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Facing domestic disaster - A Must Hear Sermon- Minister Max Lucado · Max Lucado Daily Sermons

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Speaker 1: At the ripe young age of 82, my oldest sister
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Speaker 1: hosted a family reunion. Not wanting to leave anyone out,
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Speaker 1: she issued an all-points bulletin to Lakatos worldwide. Everyone was
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Speaker 1: invited to journey to Fort Smith, Arkansas, where she lives.
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Speaker 1: and spend a weekend hanging out under her roof. By
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Speaker 1: the time Dina and I arrived last June, the place
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Speaker 1: was already abuzz with activity. Kith, kin, kids, and cousins, in-laws, outlaws,
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Speaker 1: and a few fugitives of the law. There were some
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Speaker 1: 50 or 60 of us, enough to require name tags.
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Speaker 1: I saw a few faces I'd never seen before. I
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Speaker 1: saw quite a few I'd not seen in a long while.
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Speaker 1: A couple were toothless and in diapers, but old age
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Speaker 1: will do that to you. My sister had gone through
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Speaker 1: the tedious task of putting together a family tree, a genealogy,
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Speaker 1: and hanging it on her mantle. It stretched some six
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Speaker 1: feet wide. It covered... a dozen decades and four generations.
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Speaker 1: It began with the birth of my dad's dad, 1880,
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Speaker 1: and continued right up into the most recent edition of
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Speaker 1: my nephew's son in 2019. And she populated every possible
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Speaker 1: corner of her living room with pictures of Babies and
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Speaker 1: brides and soldiers and hairdressers, all bound by their connection
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Speaker 1: to the Lakato clan. The eldest among us held court.
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Speaker 1: My two older sisters and a cousin addressed concerns and
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Speaker 1: answered questions from the teens and the newcomers. Questions like,
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Speaker 1: you mean he fought in the war? Or he went
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Speaker 1: to prison? Or, why didn't they have kids? Or, why
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Speaker 1: did they have so many kids? Our family tree has
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Speaker 1: bright spots and blight spots. Alcohol and cholesterol have taken
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Speaker 1: their toll. Education and cooperation have been a blessing. In
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Speaker 1: the final chapter, minutes before the final goodbye we all
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Speaker 1: crammed in the living room to answer one final question
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Speaker 1: has anyone learned anything this weekend and after a few
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Speaker 1: moments a great grandson of the patriarch spoke up just
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Speaker 1: right out of college he had thoroughly enjoyed the weekend
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Speaker 1: meeting so many different people and he said I learned
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Speaker 1: something He said, now I know why I am the
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Speaker 1: way I am. You know, we never escape the influence
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Speaker 1: of those who raise us. We never do. We may try,
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Speaker 1: but we never succeed. And while each life is a
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Speaker 1: new chapter, it remains a chapter within the larger volume.
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Speaker 1: Your biography began before you did. Your family tree matters.
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Speaker 1: My family tree matters. Jacob's family tree matters. Jacob is
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Speaker 1: most famous because of his family. He's not famous for
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Speaker 1: his talents. He's not famous for his teachings. He's not
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Speaker 1: famous for his treasures. If he invented a device, if
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Speaker 1: he wrote a song or authored a book, we've never seen, sung,
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Speaker 1: or read it. But he seeded a family tree that
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Speaker 1: extends on into eternity. Those who know very little about
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Speaker 1: the Bible, very little about Jacob's story, have heard the phrase,
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Speaker 1: the 12 tribes of Israel, that would be the 12
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Speaker 1: sons of Jacob. Those who know a lot about the
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Speaker 1: Bible know the names of the tribes, and they know
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Speaker 1: that these tribes names will be engraved on the foundation
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Speaker 1: of the New Jerusalem. But even those who know a
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Speaker 1: lot about the Bible have a lot of questions about
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Speaker 1: this crazy family of Jacob. And the question at the
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Speaker 1: top of the list goes something like this. You mean
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Speaker 1: to tell me that the genealogy of Jesus Christ includes
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Speaker 1: these people? So if you're new to our discussion, Let
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Speaker 1: me catch you up. We are six lessons into a
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Speaker 1: 12 lesson study on the life of Jacob. We're some 2,000
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Speaker 1: years before the birth of Jesus Christ. We began in
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Speaker 1: southern Israel. Then we followed Jacob the fugitive into what
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Speaker 1: is today modern day Turkey just across the border. Mesopotamia.
