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What's the first thing a narcissist thinks when you break up with them? · The Mental Healness Podcast

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  What is going on beautiful people.
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  Today we're going to be answering the question, what a
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  narcissist first thought when y'all break up, when you break
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  up with them, if you are are the one that leaves the
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  relationship, what goes through their mind first?
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  If you're new here, my name is Lee Hammock.
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  I'm a diagnosed narcissist and welcome to another episode of
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  the Narcissist Code. So boom, welcome back folks,
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  welcome back, welcome back. Yeah, y'all.
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  So we all know, I think everybody knows that a lot of
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  narcissists like when you if you were to break up with a
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  narcissist, if you were to leave them abruptly, there will be
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  quite a few thoughts that goes through that narcissist or toxic
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  person's mind, right? There'll be quite a few things
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  that just, you know, some some some things just just might
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  dance to to the surface and whatnot, right.
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  But for me, the very first thought as a diagnosed
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  narcissist that goes through a narcissist's mind is that you
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  have someone else. That's it.
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  Yeah. It can be as simple as that
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  right there. I know it's I know it's not as
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  simple, but it can be as straightforward as that right
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  there. Like the fact that you left.
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  You can't. There's no other reason why you
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  would leave me unless you had someone else.
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  That's it right there, y'all, That's it right there.
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  That's the mindset of it right there.
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  Like that's why a lot of narcissistic people, when you
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  break over them, they lose their damn minds because the thought
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  that goes through their head is that you have to have someone
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  else. Like it cannot be me.
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  It doesn't. It's not registering in my head
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  that you broke over me because I'm treating you badly.
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  What the huh? You broke over me because I'm
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  abusive. What, you broke up with me
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  because I'm a liar, because I cheat.
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  What then I said, no, you've forgiven me.
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  You, you've forgiven me for before.
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  So what's the issue now, right? What's the issue right now?
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  That's the mindset right there. That's the mentality that
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  narcissistic people will throw you through, will will kind of
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  bust through you right there, right there.
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  They have to reckon they have. The only way they can reconcile
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  it is to blame you because you have someone else.
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  That's why a lot of times if you don't go no contact if you
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  can't, if you can't go no contact because you have kids,
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  That's why a lot of times they thought they, they start
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  throwing out the accusations that there's somebody else.
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  Who is he? Just tell me who he is.
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  I promise I won't lose my mind. I promise.
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  I know I'm breathing. I know I'm breathing heavy right
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  now. I know, I, I know, I've, I know,
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  I know it sounds like I'm going to lose my mind, but I promise
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  you I won't. I promise you I won't lose my
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  mind. Just tell me who he is or tell
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  me who she is. And we know women can be
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  narcissist, y'all. And like, I mean, yeah, let me
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  sidebar, come over here real quick.
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  Come over here real quick for the, for the fellas that that
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  are just following my channel and for the ladies who, and for
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  the, you know, the, the non binary folks and whatnot.
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  Like, yeah, I try to use non gendered terms.
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  That's why a lot of times if you, if you follow me on my
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  other platforms with my YouTube shorts, you see the skits and
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  stuff like that. It's I rarely ever say he or she
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  or they. I mean, I might say they, but
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  I'd rather say I'd rather I rarely ever say he or she
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  because I know women can be narcissist.
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  So I talk about narcissistic women all the time.
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  This is not no, just out of nowhere like Willie, you just
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  made that up. No, no, no, no, women can
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  absolutely be narcissist. I've dealt with a narcissistic
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  woman before. I feel like y'all be y'all be
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  shocked when I tell people that story.
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  But that's actually in my notebook to talk about, to talk
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  about the hurt and the pain of dealing with a my narcissistic
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  ex woman. I'll tell you I'll tell that
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  story soon or later. But back to the back to the
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  topic. I hear narcissistic people the
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  only like we have to reconcile. It has to make sense to us why
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  you left us right? Like we have to have it make
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  sense in our minds. The reason that you left.
