Latest / WDYM What Do You Mean? / Read it on Reddit Relationship Advice 1 (The Alabama Slammer!)

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Read it on Reddit Relationship Advice 1 (The Alabama Slammer!) · WDYM What Do You Mean?

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: Hey guys, this is Michael, the host of the WDYM, the What Do You Mean podcast.
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• 1:26
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Michael Gillespie.
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_00: We are going straight into episode 15.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: Episode 15, which is 9 out of 40 for this first season of the WDYM, and it is titled I Reddit from Reddit, relationship advice.
• 1:39
  SPEAKER_00: Uh first and foremost, guys, I just want to always thank you guys for always clicking in, checking in on the WDYM and what are we doing today and what we're doing this week.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: We're getting straight into the relationships on Reddit.
• 1:50
  SPEAKER_00: Don't know if you know anything about Reddit.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: Reddit's where just people just throw up a bunch of information on there and uh come across relationship advice.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: And I found a couple stories I wanted to read to you guys.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_00: So without further ado, let's get straight into it.
• 2:04
  SPEAKER_00: This first one is from Correct Pension 7644, which is titled, My Girlfriend basically said a lot of uncomfortable things while drunk, and I don't know what to feel.
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_00: It goes on to read.
• 2:16
  SPEAKER_00: So earlier today, my girlfriend and I had a little party in our apartment with most of our closest friends.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: We're invited at about 30 people.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: Brought a lot of alcohol and food, but I didn't drink much because I needed to go home because I have a major final exam tomorrow, and I have a few remaining hours of the day.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_00: I need to check my final review.
• 2:34
  SPEAKER_00: All I was know it was unfortunate scheduling, but that is why I didn't have a hard time convincing them that I really needed to go.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_00: My girlfriend says she will update me, update me by calling from time to time.
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: She did call to check on me and give me assurance that she's okay and she's having fun.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_00: I was glad because they were all having fun until the last call that we had.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: She called and it seemed like she was a little drunk, but she was still responding to my questions properly.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: After a few minutes, I heard her best friend asking questions about our our relationship particularly uh particularly uh within our four walls in our bedroom.
• 3:13
  SPEAKER_00: My girlfriend answered all the questions with complete detail and maybe more.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: I felt uncomfortable as they talk about the things that we did in our bedroom.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: I asked her to stop, but she didn't.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Even our friends are stopping her over sharing, but she wouldn't stop.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: Then the call just dropped out of nowhere.
• 3:32
  SPEAKER_00: I felt that I was I was pissed because it was something that we agreed not to tell other people.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: At least the way she did.
• 3:38
  SPEAKER_00: Uh but I still did not want to I still do not want to get mad because I know she was drunk.
• 3:44
  SPEAKER_00: I'm trying to understand her, but I can't I can't dismiss the feeling that my boundaries were violated and I can't focus right now.
• 3:51
  SPEAKER_00: So what what advice do you give this person?
• 3:55
  SPEAKER_00: I am so glad you asked.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: So let's start off with the first thing.
• 4:06
  SPEAKER_00: Um, alcohol.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Alcohol, I always believe when someone is drunk or is inebriated to a point where they just spill stuff, start saying things, that is their true self, that is their true feelings.
• 4:18
  SPEAKER_00: All that is true.
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_00: Just the alcohol gives them the courage to do it.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_00: Now, should you feel what'd you say?
• 4:29
  SPEAKER_00: Uh you said you're upset, you're pissed, and you have every right to be.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, always believe that what you do behind your four walls in your bedroom is your privacy between you and that person.
• 4:41
  SPEAKER_00: Now, you even said you guys agreed not to tell any other people.
• 4:45
  SPEAKER_00: Question number one Why do you have to, you know, uh have a discussion about what is greed that happens in those four walls?
• 4:54
  SPEAKER_00: That should be common knowledge.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: In my book, it should be something that's common knowledge.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: You don't go around spreading, hey, I'm doing the Alabama slammer in my bedroom.
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_00: Ha ha.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: No.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: Because I'm gonna tell you why.
• 5:07
  SPEAKER_00: If you have the courage to talk about it, you need to have the understanding that people are gonna get curious about it too.
• 5:12
  SPEAKER_00: When uh you start talking about, like I said, the Alabama slama.
