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S2 E27 - Curb Your Poddy Part 1 · The Steve & Jeff Show

0:00
SPEAKER_01: Welcome to the Steve and Jeff Show, the number one comedy podcast at Steve's mom's house.
0:08
SPEAKER_01: That is be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
0:16
SPEAKER_01: Write us a review while you're there too.
0:18
SPEAKER_01: And now, here's Steve and Jeff.
0:23
SPEAKER_02: Thank you, Johnny and Jeff.
0:25
SPEAKER_02: Good to be back, isn't it?
0:27
SPEAKER_02: It is great to be back.
0:28
SPEAKER_00: How are you doing, Steve?
0:29
SPEAKER_00: How's it going?
0:30
SPEAKER_02: Oh, Jeff, what a week we had.
0:32
SPEAKER_02: Maybe our listeners don't know about this.
0:34
SPEAKER_02: We should probably elaborate a little bit on this amazing week that Jeff and I have had.
0:39
SPEAKER_02: You know, the podcast industry, just like the film industry and television, you know, they have they have awards, right?
0:45
SPEAKER_02: In the podcast industry, it's called the potty, right?
0:48
SPEAKER_02: We attended the potty awards.
0:50
SPEAKER_02: And this year, the potty awards were at the Omaha Red Roof Inn, which, you know, we're familiar with that.
0:57
SPEAKER_02: Has featured prominently in so many of our episodes.
1:00
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, the one by the highway, not that one in Council Bluffs near the landfill.
1:04
SPEAKER_02: No, no, don't go there.
1:05
SPEAKER_02: No, but I digress.
1:06
SPEAKER_02: It was just an amazing week, wasn't it, Jeff?
1:09
SPEAKER_00: You know, even though we weren't near the landfill, there were some smells there that I was kind of disgusting me.
1:16
SPEAKER_00: Uh, you know, when you do these podcasts, I guess uh good hygiene's not a requirement, right, Joe?
1:21
SPEAKER_02: That's exactly right.
1:22
SPEAKER_02: So much of this media is audio.
1:25
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's an audio media basically, so you can kind of look like anything, right?
1:30
SPEAKER_02: Well, yeah, but you can smell like anything.
1:32
SPEAKER_02: And because who's gonna smell you through the, you know.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
1:35
SPEAKER_00: But the other part is the ones that do have video need to clean up their act too.
1:40
SPEAKER_00: I mean, oh yeah, you know, the podcast is called Smartless, not Pantsless.
1:44
SPEAKER_00: I was embarrassed for all three of them, but oh yeah, absolutely.
1:47
SPEAKER_02: Uh you know, it really got crazy in there.
1:50
SPEAKER_02: There's a pressure, there's a little nervousness anyway, and then people start throwing back these wine coolers and the the hard seltzers.
1:56
SPEAKER_02: Of course, they serve dinner, but I'm glad that they had all those vending machines at the Red Roof Inn because you know, those sloppy joes, I I couldn't even finish mine, it was horrible.
2:05
SPEAKER_00: It's kind of like uh when you go to a wedding and you get your choices, and I was gonna choose the mac and cheese, but yeah, oh yeah, uh you know, I know you have mac and cheese a lot, and you have me over a lot, and I haven't.
2:16
SPEAKER_00: I thought the sloppy joes would be a nice touch, but yeah, they they were not great.
2:21
SPEAKER_00: I'm not exactly sure what was in sloppy joe.
2:24
SPEAKER_02: Man, they look good.
2:25
SPEAKER_02: The one good thing we did was we got drunk on the way over.
2:29
SPEAKER_02: Then we could have a little more control when we're in the room because we didn't need to get drunk, we were already drunk, and I think that's so important to know yourself that way.
2:36
SPEAKER_00: You're exactly right.
2:37
SPEAKER_00: And the highlight of the evening was that the Steve and Jeff show just dominated every comedy category.
2:43
SPEAKER_00: And this is one that surprised me, Steve, but we also got the best medical podcast show, which was a bonus.
2:51
SPEAKER_00: You know, I know that we spend a lot of time working on making sure people know what new medical techniques are out there, and you know, some are controversial or whatever, but it made a really big difference in that category.
3:03
SPEAKER_02: There was something so special about the suit yourself episode that was the winner of that potty.
3:08
SPEAKER_02: And it really has been a medical light, kind of like the light on the doctor's head, like in the Hitchcock movies where he's looking right into the camera, and the light on the head.
3:17
SPEAKER_02: That's kind of what that podcast episode was.
3:19
SPEAKER_02: It was a light on the head of a doctor to tell you that you can do your own surgery and showed you how to do it.
3:26
SPEAKER_00: Where are you gonna get that kind of information from a medical podcast?
