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Hot and Wild with Billy The Kidd and Bears | The Treehouse Podcast · The Treehouse Show Podcast

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It is time to believe your warriors outside and join me. Dan ol' mallley,
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Trey Trendholme, Raz Sharma, and today's special guest inside the Treehouse from
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the New Old Mixed one O two nine, Billy the Kid from the Billy
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the Kid in the Morning Show, it was now flipping me off. No,
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I was saying number one, number one, And you're right, Billy,
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there are more than one. There's more than one finger you can use
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to tell someone you're number one. That's true, that is true. Speaking
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of which, are you number one yet? I don't think yet, but
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I'm trying my best. Does that count in horseshoes, hand grenades and morning
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radio? Sometimes? Yes, that's true. Yeah, No, things are
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good. Things are a lot better. So thank god, you know things
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are good. Actually, I'm pretty happy with the way things are going.
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Is it the new old? Is it the new old new old new mix?
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This is the old new new old new. I feel like I feel
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like we're just a couple of olds in the news and an av select away
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from an old Nintendo code. Nothing's worse though than Dan. You would appreciate
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this. In Tray he knows and even Raj back in the day. You
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know this too when I was on a station called Hot one hundred when they
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decided to change the name so many damn different times that at one point the
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moniker for that station was triple the music. The new Hot one hundred always
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at least eighteen songs to row your new music station, and remember it shows
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over. Yeah, it is imprinted not only in your brain, right here
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in your heart. It's scarred. That's what that is. Its card tissue
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came up with that. That's the that's the strange part. And so it
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was like, so, who's got ideas for what we should call it?
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Well, you say it every time. I'm like, it's only a four
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hour show, what do we do? And it was a pop station,
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uh, with a lean towards rhythmic, so it's not like you had a
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whole lot of intro time to be able to say all that stuff before hitting
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the post of a song. Yeah, And they were like, well,
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and have good content too, so figure it out, but don't stop the
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music. And I believe at one point you had one of the general managers
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calling you up on the hotline because you were doing like a throng Thursday or
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something, and their wife didn't like it. Oh, no, hated it.
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No, I was doing it joke. I did five dirty like a
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dirty word. Oh, five words, it'll turn any woman on. And
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then I'd have the girls call in and I'd say the words, and I
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leave him out on the air well. He called and he's like, well,
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my wife wants to know. And I'm like, I can't tell your
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wife. I can't know. There's no way I can't tell your wife.
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He's like, well, then i'll just see you tomorrow morning. I was
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like, I'm not telling you then, and he pissed and he was like,
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oh, you know what, hang up. But that's you know,
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you know how it was back in those days. It was a different world.
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And it's weird because that's that's that's sort of a you know, private
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parts Howard sternmo movie type of moment for you. It's like, your content
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was compelling enough that the station manager's wife wanted to know what you were saying,
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yeah, yeah, and then I wouldn't tell her yeah, and and
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you wouldn't tell them, therefore prolonging the bit for the listener. But the
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station manager at the time couldn't appreciate it for what it was and instead was
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more concerned about what he was going to have to tell his wife when he
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couldn't keep his afternoon jock in line because his uh, his his rebel in
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the afternoon wouldn't tell him the secrets. Well, it was his widow ego.
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It hurt his widow ego. You know that he that he wanted me
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to tell him. And by the way, the stupid thing was, it
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was a dumb bit that I used to do. There was no five words,
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so I'd get on the air and I'd say, all right, react
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like I said something really dirty and perverted, and the girls would go,
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oh my god, and I'd bleep it out. Some people were like,
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what is he saying? But it was a stupid like nineteen nineties you know
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radio bit they used to do. It's like whatever, Yeah, at that
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point, it's a throwaway bit for you, but you know what works,
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so you do it. And it worked so well that it ensnared the GM's
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wife. Oh and I put him on the air. That's what he was
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pissed about. Left that part out that particular of all the he ranks as
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one of the dumbest people I ever worked for. Will I need to stop
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you both right here, because I'm gonna need you both to be more specific,
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because Trey, when you say he was the dumbest general manager I've worked
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for, I mean I've got like three or four in my head swirling around.
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It all blurs together. Oh okay, Yeah. You know what's funny
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is I never really talked to him that much. The only time I had
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a really awkward interaction with that particular GM is RPD at the time. Rest
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in peace to Dan Kylie, who I really liked. He was a smart
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guy. He had his own addiction problems, he had some he had some
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issues. Fell asleep during my contract negotiations. That's because that's because well wait
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a second, Billy, when he fell asleep, were you in his office
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in front of him? In front just to paint a picture of you of
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what Dan looked like? He not me, No, Dan, he kind
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of looked like a I don't skinny Jerry Garcia that had stuck his finger in
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a light socket. Wow. Okay, what a visual what a visual spot
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on that's sery part. Yeah, we were talking of it a series conversation.
