else. So I'm gonna
4:27
Speaker 1: tell you about that after I read all of these.
4:29
Speaker 2: And there's are great you guys, So I asked the
4:31
Speaker 2: question on my Instagram.
4:32
Speaker 1: You guys sent through a bunch and they are very good,
4:36
Speaker 1: so let's just get straight into it.
4:37
Speaker 2: So the question was, what is the most random reason.
4:39
Speaker 1: That someone's broken up with you? You could also say why
4:43
Speaker 1: you broke up with someone else? And let's get straight
4:46
Speaker 1: into it.
4:46
Speaker 3: Here we go.
4:48
Speaker 1: Because my name is spelled Rachel and not Rachel, so
4:52
Speaker 1: it's two different spelling. Two a's in one name signals crazy.
4:57
Speaker 1: Can you imagine being dumped because you've got two a's
4:59
Speaker 1: in your name? They didn't feel obsessed with me, so
5:02
Speaker 1: they dumped me, Like I'm not obsessed with you either, bra, Yeah,
5:06
Speaker 1: I know. Okay, this one, I dumped someone because when
5:09
Speaker 1: he ate ice cream, he would get it on his
5:12
Speaker 1: face and he would leave it there.
5:14
Speaker 2: That's like an eck. I know this story personally, and
5:16
Speaker 2: it kind of breaks my heart for the guy.
5:17
Speaker 1: But fair enough, because then you can't really kiss this
5:20
Speaker 1: person if they've got like dairy residue all over their mouth. Anyway,
5:26
Speaker 1: he said, it's just not one hundred percent, but really
5:29
Speaker 1: it's because I lost his mom's snorkel in the ocean
5:35
Speaker 1: because they got the ick from me from my dog
5:38
Speaker 1: voice when I spoke to my dogs.
5:41
Speaker 2: I'd love to hear that.
5:42
Speaker 1: I wish you could send like a voice recording of
5:44
Speaker 1: what that sounds like, so I could agree or disagree
5:47
Speaker 1: if that's a valid dumping reason. Because I didn't work
5:49
Speaker 1: a white collar job. He had to take care of
5:52
Speaker 1: his cats and dogs and finish his thesis, so then
5:55
Speaker 1: he broke up with me. I was dumped because I
5:58
Speaker 1: was too ocd, because I was too good for them.
6:02
Speaker 1: That's such, Like, that's such a reason, isn't it when
6:04
Speaker 1: people dump you because you're too good for them?
6:08
Speaker 2: He asked me to be his girlfriend, and this is
6:11
Speaker 2: so good.
6:12
Speaker 1: He asked me to be his girlfriend, and three days
6:14
Speaker 1: later I received a text message saying consider yourself single.
6:19
Speaker 2: And never hurt from him again.
6:22
Speaker 1: The balls to do that, Like who is this person
6:27
Speaker 1: and what are they doing now with their life? I
6:29
Speaker 1: wonder It's like where are they now? We should do
6:31
Speaker 1: a where are they Now? Series for crazy exes? Because
6:35
Speaker 1: I loved my job too much, It's like, don't be
6:37
Speaker 1: too passionate. Turn that down because they needed to love
6:43
Speaker 1: themselves more and find themselves. He wanted to say together,
6:48
Speaker 1: but said he could never love me because he just
6:52
Speaker 1: didn't have it in him.
6:54
Speaker 2: So why does he want to be with you? I
6:55
Speaker 2: don't understand. Oh this is a good.
6:57
Speaker 1: One because he didn't want to use his phone credit
7:00
Speaker 1: texting me.
7:01
Speaker 2: This was in high school. Fair enough.
7:04
Speaker 1: You know you've got to do what you got to
7:05
Speaker 1: do to save money. His therapist told him to. He
7:11
Speaker 1: was never in therapy, and therapists will never say that. Actually,
7:14
Speaker 1: therapists should never say that. However, I got dumped as
7:18
Speaker 1: an adult in my twenties by someone I really liked, loved,
7:22
Speaker 1: actually someone I loved together for years, and he told
7:25
Speaker 1: me that his therapist said to him, quote, you are
7:29
Speaker 1: delaying the inevitable by staying with her.
7:33
Speaker 2: Then he dumped me. So I don't know if a
7:35
Speaker 2: therapist should actually say that.
7:36
Speaker 1: I don't know if that's the right thing to do,
7:38
Speaker 1: but yeah, I feel your pain.
7:40
Speaker 2: We've all been there, well, at least you and I
7:42
Speaker 2: have been there. So there you go.
7:43
Speaker 1: Because I didn't support the football team that he did
7:47
Speaker 1: because I was a vegan. I got dumped by my
7:52
Speaker 1: fifteen year old boyfriend when we were fifteen because he
7:55
Speaker 1: didn't have time for a relationship. We were fucking fifteen.
8:00
Speaker 1: You're a nice girl and all, but you swear too much.
8:04
Speaker 1: That would be me. I feel I've got like a
8:08
Speaker 1: what do you call it? Garbage mouth? Can't date you
8:11
Speaker 1: because you are vaping every blue moon.
8:15
Speaker 2: Okay.
8:15
Speaker 1: I found out from ask FM. Someone asked my ex
8:19
Speaker 1: about me and he said that we had split.
8:21
Speaker 2: Imagine, imagine. I'm guessing this is like a radio show
8:24
Speaker 2: and you just heard about it on.
8:25
Speaker 1: The radio because I didn't want to have kids with
8:28
Speaker 1: him right away, because I was a student and he
8:31
Speaker 1: was jobless. The height of people who have no financial
8:34
Speaker 1: means who demand children beyond because I refused to leave
8:40
Speaker 1: my dog home alone overnight.
8:43
Speaker 2: And then you got dumped because you care about your child.
8:45
Speaker 1: The Quran told him he had to because I spoke
8:48
Speaker 1: to his friend. It turns out that he was a
8:51
Speaker 1: Jehovah's witness and wanted to fuck around before being baptized.
