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Siddhartha - Hermann Hesse · Classic Philosophy Book Collection

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: First part to Romayne Rowland, My Dear Friend, Chapter one,
• 0:07
  Speaker 1: The son of the Brahman, in the shade of the house,
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: in the sunshine of the river bank, near the boats,
• 0:15
  Speaker 1: in the shade of the salward forest, in the shade
• 0:18
  Speaker 1: of the fig tree, is where Siddartha grew up, the
• 0:22
  Speaker 1: handsome son of the Brahman, the young Falcon, together with
• 0:26
  Speaker 1: his friend Govinda, son of a Brahman. The sun tanned
• 0:31
  Speaker 1: his light shoulders by the banks of the river when bathing,
• 0:34
  Speaker 1: performing the sacred ablutions, the sacred offerings in the mango grove.
• 0:41
  Speaker 1: Shade poured into his black eyes when playing as a boy,
• 0:45
  Speaker 1: when his mother sang, when the sacred offerings were made,
• 0:49
  Speaker 1: when his father, the scholar, taught him, when the wise
• 0:53
  Speaker 1: men talked. For a long time, Siddartha had been partaking
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: in the discussions of the wise men, practicing debate with Govinda,
• 1:03
  Speaker 1: Practicing with Govinda the art of reflection, the service of meditation.
• 1:09
  Speaker 1: He already knew how to speak the olm silently, the
• 1:12
  Speaker 1: word of words, to speak it silently into himself while inhaling,
• 1:19
  Speaker 1: to speak it silently out of himself, while exhaling with
• 1:23
  Speaker 1: all the concentration of his soul, the forehead surrounded by
• 1:27
  Speaker 1: the glow of the clear thinking spirit. He already knew
• 1:31
  Speaker 1: to feel utman in the depths of his being indestructible,
• 1:36
  Speaker 1: one with the universe. Joy leapt into his father's heart
• 1:41
  Speaker 1: for his son, who was quick to learn, thirsty for knowledge.
• 1:45
  Speaker 1: He saw him growing up to become a great wise
• 1:49
  Speaker 1: man and priest, a priest among the Brahmans. Bliss leapt
• 1:55
  Speaker 1: into his mother's breast when she saw him, when she
• 1:58
  Speaker 1: saw him walking, when she saw him sit down and
• 2:01
  Speaker 1: get up, Siddarthur, strong, handsome, he who was walking on
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  Speaker 1: slender legs, greeting her with perfect respect. Love touched the
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  Speaker 1: hearts of the Brahman's young daughters when Siddartha walked through
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  Speaker 1: the lanes of the town, with the luminous forehead, with
• 2:19
  Speaker 1: the eye of a king, with his slim hips. But
• 2:24
  Speaker 1: more than all the others, he was loved by Govinda,
• 2:27
  Speaker 1: his friend, the son of a Brahman. He loved Siddartha's
• 2:31
  Speaker 1: eye and sweet voice. He loved his walk and the
• 2:35
  Speaker 1: perfect decency of his movements. He loved everything Siddartha did
• 2:40
  Speaker 1: and said, And what he loved most was his spirit,
• 2:44
  Speaker 1: his transcendent, fiery thoughts, his ardent will, his high calling.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: Govinda knew he would not become a common Brahman, not
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  Speaker 1: a lazy official in charge of offerings, not a greedy
• 3:00
  Speaker 1: merchant with magic spells, not a vain, vacuous speaker, not
• 3:06
  Speaker 1: a mean, deceitful priest, and also not a decent, stupid
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  Speaker 1: sheep in the herd of the many. No, and he,
• 3:15
  Speaker 1: Govinda as well, did not want to become one of these,
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: not one of those tens of thousands of Brahmans. He
• 3:24
  Speaker 1: wanted to follow sid Arthur, the beloved, the splendid, And
• 3:29
  Speaker 1: in days to come, when sid Arthur would become a god,
• 3:32
  Speaker 1: when he would join the glorious, then Govinda wanted to
• 3:36
  Speaker 1: follow him as his friend, his companion, his servant, his
• 3:41
  Speaker 1: spear carrier, his shadow. Siddarthur was thus loved by everyone.
• 3:48
  Speaker 1: He was a source of joy for everybody. He was
• 3:51
  Speaker 1: a delight for them all. But he, Siddarthur, was not
• 3:56
  Speaker 1: a source of joy for himself. He found no delight
• 3:59
  Speaker 1: in him himself. Walking the rosy paths of the fig
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  Speaker 1: tree garden, sitting in the bluish shade of the grove
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  Speaker 1: of contemplation, washing his limbs daily in the bath of repentance,
• 4:12
  Speaker 1: sacrificing in the dim shade of the mango forest, his
• 4:16
  Speaker 1: gestures of perfect decency, everyone's love and joy. He still
• 4:22
  Speaker 1: lacked all joy in his heart. Dreams and restless thoughts
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  Speaker 1: came into his mind, flowing from the water of the river,
• 4:32
  Speaker 1: sparkling from the stars of the night, melting from the
• 4:36
  Speaker 1: beams of the sun. Dreams came to him, and a
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  Speaker 1: restlessness of the soul, fuming from the sacrifices breathing forth
• 4:45
  Speaker 1: from the verses of the Rigvader, being infused into him,
• 4:49
  Speaker 1: drop by drop, from the teachings of the old Brahmans.
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: Siddhartha had started to nurse discontent in himself. He had
• 4:59
  Speaker 1: started to feel that the love of his father and
• 5:01
  Speaker 1: the love of his mother, and also the love of
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  Speaker 1: his friend Govinda would not bring him joy forever and
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  Speaker 1: ever would not nurse him, feed him, satisfy him. He
• 5:14
  Speaker 1: had started to suspect that his venerable father and his
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  Speaker 1: other teachers, that the wise Brahmins had already revealed to
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  Speaker 1: him the most and best of their wisdom, that they
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  Speaker 1: had already filled his expecting vessel with their richness and
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  Speaker 1: the vessel was not full. The spirit was not content,
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  Speaker 1: The soul was not calm, the heart was not satisfied.
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  Speaker 1: The ablutions were good, but they were water. They did
• 5:44
  Speaker 1: not wash off the sin. They did not heal the
• 5:48
  Speaker 1: spirit's thirst. They did not relieve the fear in his heart.
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  Speaker 1: The sacrifices in the invocation of the gods were excellent.
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  Speaker 1: But was that all? Did the sacrifice vices give a
• 6:00
  Speaker 1: happy fortune? And what about the gods? Was it really
• 6:05
  Speaker 1: Prajapati who created the world? Was it not the Utman?
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  Speaker 1: He the only one, the singular one. Were the gods
• 6:14
  Speaker 1: not creations? Created like me and you? Subject to time mortal?
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  Speaker 1: Was it therefore good? Was it right? Was it meaningful?
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  Speaker 1: And the highest occupation? To make offerings to the gods?
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  Speaker 1: For whom else were offerings to be made? Who else
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  Speaker 1: was to be worshiped but him, the only one, the Utman?
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  Speaker 1: And where was Utman to be found? Where did he reside?
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  Speaker 1: Where did his eternal heart beat? Where else but in
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  Speaker 1: one's own self, in its innermost part, in its indestructible part,
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  Speaker 1: which everyone had in himself? And where where was this elf,
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  Speaker 1: this innermost part, this ultimate part? It was not flesh?
• 7:06
  Speaker 1: And bone. It was neither thought nor consciousness. Thus the
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  Speaker 1: wisest ones taught. So where was it to reach this place?
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  Speaker 1: The self, myself, the utman. There was another way, which
• 7:21
  Speaker 1: was worthwhile looking for alas, But nobody showed this way.
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  Speaker 1: Nobody knew it, not the Father, and not the teachers,
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  Speaker 1: and the wise men, not the holy sacrificial songs. They
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  Speaker 1: knew everything, the Brahmans and their holy books. They knew everything.
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  Speaker 1: They had taken care of everything, and of more than everything.
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  Speaker 1: The creation of the world, the origin of speech, of food,
• 7:47
  Speaker 1: of inhaling, of exhaling, the engagement of the senses, the
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  Speaker 1: acts of the gods. They knew infinitely much. But was
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  Speaker 1: ivaluable to know all this not knowing that one and
• 8:02
  Speaker 1: only thing, the most important thing, the solely important thing. Surely,
• 8:11
  Speaker 1: many verses of the Holy books, particularly in the Apanishads
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  Speaker 1: of samar Vada, spoke of this innermost and ultimate thing.
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  Speaker 1: Wonderful verses, Your soul is the whole world was written there,
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  Speaker 1: and it was written that man in his sleep, in
• 8:30
  Speaker 1: his deep sleep, would meet with his innermost part and
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  Speaker 1: would reside in the atman. Marvelous wisdom was in these verses.
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  Speaker 1: All knowledge of the wisest ones had been collected there
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  Speaker 1: in magic words, pure as honey collected from bees. No,
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  Speaker 1: not to be looked down upon was the tremendous amount
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  Speaker 1: of enlightenment which lay here, collected and preserved by innumerable
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  Speaker 1: generations of wise Brahmans. But where were the Brahmans, Where
• 9:02
  Speaker 1: the priests? Where the wise men or penitence who had
• 9:06
  Speaker 1: succeeded in not just knowing this deepest of all knowledge,
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  Speaker 1: but also to live it? Where was the knowledgeable one
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  Speaker 1: who wove his spell to bring his familiarity with the
• 9:18
  Speaker 1: atman out of the sleep, into the state of being awake,
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  Speaker 1: into the life, into every step of the way, into
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  Speaker 1: word and deed. Sid Arthur knew many venerable Brahmans, chiefly
• 9:34
  Speaker 1: his father, the pure one, the scholar, the most venerable one.
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  Speaker 1: His father was to be admired. Quiet and noble. Were
• 9:43
  Speaker 1: his manners pure, his life wise, his words delicate, and
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  Speaker 1: noble thoughts lived behind its brow. But even he who
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  Speaker 1: knew so much did he live in blissfulness? Did he
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  Speaker 1: have peace? Was he not also just a searching man,
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  Speaker 1: a thirsty man? Did he not again and again have
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  Speaker 1: to drink from holy sources as a thirsty man, from
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  Speaker 1: the offerings, from the books, from the disputes of the Brahmins.
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  Speaker 1: Why did he, the irreproachable one, have to wash off
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  Speaker 1: sins every day, strive for a cleansing every day, over
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  Speaker 1: and over every day. Was not atman in him? Did
• 10:27
  Speaker 1: not the pristine source spring from his heart? It had
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  Speaker 1: to be found, the pristine source in one's own self.
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  Speaker 1: It had to be possessed. Everything else was searching, was
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  Speaker 1: a detour, was getting lost. Thus were Siddarthur's thoughts. This
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  Speaker 1: was his thirst, this was his suffering. Thus he spoke
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  Speaker 1: to himself from a chandagaya, a punishad, the words, truly
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  Speaker 1: the name of the Brahman is such a verily. Ye
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  Speaker 1: who knows such a thing will enter the heavenly world
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  Speaker 1: every day. Often it seemed near the heavenly world. But
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  Speaker 1: never he had reached it completely. Never he had quenched
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  Speaker 1: the ultimate thirst. And among the wise and wisest men
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  Speaker 1: he knew, and whose instructions he had received, among all
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  Speaker 1: of them, there was no one who had reached it
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  Speaker 1: completely the heavenly world, who had quenched it completely, the
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  Speaker 1: eternal thirst, Govinda said. Arthur spoke to his friend Govinda,
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  Speaker 1: my dear, come with me under the banyan tree. Let's
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  Speaker 1: practice meditation. They went to the banyan tree. They sat down,
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  Speaker 1: Sir Darthur right here, Govinda twenty paces away, while putting
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  Speaker 1: himself down, ready to speak the olm, Si Darthur repeated,
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  Speaker 1: murmuring the verse. Om is the bow, the arrow is soul.
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  Speaker 1: The Brahman is the arrow's target that one should incessantly hit.
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  Speaker 1: After the usual time of the exercise in meditation had passed,
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  Speaker 1: Govinda rose, the evening had come. It was time to
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  Speaker 1: perform the evening's ablution. He called Siddarthur's name. Siddarthur did
• 12:21
  Speaker 1: not answer. Siddartha sat there lost in thought. His eyes
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  Speaker 1: were rigidly focussed towards a very distant target. The tip
• 12:30
  Speaker 1: of his tongue was protruding a little between the teeth.
• 12:35
  Speaker 1: He seemed not to breathe. Thus sat he wrapped up
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  Speaker 1: in contemplation, thinking, Olm his soul sent after the brahmin
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  Speaker 1: as an arrow. Once Samanas had traveled through Siddarthur's town
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  Speaker 1: Esthetics on a pilgrimage, Three skinny withered men, neither old
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  Speaker 1: nor young, with dust, usty and bloody shoulders almost naked,
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  Speaker 1: scorched by the sun, surrounded by loneliness, strangers and enemies
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  Speaker 1: to the world, strangers and lank jackals in the realm
• 13:12
  Speaker 1: of humans behind them blew a hot scent of quiet passion,
• 13:17
  Speaker 1: of destructive service, of merciless self denial. In the evening,
• 13:24
  Speaker 1: after the hour of contemplation, Siddarthur spoke to Govinda early
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  Speaker 1: tomorrow morning, my friend Siddarthur will go to the samanas
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  Speaker 1: he will become a Samana. Govinda turned pale when he
• 13:38
  Speaker 1: heard these words and read the decision in the motionless
• 13:42
  Speaker 1: face of his friend, unstoppable, like the arrow shot from
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  Speaker 1: the bow. Soon and with the first glance, Govinda realized,
• 13:52
  Speaker 1: now it is beginning. Now Siddarthur is taking his own way.
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  Speaker 1: Now his fate is beginning to sprout, and with his
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  Speaker 1: my own. And he turned pale like a dry banana skin. Oh, Siddarthur,
• 14:08
  Speaker 1: he exclaimed, Will your father permit you to do that?
• 14:13
  Speaker 1: Siddartha looked over as if he was just waking up
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  Speaker 1: arrow fast he read in Govinda's soul, read the fear,
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  Speaker 1: Read the submission, Oh Govinda, he spoke quietly. Let's not
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  Speaker 1: waste words tomorrow at daybreak, I will begin the life
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  Speaker 1: of the samanas. Speak no more of it. Siddartha entered
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  Speaker 1: the chamber where his father was sitting on a mat
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  Speaker 1: of bast and stepped behind his father and remained standing
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  Speaker 1: there until his father felt that someone was standing behind him.
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  Speaker 1: Quoth the Brahmin, is that you said, Arthur? Then say
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  Speaker 1: what you came to say, quoth Siddartha, with your permission,
• 15:00
  Speaker 1: my father, I came to tell you that it is
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  Speaker 1: my longing to leave your house tomorrow and go to
• 15:05
  Speaker 1: the esthetics. My desire is to become a Samana. May
• 15:10
  Speaker 1: my father not oppose this. The Brahman fell silent, and
• 15:15
  Speaker 1: remained silent for so long that the stars in the
• 15:18
  Speaker 1: small window wandered and changed their relative positions. Ere the
• 15:22
  Speaker 1: silence was broken, silent and motionless, stood the son, with
• 15:27
  Speaker 1: his arms folded, silent and motionless. Sat the father on
• 15:31
  Speaker 1: the mat, and the stars traced their paths in the sky.
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  Speaker 1: Then spoke the father, not proper is it for a
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  Speaker 1: Brahman to speak harsh and angry words. But indignation is
• 15:46
  Speaker 1: in my heart. I wish not to hear this request
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  Speaker 1: for a second time from your mouth. Slowly, the Brahmin rose.
• 15:55
  Speaker 1: Sid Arthur stood silently, his arms folded. What are you
• 16:00
  Speaker 1: waiting for, asked the father. Quoth Siddartha, you know what? Indignant,
• 16:08
  Speaker 1: the father left the chamber indignant. He went to his
• 16:12
  Speaker 1: bed and lay down. After an hour, since no sleep
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  Speaker 1: had come over his eyes, the Brahman stood up, paced
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  Speaker 1: to and fro, and left the house through the small
• 16:25
  Speaker 1: window of the chamber, he looked back inside, and there
• 16:28
  Speaker 1: he saw Siddhartha standing, his arms folded, not moving from
• 16:33
  Speaker 1: his spot. Pale shimmered his bright robe. With anxiety in
• 16:39
  Speaker 1: his heart, the father returned to his bed after another hour,
• 16:44
  Speaker 1: since no sleep had come over his eyes, the Brahman
• 16:47
  Speaker 1: stood up again, paced to and fro, walked out of
• 16:51
  Speaker 1: the house and saw that the moon had risen. Through
• 16:55
  Speaker 1: the window of the chamber, he looked back inside. There
• 16:59
  Speaker 1: stood said Arthur, not moving from his spot, his arms folded,
• 17:04
  Speaker 1: moonlight reflecting from his bare shins. With worry in his heart,
• 17:10
  Speaker 1: the father went back to bed, and he came back
• 17:13
  Speaker 1: after an hour. He came back after two hours, looked
• 17:17
  Speaker 1: through the small window saw Siddarthur standing in the moonlight.
• 17:22
  Speaker 1: By the light of the stars in the darkness, and
• 17:26
  Speaker 1: he came back hour after hour. Silently, he looked into
• 17:31
  Speaker 1: the chamber, saw him standing in the same place, filled
• 17:35
  Speaker 1: his heart with anger, filled his heart with unrest, filled
• 17:40
  Speaker 1: his heart with anguish, filled it with sadness. And in
• 17:45
  Speaker 1: the night's last hour before the day began, he returned,
• 17:50
  Speaker 1: stepped into the room, saw the young man standing there,
• 17:54
  Speaker 1: who seemed tall and like a stranger to him, Sid
• 17:58
  Speaker 1: d Arthur. He spoke, what are you waiting for? You
• 18:02
  Speaker 1: know what? Will you always stand that way and wait
• 18:06
  Speaker 1: until it becomes morning, noon and evening? I will stand
• 18:11
  Speaker 1: and wait. You will become tired, Si Arthur, I will
• 18:15
  Speaker 1: become tired. You will fall asleep, said Arthur. I will
• 18:20
  Speaker 1: not fall asleep. You will die, said Arthur. I will die.
• 18:27
  Speaker 1: And would you rather die than obey your father? Said
• 18:31
  Speaker 1: d Arthur has always obeyed his father, So will you
• 18:35
  Speaker 1: abandon your plan? Sid d Arthur will do what his
• 18:39
  Speaker 1: father will tell him to do. The first light of
• 18:43
  Speaker 1: day shone into the room. The Brahmans saw that Siddartha
• 18:48
  Speaker 1: was trembling softly in his knees. In Si d Arthur's face,
• 18:52
  Speaker 1: he saw no trembling. His eyes were fixed on a
• 18:55
  Speaker 1: distant spot. Then his father realized that he even now,
• 19:01
  Speaker 1: said Arthur no longer dwelt with him in his home,
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  Speaker 1: that he had already left him. The father touched said
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  Speaker 1: d Arthur's shoulder. You will, he spoke, go into the
• 19:13
  Speaker 1: forest and be a samana. When you'll have found blissfulness
• 19:18
  Speaker 1: in the forest, then come back and teach me to
• 19:21
  Speaker 1: be blissful. If you'll find disappointment, then return and let
• 19:26
  Speaker 1: us once again make offerings to the gods together. Go
• 19:30
  Speaker 1: now and kiss your mother, tell her where you are going.
• 19:34
  Speaker 1: But for me, it is time to go to the
• 19:37
  Speaker 1: river and to perform the first ablution. He took his
• 19:42
  Speaker 1: hand from the shoulder of his son and went outside.
• 19:46
  Speaker 1: SidD Arthur wavered to the side as he tried to walk.
• 19:50
  Speaker 1: He put his limbs back under control, bowed to his father,
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  Speaker 1: and went to his mother to do as his father
• 19:56
  Speaker 1: had said. As he slowly left on stiff legs, in
• 20:01
  Speaker 1: the first light of day the still quiet town, a
• 20:05
  Speaker 1: shadow rose near the last hut who had crouched there
• 20:08
  Speaker 1: and joined the pilgrim. Govinda, you have come, said Sir Dartha,
• 20:14
  Speaker 1: and smiled. I have come, said Govinda. End of Chapter one,
• 20:22
  Speaker 1: Chapter two with the Samanas. In the evening of this day,
• 20:28
  Speaker 1: they caught up with the ascetics the skinny Samanas, and
• 20:32
  Speaker 1: offered them their companionship and obedience. They were accepted. Saddartha
• 20:40
  Speaker 1: gave his garments to a poor Brahman in the street.
• 20:43
  Speaker 1: He wore nothing more than the loin cloth and the
• 20:47
  Speaker 1: earth colored unsown cloak. He ate only once a day,
• 20:52
  Speaker 1: and never something cooked. He fasted for fifteen days. He
• 20:58
  Speaker 1: fasted for twenty eight days. The flesh waned from his
• 21:03
  Speaker 1: thighs and cheeks. Feverish dreams flickered from his enlarged eyes.
• 21:10
  Speaker 1: Long nails grew slowly on his parched fingers, and a dry,
• 21:14
  Speaker 1: shaggy beard grew on his chin. His glance turned to
• 21:19
  Speaker 1: ice when he encountered women. His mouth twitched with contempt.
• 21:24
  Speaker 1: When he walked through a city of nicely dressed people.
• 21:28
  Speaker 1: He saw merchants trading, princes hunting, mourners wailing for their dead,
• 21:34
  Speaker 1: haars offering themselves, physicians trying to heal the sick, Priests
• 21:40
  Speaker 1: determining the most suitable day for seeding, Lovers, loving mothers
• 21:46
  Speaker 1: nursing their children. And all of this was not worthy
• 21:50
  Speaker 1: of one look from his eye. It all lied, It
• 21:55
  Speaker 1: all stank, It all stank of lies. It all pretended
• 22:01
  Speaker 1: to be meaningful and joyful and beautiful, and it all
• 22:05
  Speaker 1: was just concealed putrefaction. The world tasted bitter, life was torture.
• 22:15
  Speaker 1: A goal stood before, said Arthur, a single goal. To
• 22:19
  Speaker 1: become empty, empty of thirst, empty of wishing, empty of dreams,
• 22:27
  Speaker 1: empty of joy and sorrow, dead to himself, not to
• 22:32
  Speaker 1: be a self any more, to find tranquility with an
• 22:36
  Speaker 1: emptied heart, to be open to miracles in unselfish thoughts.
• 22:41
  Speaker 1: That was his goal. Once all of myself was overcome
• 22:47
  Speaker 1: and had died, once every desire and every urge was
• 22:52
  Speaker 1: silent in the heart, then the ultimate part of me
• 22:56
  Speaker 1: had to awake, the innermost of my being, which is
• 23:00
  Speaker 1: no longer myself, the great secret. Silently Saddarthur exposed himself
• 23:08
  Speaker 1: to burning rays of the sun directly above, glowing with pain,
• 23:13
  Speaker 1: glowing with thirst, and stood there until he neither felt
• 23:18
  Speaker 1: any pain nor thirst anymore. Silently, he stood there in
• 23:24
  Speaker 1: the rainy season from his hair. The water was dripping
• 23:28
  Speaker 1: over freezing shoulders, over freezing lips and legs, and the
• 23:34
  Speaker 1: penitent stood there until he could not feel the cold
• 23:38
  Speaker 1: in his shoulders and legs anymore, until they were silent,
• 23:43
  Speaker 1: until they were quiet silently, he cowered in the thorny bushes.
• 23:49
  Speaker 1: Blood dripped from the burning skin, from festering wounds dripped
• 23:55
  Speaker 1: pass and Saddartha stayed rigidly, stayed motionless, until no blood
• 24:03
  Speaker 1: flowed any more, and nothing stung anymore, until nothing burned anymore,
• 24:12
  Speaker 1: Saddartha sat upright and learned to breathe sparingly, learned to
• 24:17
  Speaker 1: get along with only few breaths, learned to stop breathing.
• 24:23
  Speaker 1: He learned beginning with the breath, to calm the beat
• 24:28
  Speaker 1: of his heart, learned to reduce the beats of his
• 24:31
  Speaker 1: heart until they were only a few and almost none.
• 24:38
  Speaker 1: Instructed by the oldest of the Samanas, Siddartha practiced self denial,
• 24:44
  Speaker 1: practiced meditation according to new Samana rules. A heron flew
• 24:51
  Speaker 1: over the bamboo forest, and Siddartha accepted the heron into
• 24:55
  Speaker 1: his soul. Flew over forest and mountains war A heron
• 25:01
  Speaker 1: ate fish felt the pangs of a heron's hunger, spoke
• 25:06
  Speaker 1: the heron's croak died. A heron's death, a dead jackal
• 25:12
  Speaker 1: was lying on the sandy bank, and Siddartha's soul slipped
• 25:16
  Speaker 1: inside the body was the dead jackal lay on the banks,
• 25:22
  Speaker 1: got bloated, stank, decayed, and was dismembered by hyaenas was
• 25:28
  Speaker 1: skinned by vultures, turned into a skeleton, turned to dust,
• 25:34
  Speaker 1: was blown across the fields, and Siddartha's soul returned, had died,
• 25:40
  Speaker 1: had decayed, was scattered as dust had tasted. The gloomy
• 25:45
  Speaker 1: intoxication of the cycle awaited in new thirst, like a
• 25:49
  Speaker 1: hunter in the gap where he could escape from the cycle,
• 25:53
  Speaker 1: where the end of the causes, where an eternity without
• 25:58
  Speaker 1: suffering began. He killed his senses, he killed his memory,
• 26:04
  Speaker 1: He slipped out of his self into thousands of other forms.
• 26:09
  Speaker 1: Was an animal, was carrion, was stone, was wood, was water,
• 26:14
  Speaker 1: And awoke every time to find his old self again
• 26:19
  Speaker 1: sun shone or moon was his own self again turned
• 26:24
  Speaker 1: round in the cycle. Felt thirst overcame the thirst, felt
• 26:30
  Speaker 1: new thirst. Saddarthur learned a lot when he was with
• 26:35
  Speaker 1: the Somana's many ways leading away from the self. He
• 26:40
  Speaker 1: learned to go. He went the way of self denial
• 26:44
  Speaker 1: by means of pain, through voluntary suffering, and overcoming pain, hunger, thirst, tiredness.
• 26:53
  Speaker 1: He went the way of self denial by means of meditation,
• 26:57
  Speaker 1: through imagining the mind to be void of all conceptions.
• 27:02
  Speaker 1: These and other ways he learned to go A thousand times.
• 27:07
  Speaker 1: He left his self for hours and days. He remained
• 27:11
  Speaker 1: in the noneself. But though the ways led away from
• 27:15
  Speaker 1: the self, their end nevertheless always led back to the self.
• 27:22
  Speaker 1: Though Siddartha fled from the self a thousand times, stayed
• 27:26
  Speaker 1: in nothingness, stayed in the animal, in the stone, the
• 27:31
  Speaker 1: return was inevitable, inescapable was the hour when he found
• 27:36
  Speaker 1: himself back in the sunshine, or in the moonlight, in
• 27:40
  Speaker 1: the shade, or in the rain, and was once again
• 27:43
  Speaker 1: his self. And Siddartha and again felt the agony of
• 27:49
  Speaker 1: the cycle which had been forced upon him. By his
• 27:53
  Speaker 1: side lived Govinda, his shadow, walked the same paths undertook
• 27:59
  Speaker 1: the same efforts. They rarely spoke to one another than
• 28:04
  Speaker 1: the service of the exercise is required. Occasionally, the two
• 28:08
  Speaker 1: of them went through the villages to beg for food
• 28:11
  Speaker 1: for themselves and their teachers. How do you think, Govinda, said,
• 28:16
  Speaker 1: Arthur spoke one day while begging this way, how do
• 28:20
  Speaker 1: you think we progress do we reach any goals? Govinda answered,
• 28:27
  Speaker 1: we have learned, and we'll continue learning. You'll be a
• 28:31
  Speaker 1: great Somana, said Arthur quickly. You've learned every exercise. Often
• 28:37
  Speaker 1: the old Samanas have admired you. One day you'll be
• 28:42
  Speaker 1: a holy man, oh, said Arthur. Quoth said Arthur, I
• 28:47
  Speaker 1: can't help but feel that it is not like this,
• 28:51
  Speaker 1: my friend, what I've learned being among the Samanas up
• 28:55
  Speaker 1: to this day, this, oh, Govinda, I could have learned
• 28:59
  Speaker 1: more quickly, clear, by simpler means, in every tavern of
• 29:03
  Speaker 1: that part of a town where the whorehouses are, my friend,
• 29:07
  Speaker 1: among carters and gamblers, I could have learned it, quoth Govinda.
• 29:13
  Speaker 1: Siddartha is putting me on. How could you have learned meditation,
• 29:17
  Speaker 1: holding your breath, insensitivity against hunger and pain there among
• 29:23
  Speaker 1: these wretched people. And Siddartha said, quietly, as if he
• 29:28
  Speaker 1: were talking to himself, what is meditation? What is leaving
• 29:33
  Speaker 1: one's body? What is fasting? What is holding one's breath?
• 29:39
  Speaker 1: It is fleeing from the self. It is a short
• 29:42
  Speaker 1: escape of the agony of being a self. It is
• 29:46
  Speaker 1: a short numbing of the senses against the pain and
• 29:50
  Speaker 1: the pointlessness of life. The same escape, the same short
• 29:55
  Speaker 1: numbing is what the driver of the ox cart finds
• 29:59
  Speaker 1: in the in drinking a few bowls of rice wine
• 30:03
  Speaker 1: or fermented coconut milk. Then he won't feel hisself anymore.
• 30:08
  Speaker 1: Then he won't feel the pains of life anymore. Then
• 30:12
  Speaker 1: he finds a short numbing of the senses. When he
• 30:16
  Speaker 1: falls asleep over his bowl of rice wine. He'll find
• 30:20
  Speaker 1: the same as what Siddartha and Govinda find when they
• 30:24
  Speaker 1: escape their bodies through long exercises, staying in the non self.
• 30:29
  Speaker 1: This is how it is a Govinda, quoth Govinda, You
• 30:35
  Speaker 1: say so, oh friend, Yet you know that Siddartha is
• 30:39
  Speaker 1: no driver of an ox cart, and a Somana is
• 30:43
  Speaker 1: no drunkard. It's true that a drinker numbs his senses.
• 30:47
  Speaker 1: It's true that he briefly escapes and rests, But he'll
• 30:52
  Speaker 1: return from the delusion, finds everything to be unchanged, has
• 30:57
  Speaker 1: not become wiser, has gas that no enlightenment has not
• 31:03
  Speaker 1: risen several steps, and Siddarthur spoke with a smile. I
• 31:08
  Speaker 1: do not know I have never been a drunkard, but
• 31:12
  Speaker 1: that I, SidD Arthur, find only a short numbing of
• 31:16
  Speaker 1: the senses in my exercises and meditation, and that I
• 31:19
  Speaker 1: am just as far removed from wisdom from salvation as
• 31:24
  Speaker 1: a child in the mother's womb. This I know, oh Govinda,
• 31:29
  Speaker 1: this I know. And once again another time, when Siddartha
• 31:34
  Speaker 1: left the forest together with Govinda to beg for some
• 31:38
  Speaker 1: food in the village for their brothers and teachers, Siddartha
• 31:42
  Speaker 1: began to speak and said, what now, o, Govinda. Might
• 31:46
  Speaker 1: we be on the right path, Might we get closer
• 31:50
  Speaker 1: to enlightenment? Might we get closer to salvation? Or do
• 31:55
  Speaker 1: we perhaps live in a circle? We who have thought
• 31:58
  Speaker 1: we were escaping the cycle? Quoth Govinda. We have learned
• 32:04
  Speaker 1: a lot, Siddartha, there is still much to learn. We
• 32:08
  Speaker 1: are not going around in circles. We are moving up.
• 32:12
  Speaker 1: The circle is a spiral. We have already ascended many
• 32:17
  Speaker 1: a level. Siddartha answered, how old would you think is
• 32:23
  Speaker 1: our oldest Samana, our venerable teacher, quoth Govinda. Our oldest
• 32:30
  Speaker 1: one might be about sixty years of age. And Siddartha,
• 32:35
  Speaker 1: he has lived for sixty years and has not reached
• 32:38
  Speaker 1: the nirvana. He'll turn seventy and eighty and you and
• 32:43
  Speaker 1: me will grow just as old, and we'll do our
• 32:46
  Speaker 1: exercises and will fast and will meditate, but we will
• 32:51
  Speaker 1: not reach the nirvana. He won't and we won't, Oh Govinda.
• 32:57
  Speaker 1: I believe out of all the samas out there, perhaps
• 33:01
  Speaker 1: not a single one, not a single one, will reach
• 33:06
  Speaker 1: the nirvana. We find comfort, we find numbness, we learn
• 33:11
  Speaker 1: feats to deceive others. But the most important thing, the
• 33:16
  Speaker 1: path of paths, we will not find. If you only
• 33:22
  Speaker 1: spoke Gavinda, wouldn't speak such terrible words, said Arthur. How
• 33:28
  Speaker 1: could it be that among so many learned men, among
• 33:32
  Speaker 1: so many Brahmins, among so many austere and venerable Somanas,
• 33:37
  Speaker 1: among so many who are searching, so many who are
• 33:41
  Speaker 1: eagerly trying, so many holy men, no one will find
• 33:46
  Speaker 1: the path of paths? But sid Arthur said, in a
• 33:50
  Speaker 1: voice which contained just as much sadness as mockery, with
• 33:54
  Speaker 1: a quiet, a slightly sad, a slightly mocking voice. Soon, Govinda,
• 34:01
  Speaker 1: your friend will leave the path of the samanas he
• 34:05
  Speaker 1: has walked along your side for so long. I am
• 34:09
  Speaker 1: suffering of thirst, oh Govinda, And on this long path
• 34:13
  Speaker 1: of a Samana, my thirst has remained as strong as ever.
• 34:18
  Speaker 1: I always thirsted for knowledge. I have always been full
• 34:22
  Speaker 1: of questions. I have asked the Brahmans year after year.
• 34:26
  Speaker 1: I have asked the Holy Vaders year after year. I
• 34:30
  Speaker 1: have asked the devoted Somanas year after year. Perhaps so, Govinda,
• 34:37
  Speaker 1: it has been just as well, had been just as
• 34:41
  Speaker 1: smart and just as profitable if I had asked the
• 34:44
  Speaker 1: hornbill bird or the chimpanzee. It took me a long time,
• 34:50
  Speaker 1: and I am not finished learning this yet, oh Govinda,
• 34:54
  Speaker 1: that there is nothing to be learned. There is indeed
• 34:58
  Speaker 1: no such thing. So I believe, as what we refer
• 35:02
  Speaker 1: to as learning, there is, oh, my friend, just one knowledge.
• 35:09
  Speaker 1: This is everywhere, This is utman, this is within me
• 35:14
  Speaker 1: and within you, and within every creature. So I'm starting
• 35:19
  Speaker 1: to believe that this knowledge has no worser enemy than
• 35:23
  Speaker 1: the desire to know it than learning. At this, Govinda
• 35:29
  Speaker 1: stopped on the path, rose his hands and spoke. If
• 35:34
  Speaker 1: you said, Arthur, only, would not bother your friend with
• 35:38
  Speaker 1: this kind of talk. Truly, your words stir up fear
• 35:43
  Speaker 1: in my heart. And just consider what would become of
• 35:48
  Speaker 1: the sanctity of prayer, what of the venerability of the
• 35:52
  Speaker 1: Brahman's caste. What of the holiness of the Samanas? If
• 35:57
  Speaker 1: it was as you say, if there was no learning,
• 36:02
  Speaker 1: what o Sadartha would become of all of this? What
• 36:06
  Speaker 1: is holy? What is precious? What is venerable? On earth?
• 36:11
  Speaker 1: And Govinda mumbled a verse to himself, a verse from
• 36:15
  Speaker 1: an upanashad, He who ponderingly of a purified spirit loses
• 36:22
  Speaker 1: himself in the meditation of Atman. Unexpressible by words is
• 36:27
  Speaker 1: his blissfulness of his heart. But Siddartha remained silent. He
• 36:34
  Speaker 1: thought about the words which Govinda had said to him,
• 36:37
  Speaker 1: and thought the words through to their ends. Yes, he thought,
• 36:43
  Speaker 1: standing there with his head low, what would remain of
• 36:47
  Speaker 1: all that which seemed to us to be holy? What
• 36:50
  Speaker 1: remains what can stand the test? And he shook his head.
• 36:57
  Speaker 1: At one time, when the two young men had lived
• 36:59
  Speaker 1: among the Samanas for about three years and had shared
• 37:03
  Speaker 1: their exercises, some news, a rumor, a myth reached them.
• 37:09
  Speaker 1: After being retold many times, a man had appeared, Gautama
• 37:14
  Speaker 1: by name, the exalted One, the Buddha. He had overcome
• 37:19
  Speaker 1: the suffering of the world in himself and had halted
• 37:23
  Speaker 1: the cycle of rebirths. He was said to wander through
• 37:27
  Speaker 1: the land, teaching, surrounded by disciples, without possession, without home,
• 37:34
  Speaker 1: without a wife, in the yellow cloak of an esthetic,
• 37:39
  Speaker 1: but with a cheerful brow. A man of bliss, and
• 37:44
  Speaker 1: Brahmans and princes would bow down before him and would
• 37:47
  Speaker 1: become his students. This myth, this rumor, this legend resounded.
• 37:55
  Speaker 1: Its fragrances rose up here and there. In the town
• 38:00
  Speaker 1: the Brahmins spoke of it, and in the forest the Samanas.
• 38:05
  Speaker 1: Again and again the name of Gautama, the Buddha reached
• 38:10
  Speaker 1: the ears of the young men with good and with
• 38:13
  Speaker 1: bad talk, with praise and with defamation. It was as
• 38:19
  Speaker 1: if the plague had broken out in a country, and
• 38:22
  Speaker 1: news had been spreading around that in one place or
• 38:25
  Speaker 1: another there was a man, a wise man, a knowledgeable one,
• 38:30
  Speaker 1: whose word and breath was enough to heal everyone who
• 38:34
  Speaker 1: had been infected with the pestilence. And as such, news
• 38:39
  Speaker 1: would go through the land, and everyone would talk about it.
• 38:43
  Speaker 1: Many would believe, many would doubt, but many would get
• 38:48
  Speaker 1: on their way as soon as possible to seek the
• 38:52
  Speaker 1: wise man, the helper. Just like this myth ran through
• 38:57
  Speaker 1: the land that fragrant myth of Gattama, the Buddha, the
• 39:02
  Speaker 1: wise man of the family of Sakya. He possessed, so
• 39:07
  Speaker 1: the believers said, the highest enlightenment. He remembered his previous lives.
• 39:14
  Speaker 1: He had reached the nirvana and never returned into the cycle,
• 39:18
  Speaker 1: was never again submerged in the murky river of physical forms.
• 39:24
  Speaker 1: Many wonderful and unbelievable things were reported of him. He
• 39:28
  Speaker 1: had performed miracles, had overcome the devil, had spoken to
• 39:33
  Speaker 1: the gods. But his enemies and disbelievers said this Gautama
• 39:39
  Speaker 1: was a vain seducer. He would spend his days in luxury,
• 39:43
  Speaker 1: scorned the offerings, was without learning, and knew neither exercises
• 39:49
  Speaker 1: nor self castigation. The myth of Buddha sounded sweet. The
• 39:55
  Speaker 1: scent of magic flowed from these reports. After all the war,
• 40:00
  Speaker 1: the world was sick, life was hard to bear. And behold,
• 40:04
  Speaker 1: here a source seemed to spring forth. Here a messenger
• 40:09
  Speaker 1: seemed to call out comforting, mild, full of noble promises.
• 40:16
  Speaker 1: Everywhere where the rumor of Buddha was heard everywhere in
• 40:20
  Speaker 1: the lands of India. The young men listened up, felt
• 40:24
  Speaker 1: a longing, felt hope, and among the Brahman sons of
• 40:29
  Speaker 1: the towns and villages. Every pilgrim and stranger was welcome
• 40:34
  Speaker 1: when he brought news of him, the exalted One, the
• 40:38
  Speaker 1: Sakya Mundi. The myth had also reached the Samanas in
• 40:42
  Speaker 1: the forest, and also said Arthur and also Govinda, slowly,
• 40:49
  Speaker 1: drop by drop, every drop laden with hope, every drop
• 40:55
  Speaker 1: laden with doubt. They rarely talked about it because the
• 41:00
  Speaker 1: oldest one of the Samanas did not like this myth.
