Latest / Twin Mom Life / Holidays in the Hospital, Advocating for Your Babies in the NICU and Adjusting After the NICU

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Holidays in the Hospital, Advocating for Your Babies in the NICU and Adjusting After the NICU · Twin Mom Life

• Jessielee Sittig: Hello and welcome to the Twin Mom Life podcast. I'm your host, Jess. I created this podcast to help build community, connection, and most importantly, friendships among moms of multiples. Being a twin mom can be amazing and magical. That twin bond is unlike anything I've ever witnessed, but it can also be isolating and overwhelming. I'll be chatting with other twin moms, diving deep into the twin experience. This episode is brought to you by Thrive Market. Looking for healthy snacks delivered straight to your door? I got you. As a mom of three littles, I'm always trying to find ways to make my life easier. I've really been enjoying Thrive Market. They carry all of my favorite organic brands I don't feel guilty giving my kids. it's not just a market for food. Thank you for taking the time out of your busy twin mom life to listen along. I hope this podcast shed some light on a topic that's been on your heart and gave you more confidence as a twin mama. If you know a twin mom, please send this her way. If you like what you heard today, please subscribe to the podcast and leave a review. Check out the show notes to be connected with today's guest and get discount codes for brands I love. See you next Thursday. Until then. welcome to the podcast. I'm excited you today. How are you, Steph? Steph: I'm so good, Jess, how are you? Thanks for having me. Jessielee Sittig: Yes, I'm good. OK, so can you tell us a little bit about yourself? Steph: Yes, so I'm Steph. I'm a twin boy mom of identical boys. Similar to Jess's pregnancy, they were in a fraternal anatomy setup. So own placentas, own sex. I think that's called die die. Okay, so die die, but identical. I... Jessielee Sittig: I recently ordered a mineral sunscreen stick and fragrance-free bath bomb for my kids. Use my link in the show notes to get $20 off your first three orders and a free gift. giving advice on what works for us so you don't have to learn the hard way. Juggling two babies at the same time is challenging, but I'm confident we can learn from each other and figure out how to raise these babies together. You are made for this. Mm-hmm. Yep. Steph: Recently just moved from Indianapolis in August to Central Oregon. So we're here now and just adjusting to just us and being a stay at home mom and leaving a whole career behind and family and friends has been a big adjustment. But I am a big advocate to get the boys out every day. I preach that because It's hard when you have no one mentally. It's exhausting emotionally and you just don't realize it till You literally don't know anybody at all and can't really call anyone. But a little bit about me, ⁓ I became a mom, I went to school at Purdue and I did cybersecurity engineering for almost a decade. ⁓ I still ⁓ those in cybersecurity. I'm very passionate about technology. ⁓ obviously I tell the boys all about it. ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Wow. Love it. ⁓ Steph: And I have three cats a dog and I have been married to my great husband Vera For three years three years is our anniversary this Sunday Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ that's awesome. Happy anniversary! That's exciting. Do you guys have any like fun plans to celebrate? Steph: Thank you. Yeah. Any fun plan consists of putting the boys in our hiking backpack and just going hiking because there's so much to see and so much to do. Also, I wanted to tell you thanks for shouting out the Etsy account that you have bought your shirt from because I have the same twin Wranglin. Wait, what is it? Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, twin wrangler, twin wranglin' mama or something. Steph: 10. Yeah, it's so cute with the little boots. And I did a, I'll have to show you pictures. I did a photo shoot with the boys with the shirt on and they have little overalls. It was so cute. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. That sounds so precious. ⁓ that's so cute. Steph: I know, and I was like, I love the shirt, like the material. was like, so thank you. Thank you for putting that out there. Jessielee Sittig: Yes. Okay, so it's a twin mom who does it. Her name is Estelle and she lives in Australia. Like I have to tag her in the show notes because her I feel like all her styles are just like very cute. And it's like the graphic tee that's like you said, like super comfortable. And I like that it looks ⁓ like worn. what's that? Yes, thank you. I'm like, what's that word? It looks like distress. Like it looks lived in but it's really good quality. And yeah, the designs are super cute. So ⁓ Steph: Yeah, you Yes, like distress. Yep. Jessielee Sittig: I have another shirt from her that says, will yap about twins. It's perfect. Steph: love that one. Yes. Don't you have the one that says, yes, my hands are full? Jessielee Sittig: Yes, that's from a different, I know I have so much twin mama gear. have like off the tag all the shops, but the latest one that I've been using is Mountain Designs, ⁓ Steph: ⁓ okay. I love it. Yes, yes. Shout out to Beach Mountain Designs. I love it. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, she's awesome. And she'll love this. Like we I think we connected on Facebook too, because she posted about her, you know, shop and I was like, ⁓ my gosh, this is so cute. And then when we are messaging, I was like, I'm assuming like you're a twin mom, if you are doing like twin mom, you know, merch. And she's like, Yeah, I live in Australia. I'm like, ⁓ my gosh, it's so fun. So just like Steph: Yeah. It's still cool, it's like can we meet you in Australia? Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, yeah. So that's it's fun. And it's always really fun for me to hear people like passionate about something and then they like make a business out of it. So I'm like, how cool she's like, yeah, it's just really neat. So well, that was a little a little side note. But OK, I have to see those pictures of you guys with your shirt on and then with their overalls on. That sounds so cute. OK, so ⁓ you tell me how you filled your cup today or if you have Steph: Yes, I'll show you. Jessielee Sittig: plans to do so. know we're talking kind of late. So did you fill your cup today? Steph: Yeah, no worries. Yeah, it's 6 p.m. I filled my cup. knew you were gonna ask this because I'm a big listener of the podcast and I was like, what do I say? Honestly, I just walked my dog during their nap for probably 10 minutes and obviously I don't go far, but that just felt good to get fresh air without the kids. So that's how I filled my cup. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. I love that. Steph: And then I might do some Pilates after this. I'm still deciding. Jessielee Sittig: Ooh, that's fun. Like, when you do Pilates at your house, like, watch a video or something. Steph: Yeah, I have a reformer and I love watching videos on YouTube. I think it's the best way to learn anything, just digital. And I took classes when I was in Indy for years, but they were not lying that the West Coast is so expensive. I mean, these classes are outrageous. And you probably know that where you're at too. So I think I've had enough classes to know to just keep up with it. Jessielee Sittig: Well, and that's awesome that you have a reformer. That's so cool. Steph: Yeah, yeah, my husband got it for my first Mother's Day. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ my gosh, that's such a sweet gift. Aww. Steph: It was so sweet and the boys basically have grown up with me on it. Jessielee Sittig: That's awesome. I'm like, ⁓ hint, hint. Steph: I know. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, I need to do stuff like that more because I feel like so I go to a yoga studio. So it's Matt Pilates. Like where we are is kind of like rural. So to go to a place that actually has like a studio with reformers is like at least 30 minutes away. So our local yoga studio has Matt Pilates, which is still fun. Not as fun as using a reformer though, like using a reformer is so fun. And yeah, I'm like, I need to look into how much reformers are because Steph: Not swimming. Yes. Okay. Jessielee Sittig: I want one. Steph: Yes, you should. I think you can do it and a lot of the yoga movements that you do and even on the mat transfer to the reformer. I don't know if you've ever seen the videos where they do side by side of the workout and how you can do them on a mat, how you can do them on a reformer, but it's pretty nice and I used to love hot Pilates on the mat. So I'm glad that you do that. And how did you fill your cup? Jessielee Sittig: I will tell you, I feel like I'm in a little bit of a season where I'm not, I need to be doing a better job at that. I'm trying to think. Okay, so I was telling you like off, offline that my boys were just sick. So like my son, Waylon got sick and then gave it to my son Wyatt. So I feel like they have been sick for like combined a little over a week. So that's been a little tiring and I'm still not answering how I filled my cup today. Cause I guess I haven't, but you know what? Talking with you and having like some... space like tonight, I'm not doing bed and bath time because my husband is doing that. So that's nice to have a little bit of a break from that. ⁓ And with twin moms always fills my cup. ⁓ And really need to take like a good shower. Like I was joking, like I'm wearing a hat because my hair is really greasy. So maybe I'll just take like a really nice relaxing shower after our fun chat. Yes, yes. I'm like, I love it too. Steph: Yeah. Mm-hmm. now. you need an everything shower. yeah. is this- is this in your house? can i ask the studio? cuz it looks so good. Jessielee Sittig: So, ⁓ you're so sweet. ⁓ no, this is, okay, this is, I'm like, how do I explain it? We've always called it the building, which is so funny, because everyone else is like, it's like a shed. So it is kind of a big shed though. So my husband is a musician and when we bought our house, we had this built to be like a practice space for him. He plays the bass and is in a band and you can get really loud. Steph: Watch some fun! Jessielee Sittig: It's fun, but I have to explain to everybody this has like we built it with no windows so that it could be soundproofed. So when people come in, I'm like, it's a lot and his band is like a Christian metal band. it's like, it's really fun, but like a different genre and everything, everything in here is black. So like, you'll see like the walls are black and Steph: Yeah. That's so funny. I'm in the gym and it's black. So we're like both. Yeah, that's so cool. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, we have like, we have that vibe. That's our vibe tonight. So I added a plant and a candle and like a nice pillow to like make it not as dark. But yeah, so I'm not in the house, but I'm right outside. Like it's in our backyard. So, but it's turned into like, yeah, I told them I'm like, can I have like a corner of your studio to be like my podcast studio? Steph: I love the plant. aww Yeah. Well, that's amazing. Jessielee Sittig: So we have like in here, it's like a multipurpose space. I'm like looking around. It's like, I'm looking at a drum set. I'm looking at all of his spaces. He works over there. He's got a gym set up over there. So, and then my little podcast space. Steph: ⁓ my gosh. Your little corner. well, I love that that's how you fill your cup too, because I rarely meet twin moms and it's hard to meet new friends as moms, especially when you move somewhere. And so I guess we're both filling our cup like this. So I love that for us. Jessielee Sittig: Yes. Yeah. Yeah, so and it's always fun like we connected online. I think it was initially Facebook and then Instagram. So I feel like it's always so fun when I get to like actually talk to someone other than just like sending messages, which is nice, but being able to like actually chat and like get into the nitty gritty like I love it. I love to to to dive in and like actually actually be able to chat so. Steph: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: So ⁓ I know you twin boys ⁓ and same. So love that we're in like the twin ⁓ boy club. So you tell us about your pregnancy and getting pregnant and all that stuff? Steph: Yeah, so I think I said this offline. Originally, I didn't plan for kids or to get married. And I think the reason why I felt like that is because I felt I just didn't have the right partner. And for a long time, my parents were like, oh, when are you going to have kids? Always pressuring you. When are you going have kids? And I... had a really good career, was traveling the world and I was super selfish. And that's okay to just not want anything but time for yourself and to have your money. But now I look at things completely different, like a 360. It's like, how could I live without being a wife to a great man and having kids and... Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Steph: It's like now I found my purpose and it's like God has blessed me with these babies and right when I became pregnant so we were visiting friends in Tampa, Florida, me and my husband from Indiana so we drove and I felt horrible. I was late on my period. I was super nauseous leaving their house. So. I just started a new job as well. and was remote. ⁓ I've been working remote since before And so ⁓ we left Tampa. We're in like the of nowhere in Florida, like the outskirts, like the very swampy area. ⁓ And I was... ⁓ Not feeling well, so I said let's just go get a pregnant. So well actually my husband was like we need to go get a pregnancy test You're late. I was like, i'm not pregnant. There's no way i'm not pregnant and think similar to a lot of twin moms you feel the symptoms very early ⁓ know that you're nauseous and your hcg levels and everything is just very high and doubled and Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Steph: I didn't want to eat so I yeah we found out basically I'm gonna sum it up we found out that we were pregnant in a gas station not romantic at all Jessielee Sittig: I was gonna say like so romantic. Steph: And I didn't believe it because I'm like this little dingy little gas station and with this test I don't know if it's true and So we drove home right when we arrived home. I think I bought like 10 tests. I've also also I've never bought tests like that in my whole life and so just the fact that I'm Jessielee Sittig: Sure. Steph: doing that was like insane, mind-blowing. And I, you know, I always think about my emotions were like all over the place and obviously thought we were having one baby till we go to our appointment and it was our six-week appointment and we did the stomach ultrasound and I've never seen an ultrasound, so I'm looking at it I'm like, don't see. OK, cool. There's the baby. Cool. And she's like, yeah, you're pregnant. And I'm just looking at the screen and I'm just like, is she done? Like, why is she looking so long? She's not saying anything. We also couldn't record. I love that you have so many people that are on the podcast and they record it and they share it you got your reaction. And I look back and I'm like, ⁓ I wish we had that so bad because you just that moment is just so special. ⁓ then she did the vaginal ultrasound Because she felt like she wanted to she didn't say a reason she said because you're early something like that This is not a great hospital by the way. I did not like this hospital in Indiana. so we're there ⁓ and ⁓ She's doing the vaginal and like well, I'm we this because you have to and ⁓ I could not I Didn't cry I didn't Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Steph: React I was like, okay, and I just looked at my husband. He was like, oh, that's cool. And I was like I Was like is she you know, it's kind of sketch. We're like, is she right is I said, are you sure? She was like, yeah, you have to Jessielee Sittig: Let's go. Steph: So obviously life changed after that. I was telling Jess offline, it's a 0.01 % chance of having twins within our ethnicities. Me and my husband are the same ethnicities. We're Southeast Asian. And it became a little scary because every time they saw us, it was like, yeah, you're high risk, but you're also very high risk because we haven't had much research or studies on this. And I was like, why do we need to have research or studies on Babies, like just have them. I don't know. I didn't understand why we needed to Bring the medical, you know, like all this stuff and so I was the opposite of you when you soaked in every resource about twins I didn't and I didn't do that because I didn't want to scare myself I was I didn't even tell anyone till first trimester result. I mean, I couldn't even eat I could ⁓ yeah pregnancy. hmm Pregnancy was not fun And I don't think it was it is fun for anyone. I mean props to the woman that go through it and just breeze and don't even feel like they're pregnant. That's good for you. It's amazing. But I think that everyone's body is different and that's what a lot of people need to like understand that not everyone's pregnancy is gonna be the same. I was super nauseous all the time. I had food aversions. I didn't eat a lot. I ate White Castle. Do you know what White Castle is? Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, my father-in-law loves White Castle. Steph: Do you guys have one there? Okay Yeah, I I miss it we don't have it here I had White Castle all the time and that was like my saving grace and Taco Bell, but food aversions were high I I Wasn't really worried about Having twins till we took a class maybe second or third trimester online with the hospital just like CPR Jessielee Sittig: No, we don't have them out here, Steph: latching like all the all the mom 101 class things we signed up parenting and they the lady in the class was like ⁓ the mom that's in here that has twins let me look this up for you because i'm not sure and i was like ⁓ i'm like excluded i'm like Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Steph: wouldn't I just have to do it twice? Like she's mentioning things and she's like, well, we don't know how you're gonna give birth and with twins it's more complicated because you'll be in the OR room just like you. And you know, everything is gonna be different. You can't have a water birth, you can't have this. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: from all the doctors telling you so much, I'm a very easy going person. So I was like, whatever happens, happens. They're telling me baby A might have to be vaginal, baby B might have to be C-section. So I'm like, okay, I'll do it, whatever. And they're like, you're so good. Like, I'm like, well, what am I gonna do? I can't just give birth how you really wanna give birth. And so I think I was 29 weeks. and it was October of 2024. And it's funny because I have to share it with you and you can share this, but I made like a trendy TikTok audio and the TikTok audio was like, come on, show them how crazy you are. And it's like, ⁓ when you're trying to show someone that they're moving, but they're not because you're recording. So I made that video. And I'm like, come on, show them how crazy you are. And I was just like, ⁓ let me just post it. And I stopped and my water broke. Jessielee Sittig: Stop. Steph: Yeah, and hold on i'm missing the main piece is where my husband was working at home and He was like don't do anything like don't move any furniture just rest He always told me to rest and i'm also hard-headed and I was like i'm not just gonna sit here and rest. I'm so bored. I'm so big I'm not eating. I was working out at the time. So I was like I can lift weights and like do all that and walk and I mean, I didn't get any medical advice to not do anything as I should be. I didn't have preeclampsia. I didn't have high blood pressure. I was totally fine till that happened and I was moving a whole fridge and a desk. Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: No you were not. Steph: I know, I... And it's big. mean, it's a heavy mini fridge. I was prepping our room because I was like, okay, when the twins are here and I need to put the milk in the fridge and we made our standing... I made my stand... Jessielee Sittig: Did you put a mini fridge in your room? Steph: Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: I've heard another twin mom say that and I was like that is so smart for like middle of the night feeds Steph: We had a small house, but it still helped yeah And then this probably wasn't safe But we had a standing desk and that was their changing table because we could adjust the height my husband's six feet up I'm five five we're tall and I like we're big on like body and how you you're moving and if you're Jessielee Sittig: Yes, I'm so smart. Mm. Steph: if you're straining in some type of way, you shouldn't be. So we did that and we just adjusted the room. anyway, that happened. And then I that video and then we had to go to the hospital. Well, I called the nurse hotline and I was like, I think I'm peeing on myself or my water broke. I don't know. Jessielee Sittig: So it was like a dramatic pop, like water burst. Steph: was like like you're peeing on yourself and i've like i was i was leaking like spotting before that so this amount of gush was abnormal i was like ⁓ my goodness Jessielee Sittig: You're like, you can feel it. You're like, ⁓ I peed a little bit or like, ⁓ shoot, this is, this is my water breaking. Steph: Yeah. It's clear and it didn't smell like pee. we got in the car and my husband was freaking out. I think most men usually do in these circumstances and I wasn't freaked out at all. I was like, maybe it's just. Jessielee Sittig: You seem very chill, like that's so good. You're like, okay, my water broke. Let's go to the hospital. Steph: Yeah, I was like, let's just go and I saw some videos. I was like, you know, for singletons, if your water does break, take your time. Go get some food. Don't rush. If you're not hurting, don't rush it. So I was like, should we get Chick-fil-A? He was like, no, we're going straight to the hospital. Jessielee Sittig: But you should eat though, because once you get there, you don't know when you're going to be able to eat. That would be me. Should we get some chicken? Steph: ⁓ Yeah, yeah She was like, ⁓ my gosh, so we got to the hospital and it took us a while to get seen but I ended up in labor and delivery and they did the ultrasound ⁓ and for sure baby a out of his sack But baby B was still in his sack and they both had enough fluid. So ⁓ I had to stay on bed rest in the hospital for a month to let them bake a little more. Jessielee Sittig: and you stayed in the hospital. Steph: I stayed in that bed, I couldn't leave. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ my gosh, that's so intense. how does this work? Because I feel like we've maybe talked about this on the podcast before. I always thought that once your water broke, it's like a ticking time bomb where you have to give birth within 24 hours because of infection. And that's not the case. They were just monitoring you for infection and they wanted them just to cook longer. Steph: believe that you're right, but that's more for singletons. if their true water, true water broke, the baby doesn't have enough fluid around them or isn't getting nutrients, then you ⁓ to give birth, I think in 24 hours. So I think because there's two babies, ⁓ they have enough fluid and baby B is still in his ⁓ I was fine to just stay in my little VIP room. was the biggest room on the floor. ⁓ I made the most out of it. The nurses were my friends. I got people visiting. I had to ask the doctor for wheelchair access to go outside. And I was like, I need fresh air. Jessielee Sittig: Yes, yes. Steph: I'm not staying. I could walk, but they told me not to walk, so I still got up and walked a little bit. I was like, I'm gonna go crazy. And I did a lot of reading. I did the podcast. I even recorded like two episodes in the room. yeah. But I listened back and I'm like, ooh, that mom and pregnancy brain is so bad. I don't know about you, Jess, but I'm... Jessielee Sittig: That's so cool. Steph: could not speak. I was working up until that moment that I ended up in the hospital and I'm on, I was on calls all day with clients around the world selling cybersecurity and speaking. And I remember just losing my train of thought out of nowhere. And it was, ⁓ my gosh. Did this happen with your singleton baby? Jessielee Sittig: It still happens to me all the time and I'm three years postpartum. ⁓ yeah, I think it was, I'm like, don't know if it was worse because I had a kid first, but I feel like with every pregnancy and like, you your brain just changes so much and you have a lot going on and it's so hard to focus and have, yeah, like, like right now. Steph: Yeah. Stop it! Jessielee Sittig: to have articulate conversations. It's hard, especially while you're pregnant. And then I think that postpartum brain fog just continues. OK, I have a couple of questions about living in the hospital for this long. OK, so I guess the crazy thing about your case is your water broke, but labor didn't start. You never had contractions. Steph: Okay. So I think at 27 weeks I went for the stress test and they saw a few contractions but I didn't feel them at all. And when I arrived they did another stress test. I did a stress test twice a day. Every single day I was in the hospital. I had contractions but I didn't feel a thing. They were probably really light and I was dilated. Jessielee Sittig: Or did they? Steph: two centimeters. they to check me and see but the more they checked you ⁓ could you more. ⁓ So and high risk for infection. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Steph: and I remember getting an IV ⁓ of magnesium ⁓ and that was horrible. I don't know if you've ever magnesium in you. ⁓ So weird makes you super groggy and Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. I don't think so, not like IV, no. Steph: I think that they were doing this to stop and slow contractions. I didn't feel them until they gave me magnesium. It started kicking in and I was contracting, which is so crazy actually to think back because I haven't spoke about this since it happened. And just reflecting on. Jessielee Sittig: Got it, okay. Steph: That day I was so in pain. I have videos and I'm just like talking to the camera and I couldn't speak because I was contracting so hard and That was the first night there and I had magnesium. I had liquids going in me just keep me hydrated I couldn't get up and go to the bathroom. So I had to use their ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: their chair toilet thing. I don't even know the term. And they were like, you can't walk to the bathroom or do you want a catheter? I was like, nope, do not put a catheter. I was like, I don't want one. So I peed on myself probably 10 times because the nurse didn't want to come in. Well, she was kind of busy and my husband fell asleep and I was trying to get his attention. I was like, I need to get up. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. ⁓ gosh. Steph: And so I didn't want to bother the nurse so I was like pushing the button but the first night was chaos and I was like How long am I gonna be here? Obviously, you don't know you just don't know told me This is your home now You're not leaving Until you give birth want to bother the nurse so I was like pushing the button but the first night was chaos and I was like How long am I gonna be here? Obviously, you don't know you just don't know They told me This your home now You're not leaving Until you give birth Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Hmm. Steph: And obviously some days after that, because postpartum and then we had the NICU. So was like, I'm never leaving. This is like my home. So just to hear those words was so terrifying. But I honestly look back, Jess, and it is the most rest that I have ever received in my life. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm, you're like forced to. Steph: Yeah, and so I look at that moment as God telling me to slow down and rest because my whole life I've been on the go. I've been working even through the pregnancy. I've been pushing it. So yeah, I was forced to stay in the hospital and I made it a routine and I'll have to show you pictures. You can even post some over the video. I had a Christmas tree because it was Christmas time and then it Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ I love that. Steph: And then it was Thanksgiving. we had, I just spent like all holidays in there. was like, it was really my room. had fairy lights all around. Like all the nurses were so obsessed with my room. I had my own little coffee, portable coffee maker. Cause I was like, I need my coffee. I'm not drinking hospital coffee. And my husband made dinner every single day and brought it. He brought the pets to me. It was like, it was so homey in there that. I look back and it's it I mean it was traumatic it was super hard and like I had nightmares about all the beeping and all the noises and it is very traumatic but I look at it as like Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Mm-hmm. Steph: If I didn't have that rest, the babies would have had more NICU time. I would have been born way earlier. So I just rested and rested and made the most out of it. It was very weird because in that hospital Jessielee Sittig: Mm. Steph: I was in a floor called antepartum, which means before or after postage. No, it's before, before partum. So this floor was mainly for women that had any bleeding and they just need to be fixed up and watched and give medications or high blood pressure or plecremia. So I was the longest staying person in there. And I mean, I saw moms come in and out because I would go heat up my food and I would you know wave at the moms I'm like I don't have anyone to talk to and the nurses yeah the nurses were like Steph you gotta go back to your room I'm like ⁓ okay I'm like how's the mom next door cuz I heard her throwing up at night is she okay Jessielee Sittig: That's hard. Steph: And I just can't go in there. I'm glad that most of them had family. My husband spent tonight every now and then, but I really wanted him home with the pets because I was like, those are our babies. And we lived like 10 minutes away from the hospital. So it wasn't too far. for the most part, I felt very lonely. ⁓ ⁓ had so many conversations online with friends, with... with the nurses, with the moms that I met and just seeing them coming and going I was like so ready to get out I was gonna mention one thing that I did prep for because I didn't know how I was gonna give birth honestly the boys were head down ⁓ for a long time. They were head down at 25, 24 weeks and never moved. They've always been head down. So the doctor was guessing that it would be vaginal and it was at the end. But some things that I prepped for was actually listening to podcasts of how to give birth and about how to breathe during your birth, how to prep your body because any type of Any type, any way that you do give birth, you just have to learn to just breathe and like calm yourself down because I was I was prepping for like the most chaotic birth. I. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. What were of your favorite podcasts that you listened to? ⁓ Steph: Yeah, off the top of my head, I don't remember the names. ⁓ I mean, I can look it up, but I think it's... Yeah, I'll have to share it with you, but there is a podcast that is breath work and it teaches you during a contraction. Jessielee Sittig: Okay, I was just curious. Steph: When do you breathe? How do you count? How do you hold your breath? When to do it? How to not exhaust yourself when you're pushing or even laying there doing a C-section ⁓ you can fall asleep. So all of these different things that I learned ⁓ and I did lot of meditating by just holding ice and counting. So that's another exercise on the podcast. ⁓ And took cold showers every single day because I'm I was like seriously like prepping my body and I was running really hot so that also helped Jessielee Sittig: That's huge though. I remember my birth with my daughter, so I have a blood clotting disorder and I was initially told like, we don't know if you can get the epidural. It really depends on your platelet count. So if your platelet count is too low, then we can't give you the epidural. So I didn't want to, like I definitely wanted to have my daughter vaginally, but I wasn't trying to like have her without the epidural. So I remember like looking into, like breath work and hypno babies and all these things to try to prep myself. And I remember like just everything happened kind of fast and furious overnight because they weren't, I was induced as a first time mom, they weren't really expecting me to progress that quickly. And I was having the hardest time breathing through the contractions. I was not doing it correctly. And instead of breathing through, I was like tensing up and holding my breath. And the nurse was like, We're not gonna get through it if you're if this is how you're gonna do it. So you either need to like work on your breaths and try to relax through each contraction instead of tensing up or like you need to decide to get the epidural. So I wish that I... Steph: You were doing that and you didn't have epidural. Jessielee Sittig: Right, that was before the epidural. But I wish that I would have, I wish that I would have done a little bit more like practice with that because I feel like I listened to a podcast and was like, okay, I'm good. And I didn't do like a good job of like actually practicing while I was calm and not in labor, because it didn't come naturally for me to breathe through it and to not tense up when I was in a lot of pain. So I did opt for the epidural. Steph: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: I tried and it was really hard. So I think that's really good advice of like all the things you were doing, like meditating with ice and like doing all of these things, like leading up to it, you know, as opposed to just, I don't know what I did. Steph: Yeah, I mean, I was also really bored. And I don't think like if I was home, I would do that. I was just so bored. And I was like, I guess I should prep for this. Like, I guess I should get ready. But ⁓ think it's advice that I have. But I would say if you're just that mom that's like, whatever, and you don't want to prep for it, like, that's fine, too. Just know that. However, you give birth is okay and like if you have hard time breathing like you did and you just don't know because you can do all the stuff and then you get there and it's like ⁓ my goodness major shock This is like not what I imagined and like you said your body's not calm You're super tense and I remember during that time It was a huge birthday party by the way my birth story like I had such a traumatic before birth and then after birth and then NICU, but I'd say that our NICU was also not traumatic. So my birth was like, I always shine light on like there can be positive births and it's okay to not be scared, but it's also okay to be scared because if you're a first time mom and... Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: If you imagine like giving birth, obviously it's scary. You just never know what could happen. And I just had the best nurses and I got to pick my nurses because I was there all month and they were like, Steph, you can pick your nurses if they're not working. Like which ones do you want to come and work? And it was like the coolest thing because when I tell you these girls were like my cheerleaders, my like everything and they were just so sweet. And I had Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: Just to give you the big picture, when I was there during the whole month, I had nurses from postpartum, from labor and delivery, from the NICU, from all floors. So they were all different types of nurses, so I was gonna see them postpartum anyway, without really realizing it. And so I got to ask a lot about the NICU and everything. So I was Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Steph: Exactly 34 weeks. It was the morning of I had to get induced. They didn't give me an option ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: And okay, I was going to say, was that decision made? They were just like, it's time. It's been like they've got to cook long enough and now we're going to get them out. Steph: Yep, they the doctor said okay Their sac brokett 29 weeks by 33 or 34 and I said, we please do 34? I do not want to have That much NICU time. I mean you never know but like, you know how they make it sound it's like you just never know and so I yeah, they just said you have to get induced and I was like Why do I have to get induced? Like I was so confused because I aren't my wife Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Steph: I'm already contracting. What does inducing do to me? I induced in the morning with pitocin and ⁓ I went 10 hours without epidural and I regret it because ⁓ I was pain and I I don't really regret it because it's like I look back and I listen ⁓ my husband all of it cuz I was like if I do anything just record and I didn't want Jessielee Sittig: Hahaha! Mmm. Steph: Any part of him on me I didn't want him to comfort me and it was like so it was so crazy to watch back and it's like It's really scary when you're contracting you just you're The amount of pain that you just have are insane and you know So I opted for the epidural pretty late But I remember I got the epidural And obviously I felt 10,000 times better. I finally got to rest and I laid down. I took a nap for maybe two hours. I woke up. They checked me and it was time and it was just time. They were like, yeah, you're 10 centimeters girl. I was like, all right, let's go. Let's have this birthday party. So it was so cool. And similar to you, all the people were in our overall room. I mean, you have the NICU team, you have your labor and delivery nurses. I had double. I had way more because they knew me from that time and they were like, we just want to be in here. We're just going to help. We're just going to be here. And I also had a nursing student in the room and they asked me, are you OK with her being in here? I was like, yeah, she was maybe 20. Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: to 23, she was very young and she asked me is it okay because she's never seen a birth. Obviously she's going to school to be a labor and delivery nurse. She's never seen a birth so this was her first time seeing a twin birth. Like how cool? And she was so sweet that she recorded. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Steph: everything. She took so many pictures of everything. didn't... obviously you're in that moment, you're not really paying attention to all these people and there's just so many people and everyone's talking and I was mainly listening to my husband and the doctor and I didn't realize that she was next to me the whole time. Jessielee Sittig: Mmm. Steph: like recording and taking pictures and I mean the rawest moments of my life. It so sweet that she was there and just to be able to capture that and have those memories like mean the world to me ⁓ it was just so special. So the boys were born baby A came. ⁓ I think I pushed for maybe 30 minutes and then baby A came out and then they realized that my bladder wasn't emptied so then they emptied that and baby B just slid out 10 minutes after like Just slid out. I barely had to push but also they were very tiny. That's I think that's a blessing in disguise It's that they were so tiny that I was so privileged to just be able to just have this easy birth And when I tell you just I was in there for a month just praying for them to get out. I was so uncomfortable And and now I miss them being in me. So you you know, you just missed the like the little the little movements all the time and Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: And so they came out, they were super healthy, both did amazing. I was fine. Baby A was the one that broke the sack so He was below baby B. Baby B was like up on my ribs and baby B was down on my bladder. So me and my husband think that baby B popped baby A's sack because he's I'm sure you have a more wild twin. Baby B is like I don't know. He's crazy. He's a character. Baby B too? Oh my gosh. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Same. Same girl. Mm-hmm. Yep. He's wild. Steph: Yeah, yeah, he's pretty wild and we're like, yeah, he was the one kicking all the time and we couldn't ever find him on the stress test because he was moving so much. So we're like, all right, you're that's you. So they got in the warmers on for the NICU team and ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: you Steph: good news, they were like, they're breathing fine, they don't need anything, we're gonna leave, and the NICU team was like, we're gonna leave, you can have time with them, and I was like, ⁓ my gosh, this is amazing, and then, I don't even know how much time we had, it wasn't that long, it just felt so fast, we had to get out of there, and they wheeled me to the postpartum room, and the saddest thing was like them just taking the babies to the NICU, I, Now that I look back, I'm like, why'd they take them? But I think just it's a routine when you're born early. So there wasn't anything clearly going on with them medically. But so they went upstairs to the NICU and I was in postpartum and they were like, are you ready to go see your babies? Like, do you want to try and get up and walk and all this stuff? And I'm over here and like, okay, yeah, I can get up. I get up and I pass out. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ no! Steph: Yeah, I got a little too excited and I lost a lot of blood and there I And my husband and I talked about it. We're like, why did they ask you to get up and go to the bathroom? Why couldn't I just get wheeled over? So I don't know. I think they were just trying to see how it felt but so ⁓ ended up getting wheeled over that ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: night it was like maybe 4 a.m. when I finally got to meet them and we gave birth at 11 p.m. so went to the NICU and then that's where our NICU journey started the boys had just different things going on here and there but the main thing is that they just didn't know how to eat and all the nurses will say like it's a boy thing and I hate when people say that Jessielee Sittig: Mmm. Steph: but you realize it's true and they were there were twin girls born, I don't know, 20 something weeks early and they left the NICU super fast because they learned how to eat really fast and they were like, it's a boy thing, like boys just take forever to learn. it felt, it just felt horrible because I was pumping so much milk ⁓ ⁓ Couldn't breastfeed too much and having trouble with latching because I'm having mastitis and all these issues and I'm going to lactation ⁓ they're coming to the room with the boys crying and telling me how to breastfeed and it was like ⁓ a big shock postpartum as a new mom. I Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: I I understand the benefits of breast milk and breastfeeding, but to get thrown that as the only option of how to feed was like crazy. I mean, already being in the NICU and Seeing all that and the saddest thing about the NICU is that in my case is that our boys were probably and Maybe were the most healthiest there for a long time from all the other babies and they were at the end of the hallway they got the biggest room too and Just passing all the babies hurts so bad. I mean every single morning, every single night we went, it was just so hard because you have an incubator and some babies are covered. You can't see them at all. Or there's a blue light for some medical reasons that they have or they're having surgery and you just pass all the babies and they've been there months. months, months on end. it's, it's also really sad because you rarely see the parents. And you rarely see the parents because they have to work, financial reasons, et cetera. And I also learned someone told me, I think the nurses said like, most NICU babies are actually from drug addicts or parents that aren't the healthiest. So it was Jessielee Sittig: Mm. Hmm. Steph: And maybe that was just the NICU that we had in Indiana. But ⁓ NICU was weird. I mean, it was very weird. had nurses that would tell me that I can't change my baby's diaper. We had like weird cases. And I'm in a NICU twin mom support group on Facebook. ⁓ there's a lot of nurses that do this to a lot of twin moms. And they like to keep the twins on a schedule. ⁓ ⁓ They want to do everything around the clock and they want to change the diaper when they do this and like And as a big advocate and my husband is also in the medical field. He he used to be icu trauma nurse And we we were like, no, you're not gonna tell us what to do And I think there's so many Parents at the NICU now That don't even know that you can turn off the beeping Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: You can ask to turn off the noises. You can ask to do this. can, you can literally like that's don't forget that that's your baby because you get so caught up in the nurses coming in and the doctors coming in and they're doing everything and they're telling you these things. But as long as you're there, you