Latest / The You Project / #2017 Is Your Fear Hijacking Your Potential? - Andrea Leigh Rogers
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: I'll good. Are your bloody champions. Welcome to another installment
- 0:03Speaker 1: of the project. Craig Anthony Harper. I've got a new friend.
- 0:07Speaker 1: I'm going to say she's smarter than me, better to
- 0:09Speaker 1: look at than me. I don't know if you can
- 0:11Speaker 1: say that in twenty twenty five, but fuck it, I
- 0:13Speaker 1: said it. And we were just chatting, and now we're
- 0:17Speaker 1: going to chat with you as part of our group. Hi, Andrea,
- 0:20Speaker 1: how are you?
- 0:21Speaker 2: I don't know. I think you're a pretty good looking Craig.
- 0:23Speaker 2: I think we are.
- 0:25Speaker 3: I think we're competing for that title at the moment.
- 0:28Speaker 3: I'm doing great. I'm thrilled to be here.
- 0:30Speaker 1: Yeah, I've seen good looking. It doesn't look like this,
- 0:32Speaker 1: But thank you. That's very nice of you. And it's
- 0:35Speaker 1: good when you treat old people nicely. It's like good karma,
- 0:38Speaker 1: you know.
- 0:39Speaker 2: Oh is that what that is? I like it.
- 0:41Speaker 1: Hey, So we were just chatting. One of your many,
- 0:45Speaker 1: many things that you've done is extend bar. We'll jump,
- 0:52Speaker 1: we'll go back and forth. But I was just saying
- 0:54Speaker 1: to you, there's literally a studio three hundred meters from
- 0:58Speaker 1: my house, and I've always of kind of you know.
- 1:03Speaker 1: Full disclosure I'm being honest, I've looked it up. Gone
- 1:06Speaker 1: is that like? What is that? Is that like pilates?
- 1:09Speaker 1: Is that yoga? Or is that is that sala? That
- 1:13Speaker 1: is a ballet? Is it some kind of hybrid or
- 1:15Speaker 1: ten things before we Firstly, I don't know how many.
- 1:20Speaker 1: I think a fair few people in Australia know of
- 1:22Speaker 1: it and a lot would know what it is. But
- 1:25Speaker 1: what is extend bar?
- 1:28Speaker 3: Yes, so extend bar is a combination of dance and pilates,
- 1:32Speaker 3: and I essentially I took my foundation of the two
- 1:36Speaker 3: things that I love the most. I was a professional
- 1:38Speaker 3: dancer for many years. I segued my love for movement
- 1:41Speaker 3: into a career in pilates. As a professional dancer, I
- 1:45Speaker 3: used pilates as therapy to keep my body healthy doing
- 1:49Speaker 3: many shows at night and many shows a week performing.
- 1:51Speaker 3: I really wanted to make sure that my body stayed
- 1:54Speaker 3: as healthy as possible, strong as possible, and pilates is what.
- 1:56Speaker 2: Got me there.
- 1:58Speaker 3: And after dancing professionally, going to call EDE get my degree,
- 2:01Speaker 3: I was like, I got to get a real job, right,
- 2:05Speaker 3: I got to get a real desk job.
- 2:06Speaker 2: I gotta sit be on a desk. I have done it.
- 2:08Speaker 2: I have to have an adult job.
- 2:10Speaker 3: And so I was like, okay, let's go into uh,
- 2:12Speaker 3: let's go into advertising, because that's creative and I'm a
- 2:15Speaker 3: very creative person.
- 2:16Speaker 2: Craig.
- 2:16Speaker 3: I lasted six weeks at that job, and I decided, Okay,
- 2:22Speaker 3: I really need to listen to my soul and my body.
- 2:25Speaker 2: And I'm a mover. I'm a shaker.
- 2:27Speaker 3: I like to get in there and I like to
- 2:28Speaker 3: move my body and that's what stimulates me. And so
- 2:31Speaker 3: I segued my love for movement into plotis. So once
- 2:34Speaker 3: I graduated and from college, and then I went right
- 2:37Speaker 3: into the Ploates practice and took a year to get certified.
- 2:40Speaker 3: Through that, I just fell in love with I fell
- 2:42Speaker 3: in love with Ploates, but I was missing my dance.
- 2:45Speaker 3: So I decided to kind of blend the two. I said,
- 2:47Speaker 3: what if I can take all the principles and core
- 2:50Speaker 3: principles of the Plates regimen, and I can combine that
- 2:54Speaker 3: with the freedom of dance movement and what I know
- 2:57Speaker 3: to be strengthening for a dance and the the dance body.
- 3:01Speaker 3: And so I combined the two and I launched something
- 3:03Speaker 3: called extend Bar and it started in a small studio
- 3:06Speaker 3: in South Florida. It was just the class that I
- 3:08Speaker 3: put on the schedule, and within a couple of weeks
- 3:11Speaker 3: it took off, and so I had a wait list
- 3:13Speaker 3: within two weeks of launching the class. And then that's
- 3:15Speaker 3: what I said, Okay, I'm onto something here. I need
- 3:18Speaker 3: to develop a true repertoire. And then I developed a
- 3:21Speaker 3: certification program and then that turned into licensing model, so
- 3:25Speaker 3: I essentially licensed the intellectual property to various studios in
- 3:28Speaker 3: the US. Then that turned into franchising, that turned into
- 3:32Speaker 3: international franchising, and that is how we found our way
- 3:35Speaker 3: to Australia. So extend Bar is a great workout, I mean,
- 3:40Speaker 3: and it's not just for women, it's for everybody. I
- 3:42Speaker 3: asked Craig in the beginning if he tried the workout.
- 3:44Speaker 3: He said, hell no, I said, don't judge until you
- 3:48Speaker 3: try it. Craig, I used to train like a lot
- 3:50Speaker 3: of professional athletes, like I have linebackers that were doing
- 3:53Speaker 3: this workout because you know, it's a lot of balance
- 3:56Speaker 3: and coordination and flexibility mobility training. So it's actually a wonderful,
- 4:00Speaker 3: wonderful supportive tool for a lot of athletes.
- 4:03Speaker 1: I would look like a newborn fall up the back
- 4:06Speaker 1: of the group. That's that is, that is what you
- 4:10Speaker 1: don't want to see me trying to do it.
- 4:11Speaker 2: I might have agree with that.
- 4:14Speaker 1: I like lifting heavy shit. That's the end of my
- 4:17Speaker 1: skill range when it comes to athleticism. So what year
- 4:22Speaker 1: was that first class? That like, when you just had
- 4:24Speaker 1: the idea and you did wherever you were in Florida
- 4:27Speaker 1: and you did a class and it got booked out?
- 4:29Speaker 1: What year was that?
- 4:30Speaker 2: That was two thousand and six. Wow, that's amazing that
- 4:35Speaker 2: almost twenty years ago.
- 4:36Speaker 1: Wow. But you know what I love is you and I.
- 4:42Speaker 1: Something's quite different, but a lot of things similar in
- 4:45Speaker 1: that I was like you when I was a kid.
- 4:49Speaker 1: I started working in gyms when I was eighteen, just
- 4:51Speaker 1: as a gym instructor before I went to university and
- 4:55Speaker 1: all of that. But I realized not too while I
- 5:00Speaker 1: loved working in that kind of environment in gyms with people,
- 5:06Speaker 1: but I realized I didn't love having a boss. And
- 5:11Speaker 1: not that sounds bad, not because.
- 5:13Speaker 2: No, I get it.
- 5:15Speaker 1: It's like I just wanted to do my own shit
- 5:17Speaker 1: and they're like, no, you can't, No, you stay in
- 5:19Speaker 1: this box. That's not your box. I'm like, fuck this box.
- 5:22Speaker 1: I want to look in that box and I want
- 5:24Speaker 1: to create new boxes, and by the way, why don't
- 5:26Speaker 1: we try it? And they're like no, and which I
- 5:29Speaker 1: understand because it wasn't my business. Totally understand it. But
- 5:33Speaker 1: from when I was about twenty years old, I was
- 5:37Speaker 1: trying to think how do I how do I make dough,
- 5:40Speaker 1: how do I make some bank and and not feel
- 5:45Speaker 1: like I'm going to work every day, you know. And
- 5:48Speaker 1: so that for me, that's that intersection of what you
- 5:52Speaker 1: were talking about, which is what what do I love?
- 5:54Speaker 1: What am I passionate about, what makes me feel like
- 5:56Speaker 1: I have a purpose? What's fun? Where am I growing
- 6:00Speaker 1: and going? And what's going to make some dough? What
- 6:04Speaker 1: might be commercially viable? And then in the middle of
- 6:07Speaker 1: that creative, commercial self growth experience that there's no sense
- 6:15Speaker 1: of work, you know what I mean?
- 6:17Speaker 2: Absolutely?
- 6:18Speaker 3: Yeah, And what you just described is actually the pillars
- 6:21Speaker 3: of something called ekey Guy, which is a Japanese philosophy
- 6:24Speaker 3: of living your purpose. Right, you just describe that, and
- 6:26Speaker 3: I talk about that in my book. You know, that
- 6:28Speaker 3: book resonated with me simply because of what you just said.
- 6:32Speaker 3: You know, It's like, that's exactly what I did. I
- 6:33Speaker 3: was like, I don't want to stay in your lane.
