Latest / Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr. / Raheem DeVaughn on Losing His Father, Therapy, Silent Pain & Why Men Cry in Silence

Transcript

Raheem DeVaughn on Losing His Father, Therapy, Silent Pain & Why Men Cry in Silence · Love You Moore with Willie Moore Jr.

0:00
[SPEAKER_05]: I ain't been all the way right since.
0:01
[SPEAKER_05]: You never really will be this real.
0:05
[SPEAKER_05]: You never really, it's the worst, it's the worst heartbreak you can endure.
0:10
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a different kind of heartbreak when you lose a parent.
0:13
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, I haven't, you know, got forbid.
0:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Never want to lose a child.
0:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Did you cry in silence?
0:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Because as men, we taught not to cry, you know what I mean?
0:23
[SPEAKER_05]: So for me, um,
0:26
[SPEAKER_05]: The groundbreaking moment, the breakthrough moment was, was therapy.
0:29
[SPEAKER_05]: That had never had therapy up until that point.
0:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
0:31
[SPEAKER_05]: So, you know, I was one of those people that, when those black men, when those human beings that figured, oh, maybe it's not for me.
0:41
[SPEAKER_05]: I realized that I really never had a safe place to like dump.
0:45
[SPEAKER_05]: I just recognized dump at all.
0:47
[SPEAKER_05]: It might be a lot.
0:48
[SPEAKER_05]: And it helped me navigate through it and get the homework assignments that's needed.
0:53
[SPEAKER_05]: All right.
0:54
[SPEAKER_05]: Like all that, you know, and you don't realize how valuable the homework assignments are until you take those breaks or decide, OK, maybe I'm not going to do 30 for wilder.
1:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you humble enough to say,
1:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, man.
1:09
[SPEAKER_02]: I know I'm specifically to the man.
1:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you humble enough to say, listen, I know I look like Superman to you, but I'm really Clark Kenton, and some things going on in my life.
1:19
[SPEAKER_05]: There's nothing more painful than the scoring one, man.
1:21
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
1:23
[SPEAKER_05]: But sometimes we create the pain.
1:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, as men, you know what I mean?
1:27
[SPEAKER_05]: Rightfully so knowing the whole story now.
1:29
[SPEAKER_05]: I'll phrase you to mine in, I'll phrase you to artists.
1:32
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, to not judge a book by its cover.
1:36
[SPEAKER_05]: to get everybody grace behind the people.
1:39
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, commit, write, write, random acts of kindness.
1:43
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, the person that you see in the street that we might know being young is like, you know, kids on the school yard and we open the cask, get turned his head, you know.
1:52
[SPEAKER_05]: And to the east and, uh, I didn't ever do that, you know, on a Wednesday, you know, losing them on a Wednesday and been able to accomplish all that by Friday.
2:05
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, knowing that that's what he wanted.
2:09
[SPEAKER_05]: Can nobody tell me that.
2:11
[SPEAKER_05]: Like in terms of like, there's nothing that it, there's no adversity, there's nothing that I can't endure on the planet.
2:17
[SPEAKER_05]: I think I feel like it's prepared me for whatever.
2:21
[SPEAKER_02]: Family is your nephew, Willie Mo Jr., and I'm so grateful welcome to another amazing, love-you-more show.
2:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Now, to many of you, I know I looked at my numbers and over 53% of the people who actually watched the show are not subscribed to the channel.
2:37
[SPEAKER_02]: And I don't know if that's the best way to connect with this particular show.
2:41
[SPEAKER_02]: That's the design for people who men through hurts, habits, hangups, breakups, and their journey to love in themselves.
2:47
[SPEAKER_02]: more, right?
2:48
[SPEAKER_02]: So do me a favor.
2:49
[SPEAKER_02]: Go ahead and subscribe to this channel.
2:51
[SPEAKER_02]: It's absolutely free.
2:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And finally, to all of my people across the country with all of these unique health care systems that are not really giving you the covers that you need and all of the money that you're now having to fork out, I understand.
3:06
[SPEAKER_02]: In fact, I understand so much that sometimes you're looking at your money and you're looking at it.
3:12
[SPEAKER_02]: like the medicine that you have to have.
3:14
[SPEAKER_02]: And you think to yourself, man, I'm just going to have to eat right because I can't take my medicine.
3:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And that's why I partnered with an amazing non-profit organization who will get you your medicine for little to no cause.
3:25
[SPEAKER_02]: If you have no insurance, right?
3:27
[SPEAKER_02]: If you have insurance and you just like it's causing too much, make sure that you connect with my friends at RX Outreach.
3:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm going to put that number right there.
3:35
[SPEAKER_02]: If this sounds too good to be true, if I can be honest with you, I thought the same thing.
3:40
[SPEAKER_02]: But when I did a deep dive in what they've been doing, they affected my family because my uncle was actually able to get his medicine that he has stopped taking, but little to no money, right?
3:50
[SPEAKER_02]: So make sure that you connect with my friends at RX outreach, right?
4:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey family, Willie Mojoon, you're here and welcome to another episode of The Love You More Show.
4:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Now today I get the esteemed privilege to hang out with a man that I've actually known for a very long time because of his musical talent.
4:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Everybody in the DMV when I was coming up, I'm Beyoncé with you, man.
4:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Everybody's like, man, you got to, you got to hit his dude.
4:25
[SPEAKER_02]: He was doing something that I stole from him.
4:28
[SPEAKER_02]: You will never guess what I stole from this artist and he doesn't even know.
4:33
[SPEAKER_02]: Listen, one of the most amazing artists of our time and he's still growing.
4:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Hasn't even made it to the peak of what God is gonna do with him.
4:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Don't wanna know, Lee, Rahim Devon is hanging out with us.
4:43
[SPEAKER_02]: What's going on, Chad?
