Latest / 12 Minutes of Nonsense / I went and saw the gorillaz!

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I went and saw the gorillaz! · 12 Minutes of Nonsense

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: What is up, y'all?
• 0:02
  SPEAKER_00: We are back once again for 12 minutes of nonsense.
• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your nonsensical host, Nathan Heard, and uh we just talking about nonsense, man.
• 0:12
  SPEAKER_00: I ain't been here in a couple days.
• 0:14
  SPEAKER_00: Um And I apologize for that.
• 0:17
  SPEAKER_00: I I know I always apologize for that, but I apologize for that.
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_00: So what's been going on?
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Um, I went, me and Izzy went and saw the gorillas in concert, and it was fantastic.
• 0:32
  SPEAKER_00: I've been wanting to see the gorillas in concert forever.
• 0:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 0:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like since since the first time I was like it was early 2000s, and I went over to this random house to get some weed, and I walked in the house, everything was in black light.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: There was a motherfucker doing whippets in the corner.
• 0:57
  SPEAKER_00: There was definitely some cats on some mushrooms, and probably a couple guns.
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody was high as fuck.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: Sat down on the couch, the blunt came to me.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_00: I hit that bitch.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I looked at the TV, and MTV was playing Clint Eastwood, and I didn't know what the fuck was going on.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: It was just like it was I was in the perfect situation to watch this music video.
• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: And I remember like being like, what the fuck is this?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And the room got silent.
• 1:33
  SPEAKER_00: Which was crazy.
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_00: There's like 10, 12 people in this room.
• 1:38
  SPEAKER_00: The room went silent.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Everybody in the room is just mesmerized by what's going on on the TV.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: I ain't happy.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: I'm feeling sad.
• 1:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and everybody is just mesmerized by this shit.
• 1:53
  SPEAKER_00: The song finally ends, and this dude goes, bruh, I just wanted everybody to see that shit.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: That shit is crazy, right?
• 2:00
  SPEAKER_00: And we're all like, what the fuck did we just watch?
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then uh, you know, because back in the night, like back in the early 2000s, they they weren't um, they weren't like they were they weren't big, but it was also that they didn't show their faces, so you didn't know who they were, and all you got were these cartoons, and you were just like, what the fuck?
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: So it was uh that was my uh that was my introduction to the gorillas, and then this last weekend uh me and Izzy got to go see them, and I got to take Iz to her first uh concert.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: I mean not her first concert, her second concert, but her first concert where like it's loud and it's people are singing along and stuff like that.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: And so um I think she had a really good time.
• 2:44
  SPEAKER_00: I had a fucking blast.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: I got a shirt.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: We dressed up.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: I dressed like Russell, you know what I'm saying?
• 2:53
  SPEAKER_00: And uh, and it was it was it was it was dope.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: It was really dope, man.
• 2:59
  SPEAKER_00: The he he he does some man, that dude can play like seven different instruments, man.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: That shit is crazy.
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_00: But excuse me, but uh, you know, that was uh that was definitely a con.
• 3:12
  SPEAKER_00: And after that, I just kept looking up other concerts that I wanted to go to, and I I I haven't been able to find any that I really want to go to.
• 3:18
  SPEAKER_00: Kendrick's not really touring, Lincoln Park's not touring, um at least not close to me, Green Day's not close to me, Blink's not close to me, Futuristic, you know, J.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: Cole, you know what I mean?
• 3:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, ain't nobody close to me.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: Chief Keefe over this motherfucker though.
• 3:35
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I want to see no damn Chief Keefe.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: What's wrong with you?
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: Damn it.
• 3:41
  SPEAKER_00: Um, but yeah, so that's that's what we did last weekend, and uh, and it was dope.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: It was a lot of fun.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: And I had my binoculars.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: And I had, and I paid for an$8 bottle of water, which actually isn't that bad if you go if you're going to enough concerts.
• 4:00
  SPEAKER_00: Um, other than that, man, you know what I'm saying?
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: I've just been out here, I've been out here chilling, man, being being depressed and shit.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, because I can't get no damn comedy shows.