• 41:04
  Speaker 1: He had heard that this alleged Buddha used to be
• 41:08
  Speaker 1: an ascetic before and had lived in the forest, but
• 41:12
  Speaker 1: had then turned back to luxury and worldly pleasures. And
• 41:17
  Speaker 1: he had no higher opinion of this Gotama Oh Siddhartha
• 41:23
  Speaker 1: Govinda spoke one day to his friend, Today, I was
• 41:26
  Speaker 1: in the village and a Brahman invited me into his house.
• 41:30
  Speaker 1: And in his house there was the son of a
• 41:33
  Speaker 1: Brahman from Magadha, who has seen the Buddha with his
• 41:37
  Speaker 1: own eyes and has heard him teach verily. This made
• 41:42
  Speaker 1: my chest ache when I breathed, and thought to myself,
• 41:46
  Speaker 1: if only I would too, if only we both would too.
• 41:51
  Speaker 1: Sidartha and me lived to see the hour when we
• 41:55
  Speaker 1: will hear the teachings from the mouth of this perfected man,
• 41:59
  Speaker 1: speak friend. Wouldn't we want to go there too and
• 42:03
  Speaker 1: listen to the teachings from the Buddha's mouth, quoth said Arthur. Always, oh, Govinda,
• 42:10
  Speaker 1: I have thought Govinda would stay with the somanas. Always.
• 42:15
  Speaker 1: I had believed his goal was to live to be
• 42:19
  Speaker 1: sixty and seventy years of age, and to keep on
• 42:23
  Speaker 1: practicing those feats and exercises which are becoming to a somana.
• 42:28
  Speaker 1: But behold, I had not known Govinda well enough. I
• 42:32
  Speaker 1: knew little of his heart. So now you, my faithful friend,
• 42:38
  Speaker 1: want to take a new path and go there where
• 42:41
  Speaker 1: the Buddha spreads his teachings, quoth Govinda. You're mocking me.
• 42:47
  Speaker 1: Mock me if you like, said Arthur. And have you
• 42:51
  Speaker 1: not also developed a desire an eagerness to hear these teachings?
• 42:56
  Speaker 1: Have you not at one time said to me you
• 42:59
  Speaker 1: would not walk the path of the samanas for much longer?
• 43:03
  Speaker 1: At this Saddhartha laughed in his very own manner, in
• 43:07
  Speaker 1: which his voice assumed a touch of sadness and a
• 43:11
  Speaker 1: touch of mockery, and said, well, Govinda, you've spoken well,
• 43:16
  Speaker 1: you've remembered correctly, if you only remembered the other thing
• 43:20
  Speaker 1: as well, you've heard from me, which is that I
• 43:24
  Speaker 1: have grown distrustful and tired against teachings and learnings, and
• 43:29
  Speaker 1: that my faith in words which are brought to us
• 43:32
  Speaker 1: by teachers is small. But let's do it, my dear.
• 43:37
  Speaker 1: I am willing to listen to these teachings, though in
• 43:41
  Speaker 1: my heart I believe we've already tasted the best fruit
• 43:45
  Speaker 1: of these teachings, quoth Govinda. Your willingness delights my heart.
• 43:51
  Speaker 1: But tell me how should this be possible? How should
• 43:55
  Speaker 1: the Gautama's teachings, even before we have heard them, have
• 43:59
  Speaker 1: already revealed their best fruit to us, quoth Siddhartha. Let
• 44:05
  Speaker 1: us eat this fruit and wait for the rest of Govinda.
• 44:09
  Speaker 1: But this fruit, which we already now received thanks to
• 44:13
  Speaker 1: the Gautama, consisted in him calling us away from the Samanas.
• 44:19
  Speaker 1: Whether he has also other and better things to give us,
• 44:22
  Speaker 1: O friend, let us wait with calm hearts. On this
• 44:28
  Speaker 1: very same day, Saddhartha informed the oldest one of the
• 44:32
  Speaker 1: Samanas of his decision that he wanted to leave him.
• 44:37
  Speaker 1: He informed the oldest one with all the courtesy and
• 44:41
  Speaker 1: modesty becoming to a younger one and a student. But
• 44:45
  Speaker 1: the Samana became angry because the two young men wanted
• 44:48
  Speaker 1: to leave him and talked loudly and used crude swear words.
• 44:55
  Speaker 1: Govinda was startled and became embarrassed. But Arthur put his
• 45:00
  Speaker 1: mouth close to Govinda's ear and whispered to him, Now,
• 45:05
  Speaker 1: I want to show the old man that I've learned
• 45:07
  Speaker 1: something from him. Positioning himself closely in front of the
• 45:12
  Speaker 1: Samana with a concentrated soul, he captured the old man's
• 45:17
  Speaker 1: glance with his glances, deprived him of his power, made
• 45:23
  Speaker 1: him mute, took away his free will, subdued him under
• 45:28
  Speaker 1: his own will, commanded him to do silently whatever he
• 45:33
  Speaker 1: demanded him to do. The old man became mute, his
• 45:38
  Speaker 1: eyes became motionless, his will was paralyzed. His arms were
• 45:43
  Speaker 1: hanging down without power. He had fallen victim to Saddarthur's spell.
• 45:50
  Speaker 1: But Siddartha's thoughts brought the Samana under their control. He
• 45:55
  Speaker 1: had to carry out what they commanded. And thus the
• 45:59
  Speaker 1: old man and made several bows, performed gestures of blessing,
• 46:04
  Speaker 1: spoke stammeringly a godly wish for a good journey, and
• 46:09
  Speaker 1: the young men returned the bows with thanks returned the
• 46:14
  Speaker 1: wish went on their way with salutations. On the way.
• 46:20
  Speaker 1: Govinda said, Oh, Siddhartha, you have learned more from the
• 46:24
  Speaker 1: Samanas than I knew. It is hard. It is very
• 46:29
  Speaker 1: hard to cast a spell on an old Samana. Truly,
• 46:34
  Speaker 1: if you had stayed there, you would soon have learned
• 46:37
  Speaker 1: to walk on water. I do not seek to walk
• 46:41
  Speaker 1: on water, said Siddartha. Let old Samanas be content with
• 46:48
  Speaker 1: such feats. End of Chapter two, Chapter three Gottama. In
• 46:58
  Speaker 1: the town of Savathi, every child knew the name of
• 47:02
  Speaker 1: the Exalted Buddha, and every house was prepared to fill
• 47:06
  Speaker 1: the arms dish of Gatarma's disciples. The silently begging ones
• 47:12
  Speaker 1: near the town was Gatarmah's favorite place to stay, the
• 47:16
  Speaker 1: grove of Jetavana, which the rich merchant Anatha Pindika, an
• 47:22
  Speaker 1: obedient worshiper of the Exalted One, had given him and
• 47:25
  Speaker 1: his people for a gift. All tales and answers which
• 47:30
  Speaker 1: the two young ascetics had received in their search for
• 47:34
  Speaker 1: Gatama's abode, had pointed them towards this area, and arriving
• 47:38
  Speaker 1: at Savathi in the very first house, before the door
• 47:42
  Speaker 1: of which they stopped to beg food has been offered
• 47:45
  Speaker 1: to them, and they accepted the food, And Saddartha asked
• 47:49
  Speaker 1: the woman who handed them the food, We would like
• 47:52
  Speaker 1: to know, oh, charitable one, where the Buddha dwells, the
• 47:57
  Speaker 1: most venerable one. For we are too Samanas from the forest,
• 48:01
  Speaker 1: and have come to see him, the perfected One, and
• 48:05
  Speaker 1: to hear the teachings from his mouth. Quoth the woman.
• 48:09
  Speaker 1: Here you have truly come to the right place, you
• 48:13
  Speaker 1: Samanas from the forest. You should know in Jettavana, in
• 48:18
  Speaker 1: the garden of Anatha Pindika, is where the Exalted One dwells. There,
• 48:24
  Speaker 1: you pilgrim shall spend the night, for there is enough
• 48:27
  Speaker 1: space for the innumerable who flock here to hear the
• 48:30
  Speaker 1: teachings from his mouth. This made Govinda happy and full
• 48:36
  Speaker 1: of joy. He exclaimed, Well, so thus we have reached
• 48:41
  Speaker 1: our destination and our path has come to an end.
• 48:46
  Speaker 1: But tell us, o, mother of the pilgrims, do you
• 48:49
  Speaker 1: know him, the Buddha? Have you seen him with your
• 48:52
  Speaker 1: own eyes? Quoth the woman. Many times I have seen him,
• 48:57
  Speaker 1: the Exalted One. On men many days I have seen
• 49:01
  Speaker 1: him walking through the alleys in silence, wearing his yellow cloak,
• 49:06
  Speaker 1: presenting his arms dish in silence at the doors of
• 49:09
  Speaker 1: the houses, leaving with a filled dish Delightedly. Govinda listened
• 49:16
  Speaker 1: and wanted to ask and hear much more, but Siddhartha
• 49:20
  Speaker 1: urged him to walk on. They thanked and left and
• 49:24
  Speaker 1: hardly had to ask for directions, for rather many pilgrims
• 49:28
  Speaker 1: and monks as well from Gautama's community were on their
• 49:32
  Speaker 1: way to the Jetavana, and since they reached it at night,
• 49:36
  Speaker 1: there were constant arrivals, shouts and talk of those who
• 49:40
  Speaker 1: sought shelter and got it. The two Somanas, accustomed to
• 49:45
  Speaker 1: life in the forest, found quickly and without making any noise,
• 49:49
  Speaker 1: a place to stay and rested there until the morning.
• 49:54
  Speaker 1: At sunrise, they saw with astonishment what a large crowd
• 49:59
  Speaker 1: of believers and curious people had spent the night here
• 50:03
  Speaker 1: on all paths of the marvelous grove. Monks walked in
• 50:07
  Speaker 1: yellow robes under the trees. They sat here and there
• 50:11
  Speaker 1: in deep contemplation or in a conversation about spiritual matters.
• 50:16
  Speaker 1: The shady gardens looked like a city full of people
• 50:20
  Speaker 1: bustling like bees. The majority of the monks went out
• 50:25
  Speaker 1: with their arms dish to collect food in town for
• 50:28
  Speaker 1: their lunch, the only meal of the day. The Buddha himself,
• 50:33
  Speaker 1: the Enlightened One, was also in the habit of taking
• 50:36
  Speaker 1: his walk to beg in the morning. Siddarthur saw him
• 50:40
  Speaker 1: and he instantly recognized him, as if a god had
• 50:44
  Speaker 1: pointed him out to him. He saw him, a simple
• 50:49
  Speaker 1: man in a yellow robe, bearing the arms dish in
• 50:52
  Speaker 1: his hand, walking silently. Look here, said Arthur, said quietly
• 50:58
  Speaker 1: to Govinda, this one is the Buddha. Attentively, Govinda looked
• 51:04
  Speaker 1: at the monk in the yellow robe, who seemed to
• 51:07
  Speaker 1: be in no way different from the hundreds of other monks,
• 51:11
  Speaker 1: and soon Govinda also realized this is the one, and
• 51:16
  Speaker 1: they followed him and observed him. The Buddha went on
• 51:20
  Speaker 1: his way, modestly and deep in his thoughts. His calm
• 51:24
  Speaker 1: face was neither happy nor sad. It seemed to smile
• 51:28
  Speaker 1: gently and inwardly, with a hidden smile, quiet calm, somewhat
• 51:35
  Speaker 1: resembling a healthy child. The Buddha walked, wore the robe
• 51:40
  Speaker 1: and placed his feet just as all of his monks
• 51:43
  Speaker 1: did according to a precise rule. But his face and
• 51:47
  Speaker 1: his walk, his quietly lowered glance, his quietly dangling hand,
• 51:54
  Speaker 1: and even every finger of his quietly dangling hand expressed peace,
• 52:00
  Speaker 1: expressed perfection, did not search, did not imitate, breathed softly,
• 52:08
  Speaker 1: in an unwithering calm, in an unwithering light, an untouchable peace.
• 52:16
  Speaker 1: Thus Gottarma walked toward the town to collect arms, and
• 52:21
  Speaker 1: the two Somanas recognized him solely by the perfection of
• 52:25
  Speaker 1: his calm, by the quietness of his appearance, in which
• 52:29
  Speaker 1: there was no searching, no desire, no imitation, no effort
• 52:34
  Speaker 1: to be seen, only light and peace. To day, we'll
• 52:40
  Speaker 1: hear the teachings from his mouth, said Govinda. Sir Arthur
• 52:45
  Speaker 1: did not answer. He felt little curiosity for the teachings.
• 52:49
  Speaker 1: He did not believe that they would teach him anything new.
• 52:53
  Speaker 1: But he had, just as Govinda had heard the contents
• 52:56
  Speaker 1: of this Buddha's teachings again and again, though these reports
• 53:01
  Speaker 1: only represented second or third hand information. But attentively he
• 53:07
  Speaker 1: looked at Gatarma's head, his shoulders, his feet, his quietly
• 53:13
  Speaker 1: dangling hand, and it seemed to him as if every
• 53:16
  Speaker 1: joint of every finger of this hand was of these teachings,
• 53:21
  Speaker 1: spoke of, breathed, of inhaled, the fragrance of glistened of
• 53:27
  Speaker 1: the truth. This man, this Buddha, was truthful down to
• 53:32
  Speaker 1: the gesture of his last finger. This man was holy.
• 53:38
  Speaker 1: Never before, said Arthur, had venerated a person so much,
• 53:42
  Speaker 1: Never before he had loved a person as much as
• 53:46
  Speaker 1: this one. They both followed the Buddha until they reached
• 53:50
  Speaker 1: the town, and then returned in silence, for they themselves
• 53:54
  Speaker 1: intended to abstain from food on this day. They saw
• 53:58
  Speaker 1: Gatarma returning what he ate could not even have satisfied
• 54:02
  Speaker 1: a bird's appetite, and they saw him retiring into the
• 54:06
  Speaker 1: shade of the mango trees. But in the evening, when
• 54:10
  Speaker 1: the heat cooled down and everyone in the camp started
• 54:13
  Speaker 1: to bustle about and gathered around, they heard the Buddha teaching.
• 54:19
  Speaker 1: They heard his voice, and it was also perfected, was
• 54:23
  Speaker 1: of perfect calmness, was full of peace. Gautama taught the
• 54:30
  Speaker 1: teachings of suffering, of the origin of suffering, of the
• 54:34
  Speaker 1: way to relieve suffering, calmly and clearly. His quiet speech
• 54:41
  Speaker 1: flowed on suffering. Was life full of suffering? Was the world,
• 54:47
  Speaker 1: but salvation from suffering had been found. Salvation was obtained
• 54:52
  Speaker 1: by him who would walk the path of the Buddha
• 54:57
  Speaker 1: with a soft yet firm voice. The Exalted One spoke,
• 55:03
  Speaker 1: taught the four main doctrines, taught to the eightfold path. Patiently,
• 55:08
  Speaker 1: he went the usual path of the teachings, of the
• 55:12
  Speaker 1: examples of the repetitions. Brightly and quietly. His voice hovered
• 55:17
  Speaker 1: over the listeners like a light, like a starry night.
• 55:23
  Speaker 1: When the Buddha night had already fallen ended his speech
• 55:27
  Speaker 1: man near pilgrim stepped forward and asked to be accepted
• 55:32
  Speaker 1: into the community. Sought refuge in the teachings, and Gatama
• 55:37
  Speaker 1: accepted them by saying, you have heard the teachings, well
• 55:41
  Speaker 1: it has come to you. Well, does join us and
• 55:45
  Speaker 1: walk in holiness to put an end to all suffering. Behold,
• 55:51
  Speaker 1: Then Govinda, the shy one, also stepped forward and spoke,
• 55:57
  Speaker 1: I also take my refuge in the Exult One and
• 56:00
  Speaker 1: his teachings, And he asked to be accepted into the
• 56:04
  Speaker 1: community of the disciples, and was accepted. Right afterwards, when
• 56:10
  Speaker 1: the Buddha had retired for the night, Govinda turned to
• 56:13
  Speaker 1: Siddhartha and spoke eagerly said Arthur. It is not my
• 56:18
  Speaker 1: place to scold you. We have both heard the Exalted One,
• 56:22
  Speaker 1: and we have both perceived the teachings. Govinda has heard
• 56:26
  Speaker 1: the teachings, he has taken refuge in it. But you,
• 56:31
  Speaker 1: my honored friend, don't you also want to walk the
• 56:34
  Speaker 1: path of salvation? Would you want to hesitate? Do you
• 56:38
  Speaker 1: want to wait any longer? Sir Arthur awakened as if
• 56:43
  Speaker 1: he had been asleep when he heard Govinda's words. For
• 56:47
  Speaker 1: a long time, he looked into Govinda's face. Then he
• 56:52
  Speaker 1: spoke quietly, in a voice without mockery, Govinda, my friend,
• 56:57
  Speaker 1: Now you have taken this step. Now you have chosen
• 57:00
  Speaker 1: this path always, Oh Govinda, you've been my friend. You've
• 57:05
  Speaker 1: always walked one step behind me. Often I have thought,
• 57:10
  Speaker 1: won't Govinda for once also take a step by himself
• 57:14
  Speaker 1: without me, out of his own soul? Behold, now you've
• 57:20
  Speaker 1: turned into a man and are choosing your path for yourself.
• 57:25
  Speaker 1: I wish that you would go it up to its end, oh,
• 57:27
  Speaker 1: my friend, that you shall find salvation. Govinda, not completely
• 57:34
  Speaker 1: understanding it yet, repeated his question in an impatient tone.
• 57:40
  Speaker 1: Speak up, I beg you, my dear tell me, since
• 57:43
  Speaker 1: it could not be any other way that you, also,
• 57:46
  Speaker 1: my learned friend, will take your refuge with the Exalted Buddha.
• 57:51
  Speaker 1: Said Arthur, placed his hand on Govinda's shoulder. You failed
• 57:56
  Speaker 1: to hear my good wish for you, oh Govinda, I
• 57:59
  Speaker 1: am repeating it. I wish that you would go this
• 58:02
  Speaker 1: path up to its end, that you shall find salvation.
• 58:08
  Speaker 1: In this moment, Govinda realized that his friend had left him,
• 58:13
  Speaker 1: and he started to weep, said Darthur. He exclaimed lamentingly.
• 58:20
  Speaker 1: Sir Arthur kindly spoke to him. Don't forget, Govinda, that
• 58:25
  Speaker 1: you are now one of the Samanas of the Buddha.
• 58:28
  Speaker 1: You have renounced your home and your parents, renounced your
• 58:32
  Speaker 1: birth and possessions, renounced your free will, renounced all friendship.
• 58:37
  Speaker 1: This is what the teachings require, This is what the
• 58:41
  Speaker 1: Exalted One wants. This is what you wanted for yourself. Tomorrow,
• 58:47
  Speaker 1: oh Govinda, I'll leave you for a long time. The
• 58:52
  Speaker 1: friends continued walking in the grove for a long time.
• 58:56
  Speaker 1: They lay there and found no sleep, and over and
• 59:01
  Speaker 1: over again. Govinda urged his friend he should tell him
• 59:05
  Speaker 1: why he would not want to seek refuge in Gottarma's teachings.
• 59:10
  Speaker 1: What fault he would find in these teachings? But Siddartha
• 59:15
  Speaker 1: turned him away every time and said, be content, Govinda,
• 59:21
  Speaker 1: very good are the teachings of the Exalted One? How
• 59:24
  Speaker 1: could I find a fault in them? Very early in
• 59:28
  Speaker 1: the morning, a follower of Buddha, one of his oldest monks,
• 59:33
  Speaker 1: went through the garden and called all those to him
• 59:36
  Speaker 1: who had as novices taken their refuge in the teachings,
• 59:40
  Speaker 1: to dress them up in the yellow robe, and to
• 59:43
  Speaker 1: instruct them in the first teachings and duties of their position.
• 59:48
  Speaker 1: Then Govinda broke loose, embraced once again his childhood friend,
• 59:54
  Speaker 1: and left with the novices. But Siddartha walked through the
• 59:59
  Speaker 1: grove lost in thought. Then he happened to meet Gautama,
• 1:00:05
  Speaker 1: the Exalted One. And when he greeted him with respect
• 1:00:09
  Speaker 1: and the Buddha's glance was so full of kindness and calm,
• 1:00:13
  Speaker 1: the young man summoned his courage and asked the venerable
• 1:00:16
  Speaker 1: One for the permission to talk to him silently. The
• 1:00:20
  Speaker 1: Exalted One nodded his approval. Quoth said, Arthur, yesterday, oh
• 1:00:26
  Speaker 1: Exalted One, I had been privileged to hear your wondrous
• 1:00:29
  Speaker 1: teachings together with my friend. I had come from Afar
• 1:00:34
  Speaker 1: to hear your teachings, and now my friend is going
• 1:00:37
  Speaker 1: to stay with your people. He has taken his refuge
• 1:00:40
  Speaker 1: with you. But I will again start on my pilgrimage
• 1:00:46
  Speaker 1: as you please. The Venerable One spoke politely. Too bold
• 1:00:51
  Speaker 1: is my speech, said Arthur. Continued, but I do not
• 1:00:55
  Speaker 1: want to leave the Exalted One without having honestly told
• 1:00:59
  Speaker 1: him my thoughts. Does it please the Venerable One to
• 1:01:03
  Speaker 1: listen to me for one moment longer? Silently, the Buddha
• 1:01:07
  Speaker 1: nodded his approval. Quoth said Arthur. One thing, O, most
• 1:01:13
  Speaker 1: Venerable One, I have admired in your teaching. Most of all,
• 1:01:17
  Speaker 1: everything in your teachings is perfectly clear, is proven. You
• 1:01:23
  Speaker 1: are presenting the world as a perfect chain, a chain
• 1:01:27
  Speaker 1: which is never and nowhere broken, an eternal chain, the
• 1:01:32
  Speaker 1: links of which are causes and effects. Never before this
• 1:01:37
  Speaker 1: has been seen so clearly, Never before this has been
• 1:01:41
  Speaker 1: presented so irrefutably. Truly, the heart of every Brahman has
• 1:01:47
  Speaker 1: to be stronger with love once he has seen the
• 1:01:51
  Speaker 1: world through your teachings, perfectly connected without gaps, clear as
• 1:01:57
  Speaker 1: a crystal, not depending on chance, not depending on God's
• 1:02:03
  Speaker 1: whether it may be good or bad, whether living according
• 1:02:07
  Speaker 1: to it would be suffering or joy. I do not
• 1:02:10
  Speaker 1: wish to discuss. Possibly this is not essential, but the
• 1:02:14
  Speaker 1: uniformity of the world, That everything which happens is connected,
• 1:02:19
  Speaker 1: That the great and the small things are all encompassed
• 1:02:23
  Speaker 1: by the same forces of time, by the same law
• 1:02:27
  Speaker 1: of causes, of coming into being and of dying. This
• 1:02:32
  Speaker 1: is what shines brightly out of your exalted teachings, Oh
• 1:02:37
  Speaker 1: Perfected One. But according to your very own teachings, this
• 1:02:41
  Speaker 1: unity and necessary sequence of all things is nevertheless broken
• 1:02:47
  Speaker 1: in one place. Through a small gap. This world of
• 1:02:51
  Speaker 1: unity is invaded by something alien, something new, something which
• 1:02:57
  Speaker 1: had not been there before, and which cannot be demonstrated
• 1:03:01
  Speaker 1: and cannot be proven. These are your teachings of overcoming
• 1:03:05
  Speaker 1: the world of salvation. But with this small gap, with
• 1:03:11
  Speaker 1: this small breach, the entire eternal and uniform law of
• 1:03:16
  Speaker 1: the world is breaking apart again and becomes void. Please
• 1:03:21
  Speaker 1: forgive me for expressing the subjection quietly. Gautama had listened
• 1:03:26
  Speaker 1: to him, unmoved. Now he spoke the Perfected One with
• 1:03:31
  Speaker 1: his kind, with his polite and clear voice. You've heard
• 1:03:36
  Speaker 1: the teachings, O, son of a Brahman, and good for
• 1:03:39
  Speaker 1: you that you've thought about it thus deeply. You've found
• 1:03:43
  Speaker 1: a gap in it, an error. You should think about
• 1:03:47
  Speaker 1: this further. But be warned, oh seeker of knowledge, of
• 1:03:51
  Speaker 1: the thicket of opinions, and of arguing about words. There
• 1:03:56
  Speaker 1: is nothing to opinions. They may be beautiful, you are ugly,
• 1:04:00
  Speaker 1: smart or foolish. Every One can support them or discard them.
• 1:04:06
  Speaker 1: But the teachings you've heard from me are no opinion,
• 1:04:10
  Speaker 1: and their goal is not to explain the world to
• 1:04:13
  Speaker 1: those who seek knowledge. They have a different goal. Their
• 1:04:17
  Speaker 1: goal is salvation from suffering. This is what Gautama teaches,
• 1:04:23
  Speaker 1: nothing else. I wish that you, oh exalted one, would
• 1:04:28
  Speaker 1: not be angry with me, said the young man. I
• 1:04:32
  Speaker 1: have not spoken to you like this, to argue with you,
• 1:04:35
  Speaker 1: to argue about words. You are truly right. There is
• 1:04:39
  Speaker 1: little too opinions. But let me say this one more thing.
• 1:04:44
  Speaker 1: I have not doubted in you for a single moment.
• 1:04:47
  Speaker 1: I have not doubted for a single moment that you
• 1:04:50
  Speaker 1: are Buddha, that you have reached the goal, the highest
• 1:04:53
  Speaker 1: goal towards which so many thousands of Brahmans, and the
• 1:04:57
  Speaker 1: sons of Brahmans are on their way. You have found
• 1:05:01
  Speaker 1: salvation from death. It has come to you in the
• 1:05:04
  Speaker 1: course of your own search, on your own path, through thoughts,
• 1:05:09
  Speaker 1: through meditation, through realizations, through enlightenment. It has not come
• 1:05:15
  Speaker 1: to you by means of teachings. And thus is my thought,
• 1:05:20
  Speaker 1: O Exalted One, nobody will obtain salvation by means of teachings.
• 1:05:26
  Speaker 1: You will not be able to convey and say to anybody,
• 1:05:29
  Speaker 1: O Venerable One, in words and through teachings, what has
• 1:05:33
  Speaker 1: happened to you in the hour of enlightenment. The teachings
• 1:05:37
  Speaker 1: of the enlightened Buddha contain much. It teaches many to
• 1:05:42
  Speaker 1: live righteously, to avoid evil. But there is one thing
• 1:05:46
  Speaker 1: that these so clear, these so venerable teachings do not contain.
• 1:05:52
  Speaker 1: They do not contain the mystery of what the Exalted
• 1:05:56
  Speaker 1: One has experienced for himself here alone among hundreds of thousands.
• 1:06:03
  Speaker 1: This is what I have thought and realized when I
• 1:06:06
  Speaker 1: have heard the teachings. This is why I am continuing
• 1:06:10
  Speaker 1: my travels, not to seek other better teachings, for I
• 1:06:14
  Speaker 1: know there are none, but to depart from all teachings
• 1:06:18
  Speaker 1: and all teachers, and to reach my goal by myself,
• 1:06:23
  Speaker 1: or to die. But often I'll think of this day,
• 1:06:27
  Speaker 1: oh Exalted One, and of this hour when my eyes
• 1:06:30
  Speaker 1: beheld a holy man. The Buddha's eyes quietly looked to
• 1:06:36
  Speaker 1: the ground, quietly, in perfect equanimity. His inscrutable face was smiling.
• 1:06:44
  Speaker 1: I wish, the venerable One spoke slowly, that your thoughts
• 1:06:48
  Speaker 1: shall not be in error, that you shall reach the goal.
• 1:06:53
  Speaker 1: But tell me, have you seen the multitude of my somanas,
• 1:06:57
  Speaker 1: my many brothers who have taken refuge in the teachings,
• 1:07:01
  Speaker 1: And do you believe, oh stranger o Somana, do you
• 1:07:05
  Speaker 1: believe that it would be better for them to abandon
• 1:07:07
  Speaker 1: the teachings and to return into the life of the
• 1:07:10
  Speaker 1: world and of desires. Far is such a thought from
• 1:07:15
  Speaker 1: my mind, exclaimed said Arthur. I wish that they shall
• 1:07:20
  Speaker 1: stay with the teachings, that they shall reach their goal.
• 1:07:24
  Speaker 1: It is not my place to judge another person's life.
• 1:07:28
  Speaker 1: Only for myself. For myself alone, I must decide, I
• 1:07:32
  Speaker 1: must choose. I must refuse salvation from the self. Is
• 1:07:37
  Speaker 1: what we Samanas search for, Oh Exalted One. If I
• 1:07:42
  Speaker 1: merely were one of your disciples, O venerable one. I'd
• 1:07:46
  Speaker 1: feared that it might happen to me that only seemingly,
• 1:07:49
  Speaker 1: only deceptively, myself would be calmed and be redeemed, but
• 1:07:54
  Speaker 1: that in truth it would live on and grow. For
• 1:07:59
  Speaker 1: then I had replace to myself with the teachings, my
• 1:08:03
  Speaker 1: duty to follow you, my love for you and the
• 1:08:06
  Speaker 1: community of the monks. With half of a smile, with
• 1:08:11
  Speaker 1: an unwavering openness and kindness, Gautama looked into the stranger's
• 1:08:16
  Speaker 1: eyes and bid him to leave with a hardly noticeable gesture.
• 1:08:22
  Speaker 1: You are wise, o Samana, the venerable One spoke. You
• 1:08:27
  Speaker 1: know how to talk wisely, my friend, but be aware
• 1:08:32
  Speaker 1: of too much wisdom. The Buddha turned away, and his
• 1:08:37
  Speaker 1: glance and half of a smile remained forever etched in
• 1:08:41
  Speaker 1: said Arthur's memory. I have never before seen such a
• 1:08:46
  Speaker 1: person glance and smile, sit and walk this way, he thought. Truly,
• 1:08:52
  Speaker 1: I wish to be able to glance and smile, sit
• 1:08:55
  Speaker 1: and walk this way too, Thus free, thus venerable, thus concealed,
• 1:09:02
  Speaker 1: thus open, thus childlike and mysterious. Truly, only a person
• 1:09:09
  Speaker 1: who has succeeded in reaching the innermost part of his
• 1:09:12
  Speaker 1: self would glance and walk this way. Well, so I
• 1:09:18
  Speaker 1: also will seek to reach the innermost part of myself.
• 1:09:24
  Speaker 1: I saw a man, said Arthur, thought, a single man
• 1:09:28
  Speaker 1: before whom I would have to lower my glance. I
• 1:09:32
  Speaker 1: do not want to lower my glance before any other,
• 1:09:36
  Speaker 1: not before any other. No teachings will entice me anymore.
• 1:09:41
  Speaker 1: Since this man's teachings have not enticed me. I am
• 1:09:46
  Speaker 1: deprived by the Buddha, thought, said Arthur. I am deprived,
• 1:09:51
  Speaker 1: and even more he has given to me. He has
• 1:09:54
  Speaker 1: deprived me of my friend, the one who had believed
• 1:09:58
  Speaker 1: in me and now believes in him, who had been
• 1:10:02
  Speaker 1: my shadow and is now Gautama's shadow. But he has
• 1:10:06
  Speaker 1: given me Siddhartha myself. End of Chapter three, Chapter four Awakening.
• 1:10:18
  Speaker 1: When Sadarthur left the grove where the Buddha, the perfected One,
• 1:10:23
  Speaker 1: stayed behind, where Govinda stayed behind, then he felt that
• 1:10:27
  Speaker 1: in this grove his past life also stayed behind and
• 1:10:32
  Speaker 1: parted from him. He pondered about the sensation which filled
• 1:10:37
  Speaker 1: him completely. As he was slowly walking along, he pondered deeply,
• 1:10:43
  Speaker 1: Like diving into a deep water, He let himself sink
• 1:10:47
  Speaker 1: down to the ground of the sensation down to the
• 1:10:51
  Speaker 1: place where the causes lie, because to identify the causes,
• 1:10:56
  Speaker 1: so it seemed to him, is the very essence of
• 1:10:59
  Speaker 1: things king And by this alone, sensations turn into realizations
• 1:11:05
  Speaker 1: and are not lost, but become entities and start to
• 1:11:09
  Speaker 1: emit like rays of light, what is inside of them?
• 1:11:14
  Speaker 1: Slowly walking along, said Arthur pondered, he realized that he
• 1:11:19
  Speaker 1: was no youth anymore, but had turned into a man.
• 1:11:24
  Speaker 1: He realized that one thing had left him, as a
• 1:11:28
  Speaker 1: snake is left by its old skin, That one thing
• 1:11:32
  Speaker 1: no longer existed in him, which had accompanied him throughout
• 1:11:36
  Speaker 1: his youth and used to be a part of him.
• 1:11:39
  Speaker 1: The wish to have teachers and to listen to teachings
• 1:11:45
  Speaker 1: He had also left the last teacher who had appeared
• 1:11:48
  Speaker 1: on his path, even him, the highest and wisest teacher,
• 1:11:53
  Speaker 1: the most holy one Buddha. He had left him, had
• 1:11:57
  Speaker 1: to part with him, was not able to accept his
• 1:12:00
  Speaker 1: teachings Slower, he walked along in his thoughts and asked himself,
• 1:12:07
  Speaker 1: what is all this? What you have sought to learn
• 1:12:10
  Speaker 1: from teachings and from teachers, and what they who have
• 1:12:15
  Speaker 1: taught you much were still unable to teach you, and
• 1:12:19
  Speaker 1: he found it was the self, the purpose and essence
• 1:12:23
  Speaker 1: of which I sought to learn. It was the self
• 1:12:27
  Speaker 1: I wanted to free myself from which I sought to overcome.
• 1:12:32
  Speaker 1: But I was not able to overcome it. Could only
• 1:12:35
  Speaker 1: deceive it, could only flee from it, only hide from it. Truly,
• 1:12:42
  Speaker 1: no thing in this world has kept my thoughts thus
• 1:12:45
  Speaker 1: busy as this my very own self, this mystery of
• 1:12:50
  Speaker 1: me being alive, of me being one and being separated
• 1:12:56
  Speaker 1: and isolated from all others, of me being Saddhartha. And
• 1:13:03
  Speaker 1: there is no thing in this world I know less
• 1:13:06
  Speaker 1: about than me, about Saddhartha. Having been pondering while slowly
• 1:13:13
  Speaker 1: walking along, he now stopped as these thoughts caught hold
• 1:13:17
  Speaker 1: of him, and right away another thought sprang forth from these,
• 1:13:21
  Speaker 1: a new thought, which was that I know nothing about myself.
• 1:13:27
  Speaker 1: That Saddartha has remained thus alien and unknown to me.
• 1:13:32
  Speaker 1: That I know nothing about myself, that Saddhartha has remained
• 1:13:37
  Speaker 1: thus alien and unknown to me, stems from one cause,
• 1:13:42
  Speaker 1: a single cause. I was afraid of myself. I was
• 1:13:47
  Speaker 1: fleeing from myself. I searched Atman, I searched Brahman. I
• 1:13:54
  Speaker 1: was willing to dissect myself and peel off all its
• 1:13:58
  Speaker 1: layers to find the of all peals in its unknown interior,
• 1:14:04
  Speaker 1: the Utman life, the divine part, the ultimate part. But
• 1:14:10
  Speaker 1: I have lost myself in the process. Saddartha opened his
• 1:14:16
  Speaker 1: eyes and looked around. A smile filled his face, and
• 1:14:21
  Speaker 1: a feeling of awakening from long dreams flowed through him
• 1:14:25
  Speaker 1: from his head down to his toes. And it was
• 1:14:29
  Speaker 1: not long before he walked again, walked quickly, like a
• 1:14:33
  Speaker 1: man who knows what he has got to do. Oh,
• 1:14:38
  Speaker 1: he thought, taking a deep breath. Now I would not
• 1:14:42
  Speaker 1: let Sadartha escape from me again. No longer. I want
• 1:14:47
  Speaker 1: to begin my thoughts and my life with Utman and
• 1:14:50
  Speaker 1: with the suffering of the world. I do not want
• 1:14:53
  Speaker 1: to kill and dissect myself any longer to find a
• 1:14:57
  Speaker 1: secret behind the ruins. Neither Yoga Veda shall teach me
• 1:15:02
  Speaker 1: any more, nor Athara Veda, nor the Ascetics, nor any
• 1:15:07
  Speaker 1: kind of teachings. I want to learn from myself, want
• 1:15:12
  Speaker 1: to be my student, want to get to know myself
• 1:15:17
  Speaker 1: the secret of Saddartha. He looked around as if he
• 1:15:22
  Speaker 1: were seeing the world for the first time. Be beautiful,
• 1:15:27
  Speaker 1: was the world colorful? Was the world. Strange and mysterious
• 1:15:32
  Speaker 1: was the world. Here was blue, Here was yellow, He
• 1:15:36
  Speaker 1: was green. The sky and the river flowed, The forest
• 1:15:41
  Speaker 1: and the mountains were rigid. All of it was beautiful.
• 1:15:47
  Speaker 1: All of it was mysterious and magical. And in its
• 1:15:51
  Speaker 1: midst was he Saddhartha, the awakening one on the path
• 1:15:56
  Speaker 1: to himself. All of this, all this yellow and blue,
• 1:16:03
  Speaker 1: river and forest, entered Siddartha for the first time through
• 1:16:07
  Speaker 1: the eyes. Was no longer a spell of Mara, was
• 1:16:12
  Speaker 1: no longer the vale of Maya. Was no longer a
• 1:16:16
  Speaker 1: pointless and coincidental diversity of mere appearances, despicable to the
• 1:16:22
  Speaker 1: deeply thinking Brahman who scorns diversity, who seeks unity. Blue
• 1:16:30
  Speaker 1: was blue, river was river, and if also in the
• 1:16:34
  Speaker 1: blue and the river in Siddhartha, the singular and divine
• 1:16:39
  Speaker 1: lived hidden. So it was still that very Divinity's way
• 1:16:44
  Speaker 1: and purpose to be here yellow, here, blue, their sky,
• 1:16:51
  Speaker 1: there forest, and here Saddhartha. The purpose and essential properties
• 1:16:59
  Speaker 1: were not some where behind the things. They were in
• 1:17:03
  Speaker 1: them in everything. How deaf and stupid have I been,
• 1:17:10
  Speaker 1: he thought, walking swiftly along. When someone reads a text
• 1:17:15
  Speaker 1: wants to discover its meaning. He will not scorn the
• 1:17:18
  Speaker 1: symbols and letters and call them deceptions, coincidence and worthless hull.
• 1:17:25
  Speaker 1: But he will read them, he will study and love them,
• 1:17:29
  Speaker 1: letter by letter. But I, who wanted to read the
• 1:17:33
  Speaker 1: book of the world and the book of my own being,
• 1:17:36
  Speaker 1: I have, for the sake of a meaning I had
• 1:17:38
  Speaker 1: anticipated before I read, scorned the symbols and letters. I
• 1:17:43
  Speaker 1: called the visible world a deception, called my eyes and
• 1:17:47
  Speaker 1: my tongue coincidental and worthless forms without substance. No, this
• 1:17:54
  Speaker 1: is over. I have awakened. I have indeed awakened, and
• 1:17:59
  Speaker 1: have not been born before this very day. In thinking
• 1:18:04
  Speaker 1: these thoughts, Siddartha stopped once again suddenly, as if there
• 1:18:09
  Speaker 1: was a snake lying in front of him on the path,
• 1:18:13
  Speaker 1: Because suddenly he had also become aware of this, he
• 1:18:19
  Speaker 1: who was indeed like someone who had just woken up,
• 1:18:22
  Speaker 1: or like a newborn baby, He had to start his
• 1:18:25
  Speaker 1: life anew and start again at the very beginning. When
• 1:18:31
  Speaker 1: he had left in this very morning from the grove Jetavana,
• 1:18:35
  Speaker 1: the grove of that exalted one, already awakening, already on
• 1:18:40
  Speaker 1: the path towards himself, he had every intention regarded as
• 1:18:46
  Speaker 1: natural and took for granted that he, after years as
• 1:18:50
  Speaker 1: an ascetic, would return to his home and his father.
