Latest / Looking Into / Episode 7: Pride, Labubus and AI

Transcript

Episode 7: Pride, Labubus and AI · Looking Into

• 0:12
  OK so here is my question, do you have songs that you
• 0:17
  recommend for a summer playlist? Because let me give you the
• 0:21
  context of the playlist. Every summer our core for our
• 0:26
  family ends up driving a lot of places.
• 0:30
  And so we make a summer road trip driving playlist every
• 0:34
  year. And we just started putting ours
• 0:35
  together and I need some variety because my children are pulling
• 0:41
  the same stuff out this year that they had last year and I
• 0:45
  just, I need to shake it up a little bit.
• 0:47
  So I need your recommendations on songs that you would put on a
• 0:51
  family appropriate summer driving playlist.
• 0:54
  What have you got? What have you got?
• 0:56
  Oh my goodness. Well, it's funny that you
• 1:00
  mentioned this because I was literally just laying in bed and
• 1:03
  I was thinking taking a nap and I was thinking how funny it is
• 1:07
  that my musical taste is odd for my industry and for my like,
• 1:17
  just what I do in life when I am not producing events and working
• 1:26
  in a nightclub and listening to like EDM, techno, etcetera, or
• 1:33
  like, you know, very faggy music I'm listening to like indie folk
• 1:40
  music. I'm.
• 1:41
  I'll take it. Yes, that.
• 1:43
  I want that, please. OK.
• 1:45
  What have you got? OK, so I've really been obsessed
• 1:48
  with lately and I was just OC and OC Elliot.
• 1:54
  Hold on, hold on. Oh my God.
• 1:56
  I'm looking it up right now. It's OC i.e.
• 2:03
  Elliot Elliott. Got it.
• 2:08
  I don't know anything about them except for it is a male voice
• 2:13
  and a female voice. And I'm obsessed with them right
• 2:16
  now. Like every song that comes on my
• 2:18
  plate, I just like to do. I find a song that I like, I
• 2:22
  listen to Spotify, find a song that I like and I say, take me
• 2:27
  to the radio, right? And then like from there we
• 2:31
  explore. And every often times I'll be
• 2:36
  like, Oh my God, this song is amazing.
• 2:37
  Who is it? And there it is.
• 2:40
  I'm gonna go ahead and just go with OC Elliot, OK?
• 2:43
  That's. Perfect.
• 2:44
  I'll look them up. That's actually how I discovered
• 2:46
  Hozier was listening to like Pandora on my Mumford and Sons
• 2:49
  radio station. And every time I clicked over
• 2:52
  like who is this? It was either ex Ambassadors or
• 2:55
  Hozier and I was like Oh my gosh this is incredible.
• 2:57
  OK. And that's that, yeah.
• 2:59
  Well, that's so those would. Be my big recommendation one
• 3:02
  more because it's saved. Hazlet OK.
• 3:06
  Have you heard of Hazlett? HAZLETT OK.
• 3:10
  Also really, really, really good.
• 3:12
  OK, epic. I will get that variety in there
• 3:15
  because we can only do and we love her, but we can only do so
• 3:19
  many summers of Taylor Swift in a row.
• 3:21
  OK? So yeah, we got it.
• 3:23
  We got to swap it out. Anyway, on that note, welcome to
• 3:27
  Looking into This is the podcast.
• 3:30
  We're two good friends, talk about pop culture, the things
• 3:33
  that interest us, and the spaces where all overlaps with lived
• 3:37
  human experience. So my name is Heidi and I'm one
• 3:39
  of your hosts. And I'm Caleb, and I'm another
• 3:43
  host. Yeah, that's right.
• 3:44
  There's only two of us, so that's great.
• 3:46
  There's just. But if you count all my
• 3:50
  different personalities, there's like four or five.
• 3:53
  Yeah, I mean, I feel like given the day and then the season,
• 3:56
  'cause we're still in Gemini season, right, baby?
• 3:59
  That means we're still bringing all the fire and all the spice.
• 4:03
  Yes. Honey, and we have already
• 4:04
  determined that this is a year for Sagittarius.
• 4:06
  So, like, I mean, you're welcome, everyone.
• 4:12
  Yeah, I'm fortunate. You ought to be here with us
• 4:14
  tonight. Yes, in our year, in our month.
• 4:18
  Oh my gosh, I Before we get into what we're looking into, I want
• 4:21
  to circle back to our last conversation because I had some
• 4:24
  feedback from one of our listeners, my beloved brother,
• 4:29
  who was like, oh, I have some thoughts for you about ancient
• 4:33
  civilizations. Is this Paul?
• 4:35
  Yeah, it's Paul. Hi, Paul.
• 4:38
  So Paul recommends strongly recommends this documentary
• 4:42
  series on Netflix called Ancient Apocalypse.
• 4:48
  Matthew loves this. Matthew watches it.
• 4:49
  He loves it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 4:51
  OK, because he was like the pyramids, our generators there
• 4:55
  was, you know, old civilizations in South America and.
• 4:59
  Amen. OK, so after hearing your
• 5:02
  dinosaurs, your dinosaur spiel, yeah.
• 5:05
  He was like, you guys have to watch this show.
• 5:07
  So I'm. Obsessed.
• 5:08
  Well, we better watch it. We.
• 5:09
  Better. I'm glad that Matthew's already
• 5:11
  seen it. It's on my list as well.
• 5:12
  So great. Let's go fierce.
• 5:15
  Yeah. OK, aside from that, what are
• 5:17
  you looking into right now, my love?
• 5:20
  OK, so it is June, which means it's pride season, which means
• 5:27
  Caleb's busy. I've stayed busy all year, but
• 5:31
  this is the time where like the rubber really meets the road and
• 5:35
  all that work I've been doing all year has to bear fruit.
• 5:39
  OK, if you will. And so.
• 5:42
  And as someone who is undiagnosed ADHD brained, but I
• 5:48
  mean, listeners, you can hear me on this podcast.
• 5:51
  Yeah. You know I.
• 5:51
  Mean. Fucking crazy The.
• 5:53
  Diagnostic markers are all there like we don't need an official
• 5:57
  diagnosis, baby. I'll just tell you, you are the
• 5:59
  DSM right now. It's.
• 6:01
  Fine, thank you, we're good. You so much.
• 6:03
  I don't know what a DSM is but it sounds really hot.
• 6:05
  Oh, it's the. It's the the book of.
• 6:08
  It's the. It's the diagnostic manual for
• 6:11
  all diagnosable conditions, so. Fierce.
• 6:14
  Yeah, I love it. I'll bring it some time.
• 6:17
  I'll read you your markers anyway.
• 6:19
  OK, cool. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 6:20
  I love it. And pride.
• 6:22
  Yes, it's so important anyway. Yeah, so I have this habit.
• 6:28
  I wouldn't call it a bad habit. It depends on who you're asking.
• 6:33
  I know pride is, you know, every year in well, Seattle pride is
• 6:38
  in June. The June is officially pride
• 6:40
  month, but Portland Pride happens in July and I book the
• 6:46
  entertainment for Portland Pride.
• 6:47
  Me and my team book the entertainment for Portland
• 6:49
  pride. Shout out to my team and they
• 6:57
  essentially I could do a lot of work in the months leading up to
• 7:03
  June, and I do work in the months leading up to June.
• 7:08
  But two weeks ago I sat down at my computer with an empty
• 7:14
  schedule for for two days of festival entertainment. 2 stages
• 7:22
  over 2 days and about 100 or so spots for artists to entertain.
• 7:30
  Oh my gosh. And I sat down and over the last
• 7:33
  week that schedule has gone from empty to completely full offers
• 7:39
  out, booked, confirmed and on to contract, which I do not process
• 7:45
  the contracts, my team handles the contracts.
• 7:48
  So once I have put my Pretty Little booking emails out and
• 7:52
  demanded a response within 72 hours, I say thank you so much,
• 7:59
  here's the promo photos and they will have delivered the promo
• 8:04
  photos to me and my team picks it up.
• 8:06
  The absolute All Star, fabulous individual humans that they are,
• 8:13
  and they proceed to make all of the magic happen so we get to
• 8:19
  stage correctly. And so that's what I've been
• 8:23
  working on is getting everyone in the last two weeks, months of
• 8:29
  work. Oh OK so I need I have a
• 8:32
  clarifying question because I do not know the production world
• 8:36
  that you live in. Is that a normal timeline or is
• 8:41
  that related to the ADHD mindset that if you wait till the last
• 8:45
  minute it only takes a minute? I think it might be that.
• 8:51
  Where you do all your work in a very short amount of time.
• 8:54
  OK, and I stress about it. I wouldn't say I've learned not
• 8:57
  to stress. This is I think maybe my magical
• 9:00
  power as I've gotten older and wiser is I have learned and my I
• 9:06
  team probably it drives them crazy, but I tend to be right.
• 9:11
  It's all going to work out. We're going to make it work.
• 9:14
  And so like the over the last couple weeks, a lot of fires
• 9:19
  have been popping up and I'll just, I used to stress and like
• 9:24
  kind of spiral out and be like, Oh my God, everything's falling
• 9:27
  apart. And now I just kind of step back
• 9:30
  and I look around and I'm like, you know, everything's going to
• 9:34
  be fine. So I'm going to close the door
• 9:36
  this for now and we're just going to open it in a week and
• 9:40
  see if everything's better. And this year that has really
• 9:44
  worked. And I'm, I'm happy to say that
• 9:48
  like the stage that we had booked for our block party up
• 9:52
  here, that ended up being too big because the apartment
• 9:55
  complex was like, we're not going to let you close down the
• 9:57
  street. And yes, we didn't tell you for
• 10:00
  months that we weren't going to do it.
• 10:02
  So we waited until two weeks before your event and now you
• 10:04
  have to completely reroute your event map and everything.
• 10:11
  It just so happened that a smaller stage opened up, which
• 10:15
  now we have the correct size stage that we needed.
• 10:17
  So all those little production things that happened that could
• 10:20
  be event killers, I've just learned that it's probably not
• 10:26
  going to kill the event. We're gonna move forward,
• 10:29
  everything's gonna be fine. And so I think what I, I said
• 10:35
  all of that to say, I used to stress out about the fact that I
• 10:39
  didn't have the schedule done and the stages booked and all of
• 10:42
  that. And I'm like, I know that one of
• 10:45
  these nights the Spirit will come to me and.
• 10:50
  You'll just do it all. And at 8:00 PM on a Tuesday on
• 10:56
  June 10th, I will. Boom.
• 11:00
  That's hundreds of emails. Yes, let's go, let's go.
• 11:04
  And I'm assuming there's lots of work that happens before that
• 11:07
  that just kind of simmers. Yeah, it kind of simmers.