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_00: If you're doing all that, guess what?
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_00: Somebody wants to experience that same Alabama slammer, and you shouldn't do that.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: This is why you don't talk about things outside of your relationship.
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_00: When it comes to relationship and things that happen in relationships, it should stay too between you and that person.
• 5:32
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, that's the thing.
• 5:33
  SPEAKER_00: So, yes, uh correct pension 7644, you have a right to be upset.
• 5:39
  SPEAKER_00: Now, one of the things that is not said in this is uh the length of your relationship.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_00: If your relationship has value to you, I really do think you should talk to this person and say, hey, look, I understand we've been together X amount of time, and um, I feel like we should set boundaries, and this time don't do it again.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: So that was story one.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Number two.
• 6:10
  SPEAKER_00: This one's titled I just need a vent and get advice.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I am a 22-year-old female and I am stuck.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have conflicting emotions.
• 6:20
  SPEAKER_00: There's been a guy who's 25 who I've been seeing for nine months, but he can't give me what I want, which is a relationship.
• 6:30
  SPEAKER_00: We have had continual issues with him picking fights and withholding relationships, quote unquote, from when upset with me.
• 6:40
  SPEAKER_00: I really started seeing a man I work with who is 47-year-old male.
• 6:44
  SPEAKER_00: He is he is kind and amazing in everything, and I want in a that everything I'm sorry.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Uh I really started seeing a man I work with who is 47, he is kind and amazing in everything I want in a partner, but there is an age gap.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_00: I am unsure how the world around me would react to our relationship.
• 7:04
  SPEAKER_00: I have started to wonder if maybe something is wrong with me.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Any advice?
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: This is from Peaches R I.
• 7:12
  SPEAKER_00: Peaches, you want advice?
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I got you.
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_00: Peaches, you are 22.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_00: You are seeing you've been with a 25-year-old guy, and you're already having problems after nine months, right?
• 7:30
  SPEAKER_00: Again, there's no titles in this.
• 7:32
  SPEAKER_00: There's no boyfriend, girlfriend, no commitment in this.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_00: So if you're having problems after nine months, there's nothing wrong with you doing what you're doing.
• 7:43
  SPEAKER_00: There's no boyfriend, girlfriend on this, on this.
• 7:45
  SPEAKER_00: So now you're seeing somebody who is 47 years old, and you are just 22.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_00: Let me let that sit for a minute.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: 47, 22.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_00: This ain't a football score.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_00: 47, 22.
• 8:01
  SPEAKER_00: Peaches, I mean you find someone younger than you.
• 8:04
  SPEAKER_00: What you gonna do with this man?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: Huh?
• 8:06
  SPEAKER_00: He is 47 years old.
• 8:08
  SPEAKER_00: He's he's almost 50.
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need this.
• 8:12
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're worried, if you're okay, so here's the thing.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_00: You said you're worried about people reacting to your relationship.
• 8:17
  SPEAKER_00: That's proof you don't need to be with a 47-year-old because you're worried about what other people think.
• 8:23
  SPEAKER_00: Don't if you're if you are smitten by this guy who's 47 and this is what you want, then go for it.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_00: Do it.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: But he's 47.
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_00: You trying to tell me you can't find someone you're aged?
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: 47.
• 8:40
  SPEAKER_00: You're 22.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: You can't find someone 32?
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: 32 is acceptable.
• 8:45
  SPEAKER_00: 42.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: You're pushing it.
• 8:48
  SPEAKER_00: 47.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_00: We're gonna have to let this one go.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_00: He's about to be 50 in three years.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: And in three years, you'll be 25.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_00: You'll be in your prime.
• 8:58
  SPEAKER_00: And this guy is he's out of his prime.
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_00: Let's be honest.
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_00: You need to find someone your age that, you know, can hang with you, can go out.
• 9:08
  SPEAKER_00: This man might fall, and that might be the rest of that.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: He might die.
• 9:12
  SPEAKER_00: There's things you need to think about.
• 9:14
  SPEAKER_00: So I'm gonna say drop the 47-year-old, find you somebody who's nor your age, and someone that you can have fun with.
• 9:21
  SPEAKER_00: Okay.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: Peaches.