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Speaker 1: We've become acquainted with the roller coaster ride that is
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Speaker 1: called Jacob's life. He was the second born of, I'm
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Speaker 1: pausing to see if anyone remembers, second born of Isaac,
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Speaker 1: born a second after Esau. He came out of his
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Speaker 1: mama trying to pull Esau back. Hence the name Jacob
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Speaker 1: comes from a phrase that means heel holder. His mom
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Speaker 1: liked Jacob. His dad liked Esau. Sibling rivalry and parental
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Speaker 1: favoritism resulted in a toxic stew of deception and death threats.
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Speaker 1: And we're not even into Jacob's marriage. Let me quickly
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Speaker 1: add an S to that word. Marriages. Yes, Jacob had
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Speaker 1: not one but two marriages and he had them simultaneously.
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Speaker 1: He wanted one wife but got two for the price
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Speaker 1: of two thanks to his sleazy uncle Laban. Jacob went
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Speaker 1: to His wedding bed, thinking of Rachel, and he woke
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Speaker 1: up looking at her older sister, Leah. Blame it on
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Speaker 1: too much whiskey. Blame it on too much frenzied testosterone.
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Speaker 1: Blame it on both. By the time we get to
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Speaker 1: the family tree that began with Jacob, we have a
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Speaker 1: mishmash that no therapist would be able to disentangle. Jacob
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Speaker 1: had one wife he wanted. He had one wife he
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Speaker 1: He did not want. The two wives were sisters. The
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Speaker 1: two sisters each had a handmaiden who did more than
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Speaker 1: wash the dishes, but served as a surrogate. So Jacob
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Speaker 1: found himself in the midst of four women, each vying
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Speaker 1: for his attention, bearing his children, and complicating his already
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Speaker 1: turbulent and troubled life. Are you ready for the text?
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Speaker 1: Just to prove I'm not making this up. When the
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Speaker 1: Lord saw that Leah was not loved, he enabled her
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Speaker 1: to conceive. But Rachel remained childless. Leah became pregnant and
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Speaker 1: gave birth to a son. And she named him Reuben.
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Speaker 1: For she said, it is because the Lord has seen
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Speaker 1: my misery. Surely my husband will love me now. She
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Speaker 1: conceived again. And when she gave birth to a son,
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Speaker 1: she said, because the Lord heard that I am not loved,
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Speaker 1: he gave me this one too. So she named him Simeon. Again,
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Speaker 1: she conceived. And when she gave birth to a son,
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Speaker 1: she said, now at last, my husband will become attached
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Speaker 1: to me because I have born him three sons. So
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Speaker 1: he was named Levi. She conceived again. And when she
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Speaker 1: gave birth to a son, she said, this time I
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Speaker 1: will praise the Lord. So she named him Judah. Then
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Speaker 1: she stopped having children. Names were absolutely essential to a
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Speaker 1: person's identity in ancient Israel and ancient cultures. The name
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Speaker 1: did more than serve as a word of identification. It
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Speaker 1: actually described a context, perhaps a destiny for a person's life.
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Speaker 1: The naming of the sons here really depicts the hurt
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Speaker 1: and the hatred of between the sister wives. Son number
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Speaker 1: one's name, Reuben, is a sign that God has seen
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Speaker 1: her affliction. Simeon, number two, declares that God has heard her,
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Speaker 1: a thinly veiled bar, but that God has not heard Rachel.
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Speaker 1: The name Levi means connect, lamenting a lack of connection
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Speaker 1: between her and Jacob. And Judah means praise God. The
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Speaker 1: story is pregnant with tension about pregnancies and lack thereof.
