Latest / Hurdle with Emily Abbate / Hurdling into Your Power: Dawn Harper-Nelson on Olympic Gold, Motherhood & Building an Emmy-Winning Second Act

Transcript

Hurdling into Your Power: Dawn Harper-Nelson on Olympic Gold, Motherhood & Building an Emmy-Winning Second Act · Hurdle with Emily Abbate

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: When the world is burning and crashing around you, will
• 0:02
  Speaker 1: you still say fight for your dream? Will you still
• 0:05
  Speaker 1: say it's possible? Will you still believe you're a good person?
• 0:08
  Speaker 1: Can you still see the brighter side of tomorrow?
• 0:25
  Speaker 2: What's going on, everyone? Emily Abadi here. You are listening
• 0:29
  Speaker 2: to another episode of Hurdle, a podcast featuring the mindset
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  Speaker 2: secrets and true stories of the most inspiring women in
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  Speaker 2: sports and wellness, empowering you to live a healthier, happier,
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  Speaker 2: more motivated life, and of course, conquer your own hurdles.
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  Speaker 2: This week, I am sitting down with two-time Olympic medalist,
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  Speaker 2: four-time Diamond League champion, and Emmy Award-winning analyst, Dawn Harper Nelson,
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  Speaker 2: and From standing atop the podium in Beijing and London
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  Speaker 2: to navigating devastating fails, career transitions, and the vulnerable leap
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  Speaker 2: into motherhood, Dawn's career is a masterclass in true resilience.
• 1:04
  Speaker 2: In this episode, Dawn and I dive into what it
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  Speaker 2: really takes to find your second mother. We talk about
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  Speaker 2: the work that she's done with Athlos, the all-woman's track meet,
• 1:15
  Speaker 2: and the mindset shifts required to go from being a
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  Speaker 2: fierce competitor on the track to commanding the mic on
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  Speaker 2: the world stage with NBC. We also chat about the
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: raw reality of navigating self-doubt after a major setback and
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: unpack the power of owning your no without guilt, protecting
• 1:34
  Speaker 2: your energy, and building relationships anchored in trust and good intentions.
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  Speaker 2: Whether you're pivoting into a new career chapter or simply
• 1:41
  Speaker 2: learning how to give yourself permission to chase what fulfills you,
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  Speaker 2: Dawn's perspective is the exact dose of motivation you need today.
• 1:51
  Speaker 2: Make sure you're following along with Hurdle over on social.
• 1:53
  Speaker 2: It's over at Hurdle Podcast. You can also check out
• 1:56
  Speaker 2: iHeart Woman Sports over at iHeart Woman Sports and me
• 1:59
  Speaker 2: over at Emily Abadi. Listen to Hurdle with Emily Abadi
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: on the iHeart Radio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you
• 2:06
  Speaker 2: get your podcasts. And with that, let's get to it.
• 2:09
  Speaker 2: Let's get to hurdling. Today, I am sitting down with
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  Speaker 2: Dawn Harper Nelson. She's a two-time Olympic medalist winning gold
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  Speaker 2: in Beijing and silver in London, along with being a
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  Speaker 2: four-time Diamond League champion. Also, an Emmy-winning analyst for her
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  Speaker 2: work during the Paris Olympics on NBC.
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  Speaker 3: Dawn Harper Nelson, welcome to Hurdle. Is that me? Oh
• 2:35
  Speaker 3: my goodness.
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  Speaker 1: I just want to say again. The word hurdle, it
• 2:39
  Speaker 1: was made for me. This podcast was made for me.
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  Speaker 3: Made for you. Good afternoon. Welcome to New York. Yes.
• 2:45
  Speaker 3: Thank you.
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  Speaker 2: You were here just last week. Can you tell me
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  Speaker 2: about that experience?
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  Speaker 3: Because it looked fun.
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  Speaker 1: It was so much fun to really talk about my
• 2:54
  Speaker 1: life experiences, but to do it in an intimate way.
• 2:57
  Speaker 1: And people are like, what does she have to say?
• 2:59
  Speaker 1: There were two different conferences I spoke at, Ad Weekly,
• 3:02
  Speaker 1: Ad Week. And then Wall Street Journal conference that they had.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: So it was me and Alexis Ohanian, the man. And yeah,
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  Speaker 1: talking a lot about obviously Athlos and then just track
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  Speaker 1: and field and the growth and things needed.
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  Speaker 3: And women's sports. So it was fun.
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  Speaker 2: And women's sports. She just like kind of drops the
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  Speaker 2: mic a little bit there. You've been in this really
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  Speaker 2: fun groove of doing so much commentating and also being
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  Speaker 2: such a figurehead when we talk about women's sports as
• 3:32
  Speaker 2: of late. How does it feel to you when I
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  Speaker 2: say figurehead in that context? I can't comprehend it.
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  Speaker 1: It's obviously something, you know, when you're thinking you hope
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  Speaker 1: when you're an athlete that you're leaving your mark and
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  Speaker 1: that people will remember certain things. You make them feel
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  Speaker 1: a certain way about the thing that you're so passionate about.
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  Speaker 1: But now to hear people like, listen, if you say it,
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  Speaker 1: then it must be true.
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  Speaker 3: I'm like, me? Like me?
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  Speaker 1: And they're like, you did it for so many years
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  Speaker 1: to the highest standard. And so it's really just, it's
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  Speaker 1: one of those things like, okay, I did it right. Yeah,
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  Speaker 1: I did it right.
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  Speaker 2: And it's so fun because the legacy goes so much
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  Speaker 2: farther beyond what you did on the track.
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  Speaker 3: And you did a lot on.
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  Speaker 2: The track, I listed off your accolades before we started recording.
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  Speaker 2: So now to have this seat on the other side
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  Speaker 2: of the lane, so to speak, it's a really cool
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  Speaker 2: thing for me as a fan of track and field
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  Speaker 2: to watch and see you do.
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  Speaker 1: No, it's really cool because of course you want to
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  Speaker 1: do some amazing, like jaw dropping, history making, never forget
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  Speaker 1: Dawn Maida, she is the GOAT. But then when you're done,
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  Speaker 1: you're like, wait, I do not want it to stop
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  Speaker 1: there like this. I love track and field. I have
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  Speaker 1: a passion. I thoroughly flows through me through and through.
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  Speaker 1: And I'm like, it can't stop here. I want to
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  Speaker 1: stay connected. I want to continue to help ones that
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  Speaker 1: love it like me thrive in it. The ups and
• 4:48
  Speaker 1: downs that I had, if I can help you from
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  Speaker 1: those downs that I had not have so many. And
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  Speaker 1: so it is awesome to be able to say I'm
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  Speaker 1: in the sport in this capacity. and I'm still one
• 4:57
  Speaker 1: of the faces, that is just crazy.
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  Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I mean, it's really something that is aspirational,
• 5:03
  Speaker 2: to say the least. And you did mention Athlos as...
• 5:07
  Speaker 2: we started this conversation. Talk to me a little bit
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  Speaker 2: about what your role is with Athlos and how it's
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  Speaker 2: been getting involved with those ladies.
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  Speaker 1: My role is constantly evolving with Athlos because I'm going
• 5:18
  Speaker 1: to just say it.
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  Speaker 3: They're realizing your girl is dope.
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  Speaker 1: She's amazing. It's just true because I literally, I remember
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  Speaker 1: the first year it happened. I literally sat on my
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  Speaker 1: couch and I cried because I'm like, I have to
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  Speaker 1: be a part of something so amazing. Like this is
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  Speaker 1: women's sports. Like this is what it's about. This is,
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  Speaker 1: this is what we prayed for. And it's finally here.
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  Speaker 1: And I sent a message email and they're like, yes,
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  Speaker 1: we want to have you in some capacity.
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  Speaker 3: We'll see.
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  Speaker 1: And you know, they got to know me a little
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  Speaker 1: bit and they're like, wait, your personality, you need to
• 5:47
  Speaker 1: MC the long jump that will be at Times Square.
• 5:51
  Speaker 1: This happened last October in 2025. What are we talking about?
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  Speaker 1: Times Square, a portion of it was shut down And
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  Speaker 1: I was able to put it on the stage, help
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  Speaker 1: everyone hear and understand how amazing track and field was.
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  Speaker 1: Tara Davis Woodhawk was there. I mean, we had everyone.
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  Speaker 1: It was just amazing. So the fans, literally, they could
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  Speaker 1: almost touch the athletes. So they got to really get
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  Speaker 1: a glimpse into the world of.
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  Speaker 3: Oh, this is crazy.
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  Speaker 1: And they're doing it again and again and again. So,
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  Speaker 1: and then now this year I'm going to be broadcasting.
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  Speaker 1: So I'll be broadcasting in London and I'll still be
• 6:24
  Speaker 1: emceeing the long jump.
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  Speaker 3: So girl, what's happening?
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  Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, this is so exciting. And I can,
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  Speaker 2: I can feel your excitement, but also I agree with
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  Speaker 2: you that when you hear about something that is uplifting
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  Speaker 2: women in this way, as not only a fan of
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  Speaker 2: the sport, but as a proud woman, you want to
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  Speaker 2: get involved.
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  Speaker 3: Yes.
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  Speaker 1: You feel like you have to. I mean, especially this
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  Speaker 1: is my sport. I'm like, I have, there's no way,
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  Speaker 1: even if they weren't, I'm like, I'm flying out. I
• 6:49
  Speaker 1: just got to be in the stands. I have to
• 6:50
  Speaker 1: be there to experience it. Everyone said it was a vibe.
• 6:53
  Speaker 1: But it was the energy about it. And I'm like,
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  Speaker 1: I want to contribute to that energy.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And you have a lot of energy to contribute, to
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  Speaker 2: say the least.
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  Speaker 3: It's really cool.
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  Speaker 2: And also, it is so cool now to see how
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  Speaker 2: far track and field has come since you won gold
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  Speaker 2: in 2008.
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  Speaker 1: It's crazy because being a fan of, from when I
• 7:14
  Speaker 1: was a kid, Jackie Joyner-Cursey is my mentor.
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  Speaker 3: Like, love her through and through. Gail Devers.
• 7:19
  Speaker 1: I mean, the list goes on and on. Valerie Briscoe Hooks.
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  Speaker 1: when they were winning, they had times when they would
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  Speaker 1: win cars, a diamond.
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  Speaker 3: I'm like, wait, okay.
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  Speaker 1: And then it's like the sport went through, yes. And
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  Speaker 1: then it went through this lull and it was just
• 7:34
  Speaker 1: in a tough spot. But everyone was saying, it's such
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  Speaker 1: an amazing sport.
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  Speaker 3: Why, why, why?
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  Speaker 1: When every four years, besides gymnastics, it's the pinnacle. It's
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  Speaker 1: the thing that people are going to stop what they're
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  Speaker 1: doing and they're going to watch. And so to see
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  Speaker 1: it coming back up, kind of being on that main stage,
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  Speaker 1: you know, with faces and names of Shakari, you know, Richardson,
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  Speaker 1: you know, Gabby, it's, It's just like the perfect time.
