Latest / The Ben Maller Show / Hour 3 - The Haggling Game

Transcript

Hour 3 - The Haggling Game · The Ben Maller Show

0:00
Speaker 1: Dingo. It's our numb Bird three hour three of the
0:06
Speaker 1: Original Recipe podcast. Major League Baseball. A topic of conversation
0:11
Speaker 1: the Dodgers' latest free agent pickup, Roki Sazaki. He was
0:16
Speaker 1: asked if he wanted to be a Michael Jordan like
0:20
Speaker 1: player in his career or a Kevin Durant like player
0:24
Speaker 1: from an opposing team? What are the reasons behind that? Also,
0:28
Speaker 1: Pete Alonso is he heading to Toronto? And Ichiro has
0:32
Speaker 1: a offer to the baseball writer that did not vote
0:37
Speaker 1: for him for the Hall of Fame. We'll get to
0:39
Speaker 1: all that and more right now. It's our number three
0:45
Speaker 1: playing the game, the haggling game. Welcome in the beginning
0:51
Speaker 1: of another hour of the Ben Mather Show. We are
0:55
Speaker 1: in the air Ay where brothers and sisters in sports
1:03
Speaker 1: talk as we roll on and roll strong, coast to coast, border,
1:09
Speaker 1: the border and beyond on the beast and absurdly powerful
1:14
Speaker 1: microphones of fs are emminating live from the Twister as
1:21
Speaker 1: we twist words, words and words. We're broadcasting live from
1:26
Speaker 1: the Tiraq dot Com studios. Tyraq dot Com will help
1:29
Speaker 1: you get there and unmatched selection, fast free shipping, free
1:33
Speaker 1: road hazard protection, and over ten thousand recommended installers tyraq
1:41
Speaker 1: dot com The Way Tire Buying show.
1:46
Speaker 2: B.
1:47
Speaker 1: So I leave this hour, We're gonna change it up
1:49
Speaker 1: a little bit. I realized that we are in the
1:51
Speaker 1: middle of the NFL playoffs, but there's a couple of
1:55
Speaker 1: stories in baseball that caught my attention, and I thought,
1:57
Speaker 1: why don't we change it up a little bit this
1:59
Speaker 1: hour and talk some baseball. And our lead is from
2:04
Speaker 1: diamond adjacent. We are less than a month from playball.
2:11
Speaker 1: Pitchers and catchers will report to spring training in a
2:13
Speaker 1: couple of weeks, and then the first spring training game
2:16
Speaker 1: is February twentieth in the Cactus League, and then shortly
2:20
Speaker 1: after that in the Grapefruit League. There will be spring
2:22
Speaker 1: training games. So things are settling in the calm before
2:27
Speaker 1: the storm of Major League Baseball, when each team will
2:30
Speaker 1: play including spring training, about two hundred games before the
2:34
Speaker 1: playoffs start. But some interesting dirt from the post mortem
2:38
Speaker 1: on one of the bigger free agent signings of the offseason.
2:41
Speaker 1: If you did not see this, maybe not. We're getting
2:45
Speaker 1: some new intel on the negotiation for the latest Japanese
2:50
Speaker 1: phenom that chose to sign in Los Angeles, Roki Sazaki.
2:57
Speaker 1: He received a pretty big time. He's got no major
3:01
Speaker 1: league experience, obviously from the Dodgers, and we've learned about
3:06
Speaker 1: the negotiation. He was talking to the Blue Jays, the Dodgers,
3:09
Speaker 1: the Padres, some other teams, and he received a basketball
3:13
Speaker 1: related line of questioning from teams. Throughout free agency, there
3:18
Speaker 1: was a story going around, if you saw this or not,
3:21
Speaker 1: caught my attention that some organizations asked Sazaki if he
3:27
Speaker 1: was interested in following the career path of Kevin Durant
3:32
Speaker 1: or Michael Jordan, wanting to figure out if he was
3:36
Speaker 1: going to join a super team or did he want
3:38
Speaker 1: to help build his own super team. So let us
3:43
Speaker 1: discuss the question major League Baseball recruiting Dodd would turned
3:49
Speaker 1: out to be Dodger pitcher Roki Sazaki asking him if
3:54
Speaker 1: he wanted to be Michael Jordan or Kevin Durant. What
3:57
Speaker 1: are the reasons for this? So I've got star Wars,
4:04
Speaker 1: rotten bananas, and toad venom, and we will combine all
4:11
Speaker 1: of these things together and we are going to make
4:16
Speaker 1: garlic mashed potatoes, which I've been making a lot lately.
4:21
Speaker 1: I found this, I told you I found this recipe
4:24
Speaker 1: it's from one of my favorite restaurants. It's in San Francisco.
4:26
Speaker 1: They used to have a place in La called The
4:28
Speaker 1: Stink and Rose. Oh so good. Get a rip off recipe?
4:31
Speaker 1: All right? So, first of all, my first thought on
4:34
Speaker 1: this question, what are the reasons that somebody would ask
4:38
Speaker 1: Rokie Sazaki if he wanted to be Michael Jordan or
4:40
Speaker 1: Kevin Durant. Well, it's desperate times call for desperate measure.
4:43
Speaker 1: It's kind of obvious right now it is more likely
4:46
Speaker 1: than not. After several minutes of deliberation, I've determined this
4:50
Speaker 1: is the Padres that probably did this. They have been
4:53
Speaker 1: pants all off season by the Doyers. In fact, every team,
5:00
Speaker 1: every single team in baseball has been publicly humiliated by
5:06
Speaker 1: the bums. The Big Blue Wrecking Crew is making all
5:11
Speaker 1: the teams look bad with their devilish charm and deferred money.
5:16
Speaker 1: So this mystery team, I think it's the Padres, but
5:21
Speaker 1: whoever they are, they turned to Star Wars Tactics. Star
5:27
Speaker 1: Wars Tactics with Sazaki. Now what do I mean by that?
