Latest / feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell / it's okay to not feel okay

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it's okay to not feel okay · feel your feelings with Ethan Jewell

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Yesterday I was having a really good day and then today I
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suddenly was hit with that same familiar feeling of just
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heaviness and not having any motivation to do anything and
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just frankly feeling depressed. And yet the week before that I
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was feeling amazing all the time, and the week before that I
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couldn't get out of bed all week.
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And frankly, it doesn't make sense.
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I thought that healing was supposed to be consistent.
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It was supposed to be a journey where I'm taking steps every
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single day towards a positive, better mental health.
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But that's not the case. Healing often doesn't make
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sense. And you'll feel OK one day and
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then totally not feel OK the other day.
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And that is OK. You're not broken, you're just
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learning. You're learning what hurts you,
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what triggers you. You're learning how to be OK.
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My name is Ethan Jewell and welcome back to Feel Your
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Feelings. I know that you know exactly
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what feeling I'm talking about. How one day you wake up feeling
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motivated and light, hopeful, and then literally the next day
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it just all hits you like a wave and you don't want to get out of
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bed and you're suddenly anxious and numb and just sad for what
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feels like no reason. You find yourself wondering
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what's wrong with me? Why am I not able to just be OK?
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Why is it so inconsistent? And it, it's frustrating to feel
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this way, but that's what it's like to be human.
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That's what it's like to want to better yourself and to heal.
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So if you felt this way, you are in the exact right spot because
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I have felt this way and I know exactly what it feels like.
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I still feel this way. And we need to accept the fact
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that this is a normal part of healing.
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I want to remind you, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a psychologist,
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I'm not a professional in the mental health industry
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whatsoever. But sometimes that's exactly who
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you need to hear it from. Someone who's been there, who's
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felt what you've felt and is slowly healing alongside you.
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So let's talk about it. We have this idea, probably
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thanks to social media and movies and unrealistic self help
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books and motivational speakers, that healing looks like a
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straight upward line, like we're constantly climbing out of our
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darkness and into the light. You know, day by day we get a
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little bit better, a little bit stronger, and we keep just
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becoming a better version of ourselves.
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But in reality, healing, mental health, emotions, all of it it,
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it almost never moves in straight lines.
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It moves in loops and spirals and zigzags.
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It's more like a roller coaster than a staircase.
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And if you zoom in too close, if you judge yourself based on
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today's dip, you're going to miss the bigger picture.
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That's the problem with thinking on this.
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Well, yesterday I felt fine. Or last week I felt fine and now
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I don't. What's wrong with me?
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You're not back to square 1. Just because you're having a bad
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day emotionally, mentally, that doesn't mean you've gone
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backwards. It just means you're a person
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with a nervous system, a person with feelings, a person who's
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trying to get better. Imagine your healing like you're
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recovering from a physical injury.
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Let's say you sprained your ankle.
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One day you might feel good enough to walk a little bit.
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The next day, maybe you push too hard and now it's sore again.
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That doesn't mean that healing didn't happen.
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It just means the process isn't finished yet.
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Mental health is no different. So if we judge day by day, if we
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zoom in too much and we judge our mental health based on how
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we feel today versus how we felt when we were seemingly, quote,
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getting better, we will have a harsh and unrealistic view of
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how we are feeling. When we compare the absolute
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high of the week or the absolute high of the month, the best that
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we've felt to how we feel now, we feel like we've not made any
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progress. We feel like we've gone
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completely backwards, but that's not the case.
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Just because you feel bad today doesn't mean that you haven't
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learned things about yourself. This is how healing works.
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It's up and then it's right back down.
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But all of that is just as important.
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Part of understanding that up and down is understanding the
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role of triggers and cycles. Some days your environment or
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your subconscious might trigger something within you without you
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even realizing it, and it might cause you to spiral.
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Or it might cause you to have a bad day or a bad week or a bad
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month. It could be the anniversary of
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something painful, even if you're not consciously thinking
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about it. It could be that your body's
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tired. Maybe you just didn't sleep
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well. Maybe you scrolled through
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something online that quietly chipped away at your confidence
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and made you feel bad. We, we carry so much inside.
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We are such complex beings, memories, traumas, stress, even
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generational patterns, that not every emotional wave is going to
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come with a neat little explanation.
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As you try to heal your mental health, you're going to have ups
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and downs. You're going to have good days
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and you're going to have bad days.
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And it's all about being OK with that.
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It's about being OK with not being OK when you were OK last
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week. I know it's a jumble of words to
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say, but that's the reality. You don't need to explain every
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feeling to validate it. You just need to allow it.
