Latest / The Ben Maller Show / The Fifth Hour: American Pie, David & Roscoe Tribute

Transcript

The Fifth Hour: American Pie, David & Roscoe Tribute · The Ben Maller Show

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: Kabbooms.
• 0:02
  Speaker 2: If you thought four hours a day, twelve hundred minutes
• 0:05
  Speaker 2: a week was enough, think again. He's the last remnants
• 0:09
  Speaker 2: of the old republic, a sole fashion of fairness. He
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: treats crackheads in the ghetto gutter the same as the
• 0:15
  Speaker 2: rich pill poppers in the penthouse.
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: Wow.
• 0:18
  Speaker 2: The Clearinghouse of Hot takes break free for something special.
• 0:22
  Speaker 2: The Fifth Hour with Ben Maller starts right now in.
• 0:29
  Speaker 1: The air everywhere.
• 0:32
  Speaker 3: The Fifth Hour with Me, Ben Mahler and Danny g
• 0:36
  Speaker 3: Radio A glorious, wonderful Friday to you back at it
• 0:42
  Speaker 3: here in the podcast studio on this twenty third day
• 0:48
  Speaker 3: of January, the Friday before Championship Sunday, which is magically delicious.
• 0:57
  Speaker 3: It is going to be great. Two games day, all
• 1:01
  Speaker 3: the marbles.
• 1:01
  Speaker 1: You want to know who I like?
• 1:03
  Speaker 3: A tremendous weekend of Benny Versus the Penny A masterclass.
• 1:09
  Speaker 3: Now some of you have reached out and said, what
• 1:12
  Speaker 3: did you make two episodes of Penny Versus the Penny?
• 1:15
  Speaker 1: You only needed one episode? I don't know. I don't
• 1:18
  Speaker 1: like that. Slow your role number one number two.
• 1:23
  Speaker 3: The reason we did that is because of the outgo rhythms.
• 1:29
  Speaker 1: I believe.
• 1:30
  Speaker 3: I've been studying up on trickeration with YouTube and all that,
• 1:34
  Speaker 3: and so the more episodes you have and the more
• 1:38
  Speaker 3: views that you get, the better that you're doing. And
• 1:42
  Speaker 3: then it all is tied together, the dew hickeys, the
• 1:45
  Speaker 3: thing of my jigs, all that stuff.
• 1:46
  Speaker 1: So that is why we are doing it.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: It's each episode is not very long, and you watch
• 1:52
  Speaker 3: the AFC, it should roll into the NFC or vice versa,
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: so help us out on that.
• 1:57
  Speaker 1: Check it out.
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: It's Benny Versus the Penny. It's on the YouTube global
• 2:04
  Speaker 3: audience on YouTube. We are not paying for followers like
• 2:07
  Speaker 3: so many of you frauds on YouTube, which have exceptional
• 2:11
  Speaker 3: download numbers out of this world.
• 2:13
  Speaker 1: We don't do this.
• 2:14
  Speaker 3: Everyone that's watching, we assume is a real human being,
• 2:18
  Speaker 3: so we're trying to build that up.
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: So check out Benny Versus the Penny.
• 2:21
  Speaker 3: On this episode of the Fifth Hour podcast, we've got
• 2:25
  Speaker 3: mister American Pie and into the Parrot's nest, which is
• 2:31
  Speaker 3: quite the plot twist. But we begin with this so
• 2:36
  Speaker 3: certain days on the calendar they feel fake until you
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: think about them for more than I don't know, twelve seconds.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: So I bring this up as I'm looking for things
• 2:46
  Speaker 3: that interest me for the podcast. I came across National
• 2:50
  Speaker 3: Pie Day, not the math. Pie today is National Pie Day.
• 2:55
  Speaker 3: Delicious pie. It's one of those days. At first glance,
• 3:00
  Speaker 3: it is something that you assume was invented by big
• 3:03
  Speaker 3: Dessert in America, Big dessert, not big Pharma, big dessert
• 3:08
  Speaker 3: to sell more whipped cream.
• 3:10
  Speaker 1: Why not?
• 3:12
  Speaker 3: Then you start looking around and you remember that pie
• 3:16
  Speaker 3: is basically America's emotional support food, and suddenly it all
• 3:21
  Speaker 3: makes perfect sense. It does so in honor of a
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: National Pie Day today. Pie is woven in to my
• 3:33
  Speaker 3: muscle memory, and I think all of our muscle memory.
• 3:36
  Speaker 3: Right in America, we have a song literally called American Pie,
• 3:41
  Speaker 3: American Pie, which somehow became this long history lesson you
• 3:49
  Speaker 3: sing along with it. It's very gatchy at the campfire.
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: It's a cultural test, all of that rolled.