• 1:18:54
  Speaker 1: But now only in this moment, when he stopped, as
• 1:18:59
  Speaker 1: if a snake was lying on his path, he also
• 1:19:03
  Speaker 1: awoke to this realization. But I am no longer the
• 1:19:07
  Speaker 1: one I was. I am no ascetic any more. I
• 1:19:12
  Speaker 1: am not a priest any more. I am no brahman
• 1:19:15
  Speaker 1: any more. What should I do at home and at
• 1:19:18
  Speaker 1: my father's place? Study, make offerings, practice meditation? But all
• 1:19:25
  Speaker 1: this is over all of this is no longer alongside
• 1:19:30
  Speaker 1: my path, motionless, said Arthur. Remained standing there, and for
• 1:19:35
  Speaker 1: the time of one moment and breath, his heart felt cold.
• 1:19:40
  Speaker 1: He felt a cold in his chest, as a small animal,
• 1:19:44
  Speaker 1: a bird or a rabbit woold when seeing how alone
• 1:19:47
  Speaker 1: he was. For many years he had been without home
• 1:19:52
  Speaker 1: and had felt nothing. Now he felt it still, even
• 1:19:58
  Speaker 1: in the deepest meditation. He had, being his father's son,
• 1:20:01
  Speaker 1: had been a Brahman of a high caste, a cleric.
• 1:20:06
  Speaker 1: Now he was nothing but Siddhartha, the awoken one. Nothing
• 1:20:12
  Speaker 1: else was left. Deeply he inhaled, and for a moment
• 1:20:18
  Speaker 1: he felt cold and shivered. Nobody was thus alone as
• 1:20:22
  Speaker 1: he was. There was no nobleman who did not belong
• 1:20:26
  Speaker 1: to the nobleman, no worker that did not belong to
• 1:20:30
  Speaker 1: the workers and found refuge with them, shared their life,
• 1:20:35
  Speaker 1: spoke their language. No Brahman who would not be regarded
• 1:20:39
  Speaker 1: as Brahmans and lived with them, No ascetic who would
• 1:20:43
  Speaker 1: not find his refuge in the caste of the Samanas.
• 1:20:47
  Speaker 1: And even the most forlorn hermit in the forest was
• 1:20:51
  Speaker 1: not just one and alone. He was also surrounded by
• 1:20:55
  Speaker 1: a place he belonged to. He also belonged to a
• 1:20:59
  Speaker 1: caste in which he was at home. Govinda had become
• 1:21:03
  Speaker 1: a monk, and a thousand monks were his brothers. Wore
• 1:21:06
  Speaker 1: the same robe as he believed in his faith, spoke
• 1:21:10
  Speaker 1: his language. But he, Siddartha, where did he belong to?
• 1:21:15
  Speaker 1: With Whom would he share his life? Whose language would
• 1:21:19
  Speaker 1: he speak? Out of this moment when the world melted
• 1:21:24
  Speaker 1: away all around him, when he stood alone like a
• 1:21:27
  Speaker 1: star in the sky. Out of this moment of cold
• 1:21:31
  Speaker 1: and despair, Siddartha emerged more a self than before, more
• 1:21:36
  Speaker 1: firmly concentrated. He felt this had been the last tremor
• 1:21:43
  Speaker 1: of the awakening, the last struggle of this birth, and
• 1:21:48
  Speaker 1: it was not long until he walked again in long strides,
• 1:21:52
  Speaker 1: started to proceed swiftly and impatiently, heading no longer for home,
• 1:21:57
  Speaker 1: no longer to see his father, no longer Back end
• 1:22:03
  Speaker 1: of chapter four, second part, Chapter five dedicated to Wilhelm Gundet,
• 1:22:11
  Speaker 1: my cousin in Japan. Chapter five Kamala Sad Arthur learned
• 1:22:19
  Speaker 1: something new on every step of his path, for the
• 1:22:23
  Speaker 1: world was transformed and his heart was enchanted. He saw
• 1:22:29
  Speaker 1: the sun rising over the mountains with their forests, and
• 1:22:33
  Speaker 1: setting over the distant beach with its palm trees. At night.
• 1:22:39
  Speaker 1: He saw the stars in the sky in their fixed positions,
• 1:22:43
  Speaker 1: and the crescent of the moon floating like a boat
• 1:22:46
  Speaker 1: in the blue. He saw trees, stars, animals, clouds, rainbows, rocks, herbs, flowers,
• 1:22:56
  Speaker 1: stream and river, the glistening dew in the bush in
• 1:23:00
  Speaker 1: the morning, distant high mountains which were blue and pale.
• 1:23:05
  Speaker 1: Birds sang, and bees wind silverishly blue through the rice field.
• 1:23:13
  Speaker 1: All of this, a thousandfold and colorful, had always been there. Always.
• 1:23:20
  Speaker 1: The sun and the moon had shone always, the rivers
• 1:23:24
  Speaker 1: had roared, and the bees had buzzed. But in former times,
• 1:23:28
  Speaker 1: all of this had been nothing more to sid Arthur
• 1:23:31
  Speaker 1: than a fleeting, deceptive veil before his eyes looked upon
• 1:23:36
  Speaker 1: in distrust, destined to be penetrated and destroyed by thought,
• 1:23:41
  Speaker 1: since it was not the essential existence, since this essence
• 1:23:46
  Speaker 1: lay beyond, on the other side of the visible. But
• 1:23:50
  Speaker 1: now his liberated eyes stayed on this side. He saw
• 1:23:55
  Speaker 1: and became aware of the visible, sought to be at
• 1:23:58
  Speaker 1: home in this world, did not seek for the true essence,
• 1:24:03
  Speaker 1: did not aim at a world beyond. Beautiful was this world,
• 1:24:09
  Speaker 1: looking at it thus without searching, thus simply, thus childlike.
• 1:24:17
  Speaker 1: Beautiful were the moon and the stars. Beautiful was the
• 1:24:21
  Speaker 1: stream and the banks, the forest and the rocks, the
• 1:24:25
  Speaker 1: goat and the gold beetle, the flower and the butterfly.
• 1:24:30
  Speaker 1: Beautiful and lovely. It was thus to walk through the
• 1:24:34
  Speaker 1: world thus childlike, thus awoken, thus open to what is near,
• 1:24:42
  Speaker 1: thus without distrust. Differently, the sun burnt the head, differently,
• 1:24:50
  Speaker 1: the shade of the forest cooled him down. Differently, the
• 1:24:54
  Speaker 1: stream and the cistern, the pumpkin and the banana tasted short.
• 1:25:00
  Speaker 1: Were the days short, the nights. Every hour sped away
• 1:25:05
  Speaker 1: like a sail on the sea. And under the sail
• 1:25:09
  Speaker 1: was a ship of treasures, full of joy. Siddarthur saw
• 1:25:15
  Speaker 1: a group of apes moving through the high canopy of
• 1:25:18
  Speaker 1: the forest, high in the branches, and heard their savage,
• 1:25:23
  Speaker 1: greedy song. Siddarthur saw a male sheep following a female
• 1:25:29
  Speaker 1: one and mating with her in a lake of reeds.
• 1:25:33
  Speaker 1: He saw the pike hungrily hunting for its dinner, propelling
• 1:25:38
  Speaker 1: themselves away from it in fear, wriggling and sparkling. The
• 1:25:43
  Speaker 1: young fish jumped in droves out of the water. The
• 1:25:47
  Speaker 1: scent of strength and passion came forcefully out of the
• 1:25:51
  Speaker 1: hasty eddies of the water, which the pike stirred up
• 1:25:55
  Speaker 1: impetuously hunting. All of this had always existed, and he
• 1:26:01
  Speaker 1: had not seen it. He had not been with it.
• 1:26:05
  Speaker 1: Now he was with it, He was part of it.
• 1:26:09
  Speaker 1: Light and shadow ran through his eyes, Stars and moon
• 1:26:13
  Speaker 1: ran through his heart. On the way, Saddartha also remembered
• 1:26:19
  Speaker 1: everything he had experienced in the garden Jetavana, the teaching
• 1:26:23
  Speaker 1: he had heard there, the divine Buddha, the farewell to Govinda,
• 1:26:28
  Speaker 1: the conversation with the Exalted One. Again, he remembered his
• 1:26:33
  Speaker 1: own words. He had spoken to the Exalted One, every word,
• 1:26:38
  Speaker 1: and with astonishment, he became aware of the fact that
• 1:26:42
  Speaker 1: there he had said things which he had not really
• 1:26:46
  Speaker 1: known yet at this time. What he had said to Gautama,
• 1:26:50
  Speaker 1: his the Buddha's treasure and secret was not the teaching,
• 1:26:55
  Speaker 1: but the unexpressible and not teachable, which he had experienerienced
• 1:27:00
  Speaker 1: in the hour of its enlightenment. It was nothing but
• 1:27:04
  Speaker 1: this very thing what he now began to experience. Now
• 1:27:09
  Speaker 1: he had to experience his self. It is true that
• 1:27:14
  Speaker 1: he had already known for a long time that his
• 1:27:17
  Speaker 1: self was utman in its essence, bearing the same eternal
• 1:27:23
  Speaker 1: characteristics as Brahman. But never had he really found this self,
• 1:27:29
  Speaker 1: because he had wanted to capture it in the net
• 1:27:31
  Speaker 1: of thought, with the body definitely not being the self
• 1:27:37
  Speaker 1: and not the spectacle of the senses. So it also
• 1:27:41
  Speaker 1: was not the thought, not the rational mind, not the
• 1:27:46
  Speaker 1: learned wisdom, not the learned ability to draw conclusions and
• 1:27:52
  Speaker 1: to develop previous thoughts into new ones. No, this world
• 1:27:58
  Speaker 1: of thought was also still on this side, and nothing
• 1:28:03
  Speaker 1: could be achieved by killing the random self of the
• 1:28:07
  Speaker 1: senses if the random self of the thoughts and learned
• 1:28:11
  Speaker 1: knowledge was fattened. On the other hand, both the thoughts,
• 1:28:17
  Speaker 1: as well as the senses, were pretty things. The ultimate
• 1:28:22
  Speaker 1: meaning was hidden behind both of them. Both had to
• 1:28:26
  Speaker 1: be listened to, both had to be played with. Both,
• 1:28:31
  Speaker 1: Neither had to be scorned nor overestimated. From both the
• 1:28:37
  Speaker 1: secret voices of the innermost truth had to be attentively perceived.
• 1:28:43
  Speaker 1: He wanted to strive for nothing except for what the
• 1:28:47
  Speaker 1: voice commanded him to strive for, dwell on nothing except
• 1:28:53
  Speaker 1: where the voice would advise him to do so. Why
• 1:28:57
  Speaker 1: had Gautama at that time, in the hour of all hours,
• 1:29:02
  Speaker 1: sat down under the bow tree where the enlightenment hit him.
• 1:29:07
  Speaker 1: He had heard a voice, a voice in his own heart,
• 1:29:10
  Speaker 1: which had commanded him to seek rest under this tree.
• 1:29:14
  Speaker 1: And he had neither preferred self castigation, offerings, ablutions, nor prayer,
• 1:29:22
  Speaker 1: neither food nor drink, neither sleep nor dream. He had
• 1:29:26
  Speaker 1: obeyed the voice to obey like this, not to an
• 1:29:31
  Speaker 1: external command, only to the voice to be ready like this.
• 1:29:36
  Speaker 1: This was good, this was necessary. Nothing else was necessary.
• 1:29:44
  Speaker 1: In the night, when he slept in the straw heart
• 1:29:47
  Speaker 1: of a ferryman by the river, Siddhartha had a dream.
• 1:29:52
  Speaker 1: Govinda was standing in front of him, dressed in the
• 1:29:56
  Speaker 1: yellow robe of an ascetic, and was how Govinda looked like. Sadly,
• 1:30:03
  Speaker 1: he asked, why have you forsaken me? At this, he
• 1:30:08
  Speaker 1: embraced Govinda, wrapped his arms around him, and as he
• 1:30:12
  Speaker 1: was pulling him close to his chest and kissed him.
• 1:30:16
  Speaker 1: It was not Govinda anymore, but a woman, and a
• 1:30:20
  Speaker 1: full breast popped out of the woman's dress, at which
• 1:30:24
  Speaker 1: Siddarthur lay and drank sweetly and strongly tasted the milk
• 1:30:30
  Speaker 1: from this breast. It tasted of woman and man, of sun,
• 1:30:35
  Speaker 1: and forest, of animal and flower, of every fruit, of
• 1:30:40
  Speaker 1: every joyful desire. It intoxicated him and rendered him unconscious.
• 1:30:48
  Speaker 1: When Siddartha woke up, the pale river shimmered through the
• 1:30:51
  Speaker 1: door of the hut, and in the forest a dark
• 1:30:55
  Speaker 1: call of an owl resounded deeply and pleasantly. When the
• 1:31:01
  Speaker 1: day began, Saddartha asked his host, the ferryman, to get
• 1:31:05
  Speaker 1: him across the river. The ferryman got him across the
• 1:31:09
  Speaker 1: river on his bamboo raft. The wide water shimmered reddishly
• 1:31:14
  Speaker 1: in the light of the morning. This is a beautiful river,
• 1:31:18
  Speaker 1: he said to his companion. Yes, said the ferryman, a
• 1:31:23
  Speaker 1: very beautiful river. I love it more than anything. Often
• 1:31:28
  Speaker 1: I have listened to it. Often I have looked into
• 1:31:32
  Speaker 1: its eyes, and always I have learned from it. Much
• 1:31:37
  Speaker 1: can be learned from a river. I thank you, my benefactor,
• 1:31:41
  Speaker 1: spoke Saddarthur, disembarking on the other side of the river.
• 1:31:46
  Speaker 1: I have no gift I could give you for your hospitality,
• 1:31:49
  Speaker 1: my dear, and also no payment for your work. I
• 1:31:53
  Speaker 1: am a man without a home, a son of a
• 1:31:56
  Speaker 1: Brahman and a Samana. I did see it, spoke the fairyman.
• 1:32:02
  Speaker 1: And I haven't expected any payment from you, and no gifts,
• 1:32:07
  Speaker 1: which would be the custom for guests to bear. You
• 1:32:10
  Speaker 1: will give me the gift another time, do you think so,
• 1:32:15
  Speaker 1: asked Siddarthur, amusedly. Surely these two I have learned from
• 1:32:21
  Speaker 1: the river. Everything is coming back you too, Samana, will
• 1:32:27
  Speaker 1: come back now farewell. Let your friendship be my reward.
• 1:32:32
  Speaker 1: Commemorate me when you'll make your offerings to the gods. Smiling,
• 1:32:39
  Speaker 1: they parted. Smiling, said d Arthur was happy about the
• 1:32:44
  Speaker 1: friendship and the kindness of the Fairyman. He is like Govinda,
• 1:32:49
  Speaker 1: he thought, with a smile. All I meet on my
• 1:32:53
  Speaker 1: path are like Govinda. All are thankful, though they are
• 1:32:58
  Speaker 1: the ones who would have a right to receive thanks.
• 1:33:01
  Speaker 1: All are submissive, all would like to be friends, like
• 1:33:06
  Speaker 1: to obey, think little, like children are all people. At
• 1:33:13
  Speaker 1: about noon he came through a village. In front of
• 1:33:17
  Speaker 1: the mud cottages. Children were rolling about in the street
• 1:33:21
  Speaker 1: or playing with pumpkin seeds and seashells. Screamed and wrestled,
• 1:33:26
  Speaker 1: but they all timidly fled from the unknown Samana. In
• 1:33:32
  Speaker 1: the end of the village, the path led through a stream,
• 1:33:35
  Speaker 1: and by the side of the stream a young woman
• 1:33:38
  Speaker 1: was kneeling and washing clothes. When sid Arthur greeted her,
• 1:33:43
  Speaker 1: she lifted her head and looked up to him with
• 1:33:45
  Speaker 1: a smile, so that he saw the white in her
• 1:33:48
  Speaker 1: eyes glistening. He called out a blessing to her, as
• 1:33:53
  Speaker 1: is the custom among travelers, and asked how far he
• 1:33:57
  Speaker 1: still had to go to reach the large city. Then
• 1:34:02
  Speaker 1: she got up and came to him beautifully. Her wet
• 1:34:06
  Speaker 1: mouth was shimmering in her young face. She exchanged humorous
• 1:34:10
  Speaker 1: banter with him, asked whether he had eaten already, and
• 1:34:14
  Speaker 1: whether it was true that the Samanas slept alone in
• 1:34:17
  Speaker 1: the forest at night and were not allowed to have
• 1:34:20
  Speaker 1: any women with them. While talking, she put her left
• 1:34:25
  Speaker 1: foot on his right one and made a movement as
• 1:34:28
  Speaker 1: a woman does. Who would want to initiate that kind
• 1:34:31
  Speaker 1: of sexual pleasure with the man, which the text books
• 1:34:35
  Speaker 1: call climbing a tree? Said? Arthur felt his blood heating up,
• 1:34:40
  Speaker 1: and since in this moment he had to think of
• 1:34:43
  Speaker 1: his dream again, he bent slightly down to the woman
• 1:34:47
  Speaker 1: and kissed with his lips the brown nipple of her breast.
• 1:34:52
  Speaker 1: Looking up, he saw her face smiling, full of lust,
• 1:34:57
  Speaker 1: and her eyes with contracted pupil pills, begging with desire.
• 1:35:04
  Speaker 1: Sadartha also felt desire and felt the source of his
• 1:35:08
  Speaker 1: sexuality moving, But since he had never touched a woman before,
• 1:35:13
  Speaker 1: he hesitated for a moment while his hands were already
• 1:35:17
  Speaker 1: prepared to reach out for her. And in this moment
• 1:35:21
  Speaker 1: he heard, shuddering with awe, the voice of his innermost self,
• 1:35:28
  Speaker 1: and this voice said no. Then all charms disappeared from
• 1:35:34
  Speaker 1: the young woman's smiling face. He no longer saw anything
• 1:35:38
  Speaker 1: else but the damp glance of a female animal in heat. Politely,
• 1:35:45
  Speaker 1: he petted her cheek, turned away from her, and disappeared
• 1:35:49
  Speaker 1: from the disappointed woman with light steps into the bamboo
• 1:35:53
  Speaker 1: wood on this day. He reached the large city before
• 1:35:58
  Speaker 1: the evening, and was happy, for he felt the need
• 1:36:02
  Speaker 1: to be among people. For a long time he had
• 1:36:06
  Speaker 1: lived in the forest, and the straw hat of the
• 1:36:09
  Speaker 1: ferry man in which he had slept that night had
• 1:36:12
  Speaker 1: been the first roof for a long time he had
• 1:36:15
  Speaker 1: had over his head. Before the city, in a beautifully
• 1:36:20
  Speaker 1: fenced grove, the traveler came across a small group of servants,
• 1:36:25
  Speaker 1: both male and female, carrying baskets in their midst Carried
• 1:36:31
  Speaker 1: by four servants, in an ornamental sedan chair, sat a woman,
• 1:36:36
  Speaker 1: the mistress, on red pillows under a colorful canopy. Saddartha
• 1:36:42
  Speaker 1: stopped at the entrance to the pleasure garden and watched
• 1:36:45
  Speaker 1: the parade, saw the servants, the maids, the baskets, saw
• 1:36:50
  Speaker 1: the sedan chair, and saw the lady in it, under
• 1:36:55
  Speaker 1: black hair which made to tower high on her head.
• 1:36:59
  Speaker 1: He saw a very fair, very delicate, very smart face,
• 1:37:05
  Speaker 1: a brightly red mouth like a freshly cracked fig, eyebrows
• 1:37:10
  Speaker 1: which were well tended and painted in a high arch,
• 1:37:14
  Speaker 1: smart and watchful dark eyes, a clear, tall neck rising
• 1:37:20
  Speaker 1: from a green and golden garment, resting fair hands, long
• 1:37:26
  Speaker 1: and thin with wide golden bracelets over the wrists. Saddarthur
• 1:37:32
  Speaker 1: saw how beautiful she was, and his heart rejoiced. He
• 1:37:38
  Speaker 1: bowed deeply when the sedan chair came closer, and straightening
• 1:37:42
  Speaker 1: up again, he looked at the fair, charming face, red
• 1:37:47
  Speaker 1: for a moment in the smart eyes with the high
• 1:37:50
  Speaker 1: arcs above, breathed in a slight fragrance he did not know.
• 1:37:57
  Speaker 1: With a smile, the beautiful woman nodded from her and
• 1:38:00
  Speaker 1: disappeared into the grove, and then the servants as well.
• 1:38:05
  Speaker 1: Thus I am entering this city, said Arthur thought, with
• 1:38:10
  Speaker 1: a charming omen. He instantly felt drawn into the grove,
• 1:38:15
  Speaker 1: and he thought about it. And only now he became
• 1:38:19
  Speaker 1: aware of how the servants and maids had looked at
• 1:38:21
  Speaker 1: him at the entrance, How despicable, how distrustful, how rejecting.
• 1:38:29
  Speaker 1: I am still a Samana, he thought, I am still
• 1:38:33
  Speaker 1: an ascetic and beggar. I must not remain like this.
• 1:38:37
  Speaker 1: I will not be able to enter the grove like this,
• 1:38:41
  Speaker 1: and he laughed. The next person who came along this path,
• 1:38:46
  Speaker 1: he asked about the grove and for the name of
• 1:38:49
  Speaker 1: the woman, and was told that this was the grove
• 1:38:52
  Speaker 1: of Kamala. The famous courtesan, and that aside from the grove,
• 1:38:58
  Speaker 1: she owned a house in the city. Then he entered
• 1:39:02
  Speaker 1: the city. Now he had a goal. Pursuing his goal,
• 1:39:08
  Speaker 1: he allowed the city to suck him in, drifted through
• 1:39:11
  Speaker 1: the flow of the streets, stood still on the squares,
• 1:39:15
  Speaker 1: rested on the stairs of stone by the river. When
• 1:39:20
  Speaker 1: the evening came, he made friends with a barber's assistant
• 1:39:24
  Speaker 1: whom he had seen working in the shade of an
• 1:39:26
  Speaker 1: arch in a building, whom he had found again praying
• 1:39:30
  Speaker 1: in a temple of Vishnu, whom he had told about
• 1:39:33
  Speaker 1: stories of Vishnu and the Lakshmi. Among the boats by
• 1:39:38
  Speaker 1: the river. He slept this night and early in the morning,
• 1:39:42
  Speaker 1: before the first customers came into his shop, he had
• 1:39:45
  Speaker 1: the barber's assistant shave his beard and cut his hair,
• 1:39:50
  Speaker 1: comb his hair and anoint it with fine oil. Then
• 1:39:54
  Speaker 1: he went to take his bath in the river. When
• 1:39:58
  Speaker 1: late in the afternoon, beautiful Kamala approached her grove in
• 1:40:02
  Speaker 1: her sedan chair, Siddartha was standing at the entrance, made
• 1:40:07
  Speaker 1: a bow and received the cortazan's greeting. But that servant
• 1:40:13
  Speaker 1: who walked at the very end of her train. He
• 1:40:16
  Speaker 1: motioned to him and asked him to inform his mistress
• 1:40:20
  Speaker 1: that a young Brahman would wish to talk to her.
• 1:40:24
  Speaker 1: After a while, the servant returned, asked him who had
• 1:40:28
  Speaker 1: been waiting to follow him, conducted him who was following him,
• 1:40:34
  Speaker 1: without a word into a pavilion where Kamala was lying
• 1:40:38
  Speaker 1: on a couch, and left him alone with her. Weren't
• 1:40:43
  Speaker 1: you already standing out there yesterday greeting me, asked Kamala.
• 1:40:49
  Speaker 1: It's true that I've already seen and greeted you yesterday.
• 1:40:54
  Speaker 1: And didn't you yesterday wear a beard and long hair
• 1:40:58
  Speaker 1: and dust in your hair? You have observed well, you
• 1:41:03
  Speaker 1: have seen everything. You have seen Siddartha, the son of
• 1:41:07
  Speaker 1: a Brahman who has left his home to become a Samana,
• 1:41:11
  Speaker 1: and who has been a somana for three years. But
• 1:41:16
  Speaker 1: now I have left that path and came into this city.
• 1:41:20
  Speaker 1: And the first one I met, even before I had
• 1:41:24
  Speaker 1: entered the city, was you to say this. I have
• 1:41:28
  Speaker 1: come to you, o, Kamala. You are the first woman
• 1:41:33
  Speaker 1: whom Sirdartha is not addressing with his eyes turned to
• 1:41:36
  Speaker 1: the ground. Never again, I want to turn my eyes
• 1:41:40
  Speaker 1: to the ground when I am coming across a beautiful woman.
• 1:41:44
  Speaker 1: Kamala smiled and played with her fan of peacock's feathers
• 1:41:49
  Speaker 1: and asked, and only to tell me this. Saddartha has
• 1:41:54
  Speaker 1: come to me to tell you this and to thank
• 1:41:58
  Speaker 1: you for being soure beautiful. And if it doesn't displease you, Kamala,
• 1:42:03
  Speaker 1: I would like to ask you to be my friend
• 1:42:05
  Speaker 1: and teacher, for I know nothing yet of that art
• 1:42:09
  Speaker 1: which you have mastered in the highest degree. At this,
• 1:42:14
  Speaker 1: Kamala laughed aloud. Never before this has happened to me,
• 1:42:20
  Speaker 1: my friend, that a samana from the forest came to
• 1:42:23
  Speaker 1: me and wanted to learn from me. Never before this
• 1:42:28
  Speaker 1: has happened to me, that a samana came to me
• 1:42:31
  Speaker 1: with long hair and an old torn loincloth. Many young
• 1:42:37
  Speaker 1: men come to me, and there are also sons of
• 1:42:40
  Speaker 1: Brahmins among them. But they come in beautiful clothes, They
• 1:42:45
  Speaker 1: come in fine shoes, They have perfume in their hair
• 1:42:49
  Speaker 1: and money in their pouches. This is o samana. How
• 1:42:54
  Speaker 1: the young men are like who come to me, quoth Sadhartha.
• 1:43:00
  Speaker 1: Already I am starting to learn from you. Even yesterday
• 1:43:05
  Speaker 1: I was already learning. I have already taken off my beard,
• 1:43:09
  Speaker 1: have combed to the hair, have oil in my hair?
• 1:43:14
  Speaker 1: There is little which is still missing in me? Oh,
• 1:43:16
  Speaker 1: excellent one, fine clothes, fine shoes, money in my pouch.
• 1:43:23
  Speaker 1: You shall know Sir Dartha has set harder goals for
• 1:43:26
  Speaker 1: himself than such trifles, and he has reached them. How
• 1:43:30
  Speaker 1: shouldn't I reach that goal which I have set for
• 1:43:33
  Speaker 1: myself yesterday? To be your friend and to learn the
• 1:43:38
  Speaker 1: joys of love from you. You'll see that I'll learn quickly, Carmala.
• 1:43:43
  Speaker 1: I have already learned harder things than what you're supposed
• 1:43:47
  Speaker 1: to teach me. And now let's get to it. You
• 1:43:51
  Speaker 1: aren't satisfied with Sir Dartha as he is with oil
• 1:43:54
  Speaker 1: in his hair, but without clothes, without shoes, without money. Laughing,
• 1:44:01
  Speaker 1: Kamala exclaimed, No, my dear, he doesn't satisfy me yet.
• 1:44:07
  Speaker 1: Clothes are what he must have, Pretty clothes and shoes,
• 1:44:12
  Speaker 1: pretty shoes, and lots of money in his pouch and
• 1:44:16
  Speaker 1: gifts for Kamala. Do you know it now? Samana from
• 1:44:20
  Speaker 1: the forest? Do you mark my words? Yes? I have
• 1:44:24
  Speaker 1: marked your words. Sair Dartha exclaimed, How should I not
• 1:44:29
  Speaker 1: mark words which are coming from such a mouth. Your
• 1:44:33
  Speaker 1: mouth is like a freshly cracked fig. Kamala, My mouth
• 1:44:38
  Speaker 1: is red and fresh as well. It will be a
• 1:44:41
  Speaker 1: suitable match for yours, you'll see. But tell me, beautiful Kamala,
• 1:44:46
  Speaker 1: aren't you at all afraid of the Samana from the
• 1:44:49
  Speaker 1: forest who has come to learn how to make love? Whatever?
• 1:44:54
  Speaker 1: Should I be afraid of a somana, a stupid somana
• 1:44:57
  Speaker 1: from the forest, who is coming from from the jackals
• 1:45:01
  Speaker 1: and doesn't even know yet what women are. Oh, he's strong,
• 1:45:06
  Speaker 1: the Samana, and he isn't afraid of anything. He could
• 1:45:10
  Speaker 1: force you, beautiful girl, He could kidnap you, he could
• 1:45:14
  Speaker 1: hurt you. No, Somana, I am not afraid of this.
• 1:45:19
  Speaker 1: Did any Samana or Brahman ever fear someone might come
• 1:45:24
  Speaker 1: and grab him and steal his learning and his religious
• 1:45:27
  Speaker 1: devotion and his depth of thought? No, for they are
• 1:45:31
  Speaker 1: his very own, and he would only give away from
• 1:45:35
  Speaker 1: those whatever he is willing to give, and to whommever
• 1:45:38
  Speaker 1: he is willing to give. Like this, it is precisely
• 1:45:43
  Speaker 1: like this. It is also with Kamala and with the
• 1:45:46
  Speaker 1: pleasures of love. Beautiful and red is Kamala's mouth, But
• 1:45:52
  Speaker 1: just try to kiss it. Against Kamala's will, and you
• 1:45:56
  Speaker 1: will not obtain a single drop of sweetness from it,
• 1:46:00
  Speaker 1: which knows how to give so many sweet things. You
• 1:46:04
  Speaker 1: are learning easily, said Arthur. Thus you should also learn
• 1:46:09
  Speaker 1: this love can be obtained by begging, buying, receiving it
• 1:46:14
  Speaker 1: as a gift, finding it in the street. But it
• 1:46:18
  Speaker 1: cannot be stolen. In this you have come up with
• 1:46:22
  Speaker 1: the wrong path. No, it would be a pity if
• 1:46:25
  Speaker 1: a pretty young man like you would want to tackle
• 1:46:28
  Speaker 1: it in such a wrong manner, said Arthur, bowed with
• 1:46:33
  Speaker 1: a smile. It would be a pity. Kamala, You are
• 1:46:37
  Speaker 1: so right, It would be such a great pity. No,
• 1:46:41
  Speaker 1: I shall not lose a single drop of sweetness from
• 1:46:45
  Speaker 1: your mouth, nor you from mine. So it is settled.
• 1:46:49
  Speaker 1: Si Darthur will return once he has what he still
• 1:46:53
  Speaker 1: lacks clothes, shoes, money. But speak lovely, Kamala. Couldn't you
• 1:47:00
  Speaker 1: still give me one small advice? An advice? Why not?
• 1:47:05
  Speaker 1: Who wouldn't like to give an advice to a poor,
• 1:47:08
  Speaker 1: ignorant Somana who is coming from the jackals of the forest. Dearkamala,
• 1:47:15
  Speaker 1: Thus advise me where I should go, that i'll find
• 1:47:18
  Speaker 1: these three things most quickly, friend, many would like to
• 1:47:23
  Speaker 1: know this. You must do what you've learned and ask
• 1:47:28
  Speaker 1: for money, clothes, and shoes in return. There is no
• 1:47:32
  Speaker 1: other way for a poor man to obtain money. What
• 1:47:36
  Speaker 1: might you be able to do? I can think, I
• 1:47:40
  Speaker 1: can wait, I can fast, nothing else, nothing, but yes,
• 1:47:48
  Speaker 1: I can also write poetry. Would you like to give
• 1:47:52
  Speaker 1: me a kiss for a poem? I would like to
• 1:47:56
  Speaker 1: If I like your poem? What would be its title?
• 1:48:01
  Speaker 1: Sir Arthur spoke, after he had thought about it for
• 1:48:03
  Speaker 1: a moment. These verses into her shady grove stepped the
• 1:48:08
  Speaker 1: pretty Kamala. At the grove's entrance stood the brown Somana. Deeply,
• 1:48:15
  Speaker 1: seeing the lotus's blossom, bowed that man, and smiling Kamala thanked.
• 1:48:22
  Speaker 1: More lovely, thought the young man than offerings for God's
• 1:48:26
  Speaker 1: More lovely is offering to pretty Kamala. Kamala loudly clapped
• 1:48:32
  Speaker 1: her hands so that the golden bracelets clanged. Beautiful are
• 1:48:38
  Speaker 1: your verses, o, Brown Somana. I am losing nothing when
• 1:48:42
  Speaker 1: I am giving you a kiss for them? She beckoned
• 1:48:45
  Speaker 1: him with her eyes. Heath tilted his head so that
• 1:48:48
  Speaker 1: his face touched hers, and placed his mouth on that mouth,
• 1:48:53
  Speaker 1: which was like a freshly cracked fig for a long time.
• 1:48:58
  Speaker 1: Kamala kissed him, and with a deep astonishment, Sir Darthur
• 1:49:03
  Speaker 1: felt how she taught him, how wise she was, how
• 1:49:07
  Speaker 1: she controlled him, rejected him, lured him, and how after
• 1:49:13
  Speaker 1: this first one there was to be a long, a
• 1:49:16
  Speaker 1: well ordered, well tested sequence of kisses, every one different
• 1:49:21
  Speaker 1: from the others. He was still to receive. Breathing deeply,
• 1:49:27
  Speaker 1: he remained standing where he was and was in this
• 1:49:30
  Speaker 1: moment astonished like a child about a corner copia of
• 1:49:34
  Speaker 1: knowledge and things worth learning, which revealed itself before his eyes.
• 1:49:41
  Speaker 1: Very beautiful are your verses, exclaimed Kamala. If I was rich,
• 1:49:47
  Speaker 1: I would give you pieces of gold for them, But
• 1:49:50
  Speaker 1: it will be difficult for you to earn thus much
• 1:49:53
  Speaker 1: money with verses as you need, for you need a
• 1:49:56
  Speaker 1: lot of money if you want to be Cammala's friend.
• 1:50:00
  Speaker 1: And the way you're able to kiss, Kamala stammered, said Arthur, Yes,
• 1:50:07
  Speaker 1: this I am able to do. Therefore, I do not
• 1:50:10
  Speaker 1: like clothes, shoes, bracelets and all beautiful things. But what
• 1:50:16
  Speaker 1: will become of you? Aren't you able to do anything
• 1:50:19
  Speaker 1: else but thinking, fasting, making poetry? I also know the
• 1:50:26
  Speaker 1: sacrificial songs, said Siddartha, but I do not want to
• 1:50:30
  Speaker 1: sing them anymore. I also know magic spells, but I
• 1:50:34
  Speaker 1: do not want to speak them anymore. I have read
• 1:50:37
  Speaker 1: the scriptures. Stop, Kamala interrupted him. You're able to read
• 1:50:43
  Speaker 1: and write, certainly, I can do this. Many people can
• 1:50:47
  Speaker 1: do this, Most people can't. I also can't do it.
• 1:50:53
  Speaker 1: It is very good that you're able to read and write.
• 1:50:56
  Speaker 1: Very good. You will also still find and use for
• 1:51:00
  Speaker 1: the magic spells. In this moment, a maid came running
• 1:51:05
  Speaker 1: in and whispered a message into her mistress's ear. There's
• 1:51:10
  Speaker 1: a visitor for me, exclaimed Kamala. Hurry and get yourself away,
• 1:51:14
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. Nobody may see you in here. Remember this tomorrow.
• 1:51:20
  Speaker 1: I'll see you again. But to the maid, she gave
• 1:51:23
  Speaker 1: the order to give the pious brahm in white upper garments.
• 1:51:28
  Speaker 1: Without fully understanding what was happening to him, Sir Arthur
• 1:51:32
  Speaker 1: found himself being dragged away by the maid, brought into
• 1:51:36
  Speaker 1: a garden house, avoiding the direct path, being given upper
• 1:51:40
  Speaker 1: garments as a gift, led into the bushes, and urgently
• 1:51:45
  Speaker 1: admonished to get himself out of the grove as soon
• 1:51:49
  Speaker 1: as possible without being seen. Contently, he did as he
• 1:51:54
  Speaker 1: had been told. Being accustomed to the forest, he managed
• 1:51:58
  Speaker 1: to get out of the grove and over there hedge
• 1:52:00
  Speaker 1: without making a sound. Contently, he returned to the city,
• 1:52:06
  Speaker 1: carrying the rolled up garments under his arm. At the
• 1:52:10
  Speaker 1: inn where travelers stay, he positioned himself by the door.
• 1:52:15
  Speaker 1: Without words, he asked for food without a word. He
• 1:52:19
  Speaker 1: accepted a piece of rice cake. Perhaps as soon as tomorrow,
• 1:52:24
  Speaker 1: he thought, I will ask no one for food anymore.
• 1:52:29
  Speaker 1: Suddenly pride flared up in him. He was a samana
• 1:52:34
  Speaker 1: no more. It was no longer becoming to him to
• 1:52:38
  Speaker 1: beg He gave the rice cake to a dog and
• 1:52:43
  Speaker 1: remained without food. Simple is the life which people lead
• 1:52:48
  Speaker 1: in this world here, thought said Arthur. It presents no difficulties.
• 1:52:54
  Speaker 1: Everything was difficult, toilsome and ultimately hopeless when I was
• 1:53:00
  Speaker 1: still a samana. Now everything is easy, easy, like that
• 1:53:05
  Speaker 1: lessons in kissing which Kamala is giving me. I need
• 1:53:09
  Speaker 1: clothes and money, nothing else. This is a small near goal.
• 1:53:15
  Speaker 1: They won't make a person lose any sleep. He had
• 1:53:19
  Speaker 1: already discovered Kamala's house in the city long before there
• 1:53:24
  Speaker 1: he turned up the following day. Things are working out well,
• 1:53:29
  Speaker 1: she called out to him. They are expecting you at Kamaswami's.
• 1:53:34
  Speaker 1: He is the richest merchant of the city. If he'll
• 1:53:37
  Speaker 1: like you, he'll accept you into his service. Be smart,
• 1:53:42
  Speaker 1: Brown Samana, I had others tell him about you. Be
• 1:53:46
  Speaker 1: polite towards him. He is very powerful, but don't be
• 1:53:51
  Speaker 1: too modest. I do not want you to become his servant.
• 1:53:55
  Speaker 1: You shall become his equal, or else I won't be
• 1:53:59
  Speaker 1: satisfied with you. Kamaswami is starting to get old and lazy.
• 1:54:04
  Speaker 1: If you'll like you, he'll entrust you with a lot.
• 1:54:10
  Speaker 1: Sid Arthur thanked her and laughed, and when she found
• 1:54:13
  Speaker 1: out that he had not eaten anything yesterday and today,
• 1:54:16
  Speaker 1: she sent for bread and fruits and treated him to it.
• 1:54:21
  Speaker 1: You've been lucky, she said, when they parted. I'm opening
• 1:54:25
  Speaker 1: one door after another for you. How come do you
• 1:54:29
  Speaker 1: have a spell, sid Arthur said, yesterday I told you
• 1:54:35
  Speaker 1: I knew how to think, to wait, and to fast,
• 1:54:39
  Speaker 1: and you thought this was of no use, But it
• 1:54:43
  Speaker 1: is useful for many things. Kamala, You'll see. You'll see
• 1:54:48
  Speaker 1: that the stupid Somanas are learning and able to do
• 1:54:52
  Speaker 1: many pretty things in the forest which the likes of
• 1:54:55
  Speaker 1: you aren't capable of. The Day before yesterday, I was
• 1:55:00
  Speaker 1: still a shaggy beggar. As soon as yesterday I have
• 1:55:04
  Speaker 1: kissed Kamala, and soon I'll be a merchant and have
• 1:55:08
  Speaker 1: money and all those things you insist upon. Well, yes,
• 1:55:14
  Speaker 1: she admitted, But where would you be without me? What
• 1:55:18
  Speaker 1: would you be if Kamala wasn't helping you, Dear Kamala,
• 1:55:24
  Speaker 1: said sad Darthur and straightened up to his full height.
