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06 - Robinson Crusoe - Daniel Defoe · Classic Adventure Books - Daily

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Speaker 1: Chapter six, Ill and conscience stricken. When I came down
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Speaker 1: to the ship, I found it strangely removed. The forecastle,
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Speaker 1: which lay before buried in sand, was heaved up at
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Speaker 1: least six feet, and the stern, which was broken pieces
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Speaker 1: and parted from the rest by the force of the sea.
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Speaker 1: Soon after I had left rummaging, her was tossed up,
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Speaker 1: as it were, and cast on one side, and the
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Speaker 1: sand was thrown so high on that side next her stern,
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Speaker 1: that whereas there was a great place of water before,
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Speaker 1: so that I could not come within a quarter of
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Speaker 1: a mile of the wreck without swimming, I could now
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Speaker 1: walk quite up to her when the tide was out.
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Speaker 1: I was surprised with this at first, but soon concluded
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Speaker 1: it must be done by the earthquake, and by this
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Speaker 1: violence the ship was more broke open than formerly. So
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Speaker 1: many things came daily on shore, which the sea had loosened,
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Speaker 1: and which the winds and water rolled by degrees to
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Speaker 1: the land. This wholly diverted my thoughts from the design
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Speaker 1: of removing my habitation, and I busied myself mightily that day,
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Speaker 1: especially in searching whether I could make any way into
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Speaker 1: the ship. But I found nothing. Must be expected of
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Speaker 1: that kind, for all the inside of the ship was
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Speaker 1: choked up with sand. However, as I had learned not
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Speaker 1: to despair of anything, I resolved to pull everything to
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Speaker 1: pieces that I could of the ship, concluding that everything
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Speaker 1: I could get from her would be of some use
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Speaker 1: or other to me. May third, I began with my
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Speaker 1: saw and cut a piece of a beam through which
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Speaker 1: I thought held some of the upper part, or quarter
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Speaker 1: deck together. And when I had cut it through, I
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Speaker 1: cleared away the sand as well as I could from
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Speaker 1: the side which lay highest. But the tide was coming
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Speaker 1: in I was obliged to give over for that. May
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Speaker 1: fourth I went a fishing, but caught not only one
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Speaker 1: fish that I durst eat till I was weary of
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Speaker 1: my sport. When just going to leave off, I caught
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Speaker 1: a young dolphin. I had made me a long line
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Speaker 1: of some rope yarn, but I had no hooks. Yet
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Speaker 1: I frequently caught fish enough as much as I cared
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Speaker 1: to eat, all which I dried in the sun and
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Speaker 1: ate them dried. May fifth worked on the wreck, cut
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Speaker 1: another beam asunder, and brought three great fur planks off
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Speaker 1: from the decks, which I tied together and made to
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Speaker 1: float on shore. When the tide of flood came in.
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Speaker 1: May sixth worked on the wreck, got several iron bolts
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Speaker 1: out of her and other pieces of iron work. Worked
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Speaker 1: very hard, and came home very much tired, and had
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Speaker 1: thoughts of giving it over. May seventh went to the
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Speaker 1: wreck again, not with an intent to work, but found
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Speaker 1: the weight of the wreck had broke itself down, the
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Speaker 1: beams being cut, that several pieces of ship seemed to
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Speaker 1: lie loose, and the inside of the hold lay so
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Speaker 1: open that I could see into it, but it was
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Speaker 1: almost full of water and sand. May eighth went to
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Speaker 1: the wreck and carried an iron crow to wrench up
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Speaker 1: the deck, which lay now quite clear of the water
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Speaker 1: or sand. I wrenched open two planks and brought them
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Speaker 1: on short or also with the tide. I left the
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Speaker 1: iron crow and the wreck for next day. May ninth
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Speaker 1: went to the wreck, and with the crow made way
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Speaker 1: into the body of the wreck, and felt several casts
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Speaker 1: and loosened them with the crow, but could not break
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Speaker 1: them up. I felt also a roll of English lead
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Speaker 1: and could stir it, but it was too heavy to remove.
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Speaker 1: May tenth through fourteenth went every day to the wreck
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Speaker 1: and got a great many pieces of timber and boards
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Speaker 1: or plank, and two or three hundred weight of iron.