• 3:57
  Speaker 1: In one and in America.
• 4:01
  Speaker 3: As wholesome as apple pie is, American is apple pie,
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: right And even though apples are not native to North America,
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: they're an invasive species, the apple. And that's peak Americana
• 4:15
  Speaker 3: right there. We borrow something we in our head, we
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: improve it, and we now own it. And pie is
• 4:22
  Speaker 3: really old when I started going down this rabbit hole
• 4:24
  Speaker 3: for National Pie Day. Like when I say really really old,
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: I am talking about ancient Rome.
• 4:31
  Speaker 1: Old, like the ancient Romans.
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: We're eating pie, although they're pie, we're talking about goat, cheese,
• 4:38
  Speaker 3: honey rye, and something called placenta, which sounds like you
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: need to call an ambulance. There's some kind of medical
• 4:50
  Speaker 3: condition with the placenta.
• 4:53
  Speaker 1: As I was amused by breathing about this.
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: Apparently it was like cheesecake, So the ancient Romans had
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: their own cheesecake factory. And back then the crust was
• 5:07
  Speaker 3: like tupperware. You weren't supposed to eat it. It was
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: more like the container to keep the meat from turning
• 5:16
  Speaker 3: into I guess charcoal or whatever. And they didn't instagram
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: photos of this back in forty BC, so we just
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: have to go by the historians putting all this together.
• 5:30
  Speaker 3: Crust was the I guess, the shipping box you'd get
• 5:33
  Speaker 3: when you get your Amazon delivery of food. And then
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: later on, many years later, England picked up the pie
• 5:40
  Speaker 3: baton and the relay race of the pie. Big Pie
• 5:44
  Speaker 3: the twelfth century promptly filled pies with mystery meat.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: What's in the pie, not what's.
• 5:51
  Speaker 3: In the box, what's in the pie, mystery meat, which
• 5:53
  Speaker 3: led to urban legends, bad vibrations, and likely heartburn. And
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: then our friends the pure Tins crossed the Mighty Atlantic
• 6:01
  Speaker 3: and they said, you.
• 6:02
  Speaker 1: Know what we're gonna bring with us Pie?
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: They brought pie, because of course, why would you not
• 6:08
  Speaker 3: bring pie?
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: And then there's the twist. The first Thanksgiving.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: I knew this years ago, but I was reminded of
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: it the very first th Thanksgiving. They did not have
• 6:17
  Speaker 3: sweet pie like I would think they would be sitting
• 6:20
  Speaker 3: around eating yams and pumpkin pie and all that stuff. Well,
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: pumpkin pie did not really hit until the eighteen hundreds.
• 6:29
  Speaker 3: So if you're annoyed by pumpkin pie Thanksgiving, you can
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: blame progress. You can blame progress. So we continue here
• 6:39
  Speaker 3: on National Pie Day. Modern American, right, Modern America. This
• 6:45
  Speaker 3: is where pie became the thing and and sweet pies
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: are the dominator. They run the show. The savory pie
• 6:56
  Speaker 3: are hanging out like the weird cousin who moved far away,
• 7:01
  Speaker 3: and you see them once in a while. And somehow,
• 7:03
  Speaker 3: despite all of these artists in bakeries, at least where
• 7:08
  Speaker 3: I am in La there's a lot of artists and
• 7:10
  Speaker 3: bakeries and nine dollars slices and all that stuff. The
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: MVP of pie still comes from the frozen aisle that
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: Sarah Lee is the.
• 7:24
  Speaker 1: Queen of the pie game.
• 7:25
  Speaker 3: With Marie Calendars chasing after Sarah Lee, they're in a
• 7:30
  Speaker 3: cat fight. And then you've got or I guess, a
• 7:32
  Speaker 3: pie fight, and then you've got Missus Smith, the leader
• 7:35
  Speaker 3: in the clubhouse of I'll just heat this up real quick,
• 7:41
  Speaker 3: or I'll let it defrost.
• 7:43
  Speaker 1: If it's in the freezer.
• 7:44
  Speaker 3: So, in terms of the rankings, because America loves rankings
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: almost as much as it loves pie, not a list,
• 7:51
  Speaker 3: not a list to Terry in England, not a list.
• 7:54
  Speaker 3: These are rankings, which is much different than a list.
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: It's also not Big Men's Big board. It's also not
• 7:59
  Speaker 3: Big Ben's Big board. So apple pie is the Swiss
• 8:04
  Speaker 3: Army Knife of the pie community. You can have apple
• 8:07
  Speaker 3: pie with literally any meal.
