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How to Build Confidence and Leadership in Young Girls · Loud & Lifted

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Welcome to Loud and Lifted. Today's conversation
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gets right into the root of so much of what we
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talk about here. We spend a lot of time talking
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about confidence, leadership, community, and
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finding our voice as women. But the truth is
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those struggles usually do not begin when we
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are adults sitting in meetings or trying to navigate
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our careers. They start much earlier. They start
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when we're young girls learning whether our voice
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matters, whether we belong, whether we should
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speak up. and whether we are allowed to take
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up space. This is why this conversation matters
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so much. Today, we are joined by Cherise Johnson,
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a youth empowerment leader, mentor, and education
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administrator at the Milton Hershey School, where
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she has spent years helping students build confidence,
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leadership skills, and a stronger sense of voice.
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She's also the founder of the Girls' Grace Empowerment
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Conference, and her life's work is centered around
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creating spaces where girls feel seen, supported,
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and stretched into who they can become. This
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episode is not just about mentoring girls. It's
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about catching confidence early. It's about helping
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the next generation build the muscle of using
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their voice before self -doubt gets too loud.
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And it's about reminding all of us that if we
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want stronger women leaders tomorrow, we have
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to start pouring into girls today. Cherise, welcome
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to Loud and Lifted. Thank you so much for being
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here. I'm so excited to be here with you today,
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Betsy, just to have the opportunity to share.
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Yes. Well, I'm very excited because, you know,
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on this podcast, we talk a lot about the importance
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of community and support. We talk about confidence
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and how to build your confidence. But the reality
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is we've always talked about it from a, you know,
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woman, professional woman standpoint. But a lot
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of those struggles that we have with confidence
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don't start when we're 25. They start when we're
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15 or younger and you have really made it your
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life's work to help support especially young
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girls and I want to use a quote that I saw that
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you recently said empowering young people is
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where my heart is and you call it heart work.
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So let's start with that. Tell me how this has
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come to be really your mission in life. I mean,
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you know, I used to be that 15 year old girl,
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you know, that didn't really have a voice. You
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know, I got all the right grades in school. I
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did all the right things, but I was very quiet.
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You know, my peers did see me as someone who
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was confident. But internal, you can hide behind
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that smile and really have some deep feelings
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of, or lack of confidence. And so that is kind
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of where it stemmed from. Working with young
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people has definitely become just my life goal
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of to make sure that young girls are provided
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spaces to practice how to build their leadership.
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how to use their voice in the right spaces, in
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the right way, and just ultimately prepare them
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for their future. So that has just been something
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that I'm really passionate about, and I'm good
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at it too. I really channel that young 15 -year
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-old in me when I'm in spaces with the girls,
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which helps me kind of be realistic in my approach
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with working with young people. So tell us more
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about what your work and exactly how you do that.
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Currently, I am an education administrator at
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a private residential school in central Pennsylvania.
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I recently just hit 20 years with my employer.
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And it's just, it's crazy, you know, when people
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say, Sharice, how have you been there so long?
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But my upbringing was really, really tough. And
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so join in this organization, it provided foundation
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for me. It gave me purpose and it ultimately
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fueled my passion. And so when people say, you
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know, how could you stay and do this for so long?
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It became who I am. And so I get to do that for
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my job. And then I realized, you know, a few
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years ago, you know, I was that 15 year old girl
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from Harrisburg. And, you know, although I do
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a lot for the students at my job, I wanted to
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also channel my community. And so I stepped out
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of the work environment to make sure that I was
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providing opportunities and experiences for city
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girls like myself. And so that's where the community
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engagement piece came in for me. Yeah. In case
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you didn't have enough going on, then you did
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that, not only in your, quote, nine to five job,
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right? Yes. In your spare time, you're doing
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that. Yes. And you sit on board. We just read
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a Girls on the Run breakfast, actually, this
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morning. So it's like, this is your life. 24
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hours a day, which is just so amazing. And I
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think you should get all the kudos in the world
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for being able to do that and make a difference.
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So when you're working with these young ladies,
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what's your approach? And how do you instill
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that confidence and that sense of community and
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having them to have the courage? How do you approach
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that? And especially in some instances, you're
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dealing with girls who come from disadvantaged
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situations or maybe don't have that home support.
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So how are you addressing that really? My approach,
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I would say, is realizing the space that I'm
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stepping in. When I step into a space with young
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people, I want to be a role model. I want to
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be someone that's leading by example. So I always
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step into a space exuding confidence, exuding,
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you know, that I am capable and I catch their
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attention. And it's so, it's really, it happens
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right in front of me where they're like, wow.