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  Speaker 1: It's like this spark has been lit and we're not
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  Speaker 1: going to let it go back out.
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  Speaker 2: I asked TT Terry this earlier and I'm going to
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  Speaker 2: ask you this now. Why do you think that it
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  Speaker 2: is that in this climate where we're seeing a massive
• 8:06
  Speaker 2: running boom, we are seeing more people running than ever
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  Speaker 2: and we're not necessarily seeing those people convert over to
• 8:15
  Speaker 2: track and field fans?
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  Speaker 3: Why do we think there's that disconnect?
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  Speaker 1: Oh, I think some of it we're, some of it
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  Speaker 1: maybe we're not making it as appealing because Some of
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  Speaker 1: the events are so fast. They're like, I don't even
• 8:27
  Speaker 1: know who that person is. That was cute. That was,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: but I don't like, and they're also like, I can't
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  Speaker 1: do it. And I don't know them. I don't need it.
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  Speaker 1: And you're not, it's like they're running, but many of
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: them that are running, they're doing marathons and different things.
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  Speaker 1: So if you're talking to someone that's doing a mile
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  Speaker 1: in for something like that's cool, but I still can't
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  Speaker 1: connect with that because I can never do that. Or
• 8:46
  Speaker 1: someone that's doing a race that hurdles 12 seconds. Well,
• 8:48
  Speaker 1: that's just unheard of.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 8:50
  Speaker 1: And so I think that was a little bit of
• 8:52
  Speaker 1: the disconnect that we're having. But it's going to be
• 8:54
  Speaker 1: the storytelling, them understanding, oh, my goodness, they actually are
• 8:58
  Speaker 1: nervous and they don't know if they can chase their dream, too.
• 9:01
  Speaker 1: And if they're on the main stage doing it, well,
• 9:03
  Speaker 1: I can do mine that's so-called not on the main stage, right?
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  Speaker 1: I'm at work and I'm wondering, I got this goal
• 9:09
  Speaker 1: that I have. I don't know if I can't wait.
• 9:11
  Speaker 1: This person, 12 seconds, they're putting it on the line.
• 9:14
  Speaker 1: making that kind of connection between the two. So it's
• 9:16
  Speaker 1: going to be the storytelling.
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  Speaker 3: Yeah.
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  Speaker 2: And so much storytelling happened around your outstanding athletic career.
• 9:23
  Speaker 2: I had the opportunity to chat with you fully, really,
• 9:27
  Speaker 2: for the last time, almost 10 years ago when I
• 9:28
  Speaker 2: was at Self Magazine before. the 2016 Olympics, which feels
• 9:32
  Speaker 2: like a different era.
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  Speaker 3: It was. It is. It is.
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  Speaker 2: And you told me this insane story that I literally
• 9:39
  Speaker 2: revisit so often. And the through line was that you
• 9:43
  Speaker 2: don't work hard for things not to go as you'd hoped,
• 9:46
  Speaker 2: but then you have the opportunity to learn from it
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  Speaker 2: and then choose how you're going to move forward. You
• 9:52
  Speaker 2: were talking about the hurdles at the Beijing World Championships.
• 9:55
  Speaker 3: Talk to me a little bit about that moment for you.
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  Speaker 3: You mean the one where I ended up on the ground?
• 10:00
  Speaker 3: The one where you ended up on the ground. I
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: was like this.
• 10:03
  Speaker 1: There's a picture and it just, I pull it out
• 10:05
  Speaker 1: all the time when I have to do speaking engagements
• 10:07
  Speaker 1: because when you see me now, I say, you see
• 10:09
  Speaker 1: the end product. You see me like, this is so great.
• 10:11
  Speaker 1: I can, the life that I've lived, the career has
• 10:13
  Speaker 1: been so amazing.
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: Pause.
• 10:15
  Speaker 1: It was those moments where I literally was like, there
• 10:17
  Speaker 1: is no way This is happening. And also, I can't
• 10:21
  Speaker 1: even see it tomorrow. I am so devastated. Like, I just,
• 10:25
  Speaker 1: how am I supposed to get up tomorrow? How am
• 10:26
  Speaker 1: I supposed to?
• 10:27
  Speaker 3: How? How?
• 10:28
  Speaker 1: Like, you just, and you know how, but you're really like,
• 10:30
  Speaker 1: maybe I don't because how got me here. And what
• 10:33
  Speaker 1: it was, was I was one of the favorites to
• 10:34
  Speaker 1: win in Beijing. And the second hurdle, I was moving.
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Okay. I was ready to go do something special. You
• 10:41
  Speaker 3: had a great start. Great start. Training had been going great.
• 10:44
  Speaker 3: Everything was going great. It was clicking. Clicking.
• 10:46
  Speaker 1: And before I realized it, I literally was on the
• 10:48
  Speaker 1: ground looking up at the sky. And so now the
• 10:50
  Speaker 1: favorite is on the ground. How do you recover from that?
• 10:54
  Speaker 1: Because as you said that I said, you do not
• 10:56
  Speaker 1: put in that type of work to have it not
• 10:58
  Speaker 1: come true. In so many ways, you don't think of
• 11:00
  Speaker 1: the other side of it. You can't let that seep
• 11:02
  Speaker 1: in if it doesn't work out. Well, if I did
• 11:05
  Speaker 1: not think about that, I'm not prepared for this moment.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: This is, oh my God, someone helped me get out
• 11:10
  Speaker 1: of this. How do I escape? Well, you can't escape it.
• 11:14
  Speaker 1: And the hard reality is, And it's one of those
• 11:16
  Speaker 1: blessings and a curse. It can slash, it's going to happen, right?
• 11:22
  Speaker 1: And I also feel like it's something that needs to
• 11:24
  Speaker 1: happen to everyone because one, you will realize, oh, I'm
• 11:28
  Speaker 1: stronger than I ever thought I was. Like winning is
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: real cool. You look real nice on top of the podium. Oh,
• 11:34
  Speaker 1: this is like, you know, I have such integrity and
• 11:37
  Speaker 1: I am, yes. Oh, everyone fight for your dream. This
• 11:40
  Speaker 1: is what it's about.
• 11:40
  Speaker 3: No, no.
• 11:41
  Speaker 1: When the world is burning and crashing around you, will
• 11:44
  Speaker 1: you still say fight for your dream? Will you still
• 11:46
  Speaker 1: say it's possible? Will you still believe you're a good person?
• 11:50
  Speaker 1: Can you still see the brighter side of tomorrow? And
• 11:53
  Speaker 1: in that moment, of course, I cried and hollered and
• 11:55
  Speaker 1: was sad. But that next day, I realized there's still
• 11:58
  Speaker 1: more work to be done. What happened? Let's learn from
• 12:01
  Speaker 1: it because that cannot happen again. Let's learn from it.
• 12:04
  Speaker 1: But girl, you were cold mama jamma because you were
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: the favorite and you got up and you have a
• 12:08
  Speaker 1: smile on your face the next day.
• 12:09
  Speaker 2: What does learning from a moment like that look like
• 12:13
  Speaker 2: in practice? Because you can say you need to learn
• 12:17
  Speaker 2: from it, but everyone has a different process in what
• 12:20
  Speaker 2: that learning process looks like.
• 12:22
  Speaker 1: So one thing I really appreciated that Bobby Kersey did
• 12:25
  Speaker 1: to prepare us for moments that like you only get
• 12:27
  Speaker 1: one shot. That is hard to really replicate.
• 12:30
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 12:31
  Speaker 1: Well, we would have moments at practice where he would
• 12:32
  Speaker 1: tell us, say on a Thursday, you have one rep.
• 12:36
  Speaker 1: Be ready at 10 o'clock. Your race, the gun goes
• 12:39
  Speaker 1: off at 10. So we have no practice on Tuesday.
• 12:42
  Speaker 1: He told us, no practice on Wednesday. He told us
• 12:44
  Speaker 1: this on Tuesday. So since Tuesday till Thursday, the nerves
• 12:48
  Speaker 1: are going. I'm like, oh my goodness. I'm like, oh
• 12:50
  Speaker 1: my goodness. I only have one shot at one shot.
• 12:52
  Speaker 1: 10 o'clock. He comes around the corner at 9.59 and
• 12:55
  Speaker 1: he says, runners on your mark because 10 o'clock hits.
• 12:58
  Speaker 1: When that gun goes off, no matter how it goes,
• 13:01
  Speaker 1: that's the result. You can do nothing about it until Friday, okay?
• 13:07
  Speaker 1: And there's so many, nine times out of 10, 9.999.
• 13:11
  Speaker 3: It went great.
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: I would have a practice or two where it didn't
• 13:13
  Speaker 1: go well and you're sick to your stomach because I'm
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: making it real. And I'm telling myself, I just lost
• 13:19
  Speaker 1: the Olympics. I just lost worlds. Like if that happens,
• 13:23
  Speaker 1: like how am I gonna, what do I, what do I?
• 13:25
  Speaker 1: And so you get a glimpse of that. So for me, that's,
• 13:27
  Speaker 1: I was blessed enough to be in a situation where
• 13:29
  Speaker 1: a coach understood, I need you to understand the gravity
• 13:32
  Speaker 1: of what you're chasing. And if it doesn't work, Is
• 13:35
  Speaker 1: it because you didn't do all the things? Is it
• 13:37
  Speaker 1: because you, is it, is it? Okay, if you can
• 13:39
  Speaker 1: scratch off all those, well, if it doesn't happen, then sweetie,
• 13:41
  Speaker 1: it just wasn't meant to be that day.
• 13:43
  Speaker 2: It just wasn't meant to be that day. It's you
• 13:46
  Speaker 2: giving the best you have at any given moment, right?
• 13:49
  Speaker 2: And if you're striving for perfection, then you're striving for
• 13:53
  Speaker 2: the wrong thing, right? Because you are seeking something that
• 13:57
  Speaker 2: might not meet you in your moment. If you're so
• 13:59
  Speaker 2: dialed in to this needs to be a certain way
• 14:02
  Speaker 2: and it needs to go like this and this and
• 14:03
  Speaker 2: this and this, then you're going to get caught up.
• 14:06
  Speaker 3: You are.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: I mean, but isn't that kind of how we live life?
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: Like so many of us do that, right? We've written out, okay,
• 14:11
  Speaker 1: so I'm going to do this by this age. I'm
• 14:12
  Speaker 1: going to do this by this.
• 14:14
  Speaker 3: And then it doesn't. And you're like, but so is
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: it not going to happen? It's like, whoa, it's not
• 14:18
  Speaker 3: going to happen.
• 14:18
  Speaker 1: Maybe you weren't ready for the moment. Maybe just like
• 14:21
  Speaker 1: it's how many people have done this at this age?
• 14:23
  Speaker 1: And then you start to hear more stories and you
• 14:26
  Speaker 1: realize like, oh, I didn't really understand all that kind
• 14:29
  Speaker 1: of went into it.
• 14:30
  Speaker 3: I just I kind of just wrote it down because
• 14:31
  Speaker 3: it was cute. You know what I mean?