- 6:35Speaker 3: I want to create my own lane, and I want
- 6:38Speaker 3: to be able to do this in a way that
- 6:39Speaker 3: feeds my soul but also gives back to the community
- 6:42Speaker 3: and does something good and worthy and I can also
- 6:44Speaker 3: make money at So yeah, that was the same the
- 6:47Speaker 3: same drive that you know pushed me to get outside
- 6:51Speaker 3: of the box. I was like, well, I don't want
- 6:53Speaker 3: to do pilates in this order. What if I don't
- 6:55Speaker 3: do exercises A B and C. What if I did
- 6:58Speaker 3: A CMNB. You know, I was always thinking, how can
- 7:01Speaker 3: we how can we shift this and change things up
- 7:03Speaker 3: a little bit, but also, you know, stay respectful to
- 7:05Speaker 3: the to the principles of the method, And that's how
- 7:09Speaker 3: Sendbar kind of started. And then it was just working
- 7:11Speaker 3: with really like minded individuals, people who were hungry and
- 7:15Speaker 3: passionate for the program, for the method, who wanted to
- 7:17Speaker 3: bring us to their communities. Very like minded individuals are
- 7:21Speaker 3: the reason that the brand grew was because you know,
- 7:23Speaker 3: it teamed up with people that were smarter than me,
- 7:26Speaker 3: better than me, just as hungry as me, and helped
- 7:29Speaker 3: to get the brand out of out of the gate.
- 7:32Speaker 1: Isn't it amazing when you either? And by the way, everyone,
- 7:36Speaker 1: I'm not I'm not suggesting for a minute that to
- 7:40Speaker 1: have a job is a bad thing. But for me
- 7:43Speaker 1: to go into basically the same environment, do the same
- 7:45Speaker 1: thing day in day out, for me, that's not great.
- 7:48Speaker 1: So I kind of need a little bit more whatever
- 7:51Speaker 1: freedom and risk and vulnerability and all of that stuff.
- 7:54Speaker 1: But to be able to go to a place every
- 7:58Speaker 1: day that you want to go to, and you're like,
- 8:00Speaker 1: I like, I actually like being here as much as
- 8:03Speaker 1: I like being at home, or maybe more sometimes, and
- 8:06Speaker 1: where you hang out with people who drag you up.
- 8:10Speaker 1: You know, when you know that old saying, you know
- 8:13Speaker 1: that saying, if you're the smartest in the room, get
- 8:15Speaker 1: the fuck out of the room, go to the next
- 8:17Speaker 1: room where you're the dumbest, or the least skilled or
- 8:20Speaker 1: the least capable, hang out with those people. And you know,
- 8:25Speaker 1: as I said to you before we started, I grow up.
- 8:29Speaker 1: Growing up, I was not gifted at anything, you know,
- 8:32Speaker 1: I wasn't terrible at everything. But it's not like, oh, yeah,
- 8:36Speaker 1: he was standout athlete or a brilliant musician or an
- 8:39Speaker 1: amazing writer, or he's just brilliant academic, none of that.
- 8:44Speaker 1: But I also I got very excited about stuff. I
- 8:48Speaker 1: got passionate about stuff, and I loved.
- 8:52Speaker 2: Yeah.
- 8:52Speaker 1: I didn't even know what this was, and but I was.
- 8:56Speaker 1: I was fascinated with human potential and possibilities because also,
- 9:00Speaker 1: which I didn't tell you, I'll shut up after this,
- 9:03Speaker 1: because it's really your show.
- 9:05Speaker 2: No, I love hearing this stuff.
- 9:06Speaker 1: I was a morbidly obese kid, right. I was the
- 9:08Speaker 1: fattest kid in my school, back in the days when
- 9:11Speaker 1: you could say fattest kid in my school. And that
- 9:15Speaker 1: for me, and then I lost a whole lot of
- 9:16Speaker 1: weight and had this whole psychological, emotional, sociological, physiological kind
- 9:21Speaker 1: of transformative experience. But out of that, I went, ah,
- 9:25Speaker 1: if I can go from the fattest, slowest kid to
- 9:28Speaker 1: a reasonably good athlete just through application and effort and
- 9:32Speaker 1: bit of self control, what else can I do? So
- 9:37Speaker 1: I got in shape, which was good, but it more
- 9:39Speaker 1: than anything, it like opened a door in my brain
- 9:42Speaker 1: of possibilities where I went, fuckety fuck, what else can
- 9:45Speaker 1: I do?
- 9:46Speaker 2: I love that? That is the pillar. You know.
- 9:50Speaker 3: Part of what I preach on regular race is exactly
- 9:52Speaker 3: what you just said. If you can do that one
- 9:53Speaker 3: hard thing, and movement exercise is a very strong foundational
- 9:58Speaker 3: tool for that because you don't want to do it right.
- 10:01Speaker 3: Nobody wants to. I mean, I teach fitness for a living.
- 10:03Speaker 3: I have for twenty years. I don't wake up every
- 10:05Speaker 3: day and I'm like, grab the leggings, put on the
- 10:07Speaker 3: sports bra.
- 10:08Speaker 1: Yay.
- 10:09Speaker 3: You know, No, motivation doesn't wake me up every day, right,
- 10:12Speaker 3: it doesn't. It's the consistency, it's the determination, it's the
- 10:15Speaker 3: after effect. It's the feeling I get after I work
- 10:17Speaker 3: out that I chase. Right, it's not the actual high
- 10:20Speaker 3: of it, of the excitement of putting on my legs
- 10:24Speaker 3: and doing the workout, but what that is when you
- 10:27Speaker 3: do that hard thing, especially in the morning, when you
- 10:30Speaker 3: start out your day doing something you really don't feel
- 10:33Speaker 3: like doing, but you do it anyway. There's that dopamine hit,
- 10:36Speaker 3: there's those endorphins that go, there's that little moment where
- 10:39Speaker 3: I go at a girl, at a girl, you got this?
- 10:41Speaker 3: What else are you capable of today? What else can
- 10:44Speaker 3: you do today? And it's those small moves that add
- 10:48Speaker 3: up to a big life. It's by taking those little
- 10:51Speaker 3: things that you do that you think, well, how will
- 10:54Speaker 3: you know exercise in every day change my bank account,
- 10:56Speaker 3: or how will you know intentional breathing every single morning
- 11:00Speaker 3: actually meet my relationship stronger? And you think that these
- 11:03Speaker 3: things are very minimal, and they're not, because what you're
- 11:07Speaker 3: doing is you're taking control over your life. You're being
- 11:09Speaker 3: intentional with your moves, and you're actually making a difference,
- 11:13Speaker 3: and you're moving the needle.
- 11:15Speaker 2: And that's what it really is all about.
- 11:17Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. I love it. Did you did
- 11:21Speaker 1: you get to a point where you realized as a
- 11:24Speaker 1: fitness professional, coach, teacher, mentor blah blah blah, all that
- 11:27Speaker 1: stuff that you and I both did. Did you get
- 11:30Speaker 1: to a point where you realized, oh, getting in shape
- 11:34Speaker 1: whatever that means, or changing a body or is as much,
- 11:37Speaker 1: if not more, a psychological and an emotional journey as
- 11:41Speaker 1: it is a physical one. Like I've written seven books.
- 11:44Speaker 1: My first book was about the psychology of getting in shape,
- 11:47Speaker 1: because I realized I could talk to people about anatomy
- 11:50Speaker 1: and physiology and nutrition and progressive overload and all of
- 11:53Speaker 1: these science y fucking things, right, but they'd give up
- 11:58Speaker 1: after four days. I'm like, well, what's you know? It's
- 12:01Speaker 1: like if we've got the best resource, the best program,
- 12:03Speaker 1: the best support crew, but you're not doing it. You know.
- 12:07Speaker 1: Did you have that kind of awakening?
- 12:10Speaker 2: I did.
- 12:10Speaker 3: I remember when I first started teaching, Within the first year,
- 12:12Speaker 3: I said to a friend of mine who was in
- 12:14Speaker 3: the industry, I was like, I think I'm more of
- 12:16Speaker 3: a therapist than I am anything else at this point.
- 12:20Speaker 2: And it really was.
- 12:21Speaker 3: And I discovered that and over the years have just
- 12:24Speaker 3: as you mentioned. I mean it really the mindset is everything.
- 12:28Speaker 3: I just you made me think of one of my clients.
- 12:31Speaker 3: She's actually somebody I feature in the book.
- 12:33Speaker 2: Her name is Sarah.
- 12:34Speaker 3: She's become a good friend of mine over the last
- 12:37Speaker 3: year and a half and she's lost over one hundred
- 12:40Speaker 3: pounds with me.
- 12:40Speaker 2: I think she's at one hundred and six right now.
- 12:43Speaker 3: And one of the things that she said which really
- 12:46Speaker 3: resonated with me. And let me frame this first by saying,
- 12:49Speaker 3: she had every obstacle against her. Okay, she had a
- 12:52Speaker 3: very severe medical condition with her eye. She had to
- 12:55Speaker 3: have a surgery that required her to lay face down
- 12:57Speaker 3: for six months and only get up to.
- 13:00Speaker 2: Use the bathroom.