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I'm like, you know, I think we could get there. We're
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you know, we're close to where we need to be, and I looked
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up and he's just like and I was like, this has gotta be a
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joke. This has got like this is not real life. And I look
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around. I'm like, what do you do? You just get up and
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pretend it didn't happen, or do you go, hey, excuse me,
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because at that point the contract negotiation is over. Yeah, no it's not.
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That's what that's when. That's when the negotiation ramps up. That's when
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you write down uh seven fifty per year plus endorsements and appearances. You initial
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and then you take his arm, put that, put the pen in the
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hand, and just kind of weekend exactly. You weakened and bernies his hand
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and next thing, you know, you got a huge ass contract. I
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should have. But I remember walking out and I go, you know,
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I'm just gonna I'll come back later. Kind of made a joke about it,
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and Sea Bird, I think, what's his name, Dave? Dave?
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Yeah, okay. He walked by and goes, hey, how's it
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going? And I go, you tell me and you at the BD and
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he goes, oh god, and he just walked away and I go,
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all right, see you later. I don't know what's going on. It
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is pretty cool, though, to have a to have a contract in radio
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that was signed by your boss, not an ink, but you know with
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drool, yeah, droolue. And I was like, just let me.
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I couldn't even find the contract. I don't even think he had it,
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like I think it was supposed to be. You know, in radio,
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you're supposed to go back and forth on a term sheet, like a negotiation
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sheet, and most businesses do this, and well radio used to. I
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don't know if they still do really, but I never saw a term sheet.
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It was usually some emails back and forth, some awkward face to face
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meetings. Well, because they don't tell the talent usually that there is a
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term sheet, you know that they so they report to corporate. Well,
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I offered him this, and then you know, he said this, and
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I said this, so they can track what you did back and forth.
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Because I had a boss one time. Tell me John Cook, who you
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guys remember? He's another one? God does everyone around us. I think
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it's time for some for some self reflection. I was totally stupid. That
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won't save you. Yeah, yeah, we might not get off this pad
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podcast alive on his hands but I had him one time. He was telling
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me like, I guess I didn't know what I was doing when I was
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negotiating, and I'm like, well, just how about this? And it
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was he was a good guy. So he literally was like, hey,
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you know you might want to go up and I got He goes, yeah,
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ask for more because I'm going to write it down here and showed me
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the sheet and I go. He goes, then I'm gonna say no,
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and then I'm gonna get you here and I go, are we doing this?
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Okay? Sure? And he's you're asking for way too little and I
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was like, oh, I didn't know that. Okay, cool, I
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want more? So I got more of a great Yeah, somebody would do
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that. Yeah. Type radio manager is to say it's rare is a massive
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understatement. Yeah, it's like the I don't know if you guys ever watched
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PONND Stars, but there's sometimes every now and again there's a moment where the
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guy's like, somebody bring something in, like, so, what do you
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want for it? And he's like, just ten, Granny, it's probably
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worth about one hundred, so let's start there. And I'm like, oh
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man, okay, so you had that moment. Yeah, I had that
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moment, and normally that doesn't exist. They'll just take you for whatever you're
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gonna get. Oh, this idiot here, because that's happened in many contracts.
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When I was first starting off, I was like, I mean,
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I'll work for some a drink tab. Cool. I'm like, oh wait,
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I should get paid for this, Okay, cool. Yeah, that's
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why there's no Indians in radio, because we are taking that deal. Yeah
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no, and you're not wrong. I mean I look like when I was
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starting out, like at the time when you and I met, I think
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I was making like like ten bucks an hour, and part of part of
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my agreement wasn't a contract. It was just all right, you're gonna make
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ten bucks an hour and you can have all the breakroom pizza you can eat.
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Yeah. Yeah, oh yeah. That's when I was first starting on.
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I was like, okay, They're like, oh no, what they'll
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do is in radio, they'll promise you endorsements. But you're gonna get a
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ton of endorsements, so don't worry. Okay. It's like, oh,
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okay, cool, and then you're a year later you're like, wait,
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where are all these endorsements you know, you're like, okay, great,
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but by the way, that still happens. But cool, oh yeah,
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that's there. There are some things with radio that that are forever. Uh.