• 11:10
  So there's a process of like, you know, we want to make sure
• 11:13
  that the community has access to apply to be a part of.
• 11:17
  And that is part of why I like to wait is I want to give people
• 11:20
  a chance to all submit their applications.
• 11:24
  And we have a Google Form that's out there and it's, you know,
• 11:28
  it's just really important that it's not just me going out and
• 11:31
  choosing my friends to perform on the stages.
• 11:33
  Yeah. So I'd like to let the, the
• 11:35
  greater community and even the national community to have an
• 11:39
  opportunity if they want to be seen on the pride stages,
• 11:43
  Seattle and Portland. And it's, it's probably like
• 11:46
  this in every city that they have an opportunity to submit in
• 11:52
  the Google form and, and say that they're interested and then
• 11:55
  I have time to review. So typically what happens is we
• 11:58
  wait until June to review May we wait until about a month out to
• 12:03
  review. And then I go through and I'm
• 12:06
  like, OK, I have to send the offer and each person needs to
• 12:11
  respond within a certain amount of time.
• 12:13
  And then they might have questions and there's budget
• 12:16
  stuff, you know, we only have a certain amount of money to go
• 12:19
  out to the whole community. And I need to keep an eye on all
• 12:21
  of that. And we have to make sure that
• 12:23
  they have the ability to be promoted correctly and that Drag
• 12:28
  Queen A isn't performing at the same time as Drag Queen B, who
• 12:34
  happens to hate Drag Queen A and, you know, I have to be
• 12:38
  aware of those kind of social dynamics.
• 12:41
  Yeah. And no, I mean, I literally had
• 12:44
  to do that the other day. I had to rearrange a schedule
• 12:47
  because I was like, oh, these two hate each other, so we're
• 12:49
  not going to put them backstage at the same time because there
• 12:53
  could be drama, so. And not not the one that we
• 12:56
  planned for, not the drama that the one we.
• 12:58
  Planned for now. I love drama, I do love drama
• 13:01
  and I will sometimes put people in situations where they will
• 13:05
  just. To see, you know.
• 13:07
  I'm AI, am a Gemini after all and.
• 13:09
  Survivor is not airing right now, so we have to create our
• 13:12
  own entertainment. Oh my gosh, Hello, entertain me.
• 13:15
  Let me ask, is there a theme or not a theme?
• 13:19
  But do you see trends every year as far as what type of
• 13:24
  performances come forward? Are there some years that are
• 13:27
  more like centric or where music features more heavily and others
• 13:30
  where it's like more like, I don't, I don't know, like how
• 13:33
  does how does that work? What does that look like?
• 13:36
  Yeah, for sure. And I think it comes less in
• 13:40
  year to year, but in maybe like three to five year chunks,
• 13:46
  right. Like there was a three to five
• 13:48
  year chunk where drag was like at the absolute.
• 13:50
  Like if your headliners weren't Ru Paul's Drag Race drag Queens,
• 13:54
  then no one cared. Sure.
• 13:57
  Right now, I think we're more in the realm of people want to see
• 14:01
  DJs, they want to go out, they want to see DJs, they want to
• 14:03
  dance, they want to just like kind of let go or musical acts,
• 14:10
  you know, they, it's a little bit more of like going and
• 14:12
  seeing a show. People still want to see drag.
• 14:14
  I'm not saying drag is not going to be highly featured, so don't
• 14:17
  come for me, but I think drag has gone at least drag Queens
• 14:25
  have gone so mainstream and it's so accessible.
• 14:29
  You can see drag anywhere and everywhere.
• 14:32
  You've got brunches, you've got drag shows everywhere, you've
• 14:34
  got RuPaul's Drag Race. So it's not as desired these
• 14:40
  lately as maybe it was three years an.
• 14:44
  Exclusive like hot commodity that you're gonna walk to a
• 14:48
  pride event for. Yeah.
• 14:50
  OK, OK. I've definitely focused in on
• 14:54
  when I, whenever I say I have, I'm talking about the whole
• 14:57
  team. It's I certainly do not do this
• 14:59
  work alone, but I've really honed in on drag kings and the
• 15:07
  last couple years. Last year we booked Land Insider
• 15:12
  who was really cool and the really cool thing about Portland
• 15:18
  Pride, the organization Pride Northwest, shout out to Pride
• 15:21
  Northwest. Follow Pride Northwest if you
• 15:24
  don't already and you're in Portland.
• 15:27
  They're a great organization that does a lot for the queer
• 15:29
  community. They like to do more than just
• 15:36
  book, you know, pay thousands of dollars for like a famous
• 15:40
  performer to get on a stage. They like to activate in a way
• 15:45
  that gets the performers engaging with the community.
• 15:49
  So they they create opportunities for these like
• 15:54
  headliners to come into town and meet with a small group of
• 15:57
  artists and give like a workshop where they teach.
• 16:01
  Like, you know. Drag King getting a group, but
• 16:04
  we did 5. We did this last year, we're
• 16:06
  doing it again this year where they came in and they basically
• 16:11
  put a show together and then the headlining drag king comes in
• 16:16
  the week of the show and gives everyone like, pointers on their
• 16:20
  performances. That's so cool.
• 16:23
  Yeah, it gets to know him. It's really, really cool.
• 16:25
  It's a lot of fun. We did that also this year.
• 16:28
  Our SO our headliner for the Drag Kings is Tenderoni, who was
• 16:32
  a judge on the King of Drag show.
• 16:34
  I don't know what network it's on, sorry, but super, super
• 16:39
  cool. Really fun drag king and
• 16:43
  performer. And then Luscious Massacre is
• 16:47
  our queen who's coming and she's working with a group called
• 16:55
  Noche. I should know this off the top
• 16:59
  of my head, but I'm forgetting. I'm going to pull it up real
• 17:02
  quick. It is.
• 17:08
  Drag queen or drag king of drag? Yeah, King of Drag was king of.
• 17:14
  Drag is and that's streaming on Pluto TV, Fandango at home,
• 17:19
  Philo and Plex, yeah. There it is.
• 17:22
  Yep. And then Luscious Massacre is
• 17:24
  coming in for the cast of Noche Caliente, led by Charisma and
• 17:31
  they are putting on like a Latin drag show.
• 17:33
  Which? Is super awesome.
• 17:35
  Oh, I love that. Yeah.
• 17:37
  OK, so it's super exciting. That's been my Portland pride
• 17:40
  stuff that is happening next month, about a month from now, I
• 17:45
  will be in Portland in one month running around.
• 17:49
  Yep, this. Is going to be fun.
• 17:52
  Well, thank you for sharing all that I'm excited.
• 17:53
  I'm excited to hear about all the different stages.
• 17:55
  I is it possible for you to do Portland and Seattle pride
• 18:01
  because they're staggered like that?
• 18:02
  Like would it be impossible to do if they were both in June?
• 18:06
  Nothing's impossible, but this is definitely easier.
• 18:09
  Yeah. OK.
• 18:09
  That's so. Interesting.
• 18:10
  I think it would be impossible for me to be in person in those
• 18:14
  two places cuz I am in person running I my role is flipped in
• 18:21
  Seattle. I am like the assistant to the
• 18:24
  person running the show. Her name's Kendall.
• 18:26
  She's amazing listener of the pod and so in yeah, shout out to
• 18:32
  Kendall. She runs the show and has for
• 18:37
  like 20 years in Seattle, and so she's taught me so much.
• 18:40
  Kendall's a badass hit and we love her.
• 18:43
  She is, she really is. She really is that girl, that
• 18:47
  woman. And in Portland, I got the
• 18:51
  opportunity to be brought on to Portland Pride and she was
• 18:55
  definitely the first person I called.
• 18:56
  I was like, I got to, I got to work with Kendall.
• 18:58
  So she helps me in Portland and it's just a beautiful,
• 19:01
  symbiotic, amazing relationship. Kendall and Caleb for the win.
• 19:05
  I love that. Period.
• 19:07
  It's pretty fun, yes. OK, well make sure I will make
• 19:12
  sure to follow Pride Northwest or Northwest Pride because I
• 19:15
  don't already. Pride Northwest.
• 19:17
  Pride. Northwest on all platforms.
• 19:22
  Well, fabulous. I love the Northwest man we are.
• 19:26
  It is very cool. Yeah, OK.
• 19:33
  Anything else you want to add on the stuff that you're looking
• 19:35
  into? Yeah, that's not I I didn't
• 19:39
  really look into anything except for getting my work done this
• 19:42
  this week, and I'm happy about that.
• 19:46
  Well, I'm glad of you way to get it done.
• 19:48
  Thank you. Thank you.
• 19:50
  How about you? What are you looking into?
• 19:53
  Well, it's also, I mean similarly self focused because
• 19:58
  as we know, we just finished the school year.
• 20:03
  And it was my last school year. And so really I would say I've
• 20:09
  been in survival mode. We've talked a lot.
• 20:13
  I've talked at length through this season that we have been
• 20:16
  publishing. Our podcast has been a season of
• 20:18
  grief and a lot of transition for me.
• 20:21
  And so when I was thinking about how I would characterize like
• 20:27
  what has caught my attention this last week, it's really been
• 20:32
  just kind of my experience of closing this chapter and how
• 20:35
  I've been alone but not lonely in it.
• 20:40
  And I'm so, so grateful for that cause we've talked at length.
• 20:43
  It's a huge, I think, shared passion for both of us about
• 20:46
  community and connection and how do we show up for one another.
• 20:50
  And this has just been so interesting because what I'm
• 20:53
  experiencing and saying goodbye to not only a workplace that
• 20:57
  I've enjoyed being at for 10 years, but it's a, it's a
• 21:00
  community I've been invested in for 10 years.
• 21:03
  And bigger than that, it's also like kind of been my lifelong
• 21:09
  dream. Like, like I when I was a kid,
• 21:12
  and this is a recent revelation for me.
• 21:13
  When I was a kid, I really believed that there was
• 21:16
  something important for me to do.
• 21:18
  Like I felt like really purpose driven, like there's something
• 21:21
  out there that's meant for me that I'm supposed to do.
• 21:24
  And when I was in college, it clicked, Oh, it's, it's school
• 21:28
  counseling. That's what I'm supposed to do.
• 21:31
  I had I had a professor once who defined vocation as the
• 21:35
  intersection where one of your great passions meets one of the
• 21:39
  world's great needs. And so for me, I've always
• 21:42
  defined that as this work. And so just recently, this week,
• 21:46
  I recognized like, I'm not just saying goodbye to this job that
• 21:48
  I love and this community that I love and that I've been a part
• 21:50
  of and these friendships I've formed over the last decade and
• 21:53
  these kids I'm invested in. But also like I'm pivoting on a
• 21:57
  trajectory that I've been on my entire life.