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Speaker 1: May fifteenth, I carried two hatchets to try if I
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Speaker 1: could not cut a piece of the roll of lead
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Speaker 1: by placing the edge of one hatchet and driving it
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Speaker 1: with the other. But as it lay about a foot
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Speaker 1: and a half in the water, I could not make
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Speaker 1: any blow to drive the hatchet. May sixteenth, it had
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Speaker 1: blown hard in the night, and the wreck appeared more
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Speaker 1: broken by the force of the water. But I stayed
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Speaker 1: so long in the woods to get pigeons for food,
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Speaker 1: that the tide prevented my going to the wreck. That day,
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Speaker 1: May seventeenth, I saw some pieces of the wreck blown
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Speaker 1: on shore at a great distance, near two miles off me,
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Speaker 1: but resolved to see what they were, and found it
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Speaker 1: was a piece of the head, but too heavy for
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Speaker 1: me to bring away. May twenty fourth. Every day to
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Speaker 1: this day I worked on the wreck, and with the
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Speaker 1: hard labor I loosened some things so much with the
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Speaker 1: crow that the first tide several casts floated out, and
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Speaker 1: two of the seamen's chests. But the wind blowing from
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Speaker 1: the shore nothing came to land that day, but pieces
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Speaker 1: of timber in a hogshead which had some Brazil pork
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Speaker 1: in it, but the salt water and the sand had
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Speaker 1: spoiled it. I continued this work every day to the
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Speaker 1: fifteenth of June, except the time necessary to get food,
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Speaker 1: which I always appointed during this part of my employment
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Speaker 1: to be when the tide was up, that I might
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Speaker 1: be ready when it was ebbed out. And by this
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Speaker 1: time I had got timber and plank and ironwork enough
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Speaker 1: to have built a good boat if I had known how.
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Speaker 1: And also I got, at several times, and in several pieces,
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Speaker 1: near one hundred weight of the sheet lead. June sixteenth,
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Speaker 1: going down to the seaside, I found a large tortoise
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Speaker 1: or turtle. This was the first I had seen, which
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Speaker 1: it seems was only my misfortune, not any defect of
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Speaker 1: the place or scarcity, for had I happened to be
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Speaker 1: on the other side of the island, I might have
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Speaker 1: had hundreds of them every day, as I found afterwards,
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Speaker 1: but perhaps had paid dear enough for them. June seventeenth
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Speaker 1: I spent in cooking the turtle I found in her
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Speaker 1: three score eggs, and her flesh was to me at
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Speaker 1: that time the most savory and pleasant that ever I
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Speaker 1: tasted in my life, having had no flesh but of
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Speaker 1: goats and fowls since I landed in this horrid place.
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Speaker 1: June eighteenth, rained all day and I stayed within. I
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Speaker 1: thought at this time the rain felt cold, and I
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Speaker 1: was something chilly, but which I knew was not unusual
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Speaker 1: in that latitude. June nineteenth, very ill and shivering as
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Speaker 1: if the weather had been cold. June twentieth, no rest
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Speaker 1: all night, have violent pains in my head and feverish.
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Speaker 1: June twenty first, very ill, frighted almost to death with
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Speaker 1: the apprehensions of my sad condition, to be sick and
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Speaker 1: no help. Prayed to God for the first time since
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Speaker 1: the storm off Hull, but scarce knew what I said
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Speaker 1: or why, my thoughts being all confused. June twenty second,
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Speaker 1: a little better, but under dreadful apprehensions of sickness. Killed
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Speaker 1: a she goat, and with much difficulty got at home
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Speaker 1: and broiled some of it and ate. I would fain
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Speaker 1: have stewed it and made some broth, but had no pot.
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Speaker 1: June twenty seventh, the agu again so violent that I
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Speaker 1: lay abed all day and neither ate nor drank. I
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Speaker 1: was ready to perish for thirst, but so weak I
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Speaker 1: had not strength to stand up or to get myself
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Speaker 1: any water to drink. Prayed to God again, but was
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Speaker 1: light headed, And when I was not, I was so
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Speaker 1: ignorant that I knew not what to say. Only I
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Speaker 1: lay and cried, Lord, look upon me, Lord, pity me, Lord,
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Speaker 1: have mercy upon me. I suppose I did nothing else
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Speaker 1: for two or three hours till the fit wearing off,
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Speaker 1: I fell asleep and did not wait till far in
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Speaker 1: the night. When I awoke, I found myself much refreshed,
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Speaker 1: but weak and exceeding thirsty. However, as I had no
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Speaker 1: water in my habitation, I was forced to lie till morning,
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Speaker 1: and went to sleep again. In this second sleep, I
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Speaker 1: had this terrible dream. I thought that I was sitting
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Speaker 1: on the ground on the outside of my wall, where
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Speaker 1: I sat when the storm blew after the earthquake, and
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Speaker 1: that I saw a man descend from a great black
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Speaker 1: cloud in a bright flame of fire in light upon
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Speaker 1: the ground. He was all over as bright as a flame,
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Speaker 1: so that I could not but just bear to look
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Speaker 1: towards him. His countenance was most inexpressibly dreadful, impossible for
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Speaker 1: words to describe When he stepped upon the ground with
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Speaker 1: his feet, I thought the earth trembled, just as it
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Speaker 1: had done before in the earthquake, and all the air looked,
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Speaker 1: to my apprehension, as if it had been filled with
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Speaker 1: flashes of fire. He was no sooner landed upon the earth,
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Speaker 1: but he had moved forward towards me, with a long
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Speaker 1: spear or weapon in his hand, to kill me. And
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Speaker 1: when he came to a rising ground at some distance,
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Speaker 1: he spoke to me, or I heard a voice so
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Speaker 1: terrible that it is impossible to express the terror of it.