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So next time you catch yourself struggling again, next time you
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catch yourself having an off day after having a really good week,
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don't beat yourself up. Don't try to reach for an
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explanation. Don't sit there going ah, what
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is wrong with me? Instead, just validate that
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feeling. Allow it to exist.
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You don't need to explain it away, You just need to feel it.
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That's it. And it's OK.
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It's normal and it's a part of healing.
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I've been there. I've had days where I'm on top
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of the world and I'm writing and I'm creating and connecting with
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people. I'm thinking, yes, this is it,
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I've I've figured it out. I'm finally better.
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And then the next morning hits and suddenly I feel empty again.
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Like everything I accomplished the day before doesn't count
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anymore. But the truth is, both versions
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of me are real, and both versions of me are allowed to
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coexist. The happy, inspired Ethan and
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the quiet, heavy depressed Ethan.
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They're not opposites, they're just parts of a whole. 1 doesn't
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cancel out the other just because you have an off day.
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Just because you feel sad one day doesn't mean that you
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suddenly aren't capable of healing, or you aren't capable
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of feeling good. That bad doesn't cancel out the
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good that you've been working towards.
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And you are allowed to be inconsistent.
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Let me say that again, you are allowed to be inconsistent.
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We live in a world that worships consistency, daily routines and
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perfect habits, productivity. The age of social media has has
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encouraged the grind set so much.
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It's encouraged. These perfect morning routines
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and those things, they can be helpful for sure.
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But if you're measuring your worth based on how steady you
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are, you're always going to feel like you're falling.
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Being human is not being steady. We move in waves.
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Think of the moon, it has phases.
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The seasons, they change. Trees lose their leaves for a
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while while blooming again. Nothing in nature is on all the
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time. Why should you be?
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Don't hold yourself to such an impossible standard of always
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being OK. Don't hold yourself to such an
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impossible standard of always getting better and better and
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better than you were the day before.
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You're going to have off days with your mental health.
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You're going to have days and weeks, even months, maybe years
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where you feel worse than you have.
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But that doesn't mean that you're not growing, and it
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doesn't mean that you're not healing.
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It's all a part of the process, no matter how painful and
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frustrating it may be. So what do we do on those off
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days? First, I encourage you to zoom
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out. Remind yourself that these off
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days are a part of a bigger story, and you're not defined by
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how you feel today. Just like one cloudy day doesn't
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cancel out summer, this low moment doesn't erase your
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progress. Then maybe lower the bar for
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yourself a little bit. You're allowed to do that.
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You don't have to fix your life today.
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You don't have to force out joy. Maybe the wind today is just
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brushing your teeth and drinking some water and saying I'm not OK
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out loud. That's still progress.
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That's still being aware of your feelings.
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That's still healing. And don't shame yourself for
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feeling bad. It sounds simple, but this one
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is really important. If you can meet your hard day
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with curiosity instead of judgement, everything changes.
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Instead of what's wrong with me, try.
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Hey, what do I need right now? What can I do for myself?
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What can I do to help myself in this low moment?
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It's OK to feel bad. Be there for yourself the same
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way that you would be there for a friend.
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And finally, remember that it passes.
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You've felt joy before, peace and contentment, even if just
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for a second or a day. That means you can feel those
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things again. Emotions are visitors.
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They show up, stay a while and leave.
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You don't have to build a house for them.
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You just have to be OK with them coming by.
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You just have to feel them, validate them.
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You don't owe them anything. You can coexist with these
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emotions as they come and they go.
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I just want to remind you that you're not alone in this
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feeling. I think it's a really isolating
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feeling to be wondering why you feel bad one day and good the
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next. It's confusing and it's
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isolating, but you're not the only one.
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Most people are quietly riding these emotional roller coasters.
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Most just don't talk about it. But here on this podcast, we
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talk about it and we feel our feelings.
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Because you deserve to feel seen, even in your messiest
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moment. So if today is a down day or if
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tomorrow turns into one, just know you're not starting over.
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You're not broken, you're not weak, you're just a feeling
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human being and you're navigating life and it's
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unpredictable and it's messy and it's emotional and that's OK.
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You're doing better than you think.
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You don't have to have it all figured out in this moment.
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It will pass. It's OK to not be OK.
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That's going to wrap it up for today's episode.
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Thank you so much for being here.
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If you need help feeling your feelings, you should check out
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my music on all platforms under the name of Ethan Jewell.
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I almost guarantee it'll make you cry.
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Also, drop me a comment. Let me know what you thought
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about today's episode. I'd love to hear your thoughts
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about this up and down this emotional roller coaster that
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all of us go through. So thank you so much for being
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here. Thank you for understanding that
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it's OK to feel great one day and not so much the next.
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And as always, thank you for feeling your feelings.
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I'll see you next time.