• 1:55:28
  Speaker 1: When I came to you in your grove, I did
• 1:55:31
  Speaker 1: the first step. It was my resolution to learn love
• 1:55:35
  Speaker 1: from this most beautiful woman. From that moment on, when
• 1:55:40
  Speaker 1: I made this resolution, I also knew that I would
• 1:55:44
  Speaker 1: carry it out. I knew that you would help me.
• 1:55:47
  Speaker 1: At your first glance at the entrance to the grove,
• 1:55:50
  Speaker 1: I already knew it. But what if I hadn't been
• 1:55:55
  Speaker 1: willing you were willing. Look, when you throw a rock
• 1:56:02
  Speaker 1: into the water, it will speed on the fastest course
• 1:56:06
  Speaker 1: to the bottom of the water. This is how it
• 1:56:09
  Speaker 1: is when Sadartha has a goal, a resolution. Sadartha does nothing.
• 1:56:15
  Speaker 1: He waits, he thinks, he fasts, but he passes through
• 1:56:21
  Speaker 1: the things of the world. Like a rock through water,
• 1:56:25
  Speaker 1: without doing anything, without stirring, he is drawn. He lets
• 1:56:32
  Speaker 1: himself fall. His goal attracts him because he doesn't let
• 1:56:38
  Speaker 1: anything enter his soul which might oppose the goal. This
• 1:56:43
  Speaker 1: is what Sadartha has learned among the Somanas. This is
• 1:56:47
  Speaker 1: what fools call magic, and of which they think it
• 1:56:50
  Speaker 1: would be affected by means of the demons. Nothing is
• 1:56:55
  Speaker 1: affected by demons. There are no demons. Every One can
• 1:57:00
  Speaker 1: perform magic. Every one can reach his goals if he
• 1:57:05
  Speaker 1: is able to think, if he is able to wait,
• 1:57:09
  Speaker 1: if he is able too fast. Kamala listened to him.
• 1:57:15
  Speaker 1: She loved his voice, she loved the look of his eyes.
• 1:57:21
  Speaker 1: Perhaps it is so, she said, quietly, as you say, friend.
• 1:57:26
  Speaker 1: But perhaps it is also like this, that Siddartha is
• 1:57:31
  Speaker 1: a handsome man, that his glance pleases the women, and
• 1:57:35
  Speaker 1: that therefore good fortune is coming towards him. With one kiss,
• 1:57:41
  Speaker 1: Siddartha bid his farewell. I wish that it should be
• 1:57:45
  Speaker 1: this way, my teacher, that my glance shall please you,
• 1:57:49
  Speaker 1: that always good fortune shall come to me out of
• 1:57:53
  Speaker 1: your direction. End of chapter five. Chapter six, with the
• 1:58:01
  Speaker 1: childlike people said, Arthur went to Kamaswami the merchant. He
• 1:58:07
  Speaker 1: was directed into a rich house. Servants led him between
• 1:58:11
  Speaker 1: precious carpets into a chamber where he awaited the master
• 1:58:15
  Speaker 1: of the house. Kamiswami entered, a swiftly, smoothly moving man
• 1:58:22
  Speaker 1: with very gray hair, with very intelligent, cautious eyes, with
• 1:58:27
  Speaker 1: a greedy mouth. Politely, the host and the guest greeted
• 1:58:32
  Speaker 1: one another. I have been told, the merchant began, that
• 1:58:37
  Speaker 1: you were a Brahmin, a learned man, but that you
• 1:58:41
  Speaker 1: seek to be in the service of a merchant. Might
• 1:58:45
  Speaker 1: you have become destitute Brahman, so that you seek to
• 1:58:49
  Speaker 1: serve No, said sad Arthur. I have not become destitute,
• 1:58:55
  Speaker 1: and have never been destitute. You should know that I
• 1:58:58
  Speaker 1: am coming from the Sama with whom I have lived
• 1:59:02
  Speaker 1: for a long time. If you're coming from the Somanas,
• 1:59:06
  Speaker 1: how could you be anything but destitute? Aren't the Somanas
• 1:59:11
  Speaker 1: entirely without possessions? I am without possessions, said said Arthur.
• 1:59:17
  Speaker 1: If this is what you mean, surely I am without possessions.
• 1:59:21
  Speaker 1: But I am so voluntarily and therefore I am not destitute.
• 1:59:27
  Speaker 1: But what are you planning to live of being without possessions?
• 1:59:33
  Speaker 1: I haven't thought of this yet, sir. For more than
• 1:59:36
  Speaker 1: three years, I have been without possessions and have never
• 1:59:40
  Speaker 1: thought of what I should live. So you've lived of
• 1:59:44
  Speaker 1: the possessions of others. Presumably this is how it is.
• 1:59:49
  Speaker 1: After all, a merchant also lives of what other people own.
• 1:59:55
  Speaker 1: Well said, but he wouldn't take anything from another person
• 1:59:59
  Speaker 1: for nothing thing He would give his merchandise in return.
• 2:00:04
  Speaker 1: So it seems to be Indeed, everyone takes, everyone gives.
• 2:00:10
  Speaker 1: Such is life. But if you don't mind me asking,
• 2:00:15
  Speaker 1: being without possessions, what would you like to give? Everyone
• 2:00:21
  Speaker 1: gives what he has. A warrior gives strength, the merchant
• 2:00:26
  Speaker 1: gives merchandise, the teacher teachings, the farmer rice, the fisher fish. Yes, indeed,
• 2:00:36
  Speaker 1: and what is it now that you've got to give?
• 2:00:39
  Speaker 1: What is it that you've learned? What you're able to do?
• 2:00:45
  Speaker 1: I can think, I can wait, I can fast. That's everything.
• 2:00:54
  Speaker 1: I believe that's everything. And what's the use of that?
• 2:00:59
  Speaker 1: For example, sample the fasting? What is it good for?
• 2:01:04
  Speaker 1: It is very good, sir. When a person has nothing
• 2:01:07
  Speaker 1: to eat, fasting is the smartest thing he could do. When,
• 2:01:12
  Speaker 1: for example, Sir Arthur hadn't learned to fast, he would
• 2:01:15
  Speaker 1: have to accept any kind of service before this day
• 2:01:18
  Speaker 1: is up, whether it may be with you or wherever,
• 2:01:22
  Speaker 1: because hunger would force him to do so. But like this,
• 2:01:26
  Speaker 1: said Arthur, can wait calmly. He knows no impatience, He
• 2:01:31
  Speaker 1: knows no emergency for a long time. He can allow
• 2:01:35
  Speaker 1: hunger to besiege him and can laugh about it. This, sir,
• 2:01:40
  Speaker 1: is what fasting is good for. You're right, Samana, wait
• 2:01:45
  Speaker 1: for a moment. Kamaswami left the room and returned with
• 2:01:49
  Speaker 1: a scroll, which he handed to his guests while asking
• 2:01:53
  Speaker 1: can you read this? Sad Arthur looked at the scroll,
• 2:01:57
  Speaker 1: on which a sales contract had been written down, and
• 2:02:00
  Speaker 1: began to read out its contents. Excellent, said Kamaswami, And
• 2:02:06
  Speaker 1: would you write something for me on this piece of paper.
• 2:02:10
  Speaker 1: He handed him a piece of paper and a pen,
• 2:02:13
  Speaker 1: and Saddartha wrote and returned the paper. Kamaswami read, writing
• 2:02:19
  Speaker 1: is good. Thinking is better, Being smart is good, Being
• 2:02:24
  Speaker 1: patient is better. It is excellent how you're able to write.
• 2:02:30
  Speaker 1: The merchant praised him. Many a thing we will still
• 2:02:33
  Speaker 1: have to discuss with one another. For today, I'm asking
• 2:02:38
  Speaker 1: you to be my guest and to live in this house.
• 2:02:42
  Speaker 1: Saddartha thanked and accepted, and lived in a dealer's house.
• 2:02:46
  Speaker 1: From now on. Clothes were brought to him and shoes,
• 2:02:51
  Speaker 1: and every day a servant prepared a bath for him.
• 2:02:55
  Speaker 1: Twice a day a plentiful meal was served, but sad
• 2:02:59
  Speaker 1: Arthur only ate once a day, and ate neither meat,
• 2:03:03
  Speaker 1: nor did he drink wine. Kamaswami told him about his trade,
• 2:03:09
  Speaker 1: showed him the merchandise and storage rooms, showed him calculations.
• 2:03:14
  Speaker 1: Saddartha got to know many new things. He heard a
• 2:03:18
  Speaker 1: lot and spoke little, and, thinking of Kamala's words, he
• 2:03:23
  Speaker 1: was never subservient to the merchant, forced him to treat
• 2:03:27
  Speaker 1: him as an equal, yes, even more than an equal.
• 2:03:31
  Speaker 1: Kamaswami conducted his business with care and often with passion,
• 2:03:36
  Speaker 1: but Saddarthur looked upon all this as if it were
• 2:03:40
  Speaker 1: a game, the rules of which he tried hard to
• 2:03:43
  Speaker 1: learn precisely, but the contents of which did not touch
• 2:03:47
  Speaker 1: his heart. He was not in Kamaswami's house for long,
• 2:03:52
  Speaker 1: when he already took part in his landlord's business. But daily,
• 2:03:57
  Speaker 1: at the hour appointed by her, he visited beautiful Kamala,
• 2:04:01
  Speaker 1: wearing pretty clothes, fine shoes, and soon he brought her
• 2:04:06
  Speaker 1: gifts as well. Much he learned from her red a
• 2:04:10
  Speaker 1: smart mouth. Much he learned from her tender supple hand,
• 2:04:16
  Speaker 1: him who was regarding love still a boy, and had
• 2:04:20
  Speaker 1: a tendency to plunge blindly and insatiably into lust, like
• 2:04:25
  Speaker 1: into a bottomless pit. Him. She taught thoroughly, starting from
• 2:04:30
  Speaker 1: the basics, about that school of thought which teaches that
• 2:04:34
  Speaker 1: pleasure cannot be taken without giving pleasure, and that every gesture,
• 2:04:39
  Speaker 1: every caress, every touch, every look, every spot of the body,
• 2:04:44
  Speaker 1: however small it was, had its secret which would bring
• 2:04:48
  Speaker 1: happiness to those who knew about it and unleash it.
• 2:04:53
  Speaker 1: She taught him that lovers must not part from one
• 2:04:55
  Speaker 1: another after celebrating love, without one admiring the without being
• 2:05:01
  Speaker 1: just as defeated as they have been victorious, so that
• 2:05:05
  Speaker 1: with none of them should start feeling fed up or bored,
• 2:05:09
  Speaker 1: or get that evil feeling of having abused or having
• 2:05:13
  Speaker 1: been abused. Wonderful hours he spent with the beautiful and
• 2:05:17
  Speaker 1: smart artist, became her student, her lover, her friend. Here
• 2:05:23
  Speaker 1: with Kamala was the worth and purpose of his present life.
• 2:05:27
  Speaker 1: Knit with the business of Kamaswami, the merchant passed to
• 2:05:32
  Speaker 1: duties of writing important letters and contracts onto him, and
• 2:05:37
  Speaker 1: got into the habit of discussing all important affairs with him.
• 2:05:41
  Speaker 1: He soon saw that Siddarthur knew little about rice and
• 2:05:45
  Speaker 1: wool shipping and trade, but that he acted in a
• 2:05:49
  Speaker 1: fortunate manner, and that Siddartha surpassed him the merchant in
• 2:05:54
  Speaker 1: calmness and equanimity, and in the art of listening and
• 2:05:59
  Speaker 1: deeply understanding previously unknown people. This Brahman, he said to
• 2:06:05
  Speaker 1: a friend, is no proper merchant, and will never be one.
• 2:06:10
  Speaker 1: There is never any passion in his soul when he
• 2:06:14
  Speaker 1: conducts our business. But he has that mysterious quality of
• 2:06:18
  Speaker 1: those people to whom success comes all by itself. Whether
• 2:06:23
  Speaker 1: this may be a good star of his birth, magic,
• 2:06:27
  Speaker 1: or something he has learned amongst the manas he always
• 2:06:31
  Speaker 1: seems to be merely playing with our business affairs. They
• 2:06:35
  Speaker 1: never fully become a part of him, They never rule
• 2:06:39
  Speaker 1: over him. He is never afraid of failure, He is
• 2:06:43
  Speaker 1: never upset by a loss. The friend advised the merchant,
• 2:06:49
  Speaker 1: give him from the business he conducts for you a
• 2:06:52
  Speaker 1: third of the profits, but let him also be liable
• 2:06:56
  Speaker 1: for the same amount of the losses. When there is
• 2:06:59
  Speaker 1: a loss, then he'll become more zealous. Kamaswami followed the advice,
• 2:07:06
  Speaker 1: but Saddarthur cared little about this. When he made a profit,
• 2:07:10
  Speaker 1: he accepted it with equanimity. When he made losses, he
• 2:07:14
  Speaker 1: laughed and said, well, look at this. So this one
• 2:07:18
  Speaker 1: turned out badly. It seemed, indeed, as if he did
• 2:07:23
  Speaker 1: not care about the business. At one time, he traveled
• 2:07:26
  Speaker 1: to a village to buy a large harvest of rice there,
• 2:07:30
  Speaker 1: but when he got there, the rice had already been
• 2:07:33
  Speaker 1: sold to another merchant. Nevertheless, Siddartha stayed for several days
• 2:07:38
  Speaker 1: in that village, treated the farmers for a drink, gave
• 2:07:41
  Speaker 1: copper coins to their children, joined in the celebration of
• 2:07:45
  Speaker 1: a wedding, and returned extremely satisfied from his trip. Kamaswami
• 2:07:50
  Speaker 1: held against him that he had not turned back right away,
• 2:07:54
  Speaker 1: that he had wasted time and money. Siddartha answered, stops scolding,
• 2:08:00
  Speaker 1: dear friend. Nothing was ever achieved by scolding. If a
• 2:08:06
  Speaker 1: loss has occurred, let me bear that loss. I am
• 2:08:10
  Speaker 1: very satisfied with this trip. I've gotten to know many
• 2:08:13
  Speaker 1: kinds of people. A Brahmin has become my friend, children
• 2:08:18
  Speaker 1: have sat on my knees. Farmers have shown me their fields.
• 2:08:22
  Speaker 1: Nobody knew that I was a merchant. That's all very nice,
• 2:08:27
  Speaker 1: exclaimed Kamaswami indignantly. But in fact you are a merchant,
• 2:08:32
  Speaker 1: after all, one ought to think. Ah, might you have
• 2:08:35
  Speaker 1: only traveled for your amusement? Surely, said Arthur laughed. Surely
• 2:08:41
  Speaker 1: I have traveled for my amusement. For what else? I
• 2:08:45
  Speaker 1: have gotten to known people and places. I have received
• 2:08:49
  Speaker 1: kindness and trust. I have found friendship. Look, my dear,
• 2:08:54
  Speaker 1: if I had been Kamaswami, I would have traveled back,
• 2:08:57
  Speaker 1: been annoyed and in a hurry as soon as I
• 2:09:01
  Speaker 1: had seen that my purchase had been rendered impossible, and
• 2:09:04
  Speaker 1: time and money would indeed have been lost. But like this,
• 2:09:09
  Speaker 1: I've had a few good days. I've learned, had joy.
• 2:09:14
  Speaker 1: I've neither harmed myself nor others by annoyance and hastiness.
• 2:09:19
  Speaker 1: And if I'll ever return there again, perhaps to buy
• 2:09:22
  Speaker 1: an upcoming harvest, or for whatever purpose it might be,
• 2:09:26
  Speaker 1: friendly people will receive me in a friendly and happy manner,
• 2:09:30
  Speaker 1: and I will praise myself for not showing any hurry
• 2:09:33
  Speaker 1: and displeasure at that time. So leave it as it
• 2:09:38
  Speaker 1: is my friend, and don't harm yourself by scolding. If
• 2:09:43
  Speaker 1: the day will come when you will see this sir
• 2:09:46
  Speaker 1: Darthur is harming me, then speak a word and Saddartha
• 2:09:50
  Speaker 1: will go on his own path. But until then let's
• 2:09:55
  Speaker 1: be satisfied with one another. Futile were also the merch
• 2:10:00
  Speaker 1: attempts to convince Siddartha that he should eat his bread.
• 2:10:04
  Speaker 1: Saddartha ate his own bread, or rather they both ate
• 2:10:08
  Speaker 1: other people's bread, all people's bread. Saddartha never listened to
• 2:10:13
  Speaker 1: Kamaswami's wiries, and Kamaswami had many wiries, whether there was
• 2:10:19
  Speaker 1: a business deal going on which was in danger of failing,
• 2:10:23
  Speaker 1: or whether a shipment of merchandise seemed to have been
• 2:10:26
  Speaker 1: lost or a debtor seemed to be unable to pay.
• 2:10:29
  Speaker 1: Kamaswami could never convince his partner that it would be
• 2:10:33
  Speaker 1: useful to utter a few words of wiry or anger,
• 2:10:36
  Speaker 1: to have wrinkles on the forehead to sleep badly. When
• 2:10:41
  Speaker 1: one day Kamaswami held against him that he had learned
• 2:10:45
  Speaker 1: everything he knew from him, he replied, would you please
• 2:10:50
  Speaker 1: not kidney with such jokes. What I've learned from you
• 2:10:53
  Speaker 1: is how much a basket of fish costs and how
• 2:10:57
  Speaker 1: much interests can be charged on loan money. These are
• 2:11:01
  Speaker 1: your areas of expertise. I haven't learned to think from you,
• 2:11:05
  Speaker 1: my dear Kamaswami. You ought to be the one seeking
• 2:11:09
  Speaker 1: to learn from me. Indeed, his soul was not with
• 2:11:14
  Speaker 1: the trade. The business was good enough to provide him
• 2:11:17
  Speaker 1: with the money for Kamala, and it earned him much
• 2:11:20
  Speaker 1: more than he needed. Besides, from this, Sir Arthur's interest
• 2:11:25
  Speaker 1: and curiosity was only concerned with the people whose businesses, crafts, worries, pleasures,
• 2:11:32
  Speaker 1: and acts of foolishness used to be as alien and
• 2:11:36
  Speaker 1: distant to him as the moon. However, easily he succeeded
• 2:11:40
  Speaker 1: in talking to all of them, in living with all
• 2:11:43
  Speaker 1: of them, in learning from all of them. He was
• 2:11:47
  Speaker 1: still aware that there was something which separated him from them,
• 2:11:51
  Speaker 1: and this separating factor was him being a Samana. He
• 2:11:57
  Speaker 1: saw mankind going through life in a child like or
• 2:12:01
  Speaker 1: animal like manner, which he loved and also despised. At
• 2:12:05
  Speaker 1: the same time, he saw them toiling, saw them suffering
• 2:12:11
  Speaker 1: and becoming gray for the sake of things which seemed
• 2:12:14
  Speaker 1: to him entirely unworthy of this price for money for
• 2:12:19
  Speaker 1: little pleasures, for being slightly honored. He saw them scolding
• 2:12:24
  Speaker 1: and insulting each other. He saw them complaining about a
• 2:12:27
  Speaker 1: pain at which a samana would only smile, and suffering
• 2:12:32
  Speaker 1: because of deprivations which a samana would not feel. He
• 2:12:37
  Speaker 1: was open to everything these people brought his way. Welcome
• 2:12:42
  Speaker 1: was the merchant who offered him linen for sale. Welcome
• 2:12:46
  Speaker 1: was the debtor who sought another loan. Welcome was the
• 2:12:50
  Speaker 1: beggar who told him for one hour the story of
• 2:12:53
  Speaker 1: his poverty, and who was not half as poor as
• 2:12:57
  Speaker 1: any given Somana. He did not treat the rich foreign
• 2:13:01
  Speaker 1: merchant any different than the servant who shaved him, and
• 2:13:05
  Speaker 1: the street vendor whom he let cheat him out of
• 2:13:08
  Speaker 1: some small change when buying bananas. When Kamaswami came to
• 2:13:13
  Speaker 1: him to complain about his worries or to reproach him
• 2:13:17
  Speaker 1: concerning his business, he listened curiously and happily was puzzled
• 2:13:23
  Speaker 1: by him, tried to understand him, consented that he was
• 2:13:27
  Speaker 1: a little bit right, only as much as he considered indispensable,
• 2:13:33
  Speaker 1: and turned away from him towards the next person who
• 2:13:36
  Speaker 1: would ask for him. And there were many who came
• 2:13:39
  Speaker 1: to him, many to do business with him, many to
• 2:13:43
  Speaker 1: cheat him, many to draw some secret out of him,
• 2:13:47
  Speaker 1: many to appeal to his sympathy, many to get his advice.
• 2:13:52
  Speaker 1: He gave advice, he pitied, he made gifts, He let
• 2:13:57
  Speaker 1: them cheat him a bit. And this entire game, and
• 2:14:01
  Speaker 1: the passion with which all people played this game, occupied
• 2:14:05
  Speaker 1: his thoughts just as much as the gods and Brahmans
• 2:14:09
  Speaker 1: used to occupy them. At times, he felt deep in
• 2:14:13
  Speaker 1: his chest a dying quiet voice which admonished him quietly,
• 2:14:19
  Speaker 1: lamented quietly. He hardly perceived it, And then for an
• 2:14:24
  Speaker 1: hour he became aware of the strange life he was leading,
• 2:14:28
  Speaker 1: of him, doing lots of things which were only a
• 2:14:31
  Speaker 1: game of though being happy and feeling joy at times,
• 2:14:35
  Speaker 1: real life still passing him by and not touching him.
• 2:14:41
  Speaker 1: As a ballplayer plays with his balls. He played with
• 2:14:45
  Speaker 1: his business deals with the people around him, watched them,
• 2:14:50
  Speaker 1: found amusement in them, with his heart, with the source
• 2:14:54
  Speaker 1: of his being, He was not with them. The source
• 2:14:58
  Speaker 1: ran somewhere far away from him, ran and ran invisibly,
• 2:15:04
  Speaker 1: had nothing to do with his life any more. And
• 2:15:08
  Speaker 1: at several times he suddenly became scared on account of
• 2:15:11
  Speaker 1: such thoughts and wished that he would also be gifted
• 2:15:14
  Speaker 1: with the ability to participate in all of this childlike
• 2:15:18
  Speaker 1: naive occupations of the daytime, with passion and with his
• 2:15:22
  Speaker 1: heart really to live, really, to act, really, to enjoy,
• 2:15:28
  Speaker 1: and to live instead of just standing by as a spectator.
• 2:15:34
  Speaker 1: But again and again he came back to beautiful Kamala
• 2:15:38
  Speaker 1: learned the art of love, practiced the cult of lust,
• 2:15:43
  Speaker 1: in which more than anything else, giving and taking becomes one.
• 2:15:48
  Speaker 1: Chatted with her, learned from her, gave her advice, received advice.
• 2:15:55
  Speaker 1: She understood him better than Govinda used to understand him.
• 2:16:00
  Speaker 1: She was more similar to him. Once he said to her,
• 2:16:05
  Speaker 1: you are like me. You are different from most people.
• 2:16:09
  Speaker 1: You are Kamala, nothing else, and inside you there is
• 2:16:14
  Speaker 1: a peace and refuge to which you can go at
• 2:16:17
  Speaker 1: every hour of the day and be at home at
• 2:16:20
  Speaker 1: yourself as I can also do. Few people have this,
• 2:16:26
  Speaker 1: and yet all could have it. Not all people are smart,
• 2:16:31
  Speaker 1: said Kamala. No said, said Arthur. That's not the reason
• 2:16:37
  Speaker 1: why Kamaswami is just as smart as I and still
• 2:16:41
  Speaker 1: has no refuge in himself. Others have it who are
• 2:16:45
  Speaker 1: small children. With respect to their mind. Most people Kamala
• 2:16:50
  Speaker 1: are like a falling leaf which is blown and is
• 2:16:54
  Speaker 1: turning around through the air and wavers and tumbles to
• 2:16:58
  Speaker 1: the ground. But others a few are like stars. They
• 2:17:03
  Speaker 1: go on a fixed course. No wind reaches them. In themselves.
• 2:17:08
  Speaker 1: They have their law and their course. Among all the
• 2:17:12
  Speaker 1: learned men and samanas of which I knew many, there
• 2:17:16
  Speaker 1: was one of this kind, a perfected one. I'll never
• 2:17:20
  Speaker 1: be able to forget him. It is that Gautama, the
• 2:17:24
  Speaker 1: exalted one, who is spreading that teachings. Thousands of followers
• 2:17:29
  Speaker 1: are listening to his teachings every day, follow his instructions
• 2:17:34
  Speaker 1: every hour. But they are all falling leaves, not in themselves.
• 2:17:40
  Speaker 1: They have teachings and a law. Kamala looked at him
• 2:17:44
  Speaker 1: with a smile. Again, you're talking about him, she said. Again,
• 2:17:50
  Speaker 1: you're having a samana's thoughts. Saddarthur said nothing, and they
• 2:17:56
  Speaker 1: played the game of love, one of the thirty or
• 2:17:59
  Speaker 1: forty different games. Kamala knew her body was flexible, like
• 2:18:04
  Speaker 1: that of a jaguar, and like the beau of a hunter.
• 2:18:07
  Speaker 1: He who had learned from her how to make love,
• 2:18:11
  Speaker 1: was knowledgeable of many forms of lust, many secrets for
• 2:18:17
  Speaker 1: a long time. She played with Siddartha, enticed him, rejected him,
• 2:18:22
  Speaker 1: forced him, embraced him, enjoyed his masterful skills until he
• 2:18:29
  Speaker 1: was defeated and rested, exhausted by her side. The Courtizan
• 2:18:35
  Speaker 1: bent over him, took a long look at his face,
• 2:18:39
  Speaker 1: at his eyes, which had grown tired. You are the
• 2:18:43
  Speaker 1: best lover, she said thoughtfully. I ever saw You're stronger
• 2:18:49
  Speaker 1: than others, more supple, more willing. You've learned my art well,
• 2:18:54
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. At some time, when I'll be older, I'll
• 2:18:59
  Speaker 1: want to bear your ChIL child. And yet, my dear,
• 2:19:02
  Speaker 1: you've remained a samana, And yet you do not love me.
• 2:19:06
  Speaker 1: You love nobody, isn't it? So? It might very well be? So,
• 2:19:13
  Speaker 1: said Arthur, said tiredly, I am like you. You also
• 2:19:18
  Speaker 1: do not love. How else could you practice love as
• 2:19:21
  Speaker 1: a craft. Perhaps people of our kind can't love the
• 2:19:27
  Speaker 1: childlike people can. That's their secret. End of chapter six,
• 2:19:35
  Speaker 1: Chapter seven, Sansara. For a long time, sadd Arthur had
• 2:19:41
  Speaker 1: lived the life of the world and of lust, though
• 2:19:45
  Speaker 1: without being a part of it. His senses, which he
• 2:19:49
  Speaker 1: had killed off in hot years as a samana, had
• 2:19:52
  Speaker 1: awoken again. He had tasted riches, had tasted lust, had
• 2:19:57
  Speaker 1: tasted power. Never the less, he had still remained in
• 2:20:01
  Speaker 1: his heart for a long time a Samana. Kamala, being smart,
• 2:20:07
  Speaker 1: had realized this quite right. It was still the art
• 2:20:11
  Speaker 1: of thinking, of waiting, of fasting which guided his life. Still,
• 2:20:17
  Speaker 1: the people of the world, the childlike people, had remained
• 2:20:22
  Speaker 1: alien to him, as he was alien to them. Years passed,
• 2:20:28
  Speaker 1: surrounded by the good life, Saddarthur hardly felt them fading away.
• 2:20:33
  Speaker 1: He had become rich for quite a while. He possessed
• 2:20:36
  Speaker 1: a house of his own and his own servants, and
• 2:20:39
  Speaker 1: a garden before the city by the river. The people
• 2:20:43
  Speaker 1: liked him. They came to him whenever they needed money
• 2:20:46
  Speaker 1: or advice. But there was no one close to him
• 2:20:50
  Speaker 1: except Kamala. That high, bright state of being awake, which
• 2:20:56
  Speaker 1: he had experienced that one time at the height of
• 2:20:59
  Speaker 1: his youth, in those days after Gautama's sermon, after the
• 2:21:03
  Speaker 1: separation from Govinda, that tense expectation, that proud state of
• 2:21:10
  Speaker 1: standing alone without teachings and without teachers, that supple willingness
• 2:21:16
  Speaker 1: to listen to the divine voice in his own heart,
• 2:21:19
  Speaker 1: had slowly become a memory had been fleeting, distant and quiet,
• 2:21:25
  Speaker 1: the Holy source murmured, which used to be near, which
• 2:21:29
  Speaker 1: used to murmur within himself. Nevertheless, many things he had
• 2:21:35
  Speaker 1: learned from the samanas he had learned from Gautama, he
• 2:21:39
  Speaker 1: had learned from his father, the Brahman, had remained within
• 2:21:42
  Speaker 1: him for a long time afterwards, moderate living, joy of thinking,
• 2:21:48
  Speaker 1: hours of meditation, secret knowledge of the self and of
• 2:21:53
  Speaker 1: his eternal entity, which is neither body nor consciousness. Many
• 2:22:00
  Speaker 1: part of this he still had, but one part after
• 2:22:03
  Speaker 1: another had been submerged and had gathered dust. Just as
• 2:22:08
  Speaker 1: a potter's wheel, once it has been set in motion,
• 2:22:12
  Speaker 1: will keep on turning for a long time and only
• 2:22:15
  Speaker 1: slowly lose its vigor and come to a stop. Thus
• 2:22:19
  Speaker 1: Siddartha's soul had kept on turning the wheel of asceticism,
• 2:22:24
  Speaker 1: the wheel of thinking, the wheel of differentiation, for a
• 2:22:28
  Speaker 1: long time, still turning. But it turned slowly and hesitantly,
• 2:22:34
  Speaker 1: and was close to coming to a standstill. Slowly, like
• 2:22:40
  Speaker 1: humidity entering the dying stem of a tree, filling it
• 2:22:44
  Speaker 1: slowly and making it rot, the world and sloth had
• 2:22:50
  Speaker 1: entered Siddartha's soul. Slowly, It filled his soul, made it heavy,
• 2:22:57
  Speaker 1: made it tired put it to sleep. On the other hand,
• 2:23:01
  Speaker 1: his senses had become alive. There was much they had learned,
• 2:23:06
  Speaker 1: much they had experienced. Sair Arthur had learned to trade,
• 2:23:11
  Speaker 1: to use his power over people, to enjoy himself with
• 2:23:15
  Speaker 1: a woman. He had learned to wear beautiful clothes, to
• 2:23:19
  Speaker 1: give orders to servants, to bathe in perfumed waters. He
• 2:23:24
  Speaker 1: had learned to eat tenderly and carefully prepared food, even fish,
• 2:23:30
  Speaker 1: even meat and poultry, spices and sweets, and to drink wine,
• 2:23:35
  Speaker 1: which causes sloth and forgetfulness. He had learned to play
• 2:23:40
  Speaker 1: with dice and on a chess board, to watch dancing girls,
• 2:23:45
  Speaker 1: to have himself carried about in a sedan chair, to
• 2:23:48
  Speaker 1: sleep on a soft bed. But he still had felt
• 2:23:53
  Speaker 1: different from and superior to the others. All was. He
• 2:23:57
  Speaker 1: had watched them with some mockery, some mocking disdain, with
• 2:24:02
  Speaker 1: the same disdain which a samana constantly feels for the
• 2:24:06
  Speaker 1: people of the world. When Kamaswami was ailing, when he
• 2:24:11
  Speaker 1: was annoyed, when he felt insulted, when he was vexed
• 2:24:15
  Speaker 1: by his wiries as a merchant, Siddartha had always watched
• 2:24:19
  Speaker 1: it with mockery, just slowly and imperceptibly, as the harvest
• 2:24:26
  Speaker 1: seasons and rainy seasons passed by, his mockery had become
• 2:24:31
  Speaker 1: more tired, his superiority had become more quiet, just slowly,
• 2:24:37
  Speaker 1: among his growing riches, Siddartha had assumed something of the
• 2:24:41
  Speaker 1: childlike people's ways for himself, something of their childlikeness and
• 2:24:47
  Speaker 1: of their fearfulness. And yet he envied them, envied them
• 2:24:53
  Speaker 1: just the more, the more similar he became to them.
• 2:24:57
  Speaker 1: He envied them for the one thing that was miss
• 2:25:00
  Speaker 1: from him, and that they had, the importance they were
• 2:25:04
  Speaker 1: able to attach to their lives, the amount of passion
• 2:25:07
  Speaker 1: in their joys and fears, the fearful but sweet happiness
• 2:25:12
  Speaker 1: of being constantly in love. These people were all of
• 2:25:17
  Speaker 1: the time in love with themselves, with women, with their children,
• 2:25:22
  Speaker 1: with honors or money, with plans or hopes. But he
• 2:25:26
  Speaker 1: did not learn this from them. This out of all things,
• 2:25:30
  Speaker 1: this joy of a child, and this foolishness of a child.
• 2:25:35
  Speaker 1: He learned from them, out of all things, the unpleasant
• 2:25:39
  Speaker 1: ones which he himself despised. It happened more and more
• 2:25:44
  Speaker 1: often that in the morning, after having had company the
• 2:25:48
  Speaker 1: night before, he stayed in bed for a long time,
• 2:25:51
  Speaker 1: felt unable to think and tired. It happened that he
• 2:25:56
  Speaker 1: became angry and impatient when Kamaswami bored him with his worries.
• 2:26:02
  Speaker 1: It happened that he laughed just too loud when he
• 2:26:05
  Speaker 1: lost a game of dice. His face was still smarter
• 2:26:10
  Speaker 1: and more spiritual than others, but it rarely laughed and
• 2:26:14
  Speaker 1: assumed one after another those features which are so often
• 2:26:18
  Speaker 1: found in the faces of rich people, those features of discontent,
• 2:26:24
  Speaker 1: of sickliness, of ill humor, of sloth, of a lack
• 2:26:28
  Speaker 1: of love. Slowly, the disease of the soul which rich
• 2:26:33
  Speaker 1: people have grabbed hold of him like a veil, like
• 2:26:39
  Speaker 1: a thin mist. Tiredness came over, said Arthur, slowly, getting
• 2:26:44
  Speaker 1: a bit denser every day, a bit murkier every month,
• 2:26:49
  Speaker 1: a bit heavier every year. As a new dress becomes
• 2:26:53
  Speaker 1: old in time, loses its beautiful color in time, gets stains,
• 2:26:58
  Speaker 1: gets wrinkles, gets worn off at the seams, and starts
• 2:27:03
  Speaker 1: to show threadbare spots here and there. Thus, said Arthur's
• 2:27:08
  Speaker 1: new life, which he had started after his separation from Govinda,
• 2:27:13
  Speaker 1: had grown old, lost color and splendor as the years
• 2:27:17
  Speaker 1: passed by, was gathering wrinkles and stains, and hidden at bottom,
• 2:27:23
  Speaker 1: already showing its ugliness. Here and there, disappointment and disgust
• 2:27:28
  Speaker 1: were waiting, and hidden at bottom, already showing its ugliness.
• 2:27:33
  Speaker 1: Here and there, disappointment and disgust were waiting. Sir Arthur
• 2:27:39
  Speaker 1: did not notice it. He only noticed that this bright
• 2:27:43
  Speaker 1: and reliable voice inside of him, which had awoken in
• 2:27:47
  Speaker 1: him at that time and had ever guided him in
• 2:27:50
  Speaker 1: his best times, had become silent. He had been captured
• 2:27:56
  Speaker 1: by the world by lust, covetousness, and finally also by
• 2:28:02
  Speaker 1: that vice which he had used to despise and mock
• 2:28:05
  Speaker 1: them most as the most foolish one of all vices. Greed, property, possessions,
• 2:28:14
  Speaker 1: and riches also had finally captured him. They were no
• 2:28:18
  Speaker 1: longer a game, and trifles to him had become a
• 2:28:22
  Speaker 1: shackle and a burden. In a strange and devious way,
• 2:28:27
  Speaker 1: Siddartha had gotten into this final and most base of
• 2:28:31
  Speaker 1: all dependencies by means of the game of dice. It
• 2:28:35
  Speaker 1: was since that time, when he had stopped being a
• 2:28:37
  Speaker 1: somana in his heart, that Siddarthur began to play the
• 2:28:41
  Speaker 1: game for money and precious things which he at other
• 2:28:45
  Speaker 1: times only joined with a smile and casually, as a
• 2:28:49
  Speaker 1: custom of the childlike people, with an increasing rage and passion.
• 2:28:55
  Speaker 1: He was a feared gambler. Few dared to take him on,
• 2:28:59
  Speaker 1: so high and audacious were his stakes. He played the
• 2:29:03
  Speaker 1: game due to a pain of his heart, losing and
• 2:29:07
  Speaker 1: wasting his wretched money in the game that brought him
• 2:29:10
  Speaker 1: an angry joy. In no other way could he demonstrate
• 2:29:14
  Speaker 1: his disdain for wealth, the merchant's false god more clearly
• 2:29:19
  Speaker 1: and more mockingly. Thus he gambled with high stakes and mercilessly,
• 2:29:25
  Speaker 1: hating himself, mocking himself. One thousands, threw away, thousands, lost money,
• 2:29:32
  Speaker 1: lost jewelry, lost a house in the country, won again,
• 2:29:37
  Speaker 1: lost again. That fear, that terrible and petrifying fear which
• 2:29:43
  Speaker 1: he had felt while he was rolling the dice, while
• 2:29:46
  Speaker 1: he was worried about losing high stakes, that fear he
• 2:29:50
  Speaker 1: loved and sought to always renew it, always increase it,
• 2:29:55
  Speaker 1: always get it to a slightly higher level. For in
• 2:29:59
  Speaker 1: this feeling alone, he still felt something like happiness, something
• 2:30:04
  Speaker 1: like an intoxication, something like an elevated form of life.
• 2:30:09
  Speaker 1: In the midst of his saturated, lukewarm, dull life, and
• 2:30:14
  Speaker 1: after each big loss, his mind was set on new riches,
• 2:30:19
  Speaker 1: pursued the trade more zealously, forced his debtors more strictly
• 2:30:24
  Speaker 1: to pay, because he wanted to continue gambling, He wanted
• 2:30:28
  Speaker 1: to continue squandering, continue demonstrating his disdain of wealth. Saddarthur
• 2:30:35
  Speaker 1: lost his calmness when losses occurred, lost his patience when
• 2:30:40
  Speaker 1: he was not paid on time, lost his kindness towards beggars,
• 2:30:45
  Speaker 1: lost his disposition for giving away and loaning money to
• 2:30:48
  Speaker 1: those who petitioned him. He who gambled away tens of
• 2:30:53
  Speaker 1: thousands at one roll of the dice and laughed at it,
• 2:30:57
  Speaker 1: became more strict and more petty in his bay business,
• 2:31:01
  Speaker 1: occasionally dreaming at night about money, and whenever he woke
• 2:31:06
  Speaker 1: up from this ugly spell, whenever he found his face
• 2:31:09
  Speaker 1: in the mirror at the bedroom's wall to have aged
• 2:31:13
  Speaker 1: and become more ugly, whenever embarrassment and disgust came over him,
• 2:31:19
  Speaker 1: he continued fleeing, fleeing into a new game, fleeing into
• 2:31:24
  Speaker 1: a numbing of his mind brought on by sex by wine,
• 2:31:29
  Speaker 1: and from there he fled back into the urge to
• 2:31:32
  Speaker 1: pile up and obtain possessions in this pointless cycle, he
• 2:31:37
  Speaker 1: ran growing tired, growing old, growing ill. Then the time
• 2:31:45
  Speaker 1: came when a dream warned him. He had spent the
• 2:31:49
  Speaker 1: hours of the evening with Kamala in her beautiful pleasure garden.
• 2:31:53
  Speaker 1: They had been sitting under the trees, talking, and Kamala
• 2:31:57
  Speaker 1: had said thoughtful words, words behind which a sadness and
• 2:32:01
  Speaker 1: a tiredness lay hidden. She had asked him to tell
• 2:32:05
  Speaker 1: her about Gautama, and could not hear enough of him,
• 2:32:10
  Speaker 1: How clear his eyes, how still and beautiful his mouth,
• 2:32:14
  Speaker 1: how kind his smile, how peaceful his walk had been.