- 13:01Speaker 3: Okay, So the level of talk about mindset and overcoming
- 13:05Speaker 3: and you know, she had every excuse in the book
- 13:07Speaker 3: to go, Now, this look what happened to me. I
- 13:11Speaker 3: no wonder, I gave all the weight, No wonder, I
- 13:13Speaker 3: gave up like and everybody would have said, I get it, Sarah, right,
- 13:16Speaker 3: but she didn't. She actually she took one little factor
- 13:19Speaker 3: of motivation. I sent an email out to everybody, and
- 13:21Speaker 3: she happened to be on that email database talking about
- 13:23Speaker 3: a test group that I.
- 13:24Speaker 2: Was doing, and she was like, this is my sign,
- 13:27Speaker 2: I'm going to do it.
- 13:28Speaker 3: And her intention, Craig, was not to go in there
- 13:30Speaker 3: and go I'm going to lose one hundred and ten pounds.
- 13:33Speaker 3: Her intention was, I'm just going to do that thing tomorrow.
- 13:36Speaker 3: I'm just going to show up for that class. I'm
- 13:38Speaker 3: going to press play on that workout and I'm going
- 13:40Speaker 3: to do it. And it's going to suck because I
- 13:41Speaker 3: haven't move my body in half a year, but I'm
- 13:43Speaker 3: going to do it.
- 13:44Speaker 2: And she did it.
- 13:44Speaker 3: And every day she just showed up, small, tiny little thing,
- 13:48Speaker 3: fifteen minute workouts.
- 13:49Speaker 2: Okay, like every single day she showed up.
- 13:51Speaker 3: And then she lost five pounds and then she said,
- 13:54Speaker 3: can I lose the ten pounds? Can I lose fifteen
- 13:56Speaker 3: and from there on it kind of snowballed. And one
- 13:59Speaker 3: thing that she told me, which this is the story
- 14:02Speaker 3: I love the most about her, is she said, I
- 14:05Speaker 3: you know, people always ask her, how did you do it?
- 14:07Speaker 2: How did you do it? How did you stay motivated?
- 14:09Speaker 3: Like you said after four days when you want to
- 14:10Speaker 3: give up, how did you not give up? And she said, listen,
- 14:13Speaker 3: when I fall off the wagon, I don't set up camp.
- 14:17Speaker 3: She said, I get right back on and keep going.
- 14:20Speaker 3: And I was like, that is so true, because so
- 14:22Speaker 3: often life we like, we fall off the wagon, and
- 14:24Speaker 3: then we're like, let's set up a fire, let's make
- 14:26Speaker 3: some s'mores, let's sing some songs, like let's hang out
- 14:29Speaker 3: over here, because this is easier.
- 14:31Speaker 2: This feels like we like the failure.
- 14:33Speaker 3: It feels good over here, instead of just going, well,
- 14:35Speaker 3: that was shitty, and I didn't do the workout today.
- 14:38Speaker 3: I ate crappy today, and that's okay tomorrow. Get back
- 14:40Speaker 3: on the horse and keep going. And so she developed
- 14:42Speaker 3: the mindset of like, get you don't set up camp.
- 14:45Speaker 3: Then I love that because so many times we set
- 14:47Speaker 3: up camp, right, we just.
- 14:49Speaker 2: Stay in that.
- 14:51Speaker 3: Fearful excuse zone and we don't let ourselves push forward
- 14:55Speaker 3: and press play on the workouts and move our body
- 14:57Speaker 3: and do the things that we need to do. And
- 14:59Speaker 3: so that's a great mind inside. It's helped a lot
- 15:00Speaker 3: of women that I've shared that with. Don't set up pamp,
- 15:03Speaker 3: give yourself the freedom and greace to srew up a
- 15:05Speaker 3: little bit, but then get back on.
- 15:07Speaker 2: The trail and keep moving forward.
- 15:10Speaker 1: Yeah it's a mindset. No, yeah, yeah, one hundred percent.
- 15:14Speaker 1: It's I'm more brutal than you. When people say to me,
- 15:17Speaker 1: I fell off the wagon. I go, there's no wagon.
- 15:20Speaker 1: It's just you and your choices. I go, there's no
- 15:23Speaker 1: fucking wagon. There's just you and your choices. I go,
- 15:25Speaker 1: tell me what you did? They go, oh, I, you
- 15:28Speaker 1: know whatever. I ate my own body weight in chocolate.
- 15:30Speaker 1: I go, how did that happen? They're like, what?
- 15:33Speaker 2: How did I make a choice?
- 15:35Speaker 1: Did somebody hold you down? Was there like? Did people
- 15:38Speaker 1: break into your house so at night and tie you
- 15:41Speaker 1: to a.
- 15:42Speaker 2: Chair, sit down your throat?
- 15:43Speaker 1: Yeah, let's be honest, and this is not self loathing.
- 15:46Speaker 1: This is just self awareness.
- 15:48Speaker 2: I'm like, self awareness.
- 15:49Speaker 1: Okay, you made some choices, you did some things. Now
- 15:52Speaker 1: I'm not hating on you. I'm trying to get you
- 15:55Speaker 1: to the point where you're taking where you're taking total
- 15:58Speaker 1: responsibility in a positive way and a practical, real world
- 16:04Speaker 1: way for what you do. So there's no wagon and
- 16:08Speaker 1: you're not falling off it. Nice fucking story, But there's you.
- 16:12Speaker 1: There's you and your choices, your behaviors and your outcomes.
- 16:16Speaker 2: Right, and you have to own your effort.
- 16:18Speaker 1: One hundred percent. Like when I was a morbidly obese kid,
- 16:21Speaker 1: I was one hundred nearly one hundred kilos, which is
- 16:24Speaker 1: well over two hundred pounds at fourteen. Right now, imagine that, Andrew,
- 16:28Speaker 1: And I'm right now I am eighty kilos, which is
- 16:32Speaker 1: one seventy six pounds, and I'm about five inches taller
- 16:35Speaker 1: than I was then. Right, And again there's no self
- 16:38Speaker 1: loathing in this, just self awareness. But when and it's
- 16:42Speaker 1: pretty tricky, this conversation in twenty twenty five, because we
- 16:45Speaker 1: want to be empathic, we want to love people, we
- 16:47Speaker 1: want to but also, hey, Craig, if you're eating a
- 16:51Speaker 1: thousand calories a day more than you need, this is
- 16:54Speaker 1: just science, bro, that's probably not going to end up great.
- 16:58Speaker 1: You know, now, that doesn't mean you're not an awesome
- 17:00Speaker 1: human or we don't love you, doesn't mean you're not
- 17:02Speaker 1: a kind guy, doesn't mean you're you know, it's just
- 17:05Speaker 1: that there are consequences of actions, and you know, so.
- 17:10Speaker 2: That just because we teach our children.
- 17:13Speaker 1: Trying to keep that kind of balance andria of how
- 17:17Speaker 1: do I be real world practical, honest, straight with people,
- 17:21Speaker 1: but also supporting and loving and knowing that the world
- 17:26Speaker 1: doesn't give a fuck about your feelings, and knowing that
- 17:31Speaker 1: bad choices have real consequences, you know, trying to keep
- 17:34Speaker 1: that I care about you, but also, let's be fucking real,
- 17:37Speaker 1: how do you navigate that?
- 17:40Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean that's just what I said.
- 17:41Speaker 3: I typically will say, can we get honest with your
- 17:44Speaker 3: effort or on your effort? And that in that same
- 17:47Speaker 3: context that you're referring to, which is and listen, life happens,
- 17:51Speaker 3: should happens. You're not going to be perfect. There are
- 17:54Speaker 3: going to be times that you know, you make a
- 17:55Speaker 3: choice that you're not exactly proud of or you don't
- 17:59Speaker 3: feel great about.
- 18:00Speaker 2: I mean, we've all been there.
- 18:02Speaker 3: I think it's unrealistic to think that perfection exists every day, right,
- 18:05Speaker 3: it doesn't. We don't do that, whether it's in our nutrition,
- 18:08Speaker 3: whether it's in our daily choices, whether it's in our
- 18:10Speaker 3: parenting or professionalism, whatever it is, we make mistakes, right,
- 18:15Speaker 3: And so I think this, especially for women, it's a
- 18:18Speaker 3: self loathing. It's this like falling into this as I said,
- 18:21Speaker 3: camp where we just sit down and we're like, you know,
- 18:24Speaker 3: coming up with all the self loathing, and we sit
- 18:26Speaker 3: there and we let that sorrow sink in on us,
- 18:28Speaker 3: and it is it's handcuffing us, you know, it's it's
- 18:31Speaker 3: putting you into a position and into a mindset of
- 18:35Speaker 3: you aren't capable, you aren't going to do that. You're
- 18:37Speaker 3: not bred that way. You're you're not born that way.
- 18:40Speaker 3: You're not that person that you see on Instagram that
- 18:42Speaker 3: does those things like And I kind of think that's
- 18:45Speaker 3: a little bit of bullshit because I think we let
- 18:47Speaker 3: ourselves sometimes overcome our own you know, capabilities. And I think,
- 18:53Speaker 3: you know, if you can just adopt the just you know,
- 18:55Speaker 3: I have a hat, I say something like, just.
- 18:57Speaker 2: Do the thing, Okay, take action, do the thing.
- 19:00Speaker 3: Stop thinking about it, stop making excuses about it, stop
- 19:03Speaker 3: worrying about it.
- 19:04Speaker 2: Just go.