• 8:09
  Speaker 1: Of the day.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: It works in any situation. There's something there. It's like
• 8:13
  Speaker 3: a Swiss army knife. There's a tool for any job
• 8:17
  Speaker 3: that you need, and the apple pie you want to
• 8:21
  Speaker 3: have it with your eggs and bacon in the morning,
• 8:23
  Speaker 3: you can do that. If that's what you eat, you
• 8:24
  Speaker 3: can have it with you as your dessert. You can
• 8:27
  Speaker 3: have it with lunch or dinner. You can throw some
• 8:30
  Speaker 3: ice cream on top. It literally works in any way.
• 8:34
  Speaker 3: You watch now number two on the rankings banana cream
• 8:39
  Speaker 3: pie perfection. That is the Michael Jordan Bolls of desserts
• 8:44
  Speaker 3: from back in the day. Then you've got pecan pie,
• 8:47
  Speaker 3: very controversial pecan pie. For many, pecan pie is a
• 8:52
  Speaker 3: once in a while situation. Even for me, I don't
• 8:54
  Speaker 3: see pecan pie. It's like a holiday specialist. If you're
• 8:58
  Speaker 3: a baseball fan, you might remember they got rid of
• 9:01
  Speaker 3: this baseball because of the rules the nerd Rob Manford
• 9:05
  Speaker 3: put in.
• 9:05
  Speaker 1: But the lugi.
• 9:06
  Speaker 3: Remember the lugi in baseball, like Jesse Orosco if you
• 9:10
  Speaker 3: know that he was a lugie lefty one out guy
• 9:14
  Speaker 3: is called the lugi. So you bring the pecan pie
• 9:18
  Speaker 3: in to get one meal out at a holiday in
• 9:21
  Speaker 3: November and possibly again in December, and then that's it.
• 9:26
  Speaker 3: And then the lugi just kind of sits there in
• 9:28
  Speaker 3: the bullpen and waits to be called out. Now, occasionally
• 9:30
  Speaker 3: the lugis called in for Fourth of July. Occasionally you
• 9:34
  Speaker 3: get the Lugi for the Fourth of July, but very rarely.
• 9:36
  Speaker 3: The mud pie is just a whole bunch of chocolate
• 9:42
  Speaker 3: moose and it's got the sweatpants with the elastic on it.
• 9:46
  Speaker 3: Then you've got Lemon Mering, which is like a jazz album,
• 9:50
  Speaker 3: Lemon Ring not for everybody, however, unforgettable if you're into it, hey,
• 9:56
  Speaker 3: come on now. Then you got pumpkin, which is just
• 9:58
  Speaker 3: I'm not a big pumpkin guy, very seasonal. You know,
• 10:02
  Speaker 3: it's a Thanksgiving thing. Cherry pie is way too inconsistent.
• 10:07
  Speaker 3: Cherry pie has a very high ceiling a low floor.
• 10:10
  Speaker 3: There's other fruit pies like strawberry pie, which is not
• 10:14
  Speaker 3: high up blueberry pie. And there's also some fun facts
• 10:17
  Speaker 3: that are absolutely absurd. One hundred and eighty six million
• 10:21
  Speaker 3: pies are sold every year in America. Now, to put
• 10:26
  Speaker 3: that in perspective, nearly half of Americans fine pie comforting,
• 10:32
  Speaker 3: which I mean, say what you want about that. You
• 10:35
  Speaker 3: can do a whole dissertation on that. One in five
• 10:38
  Speaker 3: Americans have eaten an entire pie alone. Anyone who want
• 10:42
  Speaker 3: to raise your hand, my hands raised, no judgment. I
• 10:46
  Speaker 3: give you respect. I've done it when I was at
• 10:48
  Speaker 3: my fattest. I hit a whole pie by myself nine percent.
• 10:52
  Speaker 3: Eat the crust first. I bet you that ferg dog
• 10:55
  Speaker 3: eats the crust first. I bet you I do too.
• 10:57
  Speaker 3: I like the crust, buttery crust, way to go. There's
• 11:01
  Speaker 3: even a myth about pie. I learned on National Pie
• 11:05
  Speaker 3: Day today that someone named Oliver Cromwell.
• 11:08
  Speaker 1: I've heard of that.
• 11:09
  Speaker 3: There's the Cromwell Cromwell Hotel in Vegas. But Oliver Cromwell
• 11:14
  Speaker 3: banned pie in sixteen forty four for being too fun,
• 11:21
  Speaker 3: which is just perfect, is it not.
• 11:23
  Speaker 1: You know, we need to be serious.
• 11:25
  Speaker 3: And then of course there were religious battles, but it
• 11:26
  Speaker 3: was about pie, which just feels wonderful.
• 11:30
  Speaker 1: It's on brand. You know. If it's not true, you
• 11:33
  Speaker 1: know fine. Whatever. Of course, someone tried to cancel pie.
• 11:38
  Speaker 1: We live in the age.