4:43
[SPEAKER_02]: What's going on, Willie?
4:44
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, I ain't never had this so good.
4:46
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm starting the interview off.
4:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I got a tear you brought stole from you.
4:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And I wanna apologize for it too.
4:52
[SPEAKER_02]: 2002.
4:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm signed with Universal Republic, Universal with every lit me as an R&B artist pretty willy.
4:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I got this song called Row with me, Nelly got this song called Rye with me.
5:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Universal Harry up and kicked me off that label because I floped, right?
5:07
[SPEAKER_02]: They wrote that, you know, Universal was just throwing stuff on the wall back there, but coming on to Pernour and I come out with this song called Lady of Body Down and another song called Four Walls.
5:17
[SPEAKER_02]: This record is blowing up on this little thing called MySpace.
5:21
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm trying to get back home, that little advancement is gone.
5:24
[SPEAKER_02]: I don't bought my mom with a cat-a-luck, right?
5:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And that money's starting to go, and now the IRS coming back because I forgot to pay them taxes.
5:30
[SPEAKER_02]: You hear me?
5:31
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I go to D.C. to H.U.
5:33
[SPEAKER_02]: My home boy, Drake, he's from St. Louis, one of my Fred Brothers, shout out to Captain Alphaside.
5:37
[SPEAKER_02]: He says, um, I got to do this thing for homecoming in this big arena.
5:42
[SPEAKER_02]: The cap is bringing me out.
5:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I do love your body.
5:44
[SPEAKER_02]: That and he said, man, I want to take you to this look.
5:47
[SPEAKER_02]: Look, love.
5:48
[SPEAKER_02]: It's this dude who blew it up his name, right?
5:49
[SPEAKER_02]: He'm divine.
5:50
[SPEAKER_02]: He not performing the night, but I want to show you how he move it.
5:53
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, how he move it.
5:54
[SPEAKER_02]: And back then, I'm cocky.
5:56
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I got my jury on.
5:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm doing my thing.
5:58
[SPEAKER_02]: And I see this guy.
6:00
[SPEAKER_02]: and everybody's around them, but they're not around them just to hug him.
6:04
[SPEAKER_02]: He's selling these mix tapes.
6:07
[SPEAKER_02]: Like straight, like this him, I'm looking at you selling the mix stuff and it's like two other guys there and they're getting it out.
6:13
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like he hustling and he work it.
6:15
[SPEAKER_02]: So they give me a mix tape and it's right in the vah and it's like volume one of some Okay, the first record I hear is he doing I think is Missy Elliot get your freak on and he redoing it first time I ever seen it Never let never let me down.
6:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, that's a yeah.
6:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, something like that pussy cat
6:31
[SPEAKER_02]: So I had never heard an R&B do doing mix tapes.
6:36
[SPEAKER_02]: I take that system back to St. Louis, and I start hustling mix tapes, so I'm doing all the hip hop artists, and I'm doing my verse on it, and I start taking my day verse and putting them on the second, and it sounded like we together, because my engineers are really, really good, but he was like, man, you need to do this, why you and your transition to make the buzz pop back up.
6:54
[SPEAKER_02]: So I just wanted to say thank you and apologize at the same time, because I stole from a distance from right here in the bond.
7:01
[SPEAKER_05]: Hey, no, hey, look, ask by the inspire you.
7:04
[SPEAKER_05]: You owe me no apologies, and especially if it worked.
7:10
[SPEAKER_05]: Indeed, if the method worked, because that's what it was created for, that's exactly why I did it at that time.
7:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, some of the stories, you know,
7:22
[SPEAKER_05]: signed in the job records back in 2002, waiting for the album to come out, you know, I forced the hand for it to come out in 2005.
7:30
[SPEAKER_05]: And, you know, it was a time to show me, not that I had comfortable, but I had hustled up to the point where I got the job records.
7:40
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, in some cases, we get the record deal and we own and that's just to be kind enough it.
7:44
[SPEAKER_05]: You and these buildings, it's a lot of different clicks, a lot of different crews, you know,
7:51
[SPEAKER_05]: you know, all while, you know, still not compromising a more accomplishing spirituality.
7:56
[SPEAKER_05]: It's all the things that are important to you.
7:59
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, you got people coming at you different angles.
8:01
[SPEAKER_05]: You're trying to get the cattle like for moms.
8:03
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
8:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, it's all the different things, right?
8:06
[SPEAKER_05]: And, uh,
8:07
[SPEAKER_05]: And I just, I just said, yo, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to a 50 set.
8:12
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
8:12
[SPEAKER_05]: I've always been fluent by hip-hop.
8:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Got it.
8:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Me too.
8:15
[SPEAKER_05]: First and foremost, right?
8:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
8:17
[SPEAKER_05]: And so I, so I said, I feel like 50 is you and it gave me the, show me the way you show me the light.
8:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
8:24
[SPEAKER_05]: And I said, I'ma just start taking, taking the, go through the top 40, top 20, top 10 records.
8:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
8:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Urban and urban AC records, whatever's hot on the radio, whatever's hot in the club.
8:34
[SPEAKER_05]: and I'm just gonna flip them, I'm just gonna jack the beat and flip the beat.
8:50
[SPEAKER_05]: And do my own
8:53
[SPEAKER_05]: Um, you know, a response to the record.
8:55
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
8:55
[SPEAKER_05]: And uh, and then also showcasing new artists if you remember on the first tape, I think I had a, I had a, I'm released.
9:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Jasmine Sullivan record on there.
9:04
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
9:04
[SPEAKER_05]: There was a Jill Scott record a couple of people I shouted out at the, at the, at the, at the tape.
9:09
[SPEAKER_05]: But yeah, man, I like a lot of people went on to, you know, use that method, you know, from.
9:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Your soul, trace, trace on, right down the road, you know, him and he was with Demontia at the time.
9:20
[SPEAKER_05]: They were doing that.
9:22
[SPEAKER_05]: They told me the same, you know, Demontia told me the same thing.
9:25
[SPEAKER_05]: But it's all good, like, at the end of the day, you know, it's not about who does it.
9:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Does it first, but who does it best or anything.
9:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Even that.
9:34
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, it's, it's, what's ironic is that it's the full master worst of this day.
9:39
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
9:39
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, mixed tapes are, you know, but to be able to go down in history and say that I was the first to do the R&B.
9:45
[SPEAKER_05]: So mixed tapes, you know, as a singer to, to do those, you know, that's something that forever be, you know, part of part of our history, you know?
9:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
9:53
[SPEAKER_02]: No doubt, shout out to Rahim Devon, listen.
9:55
[SPEAKER_02]: Thank you, brother.
9:58
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, I was adopted never met anybody my biological family to 2020.
10:02
[SPEAKER_02]: And when it came to music, music was my outlet.
10:06
[SPEAKER_02]: So I wouldn't be so aggressive.
10:08
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I'm this young dude and saying, Lou, you know, you got this pretty hair, but don't know where you come from or whatever.
10:13
[SPEAKER_02]: And you know, as I took a deep dive back into you and in just your life, I seen that, you know, there were some day, some times where you would spend time with mom, and then in the summertime, you get an opportunity to be with your dad.
10:27
[SPEAKER_02]: Tell me a little bit about that dynamic and how it shaped you as a man.
10:30
[SPEAKER_05]: So, let's do it.
10:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Let's do it.
10:34
[SPEAKER_05]: My mom and my dad, they met in Jersey on the train, no, in New Jersey, lived in these buildings where we're known as the Collin Aates.
10:43
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
10:44
[SPEAKER_05]: Two, two, tall buildings, maybe 40 floors, each, two, two down at the top, one at the top, two at the top of the hill, two down at the bottom of the hill, in between those, in between the Collin Aates, set the 7,000 new projects today, two or down.
10:59
[SPEAKER_05]: And so, you know, they met my dad, while my mom, he was a young, chalice, you know.
11:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Music, too.
11:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, music, you know, me, chalice and child prodigy chalice we don't want to see much.
11:13
[SPEAKER_05]: It makes sense.
11:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Like you're saying, you're saying, yeah, my father's, my father's legendary genius in the jazz world, you know, had, um,
11:21
[SPEAKER_05]: one independent album out that he put out on his own and played on various albums was part of a few trio's and quartets as well.
11:30
[SPEAKER_05]: And this, you know, this, this, this is James, but to me, most importantly, he was that, you know, and although he wasn't in my household, he was in my life.
11:40
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, I mean, he fought to be in my life.
11:41
[SPEAKER_05]: And, you know, they had their, they had their adult thing going on and I didn't quite understand till I got older.
11:47
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, dealing with baggage and emotions and feelings and, you know, trickers and all the things, but yeah, he was dad, you know, so it was pretty cool for me because, you know, I mean, when it was all I knew, you know, so in my mind, I'm like, oh, man, this is dope.
12:04
[SPEAKER_05]: I got two, I got two houses I can go to, extend the family, second mom, you know, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at, at.
12:10
[SPEAKER_05]: at one point he remarried, okay?
12:12
[SPEAKER_05]: No, his long-time wife Camille, who later passed was like, you know, second mom to me and my sister and it gave me the opportunity to see my sister doing the summers, you know, and which she lived down in Richmond with her mom.
12:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
12:27
[SPEAKER_05]: So, you know, any given summer day, I'd wake up to my dad to the sound of him playing the cello.
12:32
[SPEAKER_05]: So, did he practice a lot?
12:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, he practiced a lot.
12:34
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
12:35
[SPEAKER_05]: I would wake up to the sound of him practicing, typically.
12:38
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, you know, move around with him, see what it was like being an independent music, you know, musician, you know, being, and, and, and, and just learning, you know, and then, and then again, and then spending time with my, my mother doing the school year, you know, my mother was a Baptist Christian, my father was a very strict Muslim in Islam, you know, to me, so, so even learn in both faiths and learn how to pray.
13:05
[SPEAKER_05]: you know, and bathed and all the things.
13:08
[SPEAKER_05]: And fast.
13:09
[SPEAKER_02]: So, so he adds a muscle.
13:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
13:12
[SPEAKER_02]: My arms like this Bible Totten Baptist.
13:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
13:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
13:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
13:16
[SPEAKER_02]: I what like, is that confusing for a child?
13:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, it can be absolutely absolutely.
13:21
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, you get older and you realize like some
13:29
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, there was a level of discipline that happened with dad that I might not have understood, but you don't have respect and the rules are with the rules of the house.
13:36
[SPEAKER_05]: Cut them.
13:37
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
13:38
[SPEAKER_05]: So we're fasting, these fasting the day that entire family is fasting, that's what we're doing.
13:43
[SPEAKER_02]: So dude, dude, dude, dude.
13:45
[SPEAKER_02]: So my dad, my biological dad is a Muslim too.
13:47
[SPEAKER_02]: I found that I'm 22.
13:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
13:49
[SPEAKER_02]: So this is a lot of fasting that goes on with dad that mom didn't actually
13:53
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh yeah, absolutely, it was no faster than when I was with my mom, you know, but I was with dad doing like Ramadana or when the month of Ramadana or, you know, or, or that, hey, we need the fast, this is the time that we need the fast and that's what we, you know, that's what we were doing.
14:09
[SPEAKER_05]: And just teaching, just, you know, just teaching, let, you know, so it's a better tug of war.
14:14
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, they had tug of war for the time I was born, you know.
