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Donald Drumpf Theatre: No More Kings or Elon Musk's Chainsaw · Donald Drumpf Theatre radio show

• 0:08
  It's time again for Donald Drunk Theater No one knows what is
• 0:17
  up or down Jack or
• 0:18
  white Legal or impeachable Everything is made believe in Donald
• 0:22
  Drunk Theater So
• 0:24
  let's pull the curtain back We are controlling transmission If
• 0:28
  we wish to make it
• 0:29
  SPEAKER_03: louder
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_03: We will bring up the body.
• 0:31
  SPEAKER_03: We can change the focus to a soft blur.
• 0:33
  You're moving into a land of both shadow and substance,
• 0:36
  of things and ideas.
• 0:38
  SPEAKER_03: You've just crossed over into...
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_03: I hear it's fake news, but maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
• 1:00
  SPEAKER_03: I think it's fake news, okay?
• 1:01
  SPEAKER_03: Now, would I do that?
• 1:03
  SPEAKER_03: Absolutely.
• 1:04
  The president of the United States has the authority to do what
• 1:07
  the president has
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_03: the authority to do.
• 1:10
  SPEAKER_03: You will.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I've declared myself as king.
• 1:14
  SPEAKER_00: I learned a lot from Richard Nixon.
• 1:16
  SPEAKER_00: When the president does it, that means that it is not illegal.
• 1:19
  SPEAKER_03: I could cause panic much better than even you.
• 1:21
  SPEAKER_03: I could do much, I would make you look like a minor league player.
• 1:24
  SPEAKER_03: So, Professor, would you say it's time for everyone to panic?
• 1:28
  SPEAKER_03: Yes, I would, Kent.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_03: Welcome to the Resistance.
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_03: I promise you for the remainder of the next four years,
• 1:34
  SPEAKER_03: I will only speak to you in this tone of voice.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: Rockin', rollin', splishin', splashin' over the horizon.
• 1:43
  SPEAKER_03: What can it be?
• 1:47
  SPEAKER_03: Today,
• 1:48
  the United Nations marked the third anniversary of the invasion
• 1:51
  of Ukraine by doing
• 1:52
  SPEAKER_03: the only thing the United Nations can do,
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_03: passing a non-binding resolution asking Russia to please stop.
• 2:01
  SPEAKER_03: Please take that, Putin.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_03: Interesting,
• 2:06
  SPEAKER_03: though,
• 2:07
  SPEAKER_03: among the countries voting against the resolution were North Korea,
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_03: Belarus,
• 2:14
  SPEAKER_03: Russia,
• 2:15
  SPEAKER_03: obviously...
• 2:18
  SPEAKER_03: And the United States of America.
• 2:21
  SPEAKER_03: So it's subtle, but there's been a little shift in our foreign policy.
• 2:25
  SPEAKER_03: Three years ago today, Russia invaded Ukraine.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_03: And to mark the occasion, the U.S.
• 2:32
  SPEAKER_03: sponsored a resolution in the U.N.
• 2:34
  urging an end to the war in Ukraine that did not blame Russia
• 2:39
  for starting the war.
• 2:40
  SPEAKER_03: Because you know what?
• 2:41
  SPEAKER_03: After all this time, who can remember who invaded who?
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it was three years ago.
• 2:46
  It might have been Chris Rock who threw his face at Will Smith
• 2:49
  slapping him.
• 2:51
  SPEAKER_03: I don't know at this point.
• 2:53
  But I guess America doesn't want to set the precedent of
• 2:55
  opposing bloody land grabs.
• 2:58
  Because palling it up with Putin and Kim Jong-un with Russia
• 3:03
  and North Korea,
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_03: that makes us part of,
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_03: um,
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry,
• 3:06
  SPEAKER_03: what's the term?
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_03: An axis of evil.
• 3:11
  SPEAKER_03: But hey, Century being the good guys in America, you know, whatever.
• 3:17
  Oh, they were missing my
• 3:48
  SPEAKER_00: They swore their loyalty until the very end Anything you say,
• 3:56
  SPEAKER_03: King,
• 3:57
  SPEAKER_03: it's okay,
• 3:58
  King You know it's kind of scary on your own We've got to all
• 4:05
  just get together
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_02: It's hard to call each other on our telephone
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_03: And in financial news,
• 4:17
  tech darling GigSlave made its market debut on the New York
• 4:20
  Stock Exchange today
• 4:21
  SPEAKER_03: with an eye-popping valuation of over $84 billion.
• 4:25
  SPEAKER_03: Wow.