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Speaker 1: Leah has Jacob's love. I'm sorry, Jacob's sons, but no love.
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Speaker 1: Rachel has Jacob's love, but no sons. Rachel, having witnessed
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Speaker 1: her sister bear four children, was consumed with envy. So
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Speaker 1: she stormed into Jacob's tent and she said, give me
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Speaker 1: sons or I'll die. Jacob mumbled something about that request
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Speaker 1: not falling in his pay grade. And Rachel decided to
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Speaker 1: take matters into her own hands. Rachel said, Here is
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Speaker 1: my maid, Bilhah. Sleep with her. Let her substitute for
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Speaker 1: me so I can have a child through her and
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Speaker 1: build a family. Bilhah had a baby and named him,
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Speaker 1: I assume with Rachel's input, Dan, which means vindication, or
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Speaker 1: in our modern parlance, nani-nani-boo-boo. Bilhah became pregnant a second time,
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Speaker 1: and Rachel said, I have been in an all-out fight
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Speaker 1: with my sister, and I've won. So she named him Naphtali,
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Speaker 1: which means fight. Leah could no longer conceive, so now
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Speaker 1: it was her turn to insist that her maid, Zilpah,
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Speaker 1: step in. Zilpah had a son for Jacob, and Leah said,
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Speaker 1: how fortunate, and she named him Gad, which means lucky.
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Speaker 1: When Leah's maid Zilpah had a second son for Jacob,
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Speaker 1: Leah said, a happy day. The women will congratulate me
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Speaker 1: in my happiness. So she named him Asher, which means happy.
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Speaker 1: Something tells me that Rachel did not congratulate Leah in
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Speaker 1: her happiness. Each name was a stab, an arrow in
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Speaker 1: Rachel's heart. Can we try to imagine the tone around
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Speaker 1: Jacob's family table? Would it not have been tense? Everyone
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Speaker 1: was at odds with everyone. Rachel and Leah despised each other.
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Speaker 1: The two handmaidens were rivals. Kids seemed to be born
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Speaker 1: every day. And they were into everything. Always yammering and
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Speaker 1: crying and crawling. No one could talk for the sound
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Speaker 1: of them. Not that anyone wanted to talk. And just
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Speaker 1: when we think the story of Jacob's family could not
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Speaker 1: get any more bizarre, it does exactly that. Reuben, the
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Speaker 1: eldest son, finds some mandrakes in the wheat field. Now,
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Speaker 1: there was a superstition that a person could take mandrakes,
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Speaker 1: turn them into a form of tea, drink it, and
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Speaker 1: that would cure infertility. So Reuben gave them to his
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Speaker 1: mother Leah. Rachel heard about the mandrakes. Remember, she was
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Speaker 1: the one who had no children. And she asked Leah
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Speaker 1: for them. Leah said, wasn't it enough that you got
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Speaker 1: my husband away from me? By this point, Jacob is
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Speaker 1: only sleeping with Rachel. And so Leah is all alone.
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Speaker 1: In desperation, Rachel decides to cut a deal with her sister.
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Speaker 1: Rachel said, if you will give me your son's mandrakes,
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Speaker 1: you can sleep with Jacob tonight. Somehow we missed that
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Speaker 1: story in Sunday school when I grew up. I think
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Speaker 1: we skipped it in seminary. Take it to its core
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Speaker 1: and it's a case of sexual favors being bartered by
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Speaker 1: the two sisters. Take it even deeper and it's a
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Speaker 1: case of two women, each longing for something they do
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Speaker 1: not have. Both are barren, one of affection and one
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Speaker 1: of children. And Jacob, feel free to correct me if
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Speaker 1: you disagree, but shouldn't he step in Shouldn't he speak up?