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One is uh mediocrity in in some cases, and uh the other is
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the talent being promised or producers whatever it is, being promised endorsements and appearances
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to make up the difference in salary that they were hoping. Yeah, oh
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yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. You're gonna get endorsements, and
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you're like, oh cool, no. Yeah. It's like in the comic
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world, though, you don't worry about it. You're gonna get a bunch
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of corporate gigs, that's what and that's where money is. And you're like,
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oh, like how much is it? Oh, it's a ton,
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don't worry about it. And then you're eating chicken tenders, going hey,
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you can't wait for these corporate yeah. Or it's like when you DJ they'd
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be like, well, this is gonna be a great gig back exposure,
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exposure, I mean, the exposure is fantastic, and you do it,
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you'd be like yeah, okay, cool, yeah, you're right. Yeah.
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I got to a point. Where's the thing though, is that my
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mortgage lender doesn't doesn't take exposure is pain. Yeah, I got. I
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got to the point where they go, you know, we'll give you so
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much exposure, like people die from it. People die from exposure. So's
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yeah, I don't want to be exposed. I don't want to be exposed
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anymore. It's true though, you know, radio has changed over the years,
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but the days where we were doing those times back in the day were
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just incredible. And I was talking about it with someone the other day and
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I was like, you know, we might not have been making a ton
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of money, we might not have been, you know, at the best
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stations, but there was something magical about it. I don't know. Maybe
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it's because we were just we didn't know any better. You know, I
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know what it was because at that time, it was you were working for
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Hot one hundred, slash Wild one hundred. We were next door in the
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same building working at Live one oh five three, a station that kind of
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caught lightning in a bottle for a handful of years. And that feeling that
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you're talking about that we all had inside that building, whether you worked at
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Live one o five to three or Hot one hundred, Hot one hundred.
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It was the black Mold. Yeah, yeah, that's what it was.
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It because it was high. Yeah, we were all high on mold spores.
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It was basically a prequel to the Last of Us. Inside that radio
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station about four miles away from downtown. I'm gonna get I'm gonna order you
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guys the book on Messa. That's what I'm gonna get you guys. We
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guys need now. I think we should be like you know those commercials that
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come on when you're watching prices right, like you're entitled to a class action
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loss. I feel like we should be entitled. Oh we should every time,
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whether it's miso thilioma as beestis or if you know, my favorite one
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is. And I think this also would apply to us. If we've had
12:39
issues with our vaginal mesh, we need to contact this attorney. And I
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guarantee you we've all got those issues stemming from that building on John you guys
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use did you guys use talcum powder at any point? Because we can't get
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you guys on that one. We couldn't afford that, we couldn't know where
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that, we can't afford anything. But there was so much a best rats
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that building was maybe one of the Well, I don't know, because we've
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had rats in our building now, so maybe they followed me. I don't
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know. I don't know what's going on, but that building was disgusting because
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they would run right in front of you. They didn't even care. Bill,
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it's not you, it's not you, Billy, Okay, good,
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thank you. Keep telling it's others. Good. It's just the sales department.
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Yeah, well, and it's it's kind of weird though, because of
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all the powdery substances that were floating around that building back in the early to
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mid two thousands, the ones that didn't kill you, killed Billy's bosses.
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Yeah. I mean that's just facts. That's just simple facts right there.
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Like my first day on the job, and this wasn't even the same program
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director. When I first got to Dallas, they forgot about me. They
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were like, hey, we're going to put you up in this holiday inn
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for about a week because we can't go on the air yet. And I
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go, okay, cool, I mean whatever, I'm like twenty years old.
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I go in this holiday inn by Mockingbird on Mockingbird by the Airport by
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love Field, and I'm like a couple of days in im like, does
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this guy know I'm still I'm like, I'm here, I haven't met my
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boss. And I call him. I go, hey, dude, you
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know I'm here. What are you want me to do? He goes,
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oh, ship, that's right, because you were supposed to be unveiled,
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right. Yeah, Like I moved across the country. I drove my Chrysler
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Sea bring down here. Wow. Oh yeah, I had one. It
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wasn't I couldn't afford that, but I made it. It made it,
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and I could not. He forgot. He goes, I'll come pick you
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up. My bad, My bad? Then do you then? Do you
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fast forward? You've really arrived. You're at contract negotiations with another PD and
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he passes out at the test. And chances are had you lifted it up
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and looked at the contract sheet, it would have just been like a Garfield
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cartoon if I don't even know if that would have been the case. No,
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he literally, and then they picked me up, and they forgot to
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fire the other show. So when I walked in, the other show was
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there, and he goes, oh, God, just give me a minute,
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and I goes, no, this is not really happening, and he
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walks into the studio, fires everybody and goes, you're good. I want
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you to remember this story if at any point in your life, as you're
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hearing this, you think, you know what I'd like to get into radio.