3:30
SPEAKER_00: I don't think so.
3:31
SPEAKER_00: You know, the way although it's all about keeping the money, you know.
3:34
SPEAKER_02: You know those like the Academy Awards, like the Emmys, they create new categories now and then, right?
3:39
SPEAKER_02: And they had a new category, Best Limited Series by a limited host on that one.
3:44
SPEAKER_00: Curb Your Podcast was that the name of it, yes, um, and I think that was a two-parter, you know.
3:49
SPEAKER_00: To be honest with you, I know it had something to do with uh an author or a professor or something like that.
3:55
SPEAKER_00: I I'm not sure I really remember that much about it.
3:57
SPEAKER_02: We've done so many, and you know, funny you should say that, Jeff, because you know, I know the name of that episode, but I really don't remember any of it either.
4:04
SPEAKER_02: But you know, hey, it won the award.
4:06
SPEAKER_02: It must be something, right?
4:07
SPEAKER_02: Maybe we should give it a listen and give our listeners, let our listeners have a listen.
4:12
SPEAKER_02: It's a great idea.
4:13
SPEAKER_02: Johnny, play that award-winning podcast episode, curb your podcast.
4:18
SPEAKER_02: Most of those listeners were pretty much on track.
4:21
SPEAKER_00: I think so.
4:22
SPEAKER_00: Um, although I wasn't really listening to what you just said because I'm doodling something for our show, you know.
4:28
SPEAKER_02: Well, you haven't developed that skill, you know.
4:30
SPEAKER_02: I have not.
4:31
SPEAKER_02: I think that's what gives you the edge in these interviews, Jeff.
4:35
SPEAKER_02: I think the fact that you don't really pay attention is you don't care.
4:39
SPEAKER_02: And you and well, and and you don't care.
4:41
SPEAKER_02: I think that's a key factor.
4:43
SPEAKER_02: Both of those are key factors.
4:45
SPEAKER_00: Well, and I don't know which is first, you know.
4:46
SPEAKER_00: Do I not care first?
4:48
SPEAKER_00: And that leads me to not listening, or because I don't listen, I don't care.
4:53
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
4:54
SPEAKER_02: That is a real conundrum, which can also be used to prevent disease, but that's just a real conundrum.
4:59
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
5:00
SPEAKER_02: I would say it's probably because you don't care that comes first.
5:05
SPEAKER_02: That I don't listen.
5:06
SPEAKER_02: But maybe, maybe not.
5:08
SPEAKER_02: Maybe it's a non-listening that leads to the non-caring.
5:12
SPEAKER_02: It's it's somewhere in there for sure.
5:14
SPEAKER_02: Even way into the future, and you know, of course, I I am from the future.
5:17
SPEAKER_02: I do know that.
5:18
SPEAKER_02: Even way into the future, I don't think there's a good answer for that.
5:22
SPEAKER_02: Humankind has not developed to the point where they know the answer to that question yet.
5:27
SPEAKER_00: I think in the long run, I don't really care.
5:29
SPEAKER_02: So whether we get an answer or not.
5:32
SPEAKER_02: So you're throwing it out there, but to prove that you have this syndrome, you actually don't care about the answer.
5:37
SPEAKER_02: And if I told you, you wouldn't listen anyway, right?
5:40
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
5:40
SPEAKER_02: You are so right.
5:41
SPEAKER_02: So it works out.
5:42
SPEAKER_02: It works out perfectly.
5:42
SPEAKER_02: Well, Jeff, tonight we've got somebody that might be able to help us with some of the answers to these tricky questions, some of these big issues, some of the major issues, some of the key issues, some of the gargantuan issues, some of the Germanic issues.
5:56
SPEAKER_02: And I don't even know what that means, but some of the some of the bigger issues that people are dealing with out there.
6:03
SPEAKER_02: Let me tap the glass here, Jeff.
6:05
SPEAKER_02: Over on the other side of that glass, we have a very distinguished guest tonight.
6:10
SPEAKER_02: You're gonna have to try to listen to this guy.
6:12
SPEAKER_02: I'm gonna try.
6:13
SPEAKER_00: I'm gonna try.
6:13
SPEAKER_02: Really distinguished really concentrating now.
6:15
SPEAKER_02: He knows what he's talking about.
6:16
SPEAKER_02: There's a a Dr.
6:17
SPEAKER_02: Armand Lub Thrower, I think that's his real name.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
6:21
SPEAKER_00: Who would make that up, right?
6:23
SPEAKER_02: I mean, it's got to be his real name, right?
6:24
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
6:25
SPEAKER_02: Uh, he is a professor of histrionics at Cathartic State University.
6:29
SPEAKER_02: I know you're a big sports fan, Jeff.
6:31
SPEAKER_02: You follow the Cathartic Cryers, they've had kind of a sad career.