• 11:39
  Speaker 3: Where they're still trying to cancel things. Not as much anymore,
• 11:42
  Speaker 3: but you get the point. And so anyway, celebrate guil Free,
• 11:47
  Speaker 3: have a big giant piece of pie, because pie is
• 11:50
  Speaker 3: not just any dessert. You can get your cake and
• 11:54
  Speaker 3: your cupcakes and your cookies and all that stuff.
• 11:56
  Speaker 1: Pie is nostalgia. You're honoring America with pies. Pie.
• 12:01
  Speaker 3: It's tradition, and you know it's one you get the
• 12:04
  Speaker 3: flaky crust sometimes there.
• 12:06
  Speaker 1: It's one of the if not the most American dessert.
• 12:10
  Speaker 1: Apple pie. It's the way to go.
• 12:13
  Speaker 3: All right now, turning the page on that, I did
• 12:15
  Speaker 3: want to spend a couple of minutes going to a
• 12:17
  Speaker 3: place I did not think I was going to go to.
• 12:20
  Speaker 3: I did not think I was going to go to
• 12:21
  Speaker 3: this place. So there are days in this wacky radio
• 12:25
  Speaker 3: world when I'm very bad about writing back to people,
• 12:29
  Speaker 3: and I apologize.
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: I say that, you know, it annoys me. I wish
• 12:33
  Speaker 1: I was better. I'm not very busy.
• 12:34
  Speaker 3: I've limited time, so usually I'll open up my inbox
• 12:38
  Speaker 3: and I'll just kind of scan it, and I'll occasionally
• 12:41
  Speaker 3: I'll write back to somebody. So I opened up the mailbox,
• 12:44
  Speaker 3: and you open things up, you expect a lot of
• 12:47
  Speaker 3: junk mail, check complaints. I get, why did you do
• 12:51
  Speaker 3: that monologue? Why didn't you say this? You should have
• 12:56
  Speaker 3: said this, You didn't say this? People complaining about my
• 12:59
  Speaker 3: hot take. There's people that have great conspiracy theories that
• 13:03
  Speaker 3: reach out to me.
• 13:03
  Speaker 1: There's people that recommend topics for monologues.
• 13:07
  Speaker 3: I get all this on my inbox that's Benmathershow at
• 13:09
  Speaker 3: gmail dot com. Every once in a while I'll get
• 13:12
  Speaker 3: someone that sends me a long letter saying how much
• 13:14
  Speaker 3: they hate the show. And then I'll get someone that
• 13:16
  Speaker 3: sent an occasional love letter, which is written, of course,
• 13:20
  Speaker 3: in entirely all caps the caplock is on, which is
• 13:24
  Speaker 3: not psychotic at all. But they love me, so it's okay.
• 13:27
  Speaker 3: And then there are days when one message nudges you
• 13:31
  Speaker 3: down a I guess you call it a parrot's nest,
• 13:36
  Speaker 3: and you didn't even know it was there, like a
• 13:40
  Speaker 3: trapdoor opened up beneath years of talk radio, a lot
• 13:47
  Speaker 3: of noise, laughter, late night static, whatever you want to
• 13:52
  Speaker 3: call the thing that we do. And so this one
• 13:55
  Speaker 3: started innocently enough. It's like, hey, Ben, I really like
• 13:58
  Speaker 3: your show. I haven't listened for a while. I started
• 14:03
  Speaker 3: listening again because of And then this person explained why.
• 14:06
  Speaker 1: They started listening again.
• 14:07
  Speaker 3: They started working at night again, so they started listening
• 14:09
  Speaker 3: in I guess you can't listen to the podcast anyway.
• 14:12
  Speaker 3: The listener reached out asking whatever happened to so? And
• 14:16
  Speaker 3: so you know the drill, right, So the old celebrity
• 14:20
  Speaker 3: caller roll call I guess we'll call it the celebrity
• 14:23
  Speaker 3: caller roll call. So I was like, well, you know,
• 14:25
  Speaker 3: Chris and Houston moved to the day shift. That guy
• 14:28
  Speaker 3: got divorced, so he stopped listening, so he changed his routine.
• 14:33
  Speaker 3: There's another guy that he had the health problem, so
• 14:35
  Speaker 3: he kind of drifted away from the show.
• 14:37
  Speaker 1: I don't know what happened to him.
• 14:38
  Speaker 3: Life happens, and so the audience turns over on the
• 14:44
  Speaker 3: Overnight Show like crops in a field denial, you can't
• 14:48
  Speaker 3: get attached. I occasionally do get attached, which is my problem.