• 2:32:19
  Speaker 1: For a long time, he had to tell her about
• 2:32:21
  Speaker 1: the exalted Buddha, and Kamala had sighed and had said,
• 2:32:26
  Speaker 1: one day, perhaps soon, I'll also follow that Buddha. I'll
• 2:32:32
  Speaker 1: give him my pleasure garden for a gift, and take
• 2:32:35
  Speaker 1: my refuge in his teachings. But after this, she had
• 2:32:39
  Speaker 1: aroused him and had tied him to her in the
• 2:32:42
  Speaker 1: act of making love, with painful fervor, biting and in tears,
• 2:32:47
  Speaker 1: as if once more she wanted to squeeze the last
• 2:32:51
  Speaker 1: sweet drop out of this vain, fleeting pleasure. Never before
• 2:32:57
  Speaker 1: it had become so strangely clear to Siddartha, how closely
• 2:33:02
  Speaker 1: lust was akin to death. Then he had lain by
• 2:33:08
  Speaker 1: her side, and Kamala's face had been close to him,
• 2:33:12
  Speaker 1: and under her eyes, and next to the corners of
• 2:33:15
  Speaker 1: her mouth. He had, as clearly as never before, read
• 2:33:18
  Speaker 1: a fearful inscription, an inscription of small lines, of slight grooves,
• 2:33:25
  Speaker 1: an inscription reminiscent of autumn and old age. Just as
• 2:33:31
  Speaker 1: Siddhartha himself, who was only in his forties, had already
• 2:33:35
  Speaker 1: noticed here and there gray hairs among his black ones.
• 2:33:41
  Speaker 1: Tiredness was written on Carmala's beautiful face, Tiredness from walking
• 2:33:46
  Speaker 1: a long path which has no happy destination, tiredness and
• 2:33:51
  Speaker 1: the beginning of withering and concealed, still unsaid, perhaps not
• 2:33:56
  Speaker 1: even conscious, anxiety, fear of old age, fear of the autumn,
• 2:34:03
  Speaker 1: fear of having to die with a sigh. He had
• 2:34:08
  Speaker 1: bid his farewell to her, the soul full of reluctance
• 2:34:12
  Speaker 1: and full of concealed anxiety. Then Sir Arthur had spent
• 2:34:17
  Speaker 1: the night in his house with dancing girls and wine,
• 2:34:21
  Speaker 1: had acted as if he were superior to them towards
• 2:34:24
  Speaker 1: the fellow members of his caste, though this was no
• 2:34:28
  Speaker 1: longer true. Had drunk much wine and gone to bed
• 2:34:32
  Speaker 1: a long time after midnight, being tired and yet excited,
• 2:34:37
  Speaker 1: close to weeping and despair, and had for a long
• 2:34:41
  Speaker 1: time sought to sleep in vain, his heart full of
• 2:34:44
  Speaker 1: misery which he thought he could not bear any longer,
• 2:34:49
  Speaker 1: full of a disgust which he felt penetrating his entire body,
• 2:34:54
  Speaker 1: like the lukewarm, repulsive taste of the wine, the just
• 2:34:58
  Speaker 1: too sweet, dull music, the just too soft smile of
• 2:35:03
  Speaker 1: the dancing girls, the just too sweet scent of their
• 2:35:08
  Speaker 1: hair and breasts. But more than by anything else, he
• 2:35:13
  Speaker 1: was disgusted by himself, by his perfumed hair, by the
• 2:35:18
  Speaker 1: smell of wine from his mouth, by the flabby, tiredness
• 2:35:23
  Speaker 1: and listlessness of his skin, like when someone who has
• 2:35:26
  Speaker 1: eaten and drunk far too much vomits it back up
• 2:35:30
  Speaker 1: again with agonizing pain, and is nevertheless glad about the relief. Thus,
• 2:35:37
  Speaker 1: this sleepless man wished to free himself of these pleasures,
• 2:35:42
  Speaker 1: these habits, and all of this pointless life, and himself
• 2:35:47
  Speaker 1: in an immense burst of disgust. Not until the light
• 2:35:52
  Speaker 1: of the morning and the beginning of the first activities
• 2:35:55
  Speaker 1: in the street before his city house, he had slightly
• 2:35:58
  Speaker 1: fallen asleep, had found for a few moments a half consciousness,
• 2:36:03
  Speaker 1: a hint of sleep. In these moments he had a dream.
• 2:36:09
  Speaker 1: Kamala owned a small rare singing bird in a golden cage.
• 2:36:14
  Speaker 1: Of this bird, he dreamt. He dreamt this bird had
• 2:36:19
  Speaker 1: become mute, who at other times always used to sing
• 2:36:23
  Speaker 1: in the morning. And since this arose his attention, he
• 2:36:27
  Speaker 1: stepped in front of the cage and looked inside. There
• 2:36:32
  Speaker 1: the small bird was dead and lay stiff on the ground.
• 2:36:37
  Speaker 1: He took it out, weighed it for a moment in
• 2:36:39
  Speaker 1: his hand, and then threw it away out in the street.
• 2:36:44
  Speaker 1: And in the same moment he felt terribly shocked and
• 2:36:48
  Speaker 1: his heart hurt, as if he had thrown away from
• 2:36:51
  Speaker 1: himself all value and everything good by throwing out this
• 2:36:56
  Speaker 1: dead bird. Starting up for the stream, he felt encompassed
• 2:37:02
  Speaker 1: by a deep sadness worthless. So it seemed to him
• 2:37:06
  Speaker 1: worthless and pointless was the way he had been going
• 2:37:10
  Speaker 1: through life. Nothing which was alive, nothing which was in
• 2:37:14
  Speaker 1: some way delicious or worth keeping, he had left in
• 2:37:18
  Speaker 1: his hands alone. He stood there and empty, like a
• 2:37:22
  Speaker 1: castaway on the shore, with a gloomy mind, said Arthur
• 2:37:28
  Speaker 1: went to the pleasure garden he owned, locked the gate,
• 2:37:32
  Speaker 1: sat down under a mango tree, felt death in his
• 2:37:36
  Speaker 1: heart and horror in his chest. Sat and sensed how
• 2:37:41
  Speaker 1: everything died in him, withered in him, came to an
• 2:37:45
  Speaker 1: end in him. By and bye. He gathered his thoughts
• 2:37:50
  Speaker 1: and in his mind. He once again went the entire
• 2:37:53
  Speaker 1: path of his life, starting with the first days he
• 2:37:56
  Speaker 1: could remember. When was there ever a time when he
• 2:38:01
  Speaker 1: had experienced happiness, felt a true bliss? Oh, yes, several
• 2:38:07
  Speaker 1: times he had experienced such a thing in his years
• 2:38:10
  Speaker 1: as a boy. He has had a taste of it.
• 2:38:13
  Speaker 1: When he had obtained praise from the Brahmans, he had
• 2:38:15
  Speaker 1: felt it in his heart. There is a path in
• 2:38:19
  Speaker 1: front of the one who has distinguished himself in the
• 2:38:22
  Speaker 1: recitation of the Holy verses, in the dispute with the
• 2:38:26
  Speaker 1: learned ones, as an assistant in the offerings. Then he
• 2:38:31
  Speaker 1: had felt it in his heart, there is a path
• 2:38:34
  Speaker 1: in front of you. You are destined for the gods
• 2:38:38
  Speaker 1: are awaiting you. And again, as a young man, when
• 2:38:42
  Speaker 1: the ever rising upward, fleeing goal of all thinking had
• 2:38:47
  Speaker 1: ripped him out of and up from the multitude of
• 2:38:51
  Speaker 1: those seeking the same goal, when he wrestled in pain
• 2:38:55
  Speaker 1: for the purpose of Brahman, when every obtained knowledge only
• 2:39:00
  Speaker 1: kindled new thirst in him. Then again he had, in
• 2:39:04
  Speaker 1: the midst of the thirst, in the midst of the pain,
• 2:39:07
  Speaker 1: felt this very same thing, go on, go on, you
• 2:39:12
  Speaker 1: are called upon. He had heard this voice when he
• 2:39:16
  Speaker 1: had left his home and had chosen the life of
• 2:39:19
  Speaker 1: a somana, and again when he had gone away from
• 2:39:23
  Speaker 1: the somanas to that perfected one, and also when he
• 2:39:27
  Speaker 1: had gone away from him to the uncertain. For how
• 2:39:31
  Speaker 1: long had he not heard this voice anymore? For how
• 2:39:34
  Speaker 1: long had he reached no height anymore? How even and
• 2:39:38
  Speaker 1: dull was the manner in which his path had passed
• 2:39:41
  Speaker 1: through life, for many long years, without a high goal,
• 2:39:46
  Speaker 1: without thirst, without elevation, content with small, lustful pleasures, and
• 2:39:53
  Speaker 1: yet never satisfied. For all of these many years, without
• 2:39:59
  Speaker 1: knowing it himself, he had tried hard and long to
• 2:40:02
  Speaker 1: become a man like those many, like those children. And
• 2:40:07
  Speaker 1: in all this his life had been much more miserable
• 2:40:10
  Speaker 1: and poorer than theirs. And their goals were not his
• 2:40:14
  Speaker 1: nor their worries. After all, that entire world of the
• 2:40:19
  Speaker 1: Kamaswami people had only been a game to him, a
• 2:40:23
  Speaker 1: dance he would watch a comedy. Only Kamala had been dear,
• 2:40:29
  Speaker 1: had been valuable to him. But was she still thus?
• 2:40:34
  Speaker 1: Did he still need her? Or she him? Did they
• 2:40:39
  Speaker 1: not play a game without ending? Was it necessary to
• 2:40:43
  Speaker 1: live for this? No? It was not necessary. The name
• 2:40:49
  Speaker 1: of this game was Sansara, a game for children, A
• 2:40:54
  Speaker 1: game which was perhaps enjoyable to play once, twice, ten times,
• 2:41:00
  Speaker 1: but forever and ever over again, then, said Darthur. Knew
• 2:41:06
  Speaker 1: that the game was over, that he could not play
• 2:41:09
  Speaker 1: it any more. Shivers ran over his body, inside of him,
• 2:41:15
  Speaker 1: so he felt something had died. That entire day, he
• 2:41:19
  Speaker 1: sat under the mango tree, thinking of his father, thinking
• 2:41:23
  Speaker 1: of Govinda, thinking of Gotama. Did he have to leave
• 2:41:28
  Speaker 1: them to become a kamaswami. He still sat there when
• 2:41:32
  Speaker 1: the night had fallen. When looking up he caught sight
• 2:41:36
  Speaker 1: of the stars, he thought, here, I'm sitting under my
• 2:41:41
  Speaker 1: mango tree, in my pleasure garden. He smiled a little.
• 2:41:46
  Speaker 1: Was it really necessary? Was it right? Was it not
• 2:41:49
  Speaker 1: a foolish game? That he owned a mango tree, that
• 2:41:53
  Speaker 1: he owned a garden? He also put an end to this,
• 2:41:57
  Speaker 1: This also died in him. He rose bid his farewell
• 2:42:02
  Speaker 1: to the mango tree, his farewell to the pleasure garden.
• 2:42:06
  Speaker 1: Since he had been without food this day, he felt
• 2:42:09
  Speaker 1: strong hunger and thought of his house in the city,
• 2:42:12
  Speaker 1: of his chamber and bed, of the table with the
• 2:42:15
  Speaker 1: meals on it. He smiled tiredly, shook himself and bid
• 2:42:20
  Speaker 1: his farewell to these things. In the same hour of
• 2:42:25
  Speaker 1: the night, Siddartha left his garden, left the city, and
• 2:42:29
  Speaker 1: never came back. For a long time, Kamaswami had people
• 2:42:34
  Speaker 1: look for him, thinking that he had fallen into the
• 2:42:37
  Speaker 1: hands of robbers. Kamala had no one look for him.
• 2:42:42
  Speaker 1: When she was told that Siddartha had disappeared, she was
• 2:42:45
  Speaker 1: not astonished, did she not always expect it? Was he
• 2:42:50
  Speaker 1: not a samana, a man who was at home nowhere,
• 2:42:54
  Speaker 1: a pilgrim, And most of all, she had felt this
• 2:42:58
  Speaker 1: the last time they had been together, and she was happy,
• 2:43:02
  Speaker 1: in spite of all the pain of the loss, that
• 2:43:06
  Speaker 1: she had pulled him so affectionately to her heart for
• 2:43:09
  Speaker 1: this last time, that she had felt one more time
• 2:43:14
  Speaker 1: to be so completely possessed and penetrated by him. When
• 2:43:19
  Speaker 1: she received the first news of Siddartha's disappearance, she went
• 2:43:23
  Speaker 1: to the window where she held a rare singing bird
• 2:43:27
  Speaker 1: captive in a golden cage. She opened the door of
• 2:43:31
  Speaker 1: the cage, took the bird out, and let it fly.
• 2:43:36
  Speaker 1: For a long time, she gazed after it, the flying bird.
• 2:43:41
  Speaker 1: From this day on she received no more visitors and
• 2:43:45
  Speaker 1: kept her house locked. But after some time she became
• 2:43:49
  Speaker 1: aware that she was pregnant from the last time she
• 2:43:52
  Speaker 1: was together with Sir Arthur. End of chapter seven, Chapter eight,
• 2:44:00
  Speaker 1: by the river, sid Arthur walked through the forest, was
• 2:44:05
  Speaker 1: already far from the city, and knew nothing but that
• 2:44:09
  Speaker 1: one thing, that there was no going back for him,
• 2:44:13
  Speaker 1: that this life as he had lived it for many
• 2:44:16
  Speaker 1: years until now was over and done away with, and
• 2:44:21
  Speaker 1: that he had tasted all of it, sucked everything out
• 2:44:24
  Speaker 1: of it until he was disgusted with it. Dead was
• 2:44:29
  Speaker 1: the singing bird he had dreamt of. Dead was the
• 2:44:32
  Speaker 1: bird in his heart. Deeply he had been entangled in Sansara.
• 2:44:38
  Speaker 1: He had sucked up disgust and death from all sides
• 2:44:42
  Speaker 1: into his body, like a sponge that sucks up water
• 2:44:46
  Speaker 1: until it is full and full. He was full of
• 2:44:50
  Speaker 1: the feeling of being sick of it, full of misery,
• 2:44:55
  Speaker 1: full of death. There was nothing left in this world
• 2:44:59
  Speaker 1: which could have did him, given him joy, given him comfort. Passionately,
• 2:45:05
  Speaker 1: he wished to know nothing about himself anymore, to have rest,
• 2:45:10
  Speaker 1: to be dead. If there was only a lightning bolt
• 2:45:13
  Speaker 1: to strike him dead, if there was only a tiger
• 2:45:17
  Speaker 1: to devour him, if there was only a wine a
• 2:45:20
  Speaker 1: poison which could numb his senses, bring him forgetfulness and sleep,
• 2:45:26
  Speaker 1: and no awakening from that. Was there still any kind
• 2:45:30
  Speaker 1: of filth? He had not soiled himself with a sin
• 2:45:34
  Speaker 1: or foolish act, He had not committed a dreariness of
• 2:45:38
  Speaker 1: the soul. He had not brought upon himself. Was it
• 2:45:43
  Speaker 1: still at all possible to be alive? Was it possible
• 2:45:47
  Speaker 1: to breathe in again and again, to breathe out, to
• 2:45:51
  Speaker 1: feel hunger, to eat again, to sleep again, to sleep
• 2:45:55
  Speaker 1: with a woman again? Was this cycle not exhausted and
• 2:46:00
  Speaker 1: brought to a conclusion for him? Sird Arthur reached the
• 2:46:04
  Speaker 1: large river in the forest, the same river over which,
• 2:46:08
  Speaker 1: a long time ago, when he had still been a
• 2:46:10
  Speaker 1: young man and came from the town of Gautama, the
• 2:46:14
  Speaker 1: ferryman had conducted him by this river. He stopped hesitatingly.
• 2:46:20
  Speaker 1: He stood at the bank. Tiredness and hunger had weakened him,
• 2:46:25
  Speaker 1: and whatever he should walk on, wherever to to whichever goal, No,
• 2:46:32
  Speaker 1: there were no more goals. There was nothing left but
• 2:46:35
  Speaker 1: the deep, painful yearning to shake off this whole, desolate dream,
• 2:46:41
  Speaker 1: to spit out this stale wine, to put an end
• 2:46:44
  Speaker 1: to this miserable and shameful life. A hang bent over
• 2:46:51
  Speaker 1: the bank of the river, a coconut tree. Sir Arthur
• 2:46:54
  Speaker 1: leaned against its trunk with his shoulder, embraced the trunk
• 2:46:58
  Speaker 1: with one arm, and looked down into the green water
• 2:47:01
  Speaker 1: which ran and ran under him. Looked down and found
• 2:47:04
  Speaker 1: himself to be entirely filled with the wish to go
• 2:47:08
  Speaker 1: and to drown in these waters. A frightening emptiness was
• 2:47:13
  Speaker 1: reflected back at him by the water, answering to the
• 2:47:16
  Speaker 1: terrible emptiness in his soul. Yes, he had reached the end.
• 2:47:22
  Speaker 1: There was nothing left for him except to annihilate himself,
• 2:47:26
  Speaker 1: except to smash the failure into which he had shaped
• 2:47:29
  Speaker 1: his life, to throw it away before the feet of
• 2:47:32
  Speaker 1: mockingly laughing gods. This was the great vomiting he had
• 2:47:38
  Speaker 1: longed for. Death. The smashing to bits of the form
• 2:47:42
  Speaker 1: he hated let him be food for fishes. This dog,
• 2:47:46
  Speaker 1: said Arthur, this lunatic, this depraved and rotten body, this
• 2:47:51
  Speaker 1: weakened and abused soul. Let him be food for fishes
• 2:47:55
  Speaker 1: and crocodiles. Let him be chopped to bits by the demons.
• 2:48:01
  Speaker 1: With a distorted face, he stared into the water, saw
• 2:48:05
  Speaker 1: the reflection of his face, and spit at it. In
• 2:48:09
  Speaker 1: deep tiredness, he took his arm away from the trunk
• 2:48:12
  Speaker 1: of the tree and turned a bit in order to
• 2:48:14
  Speaker 1: let himself fall straight down, in order to finally drown.
• 2:48:19
  Speaker 1: With his eyes closed, he slipped towards death. Then out
• 2:48:25
  Speaker 1: of remote areas of his soul, out of past times
• 2:48:29
  Speaker 1: of his now weary life, a sound stirred up. It
• 2:48:34
  Speaker 1: was a word, a syllable, which he, without thinking, with
• 2:48:39
  Speaker 1: a slurred voice, spoke to himself, the old word, which
• 2:48:44
  Speaker 1: is the beginning and the end of all prayers of
• 2:48:47
  Speaker 1: the Brahmans, the holy Olm, which roughly means that what
• 2:48:53
  Speaker 1: is perfect or the completion. And in the moment when
• 2:48:59
  Speaker 1: the sound of Olm touched Siddarthur's ear, his dormant spirit
• 2:49:04
  Speaker 1: suddenly woke up and realized the foolishness of his actions.
• 2:49:09
  Speaker 1: Sad Arthur was deeply shocked. So this was how things
• 2:49:14
  Speaker 1: were with him. So doomed was he so much? Had
• 2:49:17
  Speaker 1: he lost his way and was forsaken by all knowledge?
• 2:49:22
  Speaker 1: That he had been able to seek death, That this wish,
• 2:49:25
  Speaker 1: this wish of a child, had been able to grow
• 2:49:28
  Speaker 1: up in him, to find rest by annihilating his body.
• 2:49:34
  Speaker 1: What all agony of these recent times, all sobering realizations,
• 2:49:40
  Speaker 1: all desperation, had not brought about. This was brought on
• 2:49:45
  Speaker 1: by this moment. When the Olm entered his consciousness, he
• 2:49:50
  Speaker 1: became aware of himself, in his misery and in his error, Olm.
• 2:49:57
  Speaker 1: He spoke to himself Olm, and again he knew about Brahman,
• 2:50:03
  Speaker 1: knew about the indestructibility of life, knew about all that
• 2:50:07
  Speaker 1: is divine, which he had forgotten. But this was only
• 2:50:12
  Speaker 1: a moment. Flash By the foot of the cocoanut tree,
• 2:50:16
  Speaker 1: Sir Arthur collapsed, struck down by tiredness, mumbling om placed
• 2:50:23
  Speaker 1: his head on the root of the tree and fell
• 2:50:26
  Speaker 1: into a deep sleep. Deep was his sleep, and without dreams.
• 2:50:33
  Speaker 1: For a long time he had not known such a
• 2:50:35
  Speaker 1: sleep any more. When he woke up after many hours,
• 2:50:40
  Speaker 1: he felt as if ten years had passed. He heard
• 2:50:44
  Speaker 1: the water quietly flowing, did not know where he was
• 2:50:48
  Speaker 1: and who had brought him there. Opened his eyes, saw
• 2:50:52
  Speaker 1: with astonishment that there were trees and the sky above him,
• 2:50:57
  Speaker 1: and he remembered where he was and how got there.
• 2:51:02
  Speaker 1: But it took him a long while for this, and
• 2:51:05
  Speaker 1: the past seemed to him as if it had been
• 2:51:07
  Speaker 1: covered by a veil, infinitely distant, infinitely far away, infinitely meaningless.
• 2:51:16
  Speaker 1: He only knew that his previous life in the first
• 2:51:20
  Speaker 1: moment when he thought about it, this past life seemed
• 2:51:23
  Speaker 1: to him like a very old previous incarnation, like an
• 2:51:28
  Speaker 1: early pre birth of his present self. That this previous
• 2:51:32
  Speaker 1: life had been abandoned by him, that full of disgust
• 2:51:37
  Speaker 1: and wretchedness, he had even intended to throw his life away,
• 2:51:42
  Speaker 1: But that by a river under a cocoanut tree, he
• 2:51:46
  Speaker 1: has come to his senses the holy word olm on
• 2:51:50
  Speaker 1: his lips. That he had fallen asleep and had now
• 2:51:53
  Speaker 1: woken up and was looking at the world as a
• 2:51:56
  Speaker 1: new man. Quietly, he spoke the word om to himself,
• 2:52:03
  Speaker 1: speaking which he had fallen asleep, And it seemed to
• 2:52:07
  Speaker 1: him as if his entire long sleep had been nothing
• 2:52:10
  Speaker 1: but a long meditative recitation of om a, thinking of om,
• 2:52:16
  Speaker 1: a submergence and complete entering into Olm, into the nameless,
• 2:52:22
  Speaker 1: the perfected. What a wonderful sleep? Had this been never before?
• 2:52:29
  Speaker 1: By sleep? He had been thus refreshed, thus renewed, thus rejuvenated.
• 2:52:36
  Speaker 1: Perhaps he had really died, had drowned, and was reborn
• 2:52:40
  Speaker 1: in a new body. But no, he knew himself. He
• 2:52:45
  Speaker 1: knew his hand at his feet, knew the place where
• 2:52:48
  Speaker 1: he lay, knew this self in his chest. This Saddarthur,
• 2:52:53
  Speaker 1: the eccentric, the weird one. But this Siddartha was nevertheless transformed,
• 2:52:59
  Speaker 1: was renewed, was strangely well rested, strangely awake, joyful and curious.
• 2:53:08
  Speaker 1: Sadd Arthur straightened up. Then he saw a person sitting
• 2:53:11
  Speaker 1: opposite to him, an unknown man, a monk in a
• 2:53:16
  Speaker 1: yellow robe with a shaven head, sitting in the position
• 2:53:19
  Speaker 1: of pondering. He observed the man, who had neither hair
• 2:53:24
  Speaker 1: on his head nor a beard, and he had not
• 2:53:26
  Speaker 1: observed him for long when he recognized this monk as Govinda,
• 2:53:31
  Speaker 1: the friend of his youth, Govinda, who had taken his
• 2:53:34
  Speaker 1: refuge with the exalted Buddha. Govinda had aged he too,
• 2:53:41
  Speaker 1: but still his face bore the same features, expressed zeal, faithfulness, searching, timidness.
• 2:53:50
  Speaker 1: But when Govinda, now sensing his gaze, opened his eyes
• 2:53:54
  Speaker 1: and looked at him, said Arthur, saw that Govinda did
• 2:53:58
  Speaker 1: not recognize him. Govinda was happy to find him awake.
• 2:54:03
  Speaker 1: Apparently he had been sitting here for a long time
• 2:54:06
  Speaker 1: and had been waiting for him to wake up, though
• 2:54:09
  Speaker 1: he did not know him. I have been sleeping, said
• 2:54:13
  Speaker 1: sair D Arthur. However did you get here? You have
• 2:54:17
  Speaker 1: been sleeping, answered Govinda. It is not good to be
• 2:54:21
  Speaker 1: sleeping in such places where snakes often are and the
• 2:54:25
  Speaker 1: animals of the forest have their paths. I, oh sir Am,
• 2:54:29
  Speaker 1: a follower of the exalted Gautama, the Buddha, the Sakya Mundi,
• 2:54:34
  Speaker 1: and have been on a pilgrimage together with several of
• 2:54:36
  Speaker 1: us on this path when I saw you lying and
• 2:54:39
  Speaker 1: sleeping in a place where it is dangerous to sleep.
• 2:54:43
  Speaker 1: Therefore I sought to wake you up, oh sir And
• 2:54:46
  Speaker 1: since I saw that your sleep was very deep, I
• 2:54:49
  Speaker 1: strayed behind from my group and sat with you. And
• 2:54:53
  Speaker 1: then so it seems I have fallen asleep myself. I
• 2:54:57
  Speaker 1: who wanted to guard your sleep bad I have served you.
• 2:55:02
  Speaker 1: Tiredness has overwhelmed me, and now that you're awake, let
• 2:55:06
  Speaker 1: me go catch up with my brothers. I thank you
• 2:55:10
  Speaker 1: Somana for watching out over my sleep, spoke Sir Arthur.
• 2:55:14
  Speaker 1: You're friendly, you followers of the Exalted One. Now you
• 2:55:18
  Speaker 1: may go, then I'm going, sir. May you, sir, always
• 2:55:23
  Speaker 1: be in good health. I thank you, Somana. Govinda made
• 2:55:28
  Speaker 1: the gesture of a salutation and said farewell. Farewell, Govinda,
• 2:55:34
  Speaker 1: said Sir Arthur. The monk stopped. Permit me to ask, Sir,
• 2:55:40
  Speaker 1: from where do you know my name? Now? Said Arthur smiled.
• 2:55:46
  Speaker 1: I know you, oh Govinda, from your father's hut, and
• 2:55:49
  Speaker 1: from the school of the Brahmans, and from the offerings,
• 2:55:53
  Speaker 1: and from our walk to the Somanas, and from that
• 2:55:56
  Speaker 1: hour when you took your refuge with the Exalted One
• 2:56:00
  Speaker 1: in the grove Jetavana, Your Sir Darthur, Govinda exclaimed loudly.
• 2:56:06
  Speaker 1: Now I'm recognizing you, and don't comprehend any more how
• 2:56:10
  Speaker 1: I couldn't recognize you right away. Be welcome, said Arthur.
• 2:56:15
  Speaker 1: My joy is great to see you again. It also
• 2:56:20
  Speaker 1: gives me joy to see you again. You've been the
• 2:56:23
  Speaker 1: guard of my sleep again. I thank you for this,
• 2:56:28
  Speaker 1: though I wouldn't have required any guard. Where are you
• 2:56:31
  Speaker 1: going to, oh friend, I am going nowhere. We monks
• 2:56:37
  Speaker 1: are always traveling, whenever it is not the rainy season.
• 2:56:41
  Speaker 1: We always move from one place to another, live according
• 2:56:45
  Speaker 1: to the rules of the teachings passed on to us,
• 2:56:48
  Speaker 1: except alms move on here. It is always like this.
• 2:56:52
  Speaker 1: But you said, Arthur, where are you going to? Quoth
• 2:56:57
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. It is as it is with you. I
• 2:57:00
  Speaker 1: am going nowhere. I'm just traveling. I am on a pilgrimage.
• 2:57:06
  Speaker 1: Govinda spoke. You're saying you're on a pilgrimage, and I
• 2:57:11
  Speaker 1: believe in you. But forgive me, oh, said Arthur. You
• 2:57:15
  Speaker 1: do not look like a pilgrim. You're wearing a rich
• 2:57:18
  Speaker 1: man's garments. You're wearing the shoes of a distinguished gentleman.
• 2:57:22
  Speaker 1: And your hair and the fragrance of perfume is not
• 2:57:26
  Speaker 1: a pilgrim's hair, nor the hair of a samana. Right, So,
• 2:57:31
  Speaker 1: my dear you who observed, well, your keen eyes see everything.
• 2:57:36
  Speaker 1: But I haven't said to you that I was a samana.
• 2:57:39
  Speaker 1: I said, I'm on a pilgrimage, and so it is.
• 2:57:43
  Speaker 1: I'm on a pilgrimage. You're on a pilgrimage, said Govinda.
• 2:57:48
  Speaker 1: But few would go on a pilgrimage in such clothes,
• 2:57:52
  Speaker 1: few in such shoes, few with such hair. Never I
• 2:57:57
  Speaker 1: have met such a pilgrim, being a pilgrim, Micel for
• 2:58:00
  Speaker 1: many years, I believe you, my dear Govinda. But now
• 2:58:05
  Speaker 1: to day you've met a pilgrim just like this, wearing
• 2:58:09
  Speaker 1: such shoes, such a garment. Remember, my dear, not eternal
• 2:58:15
  Speaker 1: is the world of appearances, not eternal, anything but eternal
• 2:58:20
  Speaker 1: our our garments, and the style of our hair, and
• 2:58:23
  Speaker 1: our hair, and our bodies themselves. I'm wearing a rich
• 2:58:27
  Speaker 1: man's clothes. You've seen this, quite right. I'm wearing them
• 2:58:32
  Speaker 1: because I have been a rich man. And I'm wearing
• 2:58:35
  Speaker 1: my hair like the worldly and lustful people, because I
• 2:58:39
  Speaker 1: have been one of them. And now, said Arthur, what
• 2:58:43
  Speaker 1: are you now? I don't know it. I don't know it,
• 2:58:49
  Speaker 1: just like you, I'm traveling. I was a rich man
• 2:58:53
  Speaker 1: and am no rich man any more. And what i'll
• 2:58:57
  Speaker 1: be to morrow, I don't know. You've lost your riches.
• 2:59:03
  Speaker 1: I've lost them, or they me. They somehow happened to
• 2:59:08
  Speaker 1: slip away from me. The wheel of physical manifestations is
• 2:59:13
  Speaker 1: turning quickly, Govinda. Where is Sir Darthur the Brahmin? Where
• 2:59:18
  Speaker 1: is Siddartha the Samana? Where is sad Darthur the rich man? None?
• 2:59:23
  Speaker 1: Eternal things change quickly, Govinda, you know it. Govinda looked
• 2:59:29
  Speaker 1: at the friend of his youth for a long time
• 2:59:32
  Speaker 1: with doubt in his eyes. After that, he gave him
• 2:59:35
  Speaker 1: the salutation which one would use on a gentleman, and
• 2:59:39
  Speaker 1: went on his way with a smiling face. Sad Darthur
• 2:59:43
  Speaker 1: watched him leave. He loved him still, this faithful man,
• 2:59:48
  Speaker 1: this fearful man. And how could he not have loved
• 2:59:51
  Speaker 1: everybody and everything in this moment, in the glorious hour,
• 2:59:56
  Speaker 1: after his wonderful sleep filled with olm, the enchantment which
• 3:00:01
  Speaker 1: had happened inside of him in his sleep, and by
• 3:00:04
  Speaker 1: means of the olm, was this very thing that he
• 3:00:07
  Speaker 1: loved everything, that he was full of joyful love for
• 3:00:11
  Speaker 1: everything he saw. And it was this very thing, so
• 3:00:16
  Speaker 1: it seemed to him now, which had been his sickness
• 3:00:19
  Speaker 1: before that he was not able to love anybody or
• 3:00:23
  Speaker 1: anything With a smiling face, said Arthur watched the leaving monk.
• 3:00:29
  Speaker 1: The sleep had strengthened him much, but hunger gave him
• 3:00:33
  Speaker 1: much pain. For now he had not eaten for two days,
• 3:00:37
  Speaker 1: and the times were long past when he had been
• 3:00:39
  Speaker 1: tough against hunger. With sadness, and yet also with a smile,
• 3:00:45
  Speaker 1: he thought of that time. In those days, so he
• 3:00:49
  Speaker 1: remembered he had boasted of three things to Kamala, had
• 3:00:53
  Speaker 1: been able to do three noble and undefeatable feats, fasting, waiting, thinking.
• 3:01:02
  Speaker 1: These had been his possession, his power and strength, his
• 3:01:06
  Speaker 1: solid staff. In the busy, laborious years of his youth.
• 3:01:11
  Speaker 1: He had learned these three feats, nothing else, and now
• 3:01:16
  Speaker 1: they had abandoned him. None of them was his anymore,
• 3:01:20
  Speaker 1: neither fasting nor waiting, nor thinking for the most wretched things.
• 3:01:26
  Speaker 1: He had given them up for what fades most quickly,
• 3:01:31
  Speaker 1: for sensual lust, for the good life, for riches. His
• 3:01:37
  Speaker 1: life had indeed been strange, and now so it seemed,
• 3:01:41
  Speaker 1: now he had really become a childlike person. Sir Arthur
• 3:01:47
  Speaker 1: thought about his situation. Thinking was hard on him. He
• 3:01:52
  Speaker 1: did not really feel like it, but he forced himself. Now,
• 3:01:57
  Speaker 1: he thought, since all these most easily perishing things have
• 3:02:02
  Speaker 1: slipped from me again. Now I'm standing here under the sun, again,
• 3:02:06
  Speaker 1: just as I have been standing here a little child.
• 3:02:10
  Speaker 1: Nothing is mine. I have no abilities, there is nothing
• 3:02:14
  Speaker 1: I could bring about. I have learned nothing. How wondrous
• 3:02:19
  Speaker 1: is this now that I am no longer young, that
• 3:02:22
  Speaker 1: my hair is already half gray, that my strength is fading.
• 3:02:27
  Speaker 1: Now I'm starting again at the beginning, and as a
• 3:02:30
  Speaker 1: child again, he had to smile. Yes, his fate had
• 3:02:36
  Speaker 1: been strange. Things were going downhill with him, and now
• 3:02:40
  Speaker 1: he was again facing the world, void and naked and stupid.
• 3:02:45
  Speaker 1: But he could not feel sad about this. No, he
• 3:02:49
  Speaker 1: even felt a great urge to laugh, to laugh about himself,
• 3:02:53
  Speaker 1: to laugh about the strange, foolish world. Things are going
• 3:02:59
  Speaker 1: downhill with you, he said to himself, and laughed about it.
• 3:03:04
  Speaker 1: And as he was saying it, he happened to glance
• 3:03:07
  Speaker 1: at the river, and he also saw the river was
• 3:03:10
  Speaker 1: going downhill. All was moving on downhill, and singing and
• 3:03:15
  Speaker 1: being happy through it all. He liked this well kindly,
• 3:03:21
  Speaker 1: he smiled at the river. Was this not the river
• 3:03:25
  Speaker 1: in which he had intended to drown himself in past
• 3:03:28
  Speaker 1: times a hundred years ago? Or had he dreamed this? Wondrous?
• 3:03:34
  Speaker 1: Indeed was my life? So he thought, wondrous detours has
• 3:03:38
  Speaker 1: it taken. As a boy, I had only to do
• 3:03:42
  Speaker 1: with gods and offerings. As a youth, I had only
• 3:03:45
  Speaker 1: to do with asceticism, with thinking, a meditation, was searching
• 3:03:50
  Speaker 1: for Brahman, worshiped the eternal in the Utman. But as
• 3:03:54
  Speaker 1: a young man, I followed the penitents, lived in the forest,
• 3:03:59
  Speaker 1: suffered of heat and frost, learned to hunger, taught my
• 3:04:03
  Speaker 1: body to become dead. Wonderfully, Soon afterwards, insight came towards
• 3:04:10
  Speaker 1: me in the form of the Great Buddha's teachings. I
• 3:04:13
  Speaker 1: felt the knowledge of the oneness of the world circling
• 3:04:17
  Speaker 1: in me like my own blood. But I also had
• 3:04:20
  Speaker 1: to leave Buddha and the great knowledge. I went and
• 3:04:24
  Speaker 1: learned the art of love with Kamala. Learned trading with Kamaswami,
• 3:04:30
  Speaker 1: piled up money, wasted money, Learned to love my stomach,
• 3:04:35
  Speaker 1: learned to please my senses. I had to spend many
• 3:04:39
  Speaker 1: years losing my spirit to unlearn thinking again, to forget
• 3:04:44
  Speaker 1: the oneness. Isn't it just as if I had turned
• 3:04:49
  Speaker 1: slowly and on a long detour from a man into
• 3:04:53
  Speaker 1: a child, from a thinker into a childlike person, And
• 3:04:59
  Speaker 1: yet this part has been very good, and yet the
• 3:05:02
  Speaker 1: bird in my chest has not died. But what a
• 3:05:07
  Speaker 1: path has this been? I had to pass through so
• 3:05:10
  Speaker 1: much stupidity, through so much vices, through so many errors,
• 3:05:16
  Speaker 1: through so much disgust and disappointments and woe, just to
• 3:05:20
  Speaker 1: become a child again, and to be able to start
• 3:05:23
  Speaker 1: over that it was right. So my heart says yes
• 3:05:28
  Speaker 1: to it, my eyes smiled to it. I've had to
• 3:05:32
  Speaker 1: experience despair. I've had to sink down to the most
• 3:05:35
  Speaker 1: foolish one of all thoughts, to the thought of suicide,
• 3:05:40
  Speaker 1: in order to be able to experience divine grace, to
• 3:05:43
  Speaker 1: hear om again, to be able to sleep properly and
• 3:05:48
  Speaker 1: to awake properly again. I had to become a fool
• 3:05:52
  Speaker 1: to find utman in me again. I had to sin
• 3:05:57
  Speaker 1: to be able to live again. Where else might my
• 3:06:01
  Speaker 1: path lead me to? It is foolish, this path. It
• 3:06:05
  Speaker 1: moves in loops. Perhaps it is going around in a circle.
• 3:06:10
  Speaker 1: Let it go as it likes. I want to take
• 3:06:13
  Speaker 1: it wonderfully. He felt joy rolling like waves in his chest.
• 3:06:21
  Speaker 1: Wherever from? He asked his heart, where did you get
• 3:06:26
  Speaker 1: this happiness? Might it come from that long good sleep
• 3:06:30
  Speaker 1: which has done me so good, Or from the word
• 3:06:33
  Speaker 1: om which I said, or from the fact that I
• 3:06:36
  Speaker 1: have escaped, that I have completely fled, that I am
• 3:06:40
  Speaker 1: finally free again, and am standing like a child under
• 3:06:44
  Speaker 1: the sky. Oh, how good it is to have fled,
• 3:06:49
  Speaker 1: to have become free. How clean and beautiful is the
• 3:06:53
  Speaker 1: air here? How good to breathe there? Where I ran
• 3:06:58
  Speaker 1: away from there? Every things smelled of ointment, of spices,
• 3:07:04
  Speaker 1: of wine, of excess of sloth. How did I hate
• 3:07:09
  Speaker 1: this world of the rich, of those who revel in
• 3:07:12
  Speaker 1: fine food, of the gamblers? How did I hate myself
• 3:07:17
  Speaker 1: for staying in this terrible world for so long? How
• 3:07:21
  Speaker 1: did I hate myself? Have deprived, poisoned, tortured myself, have
• 3:07:27
  Speaker 1: made myself old and evil? No, never again I will,
• 3:07:33
  Speaker 1: as I used to like doing so much, delude myself
• 3:07:37
  Speaker 1: into thinking that Siddartha was wise. But this one thing
• 3:07:42
  Speaker 1: I have done well, This I like. This, I must praise.
• 3:07:48
  Speaker 1: But there is now an end to that hatred against myself,
• 3:07:52
  Speaker 1: to that foolish and dreary life. I praise you, Siddartha.