14:17
[SPEAKER_05]: I've got four different names on my birth certificate.
14:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Four different names.
14:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Because he wanted to go with it.
14:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Islamic name, you know, my, my, my, um, you know, he for a long time.
14:28
[SPEAKER_05]: My father would call me up, too.
14:30
[SPEAKER_05]: Like he already started calling me right in like as like I got older and, you know, became right in the vine, you know, to me, but you got four different names on you.
14:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
14:42
[SPEAKER_05]: So it's because they were, you know, so he said, I do right in, and then my mom, I think one to do right in Smith to find, and yeah, so it's a lot of different, you know, at some point they copped a mast and he decided that he would call me up
15:00
[SPEAKER_05]: So do Rahim, as she would just call me Rahim.
15:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so, you know, that was always a little, you know, touching as they got older though, they hugged it out, you know, life be life in, you know, there's nothing, there's nothing more pain for than the scoring one man, you know, I mean, but sometimes we create the pain as men, you know, mean, rightfully so knowing the whole story now.
15:25
[SPEAKER_02]: So how can the person in my opinion who is one of the
15:33
[SPEAKER_02]: be such a patriarch, knowing that there was so much scorn history in the court.
15:40
[SPEAKER_05]: That you saw, yeah, children.
15:41
[SPEAKER_05]: Yes.
15:42
[SPEAKER_05]: They poured into your children.
15:44
[SPEAKER_05]: That's how you break the generational curse.
15:45
[SPEAKER_05]: You poured into your children.
15:47
[SPEAKER_05]: You try to, you try to heal with your parents, or, you know, those, those figures, that felt like that, that was there for you, you know.
15:57
[SPEAKER_05]: My father, my father's, you know, he passed.
15:59
[SPEAKER_05]: He's been going for three years now.
16:01
[SPEAKER_05]: You think that right?
16:02
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, but yeah, we had a really great relationship.
16:06
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
16:08
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, we talked a few times a day, you know, he was, I missed those calls after the concert.
16:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Like my dad was always trying to check it with me after the shows as he had a win.
16:18
[SPEAKER_05]: Cause he probably understood.
16:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, no, he had to understand.
16:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we talked a different language.
16:23
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, he talked news.
16:24
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
16:24
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
16:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
16:25
[SPEAKER_05]: Me talking news.
16:26
[SPEAKER_05]: You can, I can have a conversation where I'm about publishing or, you know, yeah, I can't have a conversation with moms, you know, we're going to talk about different things, you know, the whole set of different things, you know?
16:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
16:36
[SPEAKER_02]: So in 2024, I think we were all running back to the White House that last year.
16:41
[SPEAKER_02]: So many times.
16:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Like I was getting calls so much from the White House.
16:44
[SPEAKER_02]: I knew we probably wouldn't go and back this next time.
16:46
[SPEAKER_02]: Because I've turned it down.
16:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, man, you won't come over to a couple of got to point it to.
16:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, I got to stay home with the kids.
16:52
[SPEAKER_02]: I knew someone was happening.
16:53
[SPEAKER_02]: But in 2024, you said on the panel about mental health.
16:57
[SPEAKER_02]: And you began to talk about some of the things that your father had challenges with and your perspective on mental health as a man.
17:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Personally, I'm divorced, right?
17:06
[SPEAKER_02]: It's been divorced now, have these children.
17:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Life was life in and life for the first time in my life.
17:12
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, yo,
17:15
[SPEAKER_02]: I really know what it feels like to be out of control, you know what I mean?
17:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, usually I'm pretty solid in my faith, I'm solid in this, like, what have you learned about yourself knowing that some of the things your dad had to overcome?
17:27
[SPEAKER_02]: What have you learned about mental health personally with Rahim Devon?
17:30
[SPEAKER_04]: More love you more podcast after this.
17:34
[SPEAKER_00]: every day, people are forced to make impossible choices.
17:37
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17:43
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17:46
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17:49
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17:51
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17:55
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17:57
[SPEAKER_02]: So if the price of medication has been holding you back, baby, listen.
18:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Hell is closer than you think.
18:04
[SPEAKER_02]: All you have to do is visit RX Outreach right now and hope that you can get the prescriptions feel that you need.
18:11
[SPEAKER_02]: I wanna encourage you to go now.
18:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Flat out.
18:17
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, how fragile the mind is, how fragile the heart is, to not judge a book by its cover, to give everybody grace, be kind to people, you know, commit random acts of kindness.
18:33
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, the person that you see in the street that we might know being young is like, kids on the school yard and we all crazy man Johnson.
18:40
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, he's talking to us, talking to us, I understand that what mental health is and how they got there, what tools are out there for them?
18:54
[SPEAKER_05]: What number can you call instead of 9-1-1, when you see somebody in the mental health crisis?
19:01
[SPEAKER_05]: And that you can still be, you can still, and that everybody has stuff going on, right?
19:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Some people's challenges and life are greater than others, but that's a super seed.
19:13
[SPEAKER_05]: They're greatness or they're talent.
19:15
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm really in favor.
19:17
[SPEAKER_05]: Somebody that I love and cherish, or receive the game, you say, hey, when you talk about your dad,
19:22
[SPEAKER_05]: make sure that you don't just talk about, you know, it's just challenges with mental health, but be sure to let them know that your dad was brilliant.
19:37
[SPEAKER_05]: He was great, and he left a footprint, you know, on this planet that
19:45
[SPEAKER_05]: that that makes him unique in one of a kind, you know?
19:48
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
19:49
[SPEAKER_02]: If that sees you now, where you are right now, you know, late 40s, you know, doing what you got to do, I'm gonna have a century.
19:57
[SPEAKER_05]: Oh, you fit the, okay, I'm gonna fit the game.
19:59
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm proud about that.