• 22:00
  And, and it, that's, that's big, it's significant.
• 22:05
  It's been a lot of emotions and there's really no one who can
• 22:09
  walk it with me, you know, like, these are my goodbyes.
• 22:13
  These are my dreams, It's my, my choices, my sense of peace, my
• 22:19
  friendships. And so it's been a very solo
• 22:24
  journey, but I was just really struck this last week by how
• 22:30
  present the people in my life who love me have been and how
• 22:35
  powerful it is to just bear witness to somebody else's spot.
• 22:39
  And to just say, I see you. Like, you know, when people are
• 22:42
  in stuff, like we often want, we want to help, not always, but
• 22:47
  often the human instinct is we want to actively support the
• 22:50
  people that we care about. And you know, but then when,
• 22:55
  when people are walking through valleys or they're walking
• 22:57
  through their own journeys, it's not, that's not a walk I can
• 23:00
  take for you. That's not a walk that you can
• 23:01
  take for me. I'm the only one who can walk
• 23:04
  it. But man, people have shown up
• 23:07
  for me and even in the simplest ways of being able, like we
• 23:11
  mentioned, my brother, my brothers and my sister have both
• 23:14
  been really intentional in reaching out and just being
• 23:16
  like, hey, thinking of you or how are you sister?
• 23:19
  And just knowing they see me makes me feel so cared for and
• 23:24
  carried in the season even as I'm walking it alone.
• 23:29
  And so I guess my, my reason for sharing that is, I guess I
• 23:35
  wanted to encourage, if anybody's out there listening
• 23:38
  and feels like there's people in their life who are suffering and
• 23:40
  they feel helpless, like they don't know how to support that,
• 23:43
  it's, it doesn't take a lot like the simplest, smallest things
• 23:47
  can be like you don't have to carry anybody and all of their
• 23:50
  stuff, but just being able to say, I'm holding space for you
• 23:53
  today has been like, has that been profound in the ways that
• 23:58
  it's impacted me? And, and I have been so, so
• 24:01
  richly, richly, like this is an area of my life where I am rich
• 24:06
  and like, like luxuriate in good people that surround me.
• 24:12
  I have incredible people who are so generous with their time and
• 24:16
  their selves and their heart that I have not been alone in
• 24:22
  any of this. Yeah.
• 24:25
  So like, my friend Liz showed up and just helped me clean out my
• 24:29
  office. My friend Melinda showed up at
• 24:34
  my house on Saturday morning with a box of Donuts and just,
• 24:36
  like, crawled into my bed and, like, hugged me and was like,
• 24:39
  how are you? Which was, like, so far above
• 24:41
  and beyond. Not everybody drops like
• 24:43
  minutes, but like. Listen up friends, you can buy
• 24:48
  it a box of Donuts and you could show up at my house.
• 24:51
  Anytime, yeah, but I will say and like Brandon, who's like
• 24:56
  really the one who's in it with me the most, I cannot tell you
• 24:59
  about. To Brandon.
• 25:00
  Oh my gosh, I cannot tell you enough how much he has been so
• 25:04
  present. But like, I mean, I'm exhausted
• 25:06
  like most educators at the end of the year.
• 25:09
  I mean, you guys could probably hear it in my voice.
• 25:11
  Get sick. We always get sick as soon as
• 25:13
  you cross the finish line. It's like our body just go and
• 25:16
  it takes a while for our nervous systems to switch out a fight or
• 25:19
  flight. And so like it's we're all
• 25:22
  zombies. If you see zombies, like it's
• 25:24
  probably teachers and educators and like I have, I have been in
• 25:30
  a state of such like cognitive and emotional and like nervous
• 25:34
  system level deficit that like having a brief conversation with
• 25:38
  someone is enough to physically exhaust me where I have to sit
• 25:40
  down. I'm like, I can't actually
• 25:42
  actively listen right now. It takes too much out of me.
• 25:44
  And so Brandon, for example, yesterday I was like, hey, I he
• 25:49
  left to go take the kid somewhere and probably like
• 25:54
  church without me because. King Yeah, I.
• 25:57
  Wasn't going to make that happen.
• 25:59
  That's way too much effort in output.
• 26:02
  And I was like, I think I'm going to go into my office and
• 26:04
  finish packing everything up and he's like, that's awesome.
• 26:07
  Also, if you're sitting in this exact spot when I get back and
• 26:10
  you've just moved on to another book, that's going to be awesome
• 26:13
  too. Incredible.
• 26:14
  I know, and I just like Tim. He has never, like, I'm sitting
• 26:20
  over here condemning myself for being lazy and like, why can't
• 26:24
  you just like, suck it up and keep moving forward?
• 26:26
  And he has just created space for me to be like, no, you're
• 26:28
  just in it and it's OK. Mina, who listens to our podcast
• 26:32
  through a quote that I'd shared weeks ago back at me about grief
• 26:36
  sometimes being an attention horror where it's all about her.
• 26:39
  So she listened to that episode. She threw that one back to me
• 26:42
  this last week. And so I'm just like, show up
• 26:44
  for the people in your life in small ways.
• 26:47
  And yeah, so I just, I, I'm super, super grateful.
• 26:51
  And there's so many more than you know, I'm mentioning right
• 26:54
  here, but. We only have so much time on the
• 26:57
  pod. And there's a lot of.
• 26:59
  Shout out to everybody. Yeah, shout out to everybody.
• 27:01
  In Heidi's world, yeah. Alone, but not lonely in it so.
• 27:06
  I love that. That's beautiful.
• 27:07
  That is really beautiful. It is.
• 27:09
  It's been, it's been a gift. I'm super grateful.
• 27:13
  Yeah. So yeah, that's what has been
• 27:15
  going on with me. Do you feel like cuz you were
• 27:19
  talking about like a life being a school counselor, being like a
• 27:24
  live stream. Are you having a feeling as you,
• 27:28
  as you pivot of like completion or do you feel like you?
• 27:37
  Or is it the other way where you're feeling like grief that
• 27:40
  you didn't complete your dream? I'm just curious.
• 27:43
  Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, I say yes to all of
• 27:46
  that. I think there's a natural, like
• 27:50
  not natural, but there's a cultivated martyr mindset in
• 27:53
  education where as soon as I realized I was leaving, I had to
• 27:57
  work through my own internalized sense of like betrayal.
• 27:59
  Like I'm betraying, I'm leaving education when she needs me the
• 28:02
  most and work through all of that.
• 28:04
  I never planned to leave education.
• 28:07
  Like I thought I would retire from here.
• 28:08
  And so there was a lot of defeat, quitter, betrayer, like
• 28:13
  stuff that I had to work through.
• 28:16
  I think at this point, there's two things that stand out.
• 28:20
  And one is I feel really good about what I delivered with the
• 28:24
  time that was trusted to me. Like I feel like I showed up for
• 28:29
  the 10 years that I had in this role.
• 28:31
  And I feel good about how I occupied that space for the time
• 28:36
  that it was trusted to me. And then also the fact that it
• 28:40
  was much harder to say goodbye to my staff than it was to say
• 28:45
  bye to the students was a huge indicator to me that it was time
• 28:48
  for me to step out. Because like, I think like a
• 28:52
  couple years ago that would have been a very different
• 28:54
  experience. But the fact that I was like,
• 28:56
  no, they'll be OK, was like, OK, well, they probably need to be
• 29:01
  in somebody else's hands. That's fine at this point, you
• 29:04
  know, like, I'm like, good luck, y'all.
• 29:07
  So but. They will be OK, you're right.
• 29:11
  Yeah. Yeah, they will be OK and I
• 29:14
  think that's great. I asked because I was having a
• 29:16
  conversation with a friend yesterday who is completely
• 29:19
  different industry, but there's there.
• 29:21
  I think that any industry you look in, there can be
• 29:24
  similarities of that level of just like you go so hard.
• 29:31
  Maybe not any industry, I'll speak for mine.
• 29:36
  You could go so hard and be so dedicated and, and to like
• 29:40
  achieving. And my friend is in Vegas and,
• 29:45
  and was talking about their friend in LA and they're
• 29:48
  thinking about like moving home, they're leaving Vegas and
• 29:51
  they've done their thing and it was their dream to be a Vegas
• 29:53
  showgirl. And they, they are and they're,
• 29:58
  they're performing, but they're just not feeling it anymore.
• 30:02
  And so they were like, if I go home, I'm gonna, people are
• 30:06
  gonna look at me and be like, I couldn't make it.
• 30:09
  I couldn't make it in Vegas. I couldn't make it in LA, like,
• 30:12
  whatever The thing is. And I and I was just sitting and
• 30:15
  having the conversation with them.
• 30:16
  And I was like, yeah, but you did make it.
• 30:18
  Yeah, you did. You did that thing.
• 30:20
  You achieved the goal. You spent the time that you were
• 30:23
  meant to spend in the role that you were in.
• 30:28
  And I don't know that we're called to just do the same shit
• 30:33
  forever. Like you.
• 30:35
  You cook the meal, present the plate, eat the meal, and then
• 30:41
  you move on. You make a new meal.
• 30:42
  So, you know, like you can't just sit there looking at the
• 30:47
  empty plate after you eat the food, like.
• 30:50
  Well, and so there's yeah, there's so much in even just we
• 30:54
  in the language that we're talking about of like defeat and
• 30:57
  making it that or even in in your question, which I'm not
• 31:00
  faulting the question because it's a legit question about like
• 31:03
  have you met the goal? And I think there's, there, I,
• 31:09
  I, I'm much more inclined to look at it as a season because
• 31:15
  seasons change. And, you know, it was almost
• 31:20
  like there's an invitation to think of this as like leaving
• 31:24
  the path that I've been on. When really I feel like it's
• 31:28
  much more of like a pivot or a turn where like, I'm still
• 31:31
  moving. I'm still I'm, you know, I'm,
• 31:33
  I'm doing the same work of investing in humans, but it's
• 31:37
  gonna look different. I, I don't know that I would
• 31:41
  have ever left if I hadn't felt physically forced to do so with
• 31:45
  like the way that my health started tanking in response to
• 31:50
  the amount of stress that I was processing and metabolizing on a
• 31:52
  regular basis. And so I even look at, I look at
• 31:57
  purpose and that, that it was like I would have never pivoted
• 32:00
  on my own. So I really do trust that like
• 32:02
  this is the right move for me right now.
• 32:04
  And so regardless of how I feel, I, I do trust that sense of
• 32:08
  peace that this is what I'm, that I, this was the season I
• 32:11
  was supposed to be in. And I am experiencing a change
• 32:15
  of the seasons. And it's just there's, you know,
• 32:18
  leaves fall in the change of the season.