• 4:26
  SPEAKER_03: Since launching in 2017,
• 4:27
  the Peter Thiel-backed slave-hailing app has quickly become a
• 4:30
  disruptor in the
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_03: slave industry,
• 4:32
  today boasting a user base of over 200 million loyal slave
• 4:36
  sharers worldwide.
• 4:38
  ONN's Bob Pisetti joining us now from the New York Stock
• 4:40
  Exchange for more reaction.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_03: Bob, this is quite a day for the slaveholders.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: That's right.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_03: GigSlave opened trading today under the symbol GSLV at $58 a share,
• 4:49
  SPEAKER_03: which has already made it this year's largest IPO.
• 4:53
  SPEAKER_03: An even higher valuation than what was initially expected.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_03: Bob, what makes GigSlave so beloved?
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_03: Well, users, of course, love the convenience of it.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_03: Being able to open your phone,
• 5:02
  SPEAKER_03: see slaves in your area,
• 5:03
  SPEAKER_03: and claim human property with the click of a button.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_03: I mean, it's remarkable.
• 5:06
  SPEAKER_03: I'm not even really a tech guy, and I use it all the time.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_03: It is convenient.
• 5:10
  SPEAKER_03: But what investors love are the margins.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_03: This is a high-volume business with basically no overhead,
• 5:16
  SPEAKER_03: very profit-friendly,
• 5:18
  SPEAKER_03: and unlike its competitors,
• 5:19
  SPEAKER_03: Gigslave was early to the human trafficking sphere,
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_03: so still plenty of room to grow for investors.
• 5:24
  SPEAKER_03: One of those shareholders,
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: of course,
• 5:25
  SPEAKER_03: being Gigslave's CEO and co-founder Nathan Sullivan,
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_03: who celebrated today's achievement in a statement,
• 5:31
  SPEAKER_03: Quote,
• 5:31
  We have come a long way since the early days of this company
• 5:34
  when I was shackling
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_03: up our first slave in my garage.
• 5:37
  But what hasn't changed and will never change is GigSlave's
• 5:40
  core mission of
• 5:41
  SPEAKER_03: convenience and dehumanization.
• 5:43
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah,
• 5:43
  I spoke with Nate earlier and he understands that GigSlave is
• 5:46
  really seen as a
• 5:47
  SPEAKER_03: bellwether for the slave labor sector.
• 5:50
  The only question now is will today's success drive other VC
• 5:53
  competitors like
• 5:54
  SPEAKER_03: Apartheidgram and PovertyHub to go public themselves?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_03: We'll have to wait and see, but it certainly seems likely.
• 6:00
  SPEAKER_03: Not a bad time to call your broker.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_03: No, it's not.
• 6:04
  SPEAKER_03: Thank you, Bob.
• 6:29
  You taxed our property You didn't give us any choice You didn't
• 6:41
  give them any voice
• 6:45
  SPEAKER_03: That's what I call taxation without representation And that's not fair!
• 6:55
  SPEAKER_03: It may be cold in New York,
• 6:57
  but Midtown Manhattan is also the center of a red-hot
• 7:00
  controversy over something
• 7:01
  SPEAKER_03: called congestion pricing.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: See,
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_03: last month,
• 7:04
  New York put a toll on most vehicles entering Manhattan's
• 7:08
  central business district
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: from 5 a.m.
• 7:10
  SPEAKER_03: to 9 p.m.
• 7:11
  SPEAKER_03: to cut traffic and emissions, and it's working.
• 7:15
  SPEAKER_03: January saw a 7.9% reduction in traffic,
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_03: and according to the governor's office,
• 7:19
  SPEAKER_03: Broadway shows are selling out,
• 7:22
  SPEAKER_03: and foot traffic to local businesses is spiking.
• 7:25
  SPEAKER_03: Obviously, this seems like a good thing, so Donald Trump ruined it.
• 7:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yesterday, he posted, Congestion pricing is dead.
• 7:34
  SPEAKER_03: Manhattan and all of New York is saved.
• 7:37
  SPEAKER_03: Long live the king.
• 7:40
  SPEAKER_03: The president of these United States has called himself a king.
• 7:44
  SPEAKER_03: which is the thing presidents are not supposed to do.
• 7:47
  Then White House social media posted this image with Trump
• 7:49
  wearing a crown.
• 7:51
  SPEAKER_03: So, yeah.
• 7:54
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah, I agree.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_03: But you know he's trolling us.
• 7:57
  SPEAKER_03: And we shouldn't take the bait.