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  And a lot of times what makes the most sense is that literally
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  you have someone else a lot of time and it makes the most
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  sense. But it doesn't make me feel
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  better, right? It helps me get rid of some of
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  the rejection. I kind of rejection shame, like
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  the shame of being rejected, the shame of the breakup.
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  It helps me get over it a little bit because I'm blaming you,
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  right? I'm blaming you for the stuff
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  that the stuff that was going on.
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  I'm blaming you for the state, for the things that we went
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  through, right? But I still have to deal with
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  shame. But even if you have someone
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  else, even if it's true or not, it's still going to hurt me.
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  But at least I'm not taking accountability for what has
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  happened, right? At least it's still your fault.
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  Like it's nothing that I did. You just happen to be a whore.
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  They can't keep your legs closed or can't keep your, your, your
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  pants up or whatever this situation may be.
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  Can't keep from bending over or getting bend over or you know,
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  so you doing the bending you may that's about that's what I say
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  right there. But it has to make sense to
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  them. That's why I tell so many people
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  like this is the mindset that so many people go through.
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  This is what you wanted to experience when you're dealing
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  with an abuser. They're going to abuse, they're
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  going to find a way to abuse. They're going to find a way to
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  use. They're going to find a way to
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  get over and use you and treat you like crap.
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  They just are. And then once you break up with
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  them, they automatically gonna go to you must have someone
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  else. Who is it?
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  Well, I that's why This is why sometimes you get the text
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  messages that say I hope you're happy with with whoever they
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  are. I hope you're happy with them.
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  I hope you're I hope they give you everything that you didn't
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  get from me. I hope that I just want to see
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  you happy. Even though they try to ruin
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  your life, even though they took you through hell and back, They
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  just want to see you happy. Do you believe that?
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  That's a question you have to ask yourself.
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  Do you believe that they just want to see you happy in this
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  space right here, right? Most people are going to say no,
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  hell no, because like, look at their, look at their behaviors.
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  Of course I'm not going to believe that they want to see me
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  happy because look at their behaviors.
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  Look how they're acting. Look how they're look at, look
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  at, look at what they're doing right?
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  That's the mentality that you will come across when you're
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  dealing with an abusive narcissist, y'all.
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  This is what you're going to have to face.
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  Like the accusations or whatever.
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  They, they might actually look, they might actually start a
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  smear campaign lying about you, right?
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  They might actually start a smear campaign, but they lie to
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  everybody about who you are and what you've done.
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  They might actually start a smear campaign about, well, this
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  is just me talking about my my situation.
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  Y'all, this is coming from a male's perspective.
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  They're just like, whoa, whoa. And she just up and left out of
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  nowhere for no reason and she blocked me.
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  Too bad she blocked me. So I have no way to see what
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  she's doing. So she must she must have
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  someone else. She must have been cheating.
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  She's always she was being kind of sneaky with her phone before
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  she left. So that must be it.
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  She must have somebody else. That's the I didn't do anything
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  wrong. I did nothing wrong.
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  I did nothing, nothing wrong in this space right here.
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  Narcissistic people, y'all are going to take you through the
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  ringer. They just are.
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  They're going to take you through the ringer.
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  Go to they're going to do a lot of emotional, physical, mental
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  damage to you. And when you decide to leave,
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  they can't reconcile that they've done anything wrong,
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  that they are the ones that pushed you away, that they are
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  the what they are the reason that you're no longer together.
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  They can't they can't fathom that being the truth.
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  That thought might run through their head, but it's just like,
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  let's say that thought like this right here is that thought.
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  This right here is that thought, right?
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  The thought of of them being abusive and them being the
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  reason that you left. That thought is floating around
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  out here, right? The thought is floating around
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  up here, right? Just it's going around in your
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  mind and whatnot. And then all of a sudden out of
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  nowhere, it lands in the head, right?