• 32:20
  There's just a lot of debris. So there's my way.
• 32:22
  I just feel like there's a lot of debris right now, but well.
• 32:27
  Yeah, I think it's a great show of wisdom.
• 32:31
  I, I think it's really powerful to, to take, to step back and
• 32:37
  take a look at your life and, and what is serving and where
• 32:40
  your, your talents and your skills are best placed and to
• 32:46
  know like, OK, cool, I've done what I needed to do here.
• 32:49
  I feel really proud of the work that I've done.
• 32:51
  And now it's time to take everything I've learned in this
• 32:54
  and move and move to a new group of people who are going to need
• 32:58
  me. So.
• 32:59
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 33:00
  I am. I thank you and I am really
• 33:02
  thank you things I've never done anything like this.
• 33:06
  Like I do feel proud and I also feel really curious about what
• 33:10
  this next season is going to be like.
• 33:12
  And it's intimidating because I have to run my own business and
• 33:15
  that's that's the whole thing. But like, you know what, I'm
• 33:17
  just I'm not even there yet at this point.
• 33:20
  I'm like still clearly actively recovering from from closing the
• 33:25
  well you. Just started a podcast so.
• 33:26
  I did. It's big time.
• 33:29
  Why not just throw it in there and load?
• 33:32
  Everything. Gosh, look at us go totally.
• 33:36
  Yeah, On that note, look at us go, this is our broadcast.
• 33:41
  It's our podcast. Please this is our podcast and
• 33:43
  and people are listening. More so than before.
• 33:48
  Oh my gosh, Caleb, our listener count is going up.
• 33:52
  Like party on for the new people that are showing up here.
• 33:59
  Welcome to the table kids. We love to have you.
• 34:02
  You can follow us at looking into podcast because we're not
• 34:07
  dweebs and we don't say pod Looking into podcast.
• 34:12
  Soon there will be a YouTube. It's not up yet.
• 34:15
  And we'll be active. We have there is an Instagram
• 34:18
  account, but it's not activeyetitwillbebutyoucanemailus@gmail.com
• 34:22
  and yeah, yeah. It's blank, but you should still
• 34:26
  follow us it. Is blank.
• 34:28
  It won't be for long, but it is right now.
• 34:33
  But that also brings me up to another thought.
• 34:34
  And that is most of the people who are coming to listen to us
• 34:39
  are people who know one of us, but not both of us.
• 34:42
  And so I don't know how you feel about this, but I feel like it
• 34:45
  might be beneficial to do some introductions and maybe kind of
• 34:51
  like, I don't know, do a little segment where we get to know
• 34:54
  your host kind of ongoing as we go on moving forward.
• 34:58
  You on board with that? I'm so on board with it.
• 35:01
  Yeah, well, I'd love to talk about me and I'd love to hear
• 35:04
  about you so. Great.
• 35:06
  Should we should we reciprocate? Cuz I have a list of questions
• 35:09
  I've categorized them. Obviously we have serious
• 35:14
  questions, surface questions and like more wild or random
• 35:20
  questions. OK, yes, so do you, can I, do
• 35:24
  you want a category or can I just start?
• 35:27
  I want you to lead this and I want you to be able to answer
• 35:33
  because I won't be coming up with questions ahead of time, so
• 35:37
  no. We're categorizing.
• 35:38
  This and we already. Segment all right yes great
• 35:43
  well, I'm glad that I've correctly formatted my notes app
• 35:46
  then to have check boxes so after I've asked the question I
• 35:48
  can check it off and I can keep brainstorming Oh my gosh I love
• 35:51
  a good list that's. My girl.
• 35:54
  OK, we're going to start with semi serious.
• 35:56
  I am wondering if you could give me a brief rundown of 1 aspect
• 36:02
  of your life. Like either your work history,
• 36:05
  like your, your faith history, because somehow that's come up a
• 36:08
  lot in our conversations. Or yeah, if you could just pick
• 36:14
  like 1 aspect of your life and give us kind of a rundown of
• 36:17
  your journey till now and then I'll do the same.
• 36:20
  Yeah, well, let's go with the low hanging fruit.
• 36:25
  I am a homosexual and proudly so.
• 36:30
  I am a gay advocate for advocate for queer people.
• 36:37
  I have always been gay from the very moment that I was.
• 36:42
  I was probably gay pre birth, you know, to be honest would.
• 36:46
  You say you chose it in the womb.
• 36:49
  I would say I chose to be gay for sure in the womb.
• 36:56
  Yeah, OK, absolutely. But it was a choice and it is to
• 36:59
  this day a choice. Anyway.
• 37:02
  I came out when I was, I think I was like 11 when I came to my
• 37:06
  mom. And I was like mom and I was
• 37:09
  like very anxious about it telling her.
• 37:13
  But it was like obvious and came out when I was 11.
• 37:18
  I have always known that I was going to be a star.
• 37:23
  And I have. And that's I think a very
• 37:26
  homosexual thing to know. And I would say I've really,
• 37:35
  I've dedicated my life to queer art and queer artists and queer
• 37:42
  people. And I'm really part of the way
• 37:47
  that I do that is I go into spaces that aren't necessarily
• 37:53
  gay and I become the big gay man in the room and I make them
• 38:00
  gayer. And that's what I love to do.
• 38:04
  I love that. That's you, OK.
• 38:06
  I can talk more about other things about me in the future,
• 38:09
  no? That's great.
• 38:11
  That didn't answer either of the questions that I just asked, but
• 38:14
  I'll go ahead and make a new Give me a brief rundown of your
• 38:22
  identity and life trajectory is how I'm gonna call that.
• 38:29
  And then I'm gonna. There you go.
• 38:30
  OK, enable sorting. I can enable that's.
• 38:34
  How this is gonna work, you guys?
• 38:35
  Yeah. She's gonna ask me questions and
• 38:38
  I'm gonna talk about whatever. He wants and then I'll meet you
• 38:42
  in that space. OK, so let me mirror you said
• 38:45
  that you cuz one of the things that we are endlessly fascinated
• 38:49
  about with the two of us in our friendship is how different we
• 38:53
  are. Yes.
• 38:54
  So I'm just gonna meet you on this space.
• 38:57
  So I am so straight, actually the gayest I've ever been.
• 39:03
  I'm so glad you talked about Drag kings earlier is because
• 39:06
  there was this contestant on the Great British Bake Off named
• 39:09
  Jessica, spelled it with a K and I saw her and I was like, that's
• 39:13
  my wife. I'm supposed to marry her.
• 39:16
  This is like last year and I've been married for like 16 years
• 39:19
  to a man. But she is a drag king and her
• 39:21
  drag king name is all of her clothes off and she's real hot.
• 39:24
  And so I do love Jessica. But other than that, I just,
• 39:27
  yeah, I'm, I've been a straight little straighty straight sis,
• 39:30
  white female, all the privilege. I don't know that I would say
• 39:35
  I'm an advocate or that I have been an advocate my entire life.
• 39:39
  I would say I absolutely am now. But I think that wasn't a huge
• 39:44
  part of my identity growing up because I wasn't really aware of
• 39:48
  privilege until undergrad, and then maybe even more so in grad
• 39:52
  school. So I've been an advocate ever
• 39:54
  since then. But I think I was like blindly
• 39:56
  privileged for a lot of my life. So in the same way that your
• 40:01
  queerness is defined a lot of the ways that you've moved
• 40:03
  through the world, am I allowed to say that those were not your
• 40:06
  words? Is that OK that?
• 40:08
  I think that's what I said, yeah.
• 40:11
  If. I didn't say it.
• 40:11
  I meant it, yeah. OK.
• 40:14
  For me, I would say kind of the driving forces when I was
• 40:19
  younger and moving forward were on faith and achievement and
• 40:25
  education. And so that's kind of what drove
• 40:29
  me moving forward was those sort sort of values.
• 40:33
  I would say. I don't.
• 40:35
  You said you've always known that you were a *.
• 40:39
  I have always known there was something for me to do, like
• 40:44
  some some unique purpose that I needed to fill.
• 40:49
  So I've always felt very intentional about needing to
• 40:52
  show up. And I would say that the way
• 40:54
  that has unfolded in my life has been an emphasis on people and
• 40:58
  investing in people through like coaching or, excuse me,
• 41:05
  residence life or student ministry or working in youth
• 41:08
  group. And then professionally, that's
• 41:11
  always been kind of where my energy and not talents, but like
• 41:17
  natural wiring leads me is to invest in helping other people
• 41:23
  find who they are, find their strengths and find their like
• 41:26
  passion and success and resilience moving forward.
• 41:30
  Yeah. That's great makes.
• 41:33
  Sense so we are similar in a lot of those ways, even though OK, a
• 41:38
  surface question because I'm a shift.
• 41:40
  What's your favorite snack food? Favorite snack food is probably
• 41:52
  well, what comes to mind right away is crackers.
• 41:55
  I love crackers, like crackers because you can.
• 41:59
  Chips are just too gluttonous. I will eat a bag of Doritos.
• 42:02
  It's it's inappropriate and I don't want to live like that
• 42:05
  anymore. I don't want to be like that.
• 42:07
  OK, OK. So what kind of crackers I'm?
• 42:09
  Not going to speak about it. Crackers for me, it's the well,
• 42:15
  Cheez its, but those kind of land in the chips category a
• 42:18
  little bit. But I do love a Cheez it.
• 42:20
  Yeah, but you know, like a cracker with some cheese that it
• 42:24
  takes a little bit of time to take the cheese and put it on
• 42:28
  the cracker, you know? Yeah, it's indulgent.
• 42:31
  Do you? Like that.
• 42:32
  I do love it. You know what?
• 42:34
  That's what it is. I like AI like a a plate, a
• 42:38
  plate of what is it called? A charcuterie board.
• 42:40
  Yeah, you do. That's I love that Opie.
• 42:43
  Yeah, with a dip, it's gotta have a dip.
• 42:45
  OK, perfect Cheese and crackers is absolutely my favorite snack
• 42:50
  food. So And we can party together,
• 42:52
  baby, we're good. We got there, yeah.
• 42:55
  I will say at one point when I was in grad school and I was
• 42:58
  interning with this, I was shadowing a middle middle school
• 43:02
  counselor and she was pregnant. And her weird food that she
• 43:04
  would eat was she would take a string cheese and she'd shred it
• 43:06
  up on top of Triscuits. And that has been my go to ever
• 43:12
  since. So for like the last like 20
• 43:14
  years that is. My favorite snack is string
• 43:16
  cheese on Triscuits. How do you like string it and
• 43:21
  then lay it on the? I do That's fun.
• 43:23
  I think that's fierce. It's ridiculous.