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Yeah. If my son asked me. My son's like, you know,
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radio does look fun, I'm like, it sucks. Don't do it.
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Yeah, and trust me, you're your future has Your future is brighter
15:28
if you were to get into a seabring and drive into the sunset. Yeah.
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I got told once. I said, if you uh, if you
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have the chance to kill yourself or good morning radio jump. Speaking of which,
15:43
Billy, how are you on the edge of that cliff? Well,
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I'll see you later. You're listening to the Treehouse visitors online that Treehouse on
15:56
air dot com. Let's get Jaqueline from Brooks Plumbing into the Treehouse now two
16:07
one, four, three six eight thirty eight thirty eight. That's the phone
16:10
number you will need for any and all of your plumbing wants and needs,
16:12
including including emergencies. They will help you with that as well. The website
16:17
Brooks Plumbingtexas dot com. I read recently a headline where a man was referred
16:22
to as Pickleman. The origin story not so great. It's because he stuck
16:26
his head in Nevada Pickles, but still the headline Pickleman. And I immediately
16:30
thought, oh my god, if there was a superhero that could steal my
16:33
wife away from me, it wouldn't be Batman. It'd be Pickleman, because
16:37
that's how much she loves pickles. Is there a superhero that might steal you
16:41
away from your colby? It would have to be a combination of I want
16:45
Deadpool's humor, but in like one of the Batman with nipples bodies. I
16:52
love the Batman with nipples Jean like Timeline. For me, though, it's
16:56
it's Val Kilmer, like I love that Val Kilmer, like that region of
17:03
his career, those years where he's Tombstone, Batman the Saint. So I
17:08
want Val Kilmer Batman, and I want his like sweetness, but I want
17:12
the Deadpool humor. Just wished into one And I got to tell you this
17:17
is a broad statement for all men. All men go watch The Saint.
17:19
To a certain degree, I think that's what every woman wants. We want
17:22
somebody that's a protector, but we want there to be a sense of adventure.
17:26
I also commend that film for doing something no other film I don't think
17:30
is ever done a nuclear physicist wearing knee socks and being taken seriously. And
17:34
the other thing was Val Kilmer's The Saint made driving a Volvo look cool.
17:41
He could have done anything I think in that movie and made it cool.
17:44
But it's Val Kilmer. So this is why I want Batman with nipples.
17:47
Val Kilmer, you know, to come fistfight Colby and you're just be sitting
17:51
on the sideline eating some popcorn. Cheer for both of them. I don't
17:53
know who I want to win. Go guys, go, It doesn't matter
17:56
you win either way. So I yeah. So if you want to win,
18:00
you called Jacklin from Brooks Plumbing. She'll take care of any and all
18:03
of those plumbing once and needs two one fourth thirty six, eight thirty eight
18:06
thirty eight the website Brooks Plumbing Texas dot com. This week at the Dallas
18:10
Comedy Club in deep Ellum. You've seen them on New Girl, Tash Oh,
18:12
the Orville and Moore. Come see Ryan O'Flanagan this Friday and Saturday at
18:18
Dallas Comedy Club and deep Ellum. Oh you got rid of the bidet.
18:21
Why and the bede didn't make a trip. Leave the bidet by the next
18:27
people terrible to clean a bedad. I didn't know that. I didn't know
18:30
you had to clean the day now. Oh my gross. Oh the knob
18:37
your novel was gross. The knob is just for your hands. Yeah,
18:42
you don't poop on that's what you're doing. You're supposed to squirt water.
18:48
You don't turn the knob into your ass. You cool. That's Ryan o'flannagan
18:53
this Friday and Saturday, March fifteenth and sixteenth at the Dallas Comedy Club.
18:56
For tickets, go to Dallas Dash Comedy Club. That's Dallas Dashcomedy Club dot
19:03
com. Your new home for comedy in DFW is the Dallas Comedy Club.
19:07
Funny happens here. Let's get Daniel Cook from COOKDFW Roofing and Restoration into the
19:11
treehouse eight three three COOKDFW for your free roof inspection the website COOKDFW dot com.
19:18
Daniel, in your younger years, were you ever a spring breaker?