- 19:05Speaker 3: You know, I grew up as a dancer, right and
- 19:07Speaker 3: when I was dancing, you know, my my dance teacher
- 19:11Speaker 3: would say five six seven eight and then we would
- 19:15Speaker 3: go okay, So five six seven.
- 19:16Speaker 2: Eight was your prep. You had four seconds to get
- 19:19Speaker 2: your shit together.
- 19:20Speaker 3: It was like five six seven eight, perform right there,
- 19:24Speaker 3: hit the mark, do the turn, do the leap, whatever
- 19:27Speaker 3: it was, and it it gave us zero.
- 19:29Speaker 2: Time to go, oh, shot, what are the moves or
- 19:31Speaker 2: what am I going to do? Or I don't know that.
- 19:32Speaker 3: It just was five six seven eight go And that's
- 19:35Speaker 3: something that I work with with my clients.
- 19:36Speaker 2: And like five six seven eight move.
- 19:38Speaker 3: Just stop stop thinking, stop overthinking, and start moving and
- 19:42Speaker 3: then get honest with your effort. You know, when you
- 19:44Speaker 3: come to me and you tell me I've done everything
- 19:46Speaker 3: I've been working out for six months, or I'm I'm
- 19:49Speaker 3: you know, I'm getting so organized in my life. I'm
- 19:51Speaker 3: I'm changing the way I approach you know, my mindset
- 19:54Speaker 3: on A B and C. I'm like, but are you?
- 19:56Speaker 3: Because nothing's changing. So let's let's get honest with your effort.
- 19:59Speaker 3: And I think, like you said, it does require some
- 20:01Speaker 3: real talk with yourself to figure out what you are
- 20:05Speaker 3: really doing the effort that you're contributing and and where
- 20:08Speaker 3: the needle is moving based on your efforts.
- 20:12Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it. Yeah. One of my philosophies is
- 20:14Speaker 1: if you really want to know someone, pay attention to
- 20:19Speaker 1: some of what they say and all of what they do.
- 20:22Speaker 1: It's very true action what people do over time. I'm
- 20:26Speaker 1: not talking about in a moment because we all fuck up,
- 20:29Speaker 1: but how.
- 20:31Speaker 3: Zoom olt Yeah, yeah, exactly zoom and see what they do.
- 20:35Speaker 2: I love that. That's it, That's that's it, that is
- 20:38Speaker 2: exactly it.
- 20:39Speaker 1: I think also, people don't understand their own potential. I
- 20:44Speaker 1: think that you know, you were talking about what we
- 20:47Speaker 1: were kind of talking about, overthinking, underdoing and like not.
- 20:51Speaker 1: I think fear and all its expressions, you know, anxiety,
- 20:55Speaker 1: self doubt, self loathing, and avoidance, and I think fear
- 21:00Speaker 1: jack's our potential. Like as I said to you before
- 21:02Speaker 1: we rolled, I'm not very talented, but I'm very good
- 21:06Speaker 1: at getting the most out of what I've got. And
- 21:09Speaker 1: I meet people who are more talented than me every day,
- 21:14Speaker 1: and they think I'm some high watermark of whatever I go.
- 21:18Speaker 1: If only you knew all the bullshit, the overthinking, the
- 21:22Speaker 1: self doubt, the self loathing, the insecurity, the ego, all
- 21:26Speaker 1: the Craig bullshit that exists that I have to fucking
- 21:30Speaker 1: deal with and navigate, You wouldn't think I'm nearly as
- 21:34Speaker 1: special as you currently think I am. And I think
- 21:37Speaker 1: just knowing that, you know, oh this is scary, and
- 21:42Speaker 1: that's okay, Oh this is hard, that's okay, this is uncomfortable. Great.
- 21:46Speaker 1: What if I lean into all that stuff that I
- 21:48Speaker 1: don't really like? Because in that stuff that I don't
- 21:51Speaker 1: like is where I become fucking amazing.
- 21:55Speaker 3: Yeah, And I think that the game of comparison that
- 21:58Speaker 3: is now every day right world that has just completely
- 22:05Speaker 3: you know, put the brakes on so much growth for
- 22:07Speaker 3: so many individuals because there is this idea just as
- 22:11Speaker 3: you said, Oh, Craig has all of his shit together,
- 22:13Speaker 3: he's like the most, he's a genius. He's got everything
- 22:16Speaker 3: going for him. It's easier for him, it's not easy
- 22:19Speaker 3: for me. He's got a leg up on me. And
- 22:22Speaker 3: the truth is nobody really does. It's just a matter
- 22:24Speaker 3: of effort and taking action and doing the thing. And
- 22:27Speaker 3: if you remove the outside fear. You know, I just
- 22:31Speaker 3: saw something recently a podcaster who is like, just get
- 22:34Speaker 3: ready to embarrass yourself, like you have to put yourself
- 22:36Speaker 3: out there and be ready to get to be embarrassed,
- 22:40Speaker 3: to like do stupid shit that is going to make
- 22:42Speaker 3: you feel like, oh my god, I can't believe I
- 22:44Speaker 3: just put that out there. And that's the same kind
- 22:46Speaker 3: of thing in life. You have to put yourself out there.
- 22:48Speaker 3: You have to be willing to take that slice of
- 22:52Speaker 3: embarrassment in order to have a bigger piece of the pie, right,
- 22:56Speaker 3: you really need to. And I think you know that's
- 22:58Speaker 3: why I break things down to more bite sized, digestible,
- 23:03Speaker 3: you know, snippets and moves, because I think the feeling, the.
- 23:06Speaker 2: Barrier to entry is so big.
- 23:07Speaker 3: It's like, oh, I can't do all that. The feeling
- 23:10Speaker 3: is I have to overhaul my whole entire life. I
- 23:13Speaker 3: have to find a new life. I have to find
- 23:15Speaker 3: a new job, I have to find a new partner.
- 23:17Speaker 3: I have to find, you know, a better wardrobe. I've
- 23:19Speaker 3: got to buy a new house or whatever it is.
- 23:21Speaker 3: It's like we always think these things are going to
- 23:22Speaker 3: fix our direction or our path or our trajectory, and
- 23:26Speaker 3: it's really you and I both know that's not what
- 23:28Speaker 3: it's about. It's about the everyday habits. It's about the
- 23:30Speaker 3: things that you do every single day that add up
- 23:33Speaker 3: over time, that are done consistently, that create the path
- 23:37Speaker 3: and the results that you're looking for.
- 23:39Speaker 2: And it's not always fun. It's not always easy.
- 23:42Speaker 1: Yeah, And sometimes, which is really hard to sell as
- 23:47Speaker 1: a concept or a product, is it's fucking slow sometimes.
- 23:52Speaker 3: You know what, most times it's not fast. I mean
- 23:55Speaker 3: people always I have this woman reaching out to me
- 23:57Speaker 3: recently and she asked me again and again, like I
- 24:00Speaker 3: want to do what you do. I want the flexibility
- 24:01Speaker 3: that you have. I want to you know, how did
- 24:03Speaker 3: you build this and how did you get to so
- 24:04Speaker 3: many studios.
- 24:05Speaker 2: I'm like, girl, this has been twenty years. Twenty years.
- 24:09Speaker 1: You know.
- 24:09Speaker 3: When I was going after the beach body gig, that
- 24:12Speaker 3: took me ten years to lay on that job. And
- 24:14Speaker 3: it took me ten years. Every six months I made
- 24:16Speaker 3: a phone call to the individual, the producer at that
- 24:19Speaker 3: company and said, remember me for ten years before I
- 24:24Speaker 3: actually got a contract signed with them. So like, it's
- 24:27Speaker 3: just you know, you know, people see that as an
- 24:29Speaker 3: overnight thing, and it's obviously not, and you've got to
- 24:32Speaker 3: be patient. But it's the repetition, it's the consistency, it's
- 24:35Speaker 3: doing the thing doing the thing, doing the thing, doing
- 24:37Speaker 3: the thing, and then eventually you start to feel a
- 24:40Speaker 3: little bit of traction, You start to feel a little
- 24:43Speaker 3: momentum building, and that gives.
- 24:44Speaker 2: You a little bit of a buzz. Right, That's that's
- 24:46Speaker 2: where motivation comes.
- 24:48Speaker 1: Yes, definitely, and being able to keep doing what in
- 24:53Speaker 1: the short term doesn't work or do you know what
- 24:55Speaker 1: I mean? It's like the first six hundred episodes of
- 24:58Speaker 1: this show, Andrea, I lost money, Like, not only did
- 25:02Speaker 1: I not make money, and then eventually we got I
- 25:07Speaker 1: partnered with an organization called an over Entertainment over here,
- 25:11Speaker 1: who have multiple radio stations all over the country, and
- 25:14Speaker 1: they're great, they're great partners. But yeah, I mean I
- 25:19Speaker 1: didn't really know, but I believed on knew. I just thought, well,
- 25:23Speaker 1: I'm getting better at this. I'm not terrible. I was terrible,
- 25:26Speaker 1: then I was kind of shitty. Then I was average,
- 25:29Speaker 1: and then I you know, and now I'm not terrible.
- 25:33Speaker 1: And but how do you get good at the thing
- 25:35Speaker 1: that you don't do? How do you master what you avoid?
- 25:39Speaker 1: How do you win over the long term if you
- 25:41Speaker 1: give up three weeks in every time, right.