8:56
Speaker 1: Then he had to dump you after the fact because
8:58
Speaker 1: I was too thoughtful. He said, I just wanted sex.
9:02
Speaker 1: You clearly wanted something more. I lasted as long as
9:05
Speaker 1: I could his mom, His mom and dad didn't approve,
9:09
Speaker 1: and offered money to end it.
9:12
Speaker 2: He's a ustler.
9:13
Speaker 1: He needed to find himself, but twenty four hours later
9:16
Speaker 1: he was dating his ex. Uh didn't have enough time
9:21
Speaker 1: to be the boyfriend that I deserved, but then dated
9:23
Speaker 1: a girl with a kid and not her up.
9:26
Speaker 2: My perfume gave him a headache.
9:30
Speaker 1: He ghosted me, and then he sent me a message
9:33
Speaker 1: months later saying, I hope you understand with the love hearts.
9:39
Speaker 2: Yes, I understand perfectly.
9:41
Speaker 1: His parents thought that I was average looking and my
9:43
Speaker 1: parents had more money, so he felt threatened. His parents
9:48
Speaker 1: didn't approve of me because I wasn't a doctor, okay,
9:54
Speaker 1: because I didn't listen to a band's catalog in order
9:57
Speaker 1: of release, it's too loud during sex because I wasn't
10:03
Speaker 1: thick enough, and then last one because of a weird
10:07
Speaker 1: vibe he had after a conversation, but he never even
10:10
Speaker 1: explained what that vibe was.
10:12
Speaker 2: These are great.
10:13
Speaker 1: I think this hopefully will help other people feel a
10:15
Speaker 1: bit more empowered.
10:16
Speaker 2: All or a bit more like Oh yep.
10:19
Speaker 1: This is just more common practice to be dumped for
10:21
Speaker 1: really outrageous reasons.
10:23
Speaker 2: Now I'm gonna.
10:25
Speaker 1: Explain to you, or just quickly tell you why I
10:27
Speaker 1: got dumped. I once got dumped. I was seventeen. He
10:30
Speaker 1: was twenty or nineteen at the time, and we had
10:33
Speaker 1: been dating for I think not long. Thank fuck, it
10:37
Speaker 1: wasn't long for many reasons. But anyway, we weren't dating
10:39
Speaker 1: for long. I was into it.
10:40
Speaker 2: I was into this guy, and he dumped me like
10:43
Speaker 2: probably a month in. Because if you're.
10:47
Speaker 1: Not Australian, i'll explain this in the second but if
10:48
Speaker 1: you're Australian you'll get this because he was stressed because
10:52
Speaker 1: he needed to renew his Medicare card. Firstly, like props
11:00
Speaker 1: for creativity on that reason to I think I can
11:03
Speaker 1: think of a thousand more logical reasons, even if they're fake,
11:07
Speaker 1: to dump someone. But because you need to renew your
11:09
Speaker 1: Medicare card first. For those of you that aren't in
11:11
Speaker 1: Australia listening to this podcast, your Medicare card is a
11:14
Speaker 1: government issued card to every single Australian citizen, including children,
11:19
Speaker 1: that you present when you're at the doctor so you
11:21
Speaker 1: can get free health care or rebates on your healthcare
11:25
Speaker 1: where the government pays for a portion of it. So
11:27
Speaker 1: when you go to the hospital, your Medicare card and
11:29
Speaker 1: then you don't have to pay anything. Right, your Medicare
11:32
Speaker 1: card gets sent out to you automatically, there's no process
11:35
Speaker 1: to renew. It runs out and you get mailed a
11:38
Speaker 1: new one. This kn't was stressed about his Medicare card
11:46
Speaker 1: and so he dumped me. Like, in hindsight, that is
11:49
Speaker 1: a brilliant, brilliant, brilliant, But luckily I wasn't too affected
11:55
Speaker 1: by it, maybe deep down because I'm like, this guy's
11:57
Speaker 1: an absolute, like wet piece of red. So we're really
12:01
Speaker 1: no one's losing anything. But I mean, imagine that happening
12:04
Speaker 1: to you if you really were in love with someone.
12:07
Speaker 1: That would just be such a blow because you're like,
12:08
Speaker 1: I know, that's not the reason. Okay, let's get straight
12:11
Speaker 1: into the brain factor of today. I'm going to explain
12:15
Speaker 1: to you what this EMDR is and why it is
12:22
Speaker 1: a good treatment for PTSD and also other things as well,
12:26
Speaker 1: but in particular PTSD.
12:29
Speaker 2: So EMDR is I movement desensitization and reprocessing. Okay.
12:36
Speaker 1: So it is designed to treat post traumatic stress disorder PTSD. Okay,
12:42
Speaker 1: So it has quite high or quite similar efficacy as
12:47
Speaker 1: in how effective it is in PTSD when you compare
12:50
Speaker 1: it to other psychological interventions and also when you compare
12:53
Speaker 1: it to pharmacological interventions. As well, So if you look
12:56
Speaker 1: at a lot of studies around it, it is quite
12:59
Speaker 1: effective treating patients with post traumatic stress disorder. Now, it's
13:04
Speaker 1: basically EMDR is basically a therapy designed to address any
13:10
Speaker 1: kind of condition that's stemming from traumatic memories. So the
13:13
Speaker 1: method basically involves moving the eyes in specific ways while
13:18
Speaker 1: you are reprocessing traumatic memories. So you're retrieving these traumatic memories,
13:23
Speaker 1: but your eyes are being moved its specific ways, and
13:26
Speaker 1: the aim is to help individuals heal from these distressing
13:29
Speaker 1: experiences quicker than other therapies. Now, it is based on
13:33
Speaker 1: this AIP model, which is adaptive information processing model. Now there's,
13:37
Speaker 1: by the way, there's many theories as to why e
13:40
Speaker 1: MDR works, but I'm only going to brush over a
13:43
Speaker 1: few because they're all theories.
13:45
Speaker 2: But it works.