19:22
Dan? I was a big time spring breaker when I was young. I
19:26
tell you what. My junior and senior year and me and three other guys
19:33
drove down to South Padre Island, and in that time that was like one
19:37
of the most popular places in the United States to have spring break. Matter
19:44
of fact, MTV had a stage set up on the beach. We stayed
19:48
at the Radison one year, right outside from where that stage was, and
19:53
it was just like, I don't know how to explain it. I mean,
19:56
this little bitty island that you know probably does and have more than five
20:00
hundred people that live there, all of a sudden got twenty thousand kids coming
20:04
into it within like a two week span, and it was just in sanity.
20:08
You're staying up until five or six o'clock in the morning, you go
20:11
home and take a nap, and then you get up the next day and
20:14
you're out on the beach by noon and it's just you start drinking. You
20:18
don't stop. It's like, if you stop being drunk, you will not
20:22
have a good time. I think you just found your new T shirt.
20:27
There you go. Well, the good news is that whole party lifestyle is
20:32
behind Daniel. He's a responsible business owner in North Texas now and he wants
20:37
to make sure that your roof is taken care of just in case you have
20:41
some wild spring breakers. Doing god knows what on your roof now or even
20:47
next week. You need to give Daniel Cook a call one because he's got
20:49
experience on the party side of it and now he's got experience on the business
20:53
side of it. He can take care of you in all aspects of your
20:57
roof, So give him a call for that re roof inspection eight three three
21:00
Cook DFW the website cookdfw dot com. You're in the treehouse, visit us
21:18
online at Treehouse on air dot com. This segment of the tree House is
21:25
to you buy our friends at Brooks Plumbing for any and all of your plumbing
21:29
wants and needs called Jaqueline at Brooks Plumbing two one four three six eight thirty
21:33
eight thirty eight. That's two one four, three six eight thirty eight thirty
21:36
eight. And the first segment was brought to you by the Dallas Comedy Club,
21:40
where you can see and enjoy and experience comedy five nights a week in
21:44
the Safe Little the Safe Little corner of Deep Ellum at the Dallas Comedy Club,
21:48
your new home for funny in DFW. For a ticket and event info,
21:52
go to Dallas dash Coomedyclub dot com. That's Dallas Dash Comedy Club dot
21:57
com uh rajah to take off. He had to hit the road to get
22:02
to get a gig in. And so Billy the kid from the New Old
22:07
Old, New Old in Mixed one or two nine morning shows graciously been abducted
22:12
by the Treehouse to step around for for an additional segment. And we're gonna
22:17
make it worth your while, Billy. All right, So I know that
22:22
being the host of a morning show finally. Good job. By the way,
22:25
thank you that you are up to date with many current events, especially
22:29
those current events in and around Dallas Fort Worth. So I feel highly confident
22:34
that you heard about the poo at the Zoo that the Fort Worth Zoo did
22:37
around Valentine's Day. And I feel like there's an opportunity for you, Billy
22:44
and your producer Yeah Pooh Yeah, to do some serious working together. And
22:51
whether that's pooh with a shovel at the Fort Worth Zoo or whatever, a
22:56
weird zanything you can come up with. I just maybe at the end of
23:00
the day, I think, because I know you like to do things to
23:02
poo in all uses in time, so I think that I love it.
23:04
I love it. I'd be happy to I don't care if he likes it.
23:07
I think it's a great idea. Uh. The other day he was
23:11
tramping around in high heels, which I thoroughly enjoyed. He we did see
23:15
that national anthem. So yeah, something, this makes sense. And if
23:19
you don't know, this is where they could buy some Pooh and dedicate Pooh
23:23
from the zoo to their acts or whoever they wanted to, right exactly,
23:26
that's it. He so needs to go to the zoo and shovel poop and
23:32
uh, maybe that's what you can do. You can arrange with Forward Zoo
23:36
to have a Pooh exhibit there. It is. See, this is the
23:42
next big morning radio thing is gonna got and you heard it. Can't wait
23:47
to get canceled. You can't wait. This is gonna be great. So
23:52
you're saying, let's put Pooh in a cage and just say, okay,
23:56
our next exhibit is Pooh, No billy, not a cage, jesus.
24:00
Oh, you know, like a like a nice zu an exhibit, not
24:04
a prisoner billy. Oh my god, Well listen, I don't know what
24:08
you're what you're thinking. I'm trying to get in your mind here, but
24:11
I'm down for either one. So I mean, well, I mean just
24:15
for the show's sake, you know, we have him done. He's done
24:18
some stupid stuff over the years. But listen that to me, anything that
24:22
involves the zoo I'm good with. Yeah, I think it'd be interesting.