6:34
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, this guy sounds interesting.
6:36
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah.
6:37
SPEAKER_00: I think it's probably his real name.
6:38
SPEAKER_00: I don't think he took it from anyone.
6:40
SPEAKER_02: Why yeah, it's safe to say I if he took it, I hope he didn't pay a lot for it, but I digress.
6:45
SPEAKER_02: But to show you how distinguished this guy is, he holds the Charles Foster Kane chair in histrionics and sand volleyball at Cathartic State.
6:54
SPEAKER_02: Wow.
6:55
SPEAKER_02: And he wrote a book that hopefully he's going to provide so much enlightenment on this book.
7:00
SPEAKER_02: He wrote a book called What You Don't Know Can Hurt Me: Macro Obsession and the Unconscious.
7:06
SPEAKER_00: Interesting.
7:09
SPEAKER_02: Before we get started, we really should kind of lay some groundwork for some of the issues that we're going to be talking to this distinguished professor Lub Thrower about.
7:16
SPEAKER_02: Now I don't want him to just be able to slide off the hook, so to speak.
7:19
SPEAKER_02: You know what I mean?
7:20
SPEAKER_00: No, no, I don't at all.
7:21
SPEAKER_00: And now, when we say cathartic, what are we saying, Steve?
7:25
SPEAKER_00: Because that's a pretty big word.
7:26
SPEAKER_00: And you know, we have good listeners.
7:28
SPEAKER_00: I don't know if we have people who are really good with language.
7:31
SPEAKER_00: So how would you break cathartic down?
7:33
SPEAKER_02: Well, cathartic goes back to the cathars, which was which was a heresy from like early Christianity.
7:39
SPEAKER_02: And so I think this is a religious school, but it's a heretical religious school of the because I I broke it down differently, Steve.
7:46
SPEAKER_00: I I thought there were three words in that as I'm writing it.
7:49
SPEAKER_00: It's cat, right?
7:51
SPEAKER_00: Har and Dick.
7:52
SPEAKER_02: So it's veterinarians that are like a little obsessed with their cats, you know, with their with their patients, you know.
7:59
SPEAKER_02: Yeah.
7:59
SPEAKER_00: Well, hey, Steve, what's the what's the name of that group that dresses up like animals and furries or the fuzzies?
8:06
SPEAKER_02: Furries.
8:08
SPEAKER_00: So, in a way, this could have been the name of the team, the furries.
8:12
SPEAKER_00: The furries.
8:13
SPEAKER_00: If we you and I were involved, I think we would have renamed it the furries.
8:16
SPEAKER_00: Well, and it would have made sense.
8:18
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, just I I don't want to say this too loud, but look at the other side of the glass.
8:21
SPEAKER_02: I won't even tap it because I don't want to.
8:23
SPEAKER_02: He's he's like reading right now.
8:24
SPEAKER_02: I don't want to get his attention.
8:25
SPEAKER_02: But look, is he he's wearing a costume, isn't he?
8:29
SPEAKER_02: What is that?
8:29
SPEAKER_00: Is that a squirrel?
8:30
SPEAKER_02: It's the world's biggest squirrel I've ever seen.
8:33
SPEAKER_02: Man, I saw some huge ones in Toronto one time, but oh nine of them were like they weren't this big.
8:38
SPEAKER_02: Oh man, they were like this guy is poo.
8:41
SPEAKER_00: I have no idea why when you say that you've seen some large squirrels that I just automatically think sexual.
8:48
SPEAKER_02: Ah, it's that thread.
8:49
SPEAKER_02: Keep pulling that thread.
8:50
SPEAKER_00: I used to have I I remember my old friend in college used to say that you could take any word and make it sound dirty.
8:56
SPEAKER_00: Oh, yeah.
8:57
SPEAKER_00: Like if you're like if you're yeah, if you were talking about having sex with somebody, you'd say, like, you know, I'd like to storm her.
9:03
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
9:04
SPEAKER_02: Want to soak the soap?
9:05
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah.
9:06
SPEAKER_02: See, that's not dirty, right?
9:08
SPEAKER_00: It doesn't have to make any sense.
9:09
SPEAKER_00: No, that's plumb the thumb.
9:11
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you know, it anything could be taken there.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: I like that.
9:14
SPEAKER_00: Although, Steve, you know, I have a history of I think you probably know this, that I have gotten in trouble in the past for being inappropriate and talking inappropriately sexually.
9:24
SPEAKER_00: It's never been my fault.
9:25
SPEAKER_00: But oh no.
9:27
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, but I was wondering if this guy could help us since he is a hard cat thrower, whatever he is.
9:33
SPEAKER_00: But maybe he could help me because I think I need help.