• 14:52
  Speaker 3: So I'm going through this email and then a name
• 14:54
  Speaker 3: surface that I had not heard in a good amount
• 14:57
  Speaker 3: of time. David from Winter Park, Florida with his sidekick
• 15:01
  Speaker 3: Roscoe the Parrot. Now, if you're an OG fan of
• 15:04
  Speaker 3: the Overnight Show and we're around back in the day,
• 15:08
  Speaker 3: you likely know who this is. You'll remember the name anyway,
• 15:12
  Speaker 3: even if you don't remember his phone calls. If you weren't,
• 15:16
  Speaker 3: let me catch you up to speed on this, you
• 15:18
  Speaker 3: missed a live wire. So I did what anyone with
• 15:25
  Speaker 3: insomnia and occasional access to a very powerful microphone, the
• 15:29
  Speaker 3: bully pulpit and a suspicious mind would do. I said,
• 15:33
  Speaker 3: you know, I haven't heard from David a while, so
• 15:35
  Speaker 3: I went looking.
• 15:37
  Speaker 1: I didn't go deep. I don't go deep on these things,
• 15:39
  Speaker 1: mind you.
• 15:40
  Speaker 3: I had a minutes long malor investigation, more flashlight than
• 15:46
  Speaker 3: searchlight type situation going on. So I went down social media,
• 15:50
  Speaker 3: because you always go there first. To go to social media.
• 15:52
  Speaker 3: I checked out some old emails, digital breadcrumbs, silence. Then
• 16:00
  Speaker 3: I looked he hadn't posted on the X machine in
• 16:05
  Speaker 3: I think almost a year. I think it was March
• 16:09
  Speaker 3: of twenty twenty five. And so then I started typing
• 16:14
  Speaker 3: some words in what I knew about my friend, David
• 16:17
  Speaker 3: radio friend.
• 16:19
  Speaker 1: And then the.
• 16:21
  Speaker 3: Thing you never want to find but you can't ignore
• 16:24
  Speaker 3: once you do took place. And as I was searching around,
• 16:29
  Speaker 3: an obituary that lined up too cleanly to totally dismiss.
• 16:34
  Speaker 3: In fact, it was so clean you had to accept
• 16:38
  Speaker 3: it from the Orlando Sentinel and listed all the key facts,
• 16:44
  Speaker 3: winter Park, Florida, the right age, the right information. Now,
• 16:50
  Speaker 3: the words that stopped me were not flowery or poetic.
• 16:55
  Speaker 3: They were very clinical that this man who was a
• 17:00
  Speaker 3: part of our world, if this is accurate, you're died alone,
• 17:04
  Speaker 3: no listed family. Uh, and it said right underneath it
• 17:09
  Speaker 3: is said, anyone with information about relatives was asked to
• 17:12
  Speaker 3: contact the funeral home.
• 17:14
  Speaker 1: And that's like when that happened, I was.
• 17:16
  Speaker 3: Like, oh man, when I read that, I like, who
• 17:20
  Speaker 3: took a deep breath, paused, and I started going through
• 17:26
  Speaker 3: some memories.
• 17:27
  Speaker 1: You know, I was like, well, I mean, far as
• 17:29
  Speaker 1: I know, this is accurate.
• 17:31
  Speaker 3: I mean, how what are the chances there are two
• 17:33
  Speaker 3: people with the same name, at the same age, from
• 17:36
  Speaker 3: the same city. Uh, you know, everything everything lined up
• 17:39
  Speaker 3: like planets in a row. And at that time, I'm thinking, well,
• 17:44
  Speaker 3: why do I keep doing this in terms of going
• 17:47
  Speaker 3: down these rabbit holes, because you be careful, you really
• 17:51
  Speaker 3: don't know what.
• 17:51
  Speaker 1: You're going to find.
• 17:52
  Speaker 3: And so just like this guy died alone, no listed family,
• 17:57
  Speaker 3: and it's again it said anyone with information, you know,
• 18:00
  Speaker 3: contact the funeral And so what we do is an
• 18:05
  Speaker 3: odd circus. There's a lot going on, right. You hear
• 18:08
  Speaker 3: people call in for years without ever seeing them. They
• 18:13
  Speaker 3: become these these characters in your documentary, in your world.
• 18:18
  Speaker 3: They become voices, some of them background noises, depending what
• 18:21
  Speaker 3: you're doing, punchlines. There are people that are foils of mind.
• 18:25
  Speaker 3: That that a goofon that play along with the bit
• 18:28
  Speaker 3: familiar ghosts who pop up at three in the morning
• 18:32
  Speaker 3: and then vanish and are gone. And you assume, like
• 18:37
  Speaker 3: I always like to think, well everyone's ever called the
• 18:38
  Speaker 3: shows alive until I hear they're dead right. They're out
• 18:41
  Speaker 3: there somewhere, They're just not part of the show for
• 18:44
  Speaker 3: whatever reason, you know, blame it on the wife or whatever.