- 25:44Speaker 2: Exactly six hundred episodes.
- 25:46Speaker 3: I love that that's that's that's that's a beast of
- 25:48Speaker 3: a project that isn't overnight.
- 25:49Speaker 1: Yeah, well, I I shouldn't even tell you this. I
- 25:55Speaker 1: spent fifty grand or thirty or forty grand, I should
- 25:58Speaker 1: say on a little studio down stairs, not where I'm
- 26:01Speaker 1: at right now. And then I just and I had
- 26:04Speaker 1: to pay people to produce an edit and put it
- 26:06Speaker 1: together and upload it because I'm too fucking dumb to
- 26:09Speaker 1: do all that. And I would say I spent one
- 26:12Speaker 1: hundred grand before I started to and not that I mean,
- 26:16Speaker 1: I didn't do it to become rich, but I definitely
- 26:19Speaker 1: I would rather make it. You know, I'm like, wow,
- 26:24Speaker 1: like it's free for everyone anyway, but I don't want
- 26:27Speaker 1: it to you know. But the thing is over time,
- 26:30Speaker 1: whatever it is, you know, whether or not it's a
- 26:32Speaker 1: martial art, or whether or not it's building a business
- 26:35Speaker 1: and an organization multiple times like you have, whether or
- 26:38Speaker 1: not it's writing a book or you know, my first
- 26:42Speaker 1: book was kind of rubbish, My third book was not
- 26:44Speaker 1: total rubbish. You know. My first television interview was a nightmare.
- 26:49Speaker 1: My tenth one was not terrible. It's like, this is
- 26:52Speaker 1: the process of getting good is for most people. Whatever
- 26:55Speaker 1: it is that you do for the first time, you're
- 26:57Speaker 1: going to be somewhere between complete crap and okay. But
- 27:02Speaker 1: how you develop mastery, how you develop mastery is just
- 27:06Speaker 1: keep fucking showing up.
- 27:08Speaker 3: One of the books I have out here is Mastery.
- 27:10Speaker 3: I I preach this and even in my workouts, like
- 27:13Speaker 3: it's it's a simple. It's a way to simplify it, right,
- 27:15Speaker 3: because it's an analogy for everything in life, you know,
- 27:19Speaker 3: I think especially nowadays, we are so quick to move
- 27:23Speaker 3: on to the next we want the next thing, right,
- 27:25Speaker 3: Like we can't even watch a one minute video without
- 27:28Speaker 3: getting bored, and we are constantly overstimulated, and we are
- 27:31Speaker 3: constantly wanting instant gratification and something that hits that dopamine
- 27:35Speaker 3: every single day, and that is not realistic to you know,
- 27:38Speaker 3: building and sustaining any type of success in any area
- 27:41Speaker 3: of your life. And if you take something as simple
- 27:43Speaker 3: as a workout, you need repetition. Repetition is it. Repetition
- 27:49Speaker 3: is your is your is your light, it's your spotlight
- 27:52Speaker 3: towards success. Repetition is where you learn what you're doing good,
- 27:56Speaker 3: what you're not doing good, and how to master it.
- 27:58Speaker 3: And we have been of voidant of mastery we are
- 28:01Speaker 3: all about. I mean even in like the companies that
- 28:03Speaker 3: I work with are like, let's do one hundred new workouts.
- 28:06Speaker 2: I'm like, or we could do five and have them
- 28:08Speaker 2: repeat it, because because why would we not.
- 28:11Speaker 3: Like back in the day, we had one workout video,
- 28:13Speaker 3: one DVD and we did that same workout for a
- 28:15Speaker 3: year and people got amazing results. Why because they learned
- 28:19Speaker 3: how to get stronger, and then they learned how to
- 28:20Speaker 3: optimize their form, and then they learned how to you know,
- 28:23Speaker 3: get for more out of every bit their range of.
- 28:26Speaker 2: Motion, their technique.
- 28:27Speaker 3: Like we we now don't give ourselves the chance to
- 28:30Speaker 3: fail and then succeed. We are just constantly trying to
- 28:34Speaker 3: throw something new. That's going to be the answer. That's
- 28:36Speaker 3: the answer. That's the answer. That's the answer.
- 28:38Speaker 2: That's the answer, you know.
- 28:39Speaker 3: And so instead of trying to find a new workout
- 28:41Speaker 3: every single day of the week to stimulate your senses,
- 28:44Speaker 3: why don't you strip it down and start focusing on
- 28:47Speaker 3: how you can get comfortable with repetition and repeating some
- 28:52Speaker 3: things in your life and knowing that every day there
- 28:55Speaker 3: is a little gain that happens when you start to
- 28:57Speaker 3: lean into that.
- 28:59Speaker 1: Yeah, love it exactly right. And I think because you know,
- 29:04Speaker 1: like we spoke about before, it's quite often not fun, quick, easy, sexy,
- 29:08Speaker 1: or painless. All things that we love in twenty twenty five.
- 29:12Speaker 1: We love shortcuts, we love magic pills, we love quick fixings,
- 29:16Speaker 1: we love instant gratification, we love dopamine. We love pressing
- 29:20Speaker 1: the fucking dopamine button. But when I eat the salad
- 29:24Speaker 1: and the chicken breast rather than the whatever it is,
- 29:26Speaker 1: the burger, well, you know, it's like doesn't do it
- 29:30Speaker 1: for me. So I'll have the burger, and I'll start
- 29:34Speaker 1: on Monday, and then Monday becomes two thousand and thirty four, right,
- 29:38Speaker 1: And then we have the same internal dialogue about the
- 29:41Speaker 1: same shit for years, sometimes decades, and then wake up
- 29:46Speaker 1: one day and go, I'm fifty, and how the fuck
- 29:49Speaker 1: did this happen to my body?
- 29:51Speaker 2: Like, well, where did my life go?
- 29:54Speaker 1: There's a correlation between choices and behaviors and outcomes. You know,
- 29:58Speaker 1: I'm not trying to again, not trying to throw shade,
- 30:00Speaker 1: but you know that that's that like your life's going
- 30:03Speaker 1: to happen anyway. I feel like this is a bit
- 30:06Speaker 1: deep and philosophical by the way, it's only seven thirty
- 30:09Speaker 1: in the morning over here.
- 30:10Speaker 3: So we're starting not strong.
- 30:14Speaker 1: What time is it where you are?
- 30:15Speaker 3: Yeah, we're four thirty PM, four thirty in the afternoons,
- 30:19Speaker 3: just about school chip the time.
- 30:20Speaker 1: That's why you look so good and awake. But that
- 30:25Speaker 1: just being willing to you know, just go all right,
- 30:28Speaker 1: this is going to take a while. It's not going
- 30:30Speaker 1: to be fun, quick, easy, or painless. And that's fine,
- 30:34Speaker 1: and and I won't I won't see amazing results quickly
- 30:39Speaker 1: more than likely. But also, how do I make this
- 30:43Speaker 1: a you know, this habit or this behavior or this
- 30:47Speaker 1: protocol or whatever it is that works for me? How
- 30:50Speaker 1: do I make this a thing that's now hardwired into
- 30:52Speaker 1: my normal operating system versus a thing that I do.
- 30:57Speaker 1: Because I had a conversation with Andrea, and I'm pumped, you.
- 31:01Speaker 2: Know, because that's not sustainable.
- 31:05Speaker 1: Yeah, we're trying to create new neural pathways, new subconscious programming,
- 31:09Speaker 1: you know, a new way of doing and being that's
- 31:11Speaker 1: optimal for you and optimal for me. Knowing that what
- 31:15Speaker 1: works optimally for Andrea definitely why I'm working for Craig
- 31:18Speaker 1: and vice versa.
- 31:20Speaker 3: That's exactly right. And you know, it's funny I teach
- 31:22Speaker 3: my daughters this. You know, I'm a single mother. I
- 31:23Speaker 3: have two daughters, like a twelve year old and a
- 31:25Speaker 3: fourteen year old, and I don't live near family. I'm
- 31:29Speaker 3: really doing it all on my own and trying to
- 31:31Speaker 3: raise these girls to be determined, successful, of strong character
- 31:37Speaker 3: and have courage in life.
- 31:39Speaker 2: You know.
- 31:39Speaker 3: And these are the lessons that I am teaching them
- 31:42Speaker 3: are the same lessons, which is like you get what
- 31:44Speaker 3: you give, honey, you know, and you got to focus
- 31:47Speaker 3: on how you can try harder and harder a little
- 31:49Speaker 3: bit harder every single day, and that you got to
- 31:52Speaker 3: keep showing up even when it's hard. You just got
- 31:55Speaker 3: to keep showing up and keep giving yourself that, you know.
- 31:58Speaker 3: Future talk is what I always say, is like who
- 32:01Speaker 3: do you want.
- 32:01Speaker 2: To be in the future?
- 32:02Speaker 3: And when you have a talk with yourself in the future,
- 32:04Speaker 3: and you know, for my twelve and fourteen year old,
- 32:06Speaker 3: they're like eye rolling, here comes another lecture from mom.
- 32:09Speaker 3: But you know, who do you want to be in
- 32:11Speaker 3: the future? Right Like I didn't get to where I'm
- 32:13Speaker 3: at right now by just sitting back and like letting
- 32:16Speaker 3: you know things happen for me.
