Latest / Dear Son, / Watch That Mirror | Self-Reflection, Accountability, and Relationships | Ep 148 | The Dear Son, Show

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Watch That Mirror | Self-Reflection, Accountability, and Relationships | Ep 148 | The Dear Son, Show · Dear Son,

0:00
[SPEAKER_00]: and we live.
0:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Welcome to the this on show where we have meaningful conversations to have young boys and young men.
0:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Realize now what we wish we knew then.
0:10
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm one of your host, Jay Black.
0:12
[SPEAKER_01]: These are the hosts.
0:13
[SPEAKER_00]: What did you do, DJ?
0:14
[SPEAKER_01]: You look new, Phil.
0:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, you look new, man.
0:16
[SPEAKER_01]: You feel, man.
0:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, what's the thing?
0:18
[SPEAKER_01]: What are your feel?
0:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It's been a long time coming, man.
0:20
[SPEAKER_01]: It might be a big shift to some people, but I bet that table.
0:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Table service purpose.
0:24
[SPEAKER_01]: You did.
0:24
[SPEAKER_01]: You don't see what there's to do, man.
0:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Then you talk about five, six months.
0:29
[SPEAKER_00]: If I think it was like it is, man, but I'm good, man.
0:30
[SPEAKER_00]: How you feel?
0:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm feeling good, man.
0:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Just, you know, you know, better than anybody.
0:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm on that roller coaster steel, trapping back.
0:36
[SPEAKER_00]: So things are starting to, to mellow out and settle out.
0:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm sure that's welcome.
0:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It is.
0:42
[SPEAKER_00]: Man, I'm, you know, even my support system is, you know, the support legs look like they're getting a little wobbly.
0:51
[SPEAKER_00]: the only one over that stands itself.
0:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, but just you didn't bring this life dealt to this.
0:57
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
0:58
[SPEAKER_00]: And we just got to adjust as we write this, we did.
1:01
[SPEAKER_00]: And which interesting enough, it led right into what we're going to be talking to.
1:07
[SPEAKER_01]: Is it really interesting anymore?
1:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's it.
1:12
[SPEAKER_01]: No.
1:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And we like to share and subscribe that part.
1:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
1:16
[SPEAKER_01]: We don't actually plan.
1:17
[SPEAKER_01]: And I don't know that turns people off, but
1:20
[SPEAKER_01]: We had, the conversation you guys are getting is the conversation we're having for the first time.
1:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Maybe that's the better way to say it's not about not playing.
1:26
[SPEAKER_01]: It's clearly some thought went into this.
1:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
1:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Absolutely.
1:30
[SPEAKER_00]: But like you say, it's a matter of what moves.
1:34
[SPEAKER_00]: By the time it's time to shoot, man, we're just in our favor.
1:38
[SPEAKER_00]: We can have all the plans in the world to talk about XYZ, but then it's so real, it's so authentic that
1:43
[SPEAKER_00]: want something hit us.
1:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Gotta go.
1:45
[SPEAKER_00]: I turn the camera on.
1:46
[SPEAKER_00]: Gotta go.
1:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm not gonna even pit a paddle around.
1:50
[SPEAKER_00]: We're gonna go right to it because guess what?
1:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Pretty usual.
1:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Guess who don't know what we talking about the day.
1:56
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
1:57
[SPEAKER_04]: Today's topic is watch that mirror.
2:04
[SPEAKER_04]: Watch that mirror.
2:06
[SPEAKER_04]: And
2:09
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't don't don't be harsh on yourself because I'm I really I'm going all over the place with it today.
2:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I believe so That mean anything yet.
2:18
[SPEAKER_01]: I can tell I can tell you I hit me based on my lens is Sometimes I've Sometimes I walk past the mirror and intentionally and I look Yeah, cuz I don't want to see the reflection of where I am today Right then and it that's from an accountability standpoint.
2:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I've gone through phases where
2:40
[SPEAKER_01]: If I don't see it, it doesn't hit me as hard.
2:44
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, if you know, it's like not opening the mail doesn't make the bill not do.
2:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
2:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
2:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Just be on that reminder.
2:52
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, that's, that's, I'll stop there for that.
2:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
2:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Um, one of because again, I'm, I'm trying to narrow it down to three, but one is.
3:06
[SPEAKER_00]: watch yourself and don't be afraid to hold yourself accountable.
3:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And as cliche and generic as that sounds, it's going to be dealing more so with a person who always thinks that they are right.
3:22
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
3:23
[SPEAKER_00]: They disguise it with, I don't know everything.
3:27
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not always right.
3:29
[SPEAKER_00]: You probably will.
3:30
[SPEAKER_01]: You put a present.
3:31
[SPEAKER_01]: You put a present and smooth in this.
3:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I've never seen him be wrong according to him about anything.
3:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Nothing.
3:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And so you would be surprised if you would take inventory of your surroundings, how many people
3:47
[SPEAKER_00]: operating that because the word narcissistic became over you in the last, I'd say, year or so.
3:55
[SPEAKER_00]: So now people shy away from calling it out when it's actually happening.
3:59
[SPEAKER_00]: So getting right to it because again, we're going to apply this to their son, watch that mirror because another portion of it is, you can look at something.
4:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's not exactly as it seems.
4:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Because you look at something and at first glance in a mirror, it looks identical to what it's supposed to look on a certain way.
4:23
[SPEAKER_00]: But if you add a certain element to it, put a word on the shirt.
4:30
[SPEAKER_00]: And if you look in the mirror now, it's backwards.
4:32
[SPEAKER_00]: So now you'll see, you have to look for the fine print in the mirror.
4:37
[SPEAKER_00]: And then you'll let you know if you're looking at the real thing.
4:41
[SPEAKER_00]: or a duplicate.
4:43
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm a chill, some, I got a story because another thought just about my, come on.
4:47
[SPEAKER_01]: What you got when you said, let's apply the day as an, of course, that should have been my first.
4:53
[SPEAKER_01]: It should have been in there.
4:55
[SPEAKER_01]: First, though it's on it, but sometimes some, I mean, I'll stick with me because I got the research on me.
5:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah.
5:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Certain parts of my life, I want my son in the mirror.
5:12
[SPEAKER_01]: like we, this whole podcast was about me, establishing, I'll say fine tune in relationship, but relationship was shot in advance with my son, right, because of things that I didn't want to address, right, right, and it was some what merits of things that I remember from my childhood, or I thought that he was going to follow in those steps, like I did a reflection of me.
5:40
[SPEAKER_01]: And at times they were it, but most times they weren't.
5:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I was assuming that he was going to reflect that part of my life and he wanted to live as I did in that part of my life, but it wasn't true.
5:52
[SPEAKER_01]: thing up in terms of our children being mirrors, right?
5:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Which they are.
5:57
[SPEAKER_01]: If you want to, if you want to know a lot about yourself, because you're okay.
5:59
[SPEAKER_00]: Please.
6:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Look at your kids.
6:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we're exposed.
6:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
6:04
[SPEAKER_00]: What you've exposed them to or not.
6:06
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what you've, what you've missed out on.
6:09
[SPEAKER_00]: So let's talk about, because the avenues that they're on right now, they're, they're embarking on their next phase of life.
6:17
[SPEAKER_00]: Speaking of our oldest son.
6:19
[SPEAKER_00]: right now.
6:20
[SPEAKER_00]: They're on the next phase of their lives.
6:22
[SPEAKER_00]: They're getting ready to be productive citizens out here in this economy, in this nation, in this world that we have.
6:31
[SPEAKER_00]: So the deception of things not being as they appear.
6:38
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, the importance of our generation when we were coming up, it was shared as we talk about a lot.
6:44
[SPEAKER_00]: The elders would always say,
6:46
[SPEAKER_00]: go to school, get a degree, get a job, dedicate yourself to one company, retire, live your good life.
6:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Now that's not the, that's not the tone anymore for most in this generation.
7:00
[SPEAKER_00]: So obviously we're, we're embarking on because we've shared a lot.
7:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Diaz is getting into the trade field.
7:09
[SPEAKER_00]: This week, this week.
7:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So the deception of a lot of,
7:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Conversations are being had that are trying to funnel this generation to one thing.
7:25
[SPEAKER_00]: AI is, it's not being received by some and the same way as others.
7:31
[SPEAKER_00]: And what I mean by that is people are using fear tactics of, that's gonna wipe that out, that's gonna wipe that out, that's gonna wipe that out.
7:38
[SPEAKER_00]: As opposed to embrace it, it's here, use it as an enhancement
7:43
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not the thing, it's anything to add to things you have.
7:48
[SPEAKER_00]: So I say all of that to say the conversations you're having with the going into the industry that he's entering into his trade.
7:58
[SPEAKER_00]: AI doesn't threaten it, but it enhances, it's a heck of an enhancement.
8:03
[SPEAKER_00]: So some of the conversations or motivations that come across your head, that maybe you haven't even said yet, because you want to see how he's receiving to not affect his mirror if you feel of the industry ought to work for us.
8:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Do you think that there's more conversation to be had or do you think, hey, let me sit back and let him roll a little bit before I interject and add some more pieces to it?
8:27
[SPEAKER_01]: So I'm not inundating him with a lot of heavy thought about this, heavy thought about that.
8:32
[SPEAKER_01]: But I take him every day.
8:33
[SPEAKER_03]: Yeah.
8:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I take him when I pick him up.
8:37
[SPEAKER_01]: And even that is a thing like I was more motivated to have transportation and to have my license.
8:45
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I
8:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I am learning and it's become a theme on the show to not project or judge him where he is based on where I was.
8:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Because we're different people different times.
8:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I never went through COVID.
8:59
[SPEAKER_01]: I never got comfortable just sitting in the house that wasn't thing.
9:02
[SPEAKER_01]: So there's that.
9:04
[SPEAKER_01]: So the benefit of driving them every day is having those conversations on the way to school.
9:11
[SPEAKER_01]: I am challenging him to be the best that he could be in it.
9:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
9:15
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't dial it in.
9:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Chat GP team.
9:18
[SPEAKER_01]: You had a quick, interesting.
9:20
[SPEAKER_01]: Had a conversation about, um, on Friday, they have quizzes.
9:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So they don't have to physically go.
9:25
[SPEAKER_01]: They have a quiz that happened to him.
9:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And he just said, my wife knows it on those said, um, you need to be studying.
9:33
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, I'm going to make some chat as I'm going to make some study calls to chat GP.
9:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Funny not funny, on point, but also, let me dig it with the riskier, yes, sir.
9:49
[SPEAKER_01]: ChatGPT isn't sitting in class with you.
9:53
[SPEAKER_01]: I want you to use ChatGPT to enhance what you're learning in the class and position you to do the best in this case on the quiz.
10:04
[SPEAKER_01]: ChatGPT is not going to help you touch on a wire.
10:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Today, right?
10:09
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
10:10
[SPEAKER_01]: So...
10:11
[SPEAKER_01]: There is still a need for you to be on point so that you can use Chad GPT in an effective way.
10:18
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's the shift that I think most people are missing and I'm glad you talked about, you shaped it up for the conversation of not embracing it.
10:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
10:27
[SPEAKER_01]: At one time, that was not a calculator.
10:29
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
10:29
[SPEAKER_01]: You and I grew up with a calculator out entire life.
10:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
10:33
[SPEAKER_01]: And then there was software on the computer that I know you did because you'll cover
10:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Tab it older than me.
10:41
[SPEAKER_01]: No, two years depends on which birthday you remember in the moment.
10:45
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
10:47
[SPEAKER_01]: And we are in our on the latter side of our forties both ways.
10:51
[SPEAKER_01]: We used to do longer business.
10:53
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
10:54
[SPEAKER_01]: And you used to could find the square root.
10:57
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't do it today.
10:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, if I know today, you sent me now to find the square root of the thing that I don't know by memory.
11:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
11:04
[SPEAKER_01]: But those things we had to do by hand.
11:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Great.
11:08
[SPEAKER_01]: and they sold us on the value of doing that because that is what the test required.
11:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Today, maybe not so much because the answer might be more valuable in how it plugs into a solution that you're getting to the solution of this part of the answer.
11:23
[SPEAKER_00]: That process.
11:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
11:25
[SPEAKER_01]: This long division product is going to take you ten minutes to be one eighth of the problem.
11:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Not realistic.
11:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I came out of corporate three years ago.
11:34
[SPEAKER_01]: That wasn't the focus.
11:35
[SPEAKER_01]: No, right.
11:37
[SPEAKER_01]: So use all the tools that are available.
11:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Now there's that's a value in knowing how what thing works.
11:43
[SPEAKER_01]: But to the point is, our conversation is signed, AI is not going to replace the physical effort that you're going to do now.
11:50
[SPEAKER_01]: So I think it's safe in that regard.
11:52
[SPEAKER_01]: But you have to be mindful of the tools that are being generated.
11:56
[SPEAKER_01]: How is that going to actually enhance?
11:58
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
11:59
[SPEAKER_01]: So Chad GPT and now I know there's a few other ones.
12:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just more familiar with Chad GPT.
12:07
[SPEAKER_01]: is a shot cut, but the destination is still the destination.
12:12
[SPEAKER_01]: You got to get there and you got to understand how you get there.
12:15
[SPEAKER_01]: That's another thing.
12:17
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm a, it popped my head yesterday.
12:19
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like thinking to myself, a conversation, I should have vocalized.
12:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Do you know how to get to your school?
12:26
[SPEAKER_01]: You ride with me every day and you look down and you look up and you're at the school.
12:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
12:32
[SPEAKER_01]: Correct.
12:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, we got maps.
12:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Sure.
12:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Certainly.
12:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Certainly you do.
12:38
[SPEAKER_01]: But I don't want you to lose that.
12:41
[SPEAKER_01]: That need that desire to actually know a thing for you, not just know what to access the answer to a thing.
12:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm glad you said that because that really listen.
12:53
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife too.
12:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Wow, how to get anything.
12:58
[SPEAKER_00]: We don't get to every chance we get.
13:01
[SPEAKER_00]: There's, there are studies and discussions being had now about that very thing.
13:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Losing focus of, of, of, and don't misconstrual we're saying that we're not, this whole conversation isn't about AI.
13:14
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about self-awareness, check the mirror, keep yourself on par.
13:19
[SPEAKER_00]: And a big part of that is it's an enhancement speaking of AI.
13:24
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a tool it's supposed to add to not take away.
13:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Studies are showing now it's dumbing society down because if I can think my way through this issue or I can just drop a prompt into the screen and it spits out the answer.
13:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I createivity.
13:45
[SPEAKER_00]: It's suffering from it.
13:47
[SPEAKER_00]: Our lack of problem solving.
13:50
[SPEAKER_00]: That's becoming an issue.
13:51
[SPEAKER_00]: So now these things that we can normally do, nine, five people, and you know their phone numbers by heart, and not the ones that had the number when you were, yeah, yeah.
14:02
[SPEAKER_01]: But post, I couldn't call you if I needed to.
14:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Post yourself on the area.
14:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I couldn't even tell you the area code on your phone number.
14:10
[SPEAKER_00]: You see what I mean?
14:11
[SPEAKER_00]: because they're so many within a metropolitan area.
14:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Take it.
14:14
[SPEAKER_01]: When you take it from wherever you are, correct.
14:17
[SPEAKER_00]: You got your A three, two, seven, one, three, and what have you two, one, four.