• 43:25
  I've been told how creative. No, I've been told off for this
• 43:29
  habit by many a gay man in my life who have told me that I can
• 43:33
  do better. Yeah, it's it's always your
• 43:35
  people, Caleb, who tell me that. My crackers.
• 43:39
  And Jesus, those aren't my people.
• 43:42
  I didn't ever say that. I I approve of homosexuality
• 43:46
  ever once. Well, I'm just saying your kind
• 43:52
  have been very judgy. Cheese and crackers happens.
• 43:57
  Well, you can't trust men. Ever.
• 43:59
  You can't. Trust men, gay, straight or
• 44:01
  otherwise, They can't be trusted.
• 44:03
  So judgy with their cheese snobbery.
• 44:06
  But anyway thank you for allowing me my cheese and
• 44:08
  crackers. Do you have opinions on
• 44:09
  Triscuits? I got in a big fight with a very
• 44:12
  trusted colleague of mine because he's die hard anti plain
• 44:16
  Triscuits, like the original Triscuits.
• 44:18
  And I was like, those are the best ones.
• 44:20
  And he was like, no, they have to have a flavor.
• 44:22
  And I was like, are you a serial killer?
• 44:24
  They don't. And he's like you're chewing
• 44:26
  cardboard, what's wrong with you?
• 44:27
  And I was like, you can't mess with the flavor of what are you
• 44:30
  doing. So do you have opinions on
• 44:31
  Triscuits? Because there's a right answer.
• 44:35
  I would say my truth is that I don't real.
• 44:40
  I don't have strong die hard opinions about food in terms of
• 44:48
  what I'm willing to eat. I'm pretty much I'll eat of most
• 44:52
  things. So like the idea of like like
• 44:56
  being anti plain triscuits is not really it for me.
• 45:01
  But when you ask that question, I would say plain is at the
• 45:04
  bottom of my list. Yeah, I would say crack.
• 45:08
  Well, you dancer is is gonna be my is my flavor of choice.
• 45:13
  But I will eat the plain Triscuit.
• 45:14
  It's not like I'm not gonna eat it.
• 45:16
  I'm just probably not gonna choose that one if cracked
• 45:20
  pepper is an option. OK, I really appreciate and
• 45:23
  respect the way that you danced around that.
• 45:24
  It was very well done and you are not getting cancelled over
• 45:28
  crackers today. I can tell you that much like
• 45:30
  that was so artfully woven. Your response was brilliant.
• 45:34
  OK, here's my last. My last question for you in this
• 45:37
  know your host segment is if if you had a warning label, what
• 45:43
  would it say? Don't fuck with me.
• 45:45
  Oh, no hesitation on that at. All no, don't fuck with me.
• 45:49
  Don't do it. Don't do it.
• 45:52
  Oh. My gosh.
• 45:53
  Do not do it. That's and it would just say it
• 45:55
  over and over again. Yeah, OK.
• 45:57
  No fine print. No, we can put that in.
• 45:59
  No, it's so. Simple, yeah.
• 46:01
  Yeah, OK. Don't fuck with me.
• 46:03
  Don't fuck. With me.
• 46:05
  I can be really, really nice and kind.
• 46:10
  I can also ruin your life. Yeah, that's all.
• 46:12
  So just don't fuck around or you'll find out, yeah?
• 46:15
  Yeah, bury that. OK, great.
• 46:18
  Yeah, how about you? Well.
• 46:20
  I mine has more parts to it than that.
• 46:22
  OK, let's hear not everyone needs a 16.4 letter, yeah?
• 46:28
  Bold writing label. OK, I do feel like it's
• 46:31
  important for people to note that if they're going to be in
• 46:33
  my life, they are going to be provided many growth
• 46:35
  opportunities. Oh, I love that because you know
• 46:39
  what, there's something about me that brings out aspects of your
• 46:42
  personality that you may or may not have met before.
• 46:44
  And so that's just always really, you know what if you're
• 46:48
  going to heavy side and roll your eyes and respond to me
• 46:50
  showing up truthfully with my full authentic charm.
• 46:54
  You're welcome. What a great growth opportunity
• 46:56
  I just provided for you. So I would say you can just plan
• 47:01
  on learning and growing if you're going to know me.
• 47:05
  Yeah. I would also like my warning
• 47:07
  label to state that none of this is fake because I've been
• 47:10
  accused a lot throughout my life of like, oh, I don't trust her.
• 47:15
  She's just, she smiles too much or just, I don't know, people
• 47:19
  that just those. Are unwell people?
• 47:21
  Yeah, that's OK. Yeah, and and I I can't fake
• 47:24
  like I don't actually have it in me.
• 47:26
  And so I would just want people to know that like, what you is
• 47:29
  what you get. Yeah.
• 47:32
  Oh, my gosh. I yelled at a coworker this
• 47:34
  week. Oh, I remembered I was supposed
• 47:36
  to tell you this story. OK, so we're just going to give
• 47:41
  an example, Exhibit A of growth opportunities and what you see
• 47:44
  is what you get. OK, so I was having a morning
• 47:48
  where we were running around and lots of things were happening.
• 47:50
  We were trying to coordinate a school wide event and it was
• 47:52
  just kind of bonkers. And I hadn't eaten breakfast,
• 47:55
  which is never we we never want hangry Heidi.
• 47:58
  She's not a good hang. OK, so I saw somebody walk
• 48:01
  through the office eating a piece of a crumble cookie and I
• 48:04
  was like, there's cookies somewhere.
• 48:05
  So I went I found them and I like no, no, the the cookies not
• 48:09
  the problem. It's just the OK.
• 48:11
  But I was like, do you ever get so like angry and like task
• 48:15
  focus? I was like rage zoning out where
• 48:17
  I was just like blanking out looking at the wall and just
• 48:19
  like consuming this crumble cookie like a paper shredder.
• 48:22
  I was like, just like, OK. And this Co worker of mine who
• 48:27
  provides me with lots of growth opportunities walked in.
• 48:33
  Do they listen to the podcast? No, saw my, saw my non verbals
• 48:38
  and thought I'm going to engage Heidi in a conversation right
• 48:40
  now and they said, Heidi, how are you doing with all of this
• 48:47
  and everything? Well, that's.
• 48:50
  A lot to which I responded, We do not have time for that right
• 48:52
  now. And, and I didn't say it in a
• 48:56
  kind way. I like bit my words off, you
• 48:58
  know, because again, I was raged consuming a cookie and getting
• 49:02
  ready to go back and continue the chaos.
• 49:04
  And this Co worker thought, I think I'm going to lean in and
• 49:08
  make a fun joke. And so their response to that
• 49:10
  was, well, I'm I don't have time for that right now.
• 49:13
  Well, you do have time to eat a cookie.
• 49:21
  To which I responded with all the professionalism and Polish
• 49:25
  in my body. I am not fit for human
• 49:27
  interaction right now. You need to go away and I my.
• 49:31
  God. Miss poor sweet human who was
• 49:34
  just trying to engage me in a conversation, checking into my
• 49:37
  health and well-being and could not read my non verbals.
• 49:40
  Had to just kind of awkwardly back away slowly and walk away
• 49:44
  because because yeah, I was not fit for human interaction and I
• 49:48
  wanted to make sure that they knew because if they.
• 49:50
  You didn't lie. No.
• 49:52
  And if they'd stuck around and continued to ask me about the
• 49:54
  fucking cookie, I probably would have throat punched him or
• 49:56
  something. It would have been real bad.
• 49:58
  So, you know, sometimes you just got to let people know.
• 50:00
  Uh oh. Uh oh.
• 50:02
  She's. We are weak.
• 50:04
  Back away. This is not happening.
• 50:05
  So yeah. Back it up.
• 50:07
  Yeah. But yeah, I would say a general
• 50:09
  PSA to everybody out there. If somebody is like rage eating
• 50:13
  any food and they snap your face off when you ask them an intro
• 50:17
  question, that is not a cue to lean in and make a joke about
• 50:23
  their food or anything else. Especially about the food.
• 50:26
  Yeah, some people don't pick up social cues.
• 50:30
  And God bless them. Those people are not people for
• 50:32
  me. Now, it doesn't mean they're not
• 50:34
  great people. They're probably great people.
• 50:36
  They probably bring a lot to the tapestry of the human experience
• 50:41
  and that is it, this podcast, something that we care very much
• 50:46
  about. Now, do we want, do I want to
• 50:49
  engage with those people when I'm annoyed?
• 50:51
  No, no, that wouldn't be a good idea.
• 50:53
  No. I'm good at it, but I don't
• 50:54
  want. To, well, this was very much a
• 50:56
  it's not you, it's me situation. But like, you know, I have found
• 51:00
  that there have been multiple times in my life where I've had
• 51:02
  to like, send somebody else fleeing the room or I have had
• 51:07
  to flee the room. Yeah, like shouted warnings like
• 51:10
  this is the best option for all of us as I run away.
• 51:16
  I love it. Hey, just.
• 51:17
  Ask my in laws because they've gotten that from me several
• 51:20
  times. I love it.
• 51:21
  I love it. Good.
• 51:24
  Yeah, that's, that's that. So that's my warning label.
• 51:27
  Provides growth opportunities. Also listen when she says
• 51:31
  things. Or whatever will offer many
• 51:33
  growth opportunities. I love that, and I love an
• 51:36
  opportunity to grow. I have always found myself to be
• 51:41
  very drawn to people who are interested in engaging in good
• 51:46
  faith growth and reciprocal growth.
• 51:50
  Like I'm not interested in someone who's just trying to
• 51:53
  correct me all the time or prove to me that I'm that I'm a piece
• 51:56
  of shit or I'm worse than them or whatever kind of game people
• 52:00
  play. I'm not interested in that.
• 52:01
  But I am interested in someone who is working is interest who
• 52:06
  is also interested in like the mutual edification of of two
• 52:13
  people engaging in a relationship.
• 52:15
  I think that's very fierce. Yes, well, and I will say credit
• 52:20
  to this Co worker who just happened to step on the landmine
• 52:22
  that was my emotions on that day.
• 52:24
  They have been on the receiving end of multiple growth
• 52:26
  opportunities from working with me and have consistently shown
• 52:30
  up with very generous repair. And like I truly do not fault
• 52:36
  them for the situation because they are much better human than
• 52:39
  I will ever hope to be. But yeah, they really stepped in
• 52:43
  it that day. Don't don't fuck with me and
• 52:45
  cookies, especially when I'm already ready to kill.
• 52:47
  So let's not don't do that. OK.
• 52:48
  Yeah. Yeah.
• 52:50
  Well, we say at this podcast, it's not about the rupture.
• 52:53
  It's about the repair. That's what Barbara says.
