Latest / The Hypnotist / Hypnosis for Sexual Performance Anxiety - Rewire Pressure into Playful Confidence - Hypnosis Only

Transcript

Hypnosis for Sexual Performance Anxiety - Rewire Pressure into Playful Confidence - Hypnosis Only · The Hypnotist

• 0:24
  Take a deep breath in, and as you breathe in, breathe in that
• 0:33
  resourceful feeling of calm and relaxation.
• 0:39
  And as you exhale, allow your eyelids to close, and as they do
• 0:46
  so, feel a sense of release, almost like any pent up
• 0:55
  pressure, stress, expectations that you have of yourself are
• 1:03
  being released in every outward breath.
• 1:12
  And when you breathe in, breathe in a wonderful feeling of calm
• 1:20
  confidence. You've had this feeling many
• 1:24
  times before, but as you breathe in, imagine breathing in that
• 1:29
  calm confidence. And as you exhale, release the
• 1:37
  pressure, expectations and any fear of judgement, especially
• 1:44
  your own, feel it leaving your body in that outward breath.
• 1:54
  And maybe you've already noticed that the deeper you breathe, the
• 2:00
  more relaxed and less pressured you feel.
• 2:06
  And the more relaxed you feel the deeper you breathe.
• 2:12
  Each breath is able to take you deeper and deeper.
• 2:18
  Relax. Now that's it.
• 2:31
  And I wonder if you can use the power of your imagination to
• 2:37
  think of a moment where someone suggested something and the
• 2:43
  moment they said it, you were immediately looking forward to
• 2:48
  that thing. Maybe a game, maybe an activity,
• 2:56
  maybe just an idea, and the moment you heard it, something
• 3:03
  conscious or unconscious evaluated that as something
• 3:08
  positive within your capabilities and fun or
• 3:14
  desirable. And as you go back to that
• 3:18
  memory, awaken all of those neurons that know how to get
• 3:25
  excited at the prospect of something, and then use the
• 3:32
  power of your imagination to imagine a place in nature where
• 3:39
  you feel deeply relaxed. And as you exhale, feel your
• 3:47
  body relax, maybe from your neck or your shoulders, your jaw,
• 3:54
  your arms or your legs. Because here, within your
• 3:58
  imagination, there is nothing you need to achieve, nothing to
• 4:04
  perform and nothing to prove. Here is just your imagination, a
• 4:14
  playground of possibility. And sometimes thinking about
• 4:21
  something feels like a rehearsal practice, just thoughts, all of
• 4:32
  which are safe. You can't get it wrong.
• 4:42
  Allow your body to begin doing what it naturally does when
• 4:48
  there is no threat, when there is no expectation.
• 4:53
  Your breathing finds its own rhythm.
• 4:57
  Your eyes rest even under your eyelids.
• 5:04
  And just imagine a dial, some kind of button, like a volume
• 5:11
  button there in your body that represents pressure.
• 5:16
  And as you breathe in and breathe out just right now turn
• 5:22
  it down. And whatever number it may have
• 5:26
  been, turn it down all the way to 1 or even 0.
• 5:34
  Because here there is no expectation, only curiosity.
• 5:43
  And sometimes the mind learns associations, just like a dog
• 5:49
  learns that that leash, that dog lead, means something specific.
• 5:57
  And your brain learned that certain cues, a phrase, a look,
• 6:05
  a touch, a suggestion or thought about what to do later.
• 6:13
  Your brain thought that meant pressure.
• 6:17
  And the brain believes something means pressure.
• 6:22
  It creates a self fulfilling prophecy.
• 6:25
  It prepares for evaluation. And that evaluation means that
• 6:31
  you can get it right or get it wrong.
• 6:36
  It activates anxiety, not because something is wrong with
• 6:41
  you, but because your nervous system believed that it was
• 6:47
  helping. But you know, in all those times
• 6:53
  in the past where you really enjoyed something, you weren't
• 6:59
  evaluating how good or bad you were, that part of your brain
• 7:05
  was switched off and you just enjoyed.
• 7:11
  And I want you to imagine that part, a part within you, is now
• 7:19
  learning something new from you. That's why I want you to think
• 7:28
  of a very low stakes activity. Something playful, pressure
• 7:34
  free, light and fun. Maybe it's a moment where you
• 7:41
  were just knocking a ball back and forth with a friend, just
• 7:47
  having a conversation, going for a jog or a walk.