- 32:18Speaker 2: I didn't you know.
- 32:18Speaker 3: I had a lot of challenges in my life, and
- 32:20Speaker 3: I had a choice to either sit in the closet
- 32:22Speaker 3: and cry it out or to buck it up and
- 32:26Speaker 3: make some moves in my life. And I decided to
- 32:28Speaker 3: believe in myself, and I decided that I wanted to
- 32:31Speaker 3: have my future self be proud of the efforts that
- 32:33Speaker 3: I made in my life. And that's the messaging that
- 32:36Speaker 3: I give my girls, like you've got to wake up
- 32:37Speaker 3: every day and figure out what kind of day you're
- 32:39Speaker 3: going to have, not let the day dictate to you
- 32:42Speaker 3: what you are feeling. You're going to have to figure
- 32:44Speaker 3: out how you respond to challenges in life. And right now,
- 32:46Speaker 3: as teenage girls, let me tell you, the challenges are there,
- 32:49Speaker 3: their present, and they're much harder than I had to
- 32:51Speaker 3: deal with as a teenage girl. And so it's like
- 32:54Speaker 3: equipping them with this inner confidence and courage and also
- 32:58Speaker 3: understanding that you know, you got to do the thing.
- 33:01Speaker 3: You just got to do the thing, and you've got
- 33:03Speaker 3: to get through it and it's not going.
- 33:05Speaker 2: To be cozy and it's not going to always.
- 33:06Speaker 3: Be you know, I always say, this is not a
- 33:08Speaker 3: rainbows and sprinkles kind of day.
- 33:10Speaker 2: Okay, but you still got to get through it.
- 33:12Speaker 3: And so it's trying to create that, you know, that
- 33:15Speaker 3: growth mindset as we talk about, but it's more than that.
- 33:17Speaker 3: It's like that strength mindset. It's that empowerment mindset. It's
- 33:20Speaker 3: the there's no opportunity for the excuses to float in
- 33:24Speaker 3: because you're the person that just does the thing. And
- 33:27Speaker 3: so I'm working hard to kind of create that mindset
- 33:30Speaker 3: for all the people that I work with, but specifically
- 33:32Speaker 3: for my two daughters.
- 33:34Speaker 1: And the only way that people you know, whether or
- 33:37Speaker 1: not she's twelve and four nine year old, or you
- 33:39Speaker 1: or mail any of our listeners, but the only way
- 33:41Speaker 1: that we can individually build resilience is by doing or
- 33:45Speaker 1: dealing with hardshit. Right, It's like you can't sit on
- 33:48Speaker 1: the couch eating potato chips building resilience. Like there's like
- 33:55Speaker 1: we actually need to go through adversity, through through challenge,
- 33:58Speaker 1: through discomfort, through loss, through suffering, through learning and unlearning,
- 34:04Speaker 1: like we need to we need to climb the mountain
- 34:06Speaker 1: to build that strength and fitness and awareness and understanding.
- 34:10Speaker 1: It's all well and good to talk about resilience, but
- 34:13Speaker 1: we need to help people who want to be helped,
- 34:16Speaker 1: of course, to understand how that growth happens and growth doesn't.
- 34:20Speaker 1: This kind of growth does not happen in comfort.
- 34:24Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah, you know what, looking back, I think,
- 34:29Speaker 3: you know, when you look back on those times, that's
- 34:31Speaker 3: exactly the lesson. When you're in it, it's really shitty
- 34:33Speaker 3: and it's really hard, and you're like, I know, I'm
- 34:36Speaker 3: going to look forward and I'll be stronger on the
- 34:38Speaker 3: other side, but this is hard right now. But truly,
- 34:41Speaker 3: when I look back on those times that brought me
- 34:44Speaker 3: to my knees and completely wiped out my world that
- 34:47Speaker 3: I thought was so great and I had to start
- 34:49Speaker 3: completely over from scratch, I truly am so so grateful
- 34:56Speaker 3: for those challenges because I am a different woman. I
- 34:59Speaker 3: am a different human being. I'm a different mother, I'm
- 35:01Speaker 3: a different friend, I'm a different business owner because I
- 35:04Speaker 3: was able to get through that and also figure it out,
- 35:07Speaker 3: like I had to figure shit out. That was really
- 35:09Speaker 3: hard and really tough. That up into that point in
- 35:12Speaker 3: my life, I didn't have to figure it out, and
- 35:14Speaker 3: I worked hard, but I didn't have to figure out
- 35:15Speaker 3: really tough shit, and I when shit hit the fan,
- 35:18Speaker 3: I did, and looking back on those times, I'm like,
- 35:21Speaker 3: I would not be where I'm at right now. It
- 35:23Speaker 3: would not be anywhere where I'm at right now without
- 35:26Speaker 3: you know, kind of that the world spinning in front
- 35:29Speaker 3: of me and me falling to the floor. And it's
- 35:32Speaker 3: that resilience that was built that created stronger character, stronger
- 35:36Speaker 3: reserves for me to be able to tackle everything else
- 35:38Speaker 3: that comes in my life. And recently just went through
- 35:40Speaker 3: another personal challenge and I'm like, I got this. Are
- 35:43Speaker 3: you kidding me? Why my armor's so strong? That's what
- 35:46Speaker 3: I said to my friends. I'm like, I've got an
- 35:47Speaker 3: armor on, Like I've got like this, you know, this
- 35:50Speaker 3: shield now because i have went through the hardship and
- 35:54Speaker 3: now I'm like, I'm ready for it.
- 35:55Speaker 2: I'm equipped for it.
- 35:56Speaker 3: Doesn't make it easy, it doesn't mean it didn't hurt,
- 35:59Speaker 3: But I just feel like I'm such a stronger person
- 36:02Speaker 3: to be able to deal with any of that now
- 36:04Speaker 3: because I've learned through it.
- 36:07Speaker 1: Yeah, I love that. I feel like in personal development
- 36:10Speaker 1: and you know, motivational psychology and self help and all
- 36:15Speaker 1: the you know, the legit stuff and kind of the
- 36:18Speaker 1: bullshit stuff, but with a lot of it's very much
- 36:20Speaker 1: focused on all things external, right how do I build
- 36:26Speaker 1: a better business that people can see or brand, or
- 36:28Speaker 1: how do I get more likes or how do I
- 36:31Speaker 1: You know, nothing wrong with creating a better body, of course,
- 36:33Speaker 1: but again, this is something that people can see and
- 36:36Speaker 1: look at my situation, circumstance, environment, house card, job, money, income, brand, profile, qualifications,
- 36:43Speaker 1: all shit that people can see, right, And none of
- 36:45Speaker 1: those things are bad. But for me, it's all the
- 36:49Speaker 1: stuff that people don't see, that inner world of feelings
- 36:53Speaker 1: and love and hate and fear and anxiety and self
- 36:57Speaker 1: doubt and self love and values and beliefs and purpose
- 37:02Speaker 1: and faith and like, this is where living happens in
- 37:06Speaker 1: this internal space, but life happens in the external space.
- 37:10Speaker 1: But we're so externally focused. I think I'm getting a
- 37:14Speaker 1: bit deep. You can tell me to shut up, but
- 37:16Speaker 1: I feel like we try and resolve internal stuff with
- 37:20Speaker 1: external solutions or external achievements decisions down up sidebox.
- 37:26Speaker 3: Yeah, correct, And we are making decisions on those external factors.
- 37:32Speaker 3: We're making decisions on what other people will perceive us
- 37:36Speaker 3: to be, which is wild when you think about it,
- 37:40Speaker 3: I mean it really is. It's it's absolutely wild. Yeah,
- 37:42Speaker 3: And it's not an easy thing to let go of right.
- 37:45Speaker 3: I mean, we're inundated with that in our daily life,
- 37:48Speaker 3: and so it's funny. I just talked to three good
- 37:50Speaker 3: friends today. Three good friends. They're all podcasters, they have
- 37:52Speaker 3: a big following, they're in our industry, and we were
- 37:56Speaker 3: talking about the book launch and how they could support
- 37:58Speaker 3: it just being good friends, and they're all off social
- 38:01Speaker 3: media at the moment, and they had they had made
- 38:04Speaker 3: all three of them, like independently. I was like, WHOA,
- 38:07Speaker 3: what's happening today, And all of them said they had
- 38:10Speaker 3: to make a decision because they felt like it was
- 38:13Speaker 3: really affect those external factors were really affecting their internal choices,
- 38:17Speaker 3: and so very timely on this conversation, and I, you know,
- 38:21Speaker 3: just respected that they had to make that choice. Listen,
- 38:23Speaker 3: I'm not going off forever. And they've built tremendous following,
- 38:25Speaker 3: so they have a lot of value add there and
- 38:28Speaker 3: it's part of their business. But they're like, right now,
- 38:30Speaker 3: this is the decision I need to make in order
- 38:32Speaker 3: to support my internal passions and purpose and.
- 38:35Speaker 2: Like what really fuels me. I need to get back
- 38:37Speaker 2: to that.
- 38:38Speaker 3: And not making decisions based on the likes, the post
- 38:41Speaker 3: the engagement, Like I need to actually do what's more
- 38:44Speaker 3: purposeful for me, and they're hoping that will resonate more
- 38:47Speaker 3: not only with their internal self, but with their eventually
- 38:51Speaker 3: their external audience.
