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10: Unleashed/ Best Moments & Laughs 🤣 · Funny Comedy | Laugh Out Loud

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Jada goes, Tiff, what you what you doing tomorrow?
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, girl, I got me a group on to a swamp tour, so that's what I'm doing.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, For real?
• 0:07
  SPEAKER_00: Who you going with?
• 0:08
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I'm going by myself.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, all by yourself?
• 0:11
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, yeah, it's a swamp tour.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm going by myself.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have no friends out here in New Orleans.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, girl, we should go with you.
• 0:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, ah, that'll be nice.
• 0:18
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, yeah, we're going with you.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, girl, you're not going with me.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: You know how you famous people do say you're gonna do something, but then you don't do it.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, no, we're gonna go.
• 0:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, yeah, right.
• 0:26
  SPEAKER_00: So the next day came about, right?
• 0:28
  SPEAKER_00: And um, I'm like, it's 12 o'clock.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, shit, they ain't really gonna go.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: They ain't called me yet.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I smoked some of the best weed ever.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: I had imported, I had imported it from LA, right?
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: So it's the finest weed.
• 0:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's called Charlie Sheen.
• 0:42
  SPEAKER_00: I was fucked up.
• 0:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm telling you, I was like, I just want to get as high as possible.
• 0:47
  SPEAKER_00: So when I'm out here on this swamp, I can hear the alligators talking to me and shit.
• 0:52
  SPEAKER_00: The birds gonna be singing, the raccoons gonna wave at me.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna feel like I'm in a Disney movie.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be beautiful.
• 0:58
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_00: And then at about 12:45, I get a phone call from Jada, and she's like, Hey Tiff, um, you still going on that swamp tour?
• 1:07
  SPEAKER_00: I said, Yeah, girl.
• 1:08
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'm going.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: She said, uh, well, uh, what time you leaving?
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I said, I'm gonna leave probably about 1:30 or whatever.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: She said, Well, me and Will are gonna go with you.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, What?
• 1:17
  SPEAKER_00: For real?
• 1:18
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Yeah.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, okay, cool.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: Well, look, since y'all got dinner last night, don't even trip.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna get your broupon.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: It's never nothing.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: You know, y'all looked out with dinner, I got your broupon.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, Well, okay, whatever.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: And she was like, meet us at the hotel.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, no problem.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: So then I get myself together, right?
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Try to sober up, do some jumping jacks, and drink water.
• 1:45
  SPEAKER_00: All right, I could drive.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: And I jump in my little$20 a day rental car, right?
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And I drive over to their hotel, and I'm thinking I'm just gonna give my keys to the valet and jump in their SUV with them and they security and shit, and be doing it big time, right?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: So when I pull up, I'm like trying to hand the keys to the valet, but Will Smith come running out the hotel like he and Bad Boy Seven is sliding the backseat of my rental.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, what the fuck?
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And he's like, Man, it's been years since I've been in a regular car.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: This is pretty cool.
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_00: And Jada gets in, she's like, oh my god, it's no tinted windows.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is dangerous.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if I feel comfortable with this.
• 2:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, damn, Jada, you from Baltimore for real.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: So we go, I'm like, we take off, right?
• 2:36
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm driving, and in my mind, I'm doing like this.
• 2:39
  SPEAKER_00: I'm just leaning back and I'm rolling.
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I'm thinking is happening in my mind.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: The next day, Jada said I was all on the wheel like this.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, of course I was on the wheel like this, Jada, because all I'm thinking to myself is, oh, Tiffany, be as safe as possible.
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: You don't want to be the bitch on TMZ that killed the fresh principal.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And every time I'm looking up in a rear view, I just see Will Smith like, and I'm like, it's$280 million in the backseat of my$20 a day rental.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_00: What the fuck?
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: My life is fucking amazing.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: And then I pull up to the pull up to the swamp tour, right?