• 7:58
  SPEAKER_03: But with this guy, every troll is a trial balloon.
• 8:02
  SPEAKER_03: So, here we go.
• 8:03
  SPEAKER_03: Mr. Trump, America will never bow before any king not named Burger.
• 8:11
  SPEAKER_03: For he hath made us all part...
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_03: of the royal family.
• 8:14
  SPEAKER_03: And we... We... And we hunger for onion rings.
• 8:28
  Trump's royal decree did not go over too well with New York
• 8:31
  Governor Kathy Hochul.
• 8:32
  SPEAKER_03: Governor Hochul immediately said...
• 8:35
  SPEAKER_01: At 1.58 p.m.,
• 8:37
  SPEAKER_01: President Donald Trump tweeted,
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_01: Long live the king.
• 8:44
  SPEAKER_01: I'm here to say New York hasn't labored under a king in over 250 years.
• 8:49
  SPEAKER_01: And we are not.
• 8:50
  SPEAKER_02: We sure as hell are not gonna start now.
• 8:56
  SPEAKER_03: So who's right?
• 8:57
  SPEAKER_03: Well,
• 8:57
  Trump's team claims he can end the program because the federal
• 8:59
  government has
• 9:00
  SPEAKER_03: jurisdiction over highways leading to Manhattan.
• 9:03
  SPEAKER_03: Feds already approved the program last year anyway,
• 9:05
  and the federal government cannot unilaterally terminate a
• 9:08
  program once it's begun.
• 9:10
  SPEAKER_03: To put that in layman's terms, we already said yes to the dress.
• 9:22
  SPEAKER_02: a long list of mistakes you made, King.
• 9:27
  SPEAKER_02: I'm going to start with the...
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_02: What did you expect me to agree?
• 9:39
  I'm gonna show you why we dumped it in the ocean With the
• 9:50
  biggest harbor of tea
• 9:57
  SPEAKER_02: We're gonna run our things our own way,
• 10:01
  SPEAKER_00: gonna run our things our own way,
• 10:07
  SPEAKER_00: gonna run into the ground.
• 10:34
  My concern right now,
• 10:35
  and I think I speak for a lot of Americans,
• 10:37
  is we run left.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_02: How can we be represented by you if you don't have a voice in Congress?
• 10:45
  SPEAKER_02: I'm a registered Republican voter and retired active Army officer.
• 10:48
  SPEAKER_02: How can you tell me that Doge,
• 10:51
  SPEAKER_03: with some college-whiz kids from a computer terminal in Washington,
• 10:55
  SPEAKER_03: D.C.,
• 10:57
  SPEAKER_03: without even getting out into the field,
• 10:59
  SPEAKER_02: after about a week or maybe two,
• 11:02
  SPEAKER_02: has determined that it's okay to cut veterans' benefits.
• 11:08
  When are you going to wrest control as the Congress back from
• 11:12
  the executive and
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_01: stop hurting your constituents?
• 11:15
  SPEAKER_03: Are you willing to use your subpoena power to say,
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: Trump,
• 11:18
  SPEAKER_03: or sorry,
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: Musk,
• 11:19
  SPEAKER_03: come in here,
• 11:20
  SPEAKER_03: stand in front of Congress,
• 11:21
  SPEAKER_03: and answer some hard questions?
• 11:22
  SPEAKER_03: When will you stand up to them and say that is enough?
• 11:27
  SPEAKER_03: President Trump has issued a lot of executive orders.
• 11:30
  I think by and large this is moving very quickly compared to
• 11:34
  other administrations
• 11:35
  SPEAKER_03: and I think across the board.
• 11:37
  SPEAKER_03: He's done some very good things.
• 11:48
  SPEAKER_03: He's gotten rid of birthright citizenship.
• 11:57
  SPEAKER_01: Boos from Republicans for Republicans.
• 12:00
  SPEAKER_01: And as I said, there's more.
• 12:02
  Republicans in Congress are right now facing voters in their
• 12:06
  own party and
• 12:07
  SPEAKER_01: Democrats and independents who are very angry when they go home to their
• 12:11
  SPEAKER_01: neighborhoods and communities and home districts.
• 12:14
  It comes after Elon Musk slashing of the federal government
• 12:17
  programs and workforce,
• 12:18
  imperiling jobs and programs and in some cases subsidies that
• 12:23
  their constituents
• 12:24
  have come to rely on and rapidly intensifying and concentrating
• 12:29
  all of the power in
• 12:30
  SPEAKER_01: America's system of government inside the Oval Office.