• 14:32
  Speaker 1: Just all the things. And so it's just, it teaches
• 14:34
  Speaker 1: you so much of life. That's another thing. And I
• 14:36
  Speaker 1: know I'm kind of curving. I love about sports. Like
• 14:39
  Speaker 1: for just our young athletes, it teaches you about life. You,
• 14:42
  Speaker 1: when I'm talking about you get, you go out there,
• 14:44
  Speaker 1: you want to show up after you got fifth grade.
• 14:46
  Speaker 1: And then you got fifth again. And you got fifth
• 14:48
  Speaker 1: because you last time I checked, you said you were
• 14:49
  Speaker 1: the best. Well, the world, you're going to go out
• 14:52
  Speaker 1: there and someone's going to tell you, no, you're not.
• 14:54
  Speaker 1: You're like, well, I got fifth when I was in
• 14:55
  Speaker 1: fifth grade.
• 14:56
  Speaker 3: So I'm OK.
• 14:57
  Speaker 1: You know, it just teaches you just that resilience that
• 14:59
  Speaker 1: you have to have.
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: Every day in life. Yeah.
• 15:02
  Speaker 2: That resilience that carried you through a long career as
• 15:07
  Speaker 2: an athlete, you learned. went away for a little bit.
• 15:11
  Speaker 2: That sounds so sad and scary.
• 15:13
  Speaker 3: I got lost.
• 15:14
  Speaker 2: You took a little break to start a family and
• 15:18
  Speaker 2: then had quite the comeback. Talk to me a little
• 15:21
  Speaker 2: bit about what was going through your head at first
• 15:24
  Speaker 2: when you made the decision, all right, I'm going to
• 15:26
  Speaker 2: step aside for a little bit and focus on this
• 15:28
  Speaker 2: aspect of my life.
• 15:29
  Speaker 1: I had never felt the pull of anything else stronger
• 15:32
  Speaker 1: than track and field. Track and field, it guided my life.
• 15:35
  Speaker 1: All sacrifices was to be on top of the podium
• 15:38
  Speaker 1: to be the best Dawn I could be when I
• 15:40
  Speaker 1: went over the hurdles.
• 15:41
  Speaker 3: And the first time I was like, I want to
• 15:44
  Speaker 3: be somebody's mom.
• 15:44
  Speaker 1: Like I knew literally when I was a kid, I said,
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: I want to be Olympic champion, a wife and a mom.
• 15:48
  Speaker 3: Those were the three things. And that's wild. It is.
• 15:52
  Speaker 2: To be like, you know what I want to be
• 15:53
  Speaker 2: when I grow up?
• 15:54
  Speaker 3: An Olympic champion. It is. Where does that come from?
• 15:57
  Speaker 1: I think one of the things that it comes from
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: is I'm from East St. Louis and we say we're
• 16:03
  Speaker 1: the city of champions. And in the city, we truly
• 16:06
  Speaker 1: believe that. Outside, you may feel different things and, oh,
• 16:09
  Speaker 1: this and that comes from there.
• 16:10
  Speaker 3: No, we're a little delusional. We're like, no, I am
• 16:12
  Speaker 3: the cream. I'm the creme de la creme. Like, that's
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: just how we feel about it.
• 16:16
  Speaker 1: And so when I was realizing that I had talent,
• 16:20
  Speaker 1: because now one thing that they're going to let you
• 16:22
  Speaker 1: know is, that's cute that you want to go to Olympics,
• 16:23
  Speaker 1: but it's hard work. So we're the city of champions,
• 16:26
  Speaker 1: but that's hard work. So we're not, we don't give
• 16:27
  Speaker 1: you the fluff in East St.
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: Louis.
• 16:29
  Speaker 1: And so I was very aware that it's going to
• 16:31
  Speaker 1: be hard work, but I'm like, I want to go
• 16:34
  Speaker 1: to the top. Now, this wasn't until really maybe senior
• 16:37
  Speaker 1: year where I said, like, okay, that's what I want
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: to do. Ninth grade, when I won state, I'm like, okay,
• 16:42
  Speaker 1: I'm actually really good.
• 16:43
  Speaker 3: That's crazy.
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: But, you know, like the Olympics. And then my senior year,
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I'm actually real good. Like, can I go
• 16:50
  Speaker 1: and win the Olympics? College shook me up because I
• 16:53
  Speaker 1: say this, everybody and their mama was fast. Like, every
• 16:56
  Speaker 1: state champ was like at UCLA. And that changed your
• 17:01
  Speaker 1: perspective because you're like, oh, It's one thing to say, oh,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: I know I'm going to go against the best.
• 17:06
  Speaker 3: I'm seeing them every day. That is daunting.
• 17:09
  Speaker 1: Yeah. To be like, I'm going to go back and like,
• 17:11
  Speaker 1: I'm going to cross the line with like three people
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: again and again and again and again and again. So,
• 17:16
  Speaker 1: but being where I'm from, we were taught that's what
• 17:19
  Speaker 1: it could look like. Are you up for the challenge
• 17:21
  Speaker 1: every single day? That's what an Olympian has to deal with.
• 17:24
  Speaker 2: So you knew you wanted to be an Olympic champion,
• 17:27
  Speaker 2: a wife and a mother.
• 17:28
  Speaker 1: Yes. I, for some reason, I don't, that's, I know
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: as a kid, who says that?
• 17:32
  Speaker 3: I mean, I love that for you. Yes. Well, I mean,
• 17:35
  Speaker 3: and then like all three happened. What are we talking about?
• 17:37
  Speaker 3: She manifested. I manifested.
• 17:39
  Speaker 1: And so, you know, I knew that I wanted to
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: be those things and the Olympics was owning my life.
• 17:44
  Speaker 1: And then I would never forget. I just was like,
• 17:46
  Speaker 1: I want to be a mom. And it just, that
• 17:48
  Speaker 1: voice in the pool was just bigger and bigger. And
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: it was weird because I was still ranked like one
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: top three in the world. How do you walk away
• 17:57
  Speaker 1: from that? And I remember my agent, he literally goes, yeah, no, that's,
• 18:00
  Speaker 1: this is just not a good time. And I was like,
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: I hear what you're saying, but I'm doing it. So
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: it was just the reality because the thing is, is
• 18:08
  Speaker 1: if I don't do this for myself, when I do
• 18:10
  Speaker 1: finish this sport, You're not going to have the answer
• 18:13
  Speaker 1: for me.
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: Me and my husband, we've talked about this.
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: How am I going to explain, like, I had this pull,
• 18:17
  Speaker 1: but I didn't because track kept controlling me. And it
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: was a hard conversation to have with other people in
• 18:22
  Speaker 1: my life. You know, my coach understood, Bobby Kersey. He's like,
• 18:25
  Speaker 1: I get it. You know, go have your life. But
• 18:28
  Speaker 1: the other people that were kind of like, you're making
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: this money.
• 18:31
  Speaker 3: We're doing good.
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: You know, if we're just being honest, they're like, no, no, no.
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: When you're on top, women... Don't walk away. Because, you know,
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: you just never know. You're on borrowed time. And I
• 18:41
  Speaker 1: decided to walk away.
• 18:42
  Speaker 3: I know. Borrowed time. I know. Ew. It is an ew.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: It is an ew.
• 18:47
  Speaker 1: So this is the crazy part about saying that. In sports,
• 18:51
  Speaker 1: in the back of your mind, though... you're kind of like,
• 18:54
  Speaker 1: I'm on borrowed time.
• 18:55
  Speaker 3: Yeah.
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: Because it's, no, it sucks because you're like, look, that's,
• 18:58
  Speaker 1: you're almost trying to outrun borrowed time. That's why you
• 19:00
  Speaker 1: work as hard as you are because until that day,
• 19:03
  Speaker 1: until my dying day, I'm going to give everything I have.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: Right. Because I'm on borrowed time. Do we act like these.
• 19:08
  Speaker 1: Bones and these Achilles and these hamstrings are not going
• 19:11
  Speaker 1: to do what they did at 21.
• 19:13
  Speaker 3: And so you're kind of on borrowed time.
• 19:15
  Speaker 1: But for me, I eventually chose To embrace that borrowed time.
• 19:19
  Speaker 1: And so that's why I'm so happy that I'm doing
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: what I'm doing now.
• 19:22
  Speaker 3: Yeah. Because I'm like, this borrowed time is nice. This
• 19:24
  Speaker 3: is nice.
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: But so I go decide to have my daughter. And
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: when I had her, I was like, oh, do I
• 19:31
  Speaker 1: still love track?
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: Like, is it?
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: Then that pull was still there. I never lost the love, obviously.
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: But I'm like, do I want to? And when I
• 19:39
  Speaker 1: said I wanted to come back, like, I didn't expect.
• 19:42
  Speaker 3: The.
• 19:43
  Speaker 1: I don't know, acceptance is the word that pops. I
• 19:45
  Speaker 1: just thought people were going to be like, oh, what
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: is she doing? Like, you walked away.
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: They were like, we like to do it, do it,
• 19:49
  Speaker 3: do it. I'm like.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: you guys still love me? Like I could do this?
• 19:53
  Speaker 1: And the training was hard because this is a new body.
• 19:57
  Speaker 3: Who is this?
• 19:58
  Speaker 1: Like I know this body inside and out. I don't
• 20:00
  Speaker 1: know this person anymore. And so that was a big
• 20:03
  Speaker 1: challenge with that. But I mean, I stepped away because
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: I had never felt a pool outside of track that big.
• 20:24
  Speaker 2: Was performing at such a high level after having your
• 20:29
  Speaker 2: first daughter a different type of feeling than it was before?
• 20:34
  Speaker 3: Oh, it was.
• 20:35
  Speaker 1: And that was so weird because I didn't. know that
• 20:39
  Speaker 1: it could feel that way. I'm like, you know, you're
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: back out there. It's like, this is what matters. And
• 20:42
  Speaker 1: you're like, I mean, yeah, but like tomorrow we have
• 20:44
  Speaker 1: to go to the, you know what I mean?
• 20:46
  Speaker 3: It was like going to daycare.
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: And then we got, I just, I never had other
• 20:49
  Speaker 1: thoughts that I had to, my brain never had to
• 20:51
  Speaker 1: share space with anything else but track and field. And
• 20:55
  Speaker 1: then I will be at a track meet and she's
• 20:57
  Speaker 1: in the stands and you're like, okay, so if this
• 21:01
  Speaker 1: actually goes good or bad, I'm okay. Yeah.
• 21:03
  Speaker 3: I never had that feeling.
• 21:05
  Speaker 1: One thing that Bobby Kersey told me because I took
• 21:07
  Speaker 1: my losses hard, they felt like deaths. And after I
• 21:12
  Speaker 1: won the Olympics the next year, I was undefeated, running great.
• 21:15
  Speaker 1: And world championships hit the second hurdle. And the way
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: that I cried and mourned, he just came to me
• 21:23
  Speaker 1: very soft. And he's like, if you take your losses
• 21:26
  Speaker 1: this hard, you will never make it in this sport.