9:36
SPEAKER_00: I I don't know he if he's the guy that's gonna help me, but I'm just so sophomoric.
9:41
SPEAKER_00: Everything looks funny to me, you know.
9:42
SPEAKER_00: Jeff, I I think this is the doctor that could help you.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: I mean, just like Dr.
9:46
SPEAKER_02: Reinerstein gave you the new nose, and you know, it's looking good.
9:49
SPEAKER_02: Jennifer Aniston there, you look just look just like her.
9:52
SPEAKER_02: Uh minus the hair, but you look just like her others.
9:55
SPEAKER_02: Oh, yeah.
9:55
SPEAKER_02: Just like he helped you with that nose.
9:57
SPEAKER_02: I think maybe Dr.
9:59
SPEAKER_02: Loopthrower can help you with that problem.
10:02
SPEAKER_02: But I think to do it, and going back to listening, I mean, really to provide good answers, you have to really ask good questions and listen, right?
10:11
SPEAKER_02: So I think I think maybe we need to lay out the issues before we even talk to Dr.
10:17
SPEAKER_02: Lou Thrower.
10:18
SPEAKER_00: Give me an example, Steve, of what you think the good doctor could help us with and what the issues might be.
10:24
SPEAKER_00: Like, what's the category?
10:26
SPEAKER_02: I didn't read the book, I gotta tell you.
10:28
SPEAKER_02: I did look at it.
10:29
SPEAKER_02: It doesn't have really interesting colors on the cover, it's got a lot of text and didn't even really read the whole title, but I you know, Tippi printed it off for me.
10:36
SPEAKER_02: So yeah, all right, I'll read it.
10:38
SPEAKER_02: But I I think what he does is he he helps people to understand themselves differently so that then they act differently.
10:47
SPEAKER_02: So I think it's a real key is just understanding some of the things that have happened and then taking those to the good doctor, the lube thrower, if you will, and seeing if we can slide some solutions into it.
11:01
SPEAKER_00: So now I get it.
11:02
SPEAKER_00: You you said he was the professor of histrionics.
11:05
SPEAKER_00: I thought it was hysterectomies.
11:07
SPEAKER_00: It's actually the root word of history, right?
11:10
SPEAKER_00: Right, exactly.
11:11
SPEAKER_00: Where you used to be, what you did in the past, and how you want to be better in the future.
11:16
SPEAKER_02: Right, exactly.
11:18
SPEAKER_02: It's kind of like history, except it's a more involved, a more emotional view of history.
11:23
SPEAKER_02: You know, histrionics, very, very important area.
11:26
SPEAKER_00: Well, and I have a lot of regrets, you know.
11:28
SPEAKER_00: I mean, just in general, I have a lot of regrets, Steve, not counting tonight.
11:32
SPEAKER_00: Don't regret tonight yet.
11:33
SPEAKER_02: There's always tomorrow.
11:34
SPEAKER_02: There's tomorrow.
11:35
SPEAKER_02: Regret it tomorrow.
11:35
SPEAKER_02: Don't worry.
11:36
SPEAKER_02: Now, maybe a good way to develop this discussion with the good doctor is to lay out some of those regrets.
11:43
SPEAKER_02: I mean, Jeff, I've got some regrets too.
11:45
SPEAKER_02: So maybe, maybe if you lay out a regret of yours, I'll that might spur a discussion of regrets and and something we can take to the doctor.
11:53
SPEAKER_00: So, like I'll show you mine if you show me yours.
11:56
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, kind of like that.
11:58
SPEAKER_02: And I'll show you my soap regret yourself.
12:01
SPEAKER_00: I'd like to get my hands on that regret.
12:04
SPEAKER_02: Soak the soap, yeah.
12:06
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, I'd like to soak that soap.
12:07
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, that's part of my regret, is that I I just can't control myself and I don't know what the reason is for that.
12:14
SPEAKER_00: And I have these random thoughts, you know.
12:16
SPEAKER_00: I'm Ubering.
12:17
SPEAKER_00: So while I'm Ubering, I'm like thinking, like, you know, how some people they're thinking, like, why is the earth round?
12:23
SPEAKER_00: And why does it the sun come up in the in the east and set in the west?
12:28
SPEAKER_00: But I think about stuff that I I just don't know if I could even discuss it with people because it's just oh Jeff, our listeners comfortable.
12:37
SPEAKER_02: You can discuss it with our listeners, they are the best, and they listen.
12:41
SPEAKER_02: And those who listen, Jeff, they will understand this is the best audience, and you've got the doctor right the other side of the glass here.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: All right.
12:48
SPEAKER_00: I let me just throw out something that I was thinking about today.