• 52:55
  All right. Hey, Are you ready to spin the
• 52:58
  wheel? Oh my God, I'm so ready to spin
• 53:00
  the. Wheel.
• 53:01
  Oh, my gosh. We need to cue the new music.
• 53:05
  Brandon, you promise? Give us a Spin the WHEEL audio.
• 53:07
  I'm gonna mark it down right now. 52 minutes in.
• 53:09
  Beer. Beer.
• 53:10
  That's not it's not a reggae horn, but it'll be fine.
• 53:12
  Spin the wheel. OK, Spin the wheel.
• 53:18
  If you are new to us and you haven't gotten all caught up,
• 53:21
  this is the segment where we keep a shared notes app.
• 53:25
  We contribute topics throughout the week.
• 53:27
  I put them on a wheel, we spin it, and then whatever comes up,
• 53:30
  whoever submitted that topic has a minute to talk about it.
• 53:33
  And we roughly keep to that. But we do what we want, yeah.
• 53:37
  Yeah. OK.
• 53:40
  I'm so excited, Oh my gosh. First topic is Heart Stopper
• 53:47
  717. This is my topic.
• 53:48
  I just need you to know because you have not watched Heart
• 53:52
  Stopper, you are not familiar with the show.
• 53:56
  It's like the loveliest green flag show of all time and based
• 54:01
  on a web comic and they've done multiple seasons on Netflix and
• 54:04
  they are finishing up the Heart Stopper run with a movie that
• 54:08
  premieres on July 17th. So I just need you to.
• 54:13
  I just needed to share that 'cause they just dropped the
• 54:14
  trailer. So the Heart Stopper Forever
• 54:16
  film is coming to Netflix on 7/17 and it is one of like the
• 54:22
  most important pieces of my pop culture heart.
• 54:24
  I would say. So Nick and Charlie forever.
• 54:26
  OK, yeah, yeah, yeah, OK. My talking fierce.
• 54:36
  Oh shit, Caleb, it's a listener question.
• 54:38
  Yes, a listener. Question the gods have smiled
• 54:43
  upon. Us.
• 54:44
  They have smiled on all of us. I love it.
• 54:46
  Do we have a listener question to dig into tonight?
• 54:51
  As a matter of fact, we have 3. Oh my gosh, I cannot.
• 54:54
  I cannot with that. I'm so excited, so exciting.
• 55:01
  And don't forget, you can e-mail your questions to looking into
• 55:05
  podcasts@gmail.com. We wanna hear from you, the
• 55:09
  e-mail. Address is in the show notes,
• 55:11
  yeah. Yeah, it's in there.
• 55:14
  Heidi. I just need you to pick a
• 55:16
  number. 22 or. 32. 2 all. Right here.
• 55:23
  OK, here we go. OK, here looking into My
• 55:28
  boyfriend and I were comparing our ChatGPT histories and I was
• 55:32
  shocked to discover that he's been running nearly every
• 55:35
  important text message through ChatGPT before sending it to me.
• 55:40
  Not just work emails or awkward messages.
• 55:42
  Everything. Birthday cards, compliments,
• 55:45
  apologies, relationship check insurance, the long text he sent
• 55:48
  after our first major fight, even parts of the message where
• 55:51
  he first told me he loved me. He genuinely seemed confused why
• 55:56
  I was upset. He said the feelings were his.
• 55:59
  He just struggles to organize his thoughts and likes to have
• 56:03
  help putting them into words. Part of me thinks that's
• 56:07
  reasonable. Another part of me feels like
• 56:10
  I've discovered I'm dating a robot.
• 56:12
  My question is this. If someone means every word they
• 56:15
  say, but an AI wrote most of the sentences, who exactly have you
• 56:19
  been talking to sincerely in a relationship with two entities?
• 56:30
  Wow, what do you think? I think so many things.
• 56:41
  I love authentic communication. I'm always, I'm always going to
• 56:48
  prefer the mess. Give me the unpolished, raw,
• 56:52
  real thought that we can sort through together.
• 56:57
  But I also am not offended by somebody running certain prompts
• 57:02
  through AI for help like because it does take work to figure out
• 57:09
  how to say things. And if like I got a message from
• 57:13
  one of my kids coaches once on like an issue that was like
• 57:16
  sensitive and it was clearly an AI written message, but it meant
• 57:20
  so much to me that they took the time to consult with chat or AI
• 57:26
  around. I want to communicate with this
• 57:29
  parent and I want to be able to emphasize these certain things
• 57:31
  and I want to be able to communicate it in this certain
• 57:34
  way. Like I could see the intention
• 57:35
  in the heart behind the communication.
• 57:37
  And that was what was meaningful to me.
• 57:41
  I would have, I have a real issue with boyfriend running
• 57:44
  everything through AI. The response after a big fight.
• 57:50
  I get that because that is messy and you do want to organize your
• 57:53
  thoughts and there's going to be some really intentional like,
• 57:57
  well, there could be some intentional prompting cause in
• 58:01
  AI you have to feed the prompt. But if you're just like, give me
• 58:03
  a response to, I think the prompts matter in this
• 58:07
  situation. If you're looking at somebody's
• 58:09
  ChatGPT history, I think the prompts matter.
• 58:10
  If it's give me a response to my partner after a fight, that's
• 58:14
  very different than help me communicate that I was wrong,
• 58:19
  you know, like, right. Yeah, that's what matters to me
• 58:22
  is how the prompts are laid out. I'm going to say huge alarm
• 58:30
  bells and this is just a message to all of all of our listeners.
• 58:34
  Anyone who is listening, there is something called AI sick of,
• 58:45
  and I can't remember, basically, AI is not a valuable partner in
• 58:52
  your relationships and it's actually really dangerous.
• 58:56
  And we have a no, I'm not a professional, but I'm just going
• 59:01
  to tell you my thoughts. We as humans, we love to be told
• 59:08
  we're right. We love to get that affirmation
• 59:12
  to be told we're right, and if there's one thing that AI seeks
• 59:16
  to do more than anything is to tell us that we're right.
• 59:21
  That is not helpful for your relationship.
• 59:23
  So when you're going to AI, if you're going to AI to ask it to
• 59:29
  help you better put to paper the words that you're wanting to
• 59:35
  express. And you've already written out
• 59:36
  all of your thoughts and you, you put them all down and you're
• 59:39
  like, help me make this make sense.
• 59:42
  Sure, that makes sense. And then you need to read it and
• 59:45
  critically look through everything that's being that has
• 59:49
  been put back to you and make sure that it really is how you
• 59:52
  feel and and what you're thinking and that you can press
• 59:56
  against it and that you know that it makes sense.
• 1:00:02
  But AI, I call it AI psychopathy, I don't think
• 1:00:07
  that's really what it is. There's, there's a real term for
• 1:00:09
  it and there's a real diagnosis of like a, a syndrome or
• 1:00:13
  whatever it's called that people are dealing with right now where
• 1:00:17
  people become addicted to their AI and they develop these
• 1:00:20
  relationships with their AI because it's just telling them
• 1:00:23
  that they're right all the time. And they just absolutely lose
• 1:00:26
  themselves. And it's really scary to see the
• 1:00:29
  light like leave someone's eyes to where they've just they've
• 1:00:33
  like plugged into the matrix and it's, it's really disturbing.
• 1:00:38
  So I would say if you have a desire to run things through an
• 1:00:45
  AI chat bot for to help reform your sentences, okay.
• 1:00:50
  But know that it's a really slippery slope and if you are
• 1:00:54
  looking for help in a relationship, help finding who's
• 1:00:58
  right and who's not that that not that it's actually ever that
• 1:01:01
  simple, but if you're looking for help finding who's right or
• 1:01:04
  wrong or anything like that, go to a professional human
• 1:01:09
  therapist, seek a pastor, seek, seek anything but AI.
• 1:01:15
  Go talk to your bodega clerk about your relationship before
• 1:01:20
  you talk to AI because it is not going to help you.
• 1:01:23
  It is going to lead you down a very dark path that will do harm
• 1:01:29
  to you and the people that you love.
• 1:01:32
  So big red flag there. OK, but it wasn't the the AI
• 1:01:37
  consultant who wrote in the question came from what do I do
• 1:01:40
  with this discovery? Yeah, I would say let's have a
• 1:01:44
  conversation about it because clearly there's a desire for
• 1:01:48
  trust and openness in your relationship.
• 1:01:50
  The fact that you're like, it sounds like that was not a shame
• 1:01:53
  or like a discovery. Sure conversation.
• 1:01:56
  It was like, Oh yeah, let's look at our chat histories and that
• 1:01:58
  your partner was surprised by your reaction.
• 1:02:03
  We're always gonna say trust your instincts, like you're
• 1:02:05
  reacting that way for a reason. And if you're like, oh, this
• 1:02:08
  doesn't settle with me. This isn't comfortable for me.
• 1:02:10
  Then that's time to lean into the discomfort with your partner
• 1:02:13
  and figure out how the two of you, not the two plus AI, but
• 1:02:17
  the two of you are going to establish communication norms
• 1:02:21
  moving forward. Because it sounds like this was
• 1:02:23
  maybe just their norm for communicating.
• 1:02:25
  And it if that's not something that's OK with you, then you
• 1:02:28
  need to address it with them and you guys can establish a
• 1:02:30
  different understanding of how to move forward and, and how
• 1:02:33
  you're going to communicate with one another.
• 1:02:35
  Yeah. And I think it's OK to to have
• 1:02:39
  that moment. It sounds like you guys have a
• 1:02:41
  really open relationship where you share things, which is
• 1:02:44
  great. So I think it's probably OK for
• 1:02:47
  you to share that discomfort. And a lot of people are really
• 1:02:50
  uncomfortable with AI. So you're not alone, that's for
• 1:02:53
  sure. You know, talk about it, talk
• 1:02:58
  about it with your human partner.
• 1:03:00
  And yeah, as Heidi said, exclude the AI partner from the
• 1:03:04
  conversation. You know, and I will say, like
• 1:03:09
  our abilities to communicate with humans are so critical and,
• 1:03:15
  and just dying. Like, I can't even tell you how
• 1:03:20
  frequently family conversations, partnership conversations take
• 1:03:25
  place over text. And, and like I've had people
• 1:03:29
  who need to fight with our partner and so they'll have to
• 1:03:31
  sit next to each other and type it through their phones because
• 1:03:33
  they can't actually communicate face to face.
• 1:03:34
  I've. Experienced that before.