20:00
[SPEAKER_02]: Cheers, all my way though, come on.
20:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you fit the game.
20:03
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, fit the game.
20:04
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, you fit the game.
20:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you fit the game.
20:06
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you fit the game.
20:07
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, we still work.
20:08
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
20:11
[SPEAKER_02]: No, I want, I like,
20:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Seeing where you are now, it just seemed like it's a level of freedom.
20:16
[SPEAKER_02]: As I say, like, you don't know it, but I've been in rooms with you.
20:20
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, this dude got to be from New York.
20:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Because it was like, you know, you had a, you had a grit to you.
20:26
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was like, man, RB dudes, this is all I would probably tougher the rappers around this P.A.
20:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Like what does what does dad say about this version, who's more vulnerable and open to what life has to offer differently?
20:36
[SPEAKER_02]: Like what does dad say about this?
20:38
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, family, thank you so much for watching this amazing episode with our dear brother Rahim Devon.
20:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Here's the case, 22.
20:43
[SPEAKER_02]: 53% of the people who actually watch this show, they are not subscribers, right?
20:49
[SPEAKER_02]: And so I don't want that to be you.
20:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Do me a favor, press subscribe, and make sure that you lock in with the love you more show.
20:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Season eight, flat out.
20:56
[SPEAKER_05]: For no hope he's proud, you know, I know I'm sure there's moments he'd be like, what do you do with you, while it, you know what I mean, you know, I think that I'm dead.
21:13
[SPEAKER_05]: He knows that I've been prepared to have the tools.
21:16
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
21:17
[SPEAKER_05]: So sometimes you gotta rope yourself back in.
21:19
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, I've never been one of those, is I've been never been one of those artists to drink my whole Kool-A, you know what I mean?
21:26
[SPEAKER_05]: So I was always been taught to be humble, you know what I mean?
21:34
[SPEAKER_05]: And I think there's an art that's still being humble, but
21:37
[SPEAKER_05]: But still being able to say, hey, like, this is my season.
21:41
[SPEAKER_05]: And I'm celebrating, I'm celebrating every win.
21:45
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, Big Tall is small and yeah, but I think that, I think that, you know, all you'd be definitely proud of what I got shaking and what I got going on.
21:54
[SPEAKER_05]: And the fact that I've been able to push through, I mean, losing my dad and having to, you know, being the one who, who, uh,
22:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Bate was the last to bathe him completely from head to toe, right in his body, you know, open the casket, turn his head, you know, and to the east and I didn't able to do that, you know, losing them on a Wednesday and been able to accomplish all that by Friday, you know, knowing that that's what he wanted.
22:34
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, by telling me that like in terms of like there's nothing that there's no adversity is nothing that I can't endure on the planet.
22:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I think I feel like it's prepared me for whatever come my way.
22:46
[SPEAKER_05]: Good batter and different, you know what I mean, you know, you know, thank you for sharing.
22:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Having to do that.
22:54
[SPEAKER_02]: and then having to go how back on stage and be like, what's the process?
23:01
[SPEAKER_02]: And so just full of transparency.
23:03
[SPEAKER_02]: I lost my biological mother December 23, okay, sure.
23:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Like she transitioned between me and my big brother.
23:12
[SPEAKER_05]: How much time did you have with her?
23:13
[SPEAKER_05]: I think that six years with her.
23:14
[SPEAKER_05]: Got it, yeah, so that's, that's, yeah.
23:17
[SPEAKER_05]: That's rough for a whole another.
23:18
[SPEAKER_05]: reasons for a whole, never say reasons, you know, finding their reconnecting.
23:22
[SPEAKER_02]: And it was love.
23:23
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like my mom and my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my, my
23:39
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I really live like the fresh prince of Ben Larry.
23:43
[SPEAKER_02]: I was just in the hood.
23:44
[SPEAKER_02]: And I was good.
23:45
[SPEAKER_02]: I was good.
23:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Like it was love when you got past everything that was going on in the street.
23:49
[SPEAKER_02]: So how did you navigate like having to greed, but then still having a schedule?
23:53
[SPEAKER_02]: Did you take time off?
23:55
[SPEAKER_05]: Man, let me just say first and foremost, like.
23:58
[SPEAKER_05]: I ain't been all the way right since.
24:00
[SPEAKER_05]: You never really will be.
24:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Thanks if you did this real.
24:03
[SPEAKER_05]: You never really, it's the worst, it's the worst heartbreak you can endure.
24:08
[SPEAKER_05]: It's a different kind of heartbreak when you lose a parent.
24:11
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, having, you know, got forbid, never want to lose a child.
24:15
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
24:16
[SPEAKER_05]: I mean, eventually it happens, right?
24:18
[SPEAKER_05]: But you, I pray I'll live my children, right?
24:22
[SPEAKER_05]: Um, excuse me, I prayed, I prayed to my children, I would live me.
24:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, I want to say, yeah, yeah, I prayed to my children, I would live me, right?
24:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Um, but yeah, I didn't know how to navigate.
24:35
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, I, I, I, in fact, I landed that Saturday after, you know, his home going and I just denies it as we call it in the Islam and, uh, I, I, I, I did a show.
24:50
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
24:51
[SPEAKER_05]: I landed.
24:52
[SPEAKER_05]: I did a show.
24:53
[SPEAKER_05]: And then in a couple of days later, I did another show.
24:57
[SPEAKER_05]: And I went on navigating trying to figure out, you know, in between and crying myself to sleep, to sleep, or to sleep this night, to crying myself to sleep, or, you know,
25:14
[SPEAKER_05]: You're there, you're there, but you really aim until you're there and you're literally laying there crying and they don't know like, cause you're crying in silence cause as men, we taught not to cry, you know what I mean?