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you know, I catch their attention with my voice
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and how I present myself and then I bring it
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down to Being real with them. And so I I adjust
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to speak their language, you know of like understanding
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where they are at their age. And so I make sure
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that I'm speaking of like, I've been there before.
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I know, you know, some of the challenges and
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I make sure that they're aware that I'm human
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and I am not someone of authority. I am someone
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of support. And so my approach with young people
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is always that confidence, standing tall and
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sharing boldly. And then I bring it down so that
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they understand that I am somebody that they
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can open up to. I love that. And so how much
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do you have to... directly talk about confidence
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or is it more showing it? How do you get into
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that with teenage girls? It is definitely all
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about show for sure. When you say the word confidence,
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sometimes teenagers can kind of just go into
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their shell of like, I don't want to go there.
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It's uncomfortable. So I just model. I model
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and I'm big on role play with my young girls,
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even my boys as well. But I think role playing
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is very important. So for instance, I do host
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several after school programs. So on social media,
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a lot of people get to see the conferences, the
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big events. But I work with young people on a
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daily basis. I'm training them on how to be leaders.
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So these are kids that are the quiet ones. These
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are kids that are not always in the front. And
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I am pulling them out of their shell and helping
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them and stretching them to use their voice in
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front of others. to do behind the scenes planning,
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you know, exploring ideas. What are the things
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that you want as a teenager? What are the things
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that you need right now? And when I take those
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ideas from them, I show them how to implement
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it into something that fuels them and their peers.
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So it's a whole production of, you know, making
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sure that they see that their voice matters.
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And so I really like to, you know, take things
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from our students, asking them questions and
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letting them know, hey, I hear you, I see you,
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and I value what you're saying. And so we're
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going to create something based off of your current
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needs. I love that. And it's funny, thanks to
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my own podcast over the last year, the conversation
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of confidence and how it's not a personality
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trait, it's a skill and you have to muscle, you
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have to build it. I have to be honest. I've never
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thought about it that way as much as I have in
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the last year. So it's interesting to me and
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I have two teen daughters, right? So confidence
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is super important for me to help build them.
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But it's having that perspective of like, okay,
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I have to practice. I have to get outside my
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comfort zone. So having these kids have the opportunity
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to be exposed to that, like again, I think I
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was only exposed to that when I was 46 years
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old, which is so great to have that. instill
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in them now that they can practice and build
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and get the confidence as they continue to step
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out to their comfort zone. So when you're dealing
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with the concept of leadership with these young
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students, how do you talk about that? How do
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you share that? Like, how do you start to build
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this concept of like, hey, they can have a voice,
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you have confidence now, this is how you have
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the opportunity to lead people or influence in
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the future or even currently. So I try to inspire
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them, you know, I tap into stories storytelling.
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When I speak to them, I share of like, you know,
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providing opportunities like, for instance, my
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after school program that's focused on character
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and leadership development. I storytell and say,
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you could be the big brothers and big sisters
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of our elementary students. So I'm storytelling
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and I'm inspiring them so that they can see themselves
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as leaders. And once they channel that and they
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can see themselves as like, I want to do that.
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I want to be a leader in front of other girls.
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I wanna be a leader in front of other boys. When
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I do that, then they stretch themselves to say,
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okay, now I have to meet you halfway, Mrs. Johnson,
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I know that you're going to stretch me. And so
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there are moments where I will have them role
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play a scenario of working with younger kids.
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For instance, we can have, think about your daughters,
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if you're taking them to an event. a community
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event, you can role play with them. You can say,
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hey, we have this event coming up. I want you
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to answer this question as if you're talking
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to a peer. So what does kindness mean to you?
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They can answer the question. And then you can
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say, all right, now answer the same question
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as if you're talking to mommy's corporate partners.