13:46
Speaker 1: But the underlying reason as to why it works is
13:49
Speaker 1: a little bit it's debatable as to why. But it's
13:53
Speaker 1: based around this adaptive information processing model, which is developed
13:57
Speaker 1: by Francine Shapiro. And this AIP model explains that the
14:01
Speaker 1: brain stores normal and traumatic memories differently, So how we
14:05
Speaker 1: store these traumatic memories is not normal, and traumatic memories
14:09
Speaker 1: are often stored in a way that prevents this healthy healing.
14:13
Speaker 1: Hence why we then have all these other issues that
14:15
Speaker 1: crop up when you have PTSD. So this causes ongoing distress,
14:18
Speaker 1: it causes sensitivity to related stimuli, all these other issues,
14:22
Speaker 1: and these improperly stored memories can then trigger overwhelming fear
14:27
Speaker 1: or anxiety or panic anger, especially in response to sounds
14:32
Speaker 1: or smells or sites like any any trigger. Basically, so
14:35
Speaker 1: what's happening here is during a md OUR therapy, individuals
14:40
Speaker 1: access these traumatic memories in a controlled environment. You're with
14:43
Speaker 1: a therapist, and you combine these recalling of these traumatic
14:47
Speaker 1: memories with eye movements and guided instructions from the therapists.
14:52
Speaker 1: You don't do it alone, you do it in therapy,
14:54
Speaker 1: and the aim of this process is to help reprocess
14:59
Speaker 1: how that memory is then restored in the brain and
15:03
Speaker 1: therefore repair these mental injuries from these memories. Okay, so
15:07
Speaker 1: basically the aim is to bring them to the surface
15:10
Speaker 1: while you're doing these iron movements, and you're trying to
15:13
Speaker 1: make them less distressing and more manageable and reconsolidate them
15:18
Speaker 1: in your mind in a healthier way. Now, a big
15:21
Speaker 1: part of this therapy involves something called bilateral stimulation like
15:25
Speaker 1: moving your eyes back and forth while thinking about the
15:27
Speaker 1: traumatic memory. So this apparently helps the brain process the
15:31
Speaker 1: memory properly.
15:32
Speaker 2: When you're doing this bilateral movement, you're.
15:35
Speaker 1: Using more areas of the brain, You're engaging more areas
15:38
Speaker 1: of the brain, and the theory behind that is that
15:40
Speaker 1: that helps store the memory differently in a way that's
15:43
Speaker 1: not going to traumatize you in the future. Now, one
15:45
Speaker 1: of the standout features of m DR is this duel
15:49
Speaker 1: attention task. So this means that while you're focusing on
15:52
Speaker 1: the worst part of a traumatic memory, you are also
15:55
Speaker 1: following the therapist's fingers moving side to side. Okay, so
15:58
Speaker 1: some studies did find that this im movements, the em
16:02
Speaker 1: part of the AMDR, the I movements, is crucial for
16:06
Speaker 1: the success of the therapy, while other studies didn't see
16:09
Speaker 1: much difference when they compared EMDR with and without the
16:13
Speaker 1: I movement.
16:14
Speaker 2: But more there's.
16:16
Speaker 1: A lot of research that basically says that as long
16:19
Speaker 1: as you're getting this bilateral stimulation, whether it's with I
16:24
Speaker 1: movement or without eye movement, you're still going to get
16:26
Speaker 1: a lot of positive benefits. So there's so basically we
16:29
Speaker 1: know that it works. Some people say the I movement
16:31
Speaker 1: is crucial for it. Some people say, as long as
16:33
Speaker 1: you're getting bilateral stimulation, it doesn't have to be I'M
16:36
Speaker 1: movement and it's still going to work. But there's no
16:38
Speaker 1: harm in doing the I movement component of it. So
16:40
Speaker 1: that's that's the original what okay? Now, early EEG studies
16:47
Speaker 1: found that emda's eye movement might change how the brain's
16:50
Speaker 1: hemispheres interact, and that means that it helps people recall
16:54
Speaker 1: these episodic memories. So we're not exactly sure, like I said,
16:59
Speaker 1: what causes, But for those of you that are interested,
17:01
Speaker 1: it's effective. They've found it to be effective. If you
17:05
Speaker 1: want to try it. It's not going to be.
17:08
Speaker 2: Invasive as such.
17:10
Speaker 1: You're doing it in a controlled environment with a therapist,
17:14
Speaker 1: and I think give it a go. If you're interested
17:15
Speaker 1: in trying it, why not. It's not harmful And that's
17:19
Speaker 1: basically what's happening. So we're seeing that, for whatever reason,
17:22
Speaker 1: move it within the brain. Some study support the interhemispheric
17:25
Speaker 1: movement is what helps the reprocessing of this trauma, so
17:30
Speaker 1: it becomes a memory and not a traumatic memory anymore.
17:34
Speaker 2: So interesting.
17:35
Speaker 1: Now let's get into the hectic topic of today's podcast,
17:40
Speaker 1: which is crying and why it is actually good for you,
17:45
Speaker 1: or why a strategic cry is good for you and
17:48
Speaker 1: can help with your mood overall. Now, we've all fucking
17:52
Speaker 1: been there, right, We've all been in a position where
17:54
Speaker 1: we're in a lot of pain and then.
17:55
Speaker 2: The only thing that helps is to cry it out.
17:58
Speaker 1: We need to, just like, we can't think about anything
18:01
Speaker 1: until we sob it out, either alone or with.
18:03
Speaker 2: Someone who supports you.
18:04
Speaker 1: And once you've cried, you actually feel a sense of relief,
18:07
Speaker 1: You feel a bit better, you feel like you don't
18:09
Speaker 1: need to cry anymore.
18:10
Speaker 2: It's you know, it's healing.
18:13
Speaker 1: And the idea of holding in your tears can be
18:15
Speaker 1: so painful, and it stops you from focusing or being
18:18
Speaker 1: in touch with the people around you and the conversations.
18:20
Speaker 1: Sometimes I've tried to withhold tears and it's been so
18:24
Speaker 1: detrimental for me.