5:31
Speaker 1: That's pretty simple here. This is if you if you
5:33
Speaker 1: know the Star Wars films, and I'm old, so I
5:36
Speaker 1: only like the first three. But it's a Jedi mind trick, right,
5:40
Speaker 1: the Jedi mind trick attempting to implant suggestion into the
5:46
Speaker 1: mind of Sazaki, and it's rather weak. And you talk
5:51
Speaker 1: about not hitting the bulls eye. Let me explain something.
5:56
Speaker 1: So ro Ki Sazaki, I don't know much about him.
5:59
Speaker 1: I did some research because I have nothing but time.
6:03
Speaker 1: And he's from a town in Japan of eighteen thousand people.
6:07
Speaker 1: He didn't grow up in America. Why would he give
6:11
Speaker 1: a rats ass whether or not he was Kevin Durant
6:16
Speaker 1: or Michael Jordan. Tell me you don't understand who you're
6:21
Speaker 1: talking to your target audience without telling me you don't
6:26
Speaker 1: understand your target audience. My god, I mean absolute horse
6:31
Speaker 1: feather feathers is what it is. Seriously, you think Sazaki
6:35
Speaker 1: was a big NBA fan growing up, and like, oh,
6:38
Speaker 1: Michael Jordan, he's what is he? Twenty three years old?
6:41
Speaker 1: Michael Jordan's last year in the NBA was before he
6:45
Speaker 1: was even alive, most likely right or right around that time.
6:49
Speaker 1: I think Jordan last played in twenty oh two or
6:51
Speaker 1: twenty oh three, something along those lines. Now, secondly to
6:56
Speaker 1: the unemployment line, we go, we're hearing that as spring
7:00
Speaker 1: training gets closer, negotiations are heating up between free agent
7:06
Speaker 1: former Mets star Pete Alonzo, the Polar Bear Peter Alonzo
7:11
Speaker 1: and Oha the Toronto Blue Jays. Fox are said to
7:19
Speaker 1: be quote advancing qulose quote. Two sides are quote deep
7:26
Speaker 1: in contract talks. However, the deal is not done yet.
7:30
Speaker 1: The deal is not done yet. So Peter Alonso, as
7:34
Speaker 1: we are doing the show right now in this moment,
7:38
Speaker 1: Peter Alonso is in advanced talks with the Blue Jays.
7:43
Speaker 1: Are you surprised by this? So I am not. It's
7:49
Speaker 1: one of those deals getting later early. Pete Alonzo and
7:52
Speaker 1: Scott Morris's agent rejected rejected a three year contract offer
8:01
Speaker 1: from the Mets. So Alonzo rejects a three year offer
8:04
Speaker 1: from the Mets, and they'd offered him a seven year
8:07
Speaker 1: deal the year before. And the Mets are like, well,
8:10
Speaker 1: we'll give you a three year deal, pay a lot
8:11
Speaker 1: of money each year. You can get out of the
8:13
Speaker 1: contract every year. And he said, I don't want that.
8:16
Speaker 1: And so the Mets claim they've moved on and Toronto
8:18
Speaker 1: is a temporary solution if he goes there to a
8:22
Speaker 1: long term problem, A temporary solution to a long terruno
8:26
Speaker 1: like we imagine it will be if he does sign
8:29
Speaker 1: with the Blue Jays, it'll be a deal with a
8:31
Speaker 1: bunch of opt outs. And this has become the norm.
8:35
Speaker 1: You look at Carlos career, the cheating as one one
8:39
Speaker 1: thousand and two, one thousand hole from Houston, he went
8:42
Speaker 1: to Minnesota. Didn't want to go to Minnesota, but he
8:44
Speaker 1: went there and he stayed there. And Matt Chapman went
8:47
Speaker 1: to the Giants. He didn't really want to go there,
8:49
Speaker 1: but he ended up staying there. And so there's these
8:53
Speaker 1: deals that have popped up in recent years where guys
8:56
Speaker 1: get caught where nobody wants them, and so they have
8:59
Speaker 1: to go to a place they don't really want to
9:01
Speaker 1: go because that's the only place they can go. It's
9:04
Speaker 1: usually not a contender. And if you look at Alonzo right,
9:10
Speaker 1: he's getting squeezed because of the double whamy. Now what
9:14
Speaker 1: is the double whamy? I'll tell you he's a one
9:17
Speaker 1: tool player. That's the first problem. All he does is
9:21
Speaker 1: hit home runs, and he's middle aged. He didn't play well.
9:25
Speaker 1: The last year's numbers have gone down. That is a
9:27
Speaker 1: tough combo meal and so at this point. If you're
9:30
Speaker 1: Peed Alonzo, you gotta pivot right. You're you're you're getting
9:33
Speaker 1: rotten bananas. And as my mom taught me when I
9:36
Speaker 1: was a little kid, when you get rotten, when when
9:38
Speaker 1: the bananas go bad? Ben banana bread, banana bread, that's
9:42
Speaker 1: Nate banana bread. So that's what Peter Alonzo is looking new.
9:45
Speaker 1: He wants to make some nice, delicious Canadian banana bread.
9:48
Speaker 1: Now I would advise him to not make banana bread
9:51
Speaker 1: and just eat great the greatest thing ever to come
9:53
Speaker 1: out of Canada poutine like that. You got to get
9:57
Speaker 1: that Canadian poutine. That's where it's at. So that's what
10:01
Speaker 1: Alonzo's going to do here. Get poutine, get banana bread,
10:05
Speaker 1: go to Toronto and play well and then hope that
10:09
Speaker 1: they trade you to a contender at the deadline. And
10:13
Speaker 1: if not, if you play bad, you don't opt out
10:16
Speaker 1: of the contract, and then that's that all right, Final five.
10:20
Speaker 1: So Eachiro, each yourro Ichiro Suzuki. I'd have heard about him.