12:51
SPEAKER_00: I was driving around and I was thinking about sex, you know, but I was thinking, yeah, I was thinking about whether like self-examination, like you were you were talking about how you know, learning from the past, but you know, also learning from others, like being a good listener, like when somebody says to you, you have bad manners, then you know that you have bad manners, and then you can work on that, or you smell like bad hygiene.
13:18
SPEAKER_00: You know, I mean, I've I've had those things where I've listened and gotten substantially better, and you've grown and you grew from that experience.
13:26
SPEAKER_00: I have, and I think I've gotten better, but how do you really know whether the person that you're even talking to knows whether you're better or worse than your how do they know that you don't smell anymore or that you do smell?
13:39
SPEAKER_00: They might have faulty smelling totally, and they might be better smells.
13:44
SPEAKER_00: I know, and I bring that up, Steve, because more than once I've had comments about sex with some of the people I've partnered with as to whether I was a a uh I don't know how to put this, uh, a good lover, uh whether I can fling the jello, so to speak.
14:00
SPEAKER_00: Oh, that's a critical question because that jello is so important.
14:05
SPEAKER_00: You want to be good at that, whether I can plug in the outlet, you know, that that kind of those kind of questions.
14:10
SPEAKER_00: And sometimes I get positive and sometimes I get negative responses.
14:14
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
14:15
SPEAKER_02: I've wondered about that too, because I've always been told that I'm fantastic, but maybe there was an ulterior motive, not even ulterior, but maybe there was a different way of thinking.
14:25
SPEAKER_02: Maybe they didn't want to offend me.
14:27
SPEAKER_02: Maybe they were just saying, Oh, well, it's easier just to say, Yeah, yeah, you're fine rather than tell the actual truth, right?
14:34
SPEAKER_00: It's right.
14:35
SPEAKER_00: So basically, you're saying you don't want to ask, put somebody in a bad position because they don't want to talk about it and they love you or whatever, or they like you, so they say something nice to you, but you don't really know, right, whether it's true or not.
14:49
SPEAKER_00: So then maybe you choose some anonymous person to have sex with that doesn't know you, but then they may be mean to you on right, and besides that, how do they know what well you know who died and made them the sex therapists?
15:01
SPEAKER_00: Well, exactly.
15:02
SPEAKER_02: And if they're so good, how come they're anonymous?
15:04
SPEAKER_02: You know what I'm saying?
15:05
SPEAKER_02: That's exactly right.
15:07
SPEAKER_02: Come on, I mean, if you're that good, you should have a name out there, right?
15:11
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, to trust somebody to judge you on whether you can spin the dreidel.
15:16
SPEAKER_00: I don't see how you get that information, but I do want to know if I'm good at it.
15:21
SPEAKER_00: But the only solution I could come up with is to film it or invite people to watch.
15:26
SPEAKER_00: A lot of people don't want to do that.
15:28
SPEAKER_02: I know a lot of people really put a lot of emphasis on practice, like just practice getting better through practice.
15:34
SPEAKER_02: And I want to practice, too.
15:36
SPEAKER_02: And maybe you got to spin your own dreidel for a while, you know.
15:39
SPEAKER_02: Maybe you just do well, that's true.
15:41
SPEAKER_02: Pull yourself up by the dreidel, and just maybe you just gotta do it yourself, and maybe that's how you get better.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
15:47
SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
15:48
SPEAKER_00: I'm I'm acting like it's like I've just heard this for the first time, but I've been spinning my dreidel a lot.
15:53
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, well, I know I can get it to spin pretty fast, if you know what I mean.
15:58
SPEAKER_02: And I think you can well, you know, speed isn't everything, sometimes it's accuracy, right?
16:02
SPEAKER_02: Really?
16:03
SPEAKER_02: I mean, you kind of want to go with accuracy.
16:04
SPEAKER_00: Okay, yeah, I guess you don't want to put that dreidel in the wrong place.
16:07
SPEAKER_00: That is that what you mean by accuracy.
16:09
SPEAKER_02: What you definitely don't you don't want to soap that dreidel.
16:12
SPEAKER_02: Oh no, no, no, because then that thing will slide all over the place.
16:16
SPEAKER_02: No, you don't want to do that.
16:17
SPEAKER_02: No, you just have no control at all.
16:20
SPEAKER_00: So I feel better.
16:22
SPEAKER_00: That helps to I don't know, maybe we can talk about this more at another time.
16:26
SPEAKER_02: You know, though, Jeff, actually, as you're saying that, a story from my past just came to mind while you were talking about that.
16:33
SPEAKER_02: Not related really to this discussion, but just another thing from the past.
16:37
SPEAKER_02: Because I really wasn't listening either, but just a story from the past that I think explains a lot.
16:42
SPEAKER_00: Kind of a historical memory.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: A histrionic, yeah.