25:26
[SPEAKER_05]: So for me, the groundbreaking moment, the breakthrough moment was with Sturpee.
25:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Cause I had never had therapy up until that point.
25:34
[SPEAKER_05]: So, you know, I was one of those people that,
25:37
[SPEAKER_05]: I want those black men, I want those human beings that figured, oh, maybe it's not for me.
25:42
[SPEAKER_05]: Knowing that there are things that I'm walking around with that I had never shared with the average person or you know, people that I couldn't confide and know people that I confide it in about these things.
25:54
[SPEAKER_05]: through it in my face later on, or you know, it came up in a, it came up in a, in the heat of a moment, as it, you know, as it, as it, as it happened sometimes.
26:05
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, so therapy was, was it was, was it just, I opened it for me, you know, it showed me, you know, I was, I was able to pinpoint the source of a lot of attention and, you know, self-destruction mode and just like all the things, trauma, I was able to, you know, I went there
26:25
[SPEAKER_05]: I went there thinking I was going there for one thing.
26:28
[SPEAKER_05]: And then I remember in the first session, he said, give me a list of the things that you want to work on, you know what I mean, like what do you, and of course, like one of the main things was it was a loss of my dad.
26:43
[SPEAKER_05]: But I wanted to talk about, I wanted to talk about the loss of my dad and grieving.
26:47
[SPEAKER_05]: I wanted to talk about, you know,
26:50
[SPEAKER_05]: the wanting the need to be understanding the concept of fatherhood versus being the provider and having multiple households, where I have these kids, that I love and having a great, I have a great co-parent relationship with the mothers for the most part, but just like ragling,
27:12
[SPEAKER_05]: down in on myself or where you're carrying his weight on myself of like being a sole provider and just sexual abuse.
27:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Like it was just a lot of things that I was carrying and I wanted to like, that I didn't feel like I had it up to this point I realized that I really never had a safe place to like dump because I could just dump it all.
27:31
[SPEAKER_05]: It's somebody's lap, and it helped me navigate through it and get the homework assignments that's needed.
27:37
[SPEAKER_05]: All right, like all that, and you don't realize how valuable the homework assignments are until you take those breaks or decide, okay, maybe I'm not going to do 30 for a while, or you're able to identify that you need to start, go back.
27:54
[SPEAKER_05]: But the homework assignment stick with you for life, you know what I mean?
28:01
[SPEAKER_05]: The reality is, you know, a lot of us wake our waking up deli in the goal is to not crash out on anybody else or ourselves.
28:12
[SPEAKER_05]: I say that again, we like moving around in the goal, the real goal is a few goals in life right now for, you know, is to make it home safe.
28:20
[SPEAKER_05]: Right, because we're in a time, we all know the times that we end, and it's just like, really not.
28:26
[SPEAKER_05]: Let somebody stir up your soul to a point where you feel like you want to crash.
28:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
28:31
[SPEAKER_05]: Where you risk, where you risk your freedom, your livelihood, your life, you know, or that you get so weak and wary that you feel like.
28:40
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, that you want to crash out on yourself, or which is, which is suicide, right?
28:44
[SPEAKER_05]: That's the, that's the enemy.
28:46
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, no doubt, you know, but, but, and then some, but in some cases, it's also mental health, though, too.
28:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, people that people are going through things and they don't have a safe pace to have a conversation or, or maybe, you know, it could be schizophrenia, it could be extreme bipolar, it could be other, any number of things, right?
29:02
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
29:03
[SPEAKER_05]: And, uh,
29:04
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, that's why, you know, bring a full circle.
29:07
[SPEAKER_05]: That's why, you know, that's been one of the major initiatives.
29:10
[SPEAKER_05]: For me, you know, to be able to go out and wrap for my dad now.
29:15
[SPEAKER_05]: but also the rep for those with more employees for the people that don't have anybody that are rep for them.
29:21
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
29:21
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
29:22
[SPEAKER_05]: To be the voice for the voiceless, you know, and I started my foundation, the Love Life Foundation back in 2013.
29:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Okay.
29:32
[SPEAKER_05]: And, you know, that's just one of the many initiatives that we support with the foundation mental health.
29:40
[SPEAKER_02]: Who turns you on the therapy?
29:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Was it a friend or a woman?
29:46
[SPEAKER_05]: I just knew I needed it.
29:48
[SPEAKER_05]: And it was just, it was just tumbling and lying and lying.
29:51
[SPEAKER_05]: And I had just gotten a new primary care doctor, Dr. Haja, Dr. Haja, Dr. Haja, Dr. Haja.
29:58
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, and uh, and uh,
30:01
[SPEAKER_05]: He offered a program to his office that when they offered therapy.
30:11
[SPEAKER_05]: They offered therapy.
30:12
[SPEAKER_05]: They offered a number of things.
30:14
[SPEAKER_05]: I was like, oh man.
30:17
[SPEAKER_05]: That's I need that right now.
30:19
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you know what I mean?
30:21
[SPEAKER_05]: Like I remember it's having a conversation that one day and it was I was just saying like yeah, I know I'm not going crazy, but it's just some things I just need to get all my chest and get out my head and it's another figure out and he said I'm in I offer a free
30:36
[SPEAKER_05]: You can go right around the corner, right around the corner.
30:40
[SPEAKER_05]: You can get you signed up.
30:41
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
30:42
[SPEAKER_05]: And there's one of the best things that I think I've done.
30:45
[SPEAKER_02]: And so being the artist who represent love on like even the new stuff that you've been doing, live performances, love, love.
30:57
[SPEAKER_02]: I think you and I share a similarity when it comes to having children in multiple homes, but still doing our best to be the best dance that we can be.
31:05
[SPEAKER_02]: Does Rahim Devon ever see his self, like, in a healthy relationship, marriage type thing, or is that something that you, you know, actually are interested in anymore?