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Speaker 1: All that I can say I understood was this, Seeing
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Speaker 1: all these things have not brought thee to repentance, Now
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Speaker 1: thou shalt die. At which words, I thought, he lifted
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Speaker 1: up the spear that was in his hand to kill me.
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Speaker 1: No one that shall ever read in this account will
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Speaker 1: expect that I should be able to describe the horrors
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Speaker 1: of my soul at this terrible vision. I mean that,
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Speaker 1: even while it was a dream, I even dreamed of
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Speaker 1: those horrors. Nor is it any more possible to describe
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Speaker 1: the impression that remained upon my mind when I await
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Speaker 1: and found it was but a dream I had Alas
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Speaker 1: no divine knowledge. What I had received by the good
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Speaker 1: instruction of my father was then worn out by an
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Speaker 1: uninterrupted series for eight years of seafaring wickedness, and a
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Speaker 1: constant conversation with none but such as were like myself,
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Speaker 1: wicked and profane to the last degree. I do not
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Speaker 1: remember that I had in all that time one thought
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Speaker 1: that so much as tended either to looking upwards towards
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Speaker 1: God or inwards towards a reflection upon my own ways.
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Speaker 1: But a certain stupidity of soul, without desire of good
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Speaker 1: or conscience of evil, had entirely overwhelmed me, And I
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Speaker 1: was all that the most hardened, unthinking, wicked creature among
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Speaker 1: our common sailors can be supposed to be, not having
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Speaker 1: the least sense either of the fear of God in danger,
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Speaker 1: or of thankfulness to God in deliverance. In the relating
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Speaker 1: of what already is pasted of my story, this will
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Speaker 1: be the more easily believed when I shall add that,
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Speaker 1: through all the variety of miseries that had to this
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Speaker 1: day befallen me, I never had so much as one
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Speaker 1: thought of it being the hand of God, or that
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Speaker 1: it was a just punishment for my sin. My rebellious
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Speaker 1: behavior against my father or my present sins which were great,
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Speaker 1: or so much as a punishment for the general course
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Speaker 1: of my wicked life. When I was on the desperate
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Speaker 1: expedition on the desert shores of Africa, I never had
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Speaker 1: so much as one thought of what would become of me,
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Speaker 1: or one wish to God to direct me whether I
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Speaker 1: should go, or to keep me from the danger which
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Speaker 1: apparently surrounded me, as well as from voracious creatures as
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Speaker 1: cruel savages. But I was merely thoughtless of a God
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Speaker 1: or a providence, acted like a mere brute, from the
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Speaker 1: principles of nature and by the dictates of common sense only,
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Speaker 1: and indeed hardly that when I was delivered and taken
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Speaker 1: up at sea by the Portugal captain, well used and
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Speaker 1: dealt justly and honorably with, as well as charitably, I
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Speaker 1: had not the least thankfulness in my thoughts. When again
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Speaker 1: I was shipwrecked, ruined, and in danger of drowning on
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Speaker 1: this island, I was as far from remorse or looking
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Speaker 1: on it as a judgment. I only said to myself
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Speaker 1: often that I was an unfortunate dog and born to
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Speaker 1: always be miserable. It is true when I got on
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Speaker 1: shore first here and found all my ship's crew drowned
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Speaker 1: and myself spared. I was surprised with a kind of ecstasy,
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Speaker 1: and some transports of soul, which had the grace of
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Speaker 1: God assisted, might have come up to true thankfulness. But
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Speaker 1: it ended where it began, in a mere common flight
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Speaker 1: of joy, or, as I may say, being glad I
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Speaker 1: was alive, without the least reflection upon the distinguished goodness
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Speaker 1: of the hand which had preserved me, and had singled
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Speaker 1: me out to be preserved when all the rest were destroyed,
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Speaker 1: or an inquiry why providence had been thus merciful unto me,
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Speaker 1: even just the same common sort of joy which seamen
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Speaker 1: generally have after they got safe ashore from a shipwreck
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Speaker 1: which they drown all in the next bullet punch, and
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Speaker 1: forget almost as soon as it is over. And all
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Speaker 1: the rest of my life was like it, even when
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Speaker 1: I was afterwards undue consideration made sensible of my condition.