16:45
SPEAKER_02: It's a histrionic or yeah, oh yeah, right.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, it is.
16:48
SPEAKER_02: Okay, and and dying to hear.
16:51
SPEAKER_02: And well, this this goes back to when I was 12 or 13, too.
16:54
SPEAKER_02: I went to many a bar mitzvah when I was a kid, right?
16:57
SPEAKER_02: You did too, I'm sure, right?
16:58
SPEAKER_02: I went to many a bar mitzvah.
16:59
SPEAKER_02: And I don't know if you remember, I you may have been there.
17:01
SPEAKER_02: I don't know if you remember Eddie Solomon's bar mitzvah.
17:04
SPEAKER_02: No, they went all out, they had like full bars, they had uh they had like a band, man.
17:09
SPEAKER_02: It costs more than many weddings, I'm sure.
17:12
SPEAKER_02: Uh-huh.
17:13
SPEAKER_02: This thing was it was unbelievable.
17:14
SPEAKER_02: And they had this bar, and this bartender was not ageist at all, if you know what I mean.
17:20
SPEAKER_02: I mean, he he'd look at you.
17:22
SPEAKER_02: I I was 12, I was tall, but I didn't look 21.
17:26
SPEAKER_02: I mean, come on, no, of course.
17:27
SPEAKER_02: He didn't care.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: He didn't care.
17:28
SPEAKER_02: So, what do you want?
17:30
SPEAKER_02: And I got it.
17:31
SPEAKER_02: We we were getting drinks, we're getting drinks from the bartender.
17:34
SPEAKER_02: What does a 12-year-old Steve drink?
17:37
SPEAKER_02: See, I wasn't really sure what to drink, so I thought, well, my mom likes vodka, I'll try that.
17:42
SPEAKER_02: And so he said, What mixer do you want?
17:44
SPEAKER_02: You want vodka and what?
17:46
SPEAKER_02: And I thought, well, I don't really know a lot about mixers, but I like Coke.
17:50
SPEAKER_02: I'm a Coca-Cola guy.
17:51
SPEAKER_02: I really love Coca-Cola.
17:52
SPEAKER_02: And so I said, Well, I'll do a vodka and coke.
17:54
SPEAKER_02: And he squinted a little bit, but he made it.
17:56
SPEAKER_02: So I'm I got this vodka and coke, right?
17:59
SPEAKER_02: And I'm sipping it.
18:00
SPEAKER_02: And it tastes, you know, interesting.
18:01
SPEAKER_02: You should try that sometime.
18:02
SPEAKER_02: I haven't had one since, but yeah, you know, it's interesting.
18:05
SPEAKER_02: And I turn around, and who do I see?
18:07
SPEAKER_02: My mom.
18:08
SPEAKER_02: My mom is walking in, right?
18:10
SPEAKER_02: And I think, oh, here we go.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: I got busted.
18:12
SPEAKER_02: I'll be grounded like until I'm 90, until I'm her age, you know, whatever.
18:18
SPEAKER_02: But what she does, she looks at it, she takes a sip, and she says, You got vodka and coke in here, don't you?
18:24
SPEAKER_02: Well, I'll try the immature.
18:25
SPEAKER_02: You got vodka and coke in here, don't you, Stevie?
18:29
SPEAKER_02: And I said, Yeah, yeah, I do.
18:30
SPEAKER_02: She said, Don't ever drink vodka and coke.
18:32
SPEAKER_02: Listen, it's vodka and tonic, vodka and soda, vodka and orange juice.
18:37
SPEAKER_02: Nah, nah, forget the Coke, bourbon and coke, you know, Canadian whiskey and coke.
18:42
SPEAKER_02: Vodka, dah da.
18:43
SPEAKER_02: And then she walked away.
18:44
SPEAKER_02: And you know, I think Jeff, that meant so much to me as a juvie, which I really was.
18:49
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I was I was committing a juvenile offense in a very in a very mature way.
18:55
SPEAKER_02: And and it was that apart mitzvah, it's perfect.
18:57
SPEAKER_02: That's right.
18:58
SPEAKER_02: So so perfect all all around, in fact.
19:00
SPEAKER_02: And that would be juvie J-E-W.
19:04
SPEAKER_02: It'd be ju it'd be like jubering juvie, a juvie who later became a ju uh juber.
19:10
SPEAKER_00: That's right.
19:12
SPEAKER_00: Well, that's fascinating.
19:14
SPEAKER_00: It just came to mind though that maybe your mom should watch me have sex.
19:18
SPEAKER_00: I feel like your mom is somebody she would.
19:20
SPEAKER_02: She would.
19:21
SPEAKER_02: Well, oh yeah, but I should watch me.
19:22
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I should watch you, why not?