10:25
Speaker 1: He's a Hall of Famer, and he said that he
10:29
Speaker 1: would like to make an offer. Yeah, I wants to
10:31
Speaker 1: make an offer to a baseball I think we have
10:34
Speaker 1: the audio on this we have the audio. I think
10:35
Speaker 1: we have the audio on this. So this is the
10:38
Speaker 1: translator because Itchro I know he speaks English, but he
10:41
Speaker 1: still uses a translator. I guess I don't know why,
10:43
Speaker 1: but whatever, whatever floats your boat. And so he's at
10:46
Speaker 1: the Hall of Fame news conference and Eachiro he had
10:51
Speaker 1: a message through his interpreter for the person that did
10:55
Speaker 1: not vote for him for the Hall of Fame. Let's
10:58
Speaker 1: take a listen, all right, apparently we do not have
11:03
Speaker 1: said audio. Well. Each Row said through his interpreter that
11:07
Speaker 1: he wanted to have a drink. He wanted to have
11:09
Speaker 1: a drink. We have it. Now, we have it. I'd
11:11
Speaker 1: better late than ever, but here it is.
11:12
Speaker 3: I was able to receive many votes from the writers
11:15
Speaker 3: and grateful for them.
11:17
Speaker 1: There's one writer.
11:19
Speaker 3: That I wasn't able to get a vote from. I
11:24
Speaker 3: would like to invite him over to my house and
11:30
Speaker 3: we have a drink together and we'll have a good chat.
11:35
Speaker 3: Very very grateful to be here, and thank you.
11:40
Speaker 1: Fun. So each Row that was an interpreter having fun.
11:42
Speaker 1: But I think his interpreter has like he needs a
11:46
Speaker 1: throat lozenge or something like that. Doesn't he need He's
11:48
Speaker 1: got maybe garlic. All right, So each Row says he
11:50
Speaker 1: wants to have a drink with the writer who did
11:53
Speaker 1: not vote for him for the Hall of Fame. A
11:56
Speaker 1: should the writer take him up on that? And B
11:58
Speaker 1: how would that go? All right? So, uh, only if
12:03
Speaker 1: each Row flies him to Japan, then you'd be like,
12:05
Speaker 1: all right, fly me round trip to Japan. I want
12:09
Speaker 1: like a week vacation to visit Japan. Then I'm good.
12:12
Speaker 1: Otherwise forget about it. But they could also make a
12:15
Speaker 1: made for TV miniseries like I have this vision in
12:20
Speaker 1: my head. I'm an ideas guy, So how about this?
12:24
Speaker 1: This is like a Netflix special. Each Road goes to
12:26
Speaker 1: the hoot Nanny with three baseball scribes. They eat drink ayahuasca,
12:34
Speaker 1: you know, the psychedelic tea with Joe Rogan and he's
12:37
Speaker 1: there as well, he's like the celebrity add on. They
12:40
Speaker 1: then smoke some toad venom, and at the very end
12:44
Speaker 1: of the third episode, they go old school TV game
12:49
Speaker 1: show to tell the truth. Will the real voter who
12:53
Speaker 1: did not cast a ballot for each Row please stand up?
12:58
Speaker 1: And the whole things pointless. Baseball writers have a hair
13:05
Speaker 1: up their tailpiece when it comes to voting. One hundred percent.
13:09
Speaker 1: I am convinced that somebody screwed up. Somebody was not
13:13
Speaker 1: supposed to vote for Mariano Rivera, and they accidentally voted
13:16
Speaker 1: for him the year that he got one hundred percent,
13:19
Speaker 1: and they're bitter about that to this day. But Babe
13:21
Speaker 1: Ruth never got one hundred percent, Hank Aaron didn't get
13:24
Speaker 1: one hundred percent. Nobody, nobody has gotten one hundred percent.
13:29
Speaker 1: So it's just the way they do things. It's the
13:32
Speaker 1: ridiculousness of the baseball writers blowing smoke. So there is that,
13:37
Speaker 1: right is the Ben Malard Show. There's some other audio
13:41
Speaker 1: that we'll play later in the hour. I don't wanna
13:43
Speaker 1: get ahead of the clock here, I'll screw the clock
13:46
Speaker 1: up and I am on time. Mallard by the clock
13:48
Speaker 1: for the clock, plausibly all about the clock. Don't want
13:51
Speaker 1: to feel the pinch, the pinch of time. So we'll
13:55
Speaker 1: move on with that. But we'll take your calls right
13:57
Speaker 1: now eight seven, seven ninety nine on Fox. Well, you
14:00
Speaker 1: in to the conversation, and it was great to see
14:03
Speaker 1: my guy Fats in Philadelphia, who is up listening to
14:07
Speaker 1: the show. And it's one of the great moments. And
14:11
Speaker 1: I said, it's one of the top five moments if
14:12
Speaker 1: you want to see it, if you're new to the show.
14:14
Speaker 1: Years ago during COVID Fats in Philadelphia, one of our
14:19
Speaker 1: big super fans in Philly and during the NFL Draft,
14:24
Speaker 1: he lit himself on fire and screen my name literally
14:29
Speaker 1: lit his chest on fire. And if you want to
14:32
Speaker 1: see Fats and he's really lives up to his nickname Fats.
14:35
Speaker 1: I re sent it out on X so you can
14:39
Speaker 1: check that out on my feed at Ben Mallard. That's
14:42
Speaker 1: at Ben Mallone also sent comments in be part of
14:45
Speaker 1: the program if you would like, on the X machine
14:48
Speaker 1: at Ben Maller. And we'll have right now the Mallor
14:54
Speaker 1: Riddle of the day, the malor Riddle of the day.
14:57
Speaker 1: Here's the Mallor riddle of the day. A senator has
15:03
Speaker 1: accused the Los Angeles Dodgers of blank. Again, a senator
15:10
Speaker 1: has accused the Los Angeles Dodgers of blank. That is
15:15
Speaker 1: the malor riddle of the day. The answer, We'll get
15:20
Speaker 1: to it and we will do it next.