• 21:29
  Speaker 1: And it wasn't that I never took my highs too
• 21:31
  Speaker 1: high because in a sense, I'm grinding. I know tomorrow
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: could be somebody else's day. So I was never like, yeah,
• 21:36
  Speaker 1: I won. That was never me. But my losses, I
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: don't know. To this day, I still don't know why
• 21:42
  Speaker 1: I would feel like it was like failure. I mean,
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: true failure. Like I let the world down. And it
• 21:49
  Speaker 1: was like, girl, no.
• 21:49
  Speaker 3: One's saying your family still want to love you.
• 21:52
  Speaker 1: And that's at UCLA was actually when I talked to
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: a therapist and she put it in perspective and it
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: didn't click until later. And she said, I just want
• 22:00
  Speaker 1: to ask you, so if you do lose, what is
• 22:02
  Speaker 1: the worst thing that's going to happen? And I was like, well,
• 22:06
  Speaker 1: and I'm thinking, and she said, because by your standards,
• 22:08
  Speaker 1: earlier I asked you, what's most important to you?
• 22:10
  Speaker 3: Where are your values? And I said, family, you know, friends.
• 22:13
  Speaker 3: And I named things. I'm like, God.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: She said, what will change in those things if you lose?
• 22:17
  Speaker 1: And I was like, well, nothing. She said, so by
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: your standards, your world will not change if you lose.
• 22:22
  Speaker 1: And so later on, when Bobby was talking, I'm.
• 22:24
  Speaker 3: Like, you're right. It makes sense. You know, putting it
• 22:27
  Speaker 3: all together. But it took time. It took time.
• 22:29
  Speaker 2: And again, it's a lesson that you learn during the
• 22:33
  Speaker 2: difficult moments. You don't learn this from accomplishing absolutely everything
• 22:38
  Speaker 2: that's ever been on your vision board. You learn it
• 22:40
  Speaker 2: from the moments where you're breaking down and you're questioning
• 22:43
  Speaker 2: absolutely everything.
• 22:44
  Speaker 3: That's how it happens.
• 22:45
  Speaker 1: It's really the moments that you learn outside of being
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: on top of the Olympic podium.
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: Yeah. You can't learn it there. You can't learn it there.
• 22:52
  Speaker 3: You cannot. But you think you can.
• 22:53
  Speaker 1: You think like, oh, I've learned so many life lessons
• 22:55
  Speaker 1: and I've experienced so much. And you're like, you have,
• 22:57
  Speaker 1: you have, but have you felt this? And then it just,
• 23:01
  Speaker 1: it just takes literally, literally.
• 23:04
  Speaker 3: Literally a slap.
• 23:05
  Speaker 2: And so for you coming back and having this chapter,
• 23:09
  Speaker 2: It is something that we are also seeing a lot
• 23:12
  Speaker 2: right now within track and field.
• 23:14
  Speaker 3: Let's chat about that. Just a little bit.
• 23:17
  Speaker 1: Just on this other side of life, how everyone is
• 23:20
  Speaker 1: kind of finding their second scene, their next scene in life.
• 23:24
  Speaker 3: Second act. Their second act. Yes. I think we were
• 23:31
  Speaker 3: in sports for me.
• 23:33
  Speaker 1: I was told if you want to be great, that
• 23:36
  Speaker 1: is the only thing you care about and the only
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: thing you do. And that's what's going to get you
• 23:40
  Speaker 1: to be great. If you do an ounce of anything else,
• 23:42
  Speaker 1: you're taken away from the thing you really love. Can
• 23:44
  Speaker 1: you really be great if a thousand percent of you
• 23:46
  Speaker 1: isn't into the one thing?
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, you're right. I can't. People would ask me,
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: do you want to do that? I'm like, no, no, no, no.
• 23:53
  Speaker 3: I have to do this.
• 23:54
  Speaker 1: Well, but then that turns into, oh, shoot, the end
• 23:57
  Speaker 1: of this first act is coming. And I have not
• 23:59
  Speaker 1: thought of the second.
• 24:01
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm. And that's how I lived.
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: And I had moments where I told my husband, like,
• 24:05
  Speaker 1: I think I might've messed myself up because I didn't
• 24:07
  Speaker 1: think of this, the next thing. And, and he's like, no,
• 24:10
  Speaker 1: for you, what you said, what you needed to be
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: great was how you lived your life.
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, but I will say this.
• 24:18
  Speaker 1: I've always tried to say that I want to make relationships,
• 24:21
  Speaker 1: be good to people, understand I'm not better than anybody
• 24:24
  Speaker 1: else in the sense of, you know, off the track
• 24:26
  Speaker 1: and you know, you're just better than someone else. Um,
• 24:30
  Speaker 1: That served me so well because when I was done,
• 24:33
  Speaker 1: the things that I did, people were like, you held
• 24:36
  Speaker 1: yourself to such a standard. Would you want to do this?
• 24:39
  Speaker 1: Do you want it?
• 24:39
  Speaker 3: I'm like, there's no way. Are you serious?
• 24:42
  Speaker 1: And so I think many of us that are finding
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: this second act is because of how we lived our
• 24:46
  Speaker 1: lives in the first one. The standards that we held
• 24:49
  Speaker 1: ourselves to, we realize in this second part, I'm going
• 24:52
  Speaker 1: to remain the same. The standard, if you hire me
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: to do a job, okay. it's going to be the
• 24:57
  Speaker 1: best job you've ever seen. I mean, seriously, you know,
• 24:59
  Speaker 1: I'm going to bring the passion and the, you know,
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: the experience and all those things. And I just, it's
• 25:05
  Speaker 1: been great to really learn that who you were in
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: the first act is worthy and has prepared you for
• 25:11
  Speaker 1: the second.
• 25:12
  Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so true. And so many women that I know,
• 25:15
  Speaker 2: I'm in my late 30s right now. And so I
• 25:18
  Speaker 2: know so many women that are literally completely pivoting entirely
• 25:23
  Speaker 2: in this moment. And I think it's because In order
• 25:25
  Speaker 2: to be her, you need to see her. And we
• 25:27
  Speaker 2: see that because so many other individuals are putting themselves
• 25:31
  Speaker 2: out there and they're saying, I was doing this thing
• 25:33
  Speaker 2: and either I'm done with it, I feel fulfilled, I
• 25:36
  Speaker 2: can move on to the next thing or that thing
• 25:38
  Speaker 2: isn't feeling good anymore.
• 25:40
  Speaker 3: And I'm willing to say, I'm starting over.
• 25:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 25:43
  Speaker 2: And how valuable is that just to see someone else
• 25:46
  Speaker 2: and almost like look to them and see it as
• 25:49
  Speaker 2: permission to do the same.
• 25:51
  Speaker 3: Permission is a really good word.
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: And I think another thing that we're also starting to
• 25:55
  Speaker 1: realize when they're sharing their story, you know, you hear
• 25:57
  Speaker 1: them eventually start to say like, I'm just, I'm comfortable
• 26:00
  Speaker 1: with who I am. You know, when you turn into,
• 26:02
  Speaker 1: when you get in your thirties, you start to feel
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: this way about yourself. And then your forties, almost that
• 26:06
  Speaker 1: to a lack of better words, like that more carelessness
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: about what others say that and permission from others. So
• 26:13
  Speaker 1: when you see someone doing that, I just have my
• 26:15
  Speaker 1: own permission. I don't care. And you're like, that is
• 26:17
  Speaker 1: giving me permission to not care. It is a real thing.
• 26:21
  Speaker 1: The way that I walk now is I'm confident in, yeah,
• 26:27
  Speaker 1: I'm that chick. But back then it was a little
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: bit of like, we're humble.
• 26:32
  Speaker 3: And it's like, well, when you.
• 26:34
  Speaker 1: Were being humbled, if you walked around knowing who you were,
• 26:37
  Speaker 1: that didn't mean that you were looking down on anyone.
• 26:39
  Speaker 1: And so now I just, I know what my values are.
• 26:42
  Speaker 1: I know what I will and will not do. And
• 26:45
  Speaker 1: if you disagree with that, that is okay because I'm
• 26:47
  Speaker 1: very clear that this is my life and not yours.
• 26:50
  Speaker 1: And so when you see someone else, another woman doing
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: this in their 40s, in their 50s, and I mean,
• 26:55
  Speaker 1: they're full on, like you can see that genuine smile.
• 26:58
  Speaker 3: You're like, oh, she figured something out and I want
• 27:02
  Speaker 3: some of that. Yeah.
• 27:04
  Speaker 2: And that opportunity to figure out who you are. I
• 27:08
  Speaker 2: think when you are younger, it almost feels extremely daunting.
• 27:14
  Speaker 2: And the older I get, the more that I indeed
• 27:17
  Speaker 2: view it as that as an opportunity. It's like, Oh,
• 27:20
  Speaker 2: I get to spend this time with myself. How cool
• 27:23
  Speaker 2: is it that I get to take myself to dinner?
• 27:25
  Speaker 2: How cool is it that I get to spend my
• 27:28
  Speaker 2: own money that I earned and do this thing, right? And,
• 27:31
  Speaker 2: you know, there are so many schools of thought on this,
• 27:33
  Speaker 2: but especially as a single woman in her late 30s,
• 27:36
  Speaker 2: I'm like, wow, I only get to do this for
• 27:39
  Speaker 2: so much longer.
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: And am I excited for the next chapter?
• 27:43
  Speaker 2: Course I'm excited for the next chapter and how cool
• 27:46
  Speaker 2: is it that I get to be in this one
• 27:47
  Speaker 2: right now.
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: Oh yes.
• 27:48
  Speaker 1: And, and then, you know, thinking of the next chapter,
• 27:50
  Speaker 1: cause you said, you know, you know, one day in
• 27:52
  Speaker 1: life and I'll be coming to your wedding and stuff, right?
• 27:55
  Speaker 3: And I.
• 27:57
  Speaker 1: Appreciate being with someone, my husband, who is very clear.
• 28:01
  Speaker 1: I need you and want you to know who you
• 28:03
  Speaker 1: are and do all the things that pleases your heart.
• 28:06
  Speaker 1: Because when I finally said I wanted to be done
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: with track and field, Had a sat down, had a
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: conversation and we talked. I'm like, oh, this year, I
• 28:12
  Speaker 1: know this year I want to be done. He's like, yes.
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: And he always said to me, I just need you
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: to be sure because I could never fill that space
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: for you.
• 28:19
  Speaker 3: He said, do not quit track for me, for the kids.
• 28:23
  Speaker 3: Do not. He's like, run until you just fall out.
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: And so I'm like, OK. And I was going to retire.
• 28:30
  Speaker 1: And then I told him I realized I wanted to
• 28:32
  Speaker 1: run another year. And I remember being like, oh, my God,
• 28:36
  Speaker 1: I told him this. And I'm like, I'm really going
• 28:38
  Speaker 1: to test the marriage because we lived apart for six years,
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: the first six years of our marriage.