• 12:34
  SPEAKER_03: Speaking of evil, Elon Musk.
• 12:36
  SPEAKER_03: Elon Musk is in charge at Doge,
• 12:39
  SPEAKER_03: despite the fact that in recent court filings,
• 12:41
  SPEAKER_03: the White House claims that Elon Musk is not in charge at Doge.
• 12:44
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe, maybe he's not.
• 12:46
  SPEAKER_03: Maybe Doge is so chaotic, no one's in charge of it.
• 12:49
  It's just like they taped two samurai swords to the hands of
• 12:52
  the floppy guy at the
• 12:53
  SPEAKER_03: car wash and turned him loose at the CDC.
• 12:55
  SPEAKER_03: Yesterday.
• 13:01
  SPEAKER_03: Yesterday on Air Force One,
• 13:02
  reporters asked Trump if he's going to use Elon Musk and the
• 13:05
  Doge team to cut
• 13:07
  SPEAKER_03: defense spending.
• 13:09
  SPEAKER_03: And his answer was kind of very weird.
• 13:11
  Do you know what they're looking at specifically at the
• 13:13
  Department of Defense right now?
• 13:14
  SPEAKER_03: They're looking at everything.
• 13:15
  SPEAKER_01: And are they going to cut more national security?
• 13:17
  SPEAKER_03: We're going to go into Fort Knox to make sure the gold is there.
• 13:21
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 13:23
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 13:24
  SPEAKER_03: That wasn't the question.
• 13:26
  SPEAKER_03: Doctor, is my husband gonna make it?
• 13:28
  SPEAKER_03: We're going to Fort Knox to make sure the gold is there.
• 13:33
  SPEAKER_03: So what the hell is Trump talking about?
• 13:35
  SPEAKER_03: Follow me down the stupid hole, friends.
• 13:38
  SPEAKER_03: Out on the fringe of the human brain,
• 13:40
  there are some old conspiracy theories about whether the
• 13:43
  government is being
• 13:44
  SPEAKER_03: truthful about the amount of gold in the vault.
• 13:46
  SPEAKER_03: And Musk has been obsessed with these conspiracy theories lately,
• 13:50
  SPEAKER_03: tweeting,
• 13:51
  who is confirming that gold wasn't stolen from Fort Knox and a
• 13:54
  live stream of Fort
• 13:55
  SPEAKER_03: Knox would be fire emoji,
• 13:57
  SPEAKER_03: fire emoji.
• 13:59
  SPEAKER_03: But the inspector is on the case.
• 14:02
  SPEAKER_03: Trump continued to baffle the baffled reporters.
• 14:05
  SPEAKER_03: We're going to go into Fort Knox to make sure the gold is there.
• 14:09
  SPEAKER_03: The fabled Fort Knox to make sure the gold is there.
• 14:11
  SPEAKER_03: If the gold isn't there, we're going to be very upset.
• 14:14
  SPEAKER_03: And after that, we're going to be very upset.
• 14:16
  And after that,
• 14:17
  we're going to see if there's really silver at Long John's.
• 14:21
  SPEAKER_03: If not, you gotta check.
• 14:23
  SPEAKER_03: No one's done an audit.
• 14:25
  SPEAKER_03: No one's done an audit in a long time.
• 14:28
  I'm telling you,
• 14:30
  if the silver's not there,
• 14:31
  then I solve that placemat for nothing.
• 14:36
  SPEAKER_03: This is the chainsaw for bureaucracy.
• 14:40
  SPEAKER_03: Chainsaw!
• 14:42
  SPEAKER_03: The Doge Project.
• 14:44
  SPEAKER_03: The Department of Government Efficiency.
• 14:46
  SPEAKER_03: Headed up by the Nick Cannon of white people, Elon Musk.
• 14:51
  SPEAKER_03: Is in... Is in full effect.
• 14:58
  SPEAKER_03: And it may surprise you.
• 15:00
  SPEAKER_03: I, for one, happen to be, quite frankly, doge curious.
• 15:05
  SPEAKER_03: I'm actually somewhat doge adjacent.
• 15:09
  SPEAKER_03: So, Mr. President, if you would.
• 15:11
  SPEAKER_03: We have to solve the efficiency problem.
• 15:13
  We have to solve the fraud,
• 15:15
  waste,
• 15:15
  abuse,
• 15:16
  all the things that have gone into the government.
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yes!
• 15:18
  SPEAKER_03: Yes!