• 3:07:57
  Speaker 1: After so many years of foolishness, you have once again
• 3:08:02
  Speaker 1: had an idea, have done something have heard the bird
• 3:08:07
  Speaker 1: in your chest singing, and have followed it. Thus he
• 3:08:12
  Speaker 1: praised himself, found joy in himself, listened curiously to his stomach,
• 3:08:18
  Speaker 1: which was rumbling with hunger. He had now so he felt,
• 3:08:23
  Speaker 1: in those recent times and days, completely tasted and spit out,
• 3:08:28
  Speaker 1: devoured up to the point of desperation and death. A
• 3:08:31
  Speaker 1: piece of suffering, a piece of misery like this, It
• 3:08:37
  Speaker 1: was good. For much longer he could have stayed with Kamiswami,
• 3:08:42
  Speaker 1: made money, wasted money, filled his stomach, and let his
• 3:08:47
  Speaker 1: soul die of thirst. For much longer he could have
• 3:08:51
  Speaker 1: lived in this soft, well upholstered hell if this had
• 3:08:56
  Speaker 1: not happened, the moment of complete hopelessness and despair, that
• 3:09:01
  Speaker 1: most extreme moment, when he hung over the rushing waters
• 3:09:06
  Speaker 1: and was ready to destroy himself. That he had felt
• 3:09:10
  Speaker 1: this despair, this deep disgust, that he had not succumbed
• 3:09:14
  Speaker 1: to it. That the bird, the joyful source and voice
• 3:09:18
  Speaker 1: in him, was still alive after all, This was why
• 3:09:22
  Speaker 1: he felt joy, This was why he laughed, This was
• 3:09:26
  Speaker 1: why his face was smiling brightly under his hair which
• 3:09:30
  Speaker 1: had turned gray. It is good, he thought, to get
• 3:09:36
  Speaker 1: a taste of everything for oneself, which one needs to know,
• 3:09:40
  Speaker 1: that lust for the world and riches do not belong
• 3:09:43
  Speaker 1: to the good things. I have already learned as a child.
• 3:09:47
  Speaker 1: I have known it for a long time, but I
• 3:09:50
  Speaker 1: have experienced only now, and now I know it. Don't
• 3:09:55
  Speaker 1: just know it in my memory, but in my eyes,
• 3:09:58
  Speaker 1: in my heart, in my stomach. Good for me to
• 3:10:02
  Speaker 1: know this. For a long time, he pondered his transformation,
• 3:10:08
  Speaker 1: listened to the bird as it sang for joy. Had
• 3:10:12
  Speaker 1: not this bird died in him? Had he not felt
• 3:10:15
  Speaker 1: his death? No, something else from within him had died,
• 3:10:20
  Speaker 1: something which already, for a long time had yearned to die.
• 3:10:26
  Speaker 1: Was it not this what he intended to kill in
• 3:10:29
  Speaker 1: his ardent years as a penitent. Was it not his self,
• 3:10:33
  Speaker 1: his small, frightened and proud self he had wrestled with
• 3:10:37
  Speaker 1: for so many years, which had defeated him again and again,
• 3:10:42
  Speaker 1: which was back again after every killing prohibited joy felt fear.
• 3:10:49
  Speaker 1: Was it not this which today had finally come to
• 3:10:53
  Speaker 1: its death, here in the forest, by this lovely river.
• 3:10:58
  Speaker 1: Was it not due to this death that he was
• 3:11:02
  Speaker 1: now like a child, so full of trust, so without fear,
• 3:11:07
  Speaker 1: so full of joy? Now Saddarthur also got some idea
• 3:11:12
  Speaker 1: of why he had fought this self in vain as
• 3:11:15
  Speaker 1: a Brahman, as a penitent. Too much knowledge had held
• 3:11:20
  Speaker 1: him back, too many holy verses, too many sacrificial rules,
• 3:11:25
  Speaker 1: too much self castigation, so much doing and striving for
• 3:11:31
  Speaker 1: that goal. Full of arrogance. He had been, always the smartest,
• 3:11:37
  Speaker 1: always working the most, always one step ahead of all others.
• 3:11:42
  Speaker 1: All was the knowing and spiritual one. All was the
• 3:11:46
  Speaker 1: priest or wise one into being a priest. Into this arrogance,
• 3:11:52
  Speaker 1: into this spirituality his self had retreated. There it sat
• 3:11:57
  Speaker 1: firmly and grew. While he thought thought he would kill
• 3:12:00
  Speaker 1: it by fasting and penance. Now he saw it, and
• 3:12:06
  Speaker 1: saw the secret voice had been right, that no teacher
• 3:12:10
  Speaker 1: would ever have been able to bring about his salvation.
• 3:12:14
  Speaker 1: Therefore he had to go out into the world, lose
• 3:12:18
  Speaker 1: himself to lust and power to women and money. Had
• 3:12:23
  Speaker 1: to become a merchant, a dice gambler, a drinker, and
• 3:12:27
  Speaker 1: a greedy person until the priest and Samana in him
• 3:12:31
  Speaker 1: was dead. Therefore he had to continue bearing these ugly years,
• 3:12:37
  Speaker 1: bearing the disgust, the teachings, the pointlessness of a dreary
• 3:12:42
  Speaker 1: and wasted life up to the end up to bitter despair,
• 3:12:47
  Speaker 1: until Saddarthur the lustful, Saddarthur the greedy, could also die.
• 3:12:54
  Speaker 1: He had died, a new Saddarthur had woken up from
• 3:12:57
  Speaker 1: the sleep. He would also grow old. He would also
• 3:13:01
  Speaker 1: eventually have to die. Mortal, was said Arthur. Mortal was
• 3:13:07
  Speaker 1: every physical form. But today he was young. Was a child,
• 3:13:13
  Speaker 1: the new, said Arthur, and was full of joy. He
• 3:13:18
  Speaker 1: thought these thoughts, listened with a smile to his stomach,
• 3:13:22
  Speaker 1: listened gratefully to a buzzing bee. Cheerfully, he looked into
• 3:13:27
  Speaker 1: the rushing river. Never before he had liked a water
• 3:13:31
  Speaker 1: so well as this one. Never before he had perceived
• 3:13:34
  Speaker 1: the voice and the parable of the moving water thus
• 3:13:37
  Speaker 1: strongly and beautifully. It seemed to him as if the
• 3:13:42
  Speaker 1: river had something special to tell him, something he did
• 3:13:46
  Speaker 1: not know yet, which was still awaiting him. In this river,
• 3:13:51
  Speaker 1: Saddartha had intended to drown himself in it. The old, tired,
• 3:13:56
  Speaker 1: desperate Saddartha had drowned today. But the new, said Arthur,
• 3:14:02
  Speaker 1: felt a deep love for this rushing water, and decided
• 3:14:06
  Speaker 1: for himself not to leave it. Very soon. End of
• 3:14:12
  Speaker 1: chapter eight, Chapter nine, The fairy Man by this river
• 3:14:18
  Speaker 1: I want to stay, thought said Arthur. It is the
• 3:14:22
  Speaker 1: same which I have crossed a long time ago on
• 3:14:25
  Speaker 1: my way to the childlike people. A friendly fairy man
• 3:14:30
  Speaker 1: had guided me. Then he is the wine I want
• 3:14:33
  Speaker 1: to go to. Starting out from his hut, my path
• 3:14:37
  Speaker 1: had led me at that time into a new life,
• 3:14:41
  Speaker 1: which had now grown old and is dead. My present path,
• 3:14:47
  Speaker 1: my present new life, shall also take its start there. Tenderly,
• 3:14:53
  Speaker 1: he looked into the rushing water, into the transparent green,
• 3:14:58
  Speaker 1: into the crystal l lines of its drawing, so rich
• 3:15:02
  Speaker 1: in secrets, bright pearls he saw rising from the deep
• 3:15:08
  Speaker 1: quiet bubbles of air floating on the reflecting surface, the
• 3:15:12
  Speaker 1: blue of the sky being depicted in it with a
• 3:15:16
  Speaker 1: thousand eyes. The river looked at him with green ones,
• 3:15:21
  Speaker 1: with white ones, with crystal ones, with sky blue ones.
• 3:15:26
  Speaker 1: How did he love this water? How did it delight him?
• 3:15:30
  Speaker 1: How grateful was he to it? In his heart? He
• 3:15:35
  Speaker 1: heard the water talking, which was newly awakening, and it
• 3:15:39
  Speaker 1: told him, love this water, stay near it, learn from it.
• 3:15:45
  Speaker 1: Oh yes, he wanted to learn from it. He wanted
• 3:15:48
  Speaker 1: to listen to it. He who would understand this water
• 3:15:54
  Speaker 1: and its secrets? So it seemed to him, would also
• 3:15:58
  Speaker 1: understand many other things, many secrets, all secrets. But out
• 3:16:04
  Speaker 1: of all secrets of the river he today only saw one.
• 3:16:09
  Speaker 1: This one touched his soul. He saw this water ran
• 3:16:15
  Speaker 1: and ran incessantly, It ran and was nevertheless always there was, always,
• 3:16:23
  Speaker 1: at all times the same, and yet knew in every moment.
• 3:16:29
  Speaker 1: Great be he who would grasp this, Understand this He
• 3:16:36
  Speaker 1: understood and grasped it, not only felt some idea of
• 3:16:41
  Speaker 1: its stirring a distant memory, divine voices. Sad Arthur rose,
• 3:16:49
  Speaker 1: the workings of hunger in his body became unbearable. In
• 3:16:54
  Speaker 1: a daze, he walked on up the path by the river,
• 3:16:58
  Speaker 1: up river, listen to the current, listened to the rumbling
• 3:17:03
  Speaker 1: hunger in his body. When he reached the ferry, the
• 3:17:07
  Speaker 1: boat was just ready, and the same ferryman who had
• 3:17:10
  Speaker 1: once transported the young Samana across the river stood in
• 3:17:14
  Speaker 1: the boat. Sad Darthur recognized him. He had also aged
• 3:17:20
  Speaker 1: very much. Would you like to ferry me over? He asked.
• 3:17:26
  Speaker 1: The ferryman, being astonished to see such an elegant man
• 3:17:30
  Speaker 1: walking along and on foot, took him into his boat
• 3:17:34
  Speaker 1: and pushed it off the bank. It is a beautiful
• 3:17:39
  Speaker 1: life you have chosen for yourself. The passenger spoke, it
• 3:17:44
  Speaker 1: must be beautiful to live by this water every day,
• 3:17:48
  Speaker 1: and a cruise on it. With a smile. The man
• 3:17:52
  Speaker 1: at the oar moved from side to side. It is beautiful, sir.
• 3:17:57
  Speaker 1: It is as you say. But isn't every life? Isn't
• 3:18:01
  Speaker 1: every work beautiful? This may be true, but I envy
• 3:18:06
  Speaker 1: you yours. Ah, you would soon stop enjoying it. This
• 3:18:12
  Speaker 1: is nothing for people wearing fine clothes, said Arthur laughed.
• 3:18:18
  Speaker 1: Once before, I have been looked upon today because of
• 3:18:21
  Speaker 1: my clothes. I have been looked upon with distrust. Wouldn't
• 3:18:26
  Speaker 1: you ferrymen like to accept these clothes, which are a
• 3:18:30
  Speaker 1: nuisance to me from me? For you must know I
• 3:18:34
  Speaker 1: have no money to pay your fare. You are joking, sir,
• 3:18:39
  Speaker 1: the ferry man laughed. I'm not joking. Friend. Behold, once
• 3:18:45
  Speaker 1: before you have ferried me across this water in your
• 3:18:47
  Speaker 1: boat for the immaterial reward of a good deed. Thus
• 3:18:52
  Speaker 1: do it today as well, and accept my clothes for it.
• 3:18:57
  Speaker 1: And you, sir, intend to con traveling without clothes. Ah.
• 3:19:04
  Speaker 1: Most of all, I wouldn't want to continue traveling at all.
• 3:19:08
  Speaker 1: Most of all, I would like you, fairyman, to give
• 3:19:11
  Speaker 1: me an old loincloth and keep me as your assistant,
• 3:19:16
  Speaker 1: or rather as your trainee, for I'll have to learn
• 3:19:19
  Speaker 1: first how to handle the boat. For a long time,
• 3:19:23
  Speaker 1: the ferryman looked at the stranger, searching. Now I recognize you,
• 3:19:29
  Speaker 1: he finally said. At one time you've slept in my hut.
• 3:19:35
  Speaker 1: This was a long time ago, possibly more than twenty
• 3:19:39
  Speaker 1: years ago, and you've been ferried across the river by
• 3:19:43
  Speaker 1: me and we parted like good friends. Haven't you been
• 3:19:48
  Speaker 1: a samana? I can't think of your name anymore. My
• 3:19:53
  Speaker 1: name is Sadhartha, and I was a samana when you
• 3:19:57
  Speaker 1: last saw me. So be welcome, said Arthur. My name
• 3:20:01
  Speaker 1: is Vasudiva. You will, so I hope, be my guest
• 3:20:06
  Speaker 1: to day as well as sleep in my hut, and
• 3:20:09
  Speaker 1: tell me where you're coming from and why these beautiful
• 3:20:13
  Speaker 1: clothes are such a nuisance to you. They had reached
• 3:20:17
  Speaker 1: the middle of the river and Vasudeva pushed the oar
• 3:20:20
  Speaker 1: with more strength in order to overcome the current. He
• 3:20:25
  Speaker 1: worked calmly, his eyes fixed on the front of the
• 3:20:29
  Speaker 1: boat with brawny arms. Siddarthur sat and watched him and
• 3:20:34
  Speaker 1: remembered how once before, on that last day of his
• 3:20:38
  Speaker 1: time as a samana, love for this man had stirred
• 3:20:42
  Speaker 1: in his heart. Gratefully, he accepted Vasudeva's invitation. When they
• 3:20:49
  Speaker 1: had reached the bank, he helped him to tie the
• 3:20:52
  Speaker 1: boat to the stakes. After this, the ferryman asked him
• 3:20:56
  Speaker 1: to enter the hut, offered him bread and water, and
• 3:21:00
  Speaker 1: sa Dartha ate with eager pleasure, and also ate with
• 3:21:04
  Speaker 1: eager pleasure of the mango fruits Vasudiva offered him. Afterwards,
• 3:21:10
  Speaker 1: it was almost the time of the sunset. They sat
• 3:21:14
  Speaker 1: on a log by the bank, and Sadartha told the
• 3:21:17
  Speaker 1: fairy man about where he originally had come from and
• 3:21:21
  Speaker 1: about his life as he had seen it before his
• 3:21:24
  Speaker 1: eyes to day, in that hour of despair, until late
• 3:21:29
  Speaker 1: at night lasted his tale. Vasu Diva listened with great attention,
• 3:21:36
  Speaker 1: listened carefully. He let everything enter his mind, birthplace and childhood,
• 3:21:42
  Speaker 1: all that learning, all that searching, all joy, all distress.
• 3:21:51
  Speaker 1: This was among the fairy Man's virtues, one of the greatest.
• 3:21:56
  Speaker 1: Like only a few he knew how to listen without
• 3:22:00
  Speaker 1: him having spoken a word. The speaker sensed how Vasudiva
• 3:22:05
  Speaker 1: let his words enter his mind, quiet open waiting. How
• 3:22:12
  Speaker 1: he did not lose a single word, awaited, not a
• 3:22:16
  Speaker 1: single one with impatience, did not add his phrase or rebuke,
• 3:22:22
  Speaker 1: was just listening. Saddarthur felt, what a happy fortune it
• 3:22:29
  Speaker 1: is to confess to such a listener, to bury in
• 3:22:33
  Speaker 1: his heart his own life, his own search, his own suffering.
• 3:22:40
  Speaker 1: But in the end of Saddarthur's tale, when he spoke
• 3:22:43
  Speaker 1: of the tree by the river, and of his deep
• 3:22:46
  Speaker 1: fall of the holy om, and how he had felt
• 3:22:50
  Speaker 1: such a love for the river after his slumber, the
• 3:22:53
  Speaker 1: fairy man listened with twice the attention, entirely and completely
• 3:22:59
  Speaker 1: absorbed by it, with his eyes closed. And when Saddartha
• 3:23:05
  Speaker 1: fell silent, and a long silence had occurred, then Vasudeva said,
• 3:23:12
  Speaker 1: it is as I thought. The river has spoken to you.
• 3:23:17
  Speaker 1: It is your friend as well. It speaks to you
• 3:23:21
  Speaker 1: as well. That is good, That is very good. Stay
• 3:23:27
  Speaker 1: with me, said Arthur, my friend. I used to have
• 3:23:31
  Speaker 1: a wife. Her bed was next to mine, but she
• 3:23:35
  Speaker 1: has died a long time ago. For a long time
• 3:23:38
  Speaker 1: I have lived alone. Now you shall live with me.
• 3:23:44
  Speaker 1: There is space and food for both. I thank you,
• 3:23:49
  Speaker 1: said Sadartha. I thank you and accept. And I also
• 3:23:54
  Speaker 1: thank you for this, Vasudeva for listening to me so well.
• 3:23:59
  Speaker 1: These people are rare who know how to listen. And
• 3:24:03
  Speaker 1: I did not meet a single one who knew it
• 3:24:05
  Speaker 1: as well as you did. I will also learn in
• 3:24:09
  Speaker 1: this respect from you. You will learn it, spoke Vasudeva,
• 3:24:14
  Speaker 1: but not from me. The river has taught me to listen.
• 3:24:20
  Speaker 1: From it, you will learn it as well. It knows everything,
• 3:24:25
  Speaker 1: the river. Everything can be learned from it. See you've
• 3:24:30
  Speaker 1: already learned this from the river, to that it is
• 3:24:34
  Speaker 1: good to strive downwards, to sink, to seek depth. The
• 3:24:40
  Speaker 1: rich and elegant Siddhartha is becoming an oarsman servant the
• 3:24:45
  Speaker 1: learned Brahman Siddhartha becomes a faery man. This has also
• 3:24:50
  Speaker 1: been told to you by the river. You'll learn that
• 3:24:54
  Speaker 1: other thing from it as well, quoth said Arthur, after
• 3:24:59
  Speaker 1: a long poor what other thing, Vasudiva? Vasudiva rose, It
• 3:25:07
  Speaker 1: is late, he said, let's go to sleep. I can't
• 3:25:12
  Speaker 1: tell you that other thing. Oh friend, you'll learn it,
• 3:25:15
  Speaker 1: or perhaps you already know it. See I'm no learned man.
• 3:25:21
  Speaker 1: I have no special skill in speaking. I also have
• 3:25:25
  Speaker 1: no special skill in thinking. All I'm able to do
• 3:25:29
  Speaker 1: is to listen and to be godly. I have learned
• 3:25:34
  Speaker 1: nothing else. If I was able to say and to
• 3:25:37
  Speaker 1: teach it, I might be a wise man. But like this,
• 3:25:42
  Speaker 1: I am only a fairy man. And it is my
• 3:25:45
  Speaker 1: task to ferry people across the river. I have transported
• 3:25:49
  Speaker 1: many thousands, and to all of them, my river has
• 3:25:53
  Speaker 1: been nothing but an obstacle on their travels. They traveled
• 3:25:58
  Speaker 1: to seek money and business, and for weddings and on pilgrimages,
• 3:26:04
  Speaker 1: and the river was obstructing their path, and the ferryman's
• 3:26:07
  Speaker 1: job was to get them quickly across that obstacle. But
• 3:26:12
  Speaker 1: for some among the thousands, a few four or five,
• 3:26:17
  Speaker 1: the river has stopped being an obstacle. They have heard
• 3:26:21
  Speaker 1: its voice, they have listened to it, and the river
• 3:26:25
  Speaker 1: has become sacred to them, as it has become sacred
• 3:26:30
  Speaker 1: to me. Let's rest now, said Arthur. Sir Arthur stayed
• 3:26:37
  Speaker 1: with the ferryman and learned to operate the boat, And
• 3:26:40
  Speaker 1: when there was nothing to do with the ferry, he
• 3:26:43
  Speaker 1: worked with vasudiva in the rice field, gathered wood, plucked
• 3:26:47
  Speaker 1: the fruit off the banana trees. He learned to build
• 3:26:51
  Speaker 1: an oar, and learned to mend the boat and to
• 3:26:54
  Speaker 1: weave baskets, and was joyful because of everything he learned.
• 3:27:00
  Speaker 1: And the days and months passed quickly, but more than
• 3:27:05
  Speaker 1: Vasudeva could teach him. He was taught by the river incessantly.
• 3:27:11
  Speaker 1: He learned from it. Most of all, he learned from
• 3:27:15
  Speaker 1: it to listen, to pay hose attention, with a quiet heart,
• 3:27:20
  Speaker 1: with a waiting opened soul, without passion, without a wish,
• 3:27:26
  Speaker 1: without judgment, without an opinion, in a friendly manner. He
• 3:27:32
  Speaker 1: lived side by side with Vasudeva, and occasionally they exchanged
• 3:27:38
  Speaker 1: some words few and at length thought about words. Vasudeva
• 3:27:44
  Speaker 1: was no friend to words. Rarely said Arthur succeeded in
• 3:27:49
  Speaker 1: persuading him to speak. Did you so, he asked him,
• 3:27:53
  Speaker 1: at one time, Did you too learn that secret from
• 3:27:57
  Speaker 1: the river, that there is no time? Vasu Diva's face
• 3:28:03
  Speaker 1: was filled with a bright smile. Yes, said Arthur. He spoke.
• 3:28:09
  Speaker 1: It is this what you mean, isn't it? That the
• 3:28:13
  Speaker 1: river is everywhere at once, at the source and at
• 3:28:18
  Speaker 1: the mouth, at the waterfall, at the ferry, at the rapids,
• 3:28:22
  Speaker 1: in the sea, in the mountains, everywhere at once, And
• 3:28:28
  Speaker 1: that there is only the present, for it not the
• 3:28:31
  Speaker 1: shadow of the past, not the shadow of the future.
• 3:28:36
  Speaker 1: This it is, said, said Arthur. And when I had
• 3:28:40
  Speaker 1: learned it, I looked at my life and it was
• 3:28:43
  Speaker 1: also a river. And the boy, said Arthur, was only
• 3:28:47
  Speaker 1: separated from the man, said Arthur, and from the old man,
• 3:28:50
  Speaker 1: said Arthur, by a shadow, not something real. Also said
• 3:28:57
  Speaker 1: Arthur's previous births were no part, and his death and
• 3:29:02
  Speaker 1: his return to Brahma was no future. Nothing was, nothing
• 3:29:08
  Speaker 1: will be, Everything is, everything has existence and is present.
• 3:29:16
  Speaker 1: Sad Arthur spoke with ecstasy deeply. This enlightenment had delighted him.
• 3:29:24
  Speaker 1: Oh was not all suffering. Time were not all forms
• 3:29:30
  Speaker 1: of tormenting oneself and being afraid? Time was not everything hard,
• 3:29:37
  Speaker 1: everything hostile in the world gone and overcome as soon
• 3:29:41
  Speaker 1: as one had overcome time, as soon as time would
• 3:29:46
  Speaker 1: have been put out of existence by one's thoughts. In
• 3:29:50
  Speaker 1: ecstatic delight, he had spoken, but Vasu Diva smiled at
• 3:29:56
  Speaker 1: him brightly and nodded in confirmation. Silently, he nodded, brushed
• 3:30:03
  Speaker 1: his hand over Sir Arthur's shoulder, turned back to his work,
• 3:30:09
  Speaker 1: and once again, when the river had just increased its
• 3:30:12
  Speaker 1: flow in the rainy season and made a powerful noise.
• 3:30:17
  Speaker 1: Then said Sir Arthur, isn't it so o? Friend? The
• 3:30:22
  Speaker 1: river has many voices, many many voices. Hasn't it the
• 3:30:27
  Speaker 1: voice of a king, and of a warrior, and of
• 3:30:31
  Speaker 1: a bull, and of a bird of the night, and
• 3:30:35
  Speaker 1: a woman giving birth, and of a sighing man, and
• 3:30:40
  Speaker 1: a thousand other voices? More so it is, Vasudiva nodded.
• 3:30:48
  Speaker 1: All voices of the creature are in its voice. And
• 3:30:53
  Speaker 1: do you know, said Arthur, continued, what word it speaks
• 3:30:58
  Speaker 1: when you succeed in hearing all all of its ten
• 3:31:01
  Speaker 1: thousand voices at once? Happily, Vasudeva's face was smiling. He
• 3:31:08
  Speaker 1: bent over to Siddhartha and spoke the holy om in
• 3:31:13
  Speaker 1: his ear. And this had been the very thing which
• 3:31:17
  Speaker 1: Siddhartha had also been hearing. And time after time his
• 3:31:23
  Speaker 1: smile became more similar to the fairy man's, became almost
• 3:31:28
  Speaker 1: just as bright, almost just as thoughtfully glowing with bliss,
• 3:31:35
  Speaker 1: just as shining out of thousand small wrinkles, just as
• 3:31:40
  Speaker 1: alike to a child's, just as alike to an old man's.
• 3:31:47
  Speaker 1: Many travelers seeing the two faerry men, thought they were brothers.
• 3:31:53
  Speaker 1: Often they sat in the evening together by the bank
• 3:31:56
  Speaker 1: on the log, said nothing, and both listens to the water,
• 3:32:01
  Speaker 1: which was no water to them, but the voice of life,
• 3:32:06
  Speaker 1: the voice of what exists, of what is eternally taking shape.
• 3:32:12
  Speaker 1: And it happened from time to time that both, when
• 3:32:15
  Speaker 1: listening to the water, thought of the same things, of
• 3:32:19
  Speaker 1: a conversation from the day before yesterday of one of
• 3:32:23
  Speaker 1: their travelers, the face and fate of whom had occupied
• 3:32:27
  Speaker 1: their thoughts, of death, of their childhood, And that they both,
• 3:32:34
  Speaker 1: in the same moment, when the river had been saying
• 3:32:36
  Speaker 1: something good to them, looked at each other, both thinking
• 3:32:41
  Speaker 1: precisely the same thing, both delighted about the same answer
• 3:32:47
  Speaker 1: to the same question. There was something about this fairy
• 3:32:51
  Speaker 1: and the two ferry men which was transmitted to others,
• 3:32:55
  Speaker 1: which many of the travelers felt. It happened occasionally that
• 3:33:00
  Speaker 1: a traveler, after having looked at the face of one
• 3:33:03
  Speaker 1: of the fairy men, started to tell the story of
• 3:33:06
  Speaker 1: his life, told about pains, confessed evil things, asked for
• 3:33:13
  Speaker 1: comfort and advice. It happened occasionally that someone asked for
• 3:33:18
  Speaker 1: permission to stay for a night with them to listen
• 3:33:22
  Speaker 1: to the river. It also happened that curious people came
• 3:33:26
  Speaker 1: who had been told that there were two wise men
• 3:33:29
  Speaker 1: or sorcerers or holy men living by that fairy. The
• 3:33:34
  Speaker 1: curious people asked many questions, but they got no answers,
• 3:33:40
  Speaker 1: and they found neither sorcerers nor wise men. They only
• 3:33:44
  Speaker 1: found two friendly, little old men who seemed to be
• 3:33:47
  Speaker 1: mute and to have become a bit strange and gugger.
• 3:33:52
  Speaker 1: And the curious people laughed and were discussing how foolishly
• 3:33:57
  Speaker 1: and gullibly the common people were spreading such empty rumors.
• 3:34:03
  Speaker 1: The years passed by, and nobody counted them. Then at
• 3:34:09
  Speaker 1: one time monks came by on a pilgrimage followers of
• 3:34:13
  Speaker 1: Gautama the Buddha, who were asking to be ferried across
• 3:34:17
  Speaker 1: the river, and by then the ferrymen were told that
• 3:34:21
  Speaker 1: they were most hurriedly walking back to their great teacher,
• 3:34:25
  Speaker 1: for the news had spread the Exalted One was deadly
• 3:34:29
  Speaker 1: sick and would soon die his last human death in
• 3:34:34
  Speaker 1: order to become one with the salvation. It was not
• 3:34:39
  Speaker 1: long until a new flock of monks came along on
• 3:34:43
  Speaker 1: their pilgrimage, and another one, and the monks, as well
• 3:34:48
  Speaker 1: as most of the other travelers and people walking through
• 3:34:51
  Speaker 1: the land spoke of nothing else than of Gautama and
• 3:34:55
  Speaker 1: his impending death. And as people are flocking from everywhere
• 3:35:01
  Speaker 1: and from all sides, when they are going to war
• 3:35:04
  Speaker 1: or to the coronation of a king, and are gathering
• 3:35:08
  Speaker 1: like ants in droves, Thus they flocked, like being drawn
• 3:35:13
  Speaker 1: on by a magic spell, to where the great Buddha
• 3:35:17
  Speaker 1: was awaiting his death, where the huge event was to
• 3:35:21
  Speaker 1: take place, and the great perfected one of an era
• 3:35:25
  Speaker 1: was to become one with the glory. Often said Arthur thought,
• 3:35:31
  Speaker 1: in those days of the dying wise man, the great teacher,
• 3:35:36
  Speaker 1: whose voice had admonished nations and had awoken hundreds of thousands,
• 3:35:42
  Speaker 1: whose voice he had also once heard, whose holy face
• 3:35:47
  Speaker 1: he had also once seen with respect. Kindly he thought
• 3:35:52
  Speaker 1: of him, saw his path to perfection before his eyes,
• 3:35:56
  Speaker 1: and remembered with a smile those words which he had
• 3:36:00
  Speaker 1: once as a young man said to him the exalted one.
• 3:36:04
  Speaker 1: They had been so it seemed to him, proud and
• 3:36:08
  Speaker 1: precocious words. With a smile, he remembered them for a
• 3:36:13
  Speaker 1: long time. He knew that there was nothing standing between
• 3:36:16
  Speaker 1: Gautama and him anymore, though he was still unable to
• 3:36:21
  Speaker 1: accept his teachings, No there was no teaching a truly
• 3:36:27
  Speaker 1: searching person, someone who truly wanted to find could accept.
• 3:36:33
  Speaker 1: But he who had found, he could approve of any teachings,
• 3:36:38
  Speaker 1: every path, every goal. There was nothing standing between him
• 3:36:43
  Speaker 1: and all the other thousand anymore who lived in that
• 3:36:48
  Speaker 1: what is eternal, who breathed what is divine. On one
• 3:36:54
  Speaker 1: of these days when so many went on a pilgrimage
• 3:36:57
  Speaker 1: to the dying Buddha, Kamala also went to him, who
• 3:37:02
  Speaker 1: used to be one of the most beautiful the Cortazans.
• 3:37:06
  Speaker 1: A long time ago, she had retired from her previous life,
• 3:37:11
  Speaker 1: had given her garden to the monks of Gatarma as
• 3:37:14
  Speaker 1: a gift, had taken her refuge in the teachings, was
• 3:37:18
  Speaker 1: among the friends and benefactors of the pilgrims. Together with Siddartha,
• 3:37:24
  Speaker 1: the boy, her son. She had gone on her way
• 3:37:28
  Speaker 1: due to the news of the near death of Gatarma.
• 3:37:32
  Speaker 1: In simple clothes on foot with her little son, she
• 3:37:37
  Speaker 1: was traveling by the river. But the boy had soon
• 3:37:41
  Speaker 1: grown tired, desired to go back home, desired to rest,
• 3:37:46
  Speaker 1: desired to eat, became disobedient and started whining. Kamala often
• 3:37:54
  Speaker 1: had to take a rest with him. He was accustomed
• 3:37:58
  Speaker 1: to having his way against her. She had to feed him,
• 3:38:02
  Speaker 1: had to comfort him, had to scold him. He did
• 3:38:07
  Speaker 1: not comprehend why he had to go on this exhausting
• 3:38:10
  Speaker 1: and sad pilgrimage with his mother to an unknown place,
• 3:38:15
  Speaker 1: to a stranger who was holy and about to die.
• 3:38:19
  Speaker 1: So what if he died? How did this concern the boy?
• 3:38:24
  Speaker 1: The pilgrims were getting close to Vasudeva's ferry when little
• 3:38:28
  Speaker 1: Saddhartha once again forced his mother to rest. She Kamala
• 3:38:34
  Speaker 1: herself had also become tired, and while the boy was
• 3:38:38
  Speaker 1: chewing a banana, she crouched down on the ground, closed
• 3:38:42
  Speaker 1: her eyes a bit, and rested, But suddenly she uttered
• 3:38:47
  Speaker 1: a wailing scream. The boy looked at her in fear
• 3:38:52
  Speaker 1: and saw her face having grown pale from horror, and
• 3:38:56
  Speaker 1: from under her dress a small black snake fled by
• 3:39:01
  Speaker 1: which Kamala had been bitten. Hurriedly, they now both ran
• 3:39:07
  Speaker 1: along the path in order to reach people, and got
• 3:39:11
  Speaker 1: near the ferry. There, Kamala collapsed and was not able
• 3:39:16
  Speaker 1: to go any further, but the boy started crying miserably,
• 3:39:21
  Speaker 1: only interrupting it to kiss and hug his mother, and
• 3:39:25
  Speaker 1: she also joined his loud screams for help until the
• 3:39:30
  Speaker 1: sound reached Vasu Diva's ears, who stood at the ferry.
• 3:39:35
  Speaker 1: Quickly he came walking, took the woman on his arms,
• 3:39:40
  Speaker 1: carried her into the boat. The boy ran along, and
• 3:39:44
  Speaker 1: soon they all reached the hut, where Siddartha stood by
• 3:39:48
  Speaker 1: the stove and was just lighting the fire. He looked
• 3:39:52
  Speaker 1: up and first saw the boy's face, which wondrously reminded
• 3:39:56
  Speaker 1: him of something like a warning to remember so something
• 3:40:00
  Speaker 1: he had forgotten. Then he saw Kamala, whom he instantly recognized,
• 3:40:06
  Speaker 1: though she lay unconscious in the ferry man's arms, And
• 3:40:10
  Speaker 1: now he knew that it was his own son whose
• 3:40:13
  Speaker 1: face had been such a warning reminder to him, and
• 3:40:17
  Speaker 1: the heart stirred in his chest. Kamala's wound was washed,
• 3:40:23
  Speaker 1: but had already turned black, and her body was swollen.
• 3:40:29
  Speaker 1: She was made to drink a healing potion. Her consciousness returned.
• 3:40:35
  Speaker 1: She lay on Siddartha's bed in the hut, and bent
• 3:40:38
  Speaker 1: over her stood Siddartha, who used to love her so
• 3:40:42
  Speaker 1: much it seemed like a dream to her. With a smile,
• 3:40:48
  Speaker 1: she looked at her friend's face. Just slowly she realized
• 3:40:53
  Speaker 1: her situation, remembered the bite called timidly for the boy.
• 3:41:01
  Speaker 1: He's with you. Don't worry, said sad Arthur. Kamala looked
• 3:41:06
  Speaker 1: into his eyes. She spoke with a heavy tongue, paralyzed
• 3:41:11
  Speaker 1: by the poison. You've become old, my dear, she said,
• 3:41:17
  Speaker 1: You've become gray. But you are like the young Samana
• 3:41:22
  Speaker 1: who at one time came without clothes with dusty feet
• 3:41:27
  Speaker 1: to me into the garden. You are much more like
• 3:41:31
  Speaker 1: him than you were like him at the time when
• 3:41:34
  Speaker 1: you had left me and come aswami. In the eyes,
• 3:41:39
  Speaker 1: you're like him, said Arthur. Alas I have also grown old. Old,
• 3:41:46
  Speaker 1: could you still recognize me? Said Arthur, smiled instantly, I
• 3:41:52
  Speaker 1: recognized you, Kamala, my dear. Kamala pointed to her boy
• 3:41:57
  Speaker 1: and said, did you recognize him as well? He is
• 3:42:01
  Speaker 1: your son. Her eyes became confused and fell shut. The
• 3:42:08
  Speaker 1: boy wept, said Arthur. Took him on his knees, let
• 3:42:13
  Speaker 1: him weep, petted his hair, and at the sight of
• 3:42:17
  Speaker 1: the child's face, a Brahman prayer came to his mind,
• 3:42:21
  Speaker 1: which he had learned a long time ago when he
• 3:42:25
  Speaker 1: had been a little boy himself. Slowly with a singing voice.
• 3:42:30
  Speaker 1: He started to speak from his past and childhood. The
• 3:42:35
  Speaker 1: words came flowing to him, and with that sing song,
• 3:42:40
  Speaker 1: the boy became calm. Was only now and then uttering
• 3:42:45
  Speaker 1: a sob and fell asleep, said Arthur. Placed him on
• 3:42:51
  Speaker 1: Vasudeva's bed. Vasudeva stood by the stove and cooked rice,
• 3:42:58
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. Gave him a look, which she returned with
• 3:43:01
  Speaker 1: a smile. She'll die sad, Arthur said quietly. Fasudeva nodded
• 3:43:10
  Speaker 1: over his friendly face, ran the light of the stove's fire.
• 3:43:15
  Speaker 1: Once again, Kamala returned to consciousness. Pain distorted her face,
• 3:43:21
  Speaker 1: said Arthur's eyes read the suffering on her mouth, on
• 3:43:25
  Speaker 1: her pale cheeks. Quietly, he read it attentively, waiting, his mind,
• 3:43:33
  Speaker 1: becoming one with her suffering. Kamala felt it. Her gaze
• 3:43:39
  Speaker 1: sought his eyes, looking at him. She said, now I
• 3:43:44
  Speaker 1: see that your eyes have changed as well. They've become
• 3:43:47
  Speaker 1: completely different. But what do I still recognize that you're
• 3:43:53
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. It's you and it's not you, Sir, Arthur
• 3:44:00
  Speaker 1: said nothing. Quietly, his eyes looked at hers. You have
• 3:44:05
  Speaker 1: achieved it, she asked, You have found peace. He smiled
• 3:44:11
  Speaker 1: and placed his hand on hers I'm seeing it, she said,
• 3:44:16
  Speaker 1: I'm seeing it. I too will find peace. You have
• 3:44:22
  Speaker 1: found it, said Arthur, spoke in a whisper. Kamala never
• 3:44:27
  Speaker 1: stopped looking into his eyes. She thought about her pilgrimage
• 3:44:32
  Speaker 1: to Gautama, which wanted to take in order to see
• 3:44:35
  Speaker 1: the face of the perfected One, to breathe his peace.
• 3:44:39
  Speaker 1: And she thought that she had now found him in
• 3:44:42
  Speaker 1: his place, and that it was good, just as good
• 3:44:46
  Speaker 1: as if she had seen the other one. She wanted
• 3:44:50
  Speaker 1: to tell this to him, but the tongue no longer
• 3:44:54
  Speaker 1: obeyed her will. Without speaking, she looked at him, and
• 3:44:59
  Speaker 1: he saw life fading from her eyes when the final
• 3:45:04
  Speaker 1: pain filled her eyes and made them grow dim, When
• 3:45:08
  Speaker 1: the final shiver ran through her limbs, his finger closed
• 3:45:14
  Speaker 1: her eyelids. For a long time, he sat and looked
• 3:45:19
  Speaker 1: at her peacefully dead face. For a long time, he
• 3:45:23
  Speaker 1: observed her mouth, her old tired mouth, with those lips
• 3:45:29
  Speaker 1: which had become thin, and he remembered that he used to,
• 3:45:34
  Speaker 1: in the spring of his years, compare this mouth with
• 3:45:37
  Speaker 1: a freshly cracked fig. For a long time he sat
• 3:45:42
  Speaker 1: red in the pale face, in the tired wrinkles, filled
• 3:45:47
  Speaker 1: himself with this sight saw his own face lying in
• 3:45:52
  Speaker 1: the same manner, just as white, just as quenched out,
• 3:45:58
  Speaker 1: and saw at the same time his face and hers
• 3:46:02
  Speaker 1: being young, with red lips, with fiery eyes, and the
• 3:46:07
  Speaker 1: feeling of this both being present and at the time real.