• 4:12
  SPEAKER_00: I motherfuckers don't want to hit me back, man.
• 4:14
  SPEAKER_00: I've been hitting up these clubs, they don't want to hit me back.
• 4:17
  SPEAKER_00: Do they not like albinos?
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: Is that is that what we're doing?
• 4:20
  SPEAKER_00: We don't we don't fuck with the albinos?
• 4:24
  SPEAKER_00: That's messed up, man.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_00: That's messed up, it's not right.
• 4:28
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know if that's actually what's happening.
• 4:30
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, I mean, I'm sure it's happening a little bit, but at you know, same time, I don't know.
• 4:34
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know what else is happening.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm funny as fuck, personally.
• 4:36
  SPEAKER_00: I think I'm funny in the motherfucker.
• 4:39
  SPEAKER_00: Um I don't think that there's anybody that I can't hang with on stage.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Unfortunately, I haven't had the opportunities.
• 4:47
  SPEAKER_00: Um, and some of those is because of me, and some of those because of other motherfuckers, but uh, which is which is inconsequential because I don't know fucking, you know what I mean?
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: Like I don't know this from that over there.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: I did, however, get offered to be in a movie, star in a movie, independent film, next year, and I took it.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm not gonna tell y'all too much about it right now, but I think I can I think I can knock this motherfucker out the park.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: I think I can, I think I can really hit this bitch.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: Hit it with, you know what I'm saying?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Like get in where I fit in in these streets, and that's gonna be uh that's gonna be that's gonna be dope.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be dope.
• 5:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think I can I think I can do it.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: Um yeah, man, I think I can do it.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: So that's something that I'm really looking forward to.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I've been watching a lot of movies and you know, trying to like you know get my get my acting chops back up, you know, seeing how my favorite actors be doing it and shit.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: I've just found out today that Patrick Stewart died.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck, man.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: That was one of my dudes.
• 5:51
  SPEAKER_00: I love Patrick Stewart, man.
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_00: I started, I like he got me into Star Trek Next Generation and shit.
• 5:57
  SPEAKER_00: And he was the first person.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: I'm like, Professor X, you know what I'm saying?
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_00: Like, I saw him do Macbeth.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: Man, if y'all ain't seen that shit, go watch that shit, man.
• 6:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't even care if you don't like Shakespeare, man.
• 6:08
  SPEAKER_00: Go watch that shit.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: Patrick Stewart doing Macbeth is dope as fuck.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: And then also, what you should watch is uh a movie called Rosencrantz and Gildenstern Are Dead.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's a it's a comedy.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: It's got um who's it, uh Tim Roth and Gary Ollman.
• 6:27
  SPEAKER_00: And it's it's a Shakespeare comedy.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: It's about two of Hamlet's friends.
• 6:31
  SPEAKER_00: But here's the thing I'm not a huge Shakespeare person, and the shit was still really, really funny to me.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: So if you just watch the movie, those two are such good actors that you cannot really understand a whole lot about Shakespeare and still really have a good time watching that motherfucking movie, in my opinion.
• 6:49
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I think you should do.
• 6:51
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 6:53
  SPEAKER_00: That's what I think you should do.
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_00: Uh there was a somebody said online, what animal would, if it was the size of a horse, would be the biggest problem.
• 7:06
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that it like, you know, if and first off, I was thinking, like, you know, a lot of a lot of insects and stuff like that, mosquitoes, you know, consider they they they suck blood, one poke, and you pretty much, you know, gulp, gulp, like two a horse-sized mosquito, two gulps and you pretty much dead, right?
• 7:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like if they hit you with the thing, which is a spear now, that's gonna kill you.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_00: And if that doesn't kill you, then two gulps and you dead.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_00: Gulp, gulp, and you gone.
• 7:35
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_00: Like, so mosquitoes, mosquitoes terrible.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_00: Um I know some people were like snake, but at the same time, I don't think that that would be a big problem because there would be no way for that thing to hide.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 7:50
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and so we just gonna bomb that motherfucker, but mosquitoes can fly and shit.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: And then ants.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: Ants are too intelligent, there's too many of them motherfuckers, and and and and they're too strong relative to their body weight, so I think that ants will be a problem too.