• 7:53
  No competition, no scoreboard, no audience.
• 8:01
  Just movement, connection, energy.
• 8:05
  And I want you to imagine you're back in your body in that
• 8:12
  scenario, feeling loose, unresponsive, engaged.
• 8:21
  Rewind it to before it even started.
• 8:23
  Imagine someone smiling or saying or messaging.
• 8:28
  Should we play later and just connect with that feeling of 0
• 8:34
  pressure? Just possibility?
• 8:37
  And what if that is the new template?
• 8:44
  But when you hear words like maybe later, how about tonight,
• 8:53
  a certain tone of voice or a certain touch, your brain now
• 9:01
  links it to not pressure, but play, not performance, not
• 9:09
  obligation play. And you know how to play.
• 9:16
  And you know from your childhood that play equals fun, not
• 9:22
  pressure. And when it has that meaning,
• 9:27
  that connotation, you get a sense that you can build a new
• 9:34
  way of thinking. Because anxiety does not appear
• 9:40
  instantly. It builds, I guess, slowly
• 9:46
  filling a balloon. And you now know that you can
• 9:51
  interrupt the inflation before it ever gets to A6, Slow down
• 9:59
  time. So even if it's A1, imagine
• 10:05
  smiling. It's just energy, and energy can
• 10:11
  mean excitement. Part of you remembers how
• 10:19
  anxiety and excitement feel very similar in the body.
• 10:28
  The only difference is meaning. Excitement is an evaluation that
• 10:35
  something positive, fun, pleasurable will happen in the
• 10:39
  future. Anxiety.
• 10:45
  Anxiety thinks that something will go wrong in the future, and
• 10:51
  when the only difference is meaning, you get to decide what
• 10:56
  that meaning is. I want you to get a sense that
• 11:03
  if the connotation of something being instigated, initiated, it
• 11:10
  means that you get to have fun, to play, to experience joy and
• 11:15
  pleasure and connection with no judgement, no pressure.
• 11:24
  Isn't that something that will naturally open the door to
• 11:30
  positive evaluations and excitement?
• 11:37
  That's in connect with that feeling of excitement.
• 11:40
  And I want you to imagine you're observing something, perhaps in
• 11:49
  your own home. Observe your partner making a
• 11:54
  comment about what you may do together later.
• 12:02
  And for a moment, just observe version of you that nearly runs
• 12:09
  the old pattern, but instead see yourself pausing and genuinely
• 12:20
  smiling in a calm, somewhat detached way.
• 12:28
  That version of you is running a new pattern, a pattern of play.
• 12:38
  I want you to see a version of you that looks pressure free, no
• 12:44
  expectations, no judgement, no high stakes.
• 12:49
  I want you to imagine a version of you that can't lose.
• 12:54
  Whatever happens, life is enriched, enhanced.
• 12:59
  It's all just fun. See that version of you that is
• 13:07
  excited, calm, relaxed, and most of all playful?
• 13:16
  A light smile, eye contact, relaxed body language.
• 13:22
  See that version of you looking grounded?
• 13:26
  See that version of you looking capable with choices, options,
• 13:36
  and then rewind that. And then imagine stepping into
• 13:40
  that version of you. Your partner is about to
• 13:45
  initiate sex, either for now or for later, and that version of
• 13:50
  you feels that it is a wonderful, positive opportunity
• 14:00
  for you to connect. Intimacy is not a test, not an
• 14:08
  exam and not an evaluation. Just two adults exploring
• 14:15
  connection. Low stakes, optional,
• 14:20
  collaborative. And this is just rehearsal, just
• 14:26
  your imagination, and you can feel something different, feel
• 14:33
  anticipation, curiosity, excitement.
• 14:43
  Rewind that and then imagine that it is now you initiating.
• 14:51
  Not as a big declaration, not as a dramatic build up, but
• 14:57
  lightly, playfully. I want you to get a sense of how
• 15:04
  calm you feel. No urgency, immune from
• 15:10
  rejection. If the response is positive,
• 15:14
  good. And if it's not right now, So
• 15:17
  what? It's just an invitation.
• 15:22
  If the invitation is accepted, great, and if not, equally fine.
• 15:31
  This is not a vote on your worth, because your worth does
• 15:36
  not change. Your value does not change.
• 15:42
  No rejection and no pressure, just timing.