15:26
Speaker 4: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Maller
15:28
Speaker 4: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific on
15:32
Speaker 4: Fox Sports Radio and the iHeartRadio app Bill Miller.
15:36
Speaker 1: That would be me unless it's not. But hanging out
15:39
Speaker 1: with you all night long. Lame jokes of the week
15:42
Speaker 1: will be coming up later this hour. You can saleo
15:46
Speaker 1: to Ben at Ben Mahller on the live show all
15:50
Speaker 1: night Long under the cover of darkness at Ben Mahller
15:53
Speaker 1: on X Kobeloop is in the producer's chair. Uh Bronco fan,
15:59
Speaker 1: that's un Go fan. And Lorraine A he's hanging out
16:05
Speaker 1: on the buttons. He's right there, a bunch of buttons
16:09
Speaker 1: in front of her and a bunch of lights and
16:12
Speaker 1: there's a VU meter all of that. You can say
16:15
Speaker 1: hello to Lorraina at FSR Tech Queen. Now back to
16:19
Speaker 1: the non stop chatterbox. Well, actually I do stop chattering occasionally.
16:27
Speaker 1: It does not all all the time. There's some pauses
16:30
Speaker 1: in there as well. That does happen. That's right, David
16:36
Speaker 1: from Pennsylvania, right since says, who the hell is e dog?
16:39
Speaker 1: Terrible terrible call fan of the Mets and Yankees. You
16:42
Speaker 1: can't do that and that. Then he's in the Jerseys
16:46
Speaker 1: and continues to mess up your punchline. Then he goes
16:50
Speaker 1: on and blah blah, blah b he fed up my
16:53
Speaker 1: whole mood. So e dog, I want and we have
16:57
Speaker 1: not heard from his girl friend. She is not he
17:01
Speaker 1: said earlier. He dog said that Melissa was going to
17:03
Speaker 1: call up and her dad's Bobby g But we have
17:06
Speaker 1: not heard from Melissa or or Bobby. Let's go to
17:09
Speaker 1: Let's go with the phones. So we'll go to Let's
17:10
Speaker 1: go to Tucson and we'll say hello to Jason who's
17:15
Speaker 1: in the Grand Canyon. Say hello, Jason, welcome, Hey.
17:19
Speaker 5: How you doing? Uh, mister Mallard, it's such an honor
17:24
Speaker 5: because I'm a truck driver. However, tonight I'm off and
17:28
Speaker 5: I've had a few beers, and I really appreciate you
17:31
Speaker 5: so much. I've been listening to you since Malor Malaysia
17:36
Speaker 5: twenty sixteen. I think that was there was that one
17:40
Speaker 5: moment where I became a member, but I really want
17:44
Speaker 5: to be sworn in.
17:47
Speaker 1: Well, I'm gonna make your dream come true. That was
17:50
Speaker 1: Marcel right, Yeah, that was I believe that was. What
17:55
Speaker 1: kind of beer are you drinking over there? What do
17:57
Speaker 1: you got going on? What kind of beer you got Jason?
17:59
Speaker 5: What kind of Bruce drey in mankind? It's hefadvice in
18:06
Speaker 5: ten forty six German beer.
18:09
Speaker 1: Oh you're going with that authentic German beer. That's great.
18:12
Speaker 1: Are you eating anything? Are you just drinking the beer?
18:14
Speaker 1: Anything that?
18:15
Speaker 5: Well? Well then I go back to the cours light.
18:18
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, well you gotta mix it off, you know
18:20
Speaker 1: that stuff that Yeah, that's the of course lies a
18:22
Speaker 1: little cheaper than the others, you know, that's hope. I
18:25
Speaker 1: understand completely. I got you. Well, thank you for listening
18:28
Speaker 1: all these years.
18:28
Speaker 4: Man.
18:28
Speaker 1: That goes back a long time, twenty sixteen. That's a
18:31
Speaker 1: that's a good run. All right, Well just repeat after me.
18:34
Speaker 1: It's very simple. I'm gonna swear you in right now,
18:37
Speaker 1: Jason live on the radio, AH six hundred six hundred
18:41
Speaker 1: radio stations, and the satellite radio and the internet, the
18:45
Speaker 1: whole thing. I mean, world famous. Everyone's gonna know your name.
18:48
Speaker 1: Ozzie was right now is out in Western Australia. There's
18:51
Speaker 1: a bunch of kangaroos around. He's turning up the audio
18:54
Speaker 1: because he wants to hear you.
18:55
Speaker 5: I want to say beer, beer drinking. Brian. A lot
18:58
Speaker 5: of people forget about him. I miss him, and he
19:03
Speaker 5: was blind. Scott did a real number on that.
19:07
Speaker 1: Guy Scott Blind Scott has done a number on a
19:11
Speaker 1: number of people. But you're bringing Brian, one of the
19:13
Speaker 1: greats on the show. And I think you probably heard
19:16
Speaker 1: did you hear Genie and Medford back in those days, Jason, you.
19:19
Speaker 5: Probably don't know about malor Malaysia right around that. And
19:26
Speaker 5: I really I want to say that sometimes from Oregon
19:32
Speaker 5: originally U Brian Wheeler was such a class act.
19:40
Speaker 1: I love Wheels. You know we were buddies. Did you
19:43
Speaker 1: know that we used to you know, we come to
19:46
Speaker 1: LA with the Blazers. We hang out and actually visited
19:49
Speaker 1: your ben. Most people don't want to be my friend,
19:52
Speaker 1: but he was one that did. He used to listen
19:54
Speaker 1: to show a lot of those NBA guys. They travel
19:57
Speaker 1: is obviously fly after games and stuff. So over the
20:00
Speaker 1: there's a lot of those guys have listened to the show.
20:01
Speaker 1: So it's it's great. He would he would say, Jason, Jason.
20:05
Speaker 1: He would say, Jason that this call is amazing, astonishing
20:10
Speaker 1: and astounding, is what he would say, because you do
20:13
Speaker 1: those alliterations.