24:26
It'd be an interesting thing where you can do it. Hey, it's you
24:29
know, it's pooh at the zoo and friends and families with children. You
24:33
know, you could go, could go see what a radio producer looks like
24:38
in its almost natural habitat. Yeah. Almost. Is that the same zoo
24:42
that just happened that the silver back y? Yeah, I don't know.
24:47
If him there, he might die. Yeah, they're zoo keepers. Only
24:51
had a bit of a pr problem. So what was that all about?
24:55
This is where the two trainers were in with the silver back gorilla and it
24:59
was like, oh my bad, I let the cake. Well, how
25:00
do you accidentally leave the gorilla out? So they explained it that because they
25:06
forgot to put a bell on him during feeding, they're supposed to go from
25:12
one enclosure to another, and they forgot to move said gorilla into the other
25:18
enclosure, and they were going in there doing some cleaning and then realized that.
25:22
Oops. Yeah, see that right. There is why I can never
25:27
be allowed to work at the zoo, because if you are in any way
25:32
forgetful, you should not work there. I have the brain of warm putty
25:37
when it comes to memory. So I would be dead at the zoo inside
25:42
of five minutes. Oh yeah, no, I would be dead. I'd
25:45
kill somebody else. So by accident, that's the part that I would hate,
25:48
you know what I mean, forget I'd be the one that forgot the
25:51
Oh oh you're still in there. Oh, I just let him lose my
25:53
bad. I can't remember if I shampooed my hair in the shower. Oh,
25:59
I don't remember anything. Yeah, I'm the worst about it too,
26:02
So I get it. I would be a mess. But that somebody better
26:04
have gotten fired for that. Well maybe that's the other part of the interview
26:10
process when you go to apply for working at a zoo, is they ask
26:14
you do you have a good memory? Yes? You do? Okay,
26:15
good? And then and then the follow up question is how fast are you?
26:18
How fast are you? Well, that's the thing about it, because
26:22
you know, like I'm terrified of bears. Thankfully there's not many bears in
26:26
Texas. Although I just read an article that more bears are coming down this
26:29
way from Oklahoma, which pisses me off. Either way, black bears June
26:33
must be a horrible month for you. Yeah, I hate the bear round
26:38
up. Yeah, it's terrifying. I won't even go to Colorado, Like,
26:44
I'm not going anywhere outdoors where there's bears. People are like other kind
26:49
of bears. Oh that bear. No, those bears in June. Yeah,
26:55
those bears I'm fine with. But it's really it's really interesting when those
26:59
two crowds come to get there at the same time. Now, that's something
27:03
I want to watch. But all these different things you have to do with
27:06
the bears, Like grizzly bears, you're supposed to do something. See I
27:08
already forgot, Like if you encounter grizzly bears, you're supposed to make yourself
27:11
as big as possible and like scream hey bear, no yeah, no,
27:17
yes, yeah, you're wrong. Is brown as down and black attack black
27:25
fight back grizzly Yeah, you don't fight back, but you're trying to make
27:29
yourself look bigger because generally they're just trying to protect something, so it'll make
27:33
it not worth it. But no, grizzlies, you're supposed to go make
27:37
yourself as big as possible. See, I would think that's correct. I'm
27:40
pretty sure it's brown down and black attack like verbal kind of thing, because
27:45
I mean, really, if if you if you stand like if you're face
27:48
to face with a grizzly bear, right and you stand up and go,
27:52
if you're face if you're face to face, you've already lost. I'm knowing
27:56
about as the bear is charging you with a grizzly you're supposed to make yourself
28:00
as big as possible and screen at it to try it. He is doing
28:07
that. There's actually there's videos that I don't think the physically, I don't
28:11
think the human body could physically when when a grizzly bear is charging yet you
28:17
spread eagle roar the thirty five miles an hour and they're fourteen hundred pounds and
28:22
they're gonna be like, I'm gonna stand What am I gonna do here?
28:26
I will send you all the video. There's actually a video of this that
28:27
happened, and they did this and the bear just runs off. Are you
28:33
serious? Yes, I'm dead serious. This is they say with grizzlies,
28:37
you are supposed to make yourself as big as possible. Like there are some
28:41
bears, yeah, play dead everything, but grizzlies make yourself big and loud,
28:45
and they don't. They actually they don't like contacts. So the theory
28:48
is is that if they're charging you, they're trying to like it's typically a
28:52
mom trying to protect their cubs. They don't really want to fight, and
28:56
so if it looks like it's going to be a challenge, they will go
28:57
away. Not getting big with a bear. I'm crying. I'm not.