• 1:03:36
  Myself, it's really important that we can have face to face
• 1:03:39
  conversations that's still like, that is where the humanity
• 1:03:43
  happens, y'all? There is power in pushing
• 1:03:49
  through uncomfortable moments, you know, and I think that just
• 1:03:55
  to like what you're saying those those personal in like 1 on one
• 1:04:00
  conversations, like with just with human beings in
• 1:04:03
  relationship, like romantic relationships, work
• 1:04:07
  relationships, all of that. It can be uncomfortable to say
• 1:04:10
  something that you know the other person, or that you think
• 1:04:12
  the other person's not gonna like, but you don't really know
• 1:04:15
  until you have the conversation. So yeah, and you get that
• 1:04:18
  feedback of their facial expression and then, you know,
• 1:04:21
  oh wow, she's pissed. I'm not going to ask a follow up
• 1:04:24
  question about her fucking cookie.
• 1:04:25
  You know, that's why it's important to be able to be able
• 1:04:27
  to. Follow Yeah, but I do want to
• 1:04:29
  say they OK, so that I just looked back at the thing and
• 1:04:32
  they said if someone means every word they say, but an AI wrote
• 1:04:35
  most of the sentences. Who exactly have you been
• 1:04:38
  talking to? And you've been?
• 1:04:39
  Talking to AI. You've been talking to AI until
• 1:04:43
  you until they're able to talk to you directly, right?
• 1:04:46
  Yeah. Like have the conversation in
• 1:04:49
  person. So you know, and maybe it's good
• 1:04:52
  for you to practice, say you know what, let's have a verbal
• 1:04:56
  spoken important conversation once a week, you know, once a
• 1:05:01
  day, whatever feels comfortable to you and your relationship
• 1:05:04
  and, and you know what works, But it, it takes, you know, the
• 1:05:09
  obviously this, your partner's been doing this for a while.
• 1:05:12
  So it may take a little bit of time and baby steps to pull back
• 1:05:15
  from that. Yeah cuz for real, did you say I
• 1:05:18
  love you through text the first time?
• 1:05:19
  Did is that part cuz maybe we don't have a different
• 1:05:22
  conversation about that. OK, I.
• 1:05:23
  Mean that's yeah. Come on.
• 1:05:25
  That was our listener question. Thank you so much.
• 1:05:27
  Thank you listener. Appreciate you.
• 1:05:29
  You have. Confidence in you and your
• 1:05:31
  ability. Trust your instincts like but
• 1:05:33
  lean in and talk with your partner face to face.
• 1:05:35
  Let's go, OK. Excuse me?
• 1:05:39
  You can't fuck AI yet, so you got to have a good relationship
• 1:05:42
  with your partner. OK, this must be yours, Laboo
• 1:05:45
  boos and Pop Mart. Oh my God.
• 1:05:48
  OK, listeners, tell me. Well, Heidi, you tell me.
• 1:05:52
  Have you experienced Pop Mart? I am familiar with Blue Boo boos
• 1:05:58
  and I have really withering opinions about them.
• 1:06:02
  They're ugly and stupid and overpriced and I don't get on
• 1:06:05
  board with trends. Let's go.
• 1:06:07
  Kind of, they kind of are all those things.
• 1:06:09
  Well, they're not. I know it's.
• 1:06:10
  Collection that's on the wall behind you that you and I
• 1:06:12
  probably have different opinions.
• 1:06:14
  Hold on, he's getting his little baby.
• 1:06:17
  Cannot tell me that this little guy is ugly.
• 1:06:20
  I can though, and I will. Oh my God.
• 1:06:24
  Something being small does automatically make it somewhat
• 1:06:26
  adorable and like, squeak worthy, but oh.
• 1:06:30
  My God. OK, what are you wanting to say?
• 1:06:33
  I want to say that I love a blind box.
• 1:06:39
  I think they're so fun. I don't know what the dopamine
• 1:06:43
  hit is. I don't know what part of the
• 1:06:45
  brain there. But man, someone studied this
• 1:06:49
  and they said we are going to build an entire billion dollar
• 1:06:53
  industry out of putting toys in boxes and not and people and
• 1:06:58
  giving people the the ability to open them and not know what
• 1:07:02
  they're opening. And that's crazy.
• 1:07:04
  Surprise. A surprise.
• 1:07:06
  Oh my God. So it's all fun and games until
• 1:07:11
  you go to Pop Mart and you're like, this is the box.
• 1:07:15
  This is the set of the Boo boos that I want, and I want most of
• 1:07:20
  them. And so I'm like, yeah, there's
• 1:07:23
  twelve options here. And so I am going to treat
• 1:07:26
  myself and buy 3. And I just hope that I don't get
• 1:07:30
  this one. This one is the one that I'm
• 1:07:33
  like meh, I don't really like that one but OK I would be OK if
• 1:07:39
  I got that one. But not 3.
• 1:07:41
  Now sit between here folks. My gosh.
• 1:07:44
  This happens, I go and I buy 3. And the way it's set up, if you
• 1:07:48
  don't know, they have these sets, they come in boxes.
• 1:07:53
  So you can buy, you can spend $250 and buy all 12, right?
• 1:07:57
  Or 6 or 10 or whatever. And then you get the whole box
• 1:08:00
  and they're all this, they're all different because they came
• 1:08:02
  in that set. And so you're going to get all
• 1:08:05
  of them because that's how it works.
• 1:08:09
  So you go into the store and they've like opened up the box
• 1:08:12
  and you've got the 12 little boxes, the 12 blind boxes
• 1:08:15
  sitting there. You pick your 3.
• 1:08:16
  And so you think, OK, I'm going to get 3 different ones.
• 1:08:19
  Well I go and I buy 3 and I sit down.
• 1:08:22
  I get them home. I drove an hour to go get these
• 1:08:26
  things to. Get these ugly troll dolls that
• 1:08:28
  are overpriced. OK, they were fine.
• 1:08:31
  Matthew and I get home and I'm excited about him.
• 1:08:34
  He plays along with me. God bless him.
• 1:08:36
  So sweet. And I opened the first one.
• 1:08:41
  Lo and behold, it's the one I did not want.
• 1:08:45
  Well, fuck, you know that is what it is.
• 1:08:47
  That's the fly boxes. That's fine, I'll be.
• 1:08:49
  Fine, but I bet the other two will be good.
• 1:08:51
  Is what you I? Bet the other two will be good.
• 1:08:53
  Yeah. Oh no.
• 1:08:54
  Here I go. I open up the second one, much
• 1:08:58
  to my dismay. It's the same.
• 1:09:01
  Fucking one. How does it happen folks?
• 1:09:04
  How does it happen that I got two of the same when they're
• 1:09:08
  they just open up the box and sit it there?
• 1:09:10
  Why wouldn't I get 2 of the same?
• 1:09:11
  It's supposed to be 1 of each. That doesn't make sense, surely
• 1:09:15
  the third one, listeners. A serious tone settles in on the
• 1:09:24
  room. I opened the third box, it's the
• 1:09:29
  same fucking one. I'm being pumped.
• 1:09:32
  Ashton. Kutcher is in the other room,
• 1:09:35
  which is not good because I've heard some really bad things
• 1:09:37
  about Ashton Kutcher lately. We could.
• 1:09:38
  Maybe he's just laughing at you for spending so much money on
• 1:09:42
  those stupid shit. Caleb A. $120.00 later.
• 1:09:46
  My gosh, stop. So what do I do?
• 1:09:50
  I give those two away. OK, I give the I keep one.
• 1:09:53
  It's it's cute. It's too far away or I would
• 1:09:55
  grab it and show it to you. It is actually kind of cute and
• 1:09:57
  it's grown on me now. This was this was Christmas
• 1:10:01
  time. Right.
• 1:10:02
  Oh my gosh. Yeah.
• 1:10:03
  I ordered two more of the same set the other day.
• 1:10:08
  I'm really excited because I'm like what is what?
• 1:10:11
  What could? It could be.
• 1:10:12
  Possibly I get the same one. I get the same one, No So the
• 1:10:16
  first one I open I get the same one.
• 1:10:19
  I almost threw them both away right now.
• 1:10:21
  I'm sure I walked away. I walked away.
• 1:10:24
  I had a meltdown the next day we sat down and my friend was like,
• 1:10:30
  you need to record your you need to film yourself opening this
• 1:10:33
  one because that's gonna go viral if you if it happens
• 1:10:38
  again, like it, you already should have been recording.
• 1:10:40
  I did open it and I got one that I didn't.
• 1:10:43
  It was like the second one that I didn't really want.
• 1:10:45
  But at this point it wasn't the same 1, so it's fine.
• 1:10:48
  So if anyone has any interest in the brown, you found me Skull
• 1:10:54
  Panda. Oh my gosh.
• 1:10:57
  With yellow hair, she's a cute little Blondie.
• 1:10:59
  I've got four of them and three to to get rid of so well
• 1:11:04
  actually, no, I gave one away, so I've got two of them.
• 1:11:06
  So Oh my gosh, I'm I'm gonna go ahead and pass, but maybe
• 1:11:09
  somebody else wants that. That sounds great.
• 1:11:12
  That all being said, I will go back to Pop Mart next week and I
• 1:11:15
  will buy more. I just want you to go.
• 1:11:17
  We're we're moving on. Caleb and I differ in this
• 1:11:19
  opinion, but good. How are you, babe?
• 1:11:23
  You gotta collect things. Collections are so important and
• 1:11:25
  I love that. I love this is something you're
• 1:11:26
  jazzed about. For me it's men and la Boo boos
• 1:11:29
  so. Yeah, and Gemini season, which
• 1:11:31
  is our next spin the wheel topic.
• 1:11:34
  Is that it? Great, it says.
• 1:11:35
  Gemini season. I love Gemini season.
• 1:11:38
  I think that I, I, you know, I probably put this on there at
• 1:11:41
  the beginning of Gemini season. We're fully in it.
• 1:11:46
  It should be studied and I know every sign has their season, but
• 1:11:50
  it should be studied by science. Why is it that life can be so
• 1:11:58
  one way the like, it's like getting high.
• 1:12:01
  It's like suddenly they've taken cocaine straight from the jungle
• 1:12:06
  and they've injected it into my body, into my soul and suddenly,
• 1:12:11
  and not in like a drug user way, but into my soul.
• 1:12:15
  And now I just have so much energy and life and kids don't
• 1:12:20
  do cocaine. It's not, it doesn't actually do
• 1:12:22
  that. It's not positive.
• 1:12:23
  It's not a positive. Feeling, but you're living in
• 1:12:25
  alignment with the stars. But I'm living in alignment with
• 1:12:28
  this heart. Thank you, Heidi.
• 1:12:29
  Thank you. Yeah, life is good in Gemini
• 1:12:31
  season. That's really all I needed.
• 1:12:32
  To say I love that for you, I need a season, I need a season.
• 1:12:37
  Am I allowed to be mean? December for you.
