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Stop Just Saving Start Living | How to Enjoy Retirement · Retire and Thrive

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What advice do you have for our listeners when it comes to maybe
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putting those finances aside and all the for a moment to think
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about today and really what matters to the person?
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What I have found is that when people do retire, what often
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happens is they get to that age and they don't know how to enjoy
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it. The number one thing that we
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always do is do everything in our power to build in every
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scenario that we possibly can think of to prevent you from
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running out of money. Welcome back to another edition
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of the Retire and Thrive podcast, where we help you live
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your life with purpose, wealth, and confidence.
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I'm Tammy alongside Dan and we are so thankful that you're
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joining us wherever you're streaming this podcast.
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This is actually episode 22 already.
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It's flew by. That's a lot.
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It's. Hard to believe we've done this
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21 times. Today will be 20. 222 So we are
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excited for that and for anyone that's joined us and we've
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actually heard from people out in the community who have
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thanked us for doing this. They say they like watching or
0:56
listening, however they get their podcast, so we definitely
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appreciate that. And if you want to pass along
1:01
this podcast to your friends, it's definitely a beneficial
1:04
podcast for anyone interested in bettering their future with
1:09
finances and doing things the right way, or at least thinking
1:14
about doing things a certain way.
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So thanks so much for joining us.
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Dan, how are you? Everything's good.
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You ask me every time how I am and I feel like I don't
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research. Doing well, I'm always.
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You always are upbeat. You're always.
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I'm always having a great time, Dan.
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I definitely am. Today we are talking about
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having a bigger future and in order to have a bigger future, I
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must make today matter. So we're focusing on the present
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and how we can enjoy the present, but also maybe pick
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ahead at what the future holds. And this is actually the last
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lesson in the book of retire and thrive.
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And so we've got just a couple of episodes, maybe two or three
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episodes. We'll talk specifically about
1:54
this chapter or this lesson. And yeah, to have a bigger
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future, make today matter. So why did you choose to end the
2:01
book with this lesson? When I put the book together,
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Cammy, I think it was really, how do I take all of this
2:10
complexity? You make these comments of how I
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know all this stuff, and so you do.
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A lot of it is just lessons I've learned vicariously through
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clients of ours. And sometimes they've been
2:19
mistakes and we try to do things the correct way.
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But most of the book was how do I write a book in a very concise
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manner that people can read and take away from it and say, oh, I
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should look at things through a different lens?
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Or maybe I should have a talk with my accountant or maybe I
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should talk with my advisor about a couple of other things.
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So this lesson being the last lesson is we talk about all of
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these different things from cash flow to Social Security to taxes
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to all of this. And I tried to do it, as you
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know, a story format in the book.
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But this lesson is really about taking all of that stuff, all
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the finances and all the complexities and just parking
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that for a minute and saying, what do I really want out of
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life? What really is my purpose?
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And what is how do I make today matter?
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I mean, what is it that I've worked all these years for and
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I've done all the right things financially?
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Now the last chapter in the book is how do I make today matter?
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Yeah. And for some, it's really hard
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to put the finances aside and stop thinking about it because
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there are so many. You touched on all the different
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topics that we've discussed and there's so much there.
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So what advice do you have for our listeners when it comes to
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maybe putting those finances aside and all the planning aside
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for a moment to think about today and really what matters to
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the person? Yeah, I don't, I don't want to
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go too heavy here, but you know, I'm kind of approaching that
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stage too. You know, I'm in my late 50s.
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And so I think and I reflect back in my life and again, as I
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mentioned, a little bit precariously through clients
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lives, but I think about life, you know, at all these different
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stages. So like for me, you know, you're
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going to school and then you graduate from high school and
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then I happen to go off to college.
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Some people go to college, some people go right into the
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workforce. But eventually we get into the
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workforce in our in our 20s typically.
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And then we have a little bit of financial freedom because we're
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getting a nice paycheck that we're not used to.
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And so then we enjoy some of that.
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And then a lot of us, you know, find spouses, we get married and
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we have kids, and then things are kind of strained because we
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just don't have the resources. And so then it's all about the
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kids and putting them through, you know, basketball camps and
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programs and clothes and prom dresses and it just goes on and
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on and on and on. And then they get to a certain
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age and you want to help them with college.