• 8:07
  SPEAKER_00: I think most insects, if they were the size of a horse, will be a problem.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_00: But I'm I I think that we should cut we should narrow it to just mammals.
• 8:16
  SPEAKER_00: Because like, again, even reptiles, like you know what I mean?
• 8:19
  SPEAKER_00: Like, if an like, first of all, objectively, a motherfucking uh like a gator is the size of a horse.
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: Like, it's not it's on the ground, but like I don't know what we would, you know, how would that like how would we we decide the bigness of it?
• 8:34
  SPEAKER_00: Because some of them weigh more than horses, like same with crocodiles.
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_00: So I think we should keep it to mammals.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: And if a mammal and if the question is what mammal would be the most dangerous if it was the size of a horse, I think it's gotta be the honey badger.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: Because the honey badger at its current size will run a fade with lion with a pack of lions, with a with a pack of them.
• 9:04
  SPEAKER_00: A pack of them.
• 9:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now imagine that that bitch is the size of a horse.
• 9:13
  SPEAKER_00: Who's who what animal is winning against that?
• 9:18
  SPEAKER_00: This is an animal that has the mentality to go up against any animal in the animal kingdom at its current size.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then you make it the size of a horse.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: Like I I can't think of any animal other than that that's that's that's really gonna be a problem.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: Cause I mean that's that's like it's that's the animal that it's it just gonna because already honey bangers just go where the fuck they wanna go.
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 9:48
  SPEAKER_00: So if it's the size of a horse, ain't no other animal fucking with it.
• 9:53
  SPEAKER_00: Bears ain't fucking with it.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: Obviously, tigers and lions ain't gonna fuck with it.
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: At that size, I don't even think an elephant's really gonna fuck with it.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: So oh shit, I just thought of something, y'all.
• 10:11
  SPEAKER_00: I just thought of something that might give the honey badger a run for its money, and that's the goose.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: The cobra chicken.
• 10:21
  SPEAKER_00: Because cobra chickens run fades with people.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: You see what I'm saying?
• 10:26
  SPEAKER_00: Like, honey badgers run shits with lions and and and shit that around them, but people don't really come into contact with them that often.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: Motherfuckers be seeing geese, and geese will run up on you and stomp you out.
• 10:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now, if a goose was the size of a fucking horse, imagine that bitch just you just minding your business and that flying asshole just comes honking at you.
• 10:53
  SPEAKER_00: And if they big as a horse, that honk gonna be deep.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be a deep honk.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: It's not gonna be like it's gonna be, it's gonna be like one of them cartoon uh bawooga horns, like baooga, it's gonna be one of them.
• 11:07
  SPEAKER_00: It's gonna be a deep, a deep treble honk.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm talking about?
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and the and the and and the fact that it's flunt, man, it's gonna honestly the a goose the size of a horse might as well be a motherfucking dragon.
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_00: Like on uh like on on on the reel.
• 11:25
  SPEAKER_00: It just might as well just be a goddamn dragon.
• 11:28
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, at this point, you was it use a non-fire-breathing dragon with that that wants constant smoke, you know what I'm talking about?
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like that just constant smoke.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: Nah, man.
• 11:41
  SPEAKER_00: Nah, I don't think I think that goose might actually be worse than honey badger.
• 11:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I think that those two, if they was the size of a horse, yeah.
• 11:52
  SPEAKER_00: I I I think that those two, yeah, man.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe, maybe, hold up, maybe, maybe a hyena because they they roam in packs, and a pack of horse-sized hyenas is motherfucking terrifying.
• 12:12
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like a like a straight pack of horse-sized hyenas is terrifying, especially if they if you run up on them, you're not getting away.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: And they already got like one of the strongest bites and shit.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: Mm-mm.
• 12:28
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: No, no, thank you.
• 12:32
  SPEAKER_00: No, thank you.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_00: So I think that those would be that those are gonna, I'm gonna go with those are gonna be my three.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: I still think that I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna put, I'm gonna put I'm gonna put uh what's what's his name?