29:02
I'm not, you know what. I I don't think in my life I
29:04
will ever be in a situation where I'm really going to be in danger of
29:07
being attacked by a grizzly bear. Damn it, you said grizzly I was
29:11
gonna say. I was just gonna suggest you move, Trey, because you're
29:18
you're you're in danger right now. Yeah, Trey, whatever you do,
29:22
don't look behind you, play dad, hurry Okay, just a quick Google
29:29
search how to survive a grizzly bear attack brown slash grizzly Bears. If you
29:33
are attacked by a brown slash grizzly bear, leave your pack on and play
29:37
dead. Lay flat on your stomach with your hands clasped behind your neck,
29:41
spread your legs to make it harder for the bear to turn you over.
29:44
I'm not and remain still until the bear leaves the area. Not talking about
29:48
attacking. I'm talking about if I so I should, if you're getting charged
29:52
by a bear, act act big. You see all these rules, all
29:56
these rules. Do you think anybody's gonna remember this as you're panicking because there's
29:59
a bear bre eating down your throat? All these all these rules and I'm
30:02
just dead. I'm just gonna die. I'm just gonna cry and die.
30:07
Probably probably what yourself too. Oh, I'm asking myself immediately. Can we
30:11
swear? Yeah? Yeah, yeah you can't. Oh yeah, good ship,
30:14
I'm shipping myself. That feels good. I'm saying, I'm Mike,
30:15
I'm a ship myself. Now. That's gonna be the only thing I played
30:19
from the promo for the show. Really shit hisself, no no reason why.
30:26
Yeah, we're not, we're not. We're not having Billy the Kid
30:29
back inside the tree. He just shit everywhere. Yeah, you know,
30:33
you never know, you know, I've always found that interesting, you know,
30:36
like in movies and stuff, or you hear stories about people that are
30:38
so scared that they pee or they poop themselves. I must be the exact
30:44
opposite of that, because everything on me just gets sucked back up inside.
30:48
I just retract. Oh no, I'm shipped myself being scared before. You've
30:51
never know. I have literally Mike Hill's house in sixth grade. I've watched
30:52
a scary movie and literally ship myself. I still feel bad about it.
30:56
My mom had to pick me up. It was awful. Is that why
30:59
you had to leave Detroit and move to Dallas? I was running from my
31:02
reputation of shitting everywhere I went. Oh, I wanted to ask you about
31:07
this because we're all about the same age, speaking of shooting yourself. Yeah,
31:11
have you reached the age or have you reached the level of maturity where
31:17
you're disappointed in the toilet paper purchase? Because that happened to me recently,
31:22
and it's it's a realization I didn't I didn't enjoy because I'd gone to the
31:27
bulk store and I got the toilet paper that was by toilet paper in bulk.
31:34
Awful. Yeah, decisions. First of all, your your assholes too
31:37
old for that. You know that you know you can't you at this age,
31:41
you treat yourself right. And one of those things you pamper is your
31:44
butthole. And and here's the thing I I you know, it had been
31:48
a long time since I had slummed it with some cheap toilet paper, and
31:52
I didn't fully inspect the packaging. Instead of getting you know, ironically,
31:57
the bare toilet paper, you know, the sharman. Instead of getting that,
32:01
I got the stuff that's you know, also has the name of some
32:06
guy, and it's I didn't. I didn't look closely enough to see that
32:10
it's barely one ply. And and the thing that really sucks about this is,
32:16
I mean, sure I saved like eleven dollars on sixty four rolls of
32:22
the word. Now I'm stuck with sixty four rolls throwing out I mean translucent
32:28
toilet paper. And the rolls are so thick they never go away. I've
32:34
gone I thought I've gone through like four of these roles. There's still sixty
32:37
three left in the cupboard. Throw them in the ocean. Right now,
32:40
you're by the ocean. Throw them in the ocean and go get some charman.
32:44
What are you doing with your life? You know better than that I
32:46
don't like to be wasteable, Billy. I know, well, yeah,
32:49
but you're not wasting. First of all, you gotta appreciate your ass and
32:52
you're pinky, because you know a pinky's gonna slip through that little one ply.
32:55
You don't. You don't know me, Yeah I do. You don't
32:59
never wipe. Know what my pininky's been through. Yeah, I know it's
33:02
been through that toilet paper. You gotta pamper yourself. There's certain things gonna
33:08
take care of when you get older. I don't care. That's one thing.
33:10
I could be dirt poor and I'm gonna spend money on toilet paper.
33:15
You gotta be boogie about your toilet paper. And that's and that's why I
33:17
wanted to ask you about it, because I think we're all about it because
33:21
I I had. It was a valuable lesson I had to uh to teach
33:24
myself, and I'll never make that mistake again. I'm with you, Billy.