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Speaker 1: He is so passive. A little leadership wouldn't hurt here, Jacob,
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Speaker 1: if he had taken a stand against Laban, if he
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Speaker 1: had taken up the cause of Leah, or if he
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Speaker 1: had negotiated a peace treaty between the two sisters when
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Speaker 1: handed a handmaiden, if he had said, time out, we're
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Speaker 1: crossing a line here, we're not going to do this.
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Speaker 1: But the guy never did a thing. He seems bewildered,
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Speaker 1: as glassy-eyed as a speckled trout. Trying to figure out
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Speaker 1: how to respond, an exile from his Beersheba home, an
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Speaker 1: indentured servant to his uncle, caught in the crossfire of
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Speaker 1: two wives and two surrogates, kids in chaos everywhere. Sounds crazy,
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Speaker 1: doesn't it? Sounds a bit familiar. perhaps when I was
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Speaker 1: working on this message I received a phone call and
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Speaker 1: I answered it and my friend said what are you
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Speaker 1: working on I said well I'm just reading about Jacob's
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Speaker 1: wacko family and without skipping a beat he said couldn't
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Speaker 1: be more wacko than mine I get it you know
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Speaker 1: the problem with that phrase dysfunctional family is that it
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Speaker 1: implies there's a functional one somewhere. How many people find
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Speaker 1: Jacob's story not only amazing, but oddly and curiously comforting?
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Speaker 1: I mean, if God could use these folks, in time,
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Speaker 1: Jacob would become the embodiment of the people of Israel.
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Speaker 1: And he did so not because of his nature, but
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Speaker 1: in spite of it. Scripture makes no attempt to whitewash
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Speaker 1: this story. No attempt to gloss over the flaws and
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Speaker 1: the humanness of these people. I, for one, find hope
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Speaker 1: in the ability of God to use a family of
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Speaker 1: feuds and friction. Let it be stated clearly and understood deeply.
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Speaker 1: No one has an unflawed family tree. No one. Every
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Speaker 1: family tree has some sap. I thought that was kind
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Speaker 1: of funny. I got a better laugh out of the
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Speaker 1: first service. Try this one. Shake every family tree and
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Speaker 1: some nuts will fall out. No one is spared division.
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Speaker 1: No one is spared competition. There is no perpetually peaceful
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Speaker 1: family table. Now, yours may not have handmaidens and sisters
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Speaker 1: sharing a husband, but yours has something. Families are imperfect
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Speaker 1: because families are comprised of imperfect people. But families are
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Speaker 1: still God's plan. Yet we shake our heads. at some
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Speaker 1: of these families that appear in the Bible. In fact,
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Speaker 1: I would challenge you to find one story of a happy,
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Speaker 1: healthy family in the book of Genesis. Just one. You
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Speaker 1: won't find one in the Garden of Eden. You won't
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Speaker 1: find one in the story of Cain and Abel. You
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Speaker 1: won't find one in the story of Noah, drunk and
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Speaker 1: naked in his own tent. You won't find one with
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Speaker 1: Abraham and their proxy wife debacle that resulted in two nations.
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Speaker 1: We've seen the confusion in Isaac's home. We've seen the
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Speaker 1: kerfuffle in Jacob's home. We could read the entire book
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Speaker 1: of Genesis and walk away saying, why are these stories
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Speaker 1: in the Bible? Why did God include these raw, candid
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Speaker 1: family genealogies in histories? I can think of a couple
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Speaker 1: of reasons. One is a word of caution and the
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Speaker 1: other is a word of comfort. The word of caution.
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Speaker 1: Something happens when we abandon God's pattern for the family.
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Speaker 1: God's pattern for marriage is simple. One man, one woman
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Speaker 1: for life. That's the ideal. And this was his idea
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Speaker 1: before there was a church, a government, or a village.
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Speaker 1: He had created families. And when God saw Adam alone
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Speaker 1: in the Garden of Eden, what did he say? Well,
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Speaker 1: that's not good. This wasn't Adam's idea. There's no point
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Speaker 1: that Adam said, I wish God would make a mate
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Speaker 1: suitable for me. I wish God would put me to
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Speaker 1: sleep and extract a bone from close to my heart
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Speaker 1: and make me a partner. All of this was God's idea.