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Speaker 1: How I was cast on this dreadful place, out of
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Speaker 1: the reach of humankind, out of all hope of relief
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Speaker 1: or prospect of redemption, as soon as I saw but
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Speaker 1: a prospect of living, and that I should not starve
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Speaker 1: and perish for hunger. All the sense of my affliction
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Speaker 1: wore off, and I began to be very easy, applied
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Speaker 1: myself to the works proper for my preservation and supply,
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Speaker 1: and was far enough from being afflicted at my condition
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Speaker 1: as a judgment from Heaven, or as the hand of
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Speaker 1: God against me. These were thoughts which very seldom entered
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Speaker 1: my head. The growing up of the corn, as is
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Speaker 1: hinted in my journal, had at first some little influence
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Speaker 1: upon me, and began to affect me with seriousness as
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Speaker 1: long as I thought it had something miraculous in it.
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Speaker 1: But as soon as ever that part of the thought
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Speaker 1: was removed, all the impression that was raised from it
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Speaker 1: wore off. Also, as I have noted already, even the earthquake,
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Speaker 1: though nothing could be more terrible in its nature, or
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Speaker 1: more immediately directing to the invisible power which alone directs
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Speaker 1: such things, Yet no sooner was the first fright over,
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Speaker 1: but the impression it had made went off. Also. I
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Speaker 1: had no more sense of God or his judgments, much
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Speaker 1: less of the present affliction of my circumstances being from
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Speaker 1: His hand, than if I had been in the most
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Speaker 1: prosperous condition of life. But now when I began to
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Speaker 1: be sick, and a leisurely view of the miseries of
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Speaker 1: death came to place itself before me. When my spirits
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Speaker 1: began to sink under the burden of a strong distemper,
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Speaker 1: and nature was exhausted with the violence of the fever,
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Speaker 1: conscience that had slept so long began to awake, and
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Speaker 1: I began to reproach myself with my past life in
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Speaker 1: which I had so evidently by un common wickedness, provoked
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Speaker 1: the justice of God to lay me under uncommon strokes
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Speaker 1: and to deal with me in so vindictive a manner.
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Speaker 1: These reflections oppressed me for the second or third day
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Speaker 1: of my distemper, and in the violence as well of
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Speaker 1: the fever, as of the dreadful reproaches of my conscience
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Speaker 1: extorted some words for me, like praying to God, though
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Speaker 1: I cannot say they were either a prayer attended with
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Speaker 1: desires or with hopes. It was rather the voice of
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Speaker 1: mere fright and distress. My thoughts were confused, the convictions
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Speaker 1: great upon my mind, and the horror of dying in
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Speaker 1: such a miserable condition raised vapors into my head with
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Speaker 1: the mere apprehensions, and in these hurries of my soul.
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Speaker 1: I knew not what my time might express, but it
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Speaker 1: was rather exclamation, such as, Lord, what a miserable creature
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Speaker 1: am I? If I should be sick, I shall certainly
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Speaker 1: die for want of help, and what will become of me?
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Speaker 1: Then the tears burst out of my eyes, and I
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Speaker 1: could say no more for a good while. In this interval,
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Speaker 1: the good advice of my father came to my mind,
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Speaker 1: and presently his prediction which I mentioned at the beginning
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Speaker 1: of the story, that is that if I did take
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Speaker 1: this foolish step, God would not bless me, and I
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Speaker 1: would have leisure hereafter to reflect upon having neglected his counsel,
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Speaker 1: when there might be none to assist in my recovery.
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Speaker 1: Now said I aloud, my dear father's words are come
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Speaker 1: to pass. God's justice has overtaken me, and I have
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Speaker 1: none to help or hear me. I rejected the voice
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Speaker 1: of Providence which had mercifully put me in a posture
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Speaker 1: or station of life wherein I might have been happy
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Speaker 1: and easy. But I would neither see it myself nor
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Speaker 1: learn to know the blessing of it. From my parents,
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Speaker 1: I left them to mourn over my folly and now
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Speaker 1: I am left to mourn under the consequences of it.
