Latest / UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth / EP 56 - When You Feel Rejected by God (Finding Your Way Back)

Transcript

EP 56 - When You Feel Rejected by God (Finding Your Way Back) · UNMASKED with Wesley Farnsworth

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What happens when you believe you've gone too far for God to
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want you back? When divorce, failure, and
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spiritual confusion convinced you that you've been
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disqualified not just from ministry, but from belonging at
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all? Today's guest spent years
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believing that he had been rejected by God only just only
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to discover that what felt like disqualification was actually
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the beginning of restoration. This is a conversation about
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being spiritually outside, learning discernment without
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fear, and discovering what real revival looks like after deep
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disillusionment. Welcome to Unmasked, where we
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take off the filters and get real about faith, failure, and
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finding freedom. I'm your host, Wesley
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Farnsworth, a dad, veteran, author, and a man who's learned
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that God does his best work in the middle of our mess.
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Each episode will have honest conversations with people who've
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walked through addiction, pain, or doubt, and with pastors,
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leaders, and everyday believers who are learning to live and
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lead authentically. So take a breath, pull up a
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chair, and let's get real. This is Unmasked.
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Today on Unmasked, I am joined by Mike Freezer.
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Mike came to faith at a young age and spent decades growing,
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serving, and teaching the Word of God.
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But like many believers, his journey wasn't linear.
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After divorce and years of spiritual struggle, Mike found
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himself in a season where he believed that God had rejected
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him, even believing whether he still belonged in faith at all.
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What followed was not a dramatic overnight turn around, but a
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long process of discernment, correction, and truth replacing
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fear. Mike describes it as a season
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where false beliefs were stripped away, clarity replaced
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confusion, and revival became something lived, not proclaimed.
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This episode is not about hype or formulas.
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It's about God's faithfulness in the wilderness and what it means
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to rediscover your force and what it means to rediscover your
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first love after thinking that you have lost it forever.
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Mike, I'm so glad to have you here with us today on Unmasked.
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And just thank you so much for coming on and trusting us with
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your story. Well, thank you, Wesley, for
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that great introduction and thorough coverage of basically
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where where I've had some issues in my life that needed to be
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addressed and God is faithful all the time.
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All the time, indeed. Yeah.
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Well, Mike, instead of starting with theology and teaching, I
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would love for you to take us back to the season where you
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felt spiritually outside the moment that you believed you
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might be disqualified from God altogether.
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What was that season like and what led you there?
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Well, I guess I'm going to start with I, since it was mentioned
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that there's, you know, I, I suffered a divorce, but I, I got
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to start where, what, what led up to that?
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And I'm talking about a subject that I haven't really think I've
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heard anybody else talk about. It's talked about in Scripture,
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but it's talked about the lukewarm church in Revelation
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chapter 3. And God talks about the lukewarm
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church is making him sick. And therefore he said, I will
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spit you out of my mouth unless you repent.
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And I think I experienced 8 years of being spit from the
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mouth of God and I'm not going to labor that because there's
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nothing to tell about when I was spit from the mouth of God.
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I, I didn't read, I couldn't read my Bible and I couldn't
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pray. And it had to do, I think with
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the issues that were between business failure and debt and
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the stress that it brought upon my marriage.
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And because I couldn't figure this out, because God was trying
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to teach me something. And I'm not a intellectually
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strong person at all. I, I don't have, I'm not good
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with words. You know, I don't want to speak
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before people about issues of politics and stuff, although we
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need people like that. But I have been taught by God to
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speak about his word. And So what he taught me after
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this eight years ended, because this eight years ended in
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divorce. And I, I, my wife and I, we were
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both got married. We never intended on divorce,
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but because of issues that were just boiling in our life, that
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was just, we couldn't find spiritual answers.
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And I, I, we sought counseling. I thought it sought to Lord, but
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there was just issues in our life we couldn't get figured
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out. And so it ended in divorce.
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And that's when I say after I was divorced, I thought I was a
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reprobate. And that's a pretty strong term,
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you know, for being a reprobate before God.
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And so I thought, I'm just going to do what I can to get my
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spiritual life back on track and just live the rest of my life.
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Is the recovering repro beat, I guess.
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So does that place you with an understanding of where, where
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where this issue started? Absolutely.
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OK, well then I guess this is the real joy of my life that it
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is time to talk about now. After divorce, I knew I needed
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to do something to regain my spiritual life and my wife and I
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both suffered from it. But so I I got myself in a new
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place to live and I went to the Christian bookstore and bought
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myself a brand new Bible. I knew American Standard Bible.
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That's the that's the translation I like and read.
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And I've been reading for 40 years, although I was eight
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years that I didn't read it because it wasn't meaning
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anything. And so I thought, well, I'm
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going to read the Bible in one year, which I'd never done
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before. And I thought, well, as I read,
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I'm going to write underline something in every chapter that
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is of importance. So I did that.
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So I one year. So this is 2006 to 2007.
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So in 2007 I said to Lord, I said, now what I'm going to do,
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Lord, I don't think I'm going to read the Bible again.