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  It just, it goes into the head. Maybe I am the problem.
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  Maybe it is me. Oh my goodness.
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  And then it leaves because they, they have to like for this to
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  sit in the narcissist mind for this to sit with us, for this to
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  sit inside of our minds means that we have to deal with the
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  shame. And most narcissists are not
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  going to going to want to deal with the shame.
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  So what they're going to do is to put everything on you.
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  What they're going to do is to put, make, make, make you out to
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  be the abuser. What they're going to do is make
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  you out to be the manipulative. What they're going to do is
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  blame you and accuse you of what they're going to do is tell the
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  kids that you left them for somebody else.
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  What they're going to do is try to exhaust you into coming back.
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  What they're going to do is blow your damn phone up right?
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  And all this other stuff. This is the mindset, this is the
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  mentality. So that's how things are going
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  to go. That's the first start.
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  You know, you can, if you're, if you have to talk to this person,
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  you can say no, I don't have anybody else.
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  And then leave it at that. You don't have to go into great
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  detail. If you're no contact with this
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  person, you don't have to respond at all.
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  You don't have to respond at all to their accusations, y'all,
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  because they're going to, they're going to do it anyway.
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  They have no proof. They just want to hear you admit
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  it, right? I just want to hear you admit
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  it. Just admit it.
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  Just admit you have someone else.
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  Yeah. The crazy thing about it is
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  neither answer is going to make them feel good.
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  One answer might get a more rage, fool even response from
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  them. Like if you say yes, I have
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  someone else. You see what I'm saying?
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  That might bring a lot of rage out of there.
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  But if you say no, there's no one else.
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  You just treated me badly. They can still get mad and blame
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  you. What about what you did?
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  Wow. It takes it takes 2 to tango.
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  And you damn sure was dancing if you did.
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  You damn show was dancing. It takes 2 to tango.
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  You was dancing with me for a long time.
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  So why you want to dance No MO? Why you want to dance with me no
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  MO? That's what you will face in
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  these relationship dynamic jobs. That's why this is the point
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  I've been trying to convey to so many people.
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  Like this is who you're going to face.
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  This is what you're going to be up against when you decide to
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  leave and what not. Again, y'all, at the end of the
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  day, I want everybody to win. I want everybody to win.
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  I want victory to be achieved. I want all of this to happen,
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  right? I want all of this to go.
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  I want all of this to happen, but you have to want yourself to
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  win more because in our statistic person, I'm just
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  telling you, they're going to try to wear you down because
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  wearing you down benefits them getting you to talk to them.
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  Even if, even if you if, even if you talking to them, it's just
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  for you to tell them to leave you the hell alone or that you
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  don't have anybody else that like that.
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  They they still consider that as a win, right?
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  Because if you tell them that you don't have anybody else,
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  guess what happens? Their mind goes to well, the
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  doors open. I need to try again.
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  And the crazy about it is y'all. I'm going to end with this right
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  here. I don't like this video going
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  too long is that they can actually have someone else.
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  Like they can leave you for someone else, but they will
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  still try to be be relevant in your life in some way, shape or
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  form. They'll still try to be relevant
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  in your life and do stuff to your life and be involved in
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  your life and try to not allow you to move on.
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  And if you do, then they can still lose their mind.
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  They can just like even if they have someone else that you know
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  about, they can still they, they can still open their damn mouths
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  and say, hey, look, even if you have someone else, they can
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  still open their mouth and say, hey, look, you can't move on
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  lose they they can lose their minds because you have someone
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  else and they don't. And they and they do as well.
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  They get accused you of having someone else because you don't
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  want to talk to me anymore. Even though they have someone
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  else. It doesn't matter who left who.
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  Their their accusation and their thought is going to go through
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  their mind. Yeah, anyway, y'all, you made it
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  this for y'all. Hit that subscribe button.
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  Peace.