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_00: I pull up and it's like a hundred, it's like a hundred white people out there, and it's only one boat.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Pull up, it's only one boat, a hundred white people.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: And Jada's like, um, Tiffany, what the fuck is this?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I said, what, Jada's Acasia Swamp too?
• 3:42
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, why is there so many people out here?
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I said, girl, it's a groupon.
• 3:46
  SPEAKER_00: They probably got groupons.
• 3:52
  SPEAKER_00: Tiffany, what the fuck is a group on?
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Jada, you don't know what a groupon is?
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: What do you think a groupon is, Jada?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: I thought it meant you had your own boat that you could take a group of people on, Tiffany.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Jada, Jada, why would I have my own boat, Jada?
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_00: I got a Martin Luther King bag.
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: I just booked this movie called Girl Trip, starring Regina Hall, Queen Latifa, and Jada Pinkett Smith and myself.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 4:32
  SPEAKER_00: And this had to be the most amazing moment of my life.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: It's like the most amazing moment so far to be able to work with these women who I watched, who I admired.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: And like, dang, I had put Jada's name on that list, and then boom, there she was, and I'm working with her.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: And I'll never forget this one day.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: We were standing outside the trailers.
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_00: We was in New Orleans shooting this movie, and it was like 90 degrees at 7 a.m.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_00: Hottest fucking New Orleans.
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think that's where the devil landed when he got kicked out of heaven.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: Pretty sure that's where he landed.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_00: And we were standing out there talking, and I was I had my little purse on my shoulder.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Now, um, this purse, it looked like a Michael Kortz purse, but I had got it from the Slauson, so you know it ain't no real Michael Kors purse.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm a firm believer in never having a bag that you can like.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like any bag that you have as a woman, you should be able to keep that amount of money.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Like however much the bag is worth, that's how much money you should be able to keep in that bag at all times.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a firm believer in that.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: So I have my little$35 Michael Kors bag, because I could keep$35 in it at all times.
• 5:34
  SPEAKER_00: Right?
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm standing there with my bag and it had MKs all over and it just a little bit of L in the middle, so you couldn't tell.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: It was a knockoff, but you couldn't see it.
• 5:42
  SPEAKER_00: Like you had to look to see.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: You had to look, look, look.
• 5:52
  SPEAKER_00: I had a bag on, we talking and stuff, we laughing, I lean back, laugh, ha ha ha ha.
• 5:56
  SPEAKER_00: And the little lock on the bag, little Michael Corslock just melted off and hit the ground, was like think, think, think, think, think, think.
• 6:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I was looking at it, hit the like boom, boom, boom.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then Jada and Queen Lati was like, what the fuck?
• 6:11
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like.
• 6:23
  SPEAKER_00: And Jada goes, um, Tiffany, what kind of bag is that?
• 6:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, this girl, this is a Martin Luther King bag.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_00: Free at last, free at last.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: We breaking the chains in this thing, girl.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: That's what this bag is.
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Tiffany, you cannot be walking around here with knockoff bags anymore.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: You have to wear designer stuff.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: You, when this movie comes out, you're gonna be considered an A-list actress, and you cannot be walking around here with fake shit.
• 6:57
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, Well, until I can afford the real shit, I'm gonna be rocking the fake shit.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And I have no problem with that, Jada.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, Well, you should, you need to know who the designers are.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Who are your favorite designers?
• 7:09
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, who's ever in a slossing?
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, no, Tiffany, no.
• 7:17
  SPEAKER_00: No, look, Tiff, look, this is what I'm gonna do for you, Tiffany.
• 7:21
  SPEAKER_00: Look, I got a private jet.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm flying to LA this weekend.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: You should fly with me.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, what?
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: On a private jet?
• 7:26
  SPEAKER_00: You want me to get with you on a private jet?
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: This is crazy.
• 7:28
  SPEAKER_00: Oh my god, who else is going?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, it's gonna be me, Queen, Regina probably a go.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, and is that it?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Yeah, that's pretty much it.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, mm, I'm sorry, I can't take that flight.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, What?