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There's got to be something more to this regaining my spiritual
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life and living, living the life of a recovered reprobate.
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So I thought he said to me, well, what about memorizing my
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word? And I, I recalled how I was a
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part of Bible Memorization Association and I had to
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memorize 7 scripture verses a week.
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And I did it and I, I found out that was pretty intriguing, you
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know, dedicating such time every week to these verses.
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But it was like a flash in a pan.
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But I, but I realized there was something unique about that
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memorizing Scripture. So I thought I'd say, well,
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Lord, what, what am I going to memorize and where am I going to
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start? I got your whole, I got your
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whole Bible for some unknown reason.
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I, he said to me, why don't you start in Psalm 19?
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So I went to Psalm 19 and I took and divided it into 33 sections.
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And so I took a a month to memorize the first section, the
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1st 6 verses, then another section, then another section.
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So in three months time I had Psalm 19 memorized and I and I
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knew it frontwards and backwards.
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I knew any section I could start with and go backwards or
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frontwards. I just knew it.
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Well this is pretty neat. I was surprised that I could
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memorize so but but but it took that occasion and it was three
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months of memorization so that well, now where do you want me
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to go, Lord and he said to me, well, remember how you used to
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always use a Psalm 13923 and 24 Search me, O God, and know my
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heart, try me and know my thoughts and see if there'd be
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any anxious weigh in me or hurtful weigh in me and leave me
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in the way everlasting. He said, what about the other 22
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verses that are in front of 23 and 24?
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One Psalm 139. That's alright.
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Sounds like a good place to go search.
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You have searched me and you know.
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You know when I sit down and when I rise up.
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You understand my thoughts from afar.
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You scrutinize my path and my lying down and are intimately
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acquainted with all my ways even before there is a word on my
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tongue. Behold, O Lord, you know it all.
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You have enclosed me behind and before and laid Your hand upon
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me. This knowledge is so wonderful.
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It is high. I cannot attain to it.
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So that was the start of Psalm 139.
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So after I took 3, three months to learn Psalm 139 and also
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refresh myself on Psalm 19, something majestic was
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happening, something sovereign was happening that I never
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experienced before. I was hearing the Word of God in
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ways I'd never heard it before. I was not just reading it
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anymore and I was just not memorizing it because to
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memorize it I had to meditate on it.
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And meditation did something that God says is the way to do
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it because he that's what he told Joshua.
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When Joshua was taken back to promised land, he said, you
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shall meditate upon my word day and night.
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He said, this book of the law shall not depart from your
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mouth, but you shall meditate on day and night.
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I used to always ask myself, what's it mean, Lord, that the
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book of law shall not depart from your mouth?
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So since then he said, well, you always need to have some portion
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of the word of God in your mouth, chewing on it, you know.
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And so that's what this memorization did.
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I always had a portion in front of me working on it and thinking
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about it and memorizing it and recalling it and, and you know,
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I would, I would carry it with me.
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I put it on note cards and write it out on, you know, notebook
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paper and stuff or type it out. And this is what I did.
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And it, it just totally transformed my life.
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So I learned the value of meditation and that's what
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turned my life upside down since then and revived me.
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So it's going on 19 years now since 2007 when I started the
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memorization. 2006 to 2007 was reading the Word of God. 2007
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told the present. I'm remembering and meditating
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upon the word of God. So I think there's no substitute
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for meditation. It definitely helps you
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internalize scripture in a way that you you hadn't before when
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you're able to sit and meditate and reflect on the scripture and
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kind of figure out how it applies to your life.
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Well, the, the, the, the, I, you know, like we, we know, we know
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the value of compounding interest.
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And you know, they say if you put $50.00 in, in your, in your
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bank account a month, then by the time you're 20 or 30 or
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something, you'll have $1,000,000.
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Well, that's the value of compounding interest.
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Well, I think memorizing and meditating upon the word of God,
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it does the same thing. It compounds the word of God.
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And because you've got these these things and you can't
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remember everything you remember, you're going to free
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up portions, but you're going to know where it's at and you're
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going to remember bits and pieces of it.
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You're going to remember words. And so I only use one
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translation for my memorization because I trust the people who
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did the translation, but they've always translated the same
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words, you know, the, the same Greek and Hebrew words the same
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way into English. And so I, where have I heard
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that before? Where have I heard this phrase
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before? And so because of my, my, my
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memories compounded with, with memorizing things, I, I start
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comparing scripture with Scripture better and I'm hearing
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stories and, and things. And it just has increased my
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faith because faith comes by hearing and hearing by the word
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of God or by the word of Christ. So it's memorization.
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I just can't say anything better, anything better about
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it. So it's, you know, we think we
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know where there's people that memorize word and, and, and some
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to it's, it's a thing. But, but, but I, I take time to
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spend a lot of spend the time on it.
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So I know it frontwards and backwards and I, I can just not
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move on. And I got this done this, you
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know, but I, but I spend time in it.
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I remember when I was first into this, it, it was, it was Lent,
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Lent coming up. There's 40 days of Lent, you
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know, with some people talk about and is in some circles of
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our faith. And I thought, well, I don't
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usually do, I don't usually do anything for land, but I'm going
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to do something this year. What's forty days before the
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resurrection Sunday day? But what am I?