• 15:47
  Feel immune to pressure and notice how powerful this feels
• 15:57
  to initiate from strength, spontaneity, a desire to give,
• 16:04
  not take from curiosity. That's it.
• 16:11
  No pressure at all. And then imagine observing that
• 16:16
  version of you like you're in the room now or later, and just
• 16:23
  see how you initiate, see your posture, see those relaxed
• 16:30
  shoulders, easy breathing, how comfortable you look in your own
• 16:35
  skin. You look at ease, rewind it,
• 16:41
  step into that version of you, take that first person
• 16:45
  perspective, and then feel what it feels like to be that
• 16:51
  relaxed, that steady, that quietly confident.
• 16:58
  Because all along, the issue was never the issue.
• 17:03
  The issue was that you were judging yourself harshly and it
• 17:08
  created a false connection that sex means pressure, and it never
• 17:14
  did to allow that nervous system to calm down.
• 17:21
  Sex now means connection, play, fun.
• 17:28
  Your thoughts are simple, your body is responsive rather than
• 17:34
  tense, and I want you to imagine switching from being in that
• 17:41
  version of you to observing that version of you and thinking of
• 17:47
  all the different environments that you could either respond to
• 17:51
  initiation or initiate. Imagine hearing the phrases that
• 17:59
  once triggered anxiety, but now hear them through a different
• 18:05
  lens. Feel that when you hear the same
• 18:09
  words, they're now linked to playfulness, blightness, a low
• 18:16
  stakes shot to nothing. Then imagine the look, the
• 18:20
  touch, the suggestion, and each time you are connecting it with
• 18:29
  a feeling of fun play. Something you get to do, never
• 18:36
  have to do, because the meaning has now changed.
• 18:44
  It no longer means pressure, it means playful possibilities.
• 18:53
  And I think you're just two or three real life experiences away
• 19:00
  where intimacy is relaxed, playful, pressure free, and then
• 19:07
  the brain locks in this new pattern.
• 19:13
  And you don't need those two or three experiences straight away.
• 19:18
  Just know that when you have those two or three experiences,
• 19:23
  thinking, genuine playfulness, passion, excitement and fun, the
• 19:31
  absence of anxiety or pressure, then the old pathway weakens and
• 19:37
  the new one strengthens because neurons that fire together wire
• 19:44
  together and you are firing. Calm with intimacy.
• 19:52
  Feel safe yet excited. Connecting confidence with
• 19:57
  connection. From now on, you will feel that
• 20:03
  intimacy is play, not performance.
• 20:08
  You're allowed to be relaxed. You're allowed to be curious.
• 20:14
  You're allowed to enjoy anticipation.
• 20:18
  You have nothing to prove, especially to yourself.
• 20:24
  You choose connection that comes from that confidence.
• 20:32
  And maybe you decide that when you initiate, you will initiate
• 20:38
  things that don't require you to have sex.
• 20:44
  Maybe you initiate foreplay. Maybe you initiate just touch
• 20:52
  connection. Maybe your focus is on your
• 20:58
  partner's pleasure, not your performance.
• 21:03
  And in doing so, you smile. Because this is a game you
• 21:11
  cannot lose. That is playful possibility.
• 21:17
  That is vitality. And before we leave this place
• 21:23
  in your imagination, imagine. Imagine it's a week or two weeks
• 21:31
  from now. Imagine that version of you
• 21:35
  calmly, confidently initiating something embodying the core
• 21:42
  energy of playful possibility, and see that future version of
• 21:49
  you not needing alcohol or anything else.
• 21:54
  That version of you needs nothing other than yourself.
• 22:02
  That version of you prioritizes play over pressure, choice over
• 22:09
  obligation, excitement over fear.
• 22:15
  Tilt that version of you. One day soon we'll start to
• 22:20
  forget what it was even like to feel that much pressure doing
• 22:27
  something entirely natural that your body already knows how to
• 22:33
  do. So as you leave that place, take
• 22:36
  those changes with you. That's it.
• 22:40
  Breathe in through your nose and out through your nose.
• 22:45
  Just wiggle your fingers, wiggle your toes, connect and calibrate
• 22:50
  into the here and the now as I now count from 1:00 to 10:00 to
• 22:57
  awaken you starting to count 123 waking up 456 more alert 7-8
• 23:08
  open your eyes. Open your eyes 910 Wide awake,
• 23:12
  Wide awake. Wide awake.