- 38:53Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I think for me it's so nice slack
- 38:59Speaker 1: a financial bank account at times versus our emotional and
- 39:03Speaker 1: spiritual bank account. It's like, what, Okay, I'm making good
- 39:07Speaker 1: dough and I've got lots of stuff. Yeah, well done me.
- 39:10Speaker 1: But you and I both know lots of people with
- 39:12Speaker 1: lots of stuff. I mean, and from the outside mineral yeah, well,
- 39:17Speaker 1: from the outside looking in, it's all Hollywood, it's all
- 39:20Speaker 1: fucking you know, jazz hands. But see that's.
- 39:25Speaker 2: Pretty I love me see them, Greg. That was really good.
- 39:28Speaker 2: Actually it was energy, that was full out. I liked it.
- 39:31Speaker 1: I don't want to I don't want to spoil you,
- 39:34Speaker 1: but yeah, but at the same time, spiritually and emotionally bankrupt.
- 39:39Speaker 1: And I don't mean that in a judgy way, but
- 39:42Speaker 1: you know, I see it. I work with these people.
- 39:44Speaker 1: They tell me, they go, I know that I'm successful
- 39:48Speaker 1: in a sense because the world, the world judges success
- 39:52Speaker 1: on things, not an emotional or psychological state or happiness
- 39:57Speaker 1: or joy or purpose or fulfillment or meaning. Or equanimity
- 40:01Speaker 1: or calm. It's like, yeah, fuck all that, But what
- 40:04Speaker 1: do you drive? How many fund you drive?
- 40:06Speaker 2: What is your house? Look? What are your clothes wearing?
- 40:08Speaker 2: What brands are you wearing? Yes?
- 40:10Speaker 3: Not and also not? What medication are you on? How
- 40:13Speaker 3: many anxiety attacks do you have a day? How are
- 40:15Speaker 3: you You know, it's mind blowing and I don't think
- 40:20Speaker 3: that's going to change anytime soon. So it's really up
- 40:22Speaker 3: to us to understand what our value is, what we
- 40:25Speaker 3: want to feel in terms of value, what is our
- 40:27Speaker 3: definition of it?
- 40:29Speaker 2: You know?
- 40:29Speaker 3: What is your purpose? Is your purpose to show off
- 40:32Speaker 3: and to become somebody that everybody is in awe of?
- 40:34Speaker 3: Or is it to become in awe of yourself? You know,
- 40:37Speaker 3: and to feel really good about who you are and
- 40:38Speaker 3: what you do.
- 40:40Speaker 1: Yeah, not an easy thing. How often do we get
- 40:43Speaker 1: to the top of the mountain and we're like, oh, fuck,
- 40:45Speaker 1: it's the wrong mountain. I think it's that mountain over there,
- 40:47Speaker 1: or you know, get we get the thing we wanted,
- 40:50Speaker 1: and then oh I got the thing I wanted? And
- 40:53Speaker 1: now but how come I still you know? Yeah, I
- 40:56Speaker 1: had had an experience when I was in my early thirties.
- 40:59Speaker 1: I bore you. But I had five different businesses, one
- 41:02Speaker 1: hundred staff, and I was doing great and everyone thought
- 41:05Speaker 1: I was doing great, but I didn't feel great. I
- 41:08Speaker 1: didn't feel great at all, like I was. Yeah, I
- 41:12Speaker 1: was probably the least happy I've ever been in my life.
- 41:15Speaker 1: And I'm not saying it was, you know, causation, but
- 41:19Speaker 1: it was definitely there was a relationship. It was a correlation,
- 41:23Speaker 1: you know. But yeah, so the outside doesn't necessarily or
- 41:26Speaker 1: often reflect the inside. Let's talk about the bloody book.
- 41:30Speaker 1: You don't say bloody book in the States, but we
- 41:32Speaker 1: say the bloody book here.
- 41:33Speaker 3: And you know, I have a lot of old friends,
- 41:35Speaker 3: so yeah, we say bloody book.
- 41:37Speaker 1: Tell us about tell us about your bloody book.
- 41:40Speaker 3: And yeah, well it's teed up perfectly because there really
- 41:43Speaker 3: is a lot of what we just discussed in terms
- 41:45Speaker 3: of how to really optimize your your efforts in your
- 41:50Speaker 3: life and to make take control over what you want
- 41:52Speaker 3: to do and feel and be in this world. And
- 41:55Speaker 3: working with women for so many years as we just
- 41:57Speaker 3: talked about, and everybody seems to come to me with
- 41:59Speaker 3: the same concerns as we talked about, being the therapist
- 42:01Speaker 3: in the fitness studio and what can I do to
- 42:05Speaker 3: lose weight? What can I do to feel better? How
- 42:07Speaker 3: can I be more motivated? So it turned into these
- 42:09Speaker 3: little mini sessions in my volates practice into coaching, into mentoring,
- 42:15Speaker 3: into doing retreats and workshops.
- 42:18Speaker 2: And all this stuff.
- 42:18Speaker 3: And finally I was like, all right, I'm going to
- 42:20Speaker 3: just put it into a book. I'm going to put
- 42:21Speaker 3: the things down that are these things that have worked
- 42:23Speaker 3: for me and a lot of my clients. They're everyday
- 42:25Speaker 3: things that you can do. They're simple, easy, less than
- 42:28Speaker 3: thirty minutes a day. It adds up to that make
- 42:30Speaker 3: a difference, and they've made a difference in my life
- 42:32Speaker 3: and so many women that I've worked with. So let's
- 42:34Speaker 3: put it down and hopefully it makes a dent in
- 42:37Speaker 3: someone else's life and makes an impact. So essentially seven
- 42:40Speaker 3: daily practices that I do. Again, nothing's rocket science, Craig.
- 42:43Speaker 3: These are things that you probably have done or at
- 42:46Speaker 3: some point in your life, or you've heard of, or
- 42:48Speaker 3: it's you know, it's nothing crazy, But when you optimize
- 42:52Speaker 3: it and you're intentional with it and you execute, you
- 42:56Speaker 3: will feel like an completely different person at the end
- 42:59Speaker 3: of it. So it's really about finding the habit formation
- 43:04Speaker 3: and leaning into the power of consistency.
- 43:07Speaker 1: So the book is called Small Moves, Big Life. Seven
- 43:10Speaker 1: daily practices to supercharge your energy, productivity, and happiness. And
- 43:17Speaker 1: is it is it vailable in an audio or will
- 43:19Speaker 1: it be? Or yeah, oh it is already.
- 43:22Speaker 2: I just finished recording.
- 43:23Speaker 3: Not yet, it'll it launches October fourteenth, and the audiobook
- 43:26Speaker 3: will launch it at the same time. So yeah, just
- 43:28Speaker 3: finished recording that. That was a fun That was fun.
- 43:31Speaker 1: All right, So so good to talk to you. You're
- 43:34Speaker 1: pretty bloody good at what you do. I've got a
- 43:36Speaker 1: couple of are you ready for one or two curly
- 43:39Speaker 1: questions as we wind up, I like it, all right,
- 43:43Speaker 1: tell me something you need to get better at.
- 43:46Speaker 2: Patience?
- 43:46Speaker 3: Immediate answer patience because I because I am someone that
- 43:50Speaker 3: attacks everything very quickly. I have an idea, Craig, and
- 43:53Speaker 3: I'm like, let's go, let's trademarket, let's figure out how
- 43:57Speaker 3: to do it, let's contact the right people, and I
- 43:58Speaker 3: just move. And sometimes that has kicked my ass because
- 44:02Speaker 3: I've jumped before. I actually had a real strong foundation
- 44:05Speaker 3: to jump from, and I've learned a lot of lessons
- 44:08Speaker 3: from that. But I continue to be challenged in that
- 44:11Speaker 3: I need to learn how to sometimes slow down, assess
- 44:13Speaker 3: the situation, calm down a little bit, and then take action.
- 44:16Speaker 3: I'm someone that just moves very very quickly and sometimes
- 44:20Speaker 3: too abruptly. So got to get better patients.
- 44:24Speaker 1: Something that you thank you good answer, Something that you
- 44:27Speaker 1: have had to unlearn, Like something that you thought was true,
- 44:33Speaker 1: that you maybe even preached or practiced and you've since done,
- 44:37Speaker 1: if not a one eighty, a one forty, Like for me,
- 44:42Speaker 1: there's been fucking fifty things, but something that yeah, you
- 44:45Speaker 1: had to let go of or you realize you might
- 44:47Speaker 1: have got wrong.
- 44:48Speaker 3: First thing that comes to mind is more is not more.
- 44:52Speaker 3: And I say that in respect to franchise growth. So
- 44:55Speaker 3: as I was growing the business, again lean into your
- 44:58Speaker 3: first question and patience, I just jumped right in and
- 45:00Speaker 3: I found the best franchise attorney. I surrounded myself with
- 45:03Speaker 3: the best people in the business and just starting to
- 45:05Speaker 3: go out of the gate. And I wasn't quite there yet, right.
- 45:08Speaker 3: I had no idea. I was so green and had
- 45:10Speaker 3: no idea what franchising meant and the infrastructure that was
- 45:13Speaker 3: required to properly support the studios, and so there were
- 45:17Speaker 3: a lot of lessons learned and so would I tell
- 45:19Speaker 3: people now when people are trying to either a franchise
- 45:22Speaker 3: license or just build their business beyond their single brick
- 45:25Speaker 3: and mortar, is like, just lean in to the small.