20:14
Speaker 5: Let me see you guys everywhere all over the place.
20:18
Speaker 1: Just all right, all right, well let's do the place.
20:19
Speaker 1: We must do the oath. Now you're buggarting the time.
20:21
Speaker 1: There's people that want to talk. Let's do the oath.
20:23
Speaker 1: Are you ready, Jason all I'm ready. I state your name. I, Jason,
20:30
Speaker 1: do solemnly swear, solemnly swear that I will support and
20:36
Speaker 1: defend the Ben Malor show.
20:39
Speaker 5: And support and defend the Ben Mallard Shore.
20:43
Speaker 1: Against all enemies, against all enemies, foreign and domestic.
20:50
Speaker 5: Foreign and the mesket.
20:53
Speaker 1: And then I will obey the orders, and I will
20:57
Speaker 1: obey the orders to peacefully fight back, to peacefully back
21:04
Speaker 1: against hostile attacks.
21:06
Speaker 5: Against hostile attacks.
21:08
Speaker 1: From rival sports gas bags and blowhards.
21:12
Speaker 5: From rival from rival gas bags. And uh, nobody that
21:21
Speaker 5: goes against the Ben Veeller ship.
21:24
Speaker 1: That was really well, said, uh, Lorenda? Does he pass
21:28
Speaker 1: the test here? Lorena? I don't know.
21:30
Speaker 4: I thought it was beautiful at the he said domestic.
21:35
Speaker 1: Yes, you really nailed. You know what that is? That's
21:38
Speaker 1: that German beer. Well, congratulations, Jason, you are now sworn
21:42
Speaker 1: in in honor of the Great Lakes. Peter in Montana
21:45
Speaker 1: who demanded Peter said, I need an oath. You need
21:48
Speaker 1: an oath. You are now sworn in. Congratulations. All right, guys,
21:54
Speaker 1: all right, don't don't drive anywhere. Stay home, don't go anywhere.
21:57
Speaker 1: He did that so gracefully, very smooth. He's now a
22:01
Speaker 1: virtual card carring member of the Malla Militia. I remember,
22:04
Speaker 1: the Malord Militia is a peaceful organization. But every once
22:08
Speaker 1: in a while, when my good name is sullied and
22:12
Speaker 1: this show is under attack by rival programs, we must
22:16
Speaker 1: form Voltron and we fight cyber warfare. Cyber warfare. So
22:22
Speaker 1: thank you to Jason and Tucson. Let's go to Andrea,
22:25
Speaker 1: who's in Berkeley and she is up next. Hello Andrea, Welcome.
22:29
Speaker 2: Hello Ben, how are you.
22:31
Speaker 1: You know Andrew. She's a famous caller on the show.
22:33
Speaker 1: She's got the star charge, she's the sports sorceress, the
22:36
Speaker 1: astrology lady, all of those things.
22:39
Speaker 2: Yes, I love those names. Yes, well, welcome, welcome, How
22:44
Speaker 2: are you?
22:46
Speaker 1: If I was any better, I would be sleeping, But
22:50
Speaker 1: I'm here and I like staying up lates sory.
22:53
Speaker 2: No, I'm a night owl two. And you know I
22:57
Speaker 2: appreciate the company.
22:59
Speaker 1: Well, the most creative people, as you know, Andrea work
23:01
Speaker 1: at night the great creative peace could.
23:03
Speaker 2: That and it's I know that personally and professionally, so
23:07
Speaker 2: that's really cool. And you're totally right on about either
23:11
Speaker 2: you're a Mets fan or Yankees fan in New York.
23:14
Speaker 2: You're not both. And you know what always got me
23:17
Speaker 2: was like, sometimes I go to like an Asia Giants game,
23:20
Speaker 2: I see the split hats, I have the A's signature
23:24
Speaker 2: like logo on one side in the Giants. It's like,
23:26
Speaker 2: you'll never ever keep hat in New York. Nah.
23:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you shouldn't see that in San Francisco or Oakland. Yeah,
23:32
Speaker 1: well you won't see it anymore because the A's are gone,
23:35
Speaker 1: but yeah, shouldn't do it. You don't really see it
23:38
Speaker 1: in LA with the Dodgers and the Angels. So it's
23:41
Speaker 1: gotta pick one. Cubs in white Sox. You can't be both,
23:44
Speaker 1: you gotta right.
23:45
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know the Yankees had that evil empire,
23:49
Speaker 2: you know, like name and that said. You know Pete
23:53
Speaker 2: Alonso obviously you know I'm a Metropolitan fan.
23:56
Speaker 1: Ben.
23:57
Speaker 2: I love when you say Metropolitans. And he's a Sagittarius.
24:01
Speaker 2: December seventh, nineteen ninety four, thirty one just had a
24:05
Speaker 2: sadder return of New Beginnings. And you know he's really
24:09
Speaker 2: liked by Mets fans. They really like him. And you
24:12
Speaker 2: might remember he talked about Mercury coming out of retrograde
24:15
Speaker 2: and it helped him break his mid season slump.
24:19
Speaker 1: I do remember that hit one of the big home
24:20
Speaker 1: runs in the playoffs also last year for the Mets
24:23
Speaker 1: against the I think it was against the Brewers if
24:25
Speaker 1: I remember correctly. But yeah, absolutely, yeah, I always.
24:28
Speaker 2: You know, admired that he tuned into the astrology cycles.
24:32
Speaker 2: And you know, I mean, we know sports, and you
24:35
Speaker 2: know it's all a game of you know, like with
24:38
Speaker 2: Scott Boris, he's a Scorpio. He's his agent. November two,
24:42
Speaker 2: nineteen fifty two is Boris. So they're gonna have this
24:45
Speaker 2: power and control thing and play one team against another,
24:48
Speaker 2: and the Toronto Blue Jays against the Mets, and it
24:51
Speaker 2: goes back and forth. And you talked about the previous
24:55
Speaker 2: offers the Mets made him, So you know, Sagittarius are
24:59
Speaker 2: adventurous and he might be curious to see what else
25:03
Speaker 2: is out there on the horizon. But I know myself
25:06
Speaker 2: and Mets fans would really like to see him return.