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Why?
• 7:41
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, Aliyah, never forget.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, What?
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, I seen La Bamba, bitch.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: I know what they do.
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Soon as you get like right up in here, they take your motherfucking ass out.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: I'm not going.
• 7:53
  SPEAKER_00: She was like, Are you crazy?
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, bitch, I might be.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I'm so particular about who I date.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I don't want to just date anybody.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_00: I can't just date anybody.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: I want to date dudes that have an inheritance.
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's important.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: I really do think that's very important because that means you got people that love and care about you.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody cares so much about you, they set it up so that you can have something when they go.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_00: When they go down, you go up.
• 8:20
  SPEAKER_00: I'm with that.
• 8:22
  SPEAKER_00: I'm with that.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: I like that shit.
• 8:24
  SPEAKER_00: And it's just, I feel like your values are different when you know that you got something coming to you.
• 8:28
  SPEAKER_00: Once you're painting, like, yeah, I just feel like that's better.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: And I want that.
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I believe the saying.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: They say, white man die, he leaves a will.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: Black man die, he leaves a bill.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that shit is so true.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: I hate to say it out loud, but I think it's true.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: I had an uncle pass away not too long ago in his late 80s.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: You would think after being on this planet for 80-something years, you would have left something, a piece of land, a few hundred thousand dollars in a bank account, something.
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_00: This motherfucker didn't leave us nothing but newspapers and a cast iron skillet from slavery.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_00: And we know that it was from slavery because we took it to the antique road show and made some money off of that shit.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: So that's cool.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_00: It was messed up though, because I don't know if you know this about black people, but when somebody passes away in the family and there's no money to bury them, they do fundraisers.
• 9:20
  SPEAKER_00: Fundraisers, good lord.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_00: They'll do fish dinners or chicken fries or they'll try to throw like a little get together or something, get everybody to donate, get the church to donate, they'll do car washes, and that's the worst when you see your auntie Gladys out there washing cars, and you know this bitch is too fat to wear a two-piece.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: I just can see it, it looks horrible.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: And it's so crazy.
• 9:44
  SPEAKER_00: Cause they raised up enough money to get the casket, to get his suit, to have the ceremony and everything, but they didn't have enough money to buy the land to bury him.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't have enough money to put him in the ground.
• 9:55
  SPEAKER_00: So they come to me because they like, oh Tiff, you've been on a few shows, you know, you got some money.
• 9:59
  SPEAKER_00: Can you, you know, go listen, you need we need you to bury Uncle.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm like, um, he never really did much for me in life.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know why y'all would even come at me like that.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, he let me go to the foster home and everything.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, like, what the fuck?
• 10:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like, why would I?
• 10:14
  SPEAKER_00: That don't make no sense.
• 10:15
  SPEAKER_00: Like, we used to get sandwiches and stuff at Subway together, and he made me pay for them.
• 10:18
  SPEAKER_00: So I really feel like I did my part.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can we just can we just cremate them?
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: Let's just cremate them and put them in a sandwich bag.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: He loves sandwiches.
• 10:30
  SPEAKER_00: Put some tomatoes in there, a little turkey meat.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: He loved that shit.
• 10:33
  SPEAKER_00: Like, let's just do that.
• 10:35
  SPEAKER_00: You can't do that.
• 10:36
  SPEAKER_00: That's sacrilegious.
• 10:37
  SPEAKER_00: Don't do that.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta put them in the ground.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta put them in the ground.
• 10:40
  SPEAKER_00: They they bullied me and they pressured me, and then finally I was just like, fuck it.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: I did it.
• 10:44
  SPEAKER_00: And it was my whole savings.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: My whole fucking savings.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you want to bury somebody in LA, be ready, bitch, because that's a down payment on a house.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: It is no joke buying that little piece of gray.