18:24
Speaker 2: It's just been absolutely awful. And I probably.
18:26
Speaker 1: Couldn't even tell you what happened during that time frame
18:28
Speaker 1: because I was so heavily focused on holding back the tears.
18:31
Speaker 1: So let's talk about why it is so good to
18:34
Speaker 1: cry it out and why a strategic cry every now
18:37
Speaker 1: and then that is, like moments where you allow yourself
18:40
Speaker 1: to cry, where you almost like schedule in a cry
18:43
Speaker 1: can be very beneficial. So we're going to be talking
18:45
Speaker 1: about what happens in the brain when we cry, the
18:47
Speaker 1: hormones and neurochemicals involved in emotional tears versus other kinds
18:51
Speaker 1: of tears, what happens when we hold back tears in
18:54
Speaker 1: times where we want to cry, and so this repressive
18:57
Speaker 1: coping and how it can be bad for our health.
19:00
Speaker 1: We're going to talk about music evoked sadness as a
19:02
Speaker 1: way of self soothing, So crying to music or putting
19:05
Speaker 1: on sad music to cry, why that can be good
19:07
Speaker 1: for you, and the difference between crying and making yourself
19:11
Speaker 1: think bad thoughts. Because I don't want this podcast to
19:15
Speaker 1: come across as confusing when I talk about suffering versus
19:17
Speaker 1: pain and all of that, so I will be addressing
19:19
Speaker 1: what I mean by that, and then at the end
19:22
Speaker 1: I'm going to talk about is there anything bad about strategically.
19:25
Speaker 2: Making yourself cry.
19:29
Speaker 1: Sense sad? Okay, So, one of the things that happens
19:35
Speaker 1: when we cry emotional tears is that it is a
19:38
Speaker 1: way of releasing stress hormones. Okay, there are stress hormones
19:43
Speaker 1: in your tears that you cry during an emotional crying
19:47
Speaker 1: session that does not exist in these reflex tears or
19:52
Speaker 1: basal tears.
19:53
Speaker 2: Okay. So, for example, things that get released to prolactin.
19:57
Speaker 1: Prolactin is a hormone that got its name because it
20:00
Speaker 1: gets reduced during lactation and breastfeeding, But prolactin is a
20:04
Speaker 1: mood stabilizer as well, so it's also released men and women.
20:08
Speaker 1: Everyone has it, but it derives its name because it's
20:11
Speaker 1: heavily linked to lactation. You release oxytocin in your tears, right,
20:17
Speaker 1: which is like a bonding neurochemical. It helps you bond
20:22
Speaker 1: and feel like closer to other people. You release something
20:27
Speaker 1: called adrenocorticotropic hormone lou Okay, this one, I always say
20:34
Speaker 1: it wrong. Luen kefalen, which is a stress hormone. Potassium,
20:40
Speaker 1: and manganese, Okay. So the release of all of these
20:44
Speaker 1: actually help regulate your body's stress, and the aim of
20:48
Speaker 1: this release of these hormones in the tears is to
20:51
Speaker 1: bring you back to homeostasis when you are crying for
20:55
Speaker 1: the most part, unless they're like really happy tears and
20:59
Speaker 1: it's all joy when you're crying. But when you're crying,
21:01
Speaker 1: you are under stress, under a level of stress or
21:04
Speaker 1: intense emotion, and your body is trying to aid you
21:07
Speaker 1: in returning to homeostasis. So the release of these tears
21:11
Speaker 1: is actually very beneficial. So you're actually flushing out the
21:15
Speaker 1: things that you want to flush out.
21:16
Speaker 2: It's really really interesting.
21:18
Speaker 1: Those things don't exist in reflex or basal tears, Okay,
21:21
Speaker 1: tears that just exist there to lubricate your eyes. Repressive
21:25
Speaker 1: coping is where you are trying to cope by not
21:29
Speaker 1: thinking about these memories. Now, I'm going to talk a
21:32
Speaker 1: little bit about repressive coping versus forcing yourself to think
21:36
Speaker 1: of sad memories. When I talk about pain versus suffering,
21:40
Speaker 1: I talk about pain being inevitable and suffering being a choice.
21:44
Speaker 2: When you are hit.
21:46
Speaker 1: With a wave of emotions and they are painful emotions,
21:49
Speaker 1: that is pain, That is you experiencing pain, and I
21:52
Speaker 1: believe and it's not you know what, it's not a belief.
21:55
Speaker 1: The science shows that when these emotions are rise, it
22:01
Speaker 1: is a lot healthier to delve into the emotions and
22:05
Speaker 1: experience them, whether that mean to cry, to feel frustrated,
22:09
Speaker 1: to name your emotions, to vent to somebody else, to
22:13
Speaker 1: talk about your feelings out loud, either alone or with
22:16
Speaker 1: somebody else. It is a lot healthier to do that
22:19
Speaker 1: than to repress. So to when you get this wave
22:22
Speaker 1: of emotions, to say I'm not gonna cry, I'm not
22:24
Speaker 1: gonna cry, distract, distract, distract, distract, distract, not let yourself
22:29
Speaker 1: feel anything, drink away your pain.
22:33
Speaker 2: Get on your phone, do all these things.
22:36
Speaker 1: The science shows that repressing as a form of coping
22:40
Speaker 1: is very bad for you for many reasons because you're
22:43
Speaker 1: not actually dealing with your emotions, so you're not learning
22:45
Speaker 1: and you're not getting that healing. It crops up and
22:48
Speaker 1: affects all kinds of other situations for yourself in the future,
22:51
Speaker 1: So it increases your level of fear for other situations
22:53
Speaker 1: because you didn't deal with it. It changes your attachment style
22:57
Speaker 1: because you could become more avoidant because you're not deal
23:00
Speaker 1: with your own emotions, so you become less empathetic, less
23:02
Speaker 1: sympathetic when you don't allow yourself to be in touch
23:05
Speaker 1: with your emotions. Which is really interesting and now I
23:10
Speaker 1: didn't look into a study of this, but this could
23:12
Speaker 1: also be because women cry five times more than men
23:15
Speaker 1: at least, that's what's reported roughly five times more than men.