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: And so I told him I'm moving home. Tell me
• 28:45
  Speaker 3: about that.
• 28:46
  Speaker 2: Girl, I'm like, let's get comfy on this couch.
• 28:50
  Speaker 3: Yeah. First six years of our marriage, I lived in
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: California and he lived in Illinois. Okay. And so Illinois
• 28:56
  Speaker 3: is where we're from. He had a good job and
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: all these things.
• 28:58
  Speaker 1: So I'm like, why, you know, uproot yourself when I
• 29:00
  Speaker 1: know when I'm done with track and field, I'm moving home.
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: You have to be with someone that understands you. Truly
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: the dream you're chasing, because the dream I was chasing
• 29:10
  Speaker 1: required me to be extremely selfish at times. And I'm
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: talking about selfish where other people would tell him, you're
• 29:16
  Speaker 1: going to let her do that.
• 29:17
  Speaker 3: He said, whoa, whoa, let.
• 29:18
  Speaker 1: He was like, that's first of all, that's an aggressive
• 29:20
  Speaker 1: and crazy word. But he was like, no, that's why
• 29:22
  Speaker 1: she's my wife and not yours. That just point blank period.
• 29:25
  Speaker 1: We're going to stop that there. You don't have any
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: more say. You can't come to me and I'm not
• 29:29
  Speaker 1: going to entertain you. this foolish conversation. Because what you're
• 29:31
  Speaker 1: going to say is going to seep into my head.
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: We are happy with where we are. I trust her.
• 29:36
  Speaker 1: She trusts me.
• 29:36
  Speaker 3: And we have a plan.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: Yeah. Point blank period, right? But then they see me
• 29:40
  Speaker 1: on TV and they're like, oh, she's just traveling. He's like, hey, hey, hey, again.
• 29:44
  Speaker 1: You have to be with someone that understands you. He
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: knew where my heart was. And he said, if she
• 29:48
  Speaker 1: comes home, she won't be happy. I want a happy wife.
• 29:51
  Speaker 1: And when I decided to try and be retired, I
• 29:54
  Speaker 1: realized I was like, I'm not done. I wanted one
• 29:56
  Speaker 1: more year. And I went to him and I'm like, okay,
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: this is the test. This is the, you know, I mean,
• 30:01
  Speaker 1: I'm asking for a 70. This is a test. And
• 30:05
  Speaker 1: I say it and he goes, I knew. He was like,
• 30:07
  Speaker 1: I saw it in you. He's like, I knew you
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: weren't done. He's like, I was just waiting for you
• 30:10
  Speaker 1: to say you weren't. And I cried because that was
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: such a, I didn't realize how heavy that was of,
• 30:15
  Speaker 1: I'm this woman, hear me roar. And I do want
• 30:18
  Speaker 1: to be fulfilled. But I mean, in my marriage, I
• 30:19
  Speaker 1: want you to, you know, I don't want you to
• 30:21
  Speaker 1: also feel like I'm a liar. Like you say one
• 30:23
  Speaker 1: thing and you go back. It's a lot that went
• 30:25
  Speaker 1: into it. And he's just like, but I know you
• 30:27
  Speaker 1: and I know you're not doing this begrudgingly. You're not
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: trying to stay away. And he's like, chase your dream
• 30:32
  Speaker 1: because you can't come home with that void. He said,
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: I can't fulfill that for you. Yeah.
• 30:36
  Speaker 2: And how special it is to have someone that cares
• 30:39
  Speaker 2: so deeply about you and the things that are important.
• 30:42
  Speaker 3: To you, knowing that that doesn't make them any less special. important.
• 30:46
  Speaker 2: I think that that's where the disconnect is for a
• 30:49
  Speaker 2: lot of individuals. It's that this person, your partner can
• 30:53
  Speaker 2: see how important this is to you. And again, as
• 30:56
  Speaker 2: you said it so beautifully, that person wants the best
• 30:59
  Speaker 2: for you. I think this brings about a really important
• 31:02
  Speaker 2: conversation on intentions.
• 31:04
  Speaker 3: Yes.
• 31:04
  Speaker 2: And when somebody loves you, they will always assume the
• 31:08
  Speaker 2: best intention in you. They might, you might do something,
• 31:11
  Speaker 2: you might do something that they don't necessarily support and
• 31:14
  Speaker 2: But they will never look at you and be like,
• 31:16
  Speaker 2: you have a bad intention.
• 31:18
  Speaker 1: So literally, that's what I know. So it's crazy. I'm
• 31:21
  Speaker 1: just saying, I'm like, do you have a microphone in
• 31:23
  Speaker 1: our house? Because these are the things that I say
• 31:25
  Speaker 1: to my husband. Like, even, you know, you're irritated, you're
• 31:27
  Speaker 1: upset about something. And say he's done something that has
• 31:30
  Speaker 1: made me mad. I always, the first thought is just like,
• 31:33
  Speaker 1: I know he didn't say, I know she doesn't like this.
• 31:36
  Speaker 3: Anyways, I'm going to do it.
• 31:37
  Speaker 1: Totally.
• 31:38
  Speaker 3: Totally.
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: I never cross them. So I'm always like, but I
• 31:40
  Speaker 1: know your intention. So that helps me not be just like,
• 31:43
  Speaker 1: but you knew, but you, I can never say, but
• 31:45
  Speaker 1: you knew the thing that it, it is so helpful
• 31:49
  Speaker 1: to feel like I'm someone that is considerate of me,
• 31:51
  Speaker 1: considerate of us. And then if it happens, he's like, oh,
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: let's talk about it. I didn't know, you know, and
• 31:56
  Speaker 1: then we're moving forward because it allows me to let
• 31:59
  Speaker 1: things go because I know like you love me and
• 32:01
  Speaker 1: you would never try to hurt me. That is a
• 32:03
  Speaker 1: different space to be in, in a relationship.
• 32:05
  Speaker 2: I want to talk to you about being an energy
• 32:08
  Speaker 2: dealer because you very clearly are.
• 32:11
  Speaker 3: I can relate as well.
• 32:13
  Speaker 2: As someone who is an energy dealer that's constantly filling
• 32:16
  Speaker 2: other people up, that really brings the energy where she goes,
• 32:20
  Speaker 2: how is it that you then pour back into yourself?
• 32:23
  Speaker 2: And when do you know when to call it and
• 32:25
  Speaker 2: be like, I need to turn the faucet off for.
• 32:27
  Speaker 3: A little bit?
• 32:28
  Speaker 1: This portion of my life, it is almost more than
• 32:32
  Speaker 1: it was before, right? Because I told you I was selfish.
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: You had to.
• 32:36
  Speaker 3: I'm going to track practice. I'm going to eat. I'm
• 32:38
  Speaker 3: going to weights. I'm going to eat. I'm going home.
• 32:40
  Speaker 3: That's it.
• 32:41
  Speaker 1: If you want to see me, if your conversation goes
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: too long, I have to go to sleep. Like everything was,
• 32:45
  Speaker 1: and everyone was like, I understand. Yes.
• 32:46
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: I'm going, it's bedtime. Everything was, we want Dawn to
• 32:49
  Speaker 1: be the best.
• 32:50
  Speaker 3: So, okay.
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: This time I'm able to be more of just the relaxed,
• 32:54
  Speaker 1: like I know what's on the line, but I'm here.
• 32:55
  Speaker 1: I'm here because I'm dealing with people all day, every day.
• 32:57
  Speaker 3: Like, oh my goodness. And I'm so happy to be here.
• 32:59
  Speaker 3: I really am. And I'm like, ah. And before I realized,
• 33:01
  Speaker 3: I'm like, I've been like, ah. For six hours.
• 33:05
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, and then you get done. And I'm like,
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: I think my social battery is depleted. And then you
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: find yourself getting on the bus and you get back
• 33:14
  Speaker 1: to the hotel and you're walking and you see someone
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: else and you're like, hey, because they're like, oh my God,
• 33:17
  Speaker 1: it's Dawn.
• 33:18
  Speaker 3: I'm like, hi.
• 33:19
  Speaker 1: And I feel myself have to, you got to wake
• 33:21
  Speaker 1: back up. I am very intentional with, I'm going to
• 33:24
  Speaker 1: take blocks of time where I'm like, no, nope, nope.
• 33:27
  Speaker 1: I just need, when I was competing, I did this.
• 33:29
  Speaker 1: I need a good movie, just a good movie.
• 33:32
  Speaker 3: I get lost.
• 33:33
  Speaker 1: Consumed in it. If it's funny, I am laughing. It
• 33:36
  Speaker 1: is the funniest thing I've ever seen. If it's sad,
• 33:38
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I just, I want to be away for
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: just that hour, 45, two hours.
• 33:43
  Speaker 3: I intentional.
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: And then I'm like, okay, I'm ready to be back
• 33:47
  Speaker 1: out in the world. I like my sleep. I value it.
• 33:51
  Speaker 1: That's another thing that sports taught me. I have to
• 33:53
  Speaker 1: sleep my body after two days of just too much.
• 33:56
  Speaker 3: Literally.
• 33:57
  Speaker 1: I'm like, I can feel the symptoms of you've been
• 33:59
  Speaker 1: neglecting me. You need to stop before I stop you.
• 34:03
  Speaker 1: And I'm intentional with that. And it is just, it
• 34:06
  Speaker 1: is a different way of living. I went from selfish
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: to now, I want to give. And I find so
• 34:12
  Speaker 1: much joy in interacting and dealing with people, but it
• 34:16
  Speaker 1: can be a lot. And it's kind of hard because
• 34:19
  Speaker 1: being someone that is constantly pouring, when you do have
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: those moments where you need someone to, and you're not
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: surrounded by those, you're like, this is hard because- I
• 34:31
  Speaker 1: just needed somebody to talk to and I don't really
• 34:32
  Speaker 1: have that.
• 34:33
  Speaker 2: I think it forces you to do an inventory of
• 34:35
  Speaker 2: the people that you keep around you most frequently. When
• 34:38
  Speaker 2: you realize in those moments where you need a downbeat
• 34:41
  Speaker 2: and you need someone to be your outlet, you have
• 34:45
  Speaker 2: to really take stock of what's happening around you. And
• 34:47
  Speaker 2: that is something that, again, if we're going to use
• 34:49
  Speaker 2: the word opportunity, has been a really big blessing as
• 34:52
  Speaker 2: I've gotten older to be like, okay, these people might
• 34:55
  Speaker 2: not be in my immediate vicinity, but that doesn't mean
• 34:57
  Speaker 2: that they're not in my corner. Yeah.
• 34:59
  Speaker 3: Yeah, no, for sure. Which is so helpful.
• 35:01
  Speaker 2: And I can really hear you saying, I learned how
• 35:06
  Speaker 2: to own my no. And also people listening to this thinking,
• 35:11
  Speaker 2: but how do I own my no without guilt?
• 35:13
  Speaker 1: Ooh, oh, that's a good one. Okay, again, I'm very clear.
• 35:18
  Speaker 3: Listen, hello.
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: I'm very clear when I'm interacting with people I have
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: nothing but good intentions.