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Speaker 1: I abuse their help and assistance, which would have lifted
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Speaker 1: me in the world and would have made everything easy
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Speaker 1: to me. And now I have difficulties to struggle with,
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Speaker 1: too great for even nature itself to support. And no assistance,
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Speaker 1: no help, no comfort, no advice. Then I cried out, Lord,
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Speaker 1: be my help, for I am in great distress. This
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Speaker 1: was the first prayer, if I may call it so,
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Speaker 1: that I had made for many years. But to return
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Speaker 1: to my journal June twenty eighth, Having been somewhat refreshed
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Speaker 1: with the sleep I had had and the fit being
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Speaker 1: entirely off, I got up, and though the fright and
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Speaker 1: terror of my dream was very great, yet I considered
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Speaker 1: that the fit of the agu would return again the
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Speaker 1: next day, and now was my time to get something
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Speaker 1: to refresh and support myself when I should be ill.
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Speaker 1: And the first thing I did I filled a large
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Speaker 1: square case bottle with water and set it upon my
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Speaker 1: table in reach of my bed. And to take off
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Speaker 1: the chill or aguish disposition of the water, I put
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Speaker 1: about a quarter of a pint of rum into it
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Speaker 1: and mix them together. Then I got me a piece
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Speaker 1: of the goat's flesh and broiled it on the coals,
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Speaker 1: but could eat very little. I walked about, but was
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Speaker 1: very weak, and with all very sad and heavy hearted,
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Speaker 1: under a sense of my miserable condition, dreading the return
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Speaker 1: of my distemper. The next day, at night, I made
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Speaker 1: my supper of three of the turtle's eggs, which I
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Speaker 1: roasted in the ashes and ate, as we call it,
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Speaker 1: in the shell. And this was the first bit of
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Speaker 1: meat I had ever asked God's blessing to that I
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Speaker 1: could remember in my whole life. After I had eaten,
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Speaker 1: I tried to walk, but found myself so weak that
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Speaker 1: I could hardly carry a gun, for I never went
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Speaker 1: out without that. So I went but a little way
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Speaker 1: and sat down upon the ground, looking out upon the sea,
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Speaker 1: which was just before me, and very calm and smooth.
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Speaker 1: As I sat here, some such thoughts as these occurred
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Speaker 1: to me. What is this earth and sea of which
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Speaker 1: I have seen so much? Whence is it produced? And
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Speaker 1: what am I and all the other creatures wild and tame,
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Speaker 1: human and brutal? Whence are we sure? We all are
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Speaker 1: made by some secret power who formed the earth and
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Speaker 1: sea and the air and sky, and who is that?
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Speaker 1: Then it followed, most naturally, it is God that has
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Speaker 1: made all well. But then it came on strangely. If
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Speaker 1: God has made all these things, he guides and governs them,
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Speaker 1: all and all things that concerned them. For the power
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Speaker 1: that could make all things must certainly have power to
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Speaker 1: guide and direct them. If so, nothing can happen in
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Speaker 1: the great circuit of His works, either without his knowledge
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Speaker 1: or appointment. And if nothing happens without his knowledge, he
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Speaker 1: knows that I am here and am in this dreadful condition.
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Speaker 1: And if nothing happens without his appointment, he has appointed
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Speaker 1: all this to befall me. Nothing occurred to my thoughts
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Speaker 1: to contradict any of these conclusions, And therefore it rested
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Speaker 1: upon me with the greater force that it must needs
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Speaker 1: be that God had appointed all this to befall me,
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Speaker 1: that I was brought into this miserable circumstance by his direction,
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Speaker 1: He having the sole power not of me only, but
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Speaker 1: of everything that happened in the world. Immediately, it followed,
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Speaker 1: why has God done this to me? What have I
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Speaker 1: done to be thus used? My conscience presently checked me
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Speaker 1: in that inquiry, as if I had blasphemed and methought.
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Speaker 1: It spoke to me like a voice. Wretch, dost thou
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Speaker 1: ask what thou hast done? Look back upon a dreadful,
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Speaker 1: misspent life, and ask thyself what thou hast not done?
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Speaker 1: Ask why is it that thou wert not long ago destroyed?
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Speaker 1: Why wert thou not drowned in yarmouth roads, killed in
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Speaker 1: the fight when the ship was taken by the sale
27:30
Speaker 1: man of war, devoured by the wild beasts on the
27:33
Speaker 1: coast of Africa, were drowned here when all the crew perished.