• 18:46
  Speaker 3: They're still breathing, they're still eating, they're still living life
• 18:49
  Speaker 3: and enjoying life. They're still listening, they're still yelling at
• 18:52
  Speaker 3: the radio until they're not right. So David was one
• 18:56
  Speaker 3: of the great characters of the Mallard Militia, and so
• 19:00
  Speaker 3: I wanted to spend a couple of minutes talking about
• 19:03
  Speaker 3: what I remember.
• 19:04
  Speaker 1: From David in Winter Park, Florida.
• 19:06
  Speaker 3: Not because he was he was a great character, not
• 19:08
  Speaker 3: because he was loud or outrageous, but because he was
• 19:12
  Speaker 3: all in the kind of a fan who doesn't just listen.
• 19:17
  Speaker 3: He participated, and he created content.
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: He was a content creator showed up. So this goes
• 19:25
  Speaker 1: back number of years. I don't know exactly how many.
• 19:29
  Speaker 1: It's just one giant ball of time.
• 19:32
  Speaker 3: So it goes back a number yusers before the pandemic,
• 19:35
  Speaker 3: and when I was pulling double duty, I had a
• 19:38
  Speaker 3: side hustle. I was doing Boston Radio Wei. I did
• 19:43
  Speaker 3: it remotely from the home studio in la and I
• 19:47
  Speaker 3: would fly back to Boston for certain events. And one
• 19:51
  Speaker 3: of those trips included a meet and greet at a
• 19:54
  Speaker 3: legendary bar which is just down the street from Finway
• 19:58
  Speaker 3: pac a Pilgrim image site for baseball lifers, right and
• 20:03
  Speaker 3: of course in this case radio diehards need to go there.
• 20:07
  Speaker 1: So people came from everywhere. It was great.
• 20:10
  Speaker 3: It was one of the great turnouts we've had, just
• 20:13
  Speaker 3: phenomenal for a malor meet and greet. The show does
• 20:16
  Speaker 3: very well in the Boston area, and so every corner
• 20:20
  Speaker 3: of New England, all the Commonwealth, it was all involved there.
• 20:24
  Speaker 3: We had a guy even that came down from Toronto.
• 20:27
  Speaker 3: We had people from the South. Somebody drove up from
• 20:30
  Speaker 3: North Carolina with their kids. I'm sure they love that.
• 20:33
  Speaker 3: Blind Scott held court telling stories that nobody wanted to hear.
• 20:38
  Speaker 3: Blair from Maine showed up with his assistant. He was
• 20:42
  Speaker 3: wide eyed, very uneasy, and convinced that the late DMX
• 20:47
  Speaker 3: group that he's dead DMX, but the fans who were
• 20:49
  Speaker 3: there at that concert, he was just down the street.
• 20:51
  Speaker 3: We're lurking in the shadows around every corner. You had
• 20:54
  Speaker 3: Wayne from Southey, who torpedoed years of sobriety, jumped off
• 21:00
  Speaker 3: the wagon, who immortalized himself with the iconic drop. I
• 21:06
  Speaker 3: did it for Mala. Yeah, now we don't hear that anymore.
• 21:10
  Speaker 3: Lorena's new kind. Shepelled the show for a while, but
• 21:13
  Speaker 3: she doesn't know any of that stuff because she wasn't
• 21:14
  Speaker 3: around for those days. And so unfortunately a lot of
• 21:17
  Speaker 3: these drops just vanished. And that's it. It's over. And
• 21:21
  Speaker 3: then there's David, David from Winter Park floor. So I
• 21:24
  Speaker 3: remember doing a double take at this event, the Malor
• 21:28
  Speaker 3: meet and greet, the last one we did in Boston,
• 21:30
  Speaker 3: by the way, the lost official we didn't want. I
• 21:32
  Speaker 3: did one on the streets of Boston after that, in
• 21:34
  Speaker 3: the North End, but this was before that. So I
• 21:36
  Speaker 3: remember doing a double take. And when he told me
• 21:39
  Speaker 3: how far he had driven. You see, David got in
• 21:44
  Speaker 3: the car and drove thirteen hundred miles from Winter Park,
• 21:48
  Speaker 3: Florida to Boston. He did it to spend a couple
• 21:52
  Speaker 3: of hours at a bar with a bunch of strangers and.
• 21:58
  Speaker 1: Here I am. I'm out there shape.
• 22:00
  Speaker 3: Hands and kissing babies and all that, and we're all
• 22:03
  Speaker 3: telling stories and trying to soak it all in. And
• 22:07
  Speaker 3: he was there, he was involved in all of it.
• 22:09
  Speaker 3: That's not casual fandom. That is devotion, bordering on madness.