• 15:21
  SPEAKER_03: Now,
• 15:21
  if you had woken up from a coma and heard nothing else that
• 15:25
  this man had said for
• 15:26
  SPEAKER_03: the last 10 years,
• 15:27
  SPEAKER_03: you might think to yourself,
• 15:28
  SPEAKER_03: I like this guy.
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: I,
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: too,
• 15:32
  SPEAKER_03: believe government needs to be more efficient to weed out waste,
• 15:35
  fraud and abuse and deliver the necessary services that
• 15:39
  Americans rely on more agilely.
• 15:42
  SPEAKER_03: So what do we do first?
• 15:43
  We pour through the inspector general's reports that have
• 15:45
  addressed these things.
• 15:46
  SPEAKER_03: Utilize computerishness to excise redundancies in the system.
• 15:50
  Find ways to more efficiently deliver the government assistance
• 15:54
  so many Americans rely on.
• 15:55
  SPEAKER_03: What's first?
• 15:56
  SPEAKER_02: Elon Musk and his Doge team firing thousands of federal workers.
• 16:00
  They're trying to cut 10% of the federal workforce,
• 16:03
  which is 200,000 jobs.
• 16:08
  SPEAKER_03: Have we determined if those are effective workers?
• 16:11
  SPEAKER_03: Is it based on performance?
• 16:13
  Are you going in with the scalpels so that we don't hit any
• 16:15
  vessels and vital organs?
• 16:21
  SPEAKER_00: This is the chainsaw for bureaucracy.
• 16:26
  SPEAKER_00: Chainsaw!
• 16:33
  SPEAKER_03: So, straight amputation.
• 16:36
  SPEAKER_03: We're just amputation.
• 16:38
  SPEAKER_03: But a chainsaw might actually be a pretty apt metaphor for Doge,
• 16:41
  SPEAKER_03: given that Musk's cutting hastily and without a lot of precision.
• 16:45
  The government's repeatedly had to scramble to rehire employees
• 16:47
  they suddenly
• 16:47
  SPEAKER_03: realized were essential.
• 16:48
  SPEAKER_03: On Monday,
• 16:49
  we learned they were trying to rehire more than 300 employees
• 16:52
  tasked with managing
• 16:53
  SPEAKER_03: America's nuclear weapons.
• 16:54
  SPEAKER_03: Then on Tuesday,
• 16:55
  the USDA said it accidentally fired employees who were working
• 16:58
  on the federal
• 16:58
  SPEAKER_03: government's response to the avian flu outbreak.
• 17:01
  SPEAKER_03: There were also cuts to workers at the National Parks and Foreign
• 17:04
  SPEAKER_03: After massive public outcry,
• 17:06
  SPEAKER_03: they did reinstate some of the park's service workers,
• 17:08
  SPEAKER_03: showing two things.
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: One,
• 17:10
  SPEAKER_03: this administration can be swayed by public pressure,
• 17:12
  SPEAKER_03: and two,
• 17:13
  SPEAKER_03: they have no idea what they're doing.
• 17:15
  And nothing has driven that point home more than Doge's website
• 17:18
  posting receipts
• 17:20
  for their cuts and claiming their total estimated savings are
• 17:23
  $55 billion.
• 17:23
  SPEAKER_03: The claim that immediately fell apart,
• 17:25
  SPEAKER_03: as reporters quickly found the website only accounted for $16.6 billion.
• 17:30
  SPEAKER_03: of savings, but even that figure turned out to be an over-counters.
• 17:32
  They'd mislabeled a canceled contract as being worth eight
• 17:35
  billion instead of eight million.
• 17:38
  And when NPR eliminated other errors like contracts that hadn't
• 17:41
  actually been
• 17:41
  SPEAKER_03: terminated or closed out,
• 17:42
  they found the estimated savings based on the receipts Doge
• 17:45
  posted were closer to
• 17:46
  SPEAKER_03: two billion,
• 17:47
  SPEAKER_03: which is a lot of numbers away from 55 billion.
• 17:52
  SPEAKER_03: And that wasn't the only big claim that quickly fell apart.
• 17:54
  SPEAKER_03: A week ago,
• 17:55
  Musk tweeted out this table showing millions of people in
• 17:58
  Social Security's
• 17:58
  SPEAKER_03: database over the age of 100,
• 18:00
  claiming maybe Twilight is real and there are a lot of vampires
• 18:04
  collecting Social
• 18:04
  Security laughing emojis because he has got an incredible sense
• 18:09
  of humour.
• 18:10
  SPEAKER_03: Trump then amplified those claims at a press conference.