19:24
SPEAKER_00: You know, I'm a little short on cash this week, so I might have to wait until you know to ask her another time.
19:30
SPEAKER_00: But she's 90, she's pregnant, she's gonna have a baby.
19:34
SPEAKER_00: She's a woman who has a lot of experience, Steve.
19:36
SPEAKER_02: And and you know, you talk about money.
19:38
SPEAKER_02: I mean, she is on a limited income and she's got some unexpected expenses with this baby.
19:42
SPEAKER_02: Normally, she'd probably do it free, but she'll probably charge you for it.
19:46
SPEAKER_00: She's gonna do natural childbirth, right?
19:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh, wait.
19:49
SPEAKER_00: I thought she was somebody who didn't want to mix her drugs.
19:53
SPEAKER_00: She's because she was doing drugs already, so she doesn't want to address it.
19:57
SPEAKER_02: No, she's worried that the anesthetic will blur the effect of the drugs she's using, which I as far as I can tell.
20:03
SPEAKER_02: I mean, I'm not a doctor, but I think it will.
20:05
SPEAKER_02: So she's gonna keep doing her drugs.
20:07
SPEAKER_02: She's gonna go into one of those, you know, one of those tubs.
20:10
SPEAKER_02: And I mean, it could be interesting because she doesn't really swim that well, but I digress, but she's gonna go into one of those tubs and just do a natural childbirth in the in the tub, in the actual tub.
20:19
SPEAKER_00: And now is she going to uh breastfeed?
20:21
SPEAKER_00: We think so.
20:22
SPEAKER_02: You know, it's still kind of developing.
20:24
SPEAKER_00: Well, I don't think they're gonna develop much longer, Steve.
20:26
SPEAKER_02: She's trying to do it.
20:27
SPEAKER_02: I mean, there's development and there's development, you know.
20:30
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, you know, come on.
20:31
SPEAKER_02: I think she's about physical development, she's gonna get it's pretty well stopped.
20:35
SPEAKER_02: Yeah, I would say I would say, but she's she's thinking in terms of what she might do, and she's looking at looking at all kinds of different options.
20:42
SPEAKER_02: It's a very exciting time for her.
20:44
SPEAKER_02: Something that most 90-year-olds just don't have.
20:47
SPEAKER_00: And that reminds me of Barbara Eden.
20:49
SPEAKER_00: Oh, you remember we talked about, yeah, we talked about the guy I picked up.
20:53
SPEAKER_00: He he said that he had dated Barbara Eden.
20:56
SPEAKER_00: Yes, he makes right.
20:58
SPEAKER_02: We need to find him.
20:59
SPEAKER_02: You need to find him, man.
21:00
SPEAKER_02: I know find your V Ruber thing and see if we can get him on the show.
21:04
SPEAKER_00: I will try to track him down.
21:06
SPEAKER_00: I'll say that maybe like he owes me money or something, see if I I can dig him up.
21:10
SPEAKER_00: But one of the things he said that at the time struck me as strange was that he he said that Barbara Eden, even as she got older, has a great body.
21:20
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and it still really has a great shape.
21:22
SPEAKER_00: And so I looked her up, she's 94.
21:23
SPEAKER_00: And that kind of brings a different question, which is do you think that as people get older they find older people more attractive?
21:30
SPEAKER_00: Or as people get older, they find younger people more attractive.
21:33
SPEAKER_02: That is a great question, Jeff.
21:35
SPEAKER_02: And I, you know, I think that's something don't worry.
21:37
SPEAKER_02: We got lost.
21:38
SPEAKER_02: When we get to Dr.
21:39
SPEAKER_02: Lube Thrower, I think I think that's something we should ask him.
21:42
SPEAKER_02: You probably do find older people more attractive as you get older.
21:45
SPEAKER_02: Because you know, that's good, because we're more like you.
21:47
SPEAKER_00: We don't look it, but we're no, you know, quite a bit older than we were when we first met.
21:52
SPEAKER_02: I look better now.
21:53
SPEAKER_00: I think you look better, but I don't know if that's because I'm older, so you look better.
21:57
SPEAKER_02: I think I do look better.
21:58
SPEAKER_02: I've grown out of some.
22:00
SPEAKER_02: Of the the juvenile things that I used to do, JEW, yeah, exactly.
22:04
SPEAKER_02: Yes, there again, there again.
22:06
SPEAKER_02: Well, uh, it started at the bar mitzvah, so there you go.
22:09
SPEAKER_02: That's that's where it all started, right?
22:11
SPEAKER_02: That's that was the whole thing.
22:12
SPEAKER_02: Go Laddie Solomon.
22:13
SPEAKER_02: Oh man, we got so many more things to talk about, and we we do want to get to Dr.
22:17
SPEAKER_02: Lucy.