- 45:28Speaker 3: Really master your market and that specific niche that you're in,
- 45:32Speaker 3: whether it's from that local bakery or whether it's an online,
- 45:36Speaker 3: you know, retail store that you have before you think
- 45:39Speaker 3: you have to expand, because expansion does not mean revenue increase.
- 45:43Speaker 3: It means a lot of work that comes with it.
- 45:44Speaker 3: And as you mentioned right with your multiple different businesses,
- 45:48Speaker 3: sometimes more is not more. And so I've had to
- 45:50Speaker 3: kind of undo that lesson in life in general and
- 45:53Speaker 3: start focusing on you know, sometimes you just need to
- 45:55Speaker 3: scale back and that is enough.
- 45:58Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Okay, the next question, you're going good, I'm
- 46:02Speaker 1: giving you a I'm giving you a high distinction. At
- 46:05Speaker 1: the moment, I need to give you a thirty second
- 46:10Speaker 1: synopsis of my PhD. My PhD is about a thing
- 46:14Speaker 1: called metaperception and meta accuracy, which is your ability Andrea
- 46:20Speaker 1: to understand the Andrea experience for others. So, in other words,
- 46:26Speaker 1: what's it like being around me? So I have to
- 46:29Speaker 1: be quite aware of that because sometimes people go well,
- 46:31Speaker 1: you're a bit intimidating. Sometimes people go, I love your stuff,
- 46:35Speaker 1: but you swear too much or whatever, right, And some
- 46:38Speaker 1: people go, you're great, I love you. Some people go,
- 46:41Speaker 1: you're a dick ed fuck off. Right, So all of that, yeah, yeah, yeah,
- 46:44Speaker 1: the whole But what do you think? What do you
- 46:48Speaker 1: think it's like being around you? How do you think
- 46:52Speaker 1: people perceive you? Now this is coming from self awareness,
- 46:56Speaker 1: not self loathing. But what do you think the Andrea
- 46:59Speaker 1: experience is? Luck?
- 47:01Speaker 3: Yeah, self awareness one of the most important traits I
- 47:05Speaker 3: believe in terms of finding my connection with human beings
- 47:09Speaker 3: or do you have self awareness? And sometimes it's on
- 47:12Speaker 3: and sometimes it's off. I would say from my perspective
- 47:15Speaker 3: being around me, I feel like the word that comes
- 47:18Speaker 3: to mind is energy. So I feel like I give off.
- 47:23Speaker 3: I give a lot to other people in terms of energy,
- 47:26Speaker 3: and hopefully that translates into absorption of my energy. And
- 47:33Speaker 3: it's not always It's not like this toxic positivity. I'm
- 47:36Speaker 3: not that type of person. But I am energized. I'm
- 47:38Speaker 3: energized whatever it is I'm working towards, I'm energized. If
- 47:41Speaker 3: I'm having a conversation with you, I'm really energized by it,
- 47:45Speaker 3: and I'm energized by life and the opportunities in life.
- 47:48Speaker 3: So again, similar to your story, wasn't the most talented,
- 47:52Speaker 3: and everything I did had some innate talent there, but
- 47:55Speaker 3: I had to work really hard at it, and I
- 47:57Speaker 3: was energized by the opportunity. And so my lafers to
- 48:00Speaker 3: try to energize as many individuals as possible to be
- 48:04Speaker 3: excited about their opportunities.
- 48:07Speaker 1: Yeah, I love it all, right, last one, So we're
- 48:09Speaker 1: going to do a little co kind of thought experiments.
- 48:14Speaker 1: So one of the things that I talk about with
- 48:17Speaker 1: groups is amongst a bunch of other stuff, but we go,
- 48:20Speaker 1: let's talk about the skills, qualities, attributes, habits, and behaviors
- 48:24Speaker 1: of high performers. And by that I mean I don't
- 48:27Speaker 1: mean olympians and astronauts and people curing cancer. I just
- 48:32Speaker 1: mean anyone like you who obviously you're talented, but you've
- 48:37Speaker 1: really got a lot out of what you've got to
- 48:40Speaker 1: work with. Right, So, like, my favorite high performer is
- 48:43Speaker 1: my mum, who's eighty five and had cancer three times,
- 48:46Speaker 1: got the best attitude in the world, Right, She's my favorite. Right,
- 48:50Speaker 1: So I'm going to give a few like what I
- 48:53Speaker 1: think are really important skills, attributes, habits, or behaviors of
- 48:58Speaker 1: high performers. So Number one for me is our willingness
- 49:01Speaker 1: to do hardship or deal with discomfort right, which is
- 49:05Speaker 1: a no brainer. Number two would be having an understanding
- 49:12Speaker 1: of what success is for us, not what the world
- 49:16Speaker 1: says or mom and dad want, or not what culture
- 49:19Speaker 1: or social media says, but truly understanding what success means
- 49:24Speaker 1: for us. And it probably tags into my third one,
- 49:28Speaker 1: which is knowing, truly knowing what your values are so
- 49:31Speaker 1: that you can build a life around those values. And
- 49:34Speaker 1: when you know your values, that makes all your decisions easy,
- 49:38Speaker 1: well not easy, but clear. Like I've spoken about this
- 49:42Speaker 1: too many times on this show, but it seems at
- 49:45Speaker 1: the moment every ten sponsorship opportunities I get on this show,
- 49:51Speaker 1: and I might say that Nova, who's kind of my boss.
- 49:54Speaker 1: They're not thrilled with me, but I have to say
- 49:56Speaker 1: no because it's shit that I can't sell and that
- 49:59Speaker 1: I wouldn't not use and I would not tell other
- 50:01Speaker 1: people to use. Doesn't mean it's a terrible thing. It's
- 50:04Speaker 1: just that I don't want to sell. So values, so success,
- 50:08Speaker 1: dealing with discomfort knowing what values. What might you add
- 50:12Speaker 1: to that list in terms of what's really important to
- 50:15Speaker 1: have or be or know to get the most out
- 50:18Speaker 1: of you.
- 50:19Speaker 2: Yeah, well you took most of mine, but the value
- 50:22Speaker 2: let me.
- 50:22Speaker 1: Talk about that on purpose. And I like that.
- 50:27Speaker 2: Well, you know I mentioned to you earlier.
- 50:29Speaker 3: With my daughters, I want them to be kind and courageous, right,
- 50:32Speaker 3: and I want them to be a strong character. You know,
- 50:35Speaker 3: I grew up in a Midwestern house with I say
- 50:39Speaker 3: I won the lottery. With my parents, Craig, they were
- 50:41Speaker 3: not only there to support my dreams. They kept me humble.
- 50:45Speaker 3: They put my feet on the ground. My dad was
- 50:47Speaker 3: the kind of guy that would drop everything to take
- 50:49Speaker 3: me to an audition. My mother was there sewing my
- 50:51Speaker 3: dance costumes. But they my mom would always also say like, oh,
- 50:55Speaker 3: I trained you to know right from wrong like you
- 50:57Speaker 3: trained me. She's like, yeah, I wanted you to have
- 50:59Speaker 3: a very strong moral compass. And the decisions that I've
- 51:03Speaker 3: made in my life, some more challenging others, are based
- 51:08Speaker 3: on my moral compass. And because I know who I
- 51:10Speaker 3: am and I know what sits well with me and
- 51:12Speaker 3: my heart and the kind of individual I want to be,
- 51:15Speaker 3: it helps me to make strong decisions, whether it's in
- 51:17Speaker 3: my personal life or my professional life, and that, to me,
- 51:21Speaker 3: has been a very strong indicator of where I go,
- 51:24Speaker 3: how I move, how I operate, who I work with,
- 51:28Speaker 3: who I surround myself with. That is my goal, you know, right,
- 51:31Speaker 3: So I really work from that moral compass. So if
- 51:34Speaker 3: you listen to your own moral compass and you can
- 51:37Speaker 3: lean into that, I think that's where a lot of
- 51:39Speaker 3: power is in finding that alignment of what does and
- 51:42Speaker 3: does not work with that compass and where it leads you.
- 51:47Speaker 2: That to me is a powerful tool.
- 51:50Speaker 1: Wow. So I appreciate you super good. The book is
- 51:53Speaker 1: called Small Moves, Big Live. Seven daily practices to superchage
- 51:57Speaker 1: your energy, productivity, and happiness. And I just put on
- 51:59Speaker 1: my radio voice. You're very welcome out now in all
- 52:04Speaker 1: good bookstores and shit ones. And it's it's available on
- 52:09Speaker 1: audio on audible. It's going to be on audio audible.
- 52:14Speaker 3: I'm not sure where it's landing with the audio, so
- 52:16Speaker 3: we'll have to see.
- 52:17Speaker 1: Okay, so the audio is out there somewhere, so just
- 52:20Speaker 1: have a little bit of a scooch around. We'll say
- 52:22Speaker 1: goodbye off air. But Andrea, thanks for Commen's play on
- 52:26Speaker 1: the You project. Really enjoyed meeting you and thanks for
- 52:30Speaker 1: connecting with our audience. I love you.
- 52:33Speaker 2: You were fantastic, Craig. I love this conversation. Thank you.