25:09
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's well, it's a long shot. It is out
25:13
Speaker 1: in the media, so maybe this will inspire the Mets.
25:15
Speaker 1: Maybe it could have been one of those intentional weeks
25:18
Speaker 1: to try to get the Mets to come back and
25:19
Speaker 1: offer him a contract and get him to go back
25:21
Speaker 1: and play for the Mets. Otherwise he wants some other
25:24
Speaker 1: team to offer him a contract because you sign it,
25:26
Speaker 1: you don't sign me. But there doesn't either throw the
25:28
Speaker 1: rumor out. They're either going to sign with Toronto or
25:30
Speaker 1: not right, and maybe he doesn't want to go there,
25:32
Speaker 1: and so he wants somebody else to offer him a contract.
25:35
Speaker 2: It's all, you know, a waiting game. And when you
25:37
Speaker 2: get Scott Morris who's a scorpio, and you know they
25:40
Speaker 2: can really you know, play both sides and make it
25:44
Speaker 2: really interesting and to see, you know me, the best
25:47
Speaker 2: team win. It's just a little power hungry there.
25:51
Speaker 1: Absolutely, we'll have a wonderful weekend, Andrea, thank you so much.
25:55
Speaker 1: And you know you'll watch Benny Versus the Penny this weekend.
25:58
Speaker 2: Absolutely looking forward to it. Dan, you're number one session.
26:01
Speaker 1: Well, thank you. I appreciate that. I know I have you.
26:04
Speaker 1: You're locked in there in the bay. I know you're
26:06
Speaker 1: gonna watch. I thank you. There she goes our friend,
26:10
Speaker 1: friend of the show, Andrea. Time to pay off the
26:13
Speaker 1: mallor riddle of that you thought I forgot, I didn't forget.
26:16
Speaker 1: I just like give you a little more time to answer.
26:18
Speaker 1: Here's the malor riddle of the day. A senator has
26:21
Speaker 1: accused the Doyers of blank. That is the mallor riddle
26:26
Speaker 1: of the day, The malor riddle of the day. I see,
26:30
Speaker 1: does anyone know the answer? We go to the hoyploy
26:35
Speaker 1: the great unlaunched for the answers. Uh, let's see hear.
26:39
Speaker 1: Jay Dot in Utah says, the Dodgers accused of giving
26:42
Speaker 1: fake fire extinguishers out keeping the McRib from being sold.
26:48
Speaker 1: FERG Doog says, designing Tom Looney's wardrobe. No, I'm pretty
26:54
Speaker 1: sure Blind Emmett and Inka Terror along with Blind Scott
26:59
Speaker 1: designed Tom Looney's wardrobe. Who else do we have? Miguel
27:03
Speaker 1: c with Miguel on fire has accused the Dodgers as
27:08
Speaker 1: a center accused the Dodgers of shotenfreude. Who else do
27:11
Speaker 1: we have page Down being communists from King Rory? That's
27:16
Speaker 1: his answer. Andy in lion O Lake says, the senator
27:21
Speaker 1: accused the Dodgers of mishandling funds, and that is the answer.
27:25
Speaker 1: Turning the water heater off for the locker room bidets.
27:30
Speaker 1: All right, let's see kidnapping the Linnbergh. Baby Wow, wait,
27:34
Speaker 1: wait to go. That's old school from the grill. Sergeant
27:38
Speaker 1: Eeke in Roseville, Minnesota said, being cheapskates is the answer.
27:43
Speaker 1: Inca Terra says stealing the nineteen fifty five World Series.
27:47
Speaker 1: Kelly in Des Moines, formerly in Nashville, formerly known as
27:52
Speaker 1: Donut Kelly, now known as Pregnant Kelly says, talking about
27:56
Speaker 1: more than foods, more foods than sports. I think I
28:00
Speaker 1: don't know. Clam writes in says excessive wiping in the
28:05
Speaker 1: team restroom. JT. The wing Man says the answer to
28:09
Speaker 1: the mallet riddle of today keeping all the Dodger dogs
28:12
Speaker 1: hostage from Laker fans. Who else buying a championship from Fudgie?
28:18
Speaker 1: That's his answer. Mark in Santa Monica says, accuse them
28:22
Speaker 1: about rageous prices at the concession stands. While that is
28:26
Speaker 1: guilty as charge. John says, accused the Dodgers of using loopholes.
28:30
Speaker 1: That's his answer. Who else do we have? Page Downt's here.
28:36
Speaker 1: May May and B says the senator accused the Dodgers
28:39
Speaker 1: of being big fat phonies. Wow. All right, see here
28:44
Speaker 1: JT says something along Canadian poutine. All right, Loraina, do
28:48
Speaker 1: you have an answer? Lorrada the Mallard riddle of the day.
28:51
Speaker 1: A senator has accused the Dodgers of blank. Yeah, I
28:54
Speaker 1: already know what this is. Ben.
28:56
Speaker 4: They're accusing them of overcharging for their meatch a lot.
29:00
Speaker 1: Oh is that really? How much do they charge for
29:02
Speaker 1: those like twenty five bucks? That's how much should it cost?
29:06
Speaker 1: Like a reasonable price? You know it's beer with tomato
29:09
Speaker 1: juice pretty much, so like ten bucks? Ten bucks? Yeah,
29:14
Speaker 1: that's ridiculous. Those are Disney prices there. Seriously, who do
29:17
Speaker 1: you think you are? Well, that's incorrect the correct answer.
29:21
Speaker 1: A senator is accused the Dodgers of exploitation of the
29:28
Speaker 1: tax code in California.
29:31
Speaker 6: Yeah, a California state senator who's got to stick up
29:38
Speaker 6: his tookis is taking some action against the Dodgers, saying
29:41
Speaker 6: the Dodgers have been exploiting a lagoon.