• 18:14
  SPEAKER_03: When I saw the Social Security numbers, I said, well...
• 18:19
  SPEAKER_03: That's really something.
• 18:20
  SPEAKER_03: So we have, let's just go above 100 years old.
• 18:24
  SPEAKER_03: We have millions and millions of people over 100 years old.
• 18:27
  SPEAKER_03: Everybody knows that's not so.
• 18:29
  SPEAKER_03: People from 150 years old to 159 years old.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: 1,345,000.
• 18:30
  SPEAKER_03: These are in the, by the way, these are in the computer files.
• 18:33
  SPEAKER_03: This is what they do well.
• 18:43
  SPEAKER_03: I asked Elon, who are these Doge people?
• 18:47
  He said they're super brilliant computer people and they love
• 18:50
  the country.
• 18:51
  SPEAKER_03: Okay.
• 18:52
  SPEAKER_03: He is clearly reading that for the first time because no one says,
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: wow,
• 18:55
  SPEAKER_03: that's really something when they know what they're talking about.
• 18:58
  SPEAKER_03: As for those brilliant computer people, turns out not that brilliant.
• 19:02
  Because it emerged that that table came from a social security
• 19:05
  database which
• 19:06
  SPEAKER_03: contains basic information on every social security number ever issued.
• 19:10
  A 2023 audit did find that it contained nearly 19 million
• 19:13
  people over 100 without a
• 19:14
  SPEAKER_03: recorded death.
• 19:15
  SPEAKER_03: But crucially...
• 19:16
  The SSA itself had found almost none of them were receiving
• 19:20
  payments from the agency,
• 19:21
  and they did a cost between five and a half and nearly $10
• 19:24
  million to correct those errors,
• 19:26
  SPEAKER_03: likely far more than you'd get back in any savings.
• 19:29
  SPEAKER_03: And that is the thing here.
• 19:31
  SPEAKER_03: For all of Musk and Trump's bragging,
• 19:33
  SPEAKER_03: many of the cuts they're making are random,
• 19:35
  SPEAKER_03: disorganized,
• 19:36
  SPEAKER_03: and just plain stupid.
• 19:37
  And as the real and substantial damages of this become more and
• 19:41
  more clear,
• 19:41
  I'm guessing images like Elon wielding a chainsaw while dressed
• 19:45
  like the Grim
• 19:46
  SPEAKER_03: Reaper on a Vegas bender are gonna spark a ton of public anger.
• 19:50
  SPEAKER_03: And when they find that anger directed right at them,
• 19:54
  SPEAKER_03: if I may borrow the words of a justifiably furious park ranger,
• 19:58
  SPEAKER_03: Good luck with that.
• 19:59
  SPEAKER_02: The DC creature is like an animal infested with ticks and parasites.
• 20:04
  SPEAKER_02: Our money is lining these swamp creatures' pockets.
• 20:07
  You know what you call someone who sucks up resources in return
• 20:11
  for nothing?
• 20:12
  SPEAKER_02: You call them a parasite.
• 20:14
  SPEAKER_03: And that is what the federal workforce has become.
• 20:17
  SPEAKER_03: These saboteurs, the dead-enders, the DEI undercover agents.
• 20:22
  The fraudsters,
• 20:23
  liars,
• 20:23
  cheaters,
• 20:24
  globalists,
• 20:25
  and deep-state bureaucrats are being sent back in.
• 20:29
  SPEAKER_03: Yeah!
• 20:31
  SPEAKER_03: you!
• 20:32
  SPEAKER_03: Guy who tests water for appropriate levels of fecal matter?
• 20:39
  SPEAKER_03: What are we talking about?
• 20:44
  SPEAKER_03: What?
• 20:46
  You know,
• 20:47
  this is a stark emotional whiplash from looking for efficiencies.
• 20:53
  But apparently our nation's civil service is now synonymous
• 20:55
  with waste,
• 20:56
  fraud,
• 20:56
  and abuse.
• 20:57
  SPEAKER_03: Doge is dishing out spankings like daddy daycare.
• 21:06
  SPEAKER_03: I don't remember the spanking scene from daddy daycare.
• 21:15
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, you must mean the gay porn film Daddy Daycare.
• 21:20
  SPEAKER_03: I get it, Jesse.
• 21:22
  SPEAKER_03: I get it.
• 21:24
  SPEAKER_03: You were watching the film that answers the question,
• 21:27
  SPEAKER_03: what would happen if a bunch of dudes f***ed in a daycare?