• 12:52
  SPEAKER_00: What's it the uh uh fucking what's the goddamn thing name?
• 12:58
  SPEAKER_00: Hyena.
• 12:59
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna put hyena at three.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna put honey badger at two, and then put goose at number one.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's gonna be that's gonna be the list.
• 13:19
  SPEAKER_00: And I think that that is just that I mean that.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I think that that's it.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_00: I think I mean like there's some other animals that might cause problems, like I mean, like obviously a cat the size of a horse, but that's almost kind of just a tiger, or like a like a saber-tooth tiger, you know what I mean?
• 13:37
  SPEAKER_00: Like, and then like people like rats, but rats are rats are fairly friendly and very trainable.
• 13:47
  SPEAKER_00: But I I think that yeah, those three animals.
• 13:53
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
• 13:56
  SPEAKER_00: You know what though?
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_00: You know what?
• 13:58
  SPEAKER_00: If we're not talking about really like a problem to humans or like a problem like as far as like danger to humans, you know, honestly, a beaver, you know, think about it.
• 14:10
  SPEAKER_00: A beaver the size of a horse, because beavers have to eat wood constantly, and they can already take down some pretty big ass trees and do some catastrophic damage to the infrastructure as is.
• 14:26
  SPEAKER_00: Imagine a motherfucking beaver the size of a horse.
• 14:30
  SPEAKER_00: That tail could do some smacking.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: That tail could do some smacking.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_00: They just chop down your house because it's in the way.
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: That'll be fucked up.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_00: You go to work, you come home from work, house your house, half your house gone, and it's just stuffed in the in the in the nearby river.
• 14:49
  SPEAKER_00: And you can't do shit.
• 14:52
  SPEAKER_00: You can't do nothing, just half your house is just gone.
• 14:55
  SPEAKER_00: You come home and like, where the fuck my garage at?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, beavers took that shit, dawg.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: You ain't stopping or nothing.
• 15:03
  SPEAKER_00: Fuck I'ma do, dawg.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_00: Beaver wanna take your shit, beaver gonna take your shit.
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: And you just, you just you just out, you just got done up by a beaver.
• 15:14
  SPEAKER_00: Motherfuckers gotta have beaver insurance and shit.
• 15:17
  SPEAKER_00: I think that's hilarious.
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_00: That's what we should do.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: We should make beavers the size a motherfucking, who, a pigeon?
• 15:29
  SPEAKER_00: A pigeon the size of a horse, you're not gonna you're not gonna not give your fry to a pigeon size of a horse.
• 15:34
  SPEAKER_00: That bitch land on your motherfucking pick a nicker table.
• 15:37
  SPEAKER_00: It's just gonna bust your whole shit.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: Whole damn table just f just placow, just busted.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: That motherfucker just gonna look at you.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: You better give that motherfucker your fry.
• 15:52
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, man.
• 15:54
  SPEAKER_00: I think that that's my that's my list.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: So the outliers are definitely so is it's it's hyenas, then it's honey badgers, and then it's goosises, and then the outliers, I think, is gonna be pigeons.
• 16:07
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I mean?
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_00: Like that and and beavers, pigeons and beavers is on the outliers.
• 16:12
  SPEAKER_00: Because I think they cause problems, but I don't think they would really attack us like that.
• 16:16
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 16:17
  SPEAKER_00: So uh, so yeah.
• 16:20
  SPEAKER_00: And that's that's about enough nonsense for me today.
• 16:24
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Please go watch all my shit.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: You know what I'm saying?
• 16:30
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be in Pittsburgh in January, and y'all should come out to the show.
• 16:35
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm gonna be in uh the ice house next month.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be in Pasadena next month, and I'm gonna be in LA next month.
• 16:42
  SPEAKER_00: So come holler at your boy.
• 16:45
  SPEAKER_00: Alright?
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: Alright.
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_00: If you love him, hug him for six seconds or more, and high five everybody.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_00: I'll holler at y'all later.
• 16:52
  SPEAKER_00: 12 minutes of nonsense.
• 16:55
  SPEAKER_00: And I'm out.