14:20
[SPEAKER_00]: So because of there's multiple in the area, you haven't even dedicated the brain space to know how to actively get in contact with an emergency contact.
14:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Should there not be
14:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You're falling around that that's doing to save the number.
14:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Same about writing papers now.
14:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Same about communicating your thoughts to another person.
14:39
[SPEAKER_00]: You can't communicate human to human without bringing in the computer, bringing in the prompts, bringing in the AI, right?
14:46
[SPEAKER_00]: So because this issue is prevalent, the fear, the thing that society now speaks on it fears is becoming a reality and their hand in it over.
14:57
[SPEAKER_00]: It's not even a battle.
15:00
[SPEAKER_00]: It's a surrender.
15:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, because they're saying we're so heavily dependent upon it that I need you.
15:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't walk away from me as opposed to fight back and keep yourself sharp enough in the mirror because now we're assessing.
15:13
[SPEAKER_00]: You have to set some type of perimeter to how am I on this?
15:18
[SPEAKER_00]: How am I doing with this?
15:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Where am I on my trade?
15:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Where am I on my studies?
15:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Where am I on my social scale?
15:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Am I networking enough with people who are gonna be decision makers once we get out here?
15:30
[SPEAKER_00]: trade journeymen, this person in this trade, we're learning side by side, but maybe if they're networking harder than me or they're looking at something else or maybe they come from a long line of owners of entities in that trade.
15:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And this person is just here to learn the trade and slide off and do their own thing, going to be handed everything.
15:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Imagine if I'm rubbing elbows with this guy, we become close.
15:54
[SPEAKER_00]: And he like, hey, I want you to go in on this with me.
15:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I respect your work that let's go eat.
16:00
[SPEAKER_00]: bring him alone.
16:01
[SPEAKER_00]: You never know who you're talking to or who you next to.
16:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Same thing in school.
16:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Some people say, hey, you're paying all of this money to go to, maybe one of the Ivy League schools.
16:11
[SPEAKER_00]: And perhaps the education is not the same.
16:13
[SPEAKER_00]: Those people aren't paying for education.
16:15
[SPEAKER_00]: Those people are paying for accessibility.
16:17
[SPEAKER_00]: I need to be next to rubbing shoulder to shoulder, elbow to elbow, with possibly the next generation of decision makers.
16:25
[SPEAKER_00]: That way, you're not necessarily questioning me about my merit or my worth ethic.
16:30
[SPEAKER_00]: You've seen it indirectly because when the same course, we're on the same campus.
16:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So because of that, now I'm in the mirror of making sure, I'm making the biggest impact
16:44
[SPEAKER_00]: to my surroundings that I possibly can.
16:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Taking advantage of this, he liked the impact and what you've absorbed in.
16:52
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
16:52
[SPEAKER_01]: That's one of the things that came up on social media, what on the interview that earned your leisure was going on, or a chance podcast.
17:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And he was talking about opportunities that they run into because they're in a certain space.
17:07
[SPEAKER_01]: The real opportunity is still in the room.
17:11
[SPEAKER_01]: The net AI will give you access to information and skills and capabilities.
17:18
[SPEAKER_01]: But that networking piece is still a real thing.
17:20
[SPEAKER_01]: They were talking about, um, that was an opportunity to invest in poppy soda, the probiotic or pre-bite with every probiotic soda, like a healthy version of it.
17:31
[SPEAKER_01]: Three years ago, somebody was telling them the story.
17:35
[SPEAKER_01]: After the fact they were in the room with the person,
17:38
[SPEAKER_01]: and the opportunity was presented to the person that passed on.
17:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Said, two hundred fifty k, you know, you, you get a group of people, you can be in this thing, two hundred fifty k, early this year, Pepsi board for like three or four billion.
17:52
[SPEAKER_01]: So the X on that, even if those five people knew a fifty k, he's was the executive they gave, the return would have been like one point five million per fifty thousand that was in it.
18:03
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's because
18:06
[SPEAKER_01]: They're in rooms, they're engaging, that when I, that working, I understand the term, but I think it's, I think it's over use.
18:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not talking about networking in terms of.
18:19
[SPEAKER_01]: calling a social gathering network.
18:22
[SPEAKER_01]: No, I'm talking about, and I know you mean the same like with intent.
18:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Correct.
18:25
[SPEAKER_01]: You're, you're observing your, you're offering value, you're looking to extract value in some kind of exchange, not just hanging around people.
18:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
18:34
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
18:35
[SPEAKER_01]: So that, that is one thing that, that is concerning in terms of what the AI approach would do.
18:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Another piece of it is, in all changes, get the calculator example.
18:48
[SPEAKER_01]: Every generation has had their thing that has impacted how things were done up at that point.
18:54
[SPEAKER_01]: So the new technologies always coming along, coming to market.
19:02
[SPEAKER_01]: I think our generation may have seen the most changes within the generation.
19:07
[SPEAKER_01]: And I chose it.
19:08
[SPEAKER_01]: It might be two or three acts where we've seen.
19:12
[SPEAKER_01]: But the value is still annoying, even just stand on Chad G.P.T.
19:18
[SPEAKER_01]: saying it's dumb in us down.
19:20
[SPEAKER_01]: It's dumb in us down by choice.
19:23
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think if it's dumbing you down, you were on a path to being that because of how you do it don't ask questions.
19:31
[SPEAKER_01]: The value is only as good as the prompt correct.
19:34
[SPEAKER_01]: So the challenge now is to get the better prompt faster quicker to get the better result.
19:41
[SPEAKER_01]: That that still takes the skill it does.
19:45
[SPEAKER_01]: If you put in there, hey, design me this thing.
19:47
[SPEAKER_01]: You have to design you a thing, but this is the thing solution.
19:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
19:50
[SPEAKER_01]: So what do I, it's like coding?
19:52
[SPEAKER_00]: It is.
19:53
[SPEAKER_01]: You can, I want to tell my age, but, you know, when I was at code class, you could put in whatever prompts that you want.
20:01
[SPEAKER_01]: It doesn't mean that it actually gives you value in return or that it actually works.
20:05
[SPEAKER_01]: because you knew some string of code to put together, but not understanding how this piece works with this piece that you, this thing, that's gonna solve the gap that the company has so that you have the challenge you have.
20:15
[SPEAKER_01]: So they're still gonna be value in that and understanding how to use the tools that are coming to market.
20:23
[SPEAKER_01]: So those are the conversations that I'm, don't just being class, being in class, right?
20:28
[SPEAKER_01]: It's starting slow.
20:28
[SPEAKER_01]: We just, these are lectures that we cut some pipes today.
20:33
[SPEAKER_01]: He wasn't disappointed, but having been through a trade, I know you don't jump in and they don't hang you the well until you might carry the scraps of metal and stack them up.
20:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Because when it's time for you to well, you might appreciate how it's stacked or how they're compartmentalized or designated spaces.
20:52
[SPEAKER_01]: I need three, sixteen.
20:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to mix with the copper because the reaction with the stick well is going to be way
20:59
[SPEAKER_01]: because you've seen my hurt you.
21:00
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
21:01
[SPEAKER_01]: In my hurt you.
21:02
[SPEAKER_01]: So those things, you know, it's like, I know they come past because they're going to use that when they go to bill because it's going to shield the wires and things that are right.
21:10
[SPEAKER_01]: I've seen the setup.
21:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
21:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
21:11
[SPEAKER_01]: So don't sign don't miss don't think that there's a particular point where you have to start paying attention.
21:17
[SPEAKER_00]: No, because now yesterday.
21:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
21:20
[SPEAKER_00]: No shortcut.
21:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Certainly, which, which shifting a little bit into applying
21:29
[SPEAKER_00]: the importance of time snapping where you are in a thing.
21:33
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to be too specific because I wanted to apply to multiple areas of life.
21:39
[SPEAKER_00]: But I specifically want to talk about relationship.
21:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And I mean like human interaction relationship, not necessarily your significant other.
21:48
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm talking friends, family.
21:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we get into a mode of expectancy that life is or tomorrow's guarantee that's coming.
21:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And obviously over the last two weeks, I've personally witnessed two people being put to risk, you know what I mean?
22:10
[SPEAKER_00]: So now the conversations are being had about missed moments and missed opportunities.
22:16
[SPEAKER_00]: So the mirror on that from that aspect is assessing yourself within a relationship.
22:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Because I can honestly say prior to
22:29
[SPEAKER_00]: these funerals.
22:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I had already told myself I was one conversation away from cutting some relationships off.
22:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to reach out to there's a group.
22:40
[SPEAKER_00]: There's a list of certain people.
22:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, that's how intentional I was about it because because of the type of friend or type of person I am.
22:48
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I say, once you're in my circle, you and my circle.
22:51
[SPEAKER_00]: And so we hold each other accountable.
22:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So I was like, hey, I need to sit down with this person and have a conversation, I have a lifelong friendship, which that and itself to some are safe.
23:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So what are we talking about?
23:02
[SPEAKER_00]: You're thinking about severing a lifelong friendship, not severing, but scaling as far back down as possible with still shouldn't be a thing.
23:14
[SPEAKER_00]: There was some movements that was taking place that I just did not agree with or didn't sit well with me to say, you know, I'm so close to a person.
23:22
[SPEAKER_00]: So a lot of conversations are coming out that these billionaires, when they're in their last moments of life, one of their biggest regrets is cutting people off too quickly or severing meaningful relationships over whatever it is because
23:43
[SPEAKER_00]: ten years later, you don't even remember why you cut this special person out of your life in the first place.
23:49
[SPEAKER_00]: So because of the weight that these people holding your lives, whatever the phase of life that you are that person is in, that's causing you guys to not be on the same page or as close or as interactive as you have been, the fact that you've known
24:07
[SPEAKER_00]: that that person is capable of being that meaningful to you in your life.
24:13
[SPEAKER_00]: That should hold enough weight for you to continuously work at it.
24:17
[SPEAKER_00]: And in life is built on contradiction, right?
24:20
[SPEAKER_00]: True.
24:20
[SPEAKER_00]: There's things of
24:21
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't do this, but you should do this.
24:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, don't hurt a person, but protect yourself.
24:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I for a night.
24:26
[SPEAKER_00]: It happens in the Bible.
24:27
[SPEAKER_00]: It happens in everyday in my life.
24:28
[SPEAKER_00]: So we have to actually look and assess when to be when.
24:34
[SPEAKER_00]: That's why I can't be so cookie cutter.
24:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It can't be machine like it can't be calculated well.
24:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Statistically, I'm supposed to act this way with you now.
24:44
[SPEAKER_00]: It's deeper than that.
24:44
[SPEAKER_00]: The human emotion, the human interaction,
24:47
[SPEAKER_00]: will never be extinct because it's gonna constantly be needed and when that's removed, we're in trouble.
24:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So I say that to go into, are we expressing the level of importance to our sons, our children, but our sons of these people that you're interacting with right now in this phase of your life, these people that you're meeting and all about to meet,
25:17
[SPEAKER_00]: how seriously diligent you should be and really seeing who this person is because you're potentially meeting your lifelong friends.
25:27
[SPEAKER_00]: If it's the mirror of what we've done, because I know you have lifelong friends that you're still brothers with.
25:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I have the same.
25:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I've met you late in life, but now you're in that circle as well, my brother, you understand?
25:38
[SPEAKER_00]: So because we've moved that way and they've seen it because they've seen these relationships
25:47
[SPEAKER_00]: I would like to think they're just gonna automatically replicate or repeat that thing, hoping.
25:52
[SPEAKER_00]: So are we talking to them enough about the importance of, don't let the small things ruin the great thing?
25:59
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
26:00
[SPEAKER_00]: No.
26:02
[SPEAKER_01]: My answer is no, cause I, we had an episode of a while ago talking about, like, what would it take to cut a friend off?
26:13
[SPEAKER_01]: But what would it take to,
26:15
[SPEAKER_01]: be a good friend and evaluate your friends.
26:18
[SPEAKER_04]: I know I'm missing those conversations.
26:21
[SPEAKER_04]: Like I out.
26:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Again, because of COVID, like those a couple of those two years.
26:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And my kids were approached either in high school or coming like a year off from high school with a hit.
26:35
[SPEAKER_01]: Those are the times that I remember.
26:36
[SPEAKER_01]: So me personally, I went to small private schools.
26:40
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I said it before all the way through eighth grade.
26:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And then when I got to high school,
26:44
[SPEAKER_01]: There's fifteen hundred people in one place.
26:48
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I was like and no and that's not that I didn't have friends in private school.
26:53
[SPEAKER_01]: But the ones that you hear about on this podcast that whatever conversation we have and you talk about your boy and that's all about like those are from people that came from high school.
27:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Just and I remember coming from a place where
27:09
[SPEAKER_01]: I lived in the same city, but I wasn't on the, like I wasn't in the sports series.
27:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I didn't know none of them.
27:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
27:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
27:14
[SPEAKER_01]: So it was like, it was, it was interesting navigate in my way and finding these people that I'm still connected with the day.
27:20
[SPEAKER_01]: And like you just said, I assume that that's how it happened.
27:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Like that's how my parents decided to have put their parents.
27:29
[SPEAKER_01]: But when that space of time we were trapped in the house, they didn't have to find their
27:37
[SPEAKER_01]: freedom and people interacting with people, right?
27:40
[SPEAKER_01]: They found it in devices, which again, the device wasn't the problem.
27:46
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no.
27:48
[SPEAKER_01]: The device became babysitters for a lot of us or distractions.
27:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And I know for a fact that I had conscious thoughts of, I mean, I ain't got enough.
27:59
[SPEAKER_01]: The minutes, that's how they interact, right?
28:02
[SPEAKER_01]: But how to actually
28:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm starting to see my son's friends now, and it's kind of been more like evaluating because, like my partner's show, my partner's my parents call it a song.
28:18
[SPEAKER_01]: They might show up and hit the snack drawer, the house without me.
28:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Without me.
28:23
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
28:24
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, my mama hit me to like, well, what am I gonna stop by?
28:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I ain't lived there.
28:29
[SPEAKER_01]: You know what I'm saying?
28:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm checking on it in a bunch of years.
28:33
[SPEAKER_01]: Or I call them and they call me this side by and all of that.
28:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't see that development.
28:38
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I can't tell you who my son's three closest friend.
28:44
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know he probably has them.
28:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
28:47
[SPEAKER_01]: I might can recognize, I don't know the story.
28:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Like the people that came for his birthday party, the people that went to Broadway, I get it.
28:54
[SPEAKER_01]: But there's no daily interaction.
29:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Like this.
29:01
[SPEAKER_01]: Like I don't, I don't know that parents to call them.
29:05
[SPEAKER_01]: to call the one to understand what that with that child came from.
29:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Watch this.
29:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Watch this.
29:13
[SPEAKER_00]: I think that's what I would say is this platform, like we said, helping young boys young men know now what we wish we knew then and having these meaningful conversations.
29:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Dear dad, I guarantee mom knows those things.
29:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I guarantee, because I know that's what I'm gonna say in my household, I was the same way.
29:49
[SPEAKER_00]: I know some of these people now, but she knew way before I did.
29:55
[SPEAKER_00]: She saw a name dropping his friends and I'm like, what were you even talking about?
30:01
[SPEAKER_00]: She's on best friend.
30:03
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't know who that is.
30:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't do that.
30:05
[SPEAKER_00]: Please don't do that to me.
30:07
[SPEAKER_00]: So it made me start to pay attention.
30:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, okay, you heavily hanging with this person and this person, this person, I do need to be more vested and find out if this were you spending a majority of your time.
30:21
[SPEAKER_00]: What do I think of this person's character based on what's being displayed to me when this person is around, right?
30:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So she has phone numbers to the parents.
30:29
[SPEAKER_00]: find out she's having conversations with the other moms.
30:34
[SPEAKER_00]: So again, in each scenario, and these are two parent households of all these friends, another rarity for me, because I didn't grow up around it.
30:41
[SPEAKER_00]: It wasn't prevalent.
30:42
[SPEAKER_00]: It was there.
30:43
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to, you know, discredit.
30:46
[SPEAKER_00]: But my experience, the majority of the young men that I knew, they came up in a single parent home.
30:53
[SPEAKER_00]: So now this, this era, everybody's in, in dual parent homes,
30:59
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's the wives communicating about what these young men have going on in their extracurricular activities.
31:05
[SPEAKER_00]: And the dads are defaulting into good, good, good.
31:10
[SPEAKER_00]: Your life, your eating, you got somewhere to sleep, yeah.
31:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Bravo.
31:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And so now I feel like
31:17
[SPEAKER_00]: We're trying to encourage fathers to be more interactive, more engaging, more involved of the conversation.
31:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you said, your motivation for even inventing this platform is I want to have deeper and more involved conversations with my son.
31:30
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
31:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want the relationship to suffer all that.
31:33
[SPEAKER_00]: Not be a relationship beyond this.
31:36
[SPEAKER_00]: You good?
31:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, sir.
31:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Good.
31:38
[SPEAKER_00]: We're done.
31:39
[SPEAKER_00]: So because of that,
31:42
[SPEAKER_00]: That's just the piggyback off what you see here.
31:44
[SPEAKER_00]: The next segment that I would love to go into kind of deals with that is well.
31:50
[SPEAKER_00]: The looking in the mirror or watching the mirror a lot of times will take self-help as people and we take it and run with it.
31:59
[SPEAKER_00]: The biggest self-help that I think society
32:03
[SPEAKER_00]: has taken in run with is loving yourself.
32:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know that sounds ironic because one would say you can never love yourself too much.
32:12
[SPEAKER_00]: And you shouldn't, there's a healthy level of love for yourself.
32:16
[SPEAKER_00]: But there's always the danger of too much of anything is not good for you.
32:21
[SPEAKER_01]: I love yourself.
32:22
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
32:23
[SPEAKER_00]: So now, again, going back to the intro, there are people that are so in love with themselves, they need to kind of divorce themselves a little bit.
32:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not open to help.
32:36
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not open to other ideas that would absolutely enhance what you have going on.
32:41
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not open to constructive criticism.
32:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Your wife can come to you until you, hey, I'll be transparent with transparent here.
32:49
[SPEAKER_00]: My wife on my head right now about my diet and my health.
32:55
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know it's coming from a great place.
32:59
[SPEAKER_00]: But don't like it.
33:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't, I, boy, it frustrates me, but it frustrates me because it's a thing that is necessary that I'm not addressing properly.
33:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So because I'm not addressing it properly, she's like, hey, I'm right here.
33:15
[SPEAKER_00]: What do we need to do?
33:16
[SPEAKER_00]: What's your next fitness goal?
33:18
[SPEAKER_00]: And until you're ahead of goal, what are you talking about?
33:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Exactly.
33:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So what is your next fitness goal?
33:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
33:25
[SPEAKER_00]: Aggravate me in the moment, but hindsight looking at it,
33:28
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to be more receptive to that because I need it.
33:31
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
33:31
[SPEAKER_00]: Like I'm actively confiding in her and letting her know that it is a concern.
33:36
[SPEAKER_00]: It is something that I would love to do better and get deeper into and be consistent with and get over some elements that are present right now.
33:46
[SPEAKER_00]: But I can't be so in love with my thought process that I'm not receiving her level of expertise.
33:53
[SPEAKER_00]: She does this for a living man.
33:55
[SPEAKER_00]: She helps people
34:00
[SPEAKER_00]: get their lives together physically.
34:02
[SPEAKER_00]: You understand?
34:04
[SPEAKER_00]: So imagine being married to the source.
34:08
[SPEAKER_00]: But then when the source tries to give it to you for free, mind you to an extent.
34:16
[SPEAKER_00]: And you, you offended.
34:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you don't want to hear it.
34:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, you don't want to receive it.
34:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And it.
34:23
[SPEAKER_00]: OK.
34:23
[SPEAKER_00]: OK.
34:24
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I'm on it.
34:24
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm on it.
34:26
[SPEAKER_00]: No, you're not.
34:27
[SPEAKER_00]: Because if you were, we wouldn't be having this conversation.
34:30
[SPEAKER_00]: So I know that was around about, but right there which, right, that's why I'm saying the message again, trying to make certain we're not dropping the ball on sharing with our children.
34:46
[SPEAKER_00]: The importance of be receptive.
34:52
[SPEAKER_00]: The biggest problem I had in school to this day is rough draft.
34:56
[SPEAKER_00]: I had a professor, he brought in
34:59
[SPEAKER_00]: a car with probably fifteen twenty books talking about rough draft.
35:07
[SPEAKER_00]: So he I'm talking last semester wrote a little paper in class right now jot down some ideas.
35:14
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm I'm sitting there thinking of myself brilliant killing this.
35:18
[SPEAKER_00]: He came over and he was like, this is a great first start, first start.
35:23
[SPEAKER_00]: You didn't get this, but you're getting this.
35:25
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, oh, am I?
35:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, it took that opinion out.
35:27
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, okay, right here, where are you going to develop this?
35:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I think about that.
35:32
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, no, he was like, never falling in love with your first anything.
35:36
[SPEAKER_05]: I was like,
35:40
[SPEAKER_00]: I did two more versions of it.
35:43
[SPEAKER_00]: And when I looked at the third version versus the initial that I was in love with, it was basic compared to the third.
35:54
[SPEAKER_00]: So the importance of being receptive and divorcing yourself and receiving outside eyes and criticism, I struggle with that.
36:05
[SPEAKER_00]: I take it here and there and I again, I disguise it with
36:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know everything.
36:10
[SPEAKER_00]: But I don't feel like I do.
36:13
[SPEAKER_00]: But when I'm convinced about a thing, I'm very convinced about a thing.
36:17
[SPEAKER_00]: That means you think you know everything to an extent.
36:20
[SPEAKER_00]: What's your perspective on that?
36:23
[SPEAKER_01]: I agree.
36:26
[SPEAKER_01]: And I put up a pose this week.
36:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, in the caption that I was talking about the hardest part of being an artist is releasing your art into the world for public consumption and critique.
36:40
[SPEAKER_01]: That is why we were just talking about the documentary, right?
36:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yes.
36:45
[SPEAKER_01]: There was some technical issues as well.
36:48
[SPEAKER_01]: But I'll be so convinced about a thing until I realize that that thing has to be convincing to other people.
36:57
[SPEAKER_01]: And the part of it is, it doesn't necessarily, it's not necessarily about me being open to the fact that I'm wrong, right?
37:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Is do I really want to get into it with these people because they're wrong about my thing?
37:10
[SPEAKER_01]: that didn't strike them the way it struck me?
37:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Y'all miss it.
37:13
[SPEAKER_01]: How could it not strike you the way that it struck me?
37:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I crafted it to strike you this way, this.
37:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I could, I could, I could regard to say I could, uh, reinforce everything that you say about not falling in love with the idea of you, um, your idea of you.
37:34
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna offer an expanded perspective that I think is helpful to you.
37:39
[SPEAKER_01]: Don't fall in love with other people's perspective of you, because there has been part of my challenge.
37:48
[SPEAKER_01]: They don't figure it out.
37:50
[SPEAKER_01]: No ninja, I actually do not know.