• 22:15
  Speaker 3: The good kind, the good kind, all right. And so
• 22:19
  Speaker 3: David in my interactions, he loved to talk about sports gambling.
• 22:25
  Speaker 3: He was a big gamba. He would drive out to Vegas.
• 22:28
  Speaker 3: There was a casino and I think it was Biloxi, Mississippi.
• 22:31
  Speaker 3: He would drive over there because that was like the
• 22:33
  Speaker 3: big one that this back before Florida had legalizing gambling.
• 22:36
  Speaker 3: He loved the angles, the bad beats, the mythology of
• 22:40
  Speaker 3: it all. And somewhere along the way, my man David
• 22:45
  Speaker 3: in from Winter Park, Florida, invented Roscoe the Parrot, a
• 22:49
  Speaker 3: character that lived on the airwaves so vividly as any
• 22:55
  Speaker 3: flesh and blood collar. So when David walked into the
• 22:59
  Speaker 3: cask and flagging, I asked him the obvious question. I said, David,
• 23:05
  Speaker 3: where's Roscoe? So where's Roscoe at now? Without missing a beat,
• 23:11
  Speaker 3: he said, it's He's.
• 23:12
  Speaker 1: In my car. You want to meet him?
• 23:15
  Speaker 3: Yes?
• 23:15
  Speaker 1: Hell, yes, no. I assumed, rather foolishly that this was metaphorical.
• 23:22
  Speaker 3: Well, David disappeared, and I went back to forcing myself
• 23:26
  Speaker 3: to socialize at the Malor meet and greet. We did there,
• 23:28
  Speaker 3: doing the awkward introvert dance, the devil's dance of smiling
• 23:33
  Speaker 3: and nodding and trying not to look like I wanted
• 23:36
  Speaker 3: to crawl under the nearest barstool or there's just table now.
• 23:41
  Speaker 3: A few minutes later, as I was busy schmoozing, David
• 23:47
  Speaker 3: returned from he had parked down the street. He returned
• 23:51
  Speaker 3: and I saw him. He didn't have anything in his hands.
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: I said, well, where's Roscoe. No Roscoe, I asked.
• 23:58
  Speaker 3: And that That's when he reached behind his back, very dramatically,
• 24:04
  Speaker 3: with a big smile on his face, and he pulled
• 24:06
  Speaker 3: out a stuffed parrot, but kind you would buy it
• 24:10
  Speaker 3: like the San Diego Zoo gift shop, and he had
• 24:14
  Speaker 3: tucked it into the back of his pants like contraband.
• 24:17
  Speaker 3: And then without warning, he started talking in a parrot voice.
• 24:24
  Speaker 3: I'm not making this up. Those that were there, No,
• 24:28
  Speaker 3: those that were there, no commitment timing zero shame. That
• 24:34
  Speaker 3: is Radio Gold, even though it wasn't on the radio.
• 24:37
  Speaker 3: That was Radio Goal. So David wanted me also to
• 24:42
  Speaker 3: partner with him on the million dollar NFL contest in
• 24:47
  Speaker 3: Vegas where they pick NFL winners and all that. So
• 24:52
  Speaker 3: I had to decline that because of a TV deal
• 24:55
  Speaker 3: I had at the time and I didn't want to
• 24:57
  Speaker 3: step on any toes and all that. And so my
• 25:00
  Speaker 3: picks I gave out on TV.
• 25:04
  Speaker 1: So they paid me for that, So I couldn't give
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: them out even though it was a contest. It was
• 25:08
  Speaker 1: just I didn't do it. So I could have checked with.
• 25:11
  Speaker 3: The lawyers and it may have been able to work out,
• 25:13
  Speaker 3: but I chose not to do that.
• 25:15
  Speaker 1: And so.
• 25:17
  Speaker 3: The fact that he was willing to bankroll it was
• 25:20
  Speaker 3: thousands of dollars to get in on this and he
• 25:22
  Speaker 3: was willing to bankroll it told.
• 25:24
  Speaker 1: Me like he really is.
• 25:25
  Speaker 3: I mean, he wants it. And they drove all those miles.
• 25:28
  Speaker 3: He wasn't like half stepping. He pushed all his chips
• 25:33
  Speaker 3: to the center of the table. And now knowing how
• 25:36
  Speaker 3: this story seems to have ended, based on what I
• 25:41
  Speaker 3: have come across here on the interweb, those memories hit
• 25:44
  Speaker 3: a little different. The jokes don't land quite the same,
• 25:48
  Speaker 3: the laughter echoes a little differently. There's something uniquely sad
• 25:54
  Speaker 3: about dying quietly when you once had so much much
• 26:00
  Speaker 3: energy and all that stuff, And even if that space
• 26:05
  Speaker 3: was just a few minutes of airtime in the middle
• 26:07
  Speaker 3: of the night. And he made some friends with some
• 26:11
  Speaker 3: of you guys on social media. I know that he
• 26:13
  Speaker 3: would interact with fans of the show and the Mallard Militia,
• 26:16
  Speaker 3: Shane and des Moines, and I believe of alf and
• 26:19
  Speaker 3: even Terry and some of these these guys interacted with
• 26:22
  Speaker 3: with David. And it's the old idiom come to life
• 26:27
  Speaker 3: right here today, gone tomorrow, and the world barely breaks stride.