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Speaker 1: Marriage was God's idea. The family was God's idea. And
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Speaker 1: God's idea of marriage was Adam and Eve, one man,
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Speaker 1: one woman. Not one man with two wives or four wives,
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Speaker 1: but one man, one woman. And there was leaving and
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Speaker 1: there was cleaving. A man shall leave his father and
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Speaker 1: mother and be joined to his wife. So this wasn't
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Speaker 1: a shacking up. It wasn't a casual experiment. It wasn't
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Speaker 1: a social arrangement. It wasn't a let's try it and
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Speaker 1: see what happens. It wasn't a civil union. It wasn't
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Speaker 1: a financial partnership. It wasn't a legal affiliation. It was
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Speaker 1: a holy union. So holy, in fact, that Jesus Christ
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Speaker 1: later said, God has joined the two together, so no
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Speaker 1: one should separate them. That what happens when two people
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Speaker 1: come together in marriage is an interweaving of two lives
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Speaker 1: woven together by God. It was God's plan. So what happened?
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Speaker 1: What happened to Abraham? What happened to Jacob? Simple. They
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Speaker 1: caved into their culture. They caved into their culture. Every
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Speaker 1: society around them was promoting polygamy as a way of life.
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Speaker 1: So our patriarchs followed society and they paid a price
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Speaker 1: for doing so. How many of you would agree when
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Speaker 1: I would say that our culture is contesting and challenging
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Speaker 1: God's view of the family? And that families are struggling
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Speaker 1: these days as a result. Our culture and our creator
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Speaker 1: have two different views of the family. Our culture says
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Speaker 1: marriage is disposable and redefinable. But God says marriage is
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Speaker 1: holy and unchangeable. Culture says marriage is good as long
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Speaker 1: as love is present. But our creator says marriage is
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Speaker 1: good as long as God is present. Culture says marriage
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Speaker 1: exists to make you happy. Our creator says marriage exists
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Speaker 1: to help you be holy. And we choose. Listen to
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Speaker 1: them or listen to him. So the book of Genesis,
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Speaker 1: these stories that we treasure so much, they issue a caution.
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Speaker 1: They issue a caution about marriage and they issue a
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Speaker 1: caution about families. They show us what not to do.
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Speaker 1: They urge us to be careful. They tell us, here's
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Speaker 1: what will happen if you listen to culture rather than
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Speaker 1: listen to God. But let me tell you something, church.
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Speaker 1: They also issue a word of comfort. They show us
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Speaker 1: what God can do with messed up families. Now, if
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Speaker 1: your family is perfect, then you can go ahead and
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Speaker 1: take a nap because the conclusion of this sermon will
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Speaker 1: not apply to you. But if you struggle, and God
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Speaker 1: bless you, little girl. God bless you. But if you
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Speaker 1: struggle with a family that is keeping you up at night,
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Speaker 1: giving you more questions than you can answer, could I,
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Speaker 1: in the name of Jesus, just bless you? bless you
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Speaker 1: and remind you that stories like this are in the
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Speaker 1: Bible to remind us what God can do with imperfect
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Speaker 1: people in fact the whole narrative of the Jacob story
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Speaker 1: is not to aspire us to be like Jacob it's
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Speaker 1: more to inspire us to trust in God who uses
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Speaker 1: Jacob's and if God can take a family like this
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Speaker 1: that was perpetually in crisis, a tree that was blighted
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Speaker 1: with scandal, don't you think he can use yours? Don't
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Speaker 1: you think he can use mine? God is in the
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Speaker 1: business of rescuing families. Hear me, please. He's not finished
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Speaker 1: with yours. He's not finished with yours. He's rescued millions
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Speaker 1: of prodigals, including the one you're looking at. He knows
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Speaker 1: how to work with Disjointed and dysfunctional families. And the
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Speaker 1: story's not over for any family yet. God made a
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Speaker 1: promise to Abraham. And God made that promise knowing full
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Speaker 1: well what Abraham's children would do. But God kept that promise.