31:16
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, love you more family.
31:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Did you know that we have a community on Patreon called The Flat Out Family?
31:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Right now, we have an interview with Jay Barnett, one of the most amazing doctors in the world.
31:27
[SPEAKER_02]: He shares everything about what your man probably going through that he never told you.
31:31
[SPEAKER_02]: He probably had never told you, but JD, so do me a favor, head over to flatoutfamily.com, join the family, and don't just hang out with us, get involved, hang out now, flat out.
31:42
[SPEAKER_05]: I don't know, like, you know, I go back or forth between the two, you know what I mean, transparently, you know what I mean?
31:52
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, I can't say that.
31:54
[SPEAKER_05]: what I had realized at 50 and at 48, you know, 49, 50, go over the last 72 months is that and I say definitely after I became like, just Monica, this figure, just like, look, yeah, yeah, you know, just every sense like, you know,
32:16
[SPEAKER_05]: 2002, 2000, but 2002 and particularly because that's when I did my first record deal and we went public and you know and then of course like once the album came out man it's like I can't tell you with the time when I discovered through therapy that I have no concept of time.
32:32
[SPEAKER_05]: You know so for me for me it's just like one big movie.
32:35
[SPEAKER_02]: It's like never in this story.
32:37
[SPEAKER_05]: It's like a never in this story, you know me.
32:40
[SPEAKER_05]: When a series
32:45
[SPEAKER_05]: I realized looking back, man, I've sacrificed and just made everybody else and everything a priority, you know, relationships that didn't work out, you know, kids that weren't mine.
32:57
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, my kids are always being a priority for me, you know.
33:03
[SPEAKER_05]: being a provider, you know, being, you know, I'm sure you know, you know what I mean?
33:09
[SPEAKER_05]: You get a lot of calls and over the years, I've said a lot of yeses.
33:13
[SPEAKER_05]: Now it's a lot of no.
33:15
[SPEAKER_05]: Yes, no, it's my best friend.
33:17
[SPEAKER_05]: In a sense, I'm saying like, no, I can't do it.
33:19
[SPEAKER_05]: No, I don't have it.
33:21
[SPEAKER_05]: No, what I got going on is a priority.
33:27
[SPEAKER_02]: So how did you get there?
33:28
[SPEAKER_02]: Because that's what this show is about, like, yeah, I believe loving you more actually can make other people feel like who do you think you are when you've been called the pen that you don't gay so much or yourself.
33:39
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like my daddy told me said you know what son, I love you.
33:42
[SPEAKER_02]: You a good guy my daddy 95 he said, look at man.
33:46
[SPEAKER_02]: The difference between me and you is that you a good man and a nice guy.
33:50
[SPEAKER_02]: I was like, what that mean?
33:52
[SPEAKER_02]: He was like, I'm not a nice guy.
33:54
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm just a good man.
33:55
[SPEAKER_02]: A nice guy is literally trying to make everybody around him happy.
33:59
[SPEAKER_02]: I want to encourage you to learn how to just be good because that nice should just ain't that ain't where you want to be.
34:04
[SPEAKER_02]: And I'm like, but I'm the only one.
34:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And I got this hero mentality.
34:08
[SPEAKER_02]: I got to be the hero to the family.
34:10
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, of course, I told you I'm like, I'm a doctor.
34:12
[SPEAKER_02]: So I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna make it for us for us.
34:14
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
34:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Man, I look back, bro, it's like, you think I might have really cared like that?
34:18
[SPEAKER_05]: And you're doing all this for us and we and them.
34:21
[SPEAKER_05]: And then you look up and then you have a moment where, you know, it could be whatever boom, the fight of a government kick your door in.
34:30
[SPEAKER_05]: And you know, you know, you know, you know what I mean, or if you want to take it on the street level,
34:35
[SPEAKER_05]: The fans got you now and all these people that you helped and all these people you affiliated with and now, you got cold offentance and all these things.
34:46
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
34:51
[SPEAKER_05]: So it, whether it's single monogamous polyamorous, whatever, right, like it's understanding that that,
35:02
[SPEAKER_05]: For once in my life, like I made it, I made it, I made, you know, I walked out of the therapy sessions, like I didn't find, like who I am, committing, loving that person, you know, committed every day to becoming a better new version of myself, right?
35:20
[SPEAKER_05]: But I'm in the priority right now.
35:23
[SPEAKER_05]: It's probably why,
35:25
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, this ascension is even happening with my career, like in the space that I'm in.
35:30
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, I've said time and time.
35:32
[SPEAKER_05]: Again, I haven't scratched the surface, but like, yeah, some of that, a lot of that is just, everybody can't go to people with it, you know, that you're with or been with, just, you know.
35:42
[SPEAKER_05]: You have to be cool with isolating yourself, you know what I mean, and it's not normal isolating yourself as long as you tap into the high power, you know, the source of it all, then so be it, you know, the fables and the stories and the word from, you know, from the
36:10
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, most profits when things they had in common, they spend a lot of time to them, too.
36:18
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I got to go to Massaclos based to learn what I need to learn.
36:22
[SPEAKER_02]: So just kind of land in the plain.
36:24
[SPEAKER_02]: when it comes to your children and you see them, do you see a lot of parts of yourself that you blind man?
36:34
[SPEAKER_02]: I wish I could have got that a little earlier so you wouldn't experience that.
36:38
[SPEAKER_05]: Absolutely, but I think that's the investment that we've put in the num, you know, the village plays a role in that.
36:46
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you know?
36:48
[SPEAKER_05]: That, you know,
36:54
[SPEAKER_02]: Persons of me, I got to be cool.
36:56
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, they got to be cool to Persons of me.
36:57
[SPEAKER_05]: You know what I mean?