• 10:54
  SPEAKER_00: And I was like, oh my God, my first piece of land.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm a landowner now.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: But it got a dead body in it, though.
• 11:03
  SPEAKER_00: Can't build no house on that.
• 11:04
  SPEAKER_00: That should'll be like that.
• 11:05
  SPEAKER_00: What's it pull to go?
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: I grew up in foster care.
• 11:09
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody else grew up in the system?
• 11:11
  SPEAKER_00: Make some noise if you was in the system.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm the only special motherfucker here, huh?
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: It's cool, it's cool.
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_00: I was state property.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: I'm valuable.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: I am valuable.
• 11:23
  SPEAKER_00: All the rest of y'all, y'all mamas and daddies had to love you.
• 11:26
  SPEAKER_00: They didn't get paid or nothing, okay?
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: Anybody house that I walked into from the time I was 11 till I was grown, they got paid off of me, bitch.
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_00: I come with a check.
• 11:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm valuable.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, I want to say thank you to anyone who paid taxes between 1990 and 1999.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: Thank you so much.
• 11:49
  SPEAKER_00: Because without your tax dollars, I wouldn't be standing here right now today.
• 11:53
  SPEAKER_00: You know, the state of California pays so much money to make sure I don't die because they knew I was gonna be special.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_00: They knew.
• 12:02
  SPEAKER_00: They knew I was like, oh, this one right here, this one right here, she's gonna be a unicorn, and they was right.
• 12:10
  SPEAKER_00: I'm the last black unicorn, bitch.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: Feel valuable.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: I remember when I first went into foster care, I hated it.
• 12:33
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't like it.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: It was messed up.
• 12:35
  SPEAKER_00: I didn't want to be a part of it.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_00: I fucking hated it.
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: Because kids used to make fun of me.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: It was, ooh, this one bitch named Kyosha.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: Ooh, I hate this bitch to this day.
• 12:43
  SPEAKER_00: I can't stand that bitch.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_00: Saw her ass a couple of years ago.
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_00: She was working in a Walmart as a greeter.
• 12:49
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, ha ha.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: That's what happens to bullies, bitch.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: She had a dead leg and shit.
• 12:57
  SPEAKER_00: I was like, ha ha, limbs die to bullies.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: All bullies' limbs die.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_00: Ha ha.
• 13:04
  SPEAKER_00: That's what your ass get.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_00: Should have been a motherfucking pirate on the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland, bitch.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, raggedy ass bitch.
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_00: Oh, yo-ho, yo-ho ass bitch.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: Hated her.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_00: I hated her because she wouldn't let me be like, I don't know about y'all, but my favorite game in school was tetherball.
• 13:27
  SPEAKER_00: That was my favorite fucking game.
• 13:32
  SPEAKER_00: I think tetherball is the best way to get out anger, get out frustration, especially as a child, you just release all that tension.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_00: You get to hit that.
• 13:39
  SPEAKER_00: It's that yellow ball right there, attached to that rope, wrapping around that pole.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: You just, ah.
• 13:48
  SPEAKER_00: And you see it wrap around, you like, yeah, I'm winning.
• 13:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sometimes you play your enemy and hit them dead in the face, they nose bleed.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: You're like, yes, I fucking run the playground.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_00: I am the king.
• 14:01
  SPEAKER_00: Game of throne style, bitch.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I felt like.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_00: Felt powerful.
• 14:08
  SPEAKER_00: This bitch Kiosha.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_00: She found out I was in the system.
• 14:13
  SPEAKER_00: She didn't want to let me play.
• 14:15
  SPEAKER_00: Coming up to play, tetherboss.
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: She's like, uh Tiffany, only people with mamas and daddies can play.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: Bitch, we don't even know if that's your real daddy.
• 14:24
  SPEAKER_00: How you gonna do me?
• 14:27
  SPEAKER_00: Just because you're 15 in the sixth grade, don't mean you get to run the playground, Kiosha.