37:54
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know, and I don't think I can tell you because you keep saying, I'm gonna figure it out.
37:58
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the consensus that Nadiga will be straight.
38:01
[SPEAKER_01]: I am crooked.
38:03
[SPEAKER_01]: I am bit all the way up right now.
38:05
[SPEAKER_01]: All to in today.
38:07
[SPEAKER_01]: I have no clue.
38:09
[SPEAKER_01]: No clue how this thing is gonna work out.
38:10
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
38:11
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
38:11
[SPEAKER_01]: To be fine.
38:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And though that's not that fault.
38:15
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
38:15
[SPEAKER_01]: I've accepted the narrative or I was accepting of that narrative.
38:19
[SPEAKER_01]: So I didn't, I won't even reach out.
38:23
[SPEAKER_01]: When you talk about, I think my back surgery is from me taking the couch upstairs when you next door.
38:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm taking the couch upstairs by myself because my son didn't hear me calling him in his room.
38:36
[SPEAKER_01]: And if I'm gonna walk upstairs, I might as well walk upstairs with the couch.
38:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I ain't gonna make two trips.
38:42
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, that's my toxic thing is being, and it's hard work to a point where people perceive it that way and that's great.
38:52
[SPEAKER_01]: But sometimes they are phases of life.
38:55
[SPEAKER_01]: When you don't have the capacity to be that, everybody expects you to be that, it's almost like you don't want to let them down.
39:06
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a more value than you actually getting the help asking for the help that you need.
39:11
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
39:12
[SPEAKER_01]: Wow.
39:14
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the other side of the coin from me on that.
39:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, my wife is, yeah, that's my wife asking, did you take your medication?
39:22
[SPEAKER_01]: But we have for them.
39:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, why are we talking about the things that I'm not doing?
39:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Square.
39:28
[SPEAKER_01]: All of us don't need to be concerned about the things that I'm not doing.
39:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I know I'm not doing the things that was being done.
39:34
[SPEAKER_01]: No waste or worry on it.
39:37
[SPEAKER_01]: We got other things that we could worry about.
39:40
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I'm saying?
39:41
[SPEAKER_00]: That's crazy to me.
39:42
[SPEAKER_00]: And I know you serious.
39:44
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling you not to downplay this with laughter.
39:46
[SPEAKER_00]: But
39:48
[SPEAKER_00]: The idea of how dare you care this much about what I do.
39:52
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know.
39:53
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not way sure where you are.
39:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I'll put that somewhere else.
39:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I always have it figured out.
39:58
[SPEAKER_01]: This is the, uh, what I want is the, is the representation.
40:04
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
40:05
[SPEAKER_04]: Yes.
40:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And, and, and right there, think about that.
40:11
[SPEAKER_00]: This is who I am.
40:13
[SPEAKER_00]: This is my identity.
40:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Remember that identity, episode, see my identity.
40:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So that never goes away.
40:22
[SPEAKER_00]: No, these things never go away.
40:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And the more you find the way to not talk about it, you're enabling that very thing.
40:32
[SPEAKER_00]: Because sometimes that discussion is the thing that will help you redirect.
40:36
[SPEAKER_01]: That's it.
40:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Help you redirect.
40:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I am, I am king of not addressing
40:42
[SPEAKER_04]: the last five percent of a thing.
40:47
[SPEAKER_01]: Because of what that accountability brings being at a hundred percent of a thing.
40:53
[SPEAKER_03]: Who?
40:55
[SPEAKER_01]: Is that what I do?
40:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I do.
40:56
[SPEAKER_01]: I stay on the documentary thing.
40:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been ninety percent done with that documentary for a year and a half.
41:06
[SPEAKER_01]: In the last ten percent,
41:08
[SPEAKER_01]: I negotiated in my mind, I want to do some more.
41:12
[SPEAKER_01]: I kind of want to elevate it like.
41:17
[SPEAKER_01]: Because when there's nothing left for me to negotiate to do, I have to release it.
41:22
[SPEAKER_00]: There's no reason for me to hold it.
41:25
[SPEAKER_00]: But if ten percent's not there, I'm right up.
41:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
41:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Close.
41:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Close.
41:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
41:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm, you know, maybe, maybe done in some three summers in a row.
41:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Man.
41:35
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
41:36
[SPEAKER_00]: Man.
41:37
[SPEAKER_00]: Trust me.
41:37
[SPEAKER_00]: So these are the things that we have to focus on because again, if we don't talk about it, we don't address it.
41:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Then it continues to be that very thing.
41:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So because it's that thing, we're like,
41:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
41:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Like you say, I'm not, if I don't open that bill, I don't have to face that negativity today.
41:57
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm the king of do the ball.
41:58
[SPEAKER_00]: If I don't look at it, it's not happening.
42:01
[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't happen.
42:02
[SPEAKER_00]: It didn't happen.
42:04
[SPEAKER_00]: And okay, here's another one.
42:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Twice that Anna, we've been turning that thing off.
42:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So because I'm looking away.
42:16
[SPEAKER_00]: I, I, we're getting towards the, the back end, if you will, of the episode.
42:21
[SPEAKER_00]: So I had a recent experience.
42:25
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not gonna name drop.
42:26
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not even gonna say the relationship that the person has has to me, but there was a, I was moving a certain way.
42:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And I wasn't available enough for it.
42:39
[SPEAKER_00]: And this two men involved, I wasn't available enough to this person, to this guy.
42:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And it bothered the person to the point where
42:52
[SPEAKER_00]: They stopped communicating with me.
42:54
[SPEAKER_00]: We talked all the time about how busy I am and how much I'm going and how much I'm on the road and I'm rolling.
43:00
[SPEAKER_04]: But I went to the city that this person lives in and I did not reach out to that person and tell them I was in town.
43:17
[SPEAKER_04]: me and my, my very close.
43:21
[SPEAKER_00]: One of my closest brothers I have.
43:23
[SPEAKER_01]: It's Travis.
43:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It's Travis.
43:26
[SPEAKER_00]: So you don't listen.
43:27
[SPEAKER_00]: We might would drop the thing.
43:30
[SPEAKER_00]: You know my brother.
43:31
[SPEAKER_00]: No, I don't care.
43:32
[SPEAKER_00]: I won't even I don't care.
43:33
[SPEAKER_00]: We're here now.
43:34
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't care.
43:35
[SPEAKER_00]: So you know my brother.
43:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I have a brother.
43:37
[SPEAKER_00]: I have to have two younger brothers.
43:38
[SPEAKER_00]: One of them lives in to be clear now.
43:40
[SPEAKER_01]: You actually going into.
43:41
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going into it.
43:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
43:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm revealing.
43:42
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm telling you.
43:43
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I do that yesterday.
43:47
[SPEAKER_00]: So I have two younger brothers and I'm not gonna name drop him, but he knows who he is.
43:52
[SPEAKER_00]: My younger brother that still lives in Houston.
43:56
[SPEAKER_00]: me and Travis went out to a bar in Houston one night.
44:00
[SPEAKER_00]: And I ran into my little brother.
44:01
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about this is we're our dad son.
44:04
[SPEAKER_00]: We're the same dad.
44:05
[SPEAKER_00]: You understand, so I run into my my younger brother.
44:07
[SPEAKER_00]: I almost said my favorite brother.
44:08
[SPEAKER_00]: But so we're running to him in the in the bar.
44:13
[SPEAKER_00]: And Travis was like, I was like, man, he is broken.
44:19
[SPEAKER_00]: We embrace him.
44:19
[SPEAKER_00]: We hug and we now he kicking it with us in the moment where we are.
44:25
[SPEAKER_00]: It's almost like I saw a moment where it kind of hit him like you in time.
44:30
[SPEAKER_00]: It's about change there.
44:32
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
44:33
[SPEAKER_00]: So after that, I reached out, phone, text, calls, nothing.
44:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Like a brother wouldn't take any of my calls.
44:45
[SPEAKER_00]: So that went on probably, man, eight months to a year.
44:50
[SPEAKER_00]: So recently we had a,
44:54
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't want to call it necessarily a tragedy, but a tragic event to place in the family.
44:59
[SPEAKER_00]: And so now that kind of forced us back into communication, which I didn't, I didn't know we were out of communication.
45:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I knew something was going on because I hadn't talked to them.
45:10
[SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean?
45:11
[SPEAKER_00]: So now he expressed to me like, hey man, I wasn't okay with finding out how close we are and you were coming to town and I reached out to me.
45:25
[SPEAKER_00]: That affected me to hear him say that.
45:26
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it really hurt me because I felt bad about it.
45:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, man, you're right.
45:31
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, man, I, everything I could say and did say, just, it just don't matter.
45:39
[SPEAKER_00]: It don't make it okay.
45:40
[SPEAKER_00]: You're good for you.
45:41
[SPEAKER_00]: You're busy.
45:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You did see that.
45:43
[SPEAKER_00]: But you found the time for you and your partner to be at a bar.
45:48
[SPEAKER_00]: but your brother right here, you can call me.
45:51
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, call me.
45:52
[SPEAKER_00]: Even, here's like, role reverse.
45:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Think about that.
45:55
[SPEAKER_00]: If I'm headed towards you, if I'm coming to Dallas, I'm calling you when I'm getting on the road.
46:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Even if my schedule tight, hey, meet me over here.
46:03
[SPEAKER_00]: Let me put my eyes on you.
46:06
[SPEAKER_00]: And I told them, I said, man, I really suck at that.
46:09
[SPEAKER_00]: And my brothers in Shreafport, Derek, Ryan, Mark East, these guys running Miami, but
46:16
[SPEAKER_00]: All of these guys as I did a self inventory.
46:21
[SPEAKER_00]: And as I noticed, I've become that same guy with all of these people.
46:25
[SPEAKER_00]: My biological brothers, my brother extended brothers.
46:30
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to their cities.
46:32
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so busy that I'm not going by and see the kids.
46:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to see the wife.
46:38
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm not going to see the new born baby.
46:40
[SPEAKER_00]: My partner just had a baby in the last six months to a year.
46:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Like the baby from the be a year old.
46:47
[SPEAKER_00]: And I've been to the city twice.
46:50
[SPEAKER_00]: Didn't hit my mind of stop, stop what you're doing.
46:54
[SPEAKER_00]: Go over here.
46:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Spend time fellowship.
46:58
[SPEAKER_00]: A partner came here from Miami with his kids and they were on the go.
47:03
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm so on the go here in my own hometown.
47:06
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't stop for a moment to pull up on them.
47:08
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, hey, I'm on my schedule.
47:11
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought I was going to be able to come by the house, but I'm over here.
47:15
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm getting ready to go up the plane.
47:16
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I'm trying to catch you while I'm on this side of town.
47:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, you just pull up.
47:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I was like, man, we just got over here.
47:23
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm actually in Fort Worth, but we coming back.
47:25
[SPEAKER_00]: He was like, okay, I'll catch you next time.
47:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, this on me, but I'm frustrated about
47:34
[SPEAKER_00]: things that they have nothing to do with.
47:36
[SPEAKER_00]: I created this environment and my schedule that I allowed, I've allowed to consume my time like that.
47:46
[SPEAKER_00]: And at the end of the day, once a lot of this stuff, these, these, this juggling that I'm doing, when everything settles and I feel like, okay, this is my breathing point at what cost.
47:59
[SPEAKER_00]: What happened to these relationships though?
48:01
[SPEAKER_00]: Because what if now everybody's like,
48:04
[SPEAKER_00]: Hey, how you doing, glad you're all good.
48:06
[SPEAKER_00]: Because we'll always be cordial, but you're sacrificing that intimacy, that closeness of a good friend of a good relative of your family that actually care about you and cut for you.
48:17
[SPEAKER_00]: We miss it, not on that part.
48:19
[SPEAKER_00]: We so busy chasing money and opportunities.
48:24
[SPEAKER_00]: the money going to be there.
48:25
[SPEAKER_00]: And if it's not a well, if the society as we know it comes to a screeching halt tomorrow, do you have loved ones and people and friends that y'all can bond together?
48:36
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's your village now.
48:38
[SPEAKER_00]: And now we're going to provide for each other when the money is gone.
48:42
[SPEAKER_00]: You see what I mean?
48:43
[SPEAKER_01]: So, yeah, I had a conversation with one of my partner, Mike.
48:48
[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, doing it.
48:52
[SPEAKER_01]: and he hit me, he hit me yesterday and my other partner, Vernon, that was in the video.
49:00
[SPEAKER_01]: That's the man, the man told me.
49:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, we're sitting there and we just started kicking it.
49:06
[SPEAKER_01]: When I saw his name, the thing is when I saw his name, I ain't nowhere to think, because we don't talk enough or regular.
49:14
[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like when you start saying like when you, when there's distance, not that there's beef, right?
49:19
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, oh, what?
49:21
[SPEAKER_01]: Yo.
49:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Man, we were sitting here thinking like, he said, man, why have you problem day?
49:28
[SPEAKER_01]: I was wrong with him.
49:29
[SPEAKER_01]: So I was like, why won't you post it?
49:31
[SPEAKER_01]: I thought, because he ended up having to, he ended up having to take me to my date house and get her car.
49:38
[SPEAKER_01]: All of us walked out together.
49:40
[SPEAKER_01]: All of us went there.
49:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, you and go check that up.
49:43
[SPEAKER_01]: So it might be late.
49:44
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yeah.
49:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
49:46
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, the car guy represents.
49:49
[SPEAKER_01]: It wasn't my cause, my parents call.
49:50
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't supposed to have it there.
49:51
[SPEAKER_01]: I wasn't supposed to be there at all.
49:53
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the quicks and I love it.
49:55
[SPEAKER_00]: Don't do, don't do Mr. Jones like that.
49:57
[SPEAKER_00]: The bank didn't reposess it.
49:58
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, no.
49:58
[SPEAKER_01]: I said, my parents call.
50:00
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
50:00
[SPEAKER_01]: My parents came and gave me my parents came and got their car.
50:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
50:05
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
50:05
[SPEAKER_01]: That could have been there.
50:06
[SPEAKER_01]: That could have been there.
50:07
[SPEAKER_01]: That could have been there.
50:08
[SPEAKER_01]: Miss, Miss Cascuru.
50:10
[SPEAKER_01]: But we all came outside.
50:12
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, you know this, I won't.
50:14
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, yeah, that was it.
50:15
[SPEAKER_01]: We were just sitting and talking, but you won't trip into nothing.
50:18
[SPEAKER_01]: It's like, it's breast God.
50:21
[SPEAKER_01]: It's carry on.
50:22
[SPEAKER_01]: Go, go find it up.
50:24
[SPEAKER_01]: So the point was, it was just, we kicked it for about forty five minutes on the phone.
50:30
[SPEAKER_01]: Just like, man, was that true?
50:32
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, yeah, because we was, you know what I mean?
50:35
[SPEAKER_02]: Yes.
50:35
[SPEAKER_01]: And he was like, man, I'm so proud of you, man.
50:38
[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, I'd say my son's squeeze like, yo, I meant to hit you that day when I saw it.
50:41
[SPEAKER_02]: Yeah.
50:42
[SPEAKER_01]: And it, it was reassuring that
50:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Like it, I don't know about too, but like it means something for my boys to be proud of, like my brothers to be proud of me, to see me, to be proud of me.
50:52
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like man.
50:53
[SPEAKER_01]: He's like, yo, when you said just someone's going to trade school and you support him, he's like, I knew he was a different person.