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And then all sudden you get, it doesn't work this way for
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everybody. But then it gets to a certain
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age where you're like in your 50s and also the kids are gone.
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It's like, oh, finally, I've got a little bit of extra money.
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And So what do we do? We save, save, save.
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We're going to Max out of four O 1K because we're used to not
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having a lot of money. And so ever since, you know, you
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know, I think about my lives and, and I told you the story
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about how it wasn't always a financial easy thing for me in
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my 20s. And I told you the Tupperware
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story, Tupperware story and the budgets and, and being frugal.
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And those are all true. It's just, you know, when you're
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younger, you don't have the resources.
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My point is this, you know, once, once I started having
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kids, there was never a lot of excess money hanging around at
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the house. And once the kids were gone,
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then it was time to kind of let's really hone in on the
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investments, let's contribute so that I do have a nice retirement
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and I'm not retired. But what I have found is that
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when people do retire, what often happens is they get to
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that age and they don't know how to enjoy it.
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They don't know how to spend it because they've never been in
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that situation. And I think of like my parents
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who are both gone, but they were born in the 1920s.
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And so I refer to them as the Bob Hope generation, people that
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were born in the in the 20s, maybe they went through the
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Great Depression. My dad was born in 1927.
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So during the Great Depression of 29 and 30, you know, he was,
6:06
he was a toddler. And my mom was actually born in
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1929. But if you look at people like
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that, even if they weren't aware of the Great Depression era,
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their parents were. And so they lived a life of
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extreme frugality. And then the next generation,
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which would be me, we were kind of instilled the same thing, you
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know, don't waste money, but not maybe to the extent of like, my
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mother would put aluminum foil in a dishwasher and reuse it.
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I mean, that was just what she did, You know, my point is this,
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often times when people save and save and save their entire life
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and then they retire, they don't know, I hate to say how to spend
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the money, but they don't know really how to live because they,
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they're so accustomed to saving, saving, saving.
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And often times people say, well, what happens if I need all
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the money? And generally speaking, I say,
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well, at 65, you're not going to need it all in one year.
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We're projecting that, you know, this money is going to be around
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for 2025, thirty years until you're 90 or so.
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So I think, I think that's part of this lesson is having the
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ability to step back and say this is the stage you've
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literally worked your entire life for.
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And again, not to go to too candid here, but it's like we've
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got a window once you retire to enjoy it and that window
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continues to close based on health and vitality.
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So from that I have two questions for you.
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First, does it work to put aluminum foil in the dishwasher
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and reuse it? Did it work?
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It did work wow it it turned a little tinge of brown.
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Though I will say I don't know if it's the heat to.
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Say sometimes it gets hot in the dishwasher, but OK, that's
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interesting. I'll have to try that too.
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You work with a lot of clients and I'm sure there's many people
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who have kids, grandkids and they are looking at their
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financial, financial future into retirement and they probably
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want to assist their family as much as they can.
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And I'm sure there's some people who that's all they're focused
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on. And maybe it shouldn't be all
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that they're focused on because they've done this all for
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themselves. And for some I'm sure it is and
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that's fine. But do you help people navigate,
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OK, let's have this for the family if need be.
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And then we need to have some that you can enjoy because I
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know there's things that, you know, if it's a man and wife
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that they want to do. Right.
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I think it's all about choices. It's all about what is your
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desire? Is it to leave money to kids and
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grandkids? Is it to take some of this hard
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earned money and have experiences taking them on trips
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and vacations and so forth. And so when we build out these
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plans, we actually factor some of that in.
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And we've seen all different kinds where it might be.
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I'm taking my my three sons in their 30s and you know, we're
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going to do a golf trip. Maybe we go to Florida or it, it
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could very well be I'm taking the grandkids and everybody and
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we're going to go down to Florida and we're going to go
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down to Disney or whatever it might be.
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But we do build some of those things out in a plan.
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But what I found is that as people age, often times it's not
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the physical things that matter to them anymore.
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It's the experiences. And you know, we often say to
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them, you know, we're not in the business of telling you to give
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away money. We're in the business of what is
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what is going to give you happiness.
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You know, when you're 80 years old and you're in that rocking
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chair, looking back, is it that your bank account or your
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investment portfolio grew to this level?