23:19
Speaker 1: And women are also way more in tune with talking
23:21
Speaker 1: about emotions with each other, and they're very sympathetic, very empathetic,
23:26
Speaker 1: versus men who often will discuss you know, events and circumstances,
23:32
Speaker 1: but are less likely.
23:33
Speaker 2: I mean, the generations coming through a lot better.
23:35
Speaker 1: And there's a big push for men to talk about
23:36
Speaker 1: their emotions, but they're less likely likely amongst men to
23:39
Speaker 1: be discussing emotional things on a regular basis like women do.
23:42
Speaker 1: So that could be some sort of a link where
23:44
Speaker 1: women are more likely to cry and therefore more in
23:47
Speaker 1: touch with their emotions and therefore more empathetic and sympathetic
23:50
Speaker 1: at least when it comes to emotional things like crime.
23:53
Speaker 1: Another thing that happens is that when you have this
23:57
Speaker 1: repressive coping strategy, it is linked to cardio vascular disease, hypertension,
24:04
Speaker 1: higher stress, higher levels of anxiety, and higher levels of depression.
24:08
Speaker 2: So not crying and repressing is linked to all of this.
24:13
Speaker 2: So when you feel the emotion, that's not you suffering.
24:16
Speaker 1: I never want you to think that when I talk
24:18
Speaker 1: about pain versus suffering, it means don't feel your emotions.
24:21
Speaker 2: I'm all for, and.
24:22
Speaker 1: I do say this in these episodes, but when I
24:24
Speaker 1: brush over that statement, I want you to realize what
24:26
Speaker 1: I mean. Feel your emotions, go through them, and experience
24:29
Speaker 1: them for what they are suffering.
24:32
Speaker 2: Is I'm feeling pretty good today, Let's.
24:34
Speaker 1: Fucking open my fuck on Instagram and go all my
24:38
Speaker 1: exes feed and ruin my day, cock block myself from
24:43
Speaker 1: having a good time, have demons create all these problems
24:47
Speaker 1: for myself because I've chosen to dig. It's like when
24:51
Speaker 1: you think I check your ex's phone, I mean check
24:53
Speaker 1: your partner's phone to see if they're texting anyone.
24:55
Speaker 3: Ja.
24:56
Speaker 1: That's suffering. You're causing yourself suffering. You know, you're trying
24:58
Speaker 1: to dig for clues that something bad's going on. That's suffering.
25:04
Speaker 2: Okay.
25:05
Speaker 1: But pain when an emotion is arising should be felt
25:08
Speaker 1: so you can work through it and not try and
25:10
Speaker 1: avoid it.
25:10
Speaker 2: Okay.
25:11
Speaker 1: So suppressing your emotions actually makes them worse. It heightens them,
25:16
Speaker 1: it internalizes them, it grows inside of you, it does
25:19
Speaker 1: not go away on its own, Okay.
25:21
Speaker 2: And doing this chronically so not once off.
25:24
Speaker 1: If you do this as a once off, you're ultimately
25:27
Speaker 1: going to be fine. But if you do it chronically,
25:29
Speaker 1: if you're someone that never expresses your pain, it's going
25:32
Speaker 1: to cause you obviously anxiety and stress, but it's going
25:35
Speaker 1: to make you irritable, give your short fuse, it's going
25:38
Speaker 1: to affect your sleep, and then of course all of
25:40
Speaker 1: that is going to lead to long term health conditions
25:45
Speaker 1: as well. So if you need to cry, cry, and
25:49
Speaker 1: I'm not saying cry even in the most inappropriate times.
25:54
Speaker 1: I understand that you might be talking to your boss
25:56
Speaker 1: and they say something you think it feels unprofessional to cry.
25:59
Speaker 2: That might be the case for you, and that's fine.
26:01
Speaker 1: Don't cry in that moment, but then always allow yourself
26:03
Speaker 1: to then feel that after if.
26:05
Speaker 2: You've been like holded in, holded in, go to the
26:07
Speaker 2: bathroom after it.
26:07
Speaker 1: Haven't let it out, let the tears out, and then
26:10
Speaker 1: you'll notice you're like, oh, okay, I needed to cry,
26:13
Speaker 1: feel a lot. Better call someone and cry it out
26:15
Speaker 1: on the phone, where you're like, oh, sometimes I just
26:17
Speaker 1: call my my poor fucking mum. I think a lot
26:19
Speaker 1: of moms bear the brunt of the children's emotional like outbursts,
26:23
Speaker 1: but sometimes I'll call my mom and be like, no,
26:24
Speaker 1: I just need to tell you everything that's get.
26:27
Speaker 2: It off my chest, and I'm like, oh, I feel
26:28
Speaker 2: so much better.
26:29
Speaker 1: Thank you for listening to me, because I was able
26:31
Speaker 1: to cry and get it out in that moment.
26:32
Speaker 2: Okay, so crucial. It's so important.
26:35
Speaker 1: And for those of you that are in that position
26:37
Speaker 1: where you're like, well, I never really cry in the
26:38
Speaker 1: moment because I don't want to feel embarrassed or whatever,
26:41
Speaker 1: because you know, some people have this link to feeling
26:43
Speaker 1: embarrassment and they cry. The good news is that delayed
26:49
Speaker 1: it's called delayed cathasis.
26:50
Speaker 2: So that's where you delay your cry.
26:52
Speaker 1: You had a really horrible thing go down, you suppressed
26:54
Speaker 1: it because you didn't feel like it was appropriate to
26:56
Speaker 1: cry in the moment, or maybe you're alone in public
26:58
Speaker 1: you're like, I don't want a stranger to console me.
26:59
Speaker 2: I'm crying in public. You hold it, hold it in.
27:02
Speaker 1: Then when you let it out later, studies have shown
27:04
Speaker 1: that this delayed catharsis still produces very similar results to
27:11
Speaker 1: crying in the moment. So where you release, it's self soothing,
27:16
Speaker 1: it's calming, it's cathartic, you feel a lot better.