• 21:31
  SPEAKER_03: And it just stuck in your head.
• 21:37
  SPEAKER_03: You know...
• 21:39
  SPEAKER_03: I've got to tell you,
• 21:40
  I feel like you can make efficiency recommendations or cuts
• 21:42
  without necessarily
• 21:43
  SPEAKER_03: demonizing people who are only carrying out Congress's wishes.
• 21:47
  SPEAKER_03: But I feel like that.
• 21:49
  SPEAKER_03: They don't.
• 21:51
  Here's Donald Trump's new director of the offices of management
• 21:53
  and budget on his
• 21:54
  SPEAKER_03: feelings about everyone who works for him.
• 21:56
  SPEAKER_03: We want the bureaucrats to be traumatically affected.
• 22:00
  SPEAKER_03: When they wake up in the morning, we want them to not want to go to work.
• 22:04
  SPEAKER_03: Mission accomplished.
• 22:07
  SPEAKER_03: Because these workers are the worst.
• 22:11
  SPEAKER_03: A hive of scum and villainy.
• 22:14
  SPEAKER_03: Mostly scum and villainy.
• 22:16
  SPEAKER_03: Just not the workers you know.
• 22:18
  SPEAKER_03: Let me tell you a story about Chris.
• 22:19
  SPEAKER_03: He's gonna get doged.
• 22:20
  SPEAKER_03: And this guy's not a DEI consultant.
• 22:22
  SPEAKER_03: This guy's not a climate consultant.
• 22:25
  I finally found one person I knew that got doged,
• 22:27
  and it hit me in the heart.
• 22:28
  We just need to be a little bit less callous with the way,
• 22:32
  Harold,
• 22:32
  we talk about doging people.
• 22:41
  SPEAKER_03: Do you watch your show?
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: Yes,
• 22:46
  SPEAKER_03: you certainly want to be callous,
• 22:48
  like referring to someone losing their livelihood as being a
• 22:50
  child being spanked at daycare.
• 22:54
  SPEAKER_03: But I guess that's just the price of efficiency.
• 22:56
  Doge is dropping force guided bombs into the thermal exhaust
• 23:01
  port that is the Death
• 23:03
  SPEAKER_03: Star of our bureaucracy.
• 23:04
  SPEAKER_03: Doge is Jedi level shit, man.
• 23:07
  SPEAKER_01: The FDA is looking to rehire around 300 people.
• 23:10
  The Trump administration will reverse staffing cuts to the 9-11
• 23:14
  health fund.
• 23:14
  Hundreds of workers at the National Nuclear Security
• 23:17
  Administration fired,
• 23:19
  SPEAKER_02: then nearly all rehired days later.
• 23:21
  SPEAKER_01: The Veterans Affairs Department reinstated terminated employees,
• 23:24
  and the USDA is rescinding termination letters sent to people
• 23:28
  working on the
• 23:29
  SPEAKER_01: response to bird flu.
• 23:33
  SPEAKER_03: When I said you were criminal parasites,
• 23:35
  SPEAKER_03: I obviously wasn't referring to,
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_03: I have the bird flu,
• 23:38
  SPEAKER_03: come back to work.
• 23:41
  SPEAKER_03: Please.
• 23:42
  SPEAKER_03: Money shouldn't be this hard.
• 23:44
  I'm starting to think that we as a country don't understand
• 23:49
  where the real waste,
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_03: fraud,
• 23:51
  SPEAKER_03: and abuse in our system really is.
• 23:53
  Maybe the savings we gleaned from cutting VA nurses and iguana
• 23:58
  STD studies isn't
• 23:59
  SPEAKER_03: where the real money is.
• 24:00
  SPEAKER_03: So we're looking to save taxpayers some money.
• 24:02
  SPEAKER_03: And I know.
• 24:03
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, let me think.
• 24:04
  SPEAKER_03: I've got the studies that are done.
• 24:06
  SPEAKER_03: Oh!
• 24:07
  How about we just take $3 billion in subsidies we give to oil
• 24:11
  and gas companies
• 24:13
  SPEAKER_03: that already turned billions in profits?
• 24:15
  SPEAKER_03: How long did that take?
• 24:21
  SPEAKER_03: Oh, wait.
• 24:22
  How about we just close down the carried interest loophole on
• 24:24
  hedge funds?
• 24:25
  SPEAKER_03: That's $1.3 billion a year.