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And then the tone changes. And so they realize
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they're no longer talking to little kids, they're
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talking to adults. So now they're practicing
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how to navigate those conversations based off
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of who they're talking to. And it's stretching,
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it's exercising that muscle of just, you know,
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repetition and practicing. And so when it comes
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time to do it, your girls are ready. Right. That's
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so true. That's so true. And I think I've used
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the example before, but even when they were little,
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it was like making them order at a restaurant,
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right? When they're like four or five and it's
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just talking to adults, making eye contact. And
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it's those little things along the way that I
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think they start to build. And now they're both
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pretty outgoing. So maybe that worked. I'm sure
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you've had an amazing impact on so many students
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through the years, but is there a story or a
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person that sticks out to you that you could
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see when their eyes finally lit up and they got
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it and they were able to move forward and to
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be able to just grow? There are so many, so,
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so many. There are so many that are now adults
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doing amazing things, right? And that I get to
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see that journey. But one in particular that
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I'm thinking of who's currently a senior at my
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employer, When I met her, she was a freshman
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and I was interviewing her for an opportunity
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and she froze, like couldn't answer one question.
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And it was truly like, just answer it and you
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have this opportunity. It was like literally
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just show up and she froze. And I looked and
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I just couldn't believe it. I was like, wow,
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you know. there's something in there. You could
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tell she wanted to say something, but she didn't
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have the confidence to speak in that space. You
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could see the anxiety and stress on her. And
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so, you know, she didn't do well, but I did reach
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out to her afterwards and I said, hey, you know,
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I don't know you at all. I met you at this interview.
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However, I have this program that you can come
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and, you know, tap into your skills and learn
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some leadership, get to know some other students.
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And I said, just try it out. And so I spent about
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10 minutes with her explaining the opportunity.
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And then she came to the after school program.
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She flourished. Oh Flourish she's now a senior
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and she is speaking in front of hundreds of people
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She has now been a leader to other girls to the
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younger girls in the program as well and Inspiring
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them to step up and to use their voice and to
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you know, make space for them And so it's been
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just truly It's transformational. It really is
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to see the growth over the years. And that's
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one thing about it. With young people, it's not
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instantaneous. It's not right in that moment.
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It takes time. It takes repetition. It takes
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practice. And we have to have the patience and
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wait for that reward at the end, which is their
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growth. That's so true. And that made me just
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think too. So as adults, what are we doing wrong
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and how we're not supporting the younger generation
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and what can we do better? I would say exposing
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them to our networks, exposing them to experiences.
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So there's some research that says every 15 -year
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-old should have at least one spark. And a spark
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is something that fuels them. It's their passion.
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It brings them joy. Every 15 year old should
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have at least one spark. And so think about your
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15 year old or your girls. I have a 15 year old
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conveniently. Whether that's sports, technology,
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science, whatever it is, there's something that
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fuels her. And so allowing her to explore different
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spaces, you know, taking her to different meeting
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different people in your network who have careers
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aligned with that or hobbies aligned with that,
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exposing them to things that they love. And maybe
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they'll realize, I just like that as a hobby.
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It's not something that I would like as a career.
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But we as women have to make room for them. We
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have to provide that space for them to be exposed.
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That is so true. And it's funny, I grew up, both
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of my parents were teachers. all her friends
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were teachers, right? So that was just kind of
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this bubble I lived in was education and just
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kind of who I was exposed to. So when I went
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to college, I was like, I don't even know what
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I want to do, but I'm not going to be a teacher.
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I knew that was. So I think part of that is because
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of growing up in that, I think I had nothing
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wrong with education just wasn't my thing that
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I was going to be passionate about. But I do
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that to my girls every time, you know, friends
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or whoever, like, tell them what you do because
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we have this very diverse friend group of like,
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whether it's attorneys, hairstyles. Let's name
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your profession. I feel like we have it representative
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of just getting that exposure because you're
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so right. Like you don't know unless you have
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somebody kind of pushing you out there or asking,
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you know, what your parents' friends do or anything
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along those lines. But I do a hundred percent
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agree with getting them exposed to just different
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areas and different, whether it's professions
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or whether it's hobbies to your point is great.
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I know when my younger daughter wanted to start
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playing an instrument, I was like, I never did,
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but awesome. Let's go. Let's get out there and
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get that exposure, whether that sticks or not.
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So I think that's a huge one. Is there anything
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else like that? Yeah. I mean, as women, we have
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a network, right? And so we have to be intentional
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about that. So one of my passions is also mentorship,
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right? Mentorship is meeting regularly with a
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young person, helping them figure out their goals,
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meet their goals, et cetera. It's beyond that.
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It's more about helping them. It's more about
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changing their behavior. We want to see them
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grow through this mentorship. We don't just want
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to be in a conversation. We want to see growth.
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And so I have been telling my students most recently,
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my mentees, hey, I got to do better. I'm well
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connected. And I know you're passionate about
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real estate. I know someone in real estate. I
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need to connect you with them. And it takes intentional
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actions on our behalf to make sure that we are
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setting them up for success. And so it's one
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thing for us to just know, oh, we have the answers.