36:58
[SPEAKER_05]: I want to have the jump start.
37:00
[SPEAKER_05]: I didn't have, you know what I mean?
37:03
[SPEAKER_05]: I'm here in town, for example, for an event, it deals with,
37:09
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, financial literacy and life insurance and how to leverage, leverage these things to become your own banking system and if you're in banking and just all the things right, like I was a late bloomer that I, you know what I mean, but like being able to have this information now, I can get, I can create a system for them to give them a head start that I didn't have.
37:29
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah, you know what I mean?
37:30
[SPEAKER_05]: because, you know, or just maybe my parents didn't know, you know, but the family didn't know that we could get policies on all of each other and build this wealth and get a trust and do some of the things that we see, you know, other people doing, you know, on the planet and our communities, you know, me.
37:49
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
37:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, or I hate him to be honest, but I'm so grateful that I got an opportunity to sit with you to get to learn more about about the man.
37:57
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, we grew up like in the 2002 thing and it was like, you know, every artist had to be so mysterious.
38:03
[SPEAKER_02]: It was like, you know, you only know what you know, but I think because you've been through so much and now seeing what God is doing as far as the expansion of your brain.
38:12
[SPEAKER_02]: And I mean, you know, you, my brother, I love you the life you still look fly like life ain't beat you up like that.
38:17
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, some of the people that came in our time when they were signed of that, you look, you be like, damn, and it got you.
38:22
[SPEAKER_02]: You know what I mean?
38:24
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, we in an era now, we're, we're, you know, being a drug guy, it's celebrated.
38:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
38:28
[SPEAKER_05]: Like, we're not era in an era before as, you know, we, we just knew.
38:33
[SPEAKER_05]: Yeah.
38:33
[SPEAKER_05]: You know, we, we, we, we was taught different, so we moved different, so we got to continue to change the narrative.
38:39
[SPEAKER_05]: And I controlled it in there too, you know?
38:42
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah, and they family listen, I don't know about you, but you know sometimes when you get an opportunity to sit with a person, you know that it's so much more than just what they do.
38:51
[SPEAKER_02]: And so my challenge to you is to connect with people who love you, not because of what you do.
38:56
[SPEAKER_02]: but because of who you are, people who can understand that what you're going through and what you have overcome is so much bigger than your talent.
39:04
[SPEAKER_02]: You know, today we got an opportunity to meet a person who, you know, spent a plethora of time with mom and then he got a chance to meet his, and hang out with his dad in the summertime to understand it as father was a musician, learning that mental health was something that could play it came later.
39:19
[SPEAKER_02]: So he took the initiative to make sure that he got therapy in a time where, you know, he had an inklander, how long man and stuff is getting out of control?
39:26
[UNKNOWN]: You
39:26
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you aware of what might be plaguing you that you didn't even know about?
39:31
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, are you smarter enough to reach out to somebody and say, hey, some things going on that I don't necessarily understand.
39:36
[SPEAKER_02]: The question is this, what if Raheem didn't tell his doctor?
39:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Hey, I think some, I mean, I'm good, but I ain't as good as I need to be.
39:45
[SPEAKER_02]: Like, are you humble enough to say, hey, man, I know I'm specifically to the man.
39:50
[SPEAKER_02]: Are you humble enough to say, listen, I know I look like Superman to you, but I'm really Clark Kent
39:57
[SPEAKER_02]: It's just a question.
39:59
[SPEAKER_02]: Ladies, I want to tell you, I know many of you are watching this.
40:02
[SPEAKER_02]: But your man going through some things quietly that he may not share with you.
40:06
[SPEAKER_02]: And the best way for you to get the information now is becoming a safe space.
40:10
[SPEAKER_02]: That when he does decide to share something very vulnerable and emotional with you, that you don't use it against him later on when you guys get into a heated moment.
40:19
[SPEAKER_02]: Because here's one thing that I want you to know, for most men who haven't done the work all the way, right?
40:24
[SPEAKER_02]: If they lay their burden down and that burden comes back to be a weapon, they will never bring that burden back to you again.
40:32
[SPEAKER_02]: and that's a hard truth.
40:34
[SPEAKER_02]: Many of you have lost your relationship with your man.
40:37
[SPEAKER_02]: Because guess what?
40:38
[SPEAKER_02]: He laid it down, you brought it back up, and you don't even know that he's detached from you forever, right?
40:43
[SPEAKER_02]: And so my challenge to you ladies is when you see two men being vulnerable about where they come from, what they've been through and you realize that you're with a man who doesn't do that, I want you to act yourself and my sight for nothing for him to do that.
40:55
[SPEAKER_02]: And if you're not as safe as he needs to be,
40:58
[SPEAKER_02]: and maybe there's some adjustments that need to happen.
41:01
[SPEAKER_02]: Put this in your back pocket.
41:02
[SPEAKER_02]: Pride is gonna make an excuse.
41:04
[SPEAKER_02]: I'm doing this, I'm doing that.
41:06
[SPEAKER_02]: Humility will make the adjustment.
41:09
[SPEAKER_02]: Ladies, will you be humble enough?
41:11
[SPEAKER_02]: This is how I'm gonna adjust for my man.
41:13
[SPEAKER_02]: Because guess what?
41:14
[SPEAKER_02]: The enemy wanna kill him.
41:16
[SPEAKER_02]: He won't, he won't him out of there.
41:18
[SPEAKER_02]: And let me tell you why, because he know if he's out of the picture, his free-want free-want on you and the family.
41:23
[SPEAKER_02]: And so it's not that he's more important, I just understand where the attack is because if you get the man, you get the family.
41:30
[SPEAKER_02]: Protect your family by saving the safe space for your man.
41:35
[SPEAKER_02]: And don't forget to love yourself more.
41:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Love you more, love you more, love you more,