• 35:25
  Speaker 3: I pour into you. I am very much of like,
• 35:28
  Speaker 3: what can I do? Yes, absolutely. What can I do?
• 35:30
  Speaker 3: What can I do? But when I feel.
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: That it's too much, when I feel, and this is
• 35:36
  Speaker 1: the thing, I could have worked with 100 people and
• 35:39
  Speaker 1: I'm finally feeling like, oh my goodness, our guilt comes
• 35:42
  Speaker 1: at 101 comes and you're like, oh my goodness, well,
• 35:44
  Speaker 1: I should probably help 101. For me, I have moments
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: when I'll say to them like, listen, I hear you.
• 35:51
  Speaker 1: Right now, like I'm, I'm kind of shot. Like if
• 35:55
  Speaker 1: you have the opportunity to say, will you be here tomorrow?
• 35:58
  Speaker 1: Or will this opportunity, can we do this?
• 36:00
  Speaker 3: Then I'll do that.
• 36:01
  Speaker 1: I'm like, tomorrow, it's tomorrow. And then people, a lot
• 36:03
  Speaker 1: of times they're like, I get it. I've seen you
• 36:05
  Speaker 1: all day. You've been so busy. So when you can
• 36:07
  Speaker 1: explain a little bit, because that guilt, it is hard
• 36:09
  Speaker 1: to just all of a sudden say, I'm owning my
• 36:12
  Speaker 1: no to kind of sometimes communicate to help you begin
• 36:16
  Speaker 1: to build that bridge for yourself of like, okay, I
• 36:18
  Speaker 1: need to connect with this no. A little, I have no,
• 36:21
  Speaker 1: I don't know. It's so far away. To be able
• 36:23
  Speaker 1: to just speak to those people and say, you know what?
• 36:25
  Speaker 3: Like, absolutely. I want to do that.
• 36:26
  Speaker 1: But today it's just, I am. I'm really, and I
• 36:28
  Speaker 1: don't think I could give you what you deserve.
• 36:30
  Speaker 3: That. And again, you know your intentions.
• 36:33
  Speaker 2: And I think that's something that's really been so helpful
• 36:36
  Speaker 2: for me as of late has been just asking for
• 36:39
  Speaker 2: what I need. So often we get into this headspace
• 36:43
  Speaker 2: that we're so frightened to inconvenience someone.
• 36:48
  Speaker 3: And 99% of the time, it's actually not that big
• 36:50
  Speaker 3: of a deal. I'm terrible at it. I am getting
• 36:52
  Speaker 3: a lot better at it.
• 36:53
  Speaker 2: And it's becoming kind of like a muscle that I
• 36:56
  Speaker 2: exercise now.
• 36:57
  Speaker 3: And I'm not talking about big things. Right, right.
• 37:01
  Speaker 2: It's like, okay, for instance, if after this, you have
• 37:04
  Speaker 2: a production meeting, right? If you needed like 15 minutes,
• 37:08
  Speaker 2: if you told them, hey, I'm going to be on
• 37:10
  Speaker 2: in 15, like something came up, it would be fine.
• 37:13
  Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah.
• 37:13
  Speaker 2: But you're so scared. I'm getting on and I'm like,
• 37:16
  Speaker 2: You're like, oh, but I really could have used that
• 37:18
  Speaker 2: 15 minutes.
• 37:19
  Speaker 3: Exactly.
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: They're talking and I'm like, oh my God, this is
• 37:21
  Speaker 1: too much. And then I'm probably missing bits and pieces
• 37:24
  Speaker 1: because I should have given myself the 15. You know
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: what I mean? It's just, we do that so much.
• 37:29
  Speaker 1: We just, we drain ourselves. And then, but then that's
• 37:33
  Speaker 1: when I say, but. Can we fault the people when
• 37:36
  Speaker 1: we didn't speak up and say anything? When I'm telling
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: you so many people are willing to give you a space,
• 37:42
  Speaker 1: give you a time, we just don't say anything.
• 37:44
  Speaker 2: And when someone offers to give you something and then
• 37:47
  Speaker 2: you make the assumption that you're inconveniencing them by letting
• 37:50
  Speaker 2: them do what they offer to do for you. That
• 37:53
  Speaker 2: is something I'm really working on. Because I'm like, oh, no,
• 37:55
  Speaker 2: you don't need to. You don't need to do that
• 37:56
  Speaker 2: for me.
• 37:57
  Speaker 3: I'm like, sometimes I'm like, where does that come from?
• 37:59
  Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know. Girl, I was talking
• 38:02
  Speaker 3: to my life coach about this yesterday.
• 38:03
  Speaker 2: A very nice man offered to make time to see
• 38:08
  Speaker 2: me over the weekend. I have an insane weekend coming up.
• 38:11
  Speaker 2: I don't have the time. But at first, I didn't
• 38:14
  Speaker 2: offer an alternative. And I said, well, he made it
• 38:18
  Speaker 2: clear that he wanted to make an effort to see me.
• 38:20
  Speaker 2: So why don't I tell him when it could work
• 38:21
  Speaker 2: for me? And then if he wants to accommodate that,
• 38:25
  Speaker 2: I've laid out my boundary. He's laid out what he's
• 38:27
  Speaker 2: interested in. And then like, I should allow for it.
• 38:29
  Speaker 2: But there's the part in my brain that's like, Well,
• 38:32
  Speaker 2: I don't want to inconvenience him. I don't want to
• 38:34
  Speaker 2: make it annoying for him.
• 38:35
  Speaker 1: Right.
• 38:35
  Speaker 2: Right. So it's like, no, like this person would probably
• 38:38
  Speaker 2: like to hear that you are interested in spending time.
• 38:41
  Speaker 3: No, that's exactly. Instead of just being like, I'm busy. Literally.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Because you're saying, oh, my God, all he hears is
• 38:47
  Speaker 1: I just don't have the time.
• 38:48
  Speaker 3: Right. He didn't hear that. I really do.
• 38:50
  Speaker 1: So he just took you at face value. Oh, and
• 38:53
  Speaker 1: then if this is not the first time, it's maybe
• 38:54
  Speaker 1: the second. It's like, you know what? Maybe she's just not.
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: And you're over here like, but why did he not?
• 38:58
  Speaker 1: Because you know that you were like, I would love
• 39:01
  Speaker 1: to see him, but I can't.
• 39:02
  Speaker 2: He never heard that part of it. No, he never
• 39:04
  Speaker 2: heard that part of it. I have since expressed it.
• 39:06
  Speaker 2: I'm working on it.
• 39:07
  Speaker 3: Oh, yay. Yeah, I know. I'll keep you in the loop.
• 39:09
  Speaker 3: I'll keep you in the loop. We'll see. We'll see. Okay,
• 39:27
  Speaker 3: I want to bring us here to... the now.
• 39:31
  Speaker 2: Doing so much more of the commentating of the being
• 39:35
  Speaker 2: forward-facing human. That can come with highs and lows.
• 39:40
  Speaker 3: Oh, I got a low. Oh, shoot.
• 39:42
  Speaker 2: Because I was going to go for hit me with
• 39:44
  Speaker 2: a peach in the pit. But you can start whichever
• 39:46
  Speaker 2: way you want.
• 39:46
  Speaker 3: No, I was just going to say. Okay, I'll never forget. Okay.
• 39:49
  Speaker 3: For the, you know, I won this sports Emmy. Ooh, yay.
• 39:52
  Speaker 3: It's cute. Again, I say, I love the you're seeing
• 39:56
  Speaker 3: me now. Right.
• 39:57
  Speaker 1: You see me now and I won my Emmy and
• 39:58
  Speaker 1: it's like, oh my goodness. So you feel like she's
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: got broadcasting down and she has, slow down. I cried
• 40:05
  Speaker 1: at the Olympics. Like I cried after my first or
• 40:08
  Speaker 1: second day broadcasting because a good friend that I trust
• 40:13
  Speaker 1: in that space sent me a message and the way
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: they worded was like, yeah, these are the mistakes.
• 40:17
  Speaker 3: <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL> <HAL>.
• 40:21
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, I'm trying to see the good. But
• 40:23
  Speaker 1: I have 10 more days of this.
• 40:25
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 40:26
  Speaker 1: So how do I get back on the mic tomorrow
• 40:28
  Speaker 1: for another five, six hours and trust myself?
• 40:31
  Speaker 3: Did you just say I was terrible? Was my first?
• 40:33
  Speaker 2: How?
• 40:34
  Speaker 3: Okay. So I don't know what I'm talking about. I
• 40:35
  Speaker 3: do know. I don't know how to convey it to
• 40:37
  Speaker 3: the people. You know what? This spiral. Yeah. Spiral. Totally.
• 40:41
  Speaker 1: I was, I just, I felt like maybe nothing made sense.
• 40:46
  Speaker 1: It was just, it was so hard. But then, you know,
• 40:48
  Speaker 1: you go back to like, okay, okay. Now nothing was,
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: he didn't say everything.
• 40:50
  Speaker 3: Okay. Okay. Calm down.
• 40:53
  Speaker 1: It was so hard to calm my emotions. I mean,
• 40:58
  Speaker 1: I was devastated. Like I said, I felt like I
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: let everybody down. NBC gave me this chance. And now
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: when I finished the producer that was in there, he
• 41:06
  Speaker 1: was like, great job. But this one person said it,
• 41:10
  Speaker 1: but they know what they're talking about. So maybe he
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: just didn't want to tell me that I did terrible because,
• 41:15
  Speaker 1: and I had to stop and have a whole moment
• 41:18
  Speaker 1: with myself. I called my husband, obviously. And of course
• 41:20
  Speaker 1: he was like, whoa, whoa, whoa. Like what's happening? He had,
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: I had a whole conversation with him and then I
• 41:24
  Speaker 1: sat down and I'm like, okay, but what did he say?
• 41:28
  Speaker 3: Okay.
• 41:28
  Speaker 1: So what are the things, do you feel that could
• 41:29
  Speaker 1: have been worked on? Do you feel this piece could
• 41:31
  Speaker 1: have been? And I'm like, slow down and just make
• 41:34
  Speaker 1: the tweaks that you agree with.
• 41:36
  Speaker 3: Right.
• 41:36
  Speaker 1: Because still remain yourself. Because what I don't want to
• 41:39
  Speaker 1: ever do is getting to a space. And then I'm like,
• 41:41
  Speaker 1: who was that? That just isn't, that's not. And I,
• 41:44
  Speaker 1: and I'll say this. I don't believe that I am the,
• 41:47
  Speaker 1: an in lane five. They're running well.
• 41:49
  Speaker 3: I'm like, in lane five, OMG. That's just me. That's
• 41:53
  Speaker 3: how I want to deliver it.
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: And so if it is a little too for you,
• 41:57
  Speaker 1: maybe I want to make sure that you're still understanding
• 42:00
  Speaker 1: what I'm saying and I'm not too, but I'm not
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: coming down to the, an in lane five.
• 42:05
  Speaker 3: Of course not.
• 42:06
  Speaker 2: Right.