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We know, we know. We've been there. We've done
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that. But no, really being the bridge for them.
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Because sometimes we can't have all the answers
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and and and we can you know share the space with
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others I love that and you know, it's interesting
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again We talk of mentorship a lot on this program
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But it's always from like sort of peer -to -peer
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or just obviously in a professional situation
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But mentorship of that younger generation is
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so important. So if someone's listening to this
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and they're thinking, okay I have you know my
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act together fair amount professionally and I
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want to help a younger generation. How does somebody
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even go about that? What's sort of the approach?
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Do you have any advice on how to get into a mentorship
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relationship? Yes. So many of our organizations
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have focused on community service. And so we
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have organizations like Big Brothers, Big Sisters.
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We have Girls on the Run, you know, different
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organizations where you as an employee can serve
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as a volunteer for these organizations. And so
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first thing I would say is to check with your
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own organization and say, hey, are we affiliated
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with any youth serving organization? And that
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way you are tapping into the strategic partnership
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between the organizations. and if not then maybe
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you're the bridge to explore what that partnership
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could look like because we have so many young
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people today who do not have mentors and we all
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know that one person can change the trajectory
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of a young person's life and so if your organization
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is not already affiliated or attached to a youth
19:35
serving organization, you could be the bridge.
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You could explore that partnership and make sure
19:39
that they are linked to a career exposing organization.
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And so I would say that, but also look at the
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youth serving organizations like Girls on the
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Run and Big Brothers, Big Sisters. That's a great
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point. And so sometimes I think people get overwhelmed
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that they think like, oh, it's not the right
19:59
fit for me. I don't know what I could bring.
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But what do these young girls? especially, actually
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need from women in leadership? What they need
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is someone to, a common phrase I use, pour into
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them. That's what they need. So I'll give you
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this quick story. As an adult, I am very passionate
20:19
about having a mentor myself. And so I had this
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mentor. I asked this woman to be my mentor, someone
20:24
I was connected with. And I was so excited when
20:27
I first started my LinkedIn page. And I said,
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hey, can you? take a look at my LinkedIn page,
20:32
it's done, I'm so excited. And she looked at
20:35
it and called me and she's like, Sharice, that's
20:39
not who you are. You are so much more than that.
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And I was like, what? I was confused, I was like,
20:47
what is she talking about? And so she started
20:50
to name my strengths. She started to identify
20:55
the work that I do and how she sees me in spaces.
20:59
And it was eye opening to me of like, wow, you
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know, sometimes it takes someone else to identify
21:07
our strengths. And as adults, we can do that
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for the young girls. We can take their strengths
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and let them know hey I saw what you did there
21:20
that is leadership or you know identify hey I
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noticed how you used your voice in that space
21:27
good girl like you way to go you know we have
21:31
to pour into them and identify those traits and
21:36
those strengths that they have so they can start
21:39
to see it in themselves that is one thing that
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we can do for sure. Oh, I love that. So perfect
21:45
segue. Talk to us about Girls' Grace. Okay. Girls'
21:51
Grace, we just celebrated 10 years of the Girls'
21:54
Grace Empowerment Conference. And what it is,
21:58
it's a one -day conference, okay? When it first
22:02
started in 2016, which is pre -COVID, it was
22:07
an overnight conference. It was a Friday night.
22:11
to Saturday morning, 12 hour confidence conference.
22:16
So we had workshops all night long for girls,
22:19
no sleep. There was empowerment all night long.
22:23
Oh my gosh, 10 years ago, I don't know what I
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was like. It was honestly, what happened was
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I had an afterschool girls program. The young
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girls just kept clinging to me and I was like,
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they need a mentor. Maybe I need to start a program.
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So I started an afterschool program and I had
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that program and next thing you know, it became
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very popular. One year, I had over 40 girls join
22:50
my program and I had to split them up into two
22:53
groups and I was exhausted. It was a hard, hard
22:58
year of just trying to be present for them and
23:01
support them. And I said, hey, I can't sustain
23:04
like that. So what's an alternative? And I came
23:08
up with the conference. And so the conference
23:10
was up to 200 girls that would come and sign
23:14
up and be in the same space, a big, powerful
23:20
sisterhood of space. And what I did was I tapped
23:24
into my network. to facilitate the workshops.