22:18
SPEAKER_00: Is our guest still there?
22:18
SPEAKER_00: Oh, he's still there.
22:19
SPEAKER_00: Oh yeah, oh, he's still he's reading.
22:21
SPEAKER_00: We'll get to him in a second.
22:22
SPEAKER_02: He said he was gonna work on some things, and that's you know, that's legit.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: That's fine.
22:25
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
22:26
SPEAKER_02: But Jeff, we've got a repeat sponsor.
22:30
SPEAKER_02: You remember those good people at Fa King?
22:33
SPEAKER_02: Is it Vietnamese food?
22:34
SPEAKER_02: I don't remember.
22:35
SPEAKER_02: Yes, was it Vietnamese soup?
22:37
SPEAKER_02: And we're coming back into hot weather now, Jeff.
22:40
SPEAKER_02: So it's time to get that hot Vietnamese soup.
22:42
SPEAKER_02: So they wanted to run some more ads because hey, who doesn't want hot Vietnamese soup on a hot day?
22:47
SPEAKER_02: Exactly.
22:47
SPEAKER_02: I do.
22:48
SPEAKER_02: I want I'd I'd like some right now, in fact.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: Me too.
22:51
SPEAKER_02: Totally.
22:52
SPEAKER_02: We'll go.
22:52
SPEAKER_02: So let's just go to commercial.
22:53
SPEAKER_02: Okay.
22:58
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23:06
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23:09
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23:52
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23:59
SPEAKER_00: Wow, that was great.
24:01
SPEAKER_00: You know what I really like, Steve, about that episode and and many of our episodes is we do a lot of the behind-the-scenes stuff.
24:08
SPEAKER_00: Instead of just showing and you know, playing an episode, they can get a little dry sometimes, but to see how how a podcast is baked is is great.
24:17
SPEAKER_00: And we did a good job of that with this uh episode.
24:20
SPEAKER_02: That is so true.
24:21
SPEAKER_02: I couldn't agree more.
24:22
SPEAKER_02: And I think the best part is how we took what could have been a really boring show.
24:26
SPEAKER_02: Armand Lubethrower, what he's gonna talk about, histrionics and sand volleyball.
24:31
SPEAKER_02: I mean, how should I put that doesn't sound exciting, but we took what could have been a really boring show and made it informative, exciting, and best of all, most important, funny.
24:41
SPEAKER_02: I bet if you asked Dr.
24:43
SPEAKER_02: Lub Thrower, if indeed that is his real name, uh he would tell you that he never sounded better or more interesting than he did on that podcast.
24:51
SPEAKER_02: Great job, Jeff.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: Well, thank you.
24:52
SPEAKER_00: And I look forward to part two because uh if it's anything close to what part one was, well, you know what?
24:59
SPEAKER_00: I I think there's no question that we're we're gonna win that award again for limited series next year.
25:05
SPEAKER_00: I I I think this is the one we should submit for consideration.
25:09
SPEAKER_02: And especially with that Fa King commercial in there, it's just so it's so perfect.
25:13
SPEAKER_02: I love that commercial, it really does it all.
25:15
SPEAKER_00: Yeah, and so I'm on the edge of my seat, and part of the reason for that is because you know, they just went crazy in the after party of the uh awards banquet, and some person, I'm not gonna say it was a former Saturday Night Live cast member, you know, the one that's on all the podcasts, decided it would be funny to loosen the the bolts on the lay on the legs of my chair, and then I fell and you know, now I'm sore.
25:38
SPEAKER_00: And he thought that was funny.
25:39
SPEAKER_00: You know, what I find funny is he's on so many shows and he didn't he didn't walk away with any awards, so you know, maybe focus on the podcast more.
25:47
SPEAKER_02: That was one of the high points of the evening for me, too.
25:49
SPEAKER_02: And I gotta tell you, Jeff, you know, I can't wait for next week when we hear the rest of this episode and we get to talk about all the other great things that are going on.
25:58
SPEAKER_02: So Jeff, that is so exciting.
26:00
SPEAKER_02: Johnny, listen, you know, you don't need to give us anything, take the rest of the night off, and we'll see everybody next week.
26:06
SPEAKER_02: Please be sure and follow or subscribe to the Steve and Jeff Show wherever you listen to podcasts.
26:11
SPEAKER_02: Write us a review, you know, be our friend.
26:13
SPEAKER_02: If you love the show, tell a friend.
26:15
SPEAKER_02: If you hate the show, tell two friends.
26:18
SPEAKER_02: We love negative attention.
26:19
SPEAKER_02: And I could use two friends.
26:21
SPEAKER_02: It's two more than I got.
26:22
unknown: That's for sure.
26:24
SPEAKER_02: All right, all right, good night, Jeff.