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Or is it some of the memories that happened, you know, when
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you were in your 60s and you brought kids and grandkids?
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Yeah, and it's nice to throw that out there for some people
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because they might not even consider it really.
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It might just be, oh, I, I, I can give, you know, a $500 check
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at Christmas. Or perhaps you could put that
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towards Disneyland with the kids and enjoy the experience
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experience with them. You mentioned in the book on
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Sarah story. Maybe there's some folks that
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haven't read the book watching or listening.
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Can you reiterate briefly about that story and why was that
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something that you wanted to mention in the book and what can
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listeners learn from it? Yeah.
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And I think there's two things with that.
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One was kind of an emotional where she wasn't really mentally
10:04
prepared for retirement. And then also we did tie in a
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little bit of a financial lesson there with inflation because she
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had a pension and the pension was fixed.
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And when she retired, it was it was a nice pension, but as the
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cost of goods continued to go up.
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But I think for today, it's more about that emotional shift that
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it's OK to splurge on yourself, It's OK to enjoy.
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In the book, the story without Sarah, I mean, she wasn't
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married, didn't have kids, but it was important for her not to
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run out of money. And so it was really difficult
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for her to spend money and take trips and do the things that she
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really wanted to. And you know, we always tell our
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clients when we sit down with them and we're building out
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these financial plans, the number one thing that we always
10:49
do is do everything in our power to build in every scenario that
10:52
we possibly can think of to prevent you from running out of
10:55
money. We can't control spending.
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We can't control inflation. We can't control returns, but we
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try to build in as many scenarios as possible.
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So our number one goal is to do everything we can for clients
11:05
not to run out of money. But then Cammy, our number two
11:09
goal right behind that is to encourage them to do the things
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they want to do while they're still healthy enough to do
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those. And that's, that's painful for
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me at times to see people that have saved and maybe their
11:23
health deteriorates at A at an earlier age than they
11:26
anticipated and they can't take those trips or they can't do the
11:29
things that they wanted to do. And again, it's a little bit of
11:32
a balancing act too, of we don't want to spend too much so that
11:36
someday we run out of money. Because, you know, I don't want
11:40
to mix up chapters here, but in Chapter 6 last week when we were
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talking about, you know, taxes, and I said that's just a big
11:48
uncertainty of future tax rates. And that's why I'm so big on the
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Roths. But when we build out financial
11:54
plans, one of the biggest uncertainties isn't just future
11:57
tax rates, but the biggest is life expectancy.
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And so if people live into their 80s and 90s versus people that,
12:05
you know, have an untimely death that they're in their 70s, it
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does make a big difference. So that's why we kind of tend to
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embrace it and say enjoy it while you can.
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And back to on Sarah's story, everyone loves to hear, oh, it's
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OK to splurge on yourself. But bringing that into my next
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question, on a practical level, what does it mean to make today
12:27
matter? I think it's for me, Cammy, it's
12:33
about being intentional. When I say make today matter, it
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means pick up that phone call someone maybe you haven't talked
12:41
to in six months, whether it's a relative or whether you know, a
12:44
niece or a nephew or an aunt or an uncle or doing maybe
12:49
something that you didn't have time to do before you retired.
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And, and I know we kind of joke, you know, us working people
12:55
about taking up wood carving or candle making or whatever it is,
12:58
but people find that's a good outlet.
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And I've, I've witnessed that again through through the lens
13:03
of other people that have retired.
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But it's not just, you know, just coasting and just kind of
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spinning your wheels and say, I'll get up when I want to get
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up and I will watch what I want, when I want, how I want.
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We find that often times when people are intentional about
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what their day looks like, they tend to be happier in
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retirement. And I think there's a book by
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Simon Sinek and and it's basically know your why, Like,
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what is your purpose? Like, why are you here on this
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earth? What is it that you want to
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accomplishment and why? You know, it's kind of like when
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we talk to people, they might say, you know, we want to spend
13:41
$15,000 a year to go traveling. And often I come back and I say,
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why is that important to you? They might say, well, we've
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never seen Alaska or we've never been to Europe or, you know,
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there might be different reasons.