• 1:12:41
  OK, this is so stupid, but I had to put this on here 'cause I
• 1:12:44
  needed to make fun of him. Tom Brady, do you know who he
• 1:12:48
  is? Football player.
• 1:12:49
  I am. I am aware.
• 1:12:51
  OK, you know he started his own coconut water company.
• 1:12:55
  I heard. Do you know the name of this
• 1:12:57
  coconut water company that it's called?
• 1:12:59
  Good Nut. It's interesting because of like
• 1:13:03
  the consistency and color of coconut water too, you know,
• 1:13:07
  like. There's so many things about it
• 1:13:09
  that like, and they're advertising like leans into
• 1:13:12
  that. Like he's not going to say the
• 1:13:14
  name of his company. You know what, you couldn't.
• 1:13:16
  I mean, it's a gimmick. I just, I hate it.
• 1:13:18
  This is not a good phrase. I don't like it.
• 1:13:20
  I don't, I don't like any of that.
• 1:13:21
  So anyway. That's stupid.
• 1:13:24
  I'm going to agree with you. I think it's I think it's queer
• 1:13:26
  baiting. By the way, if we want to talk
• 1:13:28
  about queer baiting, I think that's queer baiting.
• 1:13:30
  You can't just say good nut and be straight.
• 1:13:35
  No, no. Take that back in the closet.
• 1:13:38
  Thank you very much. Yes, Caleb, what the hell does
• 1:13:43
  this mean? Snails versus slugs.
• 1:13:46
  OK, what came first? The snails are the slugs.
• 1:13:50
  What? Yeah.
• 1:13:52
  Did snails leave their shells and become slugs, or did slugs
• 1:13:56
  grow snails? Beautiful brain this come from.
• 1:14:00
  What is the context on this back ass question?
• 1:14:03
  What is happening? What?
• 1:14:07
  Gross. And gross.
• 1:14:08
  I mean, so snails are French, slugs are not.
• 1:14:11
  I don't know what to tell you What.
• 1:14:12
  What is this question? Because the French eat snails.
• 1:14:16
  They do. You love that escargot.
• 1:14:18
  That's kind of hot. Actually.
• 1:14:20
  I did eat, I did eat escargot once with the sugar daddy.
• 1:14:25
  Where did the question? Go Shy and I were sitting on the
• 1:14:32
  phone the other morning. I don't even know where it came
• 1:14:34
  from, to be honest, but I was like, that needs to go on the
• 1:14:36
  wheel. We need to find out.
• 1:14:37
  OK, But yeah, Shy and I were having a conversation.
• 1:14:40
  Shout out to Avi Shy. Yeah.
• 1:14:43
  And yeah, that was. So it's really you just wanna
• 1:14:46
  know which ones came first. Yeah.
• 1:14:49
  And what's the preferred? What?
• 1:14:51
  What's preferred? You know in in the biology of it
• 1:14:54
  all You like a snail better. They're so much cuter.
• 1:14:56
  So much cuter. You can pick them up and move
• 1:14:59
  them by their cute little shell. Slugs are just disgusting.
• 1:15:03
  I feel like a slug is going to eat me.
• 1:15:06
  Yeah, they're gross. There's actually a children's
• 1:15:08
  book about slugs that like eat people.
• 1:15:12
  They're they melt when you put salt on them.
• 1:15:14
  Like melt into the gooeiest goo goo and and I just.
• 1:15:20
  And then Ron Weasley barfs them up in a really gross segment of
• 1:15:23
  one of the Harry Potter books. Like I just, I'm not here for
• 1:15:26
  slugs, but snails are adorable. Doesn't SpongeBob have a quick
• 1:15:31
  snail? Gary.
• 1:15:33
  Yeah, see, they're, they've been cartoonized.
• 1:15:36
  There's no part. OK, yes, but there's no cartoon
• 1:15:39
  slugs like are there? I don't want them if there are.
• 1:15:43
  I don't think so. OK, I.
• 1:15:46
  You want to know how we know I'm not a serial killer?
• 1:15:50
  How? Because I put salt on a slug one
• 1:15:53
  time and I had an absolute meltdown.
• 1:15:58
  I sobbed. I was a kid.
• 1:16:01
  I Yeah, Well, yeah, Shout out to that dead slug.
• 1:16:05
  I was in hysterics. I couldn't believe.
• 1:16:08
  And I couldn't take it back. I was so devastated.
• 1:16:11
  I killed that. Oh, my God.
• 1:16:12
  What a nightmare. Yeah, I was not.
• 1:16:14
  It was not good after that. When you said you can put salt
• 1:16:18
  on it, it like triggered that memory and I was like huh jump
• 1:16:21
  scare? Oh, and I don't mind.
• 1:16:24
  I don't mind melting a slug, but I don't like cleaning them up,
• 1:16:26
  so that's cute that you were. Well, that's why you have kids
• 1:16:29
  for it. I'm more of a serial killer than
• 1:16:31
  you are because I would burn those slugs to the ground.
• 1:16:33
  Let's go. Gross.
• 1:16:34
  Though now I'm gonna feel all slimy.
• 1:16:36
  I want to go like, yeah, OK, Adderall.
• 1:16:44
  Is meth OK? Yeah.
• 1:16:49
  Enough. Said So when you're out there
• 1:16:52
  ordering your Adderall from your weird off the black market
• 1:16:59
  psychologist who doesn't actually care about you and
• 1:17:02
  you're just trying to get your drugs.
• 1:17:07
  What is it? John Malini's doctor?
• 1:17:09
  Doctor Michael. Exactly, And that's probably why
• 1:17:12
  I put that on there. Yeah, sure, sure.
• 1:17:14
  It's not a real doctor. It's not.
• 1:17:17
  You don't. I mean, I don't know what your
• 1:17:18
  diagnosis is. OK, but if you're not diagnosed
• 1:17:21
  by a doctor that's like looking you in the face and actually
• 1:17:24
  gives a fuck about you, then anyway, that's all Adderall is.
• 1:17:29
  Math. OK, great.
• 1:17:31
  Last one is I, I have a question for you that I need help with.
• 1:17:36
  And so I'm not going to trust the wheel.
• 1:17:38
  I'm just going to pick the last topic because I was, I really
• 1:17:41
  needed it to come up. OK, OK, I got to set it up.
• 1:17:44
  The topic is couples Instagram influencers.
• 1:17:47
  OK, it is pride, which means there's a lot of pride content
• 1:17:52
  coming across my Instagram. And so I have noticed this trend
• 1:17:57
  and I, I don't, I feel uncomfortable even asking 'cause
• 1:18:00
  I'm aware that this is not my territory, but I have to ask,
• 1:18:02
  OK? There are a lot of OK couples
• 1:18:07
  who are clearly like influencers and they have Instagram pages
• 1:18:10
  dedicated to showcasing their lives where I am.
• 1:18:16
  I have a hard time telling them apart, and I think that they're
• 1:18:18
  twins. And so I just I, I like I Is
• 1:18:21
  this a trend? Your face says maybe.
• 1:18:24
  OK, so I'm just gonna lean into the fact that your face is
• 1:18:26
  giving me positive feedback right now.
• 1:18:28
  And I'm just gonna ask my question.
• 1:18:30
  Is it a trend that men who love men marry themselves?
• 1:18:36
  Yeah. I think I, I don't know if it's
• 1:18:38
  a trend. Is it a?
• 1:18:40
  Pattern. Is it a thing 'cause there's or
• 1:18:42
  is it just the the influencers that are coming across my feed
• 1:18:46
  because I cannot tell you how many couples, same sex couples
• 1:18:50
  have come across my feed that look almost identical to each
• 1:18:53
  other. Yeah.
• 1:18:54
  Oh, it's absolutely, yeah. I think it's absolutely a thing.
• 1:18:57
  I think it's easier to see in, you know, men loving men duos.
• 1:19:06
  But yeah, I think it's AI think it's a thing humanity wide.
• 1:19:10
  I think that we draw to people who mirror us in some way.
• 1:19:16
  Sure. But yeah, it's really
• 1:19:19
  definitely. I think many men are attracted
• 1:19:23
  to people who look like them. And you find couplings like
• 1:19:27
  that. Yeah.
• 1:19:28
  I mean, I've always said I would fuck myself any day, like any
• 1:19:32
  any day if I could find me out there, baby, I don't need.
• 1:19:41
  I'm good. So yeah, yeah, yeah, I think so.
• 1:19:45
  I think it's, but it, it's like a, a stereo like it's a thing in
• 1:19:48
  the gay community too. Like specifically people will
• 1:19:52
  talk about like the white gays and how they they're out there.
• 1:19:59
  Finding themselves. Yeah, exactly.
• 1:20:01
  OK, you know, there's there's a book that I have seen
• 1:20:04
  recommended a lot on book talk and bookstagram called Doppel
• 1:20:08
  Banger. And I haven't read it because
• 1:20:13
  even though lots of people in, like, have lots of fabulous
• 1:20:16
  things to say about it, the content or the context of the
• 1:20:18
  book is this person meets themselves from an alternate
• 1:20:22
  dimension and they fall in love with themselves.
• 1:20:25
  Yeah. I don't I that just feels a
• 1:20:27
  little incestuous to me. Like, no, you're just yeah,
• 1:20:31
  that's OK. Well, that's another one.
• 1:20:34
  I. Understand why it feels, I get
• 1:20:36
  it, I understand. But alternate universe, the
• 1:20:38
  rules are they're good, right? Like it's a completely different
• 1:20:41
  universe. So Doppelbanger is maybe a book
• 1:20:44
  that you need to put on YouTube? YouTube red.
• 1:20:46
  OK, I'm like it would keys you out.
• 1:20:49
  That sounds like a great plan. It just certainly doesn't
• 1:20:52
  squeeze me out at all. Yeah, it's a terrible title,
• 1:20:56
  but. It is.
• 1:20:57
  It's not great, it's not great, but if this podcast is reaching
• 1:21:01
  across multiple dimensions and there's an alternate Caleb out
• 1:21:04
  there, just know we're looking for you in this universe, so.
• 1:21:08
  He's probably an asshole though. Well.
• 1:21:12
  But I can get past that. I can get past it.
• 1:21:14
  But you know, he's, you know, if he's anything like me, he's down
• 1:21:17
  to at least have a good chat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 1:21:21
  We could do the thing and then never speak to each other again.
• 1:21:23
  Yeah. And it'd be a good time that.
• 1:21:25
  'D be a great time, yeah. Well, I love that.
• 1:21:29
  I think we looked into it. I think we did.
• 1:21:31
  On that note, Brandon, I feel like that was another episode
• 1:21:33
  down. Play us out.
• 1:21:34
  Let's go. Bye.