• 24:28
  SPEAKER_03: Oh,
• 24:29
  how about we stop the $2 trillion we've given to defense
• 24:33
  contractors to build a
• 24:34
  fighter jet that blows when everybody knows the next war is
• 24:38
  going to be fought with
• 24:39
  SPEAKER_03: drones and blockchain,
• 24:41
  SPEAKER_03: whatever that is.
• 24:44
  SPEAKER_03: Holy shit.
• 24:47
  SPEAKER_03: I can't believe it.
• 24:49
  SPEAKER_03: I just saved us billions of dollars in 11 seconds.
• 24:54
  SPEAKER_03: Just call me big balls.
• 25:03
  SPEAKER_03: I'm sorry, I'm being told that that nickname is already taken.
• 25:08
  SPEAKER_03: But see, this is where the real money is.
• 25:10
  SPEAKER_03: The real money,
• 25:11
  the money our free market-ish system uses to prop up corporate
• 25:16
  profit at the
• 25:17
  SPEAKER_03: expense of the taxpayer.
• 25:19
  SPEAKER_03: Pharmaceutical companies get everything from our government.
• 25:21
  SPEAKER_03: Tax breaks, research grants, patent extensions worth billions of dollars.
• 25:25
  SPEAKER_03: And what do we the people get for it?
• 25:27
  SPEAKER_03: The highest drug prices in the Western Hemisphere.
• 25:31
  SPEAKER_03: We live in the upside down.
• 25:33
  SPEAKER_03: And don't blame the corporations.
• 25:34
  SPEAKER_03: They are profit-seeking psychopaths.
• 25:37
  that need the lowest wages and the cheapest raw materials to
• 25:41
  drive their highest profits.
• 25:43
  SPEAKER_03: But why do we, the taxpayers, subsidize their psychopathy?
• 25:48
  SPEAKER_03: That's the waste, fraud, and abuse in our system.
• 25:53
  SPEAKER_03: That's it.
• 25:57
  SPEAKER_03: That's what we should be going after.
• 26:00
  SPEAKER_03: Not the fantastical, over-generous terrorist condom allowances.
• 26:06
  In another program,
• 26:07
  $50 million plus another $50 million for condoms for Hamas.
• 26:12
  SPEAKER_03: You know about that?
• 26:14
  SPEAKER_03: $100 million for condoms.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_03: Condoms.
• 26:16
  SPEAKER_03: Does everybody know what a condom is?
• 26:24
  SPEAKER_03: You're delivering this speech in an elementary school?
• 26:27
  SPEAKER_03: Why wouldn't...
• 26:28
  SPEAKER_03: Why wouldn't they know what condoms are?
• 26:30
  SPEAKER_03: Look, capitalism is by definition exploitative.
• 26:35
  SPEAKER_03: It's how it operates.
• 26:36
  SPEAKER_03: That's fine.
• 26:37
  But then government's role should be to ease the negative
• 26:40
  effects on Americans of
• 26:42
  SPEAKER_03: that exploitation,
• 26:44
  SPEAKER_03: not subsidize that treachery with our money.
• 26:48
  SPEAKER_03: We're getting at a ditty party and they're making us buy the baby oil.
• 27:06
  SPEAKER_03: I want doge to work.
• 27:08
  SPEAKER_03: I want better efficiencies.
• 27:09
  SPEAKER_03: I want to get rid of the alphabet agencies that don't do enough,
• 27:12
  SPEAKER_03: make the Pentagon pass an audit.
• 27:15
  But we are doging in the wrong place if we want to really
• 27:19
  change the system.
• 27:21
  SPEAKER_03: Companies like Walmart,
• 27:22
  SPEAKER_03: McDonald's make billions of dollars in taxpayer subsidized profits,
• 27:24
  yet many of their hardworking employees need taxpayer
• 27:27
  subsidized public assistance.
• 27:29
  Airlines get billions in bailouts that they use in stock
• 27:32
  buybacks and bonuses.
• 27:33
  But if you're on food assistance,
• 27:35
  you're not allowed to buy hot food with it.
• 27:38
  SPEAKER_03: Because apparently heated entrees are for winners.
• 27:42
  We are subsidizing the very system that makes workers' lives
• 27:46
  harder in the first place.
• 27:49
  SPEAKER_03: All in the name of freedom and liberty.
• 27:51
  But the greatest restriction of freedom in this country isn't
• 27:54
  DEI and pronoun pressure.
• 27:56
  SPEAKER_03: It's poverty and struggle.
• 28:09
  The government's role should be to end the corruption that
• 28:13
  enables that exploitation.
• 28:15
  SPEAKER_03: That's what the Democrats should be doing.