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But if it's just, well, that's what my friends are doing, I
13:55
usually say wrong answer. So I think know your why is is
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kind of a big thing for people. Yeah, that's.
14:01
Some good life advice for everyone.
14:03
Do you do anything on the side? Any side hobbies?
14:05
I mean, we golf, but that doesn't count.
14:07
Golf and I snow ski. And snow skiing, yeah, that's
14:10
good. That's really relaxing.
14:11
That's very. Relaxing, yeah.
14:13
Yeah, I paint sometimes on the side.
14:15
You're talking creative. I'm talking anything to make
14:19
your life feel. I don't know, it's when I I
14:21
barely paint, but when I do it's wild how much it just, I don't
14:25
know. It feels good and it relaxes you
14:27
and it's something fun to do on the side.
14:29
I would be embarrassed if I tried to paint.
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You can't. Be see, that's the thing.
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Anything you create is beautiful as long as you're having a good
14:36
time and you're feeling good about.
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It I suppose it would relax you. Yeah, it is relaxing.
14:41
It might not to put you on the spot, but it might be fun to
14:44
bring in a painting next episode.
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I could, I don't. I've painted my nephews, so I
14:50
paint them when they're like younger and then I give them to
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them and my my sister keeps having children, so I keep
14:56
having to paint these children and my brother in law's like,
14:58
well, Weston's old enough for you to bring him a painting, so
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I'm working on that right now. Yeah, get to it eventually, but.
15:04
No, I think that's intentional. I mean, like you said, I think
15:06
for you I'm you're in a high stress job and you're constantly
15:09
on the go and that's an outlet for you.
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And I will say artistically, I'm very, very poor at things like
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that. I don't paint, I don't play
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music, I don't sing other than the shower.
15:20
Of course everybody sings in the shower.
15:21
But. But yeah, I, I, I would say that
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find your why and what that looks like.
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I've helped lots of clients go through kind of a process of
15:34
finding their purpose in retirement.
15:36
And we actually just kind of go through it.
15:37
And at the end of the day, what we're really ending up with this
15:40
kind of a bucket list. Yeah.
15:42
And you've got a window to do that bucket list.
15:44
And I think what we have found is that when we encourage people
15:47
to do that, a lot of times it doesn't even involve money.
15:49
It could be hiking or it could be taken certain adventures, or
15:53
it may be traveling to see, you know, that great aunt you
15:56
haven't seen in 10. It could be any number of
15:58
things. But one of the feedback that
16:01
some of the feedback that we've gotten is that when we kind of
16:03
walk through these exercises and come up with these lists and
16:06
then we put timelines on each of them, whether it's a five year
16:09
timeline or whether it's a one month timeline or anywhere in
16:11
between. People have commented back to me
16:15
that says, you know, it was almost like I needed permission
16:17
to do that. And again, it goes back to kind
16:19
of the whole purpose that I feel of life, and that is life is
16:22
meant to be lived because we just don't know.
16:24
Yeah. Yeah.
16:25
One final question for you on this topic.
16:27
You deal with a lot of folks who are looking at their finances,
16:30
looking ahead to the future, trying to find their why and
16:34
their purpose. And it might be very stressful.
16:37
So for anyone listening, this could apply, I'm sure.
16:40
But what advice do you have for folks who maybe are losing sleep
16:43
at night over their finances, whether it be early on or
16:46
whether it be in this stage where they're trying to figure
16:48
out where they want to spend their money and it becomes an
16:51
extremely stressful time for them?
16:53
How do you deal with that? What advice do you have?
16:56
Yeah. So if you're asking specifically
16:58
if someone's stressed out about if they're retired or not
17:01
retired. Either or, either or, either or.
17:03
You deal with retired folks all the time, but maybe let's go
17:06
with that. They're at that stage where
17:08
they're trying to find where they should spend their money.
17:10
And then beyond taxes, beyond all of that, they have the
17:13
money. They want to spend it here or
17:14
there, but it's stressing them out.
17:16
Yeah. I think the first advice I would
17:19
give is that like in our, in our space, in the financial advising
17:22
world, technology has been such a massive game changer, Cammy.