27:39
Speaker 1: But thyself, dost thou ask what have I done? I
27:47
Speaker 1: was struck dumb with these reflections, as one astonished, and
27:51
Speaker 1: had not a word to say. No, not to answer
27:54
Speaker 1: to myself, but rose up, pensive and sad walked back
28:00
Speaker 1: to my retreat and went up over my wall, as
28:04
Speaker 1: if I had been going to bed. But my thoughts
28:09
Speaker 1: were sadly disturbed, and I had no inclination to sleep,
28:13
Speaker 1: So I sat down in my chair and lighted my lamp,
28:17
Speaker 1: for it began to be dark. Now. As the apprehension
28:22
Speaker 1: of the return of my distemper terrified me very much,
28:26
Speaker 1: it occurred to my thought that the Brazilians take no
28:30
Speaker 1: physic but their tobacco for almost all distempers. And I
28:35
Speaker 1: had a piece of a roll of tobacco in one
28:38
Speaker 1: of the chests, which was quite cured, and some also
28:42
Speaker 1: that was green and not quite cured. I went directed by,
28:48
Speaker 1: having no doubt, for in this chest I found a
28:51
Speaker 1: cure both for soul and body. I opened the chest
28:58
Speaker 1: and found what I looked for tobacco, and as the
29:02
Speaker 1: few books I had saved lay there too, I took
29:06
Speaker 1: out one of the Bibles, which I mentioned before, and
29:10
Speaker 1: which to this time I had not found leisure or
29:13
Speaker 1: inclination to look into. I say, I took it out
29:19
Speaker 1: and brought both that and the tobacco with me to
29:22
Speaker 1: the table. What used to make of the tobacco I knew,
29:26
Speaker 1: not in my distemper or whether it was good for
29:29
Speaker 1: it or no. But I tried several experiments with it,
29:34
Speaker 1: as if I was resolved it should hit one way
29:37
Speaker 1: or another. I took first a piece of leaf and
29:42
Speaker 1: chewed it in my mouth, which indeed at first almost
29:45
Speaker 1: stupefied my brain. The tobacco being green and strong, and
29:50
Speaker 1: that I had not been much used to. Then I
29:54
Speaker 1: took some and steeped it an hour or two in
29:57
Speaker 1: some run, and resolved to make a dose of it.
30:00
Speaker 1: I lay down, and lastly I burnt some upon a
30:05
Speaker 1: pan of coals, and held my nose over it, over
30:10
Speaker 1: the smoke of it as long as I could bear it,
30:14
Speaker 1: as well for the heat as almost for suffocation. In
30:19
Speaker 1: the interval of this operation I took up the Bible
30:22
Speaker 1: and began to read, but my head was too much
30:26
Speaker 1: disturbed with the tobacco to bear reading, at least at
30:31
Speaker 1: that time. Only having opened the book casually, the first
30:36
Speaker 1: words that occurred to me were these call on me
30:41
Speaker 1: and the day of trouble, and I will deliver thee
30:45
Speaker 1: and thou shalt glorify me. These words were very apt
30:51
Speaker 1: to my case, and made some impression upon my thoughts
30:55
Speaker 1: at the time of reading them, though not so much
30:59
Speaker 1: as they did after, For as for being delivered, the
31:03
Speaker 1: word had no sound. As I may say to me,
31:07
Speaker 1: the thing was so remote, so impossible in my apprehension
31:12
Speaker 1: of things, that I began to say, as the children
31:15
Speaker 1: of Israel did when they were promised flesh to eat,
31:19
Speaker 1: can God spread a table in the wilderness? So I
31:23
Speaker 1: began to say, can God himself deliver me from this place,
31:29
Speaker 1: And as it was not for many years that any
31:32
Speaker 1: hopes appeared, this prevailed very often upon my thoughts. But however,
31:39
Speaker 1: the words made a great impression upon me, and I
31:42
Speaker 1: mused upon them very often. It grew now late, and
31:47
Speaker 1: the tobacco had, as I said, dozed my head so
31:51
Speaker 1: much that I inclined to sleep. So I left my
31:55
Speaker 1: lamp burning in the cave lest I should want anything
31:58
Speaker 1: in the night, and went to bed. But before I
32:01
Speaker 1: lay down, I did what I never had done in
32:05
Speaker 1: all my life. I kneeled down and prayed to God
32:11
Speaker 1: to fulfill the promise to me that if I called
32:15
Speaker 1: upon Him in the day of trouble, he would deliver me.