23:27
So I brought in the corporate leaders to speak
23:31
on branding. I brought in entrepreneurs. And
23:34
I leaned into my network to come in, trusted
23:39
individuals to come in and lead these workshops
23:42
for the girls. And it became very successful.
23:45
And so year after year, the conference grew and
23:47
grew. And so after COVID, we changed it to a
23:51
Saturday format to where it's just a Saturday
23:54
conference, but it also allowed flexibility for
23:57
our community partners to come in and lead workshops.
24:01
And so it is really you're thinking students,
24:04
you're thinking staff, you're thinking alumni,
24:06
you're thinking community leaders. It's a space
24:09
where we're bringing all women together for a
24:13
special day of empowerment for our girls. That's
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awesome. I love that. And doing that in person,
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I think has such an impact when you're in a group.
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Like the one -on -one mentorship is awesome and
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super impactful. But I think sometimes when you
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get a bunch of young girls in a room and they
24:27
can feel that excitement and that power, that
24:29
has to be super motivating, I would think, for
24:32
them to understand that this is how you want
24:35
to feel, right? Like you want to feel built up.
24:37
So I love that. So let's talk about you. So you
24:40
have a lot. And you're a mom and you're a wife.
24:44
So how do you balance this from a time perspective?
24:49
Because again, personally and professionally,
24:51
your mission is to help empower and support the
24:55
next generation. So how are you able to do that?
24:57
And how do you say no to things? Do you say no
24:59
to anything? I absolutely do say no to some things
25:03
because I can't do it all. What I do is I make
25:06
sure that whatever I say yes to, it's aligned.
25:11
with my values and my mission, which is to make
25:15
sure that I'm providing my voice for youth, for
25:19
young people. If it's aligned with youth, if
25:22
it's aligned with community leadership and bridging
25:26
for other people, that is what I'm about. And
25:30
if it doesn't conflict with my family, because
25:32
of course my family is priority, if it doesn't
25:35
conflict with my family, it's a yes. If it does
25:39
conflict, I make sure that I provide space for
25:42
others. Hey, I can't do it, but I know someone
25:45
that can. And so I, you know, pay it forward
25:48
for someone else if I can't do that. But for
25:51
the most part, if it's aligned and I can make
25:54
that balance, you know, I have a amazing partner.
25:58
My husband, Kellen, is an avid community leader
26:01
as well. So he's in the leadership space as well.
26:04
And so he gets it and we balance together. There's
26:07
times where he needs to go. you know, do community
26:11
service. He's on boards as well. And so when
26:15
he goes, I hold it down. And then when it's my
26:18
turn, he holds it down for me. And we have that
26:20
balance because we know it pours into us. It
26:23
speaks to our heart. It's that heart work that
26:25
we love. And so we just keep that balance. How
26:29
old are your kids? I have two busy toddlers.
26:33
OK. I have a six -year -old and a four -year
26:37
-old. Okay. And so I've actually had my baby
26:40
strapped on my chest for one of my Girl's Grace
26:43
events. Like literally just gave birth and then
26:47
I'm at the conference with the baby strapped
26:49
to me. There's pictures floating around of that.
26:52
But I'm just, you know, I'm passionate and I
26:54
just love the work that I get to do. I'm so blessed.
26:57
It's amazing. And the reason why I asked how
26:59
old they were, because I was thinking I would
27:00
love to see through the years how this impacts
27:02
your kids, right? Like if you and your husband
27:04
are both in this same mindset and are just so
27:08
giving back, like how that your kids are just
27:10
going to assume everyone's like that. And I love
27:11
that, right? Like they're going to grow up just.
27:14
knowing that they're going to these events and
27:15
they're giving back and they're participating.
27:17
So we'll check in in a couple years. They're
27:19
a little young. They're a little young to catch
27:21
on to that right now. Yes. Well, you know, it's
27:23
interesting because you mentioned this a little
27:25
bit, but sometimes I hear when women don't want
27:28
to get involved in an event or a nonprofit, it's
27:31
because they think they don't have time. So how
27:34
do you position that? And you touched on this
27:36
a little bit of like how it's important to make
27:38
time and just a priority standpoint. Yes, I mean
27:42
you make time for the things that you want to
27:45
do right and so if it's something that you truly
27:48
care about You you block your calendar and you
27:51
show up and that that's the hardest part is showing
27:54
up, you know It's something it's not just adults
27:56
that experience that it's the kids too. They
27:58
don't want to do it They don't want to do it.