• 26:31
  Speaker 3: But we in the overnight radio realm.
• 26:36
  Speaker 1: Right in the overnight radio room, we remember, and the
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: Malard Militia remembers.
• 26:41
  Speaker 3: And so somewhere in the great after hours bar in
• 26:45
  Speaker 3: the sky, I like I'd like to imagine that David
• 26:49
  Speaker 3: is holding court with Roscoe the stuff parrot right nearby.
• 26:54
  Speaker 3: He's talking trash and a parrot voice, and having a
• 26:57
  Speaker 3: cold one with Jimmy Ray from Ye Bye Bye, or
• 27:01
  Speaker 3: smoking some cigarettes some new Ports with Genie and Medford
• 27:06
  Speaker 3: and masshole Mickey's arguing a point that makes no sense
• 27:10
  Speaker 3: at all, but he's masshole Mickey.
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: And maybe Matt.
• 27:13
  Speaker 3: The Raider Warrior a's Tom Brady rose Fan, the great boy.
• 27:18
  Speaker 3: I miss him too, Matt the Warrior Raider A's Tom
• 27:21
  Speaker 3: Brady rose Fan. What a legend is nodding along loudly
• 27:25
  Speaker 3: agreeing with himself, which he often did.
• 27:28
  Speaker 1: But that's the thing about.
• 27:30
  Speaker 3: These voices, right, they really they don't really disappear, you know,
• 27:35
  Speaker 3: they just they stop calling. I know, And so again,
• 27:40
  Speaker 3: sad sad story appears based on the investigation and no
• 27:46
  Speaker 3: other way to get hold of this person and nothing
• 27:48
  Speaker 3: else working, and the obituary and the timing and all
• 27:51
  Speaker 3: that rest easy Roscoe and David and all that. A
• 27:54
  Speaker 3: guy that drove thirteen hundred miles to not go on
• 27:59
  Speaker 3: the radio just to hang out with a bunch of
• 28:02
  Speaker 3: radio fans and my fat ass, that alone earns you
• 28:07
  Speaker 3: a permanent seat at the.
• 28:10
  Speaker 1: Malard Militia Bar. So there is that anyway We'll get
• 28:14
  Speaker 1: out on that.
• 28:15
  Speaker 3: Don't forget Benny Versus the Penny available for you on YouTube.
• 28:19
  Speaker 1: Two episodes. Two episodes.
• 28:21
  Speaker 3: Watch it today Friday, Sunday before kickoff, but Benny Vspenny
• 28:26
  Speaker 3: on YouTube. If you want to watch monologues of the
• 28:29
  Speaker 3: radio show, you can do that care of Ben Mahler
• 28:34
  Speaker 3: Show on the YouTube. So two channels there and we'll
• 28:40
  Speaker 3: hopefully have at some point here Ask Ben. This weekend
• 28:43
  Speaker 3: there will be an Ask Ben, so follow the social
• 28:46
  Speaker 3: media accounts will try to get you in on that answer.
• 28:48
  Speaker 3: Some of your questions turn on the notifications on X
• 28:52
  Speaker 3: I can tell who has the notifications on and.
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: Who doesn't have the notifications on it.
• 28:58
  Speaker 3: Some of you guys always respond round and it usually
• 29:01
  Speaker 3: takes a little while. I've noticed recently there's like a
• 29:04
  Speaker 3: warm up time to get the questions going on Ask
• 29:08
  Speaker 3: but less so on Facebook. Less so on Facebook. It
• 29:12
  Speaker 3: seems like on Facebook the Facebook page is Ben Malor's
• 29:15
  Speaker 3: show Instagram Ben Maller on Fox. But on the Facebook
• 29:18
  Speaker 3: page it does seem like that moves a little quicker.
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: It moves.
• 29:24
  Speaker 3: Are just people on there more engaged. I don't know
• 29:26
  Speaker 3: what's going on.
• 29:27
  Speaker 1: I have no idea. Anyway, have a wonderful weekend.
• 29:30
  Speaker 3: We'll have new episodes on Saturday and Sunday and we
• 29:34
  Speaker 3: will catch you then got a murder.
• 29:38
  Speaker 1: I gotta go