27:19
Speaker 2: You still release those hormones that you need to release.
27:21
Speaker 2: So putting on sad.
27:23
Speaker 1: Or emotional movie or music and using that opportunity to
27:27
Speaker 1: let yourself cry out the bottled up emotions from that
27:29
Speaker 1: day or from your week, it actually still has very
27:34
Speaker 1: very similar.
27:34
Speaker 2: Effects to crying in the moment.
27:36
Speaker 1: So if you're somebody that prefers to do it that way,
27:38
Speaker 1: if you're somebody that doesn't like to cry in front
27:40
Speaker 1: in front of other people, but you still want to
27:41
Speaker 1: be in tune with your emotions, then just putting on
27:43
Speaker 1: a sad song or a sad movie is going to
27:45
Speaker 1: have very similar benefits for your mood, for your mental health,
27:50
Speaker 1: for the overall healing and casis. So that's a really
27:52
Speaker 1: good good thing to know now, I want to Oh
27:56
Speaker 1: and also, studies have also shown that crying late or
28:00
Speaker 1: in the moment helps improve healthy attachment, secure attachment, closeness
28:06
Speaker 1: with other people, and of course empathy. So and the
28:10
Speaker 1: reason for this why it helps improve attachment is because
28:13
Speaker 1: you're not avoiding, You are facing your emotions, and you're
28:17
Speaker 1: allowing yourself to be in your emotions, and you're realizing
28:22
Speaker 1: that when you feel your emotions, it's actually not the
28:25
Speaker 1: worst case scenario. There is actually a level of you
28:29
Speaker 1: actually feel this weird.
28:32
Speaker 2: It's so funny. We avoid feeling it, avoid avoid.
28:35
Speaker 1: I don't want to go there because it's going to
28:36
Speaker 1: be a roller coaster of emotions. But for almost everyone,
28:41
Speaker 1: not everyone, I'll go into that in a second, but
28:43
Speaker 1: for almost everyone when you do go there, yes it's painful,
28:47
Speaker 1: Yes it's overwhelming, but there's a portion of it that's
28:51
Speaker 1: quite enjoyable and therapeutic in the sense of like it's
28:54
Speaker 1: this is healing, I kind of need to do it.
28:57
Speaker 1: The times are of repressed, repressed, repress, and the final
29:00
Speaker 1: myself cry it out.
29:00
Speaker 2: That's where you feel the relief.
29:02
Speaker 1: Okay, now let's talk about something called music evoked sadness.
29:08
Speaker 2: There's a study that was done.
29:09
Speaker 1: There's many studies that was done, but this one in
29:11
Speaker 1: particular in twenty fourteen in Berlin, it was done. It
29:14
Speaker 1: was called the Paradox of Music evokes Sadness, and it
29:17
Speaker 1: was just like a massive server that was run and
29:19
Speaker 1: it basically found that people experience four different rewards while
29:24
Speaker 1: listening to sad music. Number one is the reward of imagination.
29:29
Speaker 1: Number two is the reward of emotional regulation. It gives
29:33
Speaker 1: you the opportunity to regulate your emotions, so if there's
29:36
Speaker 1: something underlying there, it gives you the chance to bring
29:39
Speaker 1: it up to the surface, deal with it, and then
29:41
Speaker 1: you feel a lot calmer after the fat empathy.
29:45
Speaker 2: It increases empathy, and.
29:47
Speaker 1: Also you get the reward of the lack of real
29:50
Speaker 1: life implications. So you can cry it out in that
29:52
Speaker 1: moment listening to music, but you don't have to experience
29:56
Speaker 1: that in the real world setting. Okay, so you're able
29:59
Speaker 1: to you have this self soothing therapy on your own.
30:04
Speaker 2: Okay.
30:05
Speaker 1: Now, when you have this music evokes sadness, you get
30:09
Speaker 1: this release of prolactin, and it makes us feel pleasure
30:14
Speaker 1: from our sad moods. It consoles us, and prolactin actually
30:19
Speaker 1: serves to calm you when you are crying specifically and
30:22
Speaker 1: also when you are under stress. So you're getting this calm,
30:26
Speaker 1: this calming hormone that is released when you cry and
30:30
Speaker 1: in prolactin.
30:31
Speaker 2: When this prolactin gets released when you cry.
30:33
Speaker 1: If you are in deep distress or in a traumatic event,
30:37
Speaker 1: you cry, and you probably don't feel the pleasurable effects
30:40
Speaker 1: because there's a lot of stress or trauma going on.
30:43
Speaker 2: However, when people cry to.
30:45
Speaker 1: Sad music, when they're not experiencing something really deeply distressing,
30:49
Speaker 1: but there might be reminiscing, or they might just be
30:51
Speaker 1: going down, you know, like this emotional thing. Because there's
30:55
Speaker 1: not so much stress in the body. It's kind of
30:57
Speaker 1: like a tactical cry almost. Then you actually feel these
31:00
Speaker 1: really enjoyable effects because the prolactin can be felt. Because
31:04
Speaker 1: it's not having to deal with so much intensity of stress.
31:07
Speaker 1: You're actually feeling the effects of this prolactin, and that's
31:10
Speaker 1: where it can actually become pleasurable. That's where this cry,
31:14
Speaker 1: listening to sad music or watching a sad film starts.
31:16
Speaker 2: To become enjoyable. Okay, Now I've got.
31:20
Speaker 1: A friend, he's the best, and he told me a
31:22
Speaker 1: few weeks ago, so he's gonna love this episode. He
31:25
Speaker 1: told me a few ages ago actually that he will
31:27
Speaker 1: probably have a tactical cry once a week, and I
31:31
Speaker 1: was like, what do you mean, and he goes, oh,
31:34
Speaker 1: I'll just like put on a sad movie or whatever,
31:35
Speaker 1: and I just cry it out and I feel so
31:38
Speaker 1: good after, and I was like.
