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372. The Divorce Money Blocks You Don’t Know You Have: How Loss Changes Your Relationship With Money · Dear Divorce Diary: A Fresh Approach To Healing Grief & Building A Life Of Confidence After Divorce

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, love.
• 0:01
  SPEAKER_01: You're getting double episodes, both Tuesday and Thursday, totally free, getting to try premium for free.
• 0:07
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• 0:15
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• 0:19
  SPEAKER_01: So what are you waiting for?
• 0:21
  SPEAKER_01: All right, let's get into it.
• 0:22
  SPEAKER_01: Here's one of those episodes that still holds the truth every time you hear it.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_01: Hi, love.
• 0:33
  SPEAKER_01: Welcome to Dear Divorce Diary, the podcast helping divorcees go beyond talk therapy to process your grief, find the healing you crave, and build back your confidence.
• 0:43
  SPEAKER_01: I'm your host, Don Wiggins, a therapist, coach, integrative healer, and divorcee.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_01: Join me for a fresh approach to healing grief and building your confidence after divorce.
• 1:02
  SPEAKER_01: So today we're going to start with manifesting money.
• 1:06
  SPEAKER_01: We're going to talk about some of the tools that we advocate for over here, some of the things that you need to understand in order to do this in a more meaningful way.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_01: And then we are going to get into the things that need to be addressed in order for you to really clear the blocks to your intentional manifestation of money.
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_01: To really understand how manifestation works, you have to have a sense of how energy works.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_01: And this is the part where certain communities will call this woo-woo or mystical in nature, but it's actually understanding the building blocks of life, which is quantum physics or quantum mechanics.
• 1:44
  SPEAKER_01: Now, all that means is that quantum is some of the smallest packets of energy that are the building blocks of life.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm going to give you a tiny, there's just like a fraction of a quantum physics lesson here, but quantum units of energy have both a particle aspect to them where they have a physical mass, but also a wave aspect to them, which is vibrational.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_01: So often we are focused on the particle aspect of our existence.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: We experience a physical world in a physical body, and we often think that that's the primary aspect of our existence, but it's not.
• 2:23
  SPEAKER_01: We are actually more non-physical energy, aka wave energy, than we are particle energy, but we can't see it, we can't prove it, we can't actually we can prove it per the quantum physics, right?
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_01: But the average lay person doesn't sort of see or understand in a meaningful way that we are mostly vibrational in a way that we cannot see with our naked eye.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we get so used to relying on the physicality of life to manifest, that's where we get roadblocked.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_01: And I'm gonna tell you a funny story about that down the road in this episode, but know that intentional manifestation is about the ability to align and move your energy.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_01: Now, one of the tools that I am a fierce advocate for that is going to help align and move your energy is an understanding of your human design chart.
• 3:20
  SPEAKER_01: And in the show notes, I will share with you a website where you can pull your free chart and an app that I use on a daily basis.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_01: And I have most of my clients in it, and certainly my family members and producer joy and right the women in our coaching program and really keeping track of and helping people understand their human design chart is key to unlocking the successful alignment and movement of your energy to create manifestations.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_01: Why is that so important?
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_01: Well, because, love, you were designed with a very intentional design to be uniquely you.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_01: And most of us live life from a place of programming that our parents and our, you know, the social constructs around us, our churches, our schools, our political alignments and affiliations, various things that have programmed us to believe social media, you know, they've we have been really, really, really programmed to believe that we're supposed to act this way and not that way and that way and not this way.
• 4:19
  SPEAKER_01: And the reality is that you have a particular way to work with your own energy, a particular purpose and personality style.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_01: You have a particular way of manifesting, of making decisions, and of making things happen that is unique to you.
• 4:35
  SPEAKER_01: And some people are supposed to be specific manifestors, some people are supposed to be non-specific, some people are supposed to make decisions based on how things feel, some people on how they think, some people based on their gut instincts, and others based on bouncing ideas off of someone.
• 4:51
  SPEAKER_01: There are ways that you are meant to make decisions, there are may ways you're meant to make things happen.