29:45
Speaker 1: It's a big word lagoon that was never designed for this.
29:49
Speaker 1: It is a matter of basic equity, the bloviating politicians said.
29:54
Speaker 1: The state senator indicated the Dodgers have deferred one billion
29:59
Speaker 1: dollar in wages over the last five years that this
30:03
Speaker 1: deferral has resulted in a loss of one hundred and
30:07
Speaker 1: thirty eight million in revenue to the state of California.
30:13
Speaker 1: Now that's the quote on that. Now I live in
30:17
Speaker 1: California and I pay my taxes. They overtax you in
30:25
Speaker 1: this state. They don't give you what you should be
30:28
Speaker 1: getting for your taxes. So screw them, screw the politicians,
30:32
Speaker 1: that's what I say. Right, they can't even these politicians
30:36
Speaker 1: can't even keep the water on, and the whole city
30:39
Speaker 1: burns down. And these incompetent politicians, and they have plenty
30:44
Speaker 1: of money. So I don't get my soapbox here. But
30:48
Speaker 1: you know, good for the Dodgers. Yeah, And the reason
30:50
Speaker 1: a lot of players don't want to come to California
30:53
Speaker 1: is because of the taxes. Okay, So if they found
30:56
Speaker 1: a loophole and put in your pie and smoke it, Okay,
31:00
Speaker 1: that's what I want to say. Something else, but we're
31:02
Speaker 1: on the radio. I can't curse in all that. We're
31:04
Speaker 1: gonna get to Big Man's lame jokes of the week,
31:08
Speaker 1: Big Man's lame jokes of the week, And is weed
31:11
Speaker 1: Man there? Do we have our laugh track from Miami.
31:14
Speaker 1: Is he standing by? He is not? Oh no, weed Man,
31:17
Speaker 1: is there a line open? We gotta get a line open,
31:19
Speaker 1: so we there's a line open. I just have tokay. Well,
31:22
Speaker 1: all right, we will have to do all We've been
31:24
Speaker 1: plugging jokes all week long. I know, all right, Well,
31:27
Speaker 1: maybe he fell asleep. If not, we need a fake
31:29
Speaker 1: weed Man. But big Man's lame Jokes of the week.
31:32
Speaker 1: We'll do a wellness check on weed Man. Lame Jokes
31:35
Speaker 1: of the Week is next.
31:36
Speaker 4: Be sure to catch live editions of The Ben Meller
31:39
Speaker 4: Show weekdays at two am Eastern eleven pm Pacific.
31:42
Speaker 3: Live's a lie.
31:49
Speaker 1: My lover Malls, Today's Friday, Today's Friday, Today's Friday. Jerk
31:54
Speaker 1: yourself away.
31:55
Speaker 5: I love you, don't worry, don't worry. It's just take that.
32:00
Speaker 1: That's ol Path. That's twenty five thousand dollars Olpath. Oh yes, yes, yes,
32:07
Speaker 1: that's right there. I don't care. I'm leaving. Goodbye.
32:11
Speaker 2: The show is over.
32:12
Speaker 4: Goodbye.
32:18
Speaker 1: Bill Miller here reminding you that the Ben Mahler Show
32:22
Speaker 1: is saved for posterity's sake, and you can be part
32:27
Speaker 1: of that. I know it's so good. The first time,
32:31
Speaker 1: wait until you hear it the second time. Even better,
32:36
Speaker 1: Right after the show, our podcasts will be going up.
32:38
Speaker 1: If you missed any of today's show, be sure to
32:40
Speaker 1: listen to the podcast. Just search Ben mallor wherever you
32:43
Speaker 1: get your podcast. Be sure to follow and review the
32:46
Speaker 1: podcast rated five stars. Again, just search Ben mallor wherever
32:50
Speaker 1: you get your podcast. You'll find the latest episode and
32:53
Speaker 1: best of version posted right after we get off the air.
32:57
Speaker 1: Ben has also asked me to have you watch his
33:00
Speaker 1: Legling TV show, which will be on all weekend long
33:03
Speaker 1: on Peacock and NBC Sports cable channels. There, Benny Versus
33:09
Speaker 1: the Penny. Get you ready for the NFL weekend. Now
33:11
Speaker 1: back to the jokes.
33:17
Speaker 4: Knock Knock, who's there? Blame Week? Blame week too.
33:20
Speaker 1: It's Big Ben's lame joke of the week and my
33:25
Speaker 1: laugh track Everyone's favorite punching bag from Miami, Miami, Miami.
33:31
Speaker 1: We say hello to weed Man Hippie. Hello, weed Man, Hippie,
33:34
Speaker 1: hear I love you with me. Last we met. You
33:38
Speaker 1: were a little late for work today, weed Man? What happened?
33:41
Speaker 3: Hi?
33:43
Speaker 1: What are you doing?
33:44
Speaker 5: I lost track of time?
33:47
Speaker 1: Are you sleeping? You never sleep? I thought you're weed man,
33:55
Speaker 1: not heroin man. Aron, he'd be sleep a lot. Really,
34:00
Speaker 1: I thought you stay up with you. Meth keeps you. Oh, meth,
34:03
Speaker 1: I screwed that. I got my drugs mixed up. That
34:06
Speaker 1: job by me? All right, here we go, h weed man.
34:09
Speaker 1: These are actual jokes by actual listeners. If you would
34:12
Speaker 1: like to send a joke in, send it care of
34:15
Speaker 1: Ben Mahler Show at gmail dot com, Benmallor Show at
34:19
Speaker 1: gmail dot com, and make sure you put lame jokes
34:23
Speaker 1: or just jokes in the headline. That way, I will
34:25
Speaker 1: be able to take your jokes out of all the
34:28
Speaker 1: other email that I get on the regular and be
34:30
Speaker 1: able to respond to you. All right, Now, Lizzo can
34:34
Speaker 1: hide under a rock. How about that? Why? Well, she
34:40
Speaker 1: actually used to hide under a boulder, but now she
34:42
Speaker 1: can hide under a rock. That's Dennis in Detroit. What
34:48
Speaker 1: did Lizzo say to her doctor when he told her
34:51
Speaker 1: he wanted to talk about her weight?