can do everything on your own. And I think most, we had a really great primary nurse later on in our journey there, like towards the end. And she's amazing. We still talk to this day and she loves seeing the boys, but there's so many parents that don't realize, ⁓ we can actually do bottle and breast. can take a break. We can do this. You can change their diapers you can unhook the cords if you're comfortable. ⁓ The nurses super flexible with us after they learned that we were comfortable, but a lot of parents just assume that they can't do it. ⁓ And that into a scary NICU ⁓ journey if like can't ⁓ do it your child or be there. I think it's eye-opening too, just to be able to learn everything in the NICU. We learned so much about latching, about doing things and keeping them on the same schedule, but I honestly hated the NICU. Like I look back at the photos and I'm like, I hate that place so much. And I don't ever want to have a baby in there or see a baby or have any, I never wished on anyone. And I know that the NICU can help in various ways, I think that it was so ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: traumatizing after I don't think anyone talks about this or I've really never heard a lot of people Bring it up until I read about it on Facebook, but bringing your NICU baby home. ⁓ my gosh it is a complete nightmare because and it's from when people bring their babies home from the postpartum room you still have to adjust but ⁓ The Nikyu, they are so used to these things. We had to turn on NICU noises on the YouTube to get them to stop screaming, basically. And questioning, am I a good mom? How do I do this? ⁓ I exclusively pumping for a while. Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ my gosh, because they were so used to that noise. Steph: And I was so given up on breastfeeding ⁓ when we got home, I was like, how do I do feeding schedule? ⁓ because they were doing bottle and sometimes breast in the NICU if I wanted to try, but I was like, I'm not gonna beat myself up and keep trying if I can't. And I was like, how am I gonna do my schedule? How am I gonna, I'm not a very scheduled person. So just them telling you everything before you leave the NICU. Please keep them on this schedule, please. I ripped it apart. I was like, this is, we're not at the NICU. We are home. You're gonna adjust to our schedule. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Steph: You guys are two different babies and i'm not keeping you on the exact same schedule If one doesn't want to eat like we were running into like, okay One doesn't baby a doesn't want to eat baby b wants to sleep. It's like why do need to wake him up? especially If their weight was fine. If their weight wasn't fine and they weren't gaining the right weight and all these other medical things and like yeah, it'd probably be easier to keep them on the same schedule. But I didn't give up on breastfeeding and I actually kept tandem feeding them for about six to seven months with alternating formula and then I was like, all right, I'm done. I want my life back. And I was like so tired and during my postpartum, I think what were they two months? So we were just home from the hospital and I. Jessielee Sittig: I was wondering that, so how long did you guys end up staying in the NICU? Steph: A whole month. The day after Christmas we came home. Jessielee Sittig: Okay, ⁓ that's special, the day after Christmas. Steph: It was special. It was very special, but just I feel like I was just there for four months like three months because I was there a month before and then Yeah, like during postpartum room. I was like never in that room I was always in the NICU and I couldn't understand well I kind of can because I was a patient but I was like why can't I go sleep upstairs? Like nothing's I'm just taking pain meds to deal with the pain down there Jessielee Sittig: Okay. Mm. Steph: That's all that they were doing in the postpartum. I didn't have a baby with me. Usually they help you with the baby. So yeah, we were in there for a whole month and then they had one month. They turned one month in the hospital and then we came home and the day after Christmas, super special. And as soon as we came home and I told you the adjustment was so hard, remember just being overstimulated for one because What a lot of people don't know about the Niki is like, your babies never really cry in there. They are like, swaddled up. Their beds are warmed. They are sometimes on their tummy, sometimes on their side. because it's monitored, so they can sleep however they want. And they're wrapped like little burritos, so they can't like move. Obviously they don't want them to move because they have things hooked up to them like checking their blood pressure their oxygen and all these things and But we were so privileged because when we got to the Nikki we unplugged all of it and would just hold them and the nurses were fine with it So like I tell you it's completely different for everyone, but as soon as we got home Obviously we had to swaddle them ourselves, which I hate I don't know if you swaddled your boys Jessielee Sittig: We the Ollie wrap. Have you heard of the Ollie swaddle? We loved it. It's just like Velcro. Steph: I think so. Is it when your arms are down? Jessielee Sittig: Mm Yep. So you put their arms down and then it's like this stretchy material and that has Velcro and then the bottom like ties. So we tried a million swaddles with my daughter. We tried just like the old fashioned swaddle ourself and she broke out of it every single time. And then the Ollie has been like tried and true. Steph: I was nervous. Yeah. ⁓ Yeah, Yep. Mm-hmm. That's sweet I haven't I didn't buy that one for the boys we bought one similar But you know what the Velcro was so loud in middle of the night. I got so annoyed with it Jessielee Sittig: It is, you're right. It is really loud. Steph: I think just overall getting hit with just doing everything and dealing with them screaming at the top of their lungs overstimulated me and I had a fever of about 104 and out of nowhere I Jessielee Sittig: Drumasthitis. Steph: No, I I don't so I thought I was having a panic attack because I thought I was just exhausted I wasn't getting any sleep. I was so tired I mean my husband and I it was just us. No one came over to help postpartum. No one was there for us We didn't have anything cooked. We were cooking we were like doing everything and I know but it's okay. So we look back and Yeah, we were so tired. I was pumping at the same time Jessielee Sittig: I'm so sorry. Steph: and feeding them and like trying to figure out things trying to breastfeed still I think it just ate me up and I ⁓ I almost ended up in the ER that night and my husband with a medical background was like Like we have to call 911 and it was the boys feeding time during this so I was like freaking out. was like I need a breastfeed. I have to feed them. I have to feed them. He was like no like we have formula too because the NICU sends you home with formula and he's like it's okay like you know they'll be fine I'll make the bottles and I was like We can't call 911. We're not paying that ambulance bill and and no one can take me so I call My parents that come over so they came over they live about 40 minutes away. So that took a while. Yeah, so I ended up going and What did I have? I had a bladder infection And I was like what how like what and and Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Hmm. ⁓ Steph: Before birth or before pregnancy, guess I forgot to mention too. I had, I also thought I couldn't have kids because I had... Pap smears that came abnormal. And so I had two coposcopies done. It's where they scrape the inside of your walls inside your vagina. And ⁓ my gosh, it hurts more than giving birth. They literally scrape you and like send it to the labs and I had two times it came back cancerous But then they do like an after test after that and it came back with nothing But I literally had an OBGYN doctor and he was like you're not gonna have kids if you don't have them now And I was like what? Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ my gosh. That's so terrifying to hear. Steph: It's so scary and he was like, you better think about having them soon. I never said anything to this man that I wanted. We switched doctors because he was very weird. But he just kept saying that and saying that. So it was instilled in my head that I was like not going to have kids. So I was scared during this time. I was like, is something going on with my body? Like what's going on? So I went to the ER and the doctor, ⁓ bless his he was so sweet. He was like, I got to get you home to your twins. You're OK. You just have a bladder infection. ⁓ And I like, can I just stay the night here? ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Noooo Steph: And you know, you kind of just miss the hospital when you've been in it and you've slept so good in it I wasn't Yeah Jessielee Sittig: Like you got comfortable. Steph: Mm-hmm, and I wasn't getting any rest when they're in their NICU I think a lot of other non NICU parents think like ⁓ you get to sleep so much because your baby's in the NICU They're being taken care of we spent the night so much and I'm up Pumping I'm watching them on the on the angel eye cameras that they have thank goodness They had the cameras or else I would go crazy I would call it like 3 a.m. And I'm like baby bees head is covered with a swaddle And they're not so worried about that as you would be at home because they're monitoring the babies. And I was just like, do they not care? Why is his face covered? And it would look really scary when they would just stare at the camera. But it was like cute. They're like little glow in the dark aliens. Because you know, like the little newborns and they're just staring at the camera. So I'm like, I can't sleep now. Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. No. That's really cool though, so they have these monitors that you can watch while you're at home so that you can see your babies in the NICU. That's really special. Steph: Yeah, it's so sweet. It's an app called Angel Eye and it's really sad because you hear a lot of Nikkies that don't have them and that's like, that's even more terrifying is just not being able to see them and unless you're actually there, that's really hard too. But yeah, so I ended up in the hospital and then after that, my husband was like, I don't want you like near them at all I just want you to rest because he knows that they get stimulated by my milk and they wanted a breastfeed and he knows the balance of having a bottle versus breast and not Tiring me out by tandem feeding and like I wasn't eating I wasn't resting and like that's not healthy either. So that was a journey postpartum was such a journey and then when the boys when the turned three or four months. I decided to to start with my friends a cybersecurity startup business. And I don't know why, why I just wanted to do it. And so I was working for a few months. I don't do it anymore, but I was the chief product officer of a cybersecurity startup. And we just like, I was on calls all day while taking care of them. I had my headphones on that were noise canceling, but I don't give that advice to anyone. Don't do that to yourself. I look back and I'm like, all right. I thought I had it all good because they were napping and then ⁓ the time, but I really needed to fill my cup. Like you say, take care of yourself. Enjoy the times with your babies. ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: a lot. Steph: me for advice I'm like just slow down just soak it all in and it's easier said than done because in that moment you just like hate life and you you're like in survival mode and you don't know how else you're gonna survive and take care of two and Jessielee Sittig: Hmm. Steph: It really got hard because my husband went back to work and he worked nights as a nurse and I remember doing those bedtime and bath all by myself and just being in the thick of it and just crying like every single day and just feeling like super lonely and then now Now that they're almost there'll be two in november, which is like crazy. Like you say they're gonna your boys are gonna be three It's like wow like Yeah, and you look at these Jessielee Sittig: I can't believe it. Steph: little angels and they're growing and learning and speaking and all these thriving things because of your you because of your parent like you guys and it's it's so fulfilling to to know that every day we do fill our cup by raising our kids ⁓ And I look back and think about our journey and I reflect and I will always say that that time in the hospital was such. ⁓ Break that I needed and now it's like I've never really had a break till then but now Look now I know how to balance things now. I know now I've like I feel like I've got the hang of it and They're walking now. So obviously I don't have to carry them up and down the stairs anymore sometimes I still do just because I miss it and Sometimes they'll cuddle me if they're sick and they only say mama and like a whiny voice. I don't know why they don't say it in a happy way Jessielee Sittig: Cause you're their comfort, like mama. Steph: yeah i know they're like mama i'm like okay and then dada's all happy Jessielee Sittig: So where do you think that shift came? Like you were talking about how like postpartum was so overwhelming and that was all a lot bringing them home from the NICU. I've heard other NICU moms say that, that it's just like a lot to bring home these babies that were in the NICU for a long time. And then now you have this good balance and ⁓ do you think was that shift that helped you to become more balanced? Steph: I think the shift definitely happened when stopped breastfeeding and I stopped pumping ⁓ and... ⁓ People that are, I don't know how to say this. People assume that it's just so easy. And I just had a talk with this to a friend here that I met. She just found out she's six weeks pregnant too. And she's like, ⁓ I can just, I just want to breastfeed and like, you know, all these things. And I was like, well, there's, there's layers to it. You can't like, you just have to understand how these things work. And I was like, you know, not everyone produces the same milk glands as you like, you just never know how your supply is and, and things. Because that can hurt a lot of people postpartum if they're really on feeding your baby a certain way. But I think it hit me when I stopped and I just got my life back and I got time to myself. I started doing my Pilates. I started feeling fine about just giving them ⁓ and giving them food and they were eating solids and ⁓ more into that cup and teaching them how to eat had me more fulfilled instead of forcing myself to keep up with the supply ⁓ it's just ⁓ It was just so hard. like, I love when I hear there's twin moms that produce so much and have done a tremendous amount for their child. And I'm like, wow, that's like amazing. But I think that as a society that preaches breast is best is so hard on moms that can't and... I even have like a best friend who's just so exhausted of pumping and all these things and it's mentally taxing because for as long as you're breastfeeding or any stimulation to your breasts, you're- still in that postpartum mindset. You're still going to have some type of postpartum anxiety, depression. It's going to stimulate you as well as the baby. I remember just stopping and the boys ⁓ The boys left our room about six, five to six months. They started sleeping in their own room, which was like right next to our room. I guess when they slept throughout the night, things got easier. ⁓ But then now I'm over here like, what is this sleep regression? What is this teething? What is going on? It's like we were fine and now it's like we're backtracking. And I guess it's easier than a newborn feeding and crying and all these things. But Jess, now I have to deal with baby B or baby A waking up and saying, wow, moo and quack. Jessielee Sittig: That's so cute though. Steph: And I'm like, I'm like, do other moms go through this? Because I, when I speak to the friends that I have. They tell me that they can't relate and like their babies never had sleep regression or night terrors. I'm like, is this a twin thing? So then I asked the twin mom page on Facebook, the support group, and they're like, yeah, like this has happened. These are the things that we've done. Like I talk to chat GPT all the time about their schedules and ⁓ they've dropped down to one nap. But it's like when we have those nights. Like you said, it's so cute when they're up talking and they're saying all these things. My friends are like, Steph, you're just doing a really good job. And I'm like, yeah, you're right. And I'm like, all right, I'll take that. it's really hard when they just won't go back to bed and it's 1 a.m. and I'm exhausted. ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Aww. Steph: My husband's schedule is like extremely busy. So But but you know, I will take the cuddles over Over the newborn stage Even though I really do miss it. I miss when they were tiny Jessielee Sittig: I feel the same way. feel like and I feel like it's very normal when you are learning a new skill and your brain is excited for you to want to practice those skills. So saying that it's cute. I know it's not cute when you're being woken up at one in the morning, but it is cute that they're like learning the skill and they're learning these new words and they want to practice it. So your friend is right. Like you're doing a good job and they're developing their speech and you know, and I just think Steph: Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: every chapter that I've had and my twins are only they're almost three so it's not like ⁓ my gosh I've been a twin mom for two decades no like I'm still in the thick of it too like every season is hard in different ways and I do agree like I not that I'm not a fan of the newborn stage I hate to phrase it that way but like that is out of all the stages that's not my favorite because you know you're not sleeping you're not getting a lot of Positive feedback where at least in the toddler phase like even when you're having Tantrums and sleep regression. There is so much good that you're like you're getting out of that relationship where in the newborn phase like you're really just taking care of like a blob, you know, ⁓ yeah, the cuddles are fantastic, but I do like the toddler stage better So I just hope that you get some ⁓ sleep soon. I know it's hard ⁓ Like I was saying, my boys have been sick the past week and have not been sleeping well at all. And, you know, so I feel that that, yeah, that hopefully. Steph: I know. I was gonna ask you, so have had sleep regression and teething in the middle of the night? Like, what did you do? ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: Yeah, mean, so for teething, we would just give them something depending on how bad it was. Like we might offer like Tylenol or Motrin or we use these teething drops. Oh, I have to look up the name. It was like a homeopathic like, yes, we use that. I see, I felt like that helped with the fussiness. Like, you know what I mean? We're kind of like through the teething now. They're getting their back. Steph: It's like a chamomile one. Yes. You those. Those don't do anything! Hmm. Thank you. Jessielee Sittig: four molars and they're almost all in. So we'll be done with teething, but you know, we still get these regressions when like right now they're sick and they're waking up because they don't feel good and they want to sleep by me and stuff. so, well, I'll go in there and hold them, but there was one night that Waylon like slept with us because he was just like uncomfortable, you know. Steph: Yeah. they get up and walk to your room? Yeah, I just needed you guys. How sweet. Jessielee Sittig: Yes, he just wanted some cuddles. But do your son suffer from night terrors? You said like you mentioned so ⁓ my Waylon was really suffering with night terrors. And it was so hard because we would go in there and he was still clearly sleeping and just like thrashing in his sleep and crying. ⁓ And was talking to one of my friends about it and her son had night terrors. ⁓ And started using a nighttime vitamin. This is like Steph: Yes. Ye- Jessielee Sittig: So I recommend it. started using it. It's HIYA ⁓ vitamin. I think that's what it's called. I'm trying to remember, like, bedtime essentials. ⁓ it's melatonin. It's just like magnesium and like a few other things that help support a deep sleep. And he has not had a night terror since. He's woken up. He's woken up in the middle of the night since then, but he has not had a night terror. So. Steph: Okay, I'm moving into it. The night terrors are so scary. I mean, he's like flailing and I'm trying everything. And sometimes when you wake them up or when you hold them and you get up, it wakes them up. And it's like, I don't want to just let him cry and... Jessielee Sittig: Mm-hmm. Yeah. It just makes it, yes. Steph: And it's so hard, but yeah, I'm gonna look into it. I know that over time, and one thing you also said, the teething, they are extreme teethings. They have a full mouth of teeth and it has gone extremely fast. I feel like a tooth pops out every morning. And it's going like we we really had to we had to take them to the dentist just because our pediatrician was like They have so much teeth And I was like, this is so scary All the teeth Jessielee Sittig: Well, if anything, like not that this is like fun, but it's almost like you're like ripping the bandaid off and all of their teeth or it sounds like they're coming in like earlier. So I know this isn't like a fun season right now, but maybe they'll be done teething like before. You're your friends kids. And I do think that all kids handled teething differently. Like I've had the same thing, right? Like where Steph: Yeah. ⁓ Yeah. It's not. very different, Jessielee Sittig: the pain just feels more for some kids where some kids handle it better. ⁓ it's like you're not doing anything wrong. And if your kid's teeth are coming in you know, three, four at a time, I would imagine that that's way more painful than just like ⁓ one coming in, you know? Steph: Yeah. ⁓ Jessielee Sittig: But also for night terrors. So my friend just did so much research and stuff on this. I'll just like, ⁓ you want to hear about it, I'm happy to tell you like what else I did. So the hardest thing about a night terror is the times that we would try to wake him up, it made it worse. And like the first time that my son had a night terror, we thought someone broke into our house. Like I've never heard him scream like that. And then we ran into his room and he was sleeping and we were like, what is happening? So my immediate reaction is like, of course you go and pick him up and then it would honestly only make it worse. So what she recommended was doing that nighttime vitamin then going in there and not trying to like wake them up or pick them up because it can make the night terror worse. But instead letting him know subconsciously, cause the night part of a night tear is that they are still sleeping. Like he's not awake while this is happening. Steph: Mm-hmm. Jessielee Sittig: that you can go in there and like sh him or sing him a song that he might know. So I would, don't know if this is like gonna come over the mic, but I'm like shushing like I would shh, shh. And then I would rub his back. And I did that. I did it for four minutes, which felt like a really long time and he fell asleep and I could not believe it because for weeks before he would like just scream all night long and I would pick him up and he would wake up and I would try to comfort him. And it was just, it was awful. It was a really, really hard time. Steph: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Jessielee Sittig: and like switching what I did and then doing the nighttime vitamin really helped. So I'm sorry you're going through that. Having night terrors is so hard. Steph: Okay. Yeah, I will definitely take those tips. The hardest thing too is when one wakes up the other and I'm there shushing and I've tried to shush and then the other one hears me and I'm like, were you not asleep? Jessielee Sittig: Yeah. Steph: How do you hear me right now? And then they both want me. They have floor beds. They sleep in the same room. And I told my husband last night, I was like, do we separate them? And I was like, ⁓ my gosh, I could not. I don't want to do that. Like I can't even imagine maybe when they're older, but for this age, obviously it's so easy just to go in there for both of them. But I'm going to try. I'll get the nighttime vitamin and do that. Jessielee Sittig: Yeah. I hope that helps like it's made a difference in our family and I just know how awful having night terrors are so and like handling that so I'm sorry that you're dealing with it and I hope that that helps. Steph: Yeah. Yeah, thank you. Thank you. Yeah, it will. I hope so. I will let you know. I'll keep you updated. Jessielee Sittig: so one big theme of the podcast ⁓ of this episode and your story has been slowing down. And I just feel like that is such a good ⁓ token for moms, especially twin moms to take, like maybe this is your sign to like slow down a little bit. So you mentioned that earlier and what other pieces of advice do you have or if you could have a heart to heart with a twin mom, what would you tell her? Steph: to heart ⁓ with a... ⁓ Can do an twin mom? ⁓ And also a twin ⁓ Because I feel like connected with so many expecting twin moms lately. ⁓ And my biggest advice expecting twin moms is to just let things be. ⁓ And you ⁓ can't any ⁓ expectations about... Jessielee Sittig: Of course, absolutely. Steph: anything because things will just be especially if you're going from zero to two if you're going from zero to two it might seem super scary and stressful and if you've never had babies or even held a baby it might seem really scary but I promise you that the mother instincts will just kick in and you are meant to be a twin mom and there's so many women out there and moms that wish to have babies and multiple babies and you have been chosen so I hope that you hang in there and enjoy your pregnancy even if it's hard So that's my advice for expecting twin moms and for current twin moms if I had to have a heart to heart would be very similar is that we were chosen to have multiples and the strength that you have is incredible and you know that those babies would not be here if it wasn't for you. So I think we need to give ourselves more grace and truly give ourselves a hug because there's seasons just like Jess said, when your kids are sick, when they're going through a night terror or any other season, just know that every season is different and you don't always have to be strong. You don't always have to be positive, but just know that it will pass and you'll get through it. Jessielee Sittig: Mmm. Yeah, that's so true. It's so good! Steph: Yeah. Thank you, Jess. This was so fun. Jessielee Sittig: Yes, it was so fun. I've had so much fun chatting. And I feel like every time I'm like, we could talk so much more. So we'll have to do like an episode two follow up soon. Steph: I know that'd be so fun whenever you want me on the podcast Jessielee Sittig: ⁓ Awesome. Thank you. Okay,