• 4:57
  SPEAKER_01: Some people are supposed to initiate, some people are supposed to wait to be asked.
• 5:01
  SPEAKER_01: And if you don't know these various metrics about yourself, now you don't need to pull your human design chart to understand that about yourself.
• 5:08
  SPEAKER_01: You could sit with all of these concepts and say, like, huh, how do I best use my energy?
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_01: How do I best make decisions or make things happen?
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_01: But I think that pulling your chart is a really quick way to get an education on self.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_01: And most of us don't trust what we already know about ourselves.
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_01: We already know it, but we don't trust it.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_01: And for some reason, when that human design chart gives you that permission, all of a sudden it clicks, and you're like feeling free to live your life from a place that is truly in alignment.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_01: And so I highly encourage you incorporating this into your manifestation process.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_01: Now, when it comes to money and manifestation, ooh, Lord have mercy.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_01: So many of us have so many blocks around money.
• 6:01
  SPEAKER_01: I highly encourage that you use this track in a number of ways.
• 6:05
  SPEAKER_01: I encourage you to, if you can, jot down some notes and do a little bit of journaling while you're listening to me talk.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_01: If you can't, no big deal, but I want you to also know that this track is going to do a tiny bit of quantum healing around money as well.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_01: And I also want you to use it as a way to just open your mind around the things that need to shift inside of you in order for you to become more receptive of more money.
• 6:32
  SPEAKER_01: Let's dig into the first reason that you do not have more money than you need.
• 6:38
  SPEAKER_01: The first one is that somewhere inside of you, you are holding a negative belief, or some part of you believes that there is not enough money, that there's not enough resources, right?
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_01: And I hear this a lot with people, whether they're clients or I read it on the internet, you know, that there is just this sort of scarcity mindset or belief that there's not enough.
• 6:59
  SPEAKER_01: There's not enough clean air, not enough clean water, not enough money, not enough love, not enough whatever, right?
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_01: And there's just sort of this fear around there not being enough.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_01: And so that's the first belief that has to be shifted.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_01: And I want you to just really keep in mind that anywhere you catch yourself using not enough language, because when we understand how energy works, when you think a thought and when you speak a thought, you are creating a physical reality.
• 7:31
  SPEAKER_01: Our thoughts and our words have vibration, they have vibrational mass, they create an outcome.
• 7:38
  SPEAKER_01: And so when you think scarcity, not enough thoughts, and when you speak them, you are perpetuating the tendency to not have enough money.
• 7:47
  SPEAKER_01: And I would guess, because for most people, when you think about money, you can already feel a constriction or contraction in your body.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_01: You feel a fearful energy, you feel a tightening and not an expansion.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so when we start to address this, we have to zoom out a bit and say, How can I become expansive energy?
• 8:10
  SPEAKER_01: How can I align the energy in my body around trusting that there is enough money?
• 8:18
  SPEAKER_01: And so a tool that I will teach you to use here is to go more general and find easy existing matches in in your current life that will help you feel more in alignment with there being enough.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_01: What do you have enough of right now that you can really focus on the feeling, the very, very good feeling of you do have enough, even if it's just I have enough pillows in my bed, and these pillows feel so nice.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_01: Gosh, these pillows feel so nice.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: They feel so, so, so good.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_01: There is an abundance of pillows in my bed.
• 8:52
  SPEAKER_01: How did I know that about you?
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_01: And I really, really, really love the way this abundance of pillows feel.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_01: Now, that may sound silly, right?
• 9:01
  SPEAKER_01: But this is something we have to practice in order to train ourselves to experience abundance over scarcity.
• 9:09
  SPEAKER_01: I want you to really lean into the practice of highlighting and relishing abundance.
• 9:16
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I'm gonna teach you a little something about the timing of manifestational thought and manifest manifestational sensation.
• 9:25
  SPEAKER_01: Every time you have a thought and you hold that thought for 17 seconds, another thought like it will join.