17:28
We can create so many different scenarios, whether it's assuming
17:32
different tax brackets, assuming different spend rates, assuming
17:37
different rates of return, assuming different life
17:40
expectancy. We can build in all these
17:41
different scenarios and I feel like if somebody's really
17:46
stressing out over their money, they need to go get help.
17:50
Just like if I'm stressing out over some issue, I'm going to go
17:54
get some professional advice, whether it's a counselor or
17:57
whoever it might be. And it doesn't hurt to get a
18:00
couple pieces of advice because you know, in our world, in the
18:03
financial advising world, you can talk to three different
18:06
people and you might get 3 vastly different opinions about
18:09
what to do. And all three of them aren't
18:12
right or wrong, they're just their view.
18:15
And my opinion is get different opinions, get someone who has
18:20
access to the some of the software and technology.
18:23
And at the end of the day, when the dust all settles and you've
18:25
met with two or three different people about, you know, this is
18:27
really bothering me. 9 times out of 10 I have found that if I go
18:32
with my instinct, it's usually right.
18:34
But don't harness this stuff on your own is what I'm trying to
18:36
tell you. It's no different.
18:37
Again, on a personal level, if I'm struggling with an issue,
18:41
I'm either going to vent to a friend or you know, maybe I do
18:44
need to go see professional guidance for that.
18:46
Yeah, and some of the software is so incredible and the
18:48
accuracy of it and the different things that you can calculate,
18:51
I'm sure for you over the years it's just been a game changer
18:55
when it comes to helping clients.
18:57
And for me, again, in Full disclosure, you know, we've got
19:00
a lot of young advisors at our firm and they run circles around
19:03
me and I'm OK with that. That's like it's good to.
19:06
Have them there to help you along the way and show you
19:08
different things. But yeah, you're, you're exactly
19:10
right. And they're continuously
19:11
updating the software, whether it's, you know, with, with the,
19:15
the recent tax bill, you know, that was, was set to sunset,
19:19
they got changed. I mean, our tax software
19:21
literally within 24 hours said we've already made all of the
19:24
adjustments to account for it. So then we could rerun all the
19:27
scenarios that we had built in anticipating tax rates, we're
19:30
going to go higher prior to the bill passing.
19:33
But yeah, it's just it's absolutely incredible that the
19:35
software that we have access to today and it's continuously
19:38
getting better and better. And you know, it's the same
19:41
thing like in the medical world, just the medical advances.
19:43
And I can't remember all the statistics, but it's like
19:45
there's been more advancement in the medical, in the medical
19:48
world, in medical technology in the last five years than the
19:50
previous 50 years. It's kind of same in our world.
19:53
It's just like all of the all of the technology that's come
19:56
together. And of course, now we've got AI
19:58
that can incorporate a lot of this also, but.
20:01
Yeah, that's it. It, it definitely has been a
20:03
game changer for a lot of our clients and a lot of other
20:07
advisors in our space to create different scenarios that again,
20:11
back to your original question, just go ask just there.
20:14
There's a lot of firms out there that you can visit with and say,
20:17
I'm just struggling with this area, whether it's taxes or
20:20
whether it's cash flow or whether it's concerns of
20:23
inflation or we often, you know, people say to us, what happens
20:26
if I go into a nursing home? What does that look like?
20:28
And so, yeah, I would say just be intentional and get up and
20:31
and knock on a few doors and interview.
20:33
Sure, great answer to have a bigger future, make today matter
20:38
and you can do that by utilizing software and technology.
20:41
Let it be your friend, not your enemy.
20:43
Anything more that you'd like to add?
20:44
Dan I? Think that's all for for this
20:47
episode. I know we've got two more
20:48
episodes. We're going to plan for this
20:50
last, last lesson. So we'll, we'll see you back
20:54
here next week next. Week, yes.
20:56
Thanks again for joining us. Please pass along this
20:58
information to any of your loved ones, anyone heading into
21:02
retirement or have them stop by. Listen to our podcast wherever
21:05
you get your podcasts. Have a great day.
21:07
We'll see you next week. Fortress Financial Group, LLC is
21:10
a registered investment advisor. Advisory services are only
21:13
offered to clients or prospective clients where
21:15
Fortress and its representatives are properly licensed or exempt
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21:20
material are for general information only and are not
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21:25
any individual. All indexes are unmanaged and
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21:29
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