31:39
Speaker 2: What, but who has time?
31:43
Speaker 1: The starters and then doesn't anyway, So I thought I've
31:46
Speaker 1: been thinking about that for a while where he talks
31:47
Speaker 1: about this tactical crime and how good it makes him feel.
31:49
Speaker 1: So and I thought, I've got to look into this,
31:51
Speaker 1: and then when I looked into it, I'm like, I've
31:52
Speaker 1: got to do an episode on this, obviously.
31:54
Speaker 3: But anyway, so listening to a sad song will help
31:58
Speaker 3: you grieve, It's going to help you heal from a heartbreak,
32:02
Speaker 3: and it's much more therapeutic then listening to a sad
32:05
Speaker 3: song and sitting in that moment to grieve and then
32:08
Speaker 3: step out of it and do something fine or enjoyable
32:11
Speaker 3: or lighthearted, versus using stalking your exce on social media
32:15
Speaker 3: as a coping mechanism.
32:16
Speaker 2: Notice the difference.
32:17
Speaker 1: One is causing suffering because one is anxiety provoking, which
32:22
Speaker 1: is anxiety is basically the difference between where you are
32:25
Speaker 1: now where you think you should be.
32:26
Speaker 2: That's how I label it, whereas the other one is
32:29
Speaker 2: more I need to heal.
32:31
Speaker 1: One is trying to change the reality, trying to control
32:35
Speaker 1: the external circumstances when you stalk your exes because you're
32:38
Speaker 1: trying to get some semblance of control, while the other
32:41
Speaker 1: one is I'm trying to soothe myself and heal. Got
32:44
Speaker 1: nothing to do with controlling something outside of you, and
32:47
Speaker 1: that is why it's very different to listen to sad
32:50
Speaker 1: music to help you heal and overcome something. Music evoked
32:54
Speaker 1: sadness is also really good for people that are trying
32:57
Speaker 1: to learn how to deal with them emotions through music
33:01
Speaker 1: instead of bottling it up. So if you are somebody
33:03
Speaker 1: that is listening to this podcast right now who really
33:06
Speaker 1: struggles to face your emotions, doing it through music or
33:10
Speaker 1: a film, but music is what the studies are primarily on.
33:15
Speaker 1: And also if you know somebody who never cries, never
33:17
Speaker 1: shows their emotions, send them this episode. Do it in
33:21
Speaker 1: private where you feel safe, in a safe environment, listen
33:24
Speaker 1: to music, be alone, and allow yourself to be in
33:28
Speaker 1: touch with your emotions and cry and feel it and
33:31
Speaker 1: go through that wave and experience the pain that you've
33:36
Speaker 1: felt and validate those feelings for yourself. Because when you
33:40
Speaker 1: do this with music, it actually helps you to learn
33:47
Speaker 1: how to deal with emotions in the future, So it
33:50
Speaker 1: becomes a.
33:51
Speaker 2: Form of therapy. If you're somebody that bottles it up,
33:53
Speaker 2: bottles it up, bottles it up.
33:55
Speaker 1: The more you can access this way of coping by
33:58
Speaker 1: crying it out and being in touch with your emotions.
34:01
Speaker 1: The next time something intense comes up, you are able
34:03
Speaker 1: to work through those emotions in the moment instead of
34:06
Speaker 1: bottling it up and having its surface out as anxiety
34:09
Speaker 1: or irritability later down the track, in a few months, years,
34:13
Speaker 1: or for some people, they will bottle things up forever
34:15
Speaker 1: and then have a breakdown decades later.
34:18
Speaker 2: Okay.
34:19
Speaker 1: So it's very very important. So if you're someone who's like,
34:21
Speaker 1: that's fucking me, do it alone. Start doing it alone.
34:24
Speaker 1: You don't have to do it in public. It's okay.
34:27
Speaker 1: You don't have to have shame about that either. Work
34:30
Speaker 1: through it alone. But you actually will find that the
34:32
Speaker 1: more in touch you up with your emotions alone, the
34:34
Speaker 1: easier it is to then open up to other people
34:35
Speaker 1: because your empathy and your sympathy goes up. Okay, now,
34:40
Speaker 1: to wrap up what we're saying, if you feel low,
34:45
Speaker 1: if you are struggling, if you feel sad, if you
34:48
Speaker 1: feel like you need to overcome some intense emotional pain,
34:53
Speaker 1: crying and listening to sad music is a really good
34:56
Speaker 1: way to face your feelings, to feel them and work
34:59
Speaker 1: through them, un to stand them and heal. Okay, it's cathartic.
35:03
Speaker 1: It helps you feel good. It's always going to be
35:06
Speaker 1: better than bottling it up. However, if you feel perfectly fine,
35:11
Speaker 1: forcing yourself to regularly cry is not going to boost
35:14
Speaker 1: your mood. Okay, It's not like, Oh, if there's no
35:17
Speaker 1: reason to cry and you don't feel sad and there's
35:19
Speaker 1: nothing bottled up, go cry, because it's going to improve
35:21
Speaker 1: your mood, not necessarily.
35:23
Speaker 3: So.
35:23
Speaker 1: The studies have also shown that this works only in
35:27
Speaker 1: moderation as a way to help you cope with existing
35:30
Speaker 1: feelings that need to be faced and felt and moved
35:33
Speaker 1: through and not avoided. Okay, But becoming addicted and trying
35:37
Speaker 1: to cry yourself to sleep every single night with music,
35:40
Speaker 1: thinking this is going to boost my mood overall, it
35:42
Speaker 1: actually has the opposite effects. So if you do this
35:44
Speaker 1: all the fucking time and try and bring yourself into
35:46
Speaker 1: a low mood intentionally on a regular basis for no
35:50
Speaker 1: real reason other than you like you're seeking this intense feeling,
35:54
Speaker 1: it can actually lead to sadder moods overall, doing it chronically,
35:58
Speaker 1: doing it repeatedly all the time. So you want to
36:00
Speaker 1: look at it more off, Well, I've had a really
36:03
Speaker 1: hard day. Wow, I feel on edge. Wow, I don't
36:05
Speaker 1: feel really good.