• 9:33
  SPEAKER_01: So let's say you call up your girlfriend and you're gonna start bitching about your ex, you're gonna start bitching about money, and you start the rant session, right?
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_01: Every seven 17 seconds, another negative thought is joining it until after 68 seconds, you have changed your point of attraction.
• 9:52
  SPEAKER_01: You have tipped down on the vibrational scale, thus reinforcing this idea that there's not enough of something.
• 10:00
  SPEAKER_01: And so this is not to say that we should never vent, but you should do it understanding the vibrational consequences and how that is going to unfold in your efforts to manifest more money.
• 10:12
  SPEAKER_01: Manifestation is a very much connect to the dots process of how we think and how we feel and the outcomes that creates in life.
• 10:22
  SPEAKER_01: It is a very faith-filled process that trusts that there is a greater organization to life, that there is a loving source energy who is looking out for us at all points in time, and that everything is working for us and isn't happening to us.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_01: And this is a massive departure from how most of us live our lives.
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_01: So, your goal from this track to manifest more money is to notice how often this 17 seconds plus 17 seconds plus 17 seconds is tallying up to 68 seconds to where you are sabotaging your own manifestations and for you to start practicing general relishing and gratitude for things that you do have an abundance of in your life.
• 11:58
  SPEAKER_01: Now, at the end of the track, I'm gonna do a little quantum healing around not enoughness, so stay tuned for that.
• 12:05
  SPEAKER_01: Now, the next thing that is blocking your manifestation of more money is somewhere in your life you came to believe that you are not eligible.
• 12:17
  SPEAKER_01: Not eligible.
• 12:18
  SPEAKER_01: Isn't that interesting?
• 12:19
  SPEAKER_01: And one part of you may say, like, gosh darn it, I'm eligible.
• 12:24
  SPEAKER_01: I have to be eligible, I need to be eligible.
• 12:26
  SPEAKER_01: But if you don't believe you're eligible, can't bypass that, right?
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: So we have to reprogram that negative belief around eligibility.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_01: And sometimes it can help to really look at the primary reasons that we may have developed the belief that we're not eligible.
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_01: The first one is often that there's something ancestral about money, right?
• 12:47
  SPEAKER_01: That we inherited something ancestrally about um scarcity and abundance.
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_01: So it might just be interesting to notice what in your, you know, family tree, what messages or issues there were about scarcity.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_01: There are lots of times through history where we know that there were these experiences of not enoughness.
• 13:06
  SPEAKER_01: And in fact, you know, my parents are boomers, right?
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_01: And there's a lot of scarcity stuff that goes on in there.
• 13:12
  SPEAKER_01: So very, very often we've inherited the energy of scarcity.
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_01: The second reason that I find is very, very common around ineligibility for money is something to do with religion or some form of martyrdom, right?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_01: That it is better for the world that I have less, or it is better for, yeah, I don't know, right?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_01: There are religions and concepts, structures in our communities that say to us that we should build up our treasures in heaven and not here in this earthly plane, right?
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_01: That we should not take more than our fair share.
• 13:49
  SPEAKER_01: We while we admire celebrities way more than we should, we cast a lot of shade on billionaires and multimillionaires, right?
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_01: And we tend to roll our eyes and scoff and think that they're bad people, honestly.
• 14:03
  SPEAKER_01: And so there are these messages that live inside of us around I'm ineligible for that kind of wealth, and it's because something around it is wrong or bad or shameful.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so really take a look at where in your history you may have received those messages and internalized them so that you could feel safe in your communities.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_01: The third reason that we often think that we're ineligible to have more money or abundance or wealth is to do with the idea that we might lose something.
• 14:33
  SPEAKER_01: We may fear that we're gonna lose some particular identity with a group of people, or we may feel like we may fear that we're gonna lose relationships.
• 14:41
  SPEAKER_01: Like if I have a lot of something and you don't, is that gonna put distance between us that is a gap that can't be crossed, right?
• 14:48
  SPEAKER_01: And very often this has to do with especially our family of origin.
• 14:53
  SPEAKER_01: If all of a sudden you had plenty and they didn't, what would that feel like?