• 3:46:11
  Speaker 1: The feeling of eternity completely filled every aspect of his
• 3:46:17
  Speaker 1: being deeply. He felt, more deeply than ever before, in
• 3:46:23
  Speaker 1: this hour, the indestructibility of every life, the eternity of
• 3:46:30
  Speaker 1: every moment. When he rose, Vasudiva had prepared rice for him,
• 3:46:36
  Speaker 1: but Siddartha did not eat. In the stable where their
• 3:46:41
  Speaker 1: goats stood, the two old men prepared beds of straw
• 3:46:45
  Speaker 1: for themselves, and Vasudiva lay himself down to sleep. But
• 3:46:51
  Speaker 1: Siddhartha went outside and sat this night before the hut,
• 3:46:55
  Speaker 1: listening to the river, surrounded by the past, touched and
• 3:47:01
  Speaker 1: encircled by all times of his life at the same time.
• 3:47:06
  Speaker 1: But occasionally he rose, stepped to the door of the
• 3:47:10
  Speaker 1: hut and listened whether the boy was sleeping. Early in
• 3:47:16
  Speaker 1: the morning, even before the sun could be seen, Vasudeva
• 3:47:20
  Speaker 1: came out of the stable and walked over to his friend.
• 3:47:26
  Speaker 1: You haven't slept, he said, no, Vasudeva, I sat here
• 3:47:32
  Speaker 1: I was listening to the river a lot. It has
• 3:47:36
  Speaker 1: told me deeply. It has filled me with the healing thought,
• 3:47:41
  Speaker 1: with the thought of oneness. You've experienced suffering, said Arthur.
• 3:47:47
  Speaker 1: But I see no sadness has entered your heart. No,
• 3:47:52
  Speaker 1: my dear, how should I be sad? I who have
• 3:47:56
  Speaker 1: been rich and happy, have become even rich and happier.
• 3:48:01
  Speaker 1: Now my son has been given to me. Your son
• 3:48:07
  Speaker 1: shall be welcomed to me as well. But now, said Darthur,
• 3:48:12
  Speaker 1: let's get to work. There is much to be done.
• 3:48:15
  Speaker 1: Kamala has died on the same bed on which my
• 3:48:19
  Speaker 1: wife had died a long time ago. Let us also
• 3:48:24
  Speaker 1: build Kamala's funeral pile on the same hill on which
• 3:48:29
  Speaker 1: I had then built my wife's funeral pile. While the
• 3:48:34
  Speaker 1: boy was still asleep, they built the funeral pile. End
• 3:48:40
  Speaker 1: of chapter nine, Chapter ten, the sun timid and weeping,
• 3:48:48
  Speaker 1: the boy had attended his mother's funeral. Gloomy and shy.
• 3:48:53
  Speaker 1: He had listened to Siddartha, who greeted him as his
• 3:48:56
  Speaker 1: son and welcomed him at his place in vas Adiva's
• 3:49:00
  Speaker 1: hut pale. He sat for many days by the heel
• 3:49:04
  Speaker 1: of the dead, did not want to eat, gave no
• 3:49:08
  Speaker 1: open look, did not open his heart, met his fate
• 3:49:13
  Speaker 1: with resistance and denial. Said Arthur spared him and let
• 3:49:18
  Speaker 1: him do as he pleased. He honored his mourning. Sir
• 3:49:22
  Speaker 1: Arthur understood that his son did not know him, that
• 3:49:25
  Speaker 1: he could not love him like a father. Slowly, he
• 3:49:30
  Speaker 1: also saw and understood that the eleven year old was
• 3:49:34
  Speaker 1: a pampered boy, a mother's boy, and that he had
• 3:49:38
  Speaker 1: grown up in the habits of rich people, accustomed to
• 3:49:41
  Speaker 1: finer food, to a soft bed, accustomed to giving orders
• 3:49:46
  Speaker 1: to servants. Sir Arthur understood that the morning pampered child
• 3:49:52
  Speaker 1: could not suddenly and willingly be content with a life
• 3:49:55
  Speaker 1: among strangers and in poverty. He did not force him.
• 3:50:00
  Speaker 1: He did many a chore for him, always picked the
• 3:50:04
  Speaker 1: best piece of the meal for him. Slowly he hoped
• 3:50:07
  Speaker 1: to win him over by friendly patience. Rich and happy,
• 3:50:11
  Speaker 1: he had called himself when the boy had come to him.
• 3:50:16
  Speaker 1: Since time had passed on in the meanwhile, and the
• 3:50:19
  Speaker 1: boy remained a stranger and in a gloomy disposition, since
• 3:50:23
  Speaker 1: he displayed a proud and stubbornly disobedient heart, did not
• 3:50:27
  Speaker 1: want to do any work, did not pay his respect
• 3:50:30
  Speaker 1: to the old men, stole from Vasudiva's fruit trees. Then
• 3:50:36
  Speaker 1: Siddarthur began to understand that his son had not brought
• 3:50:40
  Speaker 1: him happiness and peace, but suffering and worry. But he
• 3:50:45
  Speaker 1: loved him, and he preferred the suffering and worries of
• 3:50:49
  Speaker 1: love over happiness and joy without the boy. Since young
• 3:50:54
  Speaker 1: Siddarthur was in the hut, the old man had split
• 3:50:57
  Speaker 1: the work. Vasudiva had again taken on the job of
• 3:51:02
  Speaker 1: the fairy man all by himself, and said Arthur, in
• 3:51:06
  Speaker 1: order to be with his son, did the work in
• 3:51:08
  Speaker 1: the hut and in the field for a long time.
• 3:51:13
  Speaker 1: For long months, said Arthur, waited for his son to
• 3:51:16
  Speaker 1: understand him, to accept his love, to perhaps reciprocate it.
• 3:51:22
  Speaker 1: For long months, Vasudiva waited, watching, waited, and said nothing.
• 3:51:29
  Speaker 1: One day, when said Arthur the younger had once again
• 3:51:32
  Speaker 1: tormented his father very much with spite and an unsteadiness
• 3:51:37
  Speaker 1: in his wishes, and had broken both of his rice bowls,
• 3:51:41
  Speaker 1: Vasudeva took in the evening his friend aside and talked
• 3:51:45
  Speaker 1: to him. Pardon me, he said, from a friendly heart,
• 3:51:50
  Speaker 1: I am talking to you. I am seeing that you
• 3:51:53
  Speaker 1: are tormenting yourself. I am seeing that you're in grief.
• 3:51:58
  Speaker 1: Your son, my dear, is worrying you, and he is
• 3:52:02
  Speaker 1: also worrying me. That young bird is accustomed to a
• 3:52:06
  Speaker 1: different life, to a different nest. He has not, like you,
• 3:52:11
  Speaker 1: run away from riches and the city, being disgusted and
• 3:52:15
  Speaker 1: fed up with it. Against his will, he had to
• 3:52:18
  Speaker 1: leave all this behind. I ask the river friend, many
• 3:52:24
  Speaker 1: times I have asked it. But the river laughs. It
• 3:52:28
  Speaker 1: laughs at me, It laughs at you and me, and
• 3:52:31
  Speaker 1: is shaking with laughter at our foolishness. Water wants to
• 3:52:36
  Speaker 1: join water. Youth wants to join youth. Your son is
• 3:52:42
  Speaker 1: not in the place where he can prosper. You too,
• 3:52:46
  Speaker 1: should ask the river. You too should listen to it.
• 3:52:51
  Speaker 1: Said Arthur, looked into his friendly face, in the many
• 3:52:54
  Speaker 1: wrinkles of which there was an incessant cheerfulness. How could
• 3:52:59
  Speaker 1: I puss with him, he said, quietly, ashamed. Give me
• 3:53:04
  Speaker 1: some more time, my dear. See, I'm fighting for him.
• 3:53:08
  Speaker 1: I'm seeking to win his heart with love and with
• 3:53:11
  Speaker 1: friendly patience. I intend to capture it. One day, the
• 3:53:16
  Speaker 1: river shall also talk to him. He also is called upon.
• 3:53:23
  Speaker 1: Vasudeva's smile flourished more warmly. Oh, yes, he too is
• 3:53:29
  Speaker 1: called upon, He too is of the eternal life. But
• 3:53:34
  Speaker 1: do we, you and me know what he is called
• 3:53:37
  Speaker 1: upon to do? What path to take, what actions to perform,
• 3:53:43
  Speaker 1: what pain to endure? Not a small one his pain
• 3:53:48
  Speaker 1: will be after all, his heart is proud and hard.
• 3:53:52
  Speaker 1: People like this have to suffer a lot, oer a lot,
• 3:53:56
  Speaker 1: do much injustice, burden themselves with sin. Tell me, my dear,
• 3:54:03
  Speaker 1: you're not taking control of your son's upbringing. You don't
• 3:54:06
  Speaker 1: force him, you don't beat him, you don't punish him.
• 3:54:11
  Speaker 1: No vasudiva, I don't do anything of this. I knew it.
• 3:54:16
  Speaker 1: You don't force him, don't beat him, don't give him orders,
• 3:54:20
  Speaker 1: because you know that soft is stronger than hard, water,
• 3:54:25
  Speaker 1: stronger than rocks, love stronger than force. Very good, I
• 3:54:31
  Speaker 1: praise you, But aren't you mistaken in thinking that you
• 3:54:35
  Speaker 1: wouldn't force him, wouldn't punish him. Don't you shackle him
• 3:54:39
  Speaker 1: with your love? Don't you make him feel inferior every day?
• 3:54:44
  Speaker 1: And don't you make it even harder on him with
• 3:54:46
  Speaker 1: your kindness and patience. Don't you force him, the arrogant
• 3:54:51
  Speaker 1: and pampered boy, to live in a hut with two
• 3:54:54
  Speaker 1: old banana eaters, to whom even rice is a delicacy,
• 3:54:58
  Speaker 1: whose thoughts can't be his, whose hearts are old and quiet,
• 3:55:04
  Speaker 1: and beats in a different pace than his. Isn't forced?
• 3:55:08
  Speaker 1: Isn't he punished by all this? Troubled? Said Arthur, look
• 3:55:13
  Speaker 1: to the ground quietly, he asked, what do you think
• 3:55:18
  Speaker 1: I should do, quoth Fasudeva. Bring him into the city,
• 3:55:24
  Speaker 1: Bring him into his mother's house. There'll still be servants around,
• 3:55:28
  Speaker 1: give him to them. And when there aren't any around
• 3:55:32
  Speaker 1: any more, bring him to a teacher, not for the
• 3:55:35
  Speaker 1: teaching's sake, but so that he shall be among other boys,
• 3:55:39
  Speaker 1: and among girls, and in the world which is his own.
• 3:55:43
  Speaker 1: Have you never thought of this? You're seeing into my heart?
• 3:55:49
  Speaker 1: Said Arthur, spoke sadly. Often, I have thought of this.
• 3:55:53
  Speaker 1: But look, how shall I put him, who had no
• 3:55:57
  Speaker 1: tender heart anyhow? Into this world? Won't he become exuberant?
• 3:56:02
  Speaker 1: Won't he lose himself to pleasure and power? Won't he
• 3:56:06
  Speaker 1: repeat all of his father's mistakes? Won't he perhaps get
• 3:56:10
  Speaker 1: entirely lost? In Sansarah? Brightly, the ferryman smiled, lit up softly.
• 3:56:18
  Speaker 1: He touched Sadarthur's arm and said, ask the river. About it,
• 3:56:22
  Speaker 1: my friend, hear it, laugh about it? Would you actually
• 3:56:27
  Speaker 1: believe that you had committed your foolish acts in order
• 3:56:30
  Speaker 1: to spare your son from committing them too? And could
• 3:56:34
  Speaker 1: you in any way protect your son from Sansarah? How
• 3:56:39
  Speaker 1: could you by means of teachings, prayer, admonition, My dear,
• 3:56:45
  Speaker 1: have you entirely forgotten that story, that story containing so
• 3:56:50
  Speaker 1: many lessons, That story about Saddhartha, a Brahman son, which
• 3:56:56
  Speaker 1: you once told me here on this very spot, Who
• 3:57:00
  Speaker 1: has kept a Samana Saddhartha's safe from Sansara, from sin,
• 3:57:05
  Speaker 1: from greed, from foolishness. Were his father's religious devotion, his
• 3:57:11
  Speaker 1: teacher's warnings, his own knowledge, his own search able to
• 3:57:16
  Speaker 1: keep him safe. Which father, which teacher had been able
• 3:57:21
  Speaker 1: to protect him from living his life for himself, from
• 3:57:24
  Speaker 1: soiling himself with life, from burdening himself with guilt, from
• 3:57:29
  Speaker 1: drinking the bitter drink for himself, from finding his path
• 3:57:34
  Speaker 1: for himself. Would you think, my dear, anybody might perhaps
• 3:57:39
  Speaker 1: be spared from taking this path, That perhaps your little
• 3:57:43
  Speaker 1: son would be spared because you love him, because you
• 3:57:46
  Speaker 1: would like to keep him safe, because you would like
• 3:57:50
  Speaker 1: to keep him from suffering and pain and disappointment. But
• 3:57:54
  Speaker 1: even if you would die ten times for him, you
• 3:57:57
  Speaker 1: would not be able to take the slightest part of
• 3:57:59
  Speaker 1: his life destiny upon yourself. Never before Vasudeva had spoken
• 3:58:06
  Speaker 1: so many words kindly. Siddhartha thanked him, went troubled into
• 3:58:12
  Speaker 1: the heart, could not sleep for a long time. Vasudeva
• 3:58:17
  Speaker 1: had told him nothing he had not already thought and
• 3:58:21
  Speaker 1: known for himself. But this was a knowledge he could
• 3:58:25
  Speaker 1: not act upon. Stronger than the knowledge was his love
• 3:58:29
  Speaker 1: for the boy. Stronger was his tenderness, his fear to
• 3:58:33
  Speaker 1: lose him. Had he ever lost his heart so much
• 3:58:37
  Speaker 1: to something? Had he ever loved any person thus thus blindly,
• 3:58:43
  Speaker 1: thus sufferingly, thus unsuccessfully, and yet thus happily. Siddartha could
• 3:58:52
  Speaker 1: not heed his friend's advice. He could not give up
• 3:58:55
  Speaker 1: the boy. He let the boy give him orders, he
• 3:58:59
  Speaker 1: let him disregard him. He said nothing and waited daily.
• 3:59:04
  Speaker 1: He began the mute struggle of friendliness, the silent war
• 3:59:08
  Speaker 1: of patience. Vasu Diva said nothing and waited, friendly, knowing patient.
• 3:59:17
  Speaker 1: They were both masters of patience. At one time, when
• 3:59:22
  Speaker 1: the boy's face reminded him very much of Kamala Saddarthur
• 3:59:26
  Speaker 1: suddenly had to think of a line which Kamala, a
• 3:59:30
  Speaker 1: long time ago, in the days of their youth, had
• 3:59:33
  Speaker 1: once said to him. You cannot love, she had said
• 3:59:37
  Speaker 1: to him, And he had agreed with her, and had
• 3:59:39
  Speaker 1: compared himself to a star while comparing the childlike people
• 3:59:44
  Speaker 1: with falling leaves. And nevertheless, he had also sensed an
• 3:59:48
  Speaker 1: accusation in that line. Indeed, he had never been able
• 3:59:52
  Speaker 1: to lose or devote himself completely to another person, to
• 3:59:56
  Speaker 1: forget himself, to commit foolish acts for the love of
• 4:00:00
  Speaker 1: another person. Never he had been able to do this.
• 4:00:05
  Speaker 1: And this was, as it seemed to him at that time,
• 4:00:08
  Speaker 1: the great distinction which set him apart from the childlike people.
• 4:00:13
  Speaker 1: But now, since his son was here, now, he said,
• 4:00:17
  Speaker 1: Arthur had become completely a childlike person suffering for the
• 4:00:22
  Speaker 1: sake of another person, loving another person, lost to a love,
• 4:00:28
  Speaker 1: having become a fool on account of love. Now he
• 4:00:32
  Speaker 1: too felt late. Once in his lifetime, this strongest and
• 4:00:37
  Speaker 1: strangest of all passions, suffered from it, suffered miserably, and
• 4:00:43
  Speaker 1: was nevertheless in bliss, was nevertheless renewed in one respect,
• 4:00:50
  Speaker 1: enriched by the one thing. He did sense very well
• 4:00:55
  Speaker 1: that his love, this blind love for his son, was
• 4:00:58
  Speaker 1: a passion, very human, that it was sansara, a murky source,
• 4:01:05
  Speaker 1: dark waters. Nevertheless, he felt at the same time it
• 4:01:10
  Speaker 1: was not worthless. It was necessary, came from the essence
• 4:01:14
  Speaker 1: of his own being. This pleasure also had to be
• 4:01:18
  Speaker 1: atoned for. This pain also had to be endured. These
• 4:01:23
  Speaker 1: foolish acts also had to be committed. Through all this
• 4:01:28
  Speaker 1: the son. Let him commit his foolish acts, let him
• 4:01:32
  Speaker 1: court for his affection, let him humiliate himself every day
• 4:01:36
  Speaker 1: by giving in to his moods. This father had nothing
• 4:01:41
  Speaker 1: which could have delighted him, and nothing which he would
• 4:01:44
  Speaker 1: have feared. He was a good man, this father, a good, kind,
• 4:01:50
  Speaker 1: soft man, perhaps a very devout man, perhaps a saint.
• 4:01:56
  Speaker 1: All these were no attributes which could win the boy over.
• 4:02:00
  Speaker 1: He was bored by his father, who kept him prisoner
• 4:02:04
  Speaker 1: here in this miserable heart of his He was bored
• 4:02:08
  Speaker 1: by him. And for him to answer every naughtiness with
• 4:02:12
  Speaker 1: a smile, every insult with friendliness, every viciousness with kindness.
• 4:02:19
  Speaker 1: This very thing was the hated trick of this old sneak.
• 4:02:24
  Speaker 1: Much more the boy would have liked it if he
• 4:02:27
  Speaker 1: had been threatened by him, if he had been abused
• 4:02:30
  Speaker 1: by him. A day came when what young Siddhartha had
• 4:02:34
  Speaker 1: on his mind came bursting forth, and he openly turned
• 4:02:39
  Speaker 1: against his father. The latter had given him a task.
• 4:02:44
  Speaker 1: He had told him to gather brushwood, but the boy
• 4:02:47
  Speaker 1: did not leave the hut. In stubborn disobedience and rage.
• 4:02:52
  Speaker 1: He stayed where he was thumped on the ground with
• 4:02:55
  Speaker 1: his feet clenched his fists and screamed in a powerful
• 4:02:59
  Speaker 1: out rust his hatred and contempt into his father's face.
• 4:03:05
  Speaker 1: Get the brushwood for yourself, he shouted, foaming at the mouth.
• 4:03:10
  Speaker 1: I'm not your servant. I do know that you won't
• 4:03:13
  Speaker 1: hit me. You don't dare. I do know that you
• 4:03:17
  Speaker 1: constantly want to punish me and put me down with
• 4:03:20
  Speaker 1: your religious devotion and your indulgence. You want me to
• 4:03:25
  Speaker 1: become like you, just as devout, just as soft, just
• 4:03:30
  Speaker 1: as wise. But I listen up just to make you suffer.
• 4:03:36
  Speaker 1: I rather want to become a highway robber and a
• 4:03:39
  Speaker 1: murderer and to go to hell than to become like you.
• 4:03:44
  Speaker 1: I hate you. You're not my father, and if you've
• 4:03:47
  Speaker 1: been ten times my mother's fornicata. Rage and grief boiled
• 4:03:53
  Speaker 1: over in him, foamed at the father in a hundred
• 4:03:56
  Speaker 1: savage and evil words. Then the boy ran away and
• 4:04:00
  Speaker 1: only returned late at night. But the next morning he
• 4:04:05
  Speaker 1: had disappeared. What had also disappeared was a small basket
• 4:04:09
  Speaker 1: woven out of bast of two colors, in which the
• 4:04:12
  Speaker 1: ferrymen kept those copper and silver coins which they received
• 4:04:16
  Speaker 1: as a fair. The boat had also disappeared. Sad Darthur
• 4:04:21
  Speaker 1: sought it, lying by the opposite bank. The boy had
• 4:04:25
  Speaker 1: run away. I must follow him, said Sadarthur, who had
• 4:04:30
  Speaker 1: been shivering with grief since those ranting speeches the boy
• 4:04:34
  Speaker 1: had made yesterday. A child can't go through the forest
• 4:04:37
  Speaker 1: all alone. He'll perish. We must build a raft, Vasudeva,
• 4:04:43
  Speaker 1: to get over the water. We will build a raft,
• 4:04:47
  Speaker 1: said Vasudeva, to get our boat back, which the boy
• 4:04:51
  Speaker 1: has taken away. But him, you shall let run along,
• 4:04:55
  Speaker 1: my friend, he is no child anymore. He knows how
• 4:05:00
  Speaker 1: to get around. He's looking for the path to the city,
• 4:05:04
  Speaker 1: and he is right. Don't forget that. He's doing what
• 4:05:08
  Speaker 1: you've failed to do yourself. He's taking care of himself.
• 4:05:12
  Speaker 1: He's taking his course Alas said, Arthur, I see you suffering,
• 4:05:18
  Speaker 1: but you're suffering a pain at which one would like
• 4:05:22
  Speaker 1: to laugh, at which you'll soon laugh for yourself. Sadd
• 4:05:27
  Speaker 1: Arthur did not answer. He already held the axe in
• 4:05:31
  Speaker 1: his hands and began to make a raft of bamboo,
• 4:05:34
  Speaker 1: and Vasudeva helped him to tie the canes together with
• 4:05:38
  Speaker 1: ropes of grass. Then they crossed over, drifted far off
• 4:05:43
  Speaker 1: their course, pulled the raft up river on the opposite bank.
• 4:05:48
  Speaker 1: Why did you take the axe along, asked Siddarthur. Vasudeva said,
• 4:05:54
  Speaker 1: it might have been possible that the oar of our
• 4:05:57
  Speaker 1: boat got lost. But Siddhartha knew what his friend was thinking.
• 4:06:02
  Speaker 1: He thought the boy would have thrown away or broken
• 4:06:06
  Speaker 1: the oar in order to get even and in order
• 4:06:09
  Speaker 1: to keep them from following him, And in fact, there
• 4:06:13
  Speaker 1: was no owe left in the boat. Fasudeva pointed at
• 4:06:17
  Speaker 1: the bottom of the boat and looked at his friend
• 4:06:20
  Speaker 1: with a smile, as if he wanted to say, don't
• 4:06:23
  Speaker 1: you see what your son is trying to tell you?
• 4:06:26
  Speaker 1: Don't you see that he doesn't want to be followed?
• 4:06:30
  Speaker 1: But he did not say this in words. He started
• 4:06:33
  Speaker 1: making a new awe, but Siddartha bid his farewell to
• 4:06:38
  Speaker 1: look for the runaway Fasudeva did not stop him. When
• 4:06:44
  Speaker 1: Siddartha had already been walking through the forest for a
• 4:06:47
  Speaker 1: long time, the thought occurred to him that his search
• 4:06:51
  Speaker 1: was useless. Either so he thought the boy was far
• 4:06:55
  Speaker 1: ahead and had already reached the city, or if he
• 4:06:59
  Speaker 1: should still beyond his way, he would conceal himself from
• 4:07:03
  Speaker 1: him the pursuer. As he continued thinking, he also found
• 4:07:08
  Speaker 1: that he, on his part, was not worried for his son,
• 4:07:12
  Speaker 1: for he knew deep inside that he had neither perished
• 4:07:16
  Speaker 1: nor was in any danger in the forest. Nevertheless, he
• 4:07:20
  Speaker 1: ran without stopping, no longer to save him, just to
• 4:07:23
  Speaker 1: satisfy his desire, just to perhaps see him one more time.
• 4:07:29
  Speaker 1: And he ran up to just outside the city. When
• 4:07:34
  Speaker 1: near the city he reached a wide road, he stopped
• 4:07:37
  Speaker 1: by the entrance of the beautiful pleasure garden, which used
• 4:07:41
  Speaker 1: to belong to Kamala, where he had seen her for
• 4:07:43
  Speaker 1: the first time in her sedan chair. The past rose
• 4:07:48
  Speaker 1: up in his soul again. He saw himself standing there, young,
• 4:07:53
  Speaker 1: a bearded, naked Samana, his hair full of dust. For
• 4:07:59
  Speaker 1: a long time, so Arthur stood there and looked through
• 4:08:02
  Speaker 1: the open gate into the garden, seeing monks in yellow
• 4:08:05
  Speaker 1: robes walking among the beautiful trees. For a long time,
• 4:08:10
  Speaker 1: he stood there, pondering, seeing images, listening to the story
• 4:08:15
  Speaker 1: of his life. For a long time, he stood there,
• 4:08:19
  Speaker 1: looked at the monks, saw young Saindartha in their place,
• 4:08:23
  Speaker 1: saw young Kamala walking among the high trees. Clearly, he
• 4:08:29
  Speaker 1: saw himself being served food and drink by Kamala, receiving
• 4:08:33
  Speaker 1: his first kiss from her, looking proudly and disdainfully back
• 4:08:38
  Speaker 1: on his Brahminism, beginning proudly and full of desire his
• 4:08:44
  Speaker 1: worldly life. He saw Kamaswami, saw the servants, the orgies,
• 4:08:50
  Speaker 1: the gamblers with the dice, the musicians, saw Kamala's songbird
• 4:08:56
  Speaker 1: in the cage live. Through all this, once again breathed Sansara.
• 4:09:03
  Speaker 1: Was once again old and tired, felt once again disgusted,
• 4:09:09
  Speaker 1: felt once again the wish to annihilate himself, was once
• 4:09:14
  Speaker 1: again healed by the holy om. After having been standing
• 4:09:19
  Speaker 1: at the gate of the garden for a long time,
• 4:09:21
  Speaker 1: Saddarthur realized that his desire was foolish, which had made
• 4:09:25
  Speaker 1: him go up to this place, that he could not
• 4:09:28
  Speaker 1: help his son, that he was not allowed to cling
• 4:09:32
  Speaker 1: him deeply. He felt the love for the runaway in
• 4:09:36
  Speaker 1: his heart like a wound, And he felt at the
• 4:09:40
  Speaker 1: same time that this wound had not been given to
• 4:09:42
  Speaker 1: him in order to turn the knife in it, that
• 4:09:45
  Speaker 1: it had to become a blossom and had to shine.
• 4:09:50
  Speaker 1: That this wound did not blossom, yet did not shine
• 4:09:54
  Speaker 1: yet at this hour made him sad. Instead of the
• 4:09:59
  Speaker 1: desired goal which had drawn him here following the runaway sun,
• 4:10:04
  Speaker 1: there was now emptiness. Sadly he sat down, felt something
• 4:10:09
  Speaker 1: dying in his heart, experienced emptiness, saw no joy anymore,
• 4:10:16
  Speaker 1: no goal. He sat last in thought and waited. This
• 4:10:22
  Speaker 1: he had learned by the river, this one thing waiting,
• 4:10:27
  Speaker 1: having patience, listening attentively, And he sat and listened in
• 4:10:33
  Speaker 1: the dust of the road, listened to his heart beating
• 4:10:37
  Speaker 1: tiredly and sadly waited for a voice. Many an hour
• 4:10:43
  Speaker 1: he crouched listening, saw no images anymore, fell into emptiness,
• 4:10:50
  Speaker 1: let himself fall without seeing a path, And when he
• 4:10:54
  Speaker 1: felt the wound burning, he silently spoke the olm, filled
• 4:11:00
  Speaker 1: himself with om the monks in the garden saw him,
• 4:11:05
  Speaker 1: And since he crouched there for many hours, and dust
• 4:11:08
  Speaker 1: was gathering on his gray hair. One of them came
• 4:11:11
  Speaker 1: to him and placed two bananas in front of him.
• 4:11:16
  Speaker 1: The old man did not see him. From this petrified state,
• 4:11:20
  Speaker 1: he was awoken by a hand touching his shoulder. Instantly
• 4:11:25
  Speaker 1: he recognized this touch, this tender, bashful touch, and regained
• 4:11:30
  Speaker 1: his senses. He rose and greeted Vasudeva, who had followed him.
• 4:11:36
  Speaker 1: And when he looked into Vasudeva's friendly face, into the
• 4:11:40
  Speaker 1: small wrinkles, which were as if they were filled with nothing,
• 4:11:44
  Speaker 1: but his smile, into the happy eyes, then he smiled too.
• 4:11:51
  Speaker 1: Now he saw the bananas lying in front of him,
• 4:11:54
  Speaker 1: picked them up, gave one to the ferry man ate
• 4:11:58
  Speaker 1: the other one himself. After this, he silently went back
• 4:12:02
  Speaker 1: into the forest with Vasudiva returned home to the fairy.
• 4:12:08
  Speaker 1: Neither one talked about what had happened to day. Neither
• 4:12:11
  Speaker 1: one mentioned the boy's name, neither one spoke about him
• 4:12:16
  Speaker 1: running away, neither one spoke about the wound in the hut.
• 4:12:21
  Speaker 1: Said Arthur lay down on his bed, and when after
• 4:12:25
  Speaker 1: a while Vasudeva came to him to offer him a
• 4:12:28
  Speaker 1: bowl of cocoanut milk, he already found him asleep, end
• 4:12:35
  Speaker 1: of chapter ten, Chapter eleven OLM. For a long time,
• 4:12:42
  Speaker 1: the wound continued to burn. Many A traveler said, Arthur
• 4:12:46
  Speaker 1: had to ferry across the river who was accompanied by
• 4:12:49
  Speaker 1: a son or a daughter, and he saw none of
• 4:12:52
  Speaker 1: them without envying him, without thinking, so many, so many
• 4:12:58
  Speaker 1: thousands possessed this sweetest of good fortunes. Why don't I
• 4:13:03
  Speaker 1: even bad people, even thieves and robbers, have children and
• 4:13:07
  Speaker 1: love them, and are being loved by them, all except
• 4:13:12
  Speaker 1: for me? Thus simply, thus, without reason, he now thought, Thus,
• 4:13:18
  Speaker 1: similar to the childlike people, he had become differently than before.
• 4:13:23
  Speaker 1: He now looked upon people less smart, less proud, but
• 4:13:29
  Speaker 1: instead warmer, more curious, more involved. When he ferried travelers
• 4:13:34
  Speaker 1: of the ordinary kind, childlike people, business men, warriors, women,
• 4:13:40
  Speaker 1: these people did not seem alien to him as they
• 4:13:43
  Speaker 1: used to. He understood them, He understood and shared their life,
• 4:13:48
  Speaker 1: which was not guided by thoughts and insight, but solely
• 4:13:52
  Speaker 1: by urges and wishes. He felt like them. Though he
• 4:13:57
  Speaker 1: was near perfection and was bare his final wound, it
• 4:14:01
  Speaker 1: seemed to him as if those childlike people were his brothers.
• 4:14:06
  Speaker 1: Their vanities, desires for possession, and ridiculous aspects were no
• 4:14:11
  Speaker 1: longer ridiculous to him, became understandable, became lovable, and even
• 4:14:17
  Speaker 1: became worthy of veneration to him. The blind love of
• 4:14:21
  Speaker 1: a mother for her child, the stupid, blind pride of
• 4:14:25
  Speaker 1: a conceited father for his only son, the blind, wild
• 4:14:30
  Speaker 1: desire of a young, vain woman for jewelry and admiring
• 4:14:33
  Speaker 1: glances from men. All of these urges, all of this
• 4:14:38
  Speaker 1: childish stuff, all of these simple, foolish, but immensely strong,
• 4:14:44
  Speaker 1: strongly living, strongly prevailing urges and desires, were now no
• 4:14:50
  Speaker 1: childish notions for said Arthur any more. He saw people
• 4:14:54
  Speaker 1: living for their sake, saw them achieving infinitely much for
• 4:14:59
  Speaker 1: their sake, traveling, conducting wars, suffering infinitely much, bearing infinitely much,
• 4:15:07
  Speaker 1: And he could love them for it. He saw life,
• 4:15:10
  Speaker 1: that what is alive, the indestructible, the brahmin. In each
• 4:15:15
  Speaker 1: of their passions, each of their acts worthy of love
• 4:15:20
  Speaker 1: and admiration. Were these people in their blind loyalty, their
• 4:15:24
  Speaker 1: blind strength and tenacity, they lacked nothing, There was nothing.
• 4:15:30
  Speaker 1: The knowledgeable one, the thinker, had put himself above them,
• 4:15:35
  Speaker 1: except for one thing, a single, tiny, small thing, the consciousness,
• 4:15:41
  Speaker 1: the conscious thought of the oneness of all life, And
• 4:15:46
  Speaker 1: said Arthur, even doubted in many an hour whether this knowledge,
• 4:15:50
  Speaker 1: this thought, was to be valued thus highly, whether it
• 4:15:54
  Speaker 1: might also perhaps be a childish idea of the thinking people,
• 4:15:58
  Speaker 1: of the thinking air, childlike people. In all other respects,
• 4:16:04
  Speaker 1: the worldly people were of equal rank to the wise
• 4:16:07
  Speaker 1: men were often far superior to them, just as animals too,
• 4:16:12
  Speaker 1: can after in some moments, seemed to be superior to
• 4:16:15
  Speaker 1: humans in their tough, unrelenting performance of what is necessary.
• 4:16:21
  Speaker 1: Slowly blossomed, slowly ripened in said Arthur, the realization, the knowledge,
• 4:16:28
  Speaker 1: what wisdom actually was, what the goal of his long
• 4:16:31
  Speaker 1: search was. It was nothing but a readiness of the soul,
• 4:16:37
  Speaker 1: an ability, a secret art to think every moment while
• 4:16:41
  Speaker 1: living his life, the thought of oneness, to be able
• 4:16:45
  Speaker 1: to feel and inhale the oneness. Slowly this blossomed in him,
• 4:16:51
  Speaker 1: was shining back at him from Vasudeva's old childlike face, harmony,
• 4:16:57
  Speaker 1: knowledge of the eternal perfection of the world, smiling oneness.
• 4:17:04
  Speaker 1: But the wound still burned, longingly and bitterly, said Darthur.
• 4:17:09
  Speaker 1: Thought of his son, nurtured his love and tenderness in
• 4:17:13
  Speaker 1: his heart allowed the pain to gnaw at him committed
• 4:17:18
  Speaker 1: all foolish acts of love, not by itself, this flame
• 4:17:23
  Speaker 1: would go out, And one day, when the wound burned violently,
• 4:17:28
  Speaker 1: SidD Arthur ferried across the river, driven by a yearning,
• 4:17:33
  Speaker 1: got off the boat and was willing to go to
• 4:17:35
  Speaker 1: the city and to look for his son. The river
• 4:17:39
  Speaker 1: flowed softly and quietly. It was the dry season, but
• 4:17:43
  Speaker 1: its voice sounded strange. It laughed, It laughed clearly. The
• 4:17:49
  Speaker 1: river laughed. It laughed brightly and clearly at the old
• 4:17:53
  Speaker 1: fairy man. Siddarthur stopped. He bent over the water in
• 4:17:58
  Speaker 1: order to hear even better, and he saw his face
• 4:18:01
  Speaker 1: reflected in the quietly moving waters. And in this reflected
• 4:18:05
  Speaker 1: face there was something which reminded him, something he had forgotten.
• 4:18:10
  Speaker 1: And as he thought about it, he found it. His
• 4:18:13
  Speaker 1: face resembled another face which he used to know and
• 4:18:17
  Speaker 1: love and also fear. It resembled his father's face, the Brahmin,
• 4:18:24
  Speaker 1: And he remembered how he, a long time ago, as
• 4:18:27
  Speaker 1: a young man, had forced his father to let him
• 4:18:30
  Speaker 1: go to the penitents, how he had bade his farewell
• 4:18:33
  Speaker 1: to him, how he had gone and had never come back.
• 4:18:38
  Speaker 1: Had his father not also suffered the same pain for
• 4:18:42
  Speaker 1: him which he now suffered for his son. Had his
• 4:18:46
  Speaker 1: father not long since died alone without having seen his
• 4:18:51
  Speaker 1: son again, did he not have to expect the same
• 4:18:55
  Speaker 1: fate for himself? Was it not a comedy, a strange
• 4:19:00
  Speaker 1: and stupid matter, this repetition, this running around in a
• 4:19:05
  Speaker 1: fateful circle? The river laughed. Yes, so it was. Everything
• 4:19:11
  Speaker 1: came back which had not been suffered and solved up
• 4:19:14
  Speaker 1: to its end. The same pain was suffered over and
• 4:19:17
  Speaker 1: over again. But said Arthur went back into the boat
• 4:19:22
  Speaker 1: and ferried back to the hut, thinking of his father,
• 4:19:26
  Speaker 1: thinking of his son, laughed at by the river, at
• 4:19:30
  Speaker 1: odds with himself, tending towards despair, and not less tending
• 4:19:35
  Speaker 1: towards laughing along at himself and the entire world. Alas
• 4:19:41
  Speaker 1: the wound was not blossoming again, his heart was still
• 4:19:46
  Speaker 1: fighting his fate. Cheerfulness and victory were not yet shining
• 4:19:50
  Speaker 1: from his suffering. Nevertheless, he felt hope, and once he
• 4:19:55
  Speaker 1: had returned to the hut, he felt an undefeatable desire
• 4:19:58
  Speaker 1: to open up to Bassadeva, to show him everything. The
• 4:20:03
  Speaker 1: master of listening to say everything, Vasudeva was sitting in
• 4:20:09
  Speaker 1: the hut and weaving a basket. He no longer used
• 4:20:13
  Speaker 1: the ferry boat. His eyes were starting to get weak,
• 4:20:17
  Speaker 1: and not just his eyes, his arms and hands as well.
• 4:20:21
  Speaker 1: Unchanging and flourishing. Was only the joy and the cheerful
• 4:20:26
  Speaker 1: benevolence of his face. Sir Arthur sat down next to
• 4:20:30
  Speaker 1: the old man. Slowly he started talking what they had
• 4:20:34
  Speaker 1: never talked about. He now told him of of his
• 4:20:38
  Speaker 1: walk to the city at that time, of the burning wound,
• 4:20:43
  Speaker 1: of his envy at the sight of happy fathers, of
• 4:20:46
  Speaker 1: his knowledge of the foolishness of such wishes, of his
• 4:20:50
  Speaker 1: futile fight against them. He reported everything he was able
• 4:20:55
  Speaker 1: to say, everything, even the most embarrassing parts. Everything would
• 4:21:00
  Speaker 1: be said, everything shown. Everything he could tell, he presented
• 4:21:06
  Speaker 1: his wound. Also told how he fled today, how he
• 4:21:10
  Speaker 1: ferried across the water, a childlike runaway, willing to walk
• 4:21:15
  Speaker 1: to the city, How the river had laughed while he spoke,
• 4:21:21
  Speaker 1: spoke for a long time while Vasudeva was listening with
• 4:21:24
  Speaker 1: a quiet face. Vasadeva's listening gave Siddartha a stronger sensation
• 4:21:30
  Speaker 1: than ever before. He sensed how his pain his fears
• 4:21:34
  Speaker 1: flowed over to him, how his secret hope flowed over,
• 4:21:39
  Speaker 1: came back at him from his counterpart. To show his
• 4:21:43
  Speaker 1: wound to this listener was the same as bathing it
• 4:21:46
  Speaker 1: in the river until it had cooled and become one
• 4:21:49
  Speaker 1: with the river. While he was still speaking, still admitting
• 4:21:54
  Speaker 1: and confessing, Siddartha felt more and more that this was
• 4:21:58
  Speaker 1: no longer Vasadi, no longer a human being who was
• 4:22:03
  Speaker 1: listening to him, That this motionless listener was absorbing his
• 4:22:07
  Speaker 1: confession into himself like a tree the rain. That this
• 4:22:12
  Speaker 1: motionless man was the river itself, that he was God himself,
• 4:22:17
  Speaker 1: that he was the eternal itself. And while sid Arthur
• 4:22:22
  Speaker 1: stopped thinking of himself and his wound, this realization of
• 4:22:26
  Speaker 1: Vasudeva's changed character took possession of him, and the more
• 4:22:31
  Speaker 1: he felt it and entered into it, the less wondrous
• 4:22:35
  Speaker 1: it became. The more he realized that everything was in
• 4:22:39
  Speaker 1: order and natural, that Vasudeva had already been like this
• 4:22:43
  Speaker 1: for a long time, almost forever, that only he had
• 4:22:48
  Speaker 1: not quite recognized it. Yes, that he himself had almost
• 4:22:53
  Speaker 1: reached the same state. He felt that he was now
• 4:22:56
  Speaker 1: seeing old Vasudeva as the people see the gods, and
• 4:23:00
  Speaker 1: that this could not last. In his heart, he started
• 4:23:05
  Speaker 1: bidding his farewell to Vasudeva. Through all this he talked incessantly.