36:06
Speaker 2: Go home. If you feel a bit emotional, put on
36:08
Speaker 2: a so I think, cry it out. I feel good.
36:09
Speaker 1: If you're going through a breakup, let yourself cry it out,
36:12
Speaker 1: but don't do it every fucking three seconds. Have the cry,
36:16
Speaker 1: and then do what I say when I go through,
36:18
Speaker 1: when I talk about a breakup thing. Then do the
36:20
Speaker 1: distracting tasks. Then do the things that are going to
36:23
Speaker 1: make you feel a bit better. You don't want to
36:24
Speaker 1: sit in this zone forever. The point of this whole
36:27
Speaker 1: thing is if you need to cry, cry, if you
36:30
Speaker 1: don't like crying in public, and you need sort of
36:32
Speaker 1: a guided way of crying, then use music to allow
36:35
Speaker 1: you to access those emotions in private or on your
36:39
Speaker 1: own time. Okay, but I'm not saying, and the studies
36:42
Speaker 1: are also saying, don't actively force yourself into this state
36:47
Speaker 1: of crying all the time for no reason, because that's
36:50
Speaker 1: not going to be the crazy.
36:52
Speaker 2: It's not going to give you all these benefits either.
36:54
Speaker 1: Okay, now I have to do I have to also
36:57
Speaker 1: mention at the very end of this to wrap it up.
37:00
Speaker 1: Just like anything else, these studies are focusing on general populations.
37:04
Speaker 2: Okay, So it is actually reported that I'm too.
37:07
Speaker 1: Up to one fifth of participants in some studies, not
37:11
Speaker 1: all of them report not feeling great after a strategic
37:15
Speaker 1: cry and instead feeling weak, tired, depressed, and embarrassed. Okay,
37:20
Speaker 1: So if that's you, that might not be your thing
37:24
Speaker 1: to cry to music in your own time, Okay. So,
37:27
Speaker 1: but it's just to demonstrate that for most people it
37:30
Speaker 1: is effective.
37:31
Speaker 2: I often, you.
37:32
Speaker 1: Know, I, by the way, guys follow me on TikTok
37:35
Speaker 1: alexis predez on TikTok because I do a lot of
37:37
Speaker 1: chat to camera brain facts, get amongst it and just
37:41
Speaker 1: share because I'm trying to grow the TikTok, so everyone
37:43
Speaker 1: can get these snippets of brain facts. But basically, sometimes
37:47
Speaker 1: I'll share something on TikTok or Instagram and someone will say, like,
37:51
Speaker 1: maybe on this is how to cope with anxiety in
37:53
Speaker 1: the moment, And someone will say, I have anxiety and
37:55
Speaker 1: this does not work for me, And I'm like, that's
37:59
Speaker 1: fair because just like pharmacology, just like medicine, it doesn't
38:05
Speaker 1: work for everybody. You know, we are very complicated creatures,
38:09
Speaker 1: and what works for the general population might not work
38:12
Speaker 1: for you.
38:13
Speaker 2: What works for some might not work for you.
38:14
Speaker 1: You might have something that really works for you, but
38:16
Speaker 1: it doesn't work for the general population. What I aim
38:19
Speaker 1: to do with my podcast and with everything I talk
38:22
Speaker 1: about is speak about what the data is showing for
38:26
Speaker 1: the general population, and then it's up to you if
38:28
Speaker 1: you want to give it a go or not. But
38:30
Speaker 1: I don't think it's fair to slam somebody for giving
38:33
Speaker 1: some advice on what works for the general population, saying
38:35
Speaker 1: it's bullshit that doesn't work.
38:36
Speaker 2: I tried, it didn't work for me. It means it
38:38
Speaker 2: didn't work for you, but it doesn't mean it doesn't work.
38:41
Speaker 1: So, like everything, it's on a you know, case by
38:44
Speaker 1: case basis. But I thought it would be really interesting
38:47
Speaker 1: that if it's someone that really loves a strategic cry,
38:50
Speaker 1: there is the science behind it, and that is why
38:52
Speaker 1: you feel good after you do it. You release these hormones,
38:54
Speaker 1: you release these chemicals, and if you're someone that bottles
38:56
Speaker 1: it up, please learn how to express your emotions and
39:00
Speaker 1: allow yourself to feel the emotions.
39:01
Speaker 2: It's going to do wonders for your mental health. It's
39:03
Speaker 2: going to do wonders.
39:04
Speaker 1: For your attachment and how you connect to other people
39:08
Speaker 1: and how secure you feel in general with yourself your
39:12
Speaker 1: relationship with yourself and your relationship with other people. Okay,
39:16
Speaker 1: and it's also going to help curb your fear in
39:19
Speaker 1: many situations, whether it's intimate or whether it's about your
39:22
Speaker 1: own abilities as well.
39:24
Speaker 2: I love that topic. I hope you guys loved it too.
39:27
Speaker 2: Please please, please please rate give the podcast a five
39:31
Speaker 2: star review if heavn't already.
39:33
Speaker 1: It really helps my podcast grow, it helps reach your audiences.
39:36
Speaker 1: Please review, share your stories of how the podcast has
39:40
Speaker 1: helped you or how you found the podcast. I really
39:42
Speaker 1: appreciate it, and it really really does help me. My
39:46
Speaker 1: podcast grows because of you guys and because of word
39:49
Speaker 1: of mouth, so I really appreciate us helping each other
39:52
Speaker 1: out me with the podcast with you guys and you
39:54
Speaker 1: guys sharing the word. So thank you so much for
39:57
Speaker 1: already doing that and for doing it today as well.
40:01
Speaker 2: That is all, Love you guys so much.
40:03
Speaker 1: As always, please remember, be kind to yourself, becind to
40:05
Speaker 1: your brain, don't take shit from anyone, and especially don't
40:08
Speaker 1: take shit from yourself.
40:10
Speaker 2: Don't