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_01: What would they say to you?
• 14:59
  SPEAKER_01: How would they treat you?
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_01: What would their expectations be?
• 15:02
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that same applies in social circles and all kinds of places, especially in the communities where we came from.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_01: So I just want you to really get in there about the places where you may have inherited scarcity energy or ineligibility energy around money, where in your belief system around religion or spirituality or community issues you've been told that to have less is to be more humble or more right or more, you know, loving, and where you might be afraid to lose some people or some element of your identity around having more than enough money.
• 15:44
  SPEAKER_01: Now, in order to shift this ineligibility piece, you really got to take a look at your belief system and start to soften things there and get open, open, open to the idea that you are actually designed for abundance and that the more we have, the more we can help other people.
• 15:59
  SPEAKER_01: The more resources we have, the more we can support others.
• 16:02
  SPEAKER_01: Now, I don't want to deny the fact that very often when we have more than enough, we become wasteful.
• 16:10
  SPEAKER_01: That is something that happens automatically.
• 16:13
  SPEAKER_01: I watched my kid do it last week.
• 16:15
  SPEAKER_01: She was cleaning out her playroom and she took a perfectly good coloring book that had never been colored in, and she threw it in a garbage bag.
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I lost my mind.
• 16:23
  SPEAKER_01: Not my proudest moment, right?
• 16:25
  SPEAKER_01: But that is the way of things, that there are people in the world who have more than enough, who throw out things, right?
• 16:32
  SPEAKER_01: Who just toss out things that people who don't have enough would long for.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_01: And so there is an imbalance there around scarcity and abundance.
• 16:40
  SPEAKER_01: And I want to honor and acknowledge that, that there is value in becoming a good steward of our abundance, right?
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that that's the important agreement to make with self.
• 16:51
  SPEAKER_01: That I'm not gonna become a reckless, um, recklessly abundant individual, that I'm gonna be mindful of my resources and I'm gonna be a good steward of these resources.
• 16:59
  SPEAKER_01: I'm gonna use them to create more security inside of myself and in the world around of me.
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_01: And it's going to be a blessing to me and to my community.
• 17:07
  SPEAKER_01: And it is gonna give glory to source energy from which everything, all energy flows.
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_01: Yeah.
• 17:14
  SPEAKER_01: So let's talk a little bit about the resistances that we have to believing that the things I'm talking about are legit.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_01: So producer Joy and I were sort of giggling as we were prepping this episode because we've had these conversations over the years, right?
• 17:31
  SPEAKER_01: And I've always sort of been, I'm a double air slash fire sign.
• 17:35
  SPEAKER_01: I've got my head in the clouds all the time.
• 17:37
  SPEAKER_01: I've got big ideas, I'm a big picture gal.
• 17:39
  SPEAKER_01: And I sing happy little songs to myself about how I'm aging in reverse and I'm gonna have a jet one day.
• 17:44
  SPEAKER_01: And you and I, yeah, yeah, you, I mean you, you and I are gonna fly together to Africa to bring quantum healing and homeopathy to at-risk communities.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_01: And, you know, like I've got these crazy big, amazing, like purpose-driven ideas, right?
• 17:59
  SPEAKER_01: But, you know, not everybody believes these things.
• 18:02
  SPEAKER_01: And so I asked Producer Joy, what would you have said to me a year ago about some of these concepts?
• 18:06
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, Ugh, I would have told you, Dawn, that I have realistic expectations, I have my feet on the ground, and that you, Dawn, do not.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_01: And that I just, you know, that you don't, I would have rolled my eyes at you, Dawn, and said to myself, like, she just doesn't get it.
• 18:21
  SPEAKER_01: And I think that is what really clogs up so much of our manifestational process, right?
• 18:26
  SPEAKER_01: Is that we tell ourselves we have to be realistic and responsible.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_01: Because in some ways, we are fearful of hoping, we are fearful of um believing in ourselves, of really backing ourselves as the horse that's gonna win.