34:54
Speaker 2: What?
34:56
Speaker 1: Well, Lizzo told the doctor that it was about twenty
34:58
Speaker 1: minutes long and the chairs are too small for her.
35:07
Speaker 1: George and Uvalde, when's the last time he went to
35:09
Speaker 1: the doctor.
35:09
Speaker 3: We made I don't have it a long time.
35:13
Speaker 1: Has it been twenty years since you've been to the doctor. Yeah?
35:17
Speaker 1: Oh man? All right? What did President Trump name his
35:20
Speaker 1: proposed super duper space force doomsday weapon that was so
35:26
Speaker 1: devastating it can eat an entire planet? What the Lizzo
35:32
Speaker 1: trom parta tron? That's Frank in Fargo. Thank you, Frank.
35:39
Speaker 1: Well exciting news here, weed Man. Did you hear that
35:41
Speaker 1: scientists have said that the what the real cause is
35:45
Speaker 1: of this polar vortex? What? Well, it turns out Lizzo
35:51
Speaker 1: accidently left her freezer door open and that's why it's
35:55
Speaker 1: cold in Pensacola, Florida and Louisiana and plays like that?
35:59
Speaker 1: All right, and that's from Georgia and Uvalde, Texas. What
36:02
Speaker 1: does Lizzo wear now after her massive weight loss? What
36:08
Speaker 1: a big fat grin, A big fat grin. That was
36:17
Speaker 1: from our friend Eke in Roseville, Minnesota. What is the
36:20
Speaker 1: difference between Lorraine and Lizzo?
36:24
Speaker 4: What?
36:25
Speaker 1: Well, Lorena has love and hope in her soul. Lizzo
36:29
Speaker 1: loves shoving food into her pie hole. That's from Bobby
36:37
Speaker 1: in Florida. Thank you, Bobby. What did the doctors say
36:40
Speaker 1: when weed Man said he can't smell what the doctor said.
36:45
Speaker 1: In my opinion, you do smell that's that Tony in
36:49
Speaker 1: the bay. We'll go back to back from Tony to bay.
36:55
Speaker 1: What do our friends from Mexico call weed man in jail?
37:00
Speaker 1: What el roach o is what they call a very
37:07
Speaker 1: nice Uh, let's the here. Did you hear that weed
37:10
Speaker 1: Man overdosed on viagra the other day? Big story here?
37:14
Speaker 5: Wow, I didn't hear that.
37:16
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was actually the definitely the hardest day of
37:19
Speaker 1: your life. That's Danny in New Hampshire. Danny, I love
37:25
Speaker 1: one of my favorite places to visit, Portsmouth, New Hampshire. Beautiful,
37:29
Speaker 1: beautiful right there in the water, right next to the
37:30
Speaker 1: main awesome. All right. Why did weed Man finally get
37:34
Speaker 1: off the couch and take a gig as a plumber's assistant?
37:39
Speaker 5: Why, Well, it.
37:40
Speaker 1: Turns out weed Man, you heard you'd be working with
37:43
Speaker 1: pipes and joints. That kind of excited me. That's Terry
37:50
Speaker 1: and Saint Paul, Minnesota. Well. Saint Petersburg says there is
37:55
Speaker 1: no deadline to repair Tropicana Field.
37:59
Speaker 5: Wow.
37:59
Speaker 1: Wow. Yeah. Well well, also Miami has stated there is
38:03
Speaker 1: no timeline for weed Man hippie to get a job.
38:06
Speaker 1: So there is that George. George in Rochester, Minnesota. Last
38:12
Speaker 1: time you had a job, weed Man, was it the
38:13
Speaker 1: eighties or the nineties?
38:15
Speaker 5: A eight?
38:17
Speaker 1: Oh, my god, you have not had job since the eighties.
38:20
Speaker 1: That is wild, my god, that is a long time.
38:24
Speaker 1: All right. It was a two step process for weed
38:27
Speaker 1: Man with the housing Commission. You hear about that. No,
38:31
Speaker 1: what happened, Well, first you had to check all the
38:34
Speaker 1: boxes and then you took one to live in. So
38:37
Speaker 1: that was the other thing there. That's Dennis Dennis in Detroit.
38:42
Speaker 1: Thank you, Dennis. Any jokes that were there?
38:44
Speaker 5: Cool?
38:45
Speaker 1: Negative? No? All right, No, I don't know if I
38:48
Speaker 1: want to read that here, let me let me see. Yeah,
38:52
Speaker 1: I get it. Make sure she's the message, but it's
38:55
Speaker 1: in my brain. Here, I'll tell it to you in
38:56
Speaker 1: your ear. All right, very good. The Eagles were selling
39:01
Speaker 1: pints of snow that was on the field for fifty
39:05
Speaker 1: dollars weed Man this week.
39:07
Speaker 5: Wow, that's crazy. You gotta be choky with that.
39:10
Speaker 1: Yeah, well you actually it turns out weed Man refused
39:13
Speaker 1: to sell Miami snow because of possible drug trafficking charges.
39:17
Speaker 1: So you you didn't do that, weed Man. That's George
39:19
Speaker 1: and Rochester Minnesota. Thank you, George. After years of going barefoot,
39:24
Speaker 1: Why is weed Man now walking around with a sexy
39:28
Speaker 1: new hop in his step like John Travolta.
39:32
Speaker 5: Wow.
39:32
Speaker 1: Why because he found an old shoe in the trash
39:36
Speaker 1: that fits. That's why. There you go. I think that's
39:42
Speaker 1: all we have time for. Thank you very much. There
39:44
Speaker 1: is hey you weed man, there's lame. Jokes of the Week.