50:59
[SPEAKER_01]: And I wasn't even thinking about it like that, but I had because he was like, man, for you, everything was college, college, like you were so focused, like you were so focused on getting your career.
51:08
[SPEAKER_01]: And I couldn't imagine you were not like, you were allowing your children to be, to be, to be a not putting that pressure on.
51:14
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I can't force them.
51:16
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
51:16
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you can, you can coerce them enough to what they feel like they're obligated to certainly.
51:21
[SPEAKER_01]: But it was, it was good to hit that.
51:25
[SPEAKER_01]: And then the Congress, you know, in the Congress, he's like, man, you're gonna make it to our third year reunion.
51:30
[SPEAKER_01]: This is two years from now.
51:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Two years ago is never that far back.
51:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Two years forward, always seems like it's forever.
51:40
[SPEAKER_01]: It does, but it's not.
51:41
[SPEAKER_01]: What the reality is, whenever I'm at home, I don't, I've gotten accustomed to not seeing people
51:51
[SPEAKER_01]: guilty, not seeing them.
51:53
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's just the way it is.
51:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
51:54
[SPEAKER_01]: Like in this, we moved, some people come to visit, you know, we'll get those and some people should come to visit because they said that's coming to visit.
52:04
[SPEAKER_01]: That part.
52:06
[SPEAKER_01]: You felt it was for you.
52:08
[SPEAKER_01]: If you felt it was for you.
52:09
[SPEAKER_00]: I said Mr. Travis Travis that part last time I bought been the dad that's been all I want to hijack the store.
52:15
[SPEAKER_01]: That I could name Yeah, I ain't gonna name it now because we're going to football season and I have I'm taking half of them really take it.
52:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, like you did you see the uh sign though?
52:26
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you see the uh the real about the guy to gave his wife a letter talking about um
52:32
[SPEAKER_01]: A temporary, not a temporary separation, but a temporary reduction in duties.
52:35
[SPEAKER_01]: No, no, from from September to February.
52:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Something had a whole thing had a read it.
52:43
[SPEAKER_01]: And before I could hit my part and he was in the comments, I was like, I just, I, I was waiting.
52:48
[SPEAKER_01]: I was going to send it to you.
52:50
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyhow, but like, yeah, I've done, I've done a poor job of
52:57
[SPEAKER_01]: Not seeing people, not letting people know that I need them, even if it's just to hear me out.
53:07
[SPEAKER_01]: It's a lot of stuff I don't say outside of my head.
53:11
[SPEAKER_01]: And sometimes, somebody's saying, I just need to say outside, you know, saying, get it off and let whatever come back come back, even if it's not, you know, so why you feel like that?
53:23
[SPEAKER_01]: Because I don't ask myself that, why would I?
53:25
[SPEAKER_01]: Why would I ask myself, why do I feel like this?
53:27
[SPEAKER_01]: I came up with this feeling.
53:28
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
53:29
[SPEAKER_01]: It had to be right.
53:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And I'm gonna reinforce it and had to be right.
53:32
[SPEAKER_01]: It had to be a gift.
53:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Me up until now came up with this.
53:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have none better than this in me.
53:39
[SPEAKER_01]: So don't ask me why I came up with this.
53:40
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
53:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't be here.
53:41
[SPEAKER_01]: I would give you my best people.
53:42
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
53:43
[SPEAKER_01]: It all the time.
53:44
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
53:45
[SPEAKER_01]: Big guilty.
53:45
[SPEAKER_04]: Thank you.
53:46
[SPEAKER_04]: So more of the story across the episode.
53:53
[SPEAKER_00]: is self-awareness, good or bad, too much of anything is not a good thing, but self-awareness.
54:01
[SPEAKER_00]: So being more intentional, here that word a lot on our platform, more intentional love,
54:09
[SPEAKER_00]: the stories and lessons in our head, making it out and into our children's ears so that they can be old only because obviously it's just your floor.
54:19
[SPEAKER_00]: So you got anything else for the good people as we wrap up?
54:22
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't have my book handy because we switched to studio, right?
54:28
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's just an excuse.
54:29
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's the best excuse I have, people.
54:30
[SPEAKER_01]: This is what I came up with on the spot.
54:32
[SPEAKER_01]: But a dead son, twenty-light process, still to say the fact of parenting, the old is our order.
54:36
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
54:37
[SPEAKER_01]: That man may not have been a commercial in this episode.
54:39
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, think about that.
54:40
[SPEAKER_01]: You might have seen, I might be reinforcing or this part might be cut up.
54:45
[SPEAKER_01]: You know, the no cause I'm editing it.
54:46
[SPEAKER_01]: And I might leave it in for a fit.
54:48
[SPEAKER_01]: But that book is available on my wife's book, chocolate, princess, volume one, very well illustrated, very well written.
54:56
[SPEAKER_01]: Get to get your young scholars your young ladies five, fifteen.
54:59
[SPEAKER_01]: Get them all to tablet for a couple of hours.
55:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Let her read a book.
55:02
[SPEAKER_01]: Please, thank you.
55:03
[SPEAKER_01]: Let your grandma read it to them.
55:04
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, grandma, whoever.
55:06
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, that's available.
55:07
[SPEAKER_00]: A lot of people have been inquiring about the deer sun shirts.
55:12
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, the design network.
55:14
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure coming.
55:16
[SPEAKER_00]: So somebody got there at home, but I don't have one yet.
55:18
[SPEAKER_00]: But it's coming.
55:19
[SPEAKER_00]: I put my request in.
55:20
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm right there with the people talk of my my request in it made it known.
55:25
[SPEAKER_01]: I apologize.
55:26
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna get it all first.
55:27
[SPEAKER_01]: That's okay.
55:27
[SPEAKER_01]: That's toxic trick.
55:28
[SPEAKER_01]: It's okay.
55:30
[SPEAKER_01]: And if you came up with a design, I would get it.
55:34
[SPEAKER_01]: Quite positive.
55:35
[SPEAKER_01]: But I probably would have printed this for me first.
55:37
[SPEAKER_01]: Quite positive.
55:39
[SPEAKER_01]: But then I'm saying it on camera.
55:40
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
55:41
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
55:41
[SPEAKER_00]: So, you know, next couple of episodes, you ought to see me in the design network.
55:45
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure, this will.
55:46
[SPEAKER_00]: But I say that to say the shirts are available for sale.
55:50
[SPEAKER_00]: They are available for purchase.
55:52
[SPEAKER_00]: And so the link will be in the bio as well, although she had catching his new jargon.
55:57
[SPEAKER_00]: See me.
55:58
[SPEAKER_00]: So without further ado, I had one moment in my home.
56:02
[SPEAKER_04]: Let me, I'm a holiday.
56:03
[SPEAKER_04]: I'm a holiday.
56:05
[SPEAKER_04]: So how are you going to remember?
56:06
[SPEAKER_03]: I finally heard a clip song that I enjoyed.
56:13
[SPEAKER_03]: Just standing.
56:15
[SPEAKER_03]: Which one were you on?
56:18
[SPEAKER_00]: Far ahead.
56:19
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
56:20
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that on the new album though?
56:22
[SPEAKER_01]: And then just by for real.
56:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
56:23
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
56:24
[SPEAKER_00]: That's on the new album.
56:26
[SPEAKER_01]: They'll know what it is when I'm on it.
56:28
[SPEAKER_00]: You got to sing it.
56:28
[SPEAKER_00]: Is that on the new one?
56:29
[SPEAKER_01]: Stay catch up.
56:30
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't want it.
56:31
[SPEAKER_01]: But you know what's crazy.
56:32
[SPEAKER_01]: So far ahead, ninjas behind.
56:36
[SPEAKER_01]: I only like one of the verses.
56:38
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
56:39
[SPEAKER_00]: I like the hook and I like one of the verses.