• 18:40
  SPEAKER_01: And we feel like we have to keep our feet on the ground and we have to be realistic.
• 18:44
  SPEAKER_01: And so I said to producer Joy, how much faith is in reality?
• 18:48
  SPEAKER_01: And she said, none.
• 18:50
  SPEAKER_01: The whole point of faith, it's believing in something that can't be seen.
• 18:53
  SPEAKER_01: And I was like, oh, this is so freaking cool, right?
• 18:57
  SPEAKER_01: So, love, intentional manifestation, because your current life is a manifestation of your thoughts and your feelings and your beliefs.
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_01: Your current life is a manifestation, it's the evidence of what your thought life is like and what your belief systems look like.
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_01: And so you gotta own that, friend.
• 19:17
  SPEAKER_01: You gotta own that.
• 19:19
  SPEAKER_01: But one of the key things to understand is that how energy moves and how manifestations come to pass involve a lot of faith and faith-oriented energy, alignment between you and source energy.
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_01: And that means trusting in a power greater than yourself.
• 19:38
  SPEAKER_01: Now, we're gonna move into just a smidgy smidge of quantum healing.
• 19:42
  SPEAKER_01: So when we do quantum healing, there's nothing for you to do except to take a deep breath, be in your body, feel whatever moves through your body, and trust that the process is working.
• 19:52
  SPEAKER_01: And so let's do that now where you just take a deep breath, drop into your body, notice all the things that have been activated around scarcity, feeling that there's not enough, and ineligibility, that maybe this is just not meant for you.
• 20:09
  SPEAKER_01: None of those things are true, and we're gonna treat that now.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_01: So, first things first, I want to check in that there is a part of you that may not want to receive treatment because she's afraid that it is going to be too traumatizing or it's gonna unravel your current belief system and it's gonna feel too painful or too scary.
• 20:35
  SPEAKER_01: And so, to that part of you that is subconsciously afraid to receive treatment, if I say to you that to do this work, to allow treatment to happen means that you will actually feel much greater satisfaction and security and much less pain, would you consider allowing treatment to happen?
• 20:58
  SPEAKER_01: Just take a big deep breath and exhale that out.
• 21:07
  SPEAKER_01: Superconscious, please treat all the parts of her who have come to believe and have become afraid that there is not enough money or that she's not eligible to have more than enough money because she's afraid of losing someone or some part of herself and replace that belief that there's not enough with a belief that she is eligible for abundance to have more than enough, and that there is always enough in the world around her, and she is worthy of receiving her fair share.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_01: Please treat all the complex structures, painful experiences, and memories to do with this.
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_01: Do a massive change history and everything else necessary and repeat until complete.
• 22:05
  SPEAKER_01: There may be a belief coming up that this treatment won't work for you in particular.
• 22:13
  SPEAKER_01: So, superconscious, please treat the parts that believe that this process might not work for her.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_01: Treat the complex structures, painful experiences, and memories that she's somehow going to be left out of this healing process.
• 22:28
  SPEAKER_01: And in exchange, allow her to feel a greater sense of hope and expectation that she can be healed and whole.
• 22:35
  SPEAKER_01: Do a massive change history and everything else necessary and repeat until complete.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_01: Now all there is to do, love, is to take a deep breath.
• 22:44
  SPEAKER_01: Trust that we at least began the process of tackling your subconscious beliefs about money.
• 22:52
  SPEAKER_01: And your job is to run with that, keeping in mind the quantum value of your thoughts and your feelings, follow-up homework to check into your human design, and to continue to use tools that are gonna reprogram your negative beliefs.
• 23:09
  SPEAKER_01: And you can come back to this episode as often as you need and definitely check out the future episodes, right, where we're gonna do immersive manifestation to do with attracting love and losing weight, because those will all continue to chip it away at your internalized negative beliefs about self.
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: Deep breath, let it all go, let it be that easy.
• 23:34
  SPEAKER_01: I love you so much.
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_01: Peace.
• 23:47
  SPEAKER_00: You can find more at mycoachtown.com.