• 4:23:12
  Speaker 1: When he had finished talking, Vasudeva turned his friendly eyes,
• 4:23:16
  Speaker 1: which had grown slightly weak, at him, said nothing. Let
• 4:23:21
  Speaker 1: his silent love and cheerfulness, understanding and knowledge shine at him.
• 4:23:27
  Speaker 1: He took Sir Arthur's hand, led him to the seat
• 4:23:30
  Speaker 1: of the bank, sat down with him, smiled at the river.
• 4:23:36
  Speaker 1: You've heard it, laugh, he said, But you haven't heard everything.
• 4:23:41
  Speaker 1: Let's listen, you'll hear more. They listened softly, sounded the
• 4:23:47
  Speaker 1: river singing in many voices, said Arthur. Looked into the river,
• 4:23:52
  Speaker 1: and images appeared to him in the moving water. His
• 4:23:56
  Speaker 1: father appeared lonely, mourning for his son. He himself appeared lonely,
• 4:24:03
  Speaker 1: he also being tied with the bondage of yearning to
• 4:24:06
  Speaker 1: his distant son. His son appeared lonely as well. The
• 4:24:12
  Speaker 1: boy greedily rushing along the burning course of his young wishes,
• 4:24:17
  Speaker 1: each one heading for his goal, each one obsessed by
• 4:24:21
  Speaker 1: the goal, each one suffering. The river sang with a
• 4:24:26
  Speaker 1: voice of suffering longingly. It sang longingly. It flowed towards
• 4:24:31
  Speaker 1: its goal lamentingly. Its voice sang, do you hear Vasudeva's
• 4:24:38
  Speaker 1: mute gaze asked Sirdarthur nodded, listen better, Vasudiva whispered. Sir
• 4:24:46
  Speaker 1: Arthur made an effort to listen better. The image of
• 4:24:50
  Speaker 1: his father, his own image, the image of his son merged.
• 4:24:55
  Speaker 1: Kamala's image also appeared and was dispersed, and the image
• 4:25:00
  Speaker 1: of Govinda, and other images, and they merged with each other,
• 4:25:05
  Speaker 1: turned all into the river headed, all being the river
• 4:25:10
  Speaker 1: for the goal, longing, desiring, suffering, And the river's voice
• 4:25:14
  Speaker 1: sounded full of yearning, full of burning woe, full of
• 4:25:19
  Speaker 1: unsatisfiable desire for the goal. The river was heading. Saddarthur
• 4:25:26
  Speaker 1: saw it, hurrying, the river which consisted of him and
• 4:25:29
  Speaker 1: his loved ones, and of all people he had ever seen.
• 4:25:34
  Speaker 1: All of these waves and waters were hurrying, suffering towards goals,
• 4:25:39
  Speaker 1: many goals, the waterfall, the lake, the rapids, the sea,
• 4:25:44
  Speaker 1: and all goals were reached, and every goal was followed
• 4:25:48
  Speaker 1: by a new one. And the water turned into vapor
• 4:25:52
  Speaker 1: and rose to the sky, turned into rain and poured
• 4:25:56
  Speaker 1: down from the sky, turned into a source stream, a
• 4:26:01
  Speaker 1: river headed forward once again, flowed on once again, but
• 4:26:07
  Speaker 1: the longing voice had changed. It still resounded full of suffering, searching.
• 4:26:14
  Speaker 1: But other voices joined it, voices of joy and of suffering,
• 4:26:18
  Speaker 1: good and bad, voices, laughing and sad ones. A hundred voices,
• 4:26:23
  Speaker 1: a thousand voices. Said Arthur listened. He was now nothing
• 4:26:29
  Speaker 1: but a listener, completely concentrated on listening, completely empty. He
• 4:26:36
  Speaker 1: felt that he had now finished learning to listen. Often
• 4:26:41
  Speaker 1: before he had heard all this, these many voices in
• 4:26:45
  Speaker 1: the river. Today it sounded new. Already he could no
• 4:26:51
  Speaker 1: longer tell the many voices apart, not the happy ones
• 4:26:54
  Speaker 1: from the weeping ones, not the ones of children from
• 4:26:58
  Speaker 1: those of men. They all belonged together, the lamentation of
• 4:27:03
  Speaker 1: yearning and the laughter of the knowledgeable one, the scream
• 4:27:07
  Speaker 1: of rage and the moaning of the dying ones. Everything
• 4:27:11
  Speaker 1: was one, Everything was intertwined and connected, entangled a thousand times,
• 4:27:19
  Speaker 1: and everything altogether all voices, all goals, all yearning, all suffering,
• 4:27:24
  Speaker 1: all pleasure, all that was good and evil. All of
• 4:27:28
  Speaker 1: this together was the world. All of it together was
• 4:27:33
  Speaker 1: the flow of events, was the music of life. And
• 4:27:38
  Speaker 1: when said Arthur was listening attentively to this river, this
• 4:27:42
  Speaker 1: song of a thousand voices, when he neither listened to
• 4:27:45
  Speaker 1: the suffering nor the laughter. When he did not tie
• 4:27:48
  Speaker 1: his soul to any particular voice and submerged his self
• 4:27:52
  Speaker 1: into it. But when he heard them all perceived the whole,
• 4:27:56
  Speaker 1: the oneness. Then the great song of the thousand voices
• 4:28:01
  Speaker 1: consisted of a single word, which was om the perfection.
• 4:28:08
  Speaker 1: Do you hear Vasudeva's gaze, asked again, brightly, Vasudeva's smile
• 4:28:15
  Speaker 1: was shining, floating radiantly over all the wrinkles of his
• 4:28:19
  Speaker 1: old face, as the olm was floating in the air,
• 4:28:22
  Speaker 1: above all the voices of the river. Brightly, his smile
• 4:28:27
  Speaker 1: was shining when he looked at his friend, and brightly
• 4:28:30
  Speaker 1: the same smile was now starting to shine on Siddartha's
• 4:28:33
  Speaker 1: face as well. His wound blossomed, his suffering was shining,
• 4:28:39
  Speaker 1: his self had flown into the oneness. In this hour,
• 4:28:45
  Speaker 1: Siddartha stopped fighting his fate, stopped suffering. On his face
• 4:28:51
  Speaker 1: flourished the cheerfulness of a knowledge which is no longer
• 4:28:54
  Speaker 1: opposed by any will, which knows perfection, which is in
• 4:28:59
  Speaker 1: agreement with the flow of events, with a current of life,
• 4:29:03
  Speaker 1: full of sympathy for the pain of others, full of
• 4:29:06
  Speaker 1: sympathy for the pleasure of others devoted to the floe
• 4:29:11
  Speaker 1: belonging to the oneness. When Vasudeva rose from the seat
• 4:29:16
  Speaker 1: by the bank, when he looked into sad Arthur's eyes
• 4:29:19
  Speaker 1: and saw the cheerfulness of the knowledge shining in them,
• 4:29:23
  Speaker 1: he softly touched his shoulder with his hand in his
• 4:29:26
  Speaker 1: careful and tender manner, and said, I've been waiting for
• 4:29:31
  Speaker 1: this hour, my dear, and now that it has come,
• 4:29:35
  Speaker 1: let me leave. For a long time. I've been waiting
• 4:29:39
  Speaker 1: for this hour for a long time. I've been Vasudeva
• 4:29:43
  Speaker 1: the fairy man. Now it's enough. Farewell, Hut, farewell, river, farewell,
• 4:29:51
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. SidD Arthur made a deep bow before him,
• 4:29:55
  Speaker 1: who bid his farewell. I've known it, he said quietly.
• 4:30:00
  Speaker 1: You'll go into the forests. I am going into the forests.
• 4:30:05
  Speaker 1: I Am going into the oneness, spoke Vasudiva with a
• 4:30:09
  Speaker 1: bright smile. With a bright smile, he left. Saddartha watched
• 4:30:15
  Speaker 1: him leaving with deep joy, with great solemnity. He watched
• 4:30:20
  Speaker 1: him leave, saw his steps full of peace, saw his
• 4:30:25
  Speaker 1: head full of luster, saw his body full of light.
• 4:30:32
  Speaker 1: End of chapter eleven. Chapter twelve Govinda, together with other monks.
• 4:30:38
  Speaker 1: Govinda used to spend the time of rest between pilgrimages
• 4:30:42
  Speaker 1: in the pleasure grove, which the Courtizan Kamala had given
• 4:30:45
  Speaker 1: to the followers of Gautama for a gift. He heard
• 4:30:50
  Speaker 1: talk of an old ferryman who lived one day's journey
• 4:30:53
  Speaker 1: away by the river, and who was regarded as a
• 4:30:56
  Speaker 1: wise man by many. When Govinda went back on his way,
• 4:31:01
  Speaker 1: he chose the path to the ferry, eager to see
• 4:31:04
  Speaker 1: the fairyman, because although he had lived his entire life
• 4:31:08
  Speaker 1: by the rules, though he was also looked upon with
• 4:31:12
  Speaker 1: veneration by the younger monks on account of his age
• 4:31:16
  Speaker 1: and modesty, the restlessness and the searching still had not
• 4:31:20
  Speaker 1: perished from his heart. He came to the river and
• 4:31:24
  Speaker 1: asked the old man to ferry him over, And when
• 4:31:27
  Speaker 1: they got off the boat on the other side, he
• 4:31:30
  Speaker 1: said to the old man, you're very good to us
• 4:31:33
  Speaker 1: monks and pilgrims. You've already ferried many of us across
• 4:31:37
  Speaker 1: the river, aren't you, too, ferryman, A searcher for the
• 4:31:41
  Speaker 1: right path, quoth said Arthur, smiling from his old eyes.
• 4:31:47
  Speaker 1: Do you call yourself a searcher, oh venerable one, though
• 4:31:51
  Speaker 1: you are already old in years and are wearing the
• 4:31:55
  Speaker 1: robe of Gautama's monks. It's true, I'm old, spoke Govinda.
• 4:32:01
  Speaker 1: But I haven't stopped searching. Never I'll stop searching. This
• 4:32:06
  Speaker 1: seems to be my destiny. You too, so it seems
• 4:32:10
  Speaker 1: to me have been searching. Would you like to tell
• 4:32:13
  Speaker 1: me something, O honorable one, quote, said Arthur, What should
• 4:32:18
  Speaker 1: I possibly have to tell you, O venerable one, Perhaps
• 4:32:22
  Speaker 1: that you're searching far too much, that in all that
• 4:32:26
  Speaker 1: searching you don't find the time for finding. How come,
• 4:32:32
  Speaker 1: asked Govinda. When someone is searching, said said Arthur, then
• 4:32:37
  Speaker 1: it might easily happen that the only thing his eyes
• 4:32:41
  Speaker 1: still see is that which he searches for. That he
• 4:32:45
  Speaker 1: is unable to find anything, to let anything enter his mind,
• 4:32:50
  Speaker 1: because he always thinks of nothing but the object of
• 4:32:53
  Speaker 1: his search, because he has a goal, because he is
• 4:32:57
  Speaker 1: obsessed by the goal means having a goal, but finding
• 4:33:04
  Speaker 1: means being free, being open, having no goal. You, oh
• 4:33:11
  Speaker 1: venerable one, are perhaps indeed a searcher, because striving for
• 4:33:16
  Speaker 1: your goal, there are many things you don't see which
• 4:33:19
  Speaker 1: are directly in front of your eyes. I don't quite
• 4:33:23
  Speaker 1: understand yet, said Govinda. What do you mean by this,
• 4:33:29
  Speaker 1: quoth said Arthur, A long time ago, oh venerable one,
• 4:33:33
  Speaker 1: many years ago, you've once before been at this river
• 4:33:38
  Speaker 1: and have found a sleeping man by the river, and
• 4:33:41
  Speaker 1: have sat down with him to guard his sleep. But, oh, Govinda,
• 4:33:46
  Speaker 1: you did not recognize the sleeping man, Astonished as if
• 4:33:51
  Speaker 1: he had been the object of a magic spell. The
• 4:33:54
  Speaker 1: monk looked into the ferry man's eyes. Are you, said Arthur,
• 4:34:00
  Speaker 1: He asked with a timid voice. I wouldn't have recognized
• 4:34:04
  Speaker 1: you this time as well. From my heart, I'm greeting you,
• 4:34:08
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. From my heart, I'm happy to see you
• 4:34:12
  Speaker 1: once again. You've changed a lot, my friend, and so
• 4:34:16
  Speaker 1: you've now become a faeryman in a friendly manner, said Arthur, laughed,
• 4:34:22
  Speaker 1: A fairy man. Yes, many people, Govinda, have to change
• 4:34:26
  Speaker 1: a lot, have to wear many a robe. I am
• 4:34:30
  Speaker 1: one of those, my dear be welcome Govinda, and spend
• 4:34:34
  Speaker 1: the night in my heart. Govinda stayed the night in
• 4:34:38
  Speaker 1: the hut and slept on the bed which used to
• 4:34:40
  Speaker 1: be Vasadeva's bed. Many questions he posed to the friend
• 4:34:45
  Speaker 1: of his youth. Many things, said Artha had to tell
• 4:34:48
  Speaker 1: him from his life when In the next morning, the
• 4:34:52
  Speaker 1: time had come to start the day's journey. Govinda said,
• 4:34:56
  Speaker 1: not without hesitation these words before I'll continue my path,
• 4:35:01
  Speaker 1: said Arthur, permit me to ask one more question. Do
• 4:35:06
  Speaker 1: you have a teaching? Do you have a faith or
• 4:35:09
  Speaker 1: a knowledge you follow which helps you to live and
• 4:35:12
  Speaker 1: to do right? Quoth said Arthur. You know, my dear,
• 4:35:17
  Speaker 1: that I, already, as a young man, in those days
• 4:35:20
  Speaker 1: when we lived with the penitents in the forest, started
• 4:35:23
  Speaker 1: to distrust teachers and teachings and to turn my back
• 4:35:28
  Speaker 1: to them. I have stuck with this, nevertheless, I have
• 4:35:33
  Speaker 1: had many teachers since then. A beautiful courtesan has been
• 4:35:37
  Speaker 1: my teacher for a long time, and a rich merchant
• 4:35:41
  Speaker 1: was my teacher. And some gamblers with dice once. Even
• 4:35:45
  Speaker 1: a follower of Buddha traveling on foot has been my teacher.
• 4:35:50
  Speaker 1: He sat with me while I had fallen asleep in
• 4:35:52
  Speaker 1: the forest on the pilgrimage. I've also learned from him.
• 4:35:57
  Speaker 1: I'm also grateful to him, very grateful. But most of
• 4:36:02
  Speaker 1: all I have learned here from this river and from
• 4:36:06
  Speaker 1: my predecessor, the fairy man Vasudeva. He was a very
• 4:36:11
  Speaker 1: simple person. Vasudeva. He was no thinker, but he knew
• 4:36:16
  Speaker 1: what is necessary just as well as Gautama. He was
• 4:36:20
  Speaker 1: a perfect man. A saint. Govinda said, still, oh, Siddhartha,
• 4:36:27
  Speaker 1: you love a bit to mock people, as it seems
• 4:36:30
  Speaker 1: to me. I believe in you and know that you
• 4:36:33
  Speaker 1: haven't followed a teacher. But haven't you found something by yourself?
• 4:36:38
  Speaker 1: Though you found no teachings, you still found certain thoughts,
• 4:36:42
  Speaker 1: certain insights, which are your own and which help you
• 4:36:46
  Speaker 1: to live. If you would like to tell me some
• 4:36:48
  Speaker 1: of these, you would delight my heart, quoth said Arthur.
• 4:36:53
  Speaker 1: I've had thoughts, yes, and insight, again and again, sometimes
• 4:36:59
  Speaker 1: for an hour or for an entire day. I have
• 4:37:01
  Speaker 1: felt knowledge in me as one would feel life in
• 4:37:04
  Speaker 1: one's heart. There have been many thoughts, but it would
• 4:37:08
  Speaker 1: be hard for me to convey them to you. Look,
• 4:37:12
  Speaker 1: my dear Govinda, this is one of my thoughts which
• 4:37:15
  Speaker 1: I have found. Wisdom cannot be passed on. Wisdom which
• 4:37:20
  Speaker 1: a wise man tries to pass on to someone always
• 4:37:23
  Speaker 1: sounds like foolishness. Are you kidding, asked Govinda. I'm not kidding.
• 4:37:31
  Speaker 1: I am telling you what I have found. Knowledge can
• 4:37:34
  Speaker 1: be conveyed, but not wisdom. It can be found, It
• 4:37:39
  Speaker 1: can be lived, it is possible to be carried by it,
• 4:37:43
  Speaker 1: Miracles can be performed with it. But it cannot be
• 4:37:47
  Speaker 1: expressed in words and taught. This was what I, even
• 4:37:53
  Speaker 1: as a young man, sometimes suspected what has driven me
• 4:37:56
  Speaker 1: away from the teachers. I have found the thought Govinda,
• 4:38:01
  Speaker 1: which you'll again regard as a joke or foolishness, but
• 4:38:05
  Speaker 1: which is my best thought. It says, the opposite of
• 4:38:10
  Speaker 1: every truth is just as true. That's like this. Every
• 4:38:16
  Speaker 1: truth can only be expressed and put into words when
• 4:38:19
  Speaker 1: it is one sided. Everything is one sided, which can
• 4:38:23
  Speaker 1: be thought with thoughts and said with words. It's all
• 4:38:28
  Speaker 1: one sided, all just one half. All lacks completeness, roundness, oneness.
• 4:38:37
  Speaker 1: When the exalted Gautamas spoke in his teachings of the world,
• 4:38:41
  Speaker 1: he had to divide it into sansara and nirvana, into
• 4:38:45
  Speaker 1: deception and truth, into suffering and salvation. It cannot be
• 4:38:50
  Speaker 1: done differently. There is no other way for him who
• 4:38:54
  Speaker 1: wants to teach, but the world itself, what exists around us,
• 4:38:59
  Speaker 1: in insight side of us, is never one sided. A
• 4:39:03
  Speaker 1: person or an act is never entirely sansarah or entirely nirvana.
• 4:39:09
  Speaker 1: A person is never entirely holy or entirely sinful. It
• 4:39:15
  Speaker 1: does really seem like this because we are subject to deception,
• 4:39:19
  Speaker 1: as if time were something real. Time is not real, Govinda.
• 4:39:25
  Speaker 1: I have experienced this often and often again. And if
• 4:39:29
  Speaker 1: time is not real, then the gap which seems to
• 4:39:32
  Speaker 1: be between the world and the eternity, between suffering and blissfulness,
• 4:39:37
  Speaker 1: between good and evil, is also a deception. How come,
• 4:39:42
  Speaker 1: asked Govinda timidly. Listen well, my dear, listen well. The
• 4:39:48
  Speaker 1: sinner which I am and which you are, is a sinner.
• 4:39:52
  Speaker 1: But in times to come he will be Brahma again.
• 4:39:55
  Speaker 1: He will reach the nirvana, will be Buddha. And now
• 4:39:59
  Speaker 1: see these times to come, our a deception are only
• 4:40:03
  Speaker 1: a parable. The sinner is not on his way to
• 4:40:06
  Speaker 1: become a Buddha. He is not in the process of developing,
• 4:40:11
  Speaker 1: though our capacity for thinking does not know how else
• 4:40:14
  Speaker 1: to picture these things. No, within the sinner is now
• 4:40:18
  Speaker 1: and today already the future Buddha. His future is already
• 4:40:23
  Speaker 1: all there. You have to worship in him, in you,
• 4:40:27
  Speaker 1: in everyone, the Buddha which is coming into being, the possible,
• 4:40:31
  Speaker 1: the hidden Buddha. The world, my friend, Govinda, is not
• 4:40:37
  Speaker 1: imperfect or on a slow path towards perfection. No, it
• 4:40:42
  Speaker 1: is perfect in every moment. All sin already carries the
• 4:40:47
  Speaker 1: divine forgiveness in itself. All small children already have the
• 4:40:53
  Speaker 1: old person in themselves. All infants already have death, all
• 4:40:59
  Speaker 1: dying people the eternal life. It is not possible for
• 4:41:03
  Speaker 1: any person to see how far another one has already
• 4:41:07
  Speaker 1: progressed on his path. In the robber and the dice gambler,
• 4:41:12
  Speaker 1: the Buddha is waiting. In the Brahman, the robber is waiting.
• 4:41:18
  Speaker 1: In deep meditation, there is the possibility to put time
• 4:41:22
  Speaker 1: out of existence, to see all life, which was, is
• 4:41:26
  Speaker 1: and will be, as if it were simultaneous. And there
• 4:41:30
  Speaker 1: everything is good, everything is perfect, Everything is Brahman. Therefore
• 4:41:36
  Speaker 1: I see whatever exists as good. Death is to me
• 4:41:41
  Speaker 1: like life, sin, like holiness, wisdom, like foolishness. Everything has
• 4:41:48
  Speaker 1: to be as it is. Everything only requires my consent,
• 4:41:53
  Speaker 1: only my willingness, my loving agreement to be good for me,
• 4:41:58
  Speaker 1: to do nothing but work for mine, I benefit to
• 4:42:01
  Speaker 1: be unable to ever harm me. I have experienced, on
• 4:42:06
  Speaker 1: my body and on my soul that I needed sin
• 4:42:09
  Speaker 1: very much. I needed lust, the desire for possessions, vanity,
• 4:42:15
  Speaker 1: and needed the most shameful despair in order to learn
• 4:42:18
  Speaker 1: how to give up all resistance, in order to learn
• 4:42:22
  Speaker 1: how to love the world, in order to stop comparing
• 4:42:26
  Speaker 1: it to some world I wished I imagined some kind
• 4:42:30
  Speaker 1: of perfection I had made up. But to leave it
• 4:42:34
  Speaker 1: as it is, and to love it and to enjoy
• 4:42:37
  Speaker 1: being a part of it. These, oh, Govinda, are some
• 4:42:41
  Speaker 1: of the thoughts which have come into my mind, said
• 4:42:45
  Speaker 1: Arthur bent down picked up a stone from the ground
• 4:42:49
  Speaker 1: and weighed it in his hand. This here, he said,
• 4:42:53
  Speaker 1: playing with it, is a stone and will after a
• 4:42:57
  Speaker 1: certain time perhaps turn into soil, and will turn from
• 4:43:00
  Speaker 1: soil into a plant or an animal or human being.
• 4:43:05
  Speaker 1: In the past, I would have said, this stone is
• 4:43:09
  Speaker 1: just a stone, it is worthless. It belongs to the
• 4:43:12
  Speaker 1: world of the Maya. But because it might be able
• 4:43:16
  Speaker 1: to become also a human being and a spirit in
• 4:43:19
  Speaker 1: the cycle of transformations, therefore I also grant it importance.
• 4:43:26
  Speaker 1: Thus I would perhaps have thought in the past. But
• 4:43:29
  Speaker 1: today I think this stone is a stone, it is
• 4:43:34
  Speaker 1: also animal, it is also God, it is also Buddha.
• 4:43:39
  Speaker 1: I do not venerate and love it because it could
• 4:43:42
  Speaker 1: turn into this or that, but rather because it is
• 4:43:45
  Speaker 1: already and always everything. And it is this very fact
• 4:43:50
  Speaker 1: that it is a stone, that it appears to me
• 4:43:53
  Speaker 1: now and today as a stone. This is why I
• 4:43:56
  Speaker 1: love it and see worth than purpose in each of
• 4:43:59
  Speaker 1: its veins and cavities, in the yellow, in the gray,
• 4:44:03
  Speaker 1: in the hardness, in the sound it makes when I
• 4:44:06
  Speaker 1: knock at it, in the dryness or wetness of its surface.
• 4:44:12
  Speaker 1: There are stones which feel like oil or soap, and
• 4:44:15
  Speaker 1: others like leaves, others like sand. And everyone is special,
• 4:44:20
  Speaker 1: and praise the Olm in its own way. Each one
• 4:44:24
  Speaker 1: is Brahman. But simultaneously and just as much it is
• 4:44:28
  Speaker 1: a stone, it is oily or juicy. And this is
• 4:44:33
  Speaker 1: this very fact which I like and regard as wonderful
• 4:44:37
  Speaker 1: and worthy of worship. But let me speak no more
• 4:44:41
  Speaker 1: of this. The words are not good for the secret meaning.
• 4:44:45
  Speaker 1: Everything always becomes a bit different as soon as it
• 4:44:48
  Speaker 1: is put into words, gets distorted, a bit, a bit silly. Yes,
• 4:44:53
  Speaker 1: and this is also very good, and I like it
• 4:44:56
  Speaker 1: a lot. I also very much agree with this that
• 4:44:59
  Speaker 1: this what is one man's treasure and wisdom always sounds
• 4:45:03
  Speaker 1: like foolishness to another person. Govinda listened silently. Why have
• 4:45:10
  Speaker 1: you told me this about the stone, he asked hesitantly,
• 4:45:14
  Speaker 1: after a pause. I did it without a specific intention.
• 4:45:19
  Speaker 1: Or perhaps what I meant was that love this very stone,
• 4:45:23
  Speaker 1: and the river, and all these things we are looking
• 4:45:25
  Speaker 1: at and from and which we can learn. I can
• 4:45:29
  Speaker 1: love a stone, Govinda, and also a tree or a
• 4:45:32
  Speaker 1: piece of bark. These are things, and things can be loved.
• 4:45:36
  Speaker 1: But I cannot love words. Therefore teachings are no good
• 4:45:41
  Speaker 1: for me. They have no hardness, no softness, no colors,
• 4:45:45
  Speaker 1: no edges, no smell, no taste. They have nothing but words.
• 4:45:50
  Speaker 1: Perhaps it is these which keep you from finding peace.
• 4:45:54
  Speaker 1: Perhaps it is the many words, because salvation and virtue,
• 4:45:59
  Speaker 1: as well Sansara and nirvana as well are mere words, Govinda.
• 4:46:05
  Speaker 1: There is no thing which would be nirvana. There is
• 4:46:09
  Speaker 1: just the word nirvana, quoth Govinda. Not just a word,
• 4:46:15
  Speaker 1: my friend, is nirvana? It is a thought? Sid Arthur continued.
• 4:46:20
  Speaker 1: I thought it might be, so, I must confess to you,
• 4:46:24
  Speaker 1: my dear, I don't differentiate much between thoughts and words.
• 4:46:28
  Speaker 1: To be honest, I also have no high opinion of thoughts.
• 4:46:32
  Speaker 1: I have a better opinion of things here on this
• 4:46:35
  Speaker 1: ferry boat. For instance, a man has been my predecessor
• 4:46:38
  Speaker 1: and teacher, a holy man who has for many years
• 4:46:42
  Speaker 1: simply believed in the river, nothing else. He had noticed
• 4:46:46
  Speaker 1: that the river spoke to him, He learned from it,
• 4:46:50
  Speaker 1: It educated and taught him. The river seemed to be
• 4:46:53
  Speaker 1: a god to him. For many years he did not
• 4:46:57
  Speaker 1: know that every wind, every cloud, every bird, every beetle
• 4:47:02
  Speaker 1: was just as divine and knows just as much and
• 4:47:05
  Speaker 1: can teach just as much as the worshiped river. But
• 4:47:10
  Speaker 1: when this holy man went into the forests, he knew everything,
• 4:47:15
  Speaker 1: knew more than you and me, without teachers, without books,
• 4:47:20
  Speaker 1: only because he had believed in the river. Govinda said,
• 4:47:26
  Speaker 1: but is that which you call things actually something real,
• 4:47:30
  Speaker 1: something which has existence? Isn't it just a deception of
• 4:47:34
  Speaker 1: the Maya? Just an image and illusion? Your stone, your tree,
• 4:47:38
  Speaker 1: your river? Are they actually a reality? This too, spoke
• 4:47:44
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. I do not care very much about let
• 4:47:48
  Speaker 1: the things be illusions or not. After all, I would
• 4:47:51
  Speaker 1: then also be an illusion. And thus they are always
• 4:47:55
  Speaker 1: like me. This is what makes them so dear and
• 4:47:58
  Speaker 1: worthy of veneration for me. They are like me. Therefore
• 4:48:02
  Speaker 1: I can love them. And this is now a teaching
• 4:48:05
  Speaker 1: you will laugh about love, Oh, Govinda, seems to me
• 4:48:10
  Speaker 1: the most important thing of all to thoroughly understand the world,
• 4:48:14
  Speaker 1: to explain it, to despise it. May be the thing
• 4:48:18
  Speaker 1: great thinkers do, But I'm only interested in being able
• 4:48:22
  Speaker 1: to love the world, not to despise it, not to
• 4:48:25
  Speaker 1: hate it, and me to be able to look upon
• 4:48:28
  Speaker 1: it and me and all beings with love and admiration
• 4:48:32
  Speaker 1: and great respect. This I understand, spoke Govinda. But this
• 4:48:38
  Speaker 1: very thing was discovered by the Exalted One to be
• 4:48:41
  Speaker 1: a deception. He commands benevolence, clemency, sympathy, tolerance, but not love.
• 4:48:48
  Speaker 1: He forbade us to tie our heart in love to
• 4:48:51
  Speaker 1: earthly things. I know it, said said Arthur, his smile
• 4:48:57
  Speaker 1: shone golden. I know it, Govinda. And behold with this,
• 4:49:02
  Speaker 1: we are right in the middle of the thicket of opinions,
• 4:49:06
  Speaker 1: in the dispute about words. For I cannot deny my
• 4:49:10
  Speaker 1: words of love are in a contradiction, a seeming contradiction,
• 4:49:14
  Speaker 1: with Gatarma's words. For this very reason I distrust in
• 4:49:19
  Speaker 1: words so much, for I know this contradiction is a deception.
• 4:49:23
  Speaker 1: I know that I am in agreement with Gattarma. How
• 4:49:27
  Speaker 1: should he not know love, He who has discovered all
• 4:49:31
  Speaker 1: elements of human existence, in their transitoriness, in their meaninglessness,
• 4:49:37
  Speaker 1: and yet loved people thus much to use a long
• 4:49:40
  Speaker 1: laborious life only to help them, to teach them, even
• 4:49:45
  Speaker 1: with him, even with your great teacher, I prefer the
• 4:49:49
  Speaker 1: thing over the words. Place more importance on his acts
• 4:49:54
  Speaker 1: and life than on his speeches, more on the gestures
• 4:49:58
  Speaker 1: of his hand than his appear onions, not his speech,
• 4:50:02
  Speaker 1: not in his thoughts. I see his greatness only in
• 4:50:06
  Speaker 1: his actions, in his life. For a long time, the
• 4:50:10
  Speaker 1: two old men said nothing. Then spoke Govinda, while bowing
• 4:50:15
  Speaker 1: for a farewell, I thank you, Sir Darthur, for telling
• 4:50:18
  Speaker 1: me some of your thoughts. They are partially strange thoughts,
• 4:50:23
  Speaker 1: not all have been instantly understandable to me. This being
• 4:50:27
  Speaker 1: as it may, I thank you and wish you to
• 4:50:30
  Speaker 1: have calm days. But secretly, he thought to himself, this,
• 4:50:35
  Speaker 1: Sir Darthur, is a bizarre person. He expresses bizarre thoughts.
• 4:50:41
  Speaker 1: His teachings sound foolish. How differently sound the Exalted One's
• 4:50:46
  Speaker 1: pure teachings, clearer, purer, more comprehensible, Nothing strange, foolish or silly.
• 4:50:53
  Speaker 1: As contained in them, but different from his thoughts, seemed
• 4:50:58
  Speaker 1: to me, said Arthur's hands and feet, his eyes, his forehead,
• 4:51:03
  Speaker 1: his breath, his smile, his greeting, his walk. Never again,
• 4:51:08
  Speaker 1: after our exalted Gautama has become one with the Nirvana.
• 4:51:12
  Speaker 1: Never since then have I met a person of whom
• 4:51:15
  Speaker 1: I felt this is a holy man. Only him, this Siddhartha,
• 4:51:21
  Speaker 1: I have found to be like this. May his teachings
• 4:51:25
  Speaker 1: be strange, May his words sound foolish. Out of his
• 4:51:29
  Speaker 1: gaze and his hand, his skin, and his hair, out
• 4:51:33
  Speaker 1: of every part of him shines a purity, shines, a calmness, shines,
• 4:51:39
  Speaker 1: a cheerfulness and mildness and holiness, which I have seen
• 4:51:43
  Speaker 1: in no other person since the final death of our
• 4:51:46
  Speaker 1: exalted teacher. As Govinda thought like this, and there was
• 4:51:51
  Speaker 1: a conflict in his heart, he once again bowed to Siddhartha.
• 4:51:56
  Speaker 1: Drawn by love deeply, he bowed to him, who was
• 4:52:00
  Speaker 1: calmly sitting, said Arthur. He spoke, we have become old men.
• 4:52:08
  Speaker 1: It is unlikely for one of us to see the
• 4:52:10
  Speaker 1: other again in this incarnation. I see, beloved, that you
• 4:52:15
  Speaker 1: have found peace. I confess that I haven't found it.
• 4:52:21
  Speaker 1: Tell me oh, honorable one, one more word. Give me
• 4:52:25
  Speaker 1: something on my way which I can grasp, which I
• 4:52:28
  Speaker 1: can understand. Give me something to be with me on
• 4:52:32
  Speaker 1: my path. It is often hard, my path, often dark,
• 4:52:37
  Speaker 1: said Arthur. Sir Arthur said nothing and looked at him
• 4:52:41
  Speaker 1: with the ever unchanged quiet smile. Govinda stared at his
• 4:52:46
  Speaker 1: face with fear, with yearning, suffering, and the eternal search
• 4:52:52
  Speaker 1: was visible in his look, eternal not finding. Sir Arthur
• 4:52:58
  Speaker 1: saw it and smiled. Bend down to me, he whispered
• 4:53:03
  Speaker 1: quietly in Govinda's ear. Bend down to me like this,
• 4:53:08
  Speaker 1: even closer, very closer, Kiss my forehead, Govinda. But while Govinda,
• 4:53:15
  Speaker 1: with astonishment and yet drawn by great love and expectation,
• 4:53:19
  Speaker 1: obeyed his words, bent down closely to him and touched
• 4:53:24
  Speaker 1: his forehead with his lips. Something miraculous happened to him
• 4:53:29
  Speaker 1: while his thoughts were still dwelling on said Arthur's wondrous words,
• 4:53:34
  Speaker 1: while he was still struggling in vain and with reluctance
• 4:53:38
  Speaker 1: to think away time to ignore Nirvana and Sansara as one,
• 4:53:44
  Speaker 1: while even a certain contempt for the words of his
• 4:53:46
  Speaker 1: friend was fighting in him against an immense love and veneration.
• 4:53:52
  Speaker 1: This happened to him. He no longer saw the face
• 4:53:56
  Speaker 1: of his friend, said Arthur. Instead, he saw other faces,
• 4:54:02
  Speaker 1: many a long sequence, a flowing river of faces, of
• 4:54:08
  Speaker 1: hundreds of thousands, which all came and disappeared, and yet
• 4:54:12
  Speaker 1: all seemed to be there simultaneously, which all constantly changed
• 4:54:18
  Speaker 1: and renewed themselves, and which were still all Sadarthur. He
• 4:54:24
  Speaker 1: saw the face of a fish, a carp with infinitely
• 4:54:27
  Speaker 1: painful opened mouth, the face of a dying fish with
• 4:54:31
  Speaker 1: fading eyes. He saw the face of a newborn child,
• 4:54:36
  Speaker 1: red and full of wrinkles, distorted from crying. He saw
• 4:54:41
  Speaker 1: the face of a murderer. He saw him plunging a
• 4:54:44
  Speaker 1: knife into the body of another person. He saw in
• 4:54:48
  Speaker 1: the same second this criminal in bondage, kneeling and his
• 4:54:52
  Speaker 1: head being chopped off by the executioner with one blow
• 4:54:56
  Speaker 1: of his sword. He saw the bodies of men and
• 4:54:59
  Speaker 1: w women, naked in positions and cramps of frenzied love.
• 4:55:05
  Speaker 1: He saw corpses stretched out, motionless, cold void. He saw
• 4:55:11
  Speaker 1: the heads of animals, of bores, of crocodiles, of elephants,
• 4:55:14
  Speaker 1: of bulls, of birds. He saw gods. He saw Krishna.
• 4:55:19
  Speaker 1: He saw Agni. He saw all of these figures and
• 4:55:23
  Speaker 1: faces in a thousand relationships with one another, each one
• 4:55:27
  Speaker 1: helping the other, loving it, hating it, destroying it, giving
• 4:55:33
  Speaker 1: rebirth to it. Each one was a will to die,
• 4:55:37
  Speaker 1: a passionate, painful confession of transitoriness. And yet none of
• 4:55:43
  Speaker 1: them died. Each one only transformed, was always reborn, received
• 4:55:51
  Speaker 1: ever more a new face, without any time having passed
• 4:55:55
  Speaker 1: between the one and the other face. And all of
• 4:55:58
  Speaker 1: these figures and faces rested, flowed, generated themselves, floated along
• 4:56:04
  Speaker 1: and merged with each other, and they were all constantly
• 4:56:08
  Speaker 1: covered by something thin, without individuality of its own, but
• 4:56:13
  Speaker 1: yet existing, like a thin glass or ice, like a
• 4:56:17
  Speaker 1: transparent skin, a shell or mold, or mask of water.
• 4:56:22
  Speaker 1: And this mask was smiling. And this mask was Sir
• 4:56:26
  Speaker 1: Arthur's smiling face, which he Govinda, in this very same
• 4:56:31
  Speaker 1: moment touched with his lips. And Govinda saw it like this,
• 4:56:38
  Speaker 1: this smile of the mask, this smile of oneness, above
• 4:56:42
  Speaker 1: the flowing forms, this smile of simultaneousness, above the thousand
• 4:56:48
  Speaker 1: births and deaths, The smile of Sir Arthur was precisely
• 4:56:52
  Speaker 1: the same, was precisely of the same kind as the quiet, delicate, impenetrable,
• 4:56:58
  Speaker 1: perhaps benevolent, perhaps mocking wise, thousandfold smile of Gautama, the Buddha,
• 4:57:06
  Speaker 1: as he had seen it himself, with great respect a
• 4:57:09
  Speaker 1: hundred times like this, Govinda knew, the perfected ones are smiling,
• 4:57:16
  Speaker 1: not knowing any more whether time existed, whether the vision
• 4:57:19
  Speaker 1: had lasted a second or one hundred years, not knowing
• 4:57:23
  Speaker 1: any more whether there existed a Siddharthur, a Gattama, a me,
• 4:57:27
  Speaker 1: and a you. Feeling in his innermost self as if
• 4:57:31
  Speaker 1: he had been wounded by a divine arrow, the injury
• 4:57:35
  Speaker 1: of which tasted sweet. Being enchanted and dissolved in his
• 4:57:39
  Speaker 1: innermost self, Govinda stood still for a little while, bent
• 4:57:45
  Speaker 1: over Siddartha's quiet face, which he had just kissed, which
• 4:57:49
  Speaker 1: had just been the scene of all manifestations, all transformations,
• 4:57:54
  Speaker 1: all existence. The face was unchanged after under its office
• 4:58:00
  Speaker 1: the depth of the thousandfoldness had closed up again. He
• 4:58:05
  Speaker 1: smiled sweetly, smiled quietly and softly, perhaps benevolently, perhaps very mockingly,
• 4:58:13
  Speaker 1: precisely as he used to smile the exalted one. Deeply.
• 4:58:19
  Speaker 1: Govinda bowed tears. He knew nothing of ran down his
• 4:58:23
  Speaker 1: old face like a fire burnt the feeling of the
• 4:58:27
  Speaker 1: most intimate love, the humblest veneration in his heart. Deeply
• 4:58:33
  Speaker 1: he bowed, touching the ground before him, who was sitting motionlessly,
• 4:58:39
  Speaker 1: whose smile reminded him of everything he had ever loved
• 4:58:43
  Speaker 1: in his life, what had ever been valuable and holy
• 4:58:47
  Speaker 1: to him in his life. End of Chapter twelve and
• 4:58:54
  Speaker 1: end of Siddartha by Hermann Hesse