• 9:29
  SPEAKER_00: We gotta do something about that.
• 9:30
  SPEAKER_00: Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
• 9:32
  SPEAKER_00: So, moving on to story number three.
• 9:36
  SPEAKER_00: This is from Radical222.
• 9:39
  SPEAKER_00: How do you ask someone if they've been seeing somebody else I'm sorry?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: How do you ask someone if they've been seeing somebody else?
• 9:46
  SPEAKER_00: Hi everyone.
• 9:47
  SPEAKER_00: I've been seeing this female who's 36 for a few months now.
• 9:51
  SPEAKER_00: We've been on a few dates, we hang out, recently had relations for the first time.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: She has kids.
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_00: I should point that out because I know she's busy a lot for that reason.
• 10:02
  SPEAKER_00: When she doesn't have her kids, she still talks, she still takes a long time to message me back at times, or I'm left hanging for hours at a time, and I and I use WhatsApp.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_00: And I think about texting her even when she hasn't replied, so I can see if she's online or even recently been online.
• 10:19
  SPEAKER_00: So I feel discouraged and say, never mind.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_00: I feel like she's take she's talking slash seeing someone else.
• 10:25
  SPEAKER_00: We haven't had a talk about being exclusive, so it makes me makes me want to ask her because in my mind she's exclusive to me.
• 10:34
  SPEAKER_00: And I would never start seeing someone even after all the progress we've made.
• 10:39
  SPEAKER_00: So far.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_00: Radical.
• 10:46
  SPEAKER_00: Two, two, two.
• 10:47
  SPEAKER_00: You are a 28-year-old male, and this woman's 36 with kids.
• 10:52
  SPEAKER_00: Have you ever thought she just tired?
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_00: She is tired.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Do you have kids?
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm guessing you don't.
• 10:58
  SPEAKER_00: When when you have kids, you're doing things for the kids.
• 11:01
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta pick them up, gotta go karate, you gotta pick them up, gotta go chilling, gotta pick them up, go take them to basketball practice, gotta pick them up from school, you gotta feed them.
• 11:08
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta get sure to get them up for school.
• 11:10
  SPEAKER_00: You gotta there's so many things that come with kids that you're thinking about yourself.
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, maybe I'm coming from this being a parent and everything.
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_00: But kids is tiring.
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_00: I got yeah, and you said you see her online and everything.
• 11:24
  SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I might she might be checking her Instagram just for a little bit because she's tired.
• 11:29
  SPEAKER_00: She's on that couch tired.
• 11:30
  SPEAKER_00: She gotta cook, pick them up, clean, do everything.
• 11:34
  SPEAKER_00: We didn't we don't know where the father figure is in this in this in this situation.
• 11:40
  SPEAKER_00: She might be just tired.
• 11:44
  SPEAKER_00: Go get you some of these kids, something that we call kids.
• 11:46
  SPEAKER_00: It ain't for the week.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_00: You just after working, and you don't.
• 11:51
  SPEAKER_00: I mean, what if she's working, trying to take care of herself and the kids too.
• 11:56
  SPEAKER_00: And you want to be, well, I just feel discouraged.
• 11:59
  SPEAKER_00: You should, but at the same time, kids.
• 12:03
  SPEAKER_00: They take a lot of energy just to keep, maintain, on top of everything else as a normal human being, and you want to be upset because she ain't calling you back.
• 12:13
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you should text her because maybe she's forgot, or maybe she's snapping on that couch, wanting to text you, but she don't have time.
• 12:22
  SPEAKER_00: Okay, kids take a lot of energy.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you should think about that when you should.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_00: So, this is what you should do text her, show her interest.
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_00: So, hey, look, I'm getting three or four messages from this man because he must be really interested to me and my kids and my family, right?
• 12:37
  SPEAKER_00: So that that might be a melting point for her.
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_00: She'd be like, oh well, this guy might be serious, and I like that.
• 12:42
  SPEAKER_00: So maybe, radical, you should think about that.
• 12:51
  SPEAKER_00: And this is my last one.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_00: This is the last one for the day.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_00: This one's from Clove 20011.
• 13:00
  SPEAKER_00: My roommate feels like I'm hanging out with my partner too much.
• 13:05
  SPEAKER_00: Here's here's what she said.