32:20
Speaker 1: After my broken and imperfect prayer was over, I drank
32:25
Speaker 1: the rum in which I had steeped the tobacco, which
32:28
Speaker 1: was so strong and rank of the tobacco that I
32:30
Speaker 1: could scarcely get it down. Immediately upon this I went
32:34
Speaker 1: to bed. I found presently it flew up into my
32:39
Speaker 1: head violently. But I fell into a sound sleep and
32:44
Speaker 1: waked no more till by the sun it must necessarily
32:48
Speaker 1: be near three o'clock in the afternoon the next day. Nay,
32:52
Speaker 1: to this hour. I am partly of opinion that I
32:55
Speaker 1: slept all the next day and night till almost three
32:59
Speaker 1: days after, for otherwise I know not how I should
33:05
Speaker 1: lose a day out of my reckoning in the days
33:08
Speaker 1: of the week, as it appeared some years after I
33:11
Speaker 1: had done. For if I had lost it by crossing
33:16
Speaker 1: and recrossing the line, I should have lost more than
33:19
Speaker 1: one day. But certainly I lost a day in my account,
33:24
Speaker 1: and never knew why be that. However, one way or
33:30
Speaker 1: the other, when I awake, I found myself exceedingly refreshed,
33:34
Speaker 1: and my spirits lively and cheerful. When I got up,
33:39
Speaker 1: I was stronger than I was the day before, and
33:43
Speaker 1: in my stomach better, for I was hungry, And in
33:47
Speaker 1: short I had no fit the next day, but continued
33:50
Speaker 1: much altered for the better. This was the twenty ninth.
33:57
Speaker 1: The thirtieth was my well day, of course, and I
34:00
Speaker 1: went abroad with my gun, but did not care to
34:04
Speaker 1: travel too far. I killed a sea fowl or two,
34:09
Speaker 1: something like a brand goose, and brought them home, but
34:14
Speaker 1: was not very forward to eat them. So I ate
34:17
Speaker 1: some more of the turtles eggs, which were very good.
34:22
Speaker 1: This evening I renewed the medicine which I had supposed
34:25
Speaker 1: did me good the day before the tobacco steeped and
34:29
Speaker 1: rum only I did not take so much as before,
34:32
Speaker 1: nor did I chew any of the leaf or hold
34:35
Speaker 1: my head over the smoke. However, I was not so
34:39
Speaker 1: well the next day, which was the first of July,
34:43
Speaker 1: as I hoped it should have been, for I had
34:47
Speaker 1: a little spice of the cold fit, but it was
34:50
Speaker 1: not much. July second, I renewed the medicine all the
34:56
Speaker 1: three ways and dosed myself with it as at first,
34:59
Speaker 1: and double the quantity which I drank. July third, I
35:05
Speaker 1: missed the fit for good and all, though I did
35:08
Speaker 1: not recover my full strength for some weeks after. While
35:12
Speaker 1: I was thus gathering my strength, my thoughts ran exceedingly
35:16
Speaker 1: upon this scripture, I will deliver THEE, and the impossibility
35:22
Speaker 1: of my deliverance lay much upon my mind, in bar
35:26
Speaker 1: of my ever expecting it. But as I was discouraging
35:30
Speaker 1: myself with such thoughts, it occurred to me that I
35:35
Speaker 1: poured so much upon my deliverance from the main affliction
35:41
Speaker 1: that I disregarded the deliverance I had received. And I was,
35:47
Speaker 1: as it were, made to ask myself such questions as these,
35:51
Speaker 1: That is, have I not been delivered, and wonderfully too,
35:57
Speaker 1: from sickness, from the most distressed condition that could be?
36:02
Speaker 1: And that was so frightful to me? And what notice
36:06
Speaker 1: had I taken of it? Had I done my part?