• 42:06
  Speaker 3: And so, but in my head, I'm like, is that
• 42:08
  Speaker 3: what I need to do? I'm like, whoa, whoa, whoa.
• 42:09
  Speaker 3: So it was a spiral.
• 42:11
  Speaker 1: Like, so behind that Emmy, I have that moment in
• 42:13
  Speaker 1: my head of, but it's the proud moment of, When
• 42:16
  Speaker 1: I say the next day, I had taken my deep
• 42:18
  Speaker 1: breath and I'm like, girl, we got this. And I literally,
• 42:21
  Speaker 1: it had to be day two because I remember on
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: day three, I was like, that was like one of
• 42:24
  Speaker 1: my best days. And then four or five by the end,
• 42:26
  Speaker 1: I was like, just set me up for life because
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: I'm ready for this.
• 42:29
  Speaker 3: You want to keep this going for another month? Yeah.
• 42:32
  Speaker 3: If only.
• 42:33
  Speaker 1: I know.
• 42:34
  Speaker 2: What a beautiful example of, again, we see people and
• 42:39
  Speaker 2: they've arrived and we're like.
• 42:41
  Speaker 3: Wow, that's so cool. But you're not looking at all
• 42:44
  Speaker 3: the little.
• 42:44
  Speaker 2: Steps that it took to get them to that moment. Okay,
• 42:48
  Speaker 2: so that's a pit.
• 42:49
  Speaker 3: Okay. Hit me with a peach. Ooh, a peach is.
• 42:55
  Speaker 1: Me just being in town in New York last week
• 42:58
  Speaker 1: was an absolute peach because I had been doing all
• 43:00
  Speaker 1: this traveling. I'm like, oh, you know, like I finally
• 43:02
  Speaker 1: had one week where I didn't have to travel. And
• 43:05
  Speaker 1: Athlos called and they're like, you know, we need you
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: to do these conferences with Alexis Ohanian. Never in my
• 43:13
  Speaker 1: wildest dreams did I think my experiences, the things that
• 43:17
  Speaker 1: brought me tears and joy, I'm going to be flown
• 43:22
  Speaker 1: out to New York. to hear about my life experiences.
• 43:27
  Speaker 1: And you have value in that. You see value in
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: my story.
• 43:30
  Speaker 3: Shut your face.
• 43:31
  Speaker 1: Like I just could not comprehend where I, like right
• 43:36
  Speaker 1: now talking to you, I'm serious. This is mind blowing.
• 43:40
  Speaker 1: When Bobby Kersey told me, you can't take your lows
• 43:43
  Speaker 1: this low. What I told myself is we're going to
• 43:46
  Speaker 1: enjoy everything. And so literally this is crazy. I'm walking
• 43:50
  Speaker 1: in New York and I see a bug I haven't seen.
• 43:53
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, My talents brought me to New York
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: and I'd have never seen that bug if I didn't
• 43:57
  Speaker 1: go out there.
• 43:58
  Speaker 3: I'm enjoying everything. I'm serious. It sounds crazy.
• 44:01
  Speaker 1: But when I'm done with this and this body and
• 44:04
  Speaker 1: this world, I just don't want to be like, you know,
• 44:06
  Speaker 1: because I have moments in track where I remember I
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: did not take that in. I was so like, next goal,
• 44:12
  Speaker 1: next goal. And I'm like, girl, years went by and
• 44:16
  Speaker 1: you were chasing, but you won. But you were chasing
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: the next thing. You accomplished the goal and you belittled it.
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: because you were going after the next one. So sitting
• 44:25
  Speaker 1: here talking to you, I'm like, girl, shut up.
• 44:27
  Speaker 3: Shut up. Oh my gosh. What has helped you get
• 44:30
  Speaker 3: more present?
• 44:31
  Speaker 2: Because that is probably the muscle that you're building the
• 44:36
  Speaker 2: most when you talk about noticing the little things around you.
• 44:40
  Speaker 1: Reflecting on the fact that I can't, and I know
• 44:43
  Speaker 1: memory will fade on us all, but I vividly remember
• 44:47
  Speaker 1: dismissing Big moments because I was chasing the next.
• 44:51
  Speaker 3: I will not do that again.
• 44:52
  Speaker 1: I was winning Diamond League races and the trophies and
• 44:56
  Speaker 1: things I would get. I would leave them in the
• 44:57
  Speaker 1: hotel room next. And when I got married, my husband
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: was traveling. He's like, what are you, you're not going
• 45:02
  Speaker 1: to take? I'm like, next meet.
• 45:03
  Speaker 3: And he's like, whoa, whoa.
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I was, I mean, no, that sometimes sports will do that.
• 45:08
  Speaker 1: You're like, you got to prove yourself, prove yourself. And
• 45:10
  Speaker 1: track is brutal because you can have two or three
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: races in one week. And if you don't win that
• 45:14
  Speaker 1: last one, I need to win the next one and
• 45:15
  Speaker 1: the next one. So you're always trying to prove yourself.
• 45:18
  Speaker 1: And if you let it seep in, that will be
• 45:19
  Speaker 1: how you value yourself. And that was starting to be
• 45:22
  Speaker 1: how I value myself. And so now, absolutely not. My
• 45:25
  Speaker 1: kids are here. My husband's here. And I'm like, my
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: little girl, she was getting hurt earlier.
• 45:29
  Speaker 3: I was like, oh, she hurt her leg. Oh, she's
• 45:31
  Speaker 3: so sad. Look, she's in New York hurting herself. Like,
• 45:33
  Speaker 3: it's just, you know what I mean? I'm taking in everything. Yeah.
• 45:37
  Speaker 1: Yeah.
• 45:37
  Speaker 2: Was there a crash moment? where you realized how important
• 45:43
  Speaker 2: it really was for you to start paying attention?
• 45:46
  Speaker 3: I think some of.
• 45:47
  Speaker 1: It just, it was, I feel like just a compilation
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: of them where kind of talking with people and talking
• 45:53
  Speaker 1: about certain meets.
• 45:55
  Speaker 3: And I'm like, I did, that was really. And people
• 45:57
  Speaker 3: would remember things that you don't remember.
• 46:00
  Speaker 2: Yes.
• 46:01
  Speaker 3: I'm like, okay, that's, that's actually not okay. Dawn. That's
• 46:04
  Speaker 3: not okay. That's not okay.
• 46:06
  Speaker 1: That's not because I remember you crying for that moment.
• 46:10
  Speaker 1: And then you just were like, next. And I wasn't trying.
• 46:13
  Speaker 1: And the thing is, is when I was belittling it,
• 46:15
  Speaker 1: it wasn't me being like, it didn't mean anything. It's
• 46:17
  Speaker 1: just like, we got to keep grinding, Dawn. We got
• 46:19
  Speaker 1: to keep grinding. So like I said, I did it.
• 46:22
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, keep, you got to keep. So that's
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: what it was. Yeah.
• 46:26
  Speaker 3: You just reminded me of how....
• 46:30
  Speaker 2: Gritty, kind of gnarly, a little angry, your competition persona was.
• 46:37
  Speaker 3: I'm a killer.
• 46:38
  Speaker 2: I want to talk a little bit about stepping into
• 46:41
  Speaker 2: that and what it was like for you then and
• 46:44
  Speaker 2: maybe what it looks like today.
• 46:47
  Speaker 3: Yeah. I am ruthless. I am brutal.
• 46:50
  Speaker 1: This smile that you see is an absolute no for me.
• 46:53
  Speaker 1: I am very aware of all the sacrifices I made.
• 46:57
  Speaker 1: Just last week when I was here in New York
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: for the Wall Street Journal conference, They ask, what do
• 47:01
  Speaker 1: people get wrong about women's sports? And it's actually been doing,
• 47:05
  Speaker 1: they cut a clip. And I was like, that was
• 47:07
  Speaker 1: such a good clip. Where I talk about the thing
• 47:10
  Speaker 1: that they get wrong is I am a female woman forever.
• 47:15
  Speaker 3: Forever.
• 47:15
  Speaker 1: That'll never change. But I'm an athlete when I step
• 47:18
  Speaker 1: out there.
• 47:19
  Speaker 3: And I'm ruthless. I'm a killer.
• 47:20
  Speaker 1: I'm trying to just everything in sight I wanted. Because
• 47:24
  Speaker 1: of the sacrifices I've made, I know what I'm capable of.
• 47:27
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 47:29
  Speaker 1: I know that these sacrifices has me like, you've earned
• 47:31
  Speaker 1: that one.
• 47:31
  Speaker 3: Go get it.
• 47:33
  Speaker 1: And so when I go out there to run, I
• 47:35
  Speaker 1: don't need you to hold me to this beautiful standard of.
• 47:37
  Speaker 3: What women do and what girls do.
• 47:39
  Speaker 1: And that's a little harsh because Messiah Russell is going
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: through that a little bit right now. She wins races
• 47:44
  Speaker 1: and she, I don't know, she does something like put
• 47:46
  Speaker 1: the crown on or do something. And they're like, wow,
• 47:48
  Speaker 1: just win races. That's kind of, no, no, no. See,
• 47:51
  Speaker 1: you want me to curtsy. You want me to be cute.
• 47:53
  Speaker 1: Thank you so much for the opportunity. No, I'm happy
• 47:55
  Speaker 1: for this opportunity, but I earned it.
• 47:57
  Speaker 3: Mm-hmm.
• 47:58
  Speaker 1: And so that's who I am when I step on
• 48:00
  Speaker 1: that track.
• 48:00
  Speaker 3: I am. And so when I get done, I'm like, peace, love,
• 48:03
  Speaker 3: and harmony. You know, like, yay, yay, yay. The world,
• 48:05
  Speaker 3: exactly like, yay.
• 48:06
  Speaker 1: But for those seconds, oh, man, I just, that part
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: I do miss, though. Just, I can remember going over
• 48:12
  Speaker 1: the hurling.
• 48:12
  Speaker 3: I mean, you were like, get there! It was so.
• 48:16
  Speaker 2: What does it look like in your head when you're
• 48:19
  Speaker 2: about to go onto a live broadcast?
• 48:21
  Speaker 3: Oh, absolutely.
• 48:21
  Speaker 2: Because it's a very different thing, but also it involves
• 48:24
  Speaker 2: some of the same mental fortitude, skill set, I've got this, self-talk.
• 48:28
  Speaker 3: Knowing how to.
• 48:28
  Speaker 1: Calm your breathing. Because, I mean, you feel yourself physically.
• 48:31
  Speaker 1: You're like, you get a little hot.
• 48:32
  Speaker 3: You're like tingly. You're like, oh my goodness. I like
• 48:34
  Speaker 3: to start sweating before I start to anyone. Absolutely. And
• 48:36
  Speaker 3: you're like, okay, you like breathe. You're ready. And it's like,
• 48:39
  Speaker 3: it's go time, baby. It's go time. And then, but
• 48:41
  Speaker 3: as soon as the.
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: Lights, camera, action happens, Like, you know, you're remembering the notes,
• 48:44
  Speaker 1: the things that you, the message you want to get across,
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: that feeling.