28:00
But once we show up, we're like, wow, I'm glad
28:02
I came, you know, so getting you know to show
28:06
up is the hardest part, but we have to be, you
28:09
know, prioritize the things that bring us joy,
28:12
our sparks, you know, block out the calendar
28:14
and make the time and do it and show up. And
28:17
then, you know, it feeds your soul, it feeds
28:19
your heart. And then you're like, yeah, I'm glad
28:21
I did that. And then you get to share it with
28:23
other people. And so that's the joy of giving
28:27
back and showing up for the things that we love.
28:30
Oh, that's so true. And sometimes when it's something
28:33
on the calendar, you think like, I don't have
28:35
time for this. And it's like, I don't know, going
28:37
to the gym or something where sometimes you don't
28:39
want to go and do it because it's time and you're
28:41
focused on something else or, oh, my schedule
28:43
is so busy. But then you go and do it and you
28:45
do. Your heart feels so full and you're so glad
28:48
you don't. You're like, OK, next time, I'm not
28:49
even going to flinch when that's on my calendar.
28:52
But it's just putting on your calendar, making
28:53
part of your routine. And I love that you hit
28:56
some of the organizations that I think are amazing.
28:57
And there's others too. there's enough of organizations
29:01
around that there's the opportunity to find those
29:03
relationships. And what about if listeners probably
29:07
have, whether they have children or they're an
29:10
aunt or just neighbors, how as just in the community,
29:14
how do we support the younger generation? How
29:18
do we support them in the community? I mean,
29:21
well, first thing I say when I think of mentorship,
29:24
I show up for young people all the time, right?
29:27
I said to myself, oh, wait, I have nieces and
29:31
nephews, you know, that I need to show up for.
29:35
And so what I've started doing was I started
29:38
to bring them along to some of the things that
29:42
I'm doing in a community. Like my niece now.
29:46
comes regularly to my girls conference that I
29:49
have in Harrisburg and so making sure that our
29:52
family is supported as well should be a priority
29:56
because if we're not mentoring them someone else
29:59
is going to develop that relationship with them
30:02
and mentor your niece when you could do that
30:05
and you could also expose them to some of the
30:08
things that you love and enjoy as well so as
30:11
as an adult you know, checking with your family
30:14
first, you know, make sure that you're showing
30:16
up for your nieces and nephews and your children
30:18
as you should. And then, you know, take them
30:22
along to some of the things, get them exposed
30:24
to what it's like to give back and be of service
30:27
to others and, you know, do it together. And
30:30
then you create that, you know, intrinsic motivation
30:33
together and it creates a bond, it creates trust,
30:36
it creates reliability, it creates support. And
30:40
our young people, whether they're our family
30:42
or not, they need to see us in those spaces.
30:46
So taking them along is definitely important.
30:48
Oh, that's such great advice. kids in our life,
30:53
right? Whether they're your kids or their friends
30:55
or answered, whoever. So it's just paying attention
30:58
to them around you. And sometimes there's people
31:01
in your circle that are looking for even just
31:03
more of a conversation. And I think of that with
31:05
my daughter's friends, right? Like there's a
31:08
few that I'm like, I know they need a little
31:09
bit more time and attention, even when they're
31:11
just at my house that like asking questions,
31:13
talking about their future, just sort of trying
31:15
to facilitate some type of relationship that
31:17
I know that it they'll feel comfortable if they
31:20
want to reach out, they want to do more. So yeah,
31:22
it's just being intentional. We all have people
31:25
in our lives that need a little bit more time
31:27
and attention and looking for those, I think,
31:29
signs can go a long way. So I love that so much.
31:33
Well, Sharice. You are literally living a loud
31:36
and lifted life for our future generation. I
31:39
love it so much and I love the hard work that
31:41
you do. So thank you for all that you're doing
31:43
that you continue to do to influence the next
31:45
generation. Hopefully this will help facilitate
31:48
some thoughts for our listeners. That's how they
31:50
can get involved and also help. But thank you
31:52
for all that you do and thank you for being on
31:54
Loud and Lifted. Thank you so much for having
31:57
me. What I loved about this conversation with
32:00
Sharice is that it's such a powerful reminder
32:02
that confidence does not just appear later in
32:05
life It gets built little by little through someone
32:08
noticing potential through someone making an
32:10
introduction Through someone creating space through
32:14
someone saying I see you keep going and that
32:17
is really the invitation in this episode Not
32:20
just to admire the next generation from a distance,
32:23
but to show up for them and to encourage them
32:26
Until next time, stay loud and stay lifted.