36:10
Speaker 1: God had delivered me, but I had not glorified him,
36:15
Speaker 1: that is to say, I had not owned and been
36:18
Speaker 1: thankful for that as a deliverance. And how could I
36:23
Speaker 1: expect greater deliverance? This touched my heart very much, and
36:32
Speaker 1: immediately I knelt down and gave God thanks aloud for
36:37
Speaker 1: my recovery from my sickness. July fourth, in the morning,
36:44
Speaker 1: I took the Bible, and, beginning at the New Testament,
36:48
Speaker 1: I began seriously to read it, and imposed upon myself
36:53
Speaker 1: to read a while every morning and every night, not
36:57
Speaker 1: tying myself to the number of chapters, but long as
37:01
Speaker 1: my thoughts should engage me. It was not long after
37:05
Speaker 1: I set seriously to this work that I found my
37:09
Speaker 1: heart more deeply and sincerely affected with the wickedness of
37:13
Speaker 1: my past life. The impression of my dream revived in
37:18
Speaker 1: the words, all these things have not brought thee to repentance,
37:24
Speaker 1: ran seriously through my thoughts. I was earnestly begging of
37:29
Speaker 1: God to give me repentance. When it happened providentially the
37:34
Speaker 1: very next day that reading the Scripture, I came to
37:38
Speaker 1: these words, he is exalted, a Prince and a Savior
37:44
Speaker 1: to give repentance and to give remission. I threw down
37:49
Speaker 1: the book, and with my heart as well as my hands,
37:53
Speaker 1: lifted up to heaven in a kind of ecstasy of joy,
37:58
Speaker 1: I cried out aloud, Jesus Thou, son of David, Jesus Thou,
38:05
Speaker 1: Exalted Prince and Savior, give me repentance. This was the
38:12
Speaker 1: first time I could say in the true sense of
38:16
Speaker 1: the words that I prayed in all my life. For
38:21
Speaker 1: now I prayed with the sense of my condition and
38:25
Speaker 1: a true Scripture view of hope founded on the encouragement
38:30
Speaker 1: of the word of God. And from this time, I
38:32
Speaker 1: may say, I began to hope that God would hear me.
38:39
Speaker 1: Now I began to construe the words mentioned above, call
38:43
Speaker 1: on me, and I will deliver thee in a different
38:46
Speaker 1: sense from what I had ever done before. For then
38:51
Speaker 1: I had no notion of anything being called deliverance, but
38:56
Speaker 1: my being delivered from the captivity I was in for,
39:00
Speaker 1: though I was indeed at large in the place. Yet
39:04
Speaker 1: the island was certainly a prison to me, and that
39:09
Speaker 1: in the worst sense in the world. But now I
39:13
Speaker 1: learned to take it in another sense. Now I look
39:17
Speaker 1: back upon my past life with such horror, and my
39:21
Speaker 1: sins appeared so dreadful, that my soul sought nothing of
39:26
Speaker 1: God but deliverance from the load of guilt that bore
39:31
Speaker 1: down all my comfort. As for my solitary life, it
39:37
Speaker 1: was nothing. I did not so much as pray to
39:41
Speaker 1: be delivered from it, or think of it. It was
39:44
Speaker 1: all of no consideration in comparison to this. And I
39:48
Speaker 1: add this part here to hint to whoever shall read it,
39:53
Speaker 1: that whenever they come to a true sense of things,
39:57
Speaker 1: they will find deliverance from sin, a much greater blessing
40:01
Speaker 1: than deliverance from affliction. But leaving this part, I returned
40:07
Speaker 1: to my journal. My condition began now to be, though
40:13
Speaker 1: not less miserable as to my way of living, yet
40:16
Speaker 1: much easier to my mind, and my thoughts, being directed
40:21
Speaker 1: by a constant reading the scripture and praying to God
40:24
Speaker 1: to things of a higher nature, I had a great
40:28
Speaker 1: deal of comfort within which till now I knew nothing of. Also,
40:34
Speaker 1: my health and strength returned. I bestirred myself to furnish
40:38
Speaker 1: myself with everything that I wanted and make my way
40:41
Speaker 1: of living as regular as I could. From the fourth
40:47
Speaker 1: of July to the fourteenth I was chiefly employed in
40:50
Speaker 1: walking about with my gun in my hand, a little
40:54
Speaker 1: and a little at a time, as a man that
40:57
Speaker 1: was gathering up his strength after a fit of sickness.
41:01
Speaker 1: For it is hardly to be imagined how low I was,
41:05
Speaker 1: and to what weakness I was reduced. The application which
41:10
Speaker 1: I made use of was perfectly new, and perhaps which
41:16
Speaker 1: had never cured an argue before. Neither can I recommend
41:21
Speaker 1: it to any to practice by this experiment. And though
41:25
Speaker 1: it did carry off the fit, yet it rather contributed
41:29
Speaker 1: to weakening me, for I had frequent convulsions in my
41:33
Speaker 1: nerves and limbs for some time. I learned from it
41:37
Speaker 1: also this, in particular, that being abroad in the rainy
41:42
Speaker 1: season was the most pernicious thing to my health that
41:45
Speaker 1: could be, especially in those rains which came attended with
41:49
Speaker 1: storms and hurricanes of wind. For as the rain which
41:54
Speaker 1: came in the dry season was almost always accompanied with
41:59
Speaker 1: such storms. So I found that that rain was much
42:04
Speaker 1: more dangerous than the rain which fell in September and October.
42:11
Speaker 1: End of Chapter six