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_00: My roommate and I are both female and are really close friends, and we spend a lot of time together.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_00: So she gets really upset at any time, she gets really upset anytime I want to spend time with my boyfriend, and often uses it against me in a lot of things.
• 13:22
  SPEAKER_00: For example, I got back from a trip with him about a week ago and wanted to see him tonight, and she felt like I haven't spent enough time with her.
• 13:31
  SPEAKER_00: I tried to talk to her about it, but it didn't go really well on either end.
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_00: I generally don't know what to do as this is starting to affect both my relationship with her and my boyfriend as well.
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_00: So, Clove 20011, what do you do?
• 13:54
  SPEAKER_00: See, this is this is funny because this is what I this is one of the things that I always notice when you know when girls do things together, they do this, they do this.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_00: The one of them is moving on as they might see a boyfriend, and the other one just hating.
• 14:07
  SPEAKER_00: This is exactly what it is, Clove.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_00: She's hating, she is hating the fact that you have somebody and that you were in a relationship and it's going somewhere, and guess what?
• 14:17
  SPEAKER_00: She don't have that.
• 14:19
  SPEAKER_00: This is all gonna kind of go back to the first one about the Alabama slammer.
• 14:22
  SPEAKER_00: She sees you getting the Alabama slammer, and now she's jealous because all that time you spending with the Alabama slammer, she ain't getting it.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, here's the thing friends stick with you no matter what, right?
• 14:39
  SPEAKER_00: If she's really your friend, she would she would be okay with this, right?
• 14:43
  SPEAKER_00: She would be all like, you know what?
• 14:45
  SPEAKER_00: My girl's got her boyfriend.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_00: I should be real proud of her.
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_00: She should be really happy for her, but she's not.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_00: You see that?
• 14:54
  SPEAKER_00: And now that you're you're having fun, spending time with this boyfriend and everything, and now it's affecting the boyfriend.
• 15:01
  SPEAKER_00: Boyfriend's like, yo, this lady's hating on me for liking this woman.
• 15:06
  SPEAKER_00: I don't understand what's happening.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_00: But you see this, don't you?
• 15:10
  SPEAKER_00: You see this, right?
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_00: And now out there to a point where the boyfriend's like, well, I don't know if we should continue this relationship.
• 15:16
  SPEAKER_00: And now what should now what?
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_00: Now what are we doing?
• 15:20
  SPEAKER_00: Now he's like, yo, I don't know if I should be with him now.
• 15:22
  SPEAKER_00: The girl's gonna be mad.
• 15:23
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yo, you ain't spend enough time with me.
• 15:25
  SPEAKER_00: What happens if you lose if you lose the boyfriend?
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_00: Then she's still gonna have those feelings in the back of her head.
• 15:30
  SPEAKER_00: Like, yo, you did this before when you got a boyfriend.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_00: How you know you ain't gonna do it again?
• 15:35
  SPEAKER_00: See, this is the thing when these are the things that you gotta think of.
• 15:38
  SPEAKER_00: When you get when when a girl gets a relationship, you gotta think, hey, we're gonna have to move on from this.
• 15:43
  SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna be with this boyfriend, and I'm gonna move on.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_00: Okay?
• 15:47
  SPEAKER_00: That's what you need to do.
• 15:48
  SPEAKER_00: Decide what you want to do, and then move on from there.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_00: And that's it.
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_00: That is it.
• 15:57
  SPEAKER_00: Those four stories from Reddit.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_00: People are crazy.
• 16:01
  SPEAKER_00: And then, you know, these are the four stories I picked out that I thought would be fun to pick at, uh, you know, and then dissect with you guys and all that good stuff.
• 16:09
  SPEAKER_00: I uh I've always liked these relationship things because it's just funny how what people put out there and uh ask for advice, which is perfectly cool.
• 16:18
  SPEAKER_00: Uh, with that being said, that's the end of the episode.
• 16:22
  SPEAKER_00: That is it.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: That is all.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_00: And uh Cue to Music.
• 16:28
  SPEAKER_00: A quick short WDYM.
• 16:29
  SPEAKER_00: This is episode 15.
• 16:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'm your host, Michael Gillespie, and I'm out, Girl Scout, peace.