• 48:47
  Speaker 3: Dial in. Because if you're feeling it, then we're feeling it. Right?
• 48:51
  Speaker 1: And just knowing that when I get done, I need
• 48:53
  Speaker 1: you to understand what I'm saying. I need you to know.
• 48:56
  Speaker 1: And when you get done, you're like, I get it.
• 48:58
  Speaker 1: That for me, I get it. And that's, I'm able
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: to use my words now instead of just my body
• 49:02
  Speaker 1: and my actions. Now I can actually say the things
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: and express to you and double down on something so
• 49:08
  Speaker 1: you understand that moment.
• 49:10
  Speaker 3: I want to.
• 49:11
  Speaker 2: circle back to the time period after you came back,
• 49:17
  Speaker 2: you went back to the track for just a bit
• 49:20
  Speaker 2: before having been your second daughter. What was it like
• 49:24
  Speaker 2: for you to finally say, I'm complete with this?
• 49:29
  Speaker 3: Scary.
• 49:30
  Speaker 1: Obviously a little sad. Exciting because what's next? But then
• 49:35
  Speaker 1: mostly scary, if I'm just going to be honest. I
• 49:37
  Speaker 1: had given my life to track. I like literally had given,
• 49:41
  Speaker 1: I had not really entertained too many thoughts outside of it.
• 49:46
  Speaker 1: One thing that I always remembered is people told me
• 49:48
  Speaker 1: when I would do interviews, you're really comfortable. You look,
• 49:51
  Speaker 1: you're really good on the mic. Like, you know, just
• 49:53
  Speaker 1: think about that when you're done. Like I've had a
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: couple of people say that.
• 49:55
  Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, thanks.
• 49:56
  Speaker 1: But I never really, you know, thought of it because
• 49:58
  Speaker 1: at the time it wasn't too many opportunities in track
• 50:00
  Speaker 1: and field.
• 50:01
  Speaker 3: And so, you know, I'm really just like, thanks one
• 50:03
  Speaker 3: day I'll maybe. Yeah, it was....
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: It was difficult and it was a lonely space. Right
• 50:10
  Speaker 1: now I'm telling myself I might need to make a
• 50:12
  Speaker 1: video about that to talk about it a little more
• 50:14
  Speaker 1: because we don't talk about that enough. The fact that
• 50:18
  Speaker 1: in a sense, all I know is this way and
• 50:22
  Speaker 1: I know what worked for me. I didn't even consider
• 50:24
  Speaker 1: you because you want to take away from me thinking
• 50:27
  Speaker 1: of me. Like that was just, and how do I
• 50:30
  Speaker 1: turn that into, people say all the time, like, you know,
• 50:32
  Speaker 1: people love hiring athletes because they know how to get
• 50:34
  Speaker 1: the job done.
• 50:35
  Speaker 3: Like, yeah, but I still want to do something that
• 50:36
  Speaker 3: I love to do.
• 50:37
  Speaker 1: I don't, for me, I didn't necessarily want to go
• 50:41
  Speaker 1: and sit and work in a cubicle space. I wanted
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: to interact with people. I want to be out and about.
• 50:46
  Speaker 1: I love the thing called track and field. So now
• 50:48
  Speaker 1: the brain starts to spiral because you're at home. You
• 50:51
  Speaker 1: need to make a little money. And then you're at home.
• 50:55
  Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
• 50:55
  Speaker 1: It's like the reality starts to sink in and your
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: husband goes to work every day. He thoroughly loves what
• 51:01
  Speaker 1: he does. And I'm like, that's nice. What is that like? Well,
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: I used to know that was like, what is this
• 51:06
  Speaker 1: new thing? And so really trying to, but then understanding
• 51:09
  Speaker 1: that don't be afraid to speak out and talk to
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: people that maybe you think are going with what you're
• 51:15
  Speaker 1: going through or went through it. Right. And so I
• 51:17
  Speaker 1: reached out to people at USA Track and Field to
• 51:19
  Speaker 1: discuss and that kicked off where I am now.
• 51:22
  Speaker 2: You said something that's so valuable in that you were
• 51:25
  Speaker 2: able to articulate the things that you liked, even though
• 51:28
  Speaker 2: you didn't know exactly what you wanted to do. You
• 51:30
  Speaker 2: sat down and you said, I like this. I like people.
• 51:33
  Speaker 2: I do like speaking, et cetera, et cetera. that is
• 51:36
  Speaker 2: such a foundational example of you might not have all
• 51:40
  Speaker 2: the answers, but if you can just start here, right?
• 51:44
  Speaker 2: Because starting and bringing it up into little doables is
• 51:47
  Speaker 2: going to make something that's big and scary and overwhelming
• 51:50
  Speaker 2: feel a little bit more manageable.
• 51:52
  Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think what we do in that moment
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: is we look at it as I just said, you know,
• 51:57
  Speaker 1: something that you kind of like this, like, you're like, yeah,
• 51:59
  Speaker 1: but that's not really, no, no, no, no. Don't, See,
• 52:01
  Speaker 1: we're trying to put it in a box right now.
• 52:03
  Speaker 1: And I'm like, don't put it in a box. Literally
• 52:05
  Speaker 1: think of just whatever. I like puzzles. I mean, just
• 52:09
  Speaker 1: the things. And then start to say, okay, what's out
• 52:12
  Speaker 1: there that involves that?
• 52:13
  Speaker 3: I do like doing that.
• 52:13
  Speaker 1: I mean, break it down into the most minute, smallest
• 52:17
  Speaker 1: of things. And then just water it. Look into certain
• 52:20
  Speaker 1: things and see it grow, grow, grow. And figure out,
• 52:23
  Speaker 1: dip your toe there, dip your toe there. And then
• 52:26
  Speaker 1: if you have to, as I did when I was competing,
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: working three jobs before and still chasing a dream. If you,
• 52:33
  Speaker 1: when you're done making that transition, you have to work
• 52:35
  Speaker 1: a job and make money, dip your toe in other
• 52:38
  Speaker 1: things to see what you like. You're just chasing another dream.
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: Just looks a little different.
• 52:41
  Speaker 2: Just looks a little different. Someone right now comes to
• 52:45
  Speaker 2: your social media. They see Dawn, the Olympian, the Olympic medalist,
• 52:50
  Speaker 2: the Diamond League champion, the woman now that is behind
• 52:54
  Speaker 2: the Mike Emmy award winning journalist. When you look in
• 52:58
  Speaker 2: the mirror though, Dawn, what is it that you see
• 53:01
  Speaker 2: looking back at you?
• 53:03
  Speaker 1: Ooh, I see someone that over time, just remember it's time,
• 53:08
  Speaker 1: has learned to really love herself. That journey when I
• 53:12
  Speaker 1: won in 2008, it did not look like I thought.
• 53:16
  Speaker 3: It was harder than I expected. I was sad.
• 53:19
  Speaker 1: I thought I knew who I was and I felt
• 53:23
  Speaker 1: like my foundation had been shaken. And just over time
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: through all those ups and downs, I'm like, girl, you
• 53:29
  Speaker 1: are so resilient. You are the monster that you think
• 53:34
  Speaker 1: you are. You love people and that is what makes
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: you grow and remain in that space. I am appreciative
• 53:43
  Speaker 1: of the tears that I've, I'm so appreciative of the
• 53:47
  Speaker 1: tears that I've cried because I'm so clear.
• 53:51
  Speaker 3: That I would not be where I am and who
• 53:53
  Speaker 3: I am without crying. every single one of those. You
• 53:58
  Speaker 3: see that when you look in the mirror.
• 53:59
  Speaker 2: Is that essentially what you also want your daughters to
• 54:04
  Speaker 2: see when they look at you?
• 54:05
  Speaker 1: When I was just talking now, I was thinking about
• 54:07
  Speaker 1: that because I'm like, because of those things, I am
• 54:09
  Speaker 1: the mother that I am. Because of those things, when
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: they have a boo-boo, I'm going to say, I know,
• 54:15
  Speaker 1: but you'll be okay. The mama's here, but keep going.
• 54:18
  Speaker 1: I need them to see Me go through all of
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: it right now. That, all the things, the ups and downs.
• 54:27
  Speaker 1: I need them to see me and their father have
• 54:28
  Speaker 1: the most healthy relationship that we'll have.
• 54:31
  Speaker 3: Moments of, babe, no, I didn't like that. Or babe, no.
• 54:35
  Speaker 1: And then they kind of pause and like, is this
• 54:38
  Speaker 1: going to turn? It's like, no, we're fine. It was
• 54:39
  Speaker 1: just communication. It's just communication. I need them to be
• 54:43
  Speaker 1: loved in all the ways that they're going to be
• 54:44
  Speaker 1: loved from their father. And I need them to see
• 54:48
  Speaker 1: their mother walk in who Dawn Harper Nelson is.
• 54:52
  Speaker 3: And that's just me. That's just me. I love it.
• 54:55
  Speaker 2: Well, I'm so excited that we had the opportunity to
• 54:57
  Speaker 2: sit down today. Before I let you go right now,
• 55:00
  Speaker 2: you have an opportunity to offer yourself a piece of advice.
• 55:05
  Speaker 2: Going through the hurdle moment, which is making the decision
• 55:09
  Speaker 2: to say to your husband, I'm not done yet. I
• 55:13
  Speaker 2: thought I was done. I'm not done yet. Knowing what
• 55:16
  Speaker 2: you know now... What would you tell your younger self
• 55:18
  Speaker 2: going into that moment?
• 55:24
  Speaker 1: That's a good one. You know that you're loving when
• 55:29
  Speaker 1: you say this. Be confident in what you're going to say.
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: If your relationship is what you think it is, it
• 55:35
  Speaker 1: will survive. It's going to be okay. It's going to
• 55:38
  Speaker 1: make you stronger because you will realize that man truly
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: loves me.
• 55:43
  Speaker 3: He truly loves me. Oh, the feels. So many feels.
• 55:48
  Speaker 2: Dawn, for those that aren't keeping up with you just yet,
• 55:51
  Speaker 2: following along with you on social, give us the deets.
• 55:53
  Speaker 3: Where can we find you?
• 55:54
  Speaker 1: You can find me on Instagram. That's where I'm getting busy.
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: But dharp100mh. I'm on Instagram and then Facebook. It's my name,
• 56:02
  Speaker 1: Dawn Harper Nelson. So yeah, and it's me controlling my account.
• 56:06
  Speaker 1: I'm having a good time and I would love to
• 56:08
  Speaker 1: interact with you. She would love to interact with you.
• 56:11
  Speaker 1: And you can find her at Athlos this fall. You can,
• 56:14
  Speaker 1: all of Athlos.
• 56:14
  Speaker 3: That's going to be me, girl. I'm going to be busy, busy.
• 56:17
  Speaker 3: You vibing.
• 56:18
  Speaker 2: I'm over at Emily Abadi at Hurdle Podcast.
• 56:21
  Speaker 3: Another hurdle conquered. Catch you guys next time.