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Speaker 1: God promised that his descendants would outnumber the stars, outnumber
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Speaker 1: the grains of sand on the seashore, and that the
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Speaker 1: greatest human being in all of history would spring from
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Speaker 1: his loins. And he kept those promises. And he has
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Speaker 1: made promises to you, my friend. And he has brought
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Speaker 1: some of you into this message today to urge you,
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Speaker 1: don't give up. Don't cave in. Keep believing. Keep praying.
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Speaker 1: Keep leaning in. Keep trusting. God is at work. Amen. Now,
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Speaker 1: Rachel eventually got pregnant. Was it the mandrakes? No, it
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Speaker 1: was God. In fact, scripture is very clear to tell
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Speaker 1: us God remembered Rachel. God listened to her and opened
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Speaker 1: her womb. She became pregnant and had a son. And
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Speaker 1: she said, God has taken away my humiliation. And she
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Speaker 1: named him Joseph. The phrase opened her womb means appeared
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Speaker 1: earlier in the story to inaugurate the story of Leah.
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Speaker 1: And now this phrase appears at the end of the
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Speaker 1: story to celebrate the birth of Joseph. So through the squibbling, squabbling,
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Speaker 1: through the love potions, through the surrogate strategies, through the strutting,
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Speaker 1: through the struggling, through the competition, through the comparisons, Through
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Speaker 1: the tears of the loveless and the tears of the childless,
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Speaker 1: God was in control then. And he's in control still.
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Speaker 1: If your family seems out of whack, entrust your family
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Speaker 1: to your heavenly father. He doesn't see anything in your
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Speaker 1: family he's not seen countless times before. Just trust him
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Speaker 1: to do what only he can do. Please hear our
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Speaker 1: prayers now, Father, for these families. It's really curious, Father.
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Speaker 1: Aside from our spouse, we didn't even pick our families.
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Speaker 1: But we want to love them. We want to do
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Speaker 1: better with them. And we ask for blessings upon them.
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Speaker 1: Through Christ we pray and all the church.
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Speaker 2: Said, Loving you alone feels so beautiful. And yet, it
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Speaker 2: hurts the most.
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Speaker 3: You became my quiet sunrise, the dream I never dared
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Speaker 3: to say. Every smile you gave so freely took my breath.
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Speaker 2: A little away.
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Speaker 4: Held this love like fragile glass so precious soft and
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Speaker 4: true but every beat inside my heart was only reaching
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Speaker 4: out to you unspoken love is sweet and painful like
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Speaker 4: honey mixed with rain a tender hope i hold so
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Speaker 4: tightly while it Slowly breaks me. Loving you from just
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Speaker 4: one side now leaves my soul in silent blue. Cause
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Speaker 4: the deeper that I fall alone, the lonelier I do.
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Speaker 4: I can't blame my heart for choosing someone it could
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Speaker 4: never keep. So I smile through hidden heartache and love
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Speaker 4: you quietly. Unspoken love is sweet and painful like honey
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Speaker 4: mixed with rain. A tender hope I hold so tightly
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Speaker 4: while it slowly breaks me. Loving you from just one
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Speaker 4: side now leaves my soul in silent bloom. Cause the
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Speaker 4: deeper that I fall alone The lonelier I.
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Speaker 5: Do Maybe loving you in silence Is the closest I
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Speaker 5: can stay.
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Speaker 4: Though it leaves behind a sorrow that may never fade away.
30:10
Speaker 5: Unspoken love is.
30:12
Speaker 4: Sweet and painful, like honey mixed with rain. A tender
30:19
Speaker 4: hope I hold so tightly while it Slowly breaks me
30:25
Speaker 4: loving you From just one side now Leaves my soul
30:30
Speaker 4: in silent blue Cause the deeper that I fall alone
30:38
Speaker 3: The lonelier I do