33:28
I'm never going to buy a cheap toilet paper. No. Really,
33:30
you have to do more than just toilet paper, though. You really have
33:32
to do wet wipes. So you have to do wet wipes and the Sharman
33:37
I do dude wipes. I've got those as well. Do those? So
33:40
you like, do do wipes toilet paper? Finish up with the dude wipe?
33:45
Really? Yeah? Oh so you're bookending your wipe. See what I
33:47
did was I used the toilet paper and then I finished with then I finished
33:52
with the dude No, because then you're leaving yourself wet. Okay, it's
33:59
a lot of I know, but you want to finish with a but you
34:01
got to use a wife. Anybody who doesn't use a wipe, I'm like,
34:05
do you wash your car with a dry rag? Makes sense? You
34:08
don't. I mean, hell, I got excited about my new beard trimmer
34:12
the other day, So I mean, I mean you really, do you
34:15
reach a certain age you need to start to appreciate the little things? Yeah,
34:19
it's the little things. Accounting like all this butthole talk like y'all are
34:22
run from a bear trays like hasn't said a word. Apparently he doesn't wipe
34:28
his ass. Oh no, I am, I have all. I have
34:31
absolutely agreement with you. That is my greatest dilemma as far as toilet paper
34:37
goes, is that I can never remember when I'm at the store for some
34:39
reason, whether I like Sharman orquilted Northern Charman Charman, or you get a
34:44
bidet if you want to get real fancy, yes, or just bring in
34:47
the garden hose do something, but you can't just use one, or you
34:50
get one of those detachable shower heads that works too, oh yeah, or
34:52
you know, I mean just you could just bring the hose through the window
34:57
or something. But this I think is important. I think as long as
34:59
our our ass cleanliness is up to a certain standard, I don't think the
35:05
three of us have to worry about bear attacks because our asses will be so
35:08
clean a bear won't even smell us. No, no, they won't,
35:13
and I know they have good scent. But listen, if you, dude,
35:15
wipe and you clean your bootyhole the right way, I think you're fine.
35:17
I don't eve think they'll bother with you. That's what I'm hoping,
35:20
at least, because that's that's what I said. They just give you like
35:22
a hat tip out of respect, like oh clean butthole, good shit man,
35:27
just like not literally, but you know what I mean. But that's
35:30
important, though, dude, that's important. I literally there's certain things.
35:32
Coffee, good coffee, how depressing? Is this? This is the age
35:37
rat. We're like good coffee, yep, good toilet paper, and my
35:42
bones crack when it's about to rain. God, really, mind do it
35:46
every day no matter what. Yeah, mind you too, But it gets
35:49
really bad when it's about the mine. Actually I can't. I can't sneak
35:52
out of bed without waking up my wife because as soon as my toes hit
35:57
the hardwood floor, they all snap and she she pops right up. How
36:00
old are we? Should we just go putting new tennis balls on our walker
36:02
now or what? Well, we're all old enough to remember when mixed one
36:07
O two nine was actually new. Yeah, well that didn't have to take
36:09
that was well? Blow just walked you right into that. Yeah, steel
36:20
plated door, didn't I. That's fun, Billy. It's always fun hanging
36:24
out with you. Man. Love having you in the treehouse. Yeah,
36:25
I love. I love being here. So thank you guys for having me.
36:28
It's fun. We'll do this more often, obviously. If you're not
36:31
already, then you're just an asshole. If you're not already listening to Billy
36:35
the Kids Morning Show. Uh, it really is. And I'm not just
36:38
saying this because he's a close personal friend, and he's also venmowing me as
36:43
we speak. He's one of the top talents, not only in DFW radio
36:46
but in the country. So do yourself a favor. Listen to some actual
36:52
good ass radio in the morning on the Old New, New Old. On
36:57
that go to one O two point nine. Yeah, thank you, thank
37:01
you. I appreciate that. Love you, Billy, clean your buttle Go
37:06
to Mix one or two nine now. Yeah. By the way, if
37:15
we ever end up back on the radio again, our station name is going
37:19
to be the Dick. Oh that's great. Yeah, I like that.
37:23
Yam yeah, yeah cool. Just wait for the Billboard arts. Yeah.
37:30
Oh, there's so many good things you can do with it. Oh.
37:37
The important thing is when you see one in the wild, make yourself big.
37:47
All right, We'll see you back here in the treehouse tomorrow. Tomorrow
37:51
in the tree house. It is Friday and we will be live. So
37:57
we'll see you back here in the treehouse tomorrow