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What am I going to? What am I going to work on?
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So I ended up going to Psalm 40 and I thought, I want to have
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this memorized in these 40 days. And I worked on it hard And I, I
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had Psalm 40 memorized, but I fell so in love with this Psalm
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40I. I I kept working on it and
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recalling it and and rehearsing in my mind when when I was on
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the road or when I was going through the day for a whole
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year, although I was memorizing other things, but it just stuck
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with me so well. You know how how does I'm having
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a mind block now? I waited patiently for the Lord
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and he inclined to me and heard my cry.
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He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry
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clay, and he set my feet upon a rock, making my footsteps firm.
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That's like Psalm 41 verses one and two.
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And, and, and this thing of being, you know, the, the misery
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I went through of divorce and, and, and hating it, you know,
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and wanting to come back to the Lord, I was now coming out of
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the pit of destruction out of the miry clay.
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And here again, you know, since this, this phrase, miry clay has
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stuck in my mind, but I have never experienced what miry clay
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is really like until about, about about two months ago.
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And I'll, I'll tell you the story.
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I, I, my wife and I spent 70 years, the wife I now have, we,
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we, we grew up in Pennsylvania. We spent 70 years in
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Pennsylvania. In May of this year of, of, of
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2025, we moved to Tennessee. Well, the soil is different down
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here in Tennessee. They got Myeri clay in
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Tennessee. So my profession is I'm a truck
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driver. And so when I got down here, I
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started driving Tri axle jump truck.
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Well, we were on a job site and this is how deceptive myri clay
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can be too. And we were on a job site and we
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were hauling dirt from one portion of the job site to the
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other. It was on site hauling and one
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of our other drivers, he got a load, took it over and backed up
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in his myri clay. But it was solid and looked
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smooth and he backed on it dumped his load.
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Then I went and backed up on it. But it but it had rained and so
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it was a little moisture on it and I couldn't get backed up.
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I was spinning. And so I thought, well, I said,
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I said to the guys, alright, I'll get a better more running
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shot and I'll get up this time. Well, I couldn't even get up as
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far that time, but it so it was just slick.
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And so I pulled back out. But on the way out, pulling back
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out the wheels of just one axle, a truck dropped in this miry
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clay. I was stuck just like that.
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It, it was, it was a, an illusion that everything was all
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right. But this miry clay changed.
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You know, we, we, we, we 1 driver had already backed across
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and dumped. And I, I thought it looked fine,
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it was just slippery. But it collapsed.
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And so the miry clay literally sucked these wheels in and, and,
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and molded other stuff around them and it was trapped.
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And I, and I, I, I was surprised that I got out to check my front
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tires to make sure that they aren't sunken to miry clay.
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And they weren't. It was just one set of tires.
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And I, I, I, I, I ruined the transmission thinking I was
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going to get that walk, that truck out of there.
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So this is, this is how powerful miry clay is.
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And I think This is why God used that phrase miry clay.
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It, it is really entrapping. But because of his love, you
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know, I waited patiently for the Lord.
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He inclined to me and heard my cry.
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He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry
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clay. That's exactly what he did.
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You know, I thought it was a reprobate.
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And this, this is almost two years now and into memorizing
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the scripture. You know, our good year and a
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half. And now now I, I, I hear it is,
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you know, over a decade and a half later, you know, 15 years
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later, since, since I learned about Marie Clay that I really
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experienced what Marie Clay is. And you think about how entrap
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people become sometimes because they get into something, it just
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looks a little slippery, you know, it, it looks pretty safe.
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And then the longer you stay in it, the next thing you know,
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you're you're stuck so bad. But God is able to rescue you
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for he rescued us from the domain of darkness and
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transferred us to the Kingdom of his beloved son, in whom we have
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redemption, the forgiveness of sins.
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It's just that simple that when you, when you turn to him and
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let him speak to you in his word, you know, and there were,
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there were people that came alongside me too.
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And of course, I, I, of course, when, when I was going through
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this issue, I, I, I, I stopped going to church, you know,
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because it wasn't making any sense anymore.
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I was like angry because I couldn't hear what, what, what
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was being said anymore. It's the strangest thing I ever
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had in my life. And I haven't really talked
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about it too much. But since these things are
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developing, it's it's an issue to talk about it briefly because
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that there ain't nothing nothing good to say about it.
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I just know that it happened and I know what God has taught me.
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And I would have never asked to go through this to learn what I
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learned. It would have been sinful for me
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to ask, ask me to go through the trial such as that to learn what
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I've learned. But but God is faithful.
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I don't know many, I don't know many people that have gone
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through trials and especially stuff like divorce that would
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say, yeah, let me do that again because that's.
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Not something fun to go through. Put me through divorce.
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What's why You learn what it's about and learn how learn how to
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overcome it. Well, no.
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MM You've said that there was a time that you believed that God
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had spit you out. Yes.
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What made that belief feel so true to you at that time?
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Well, I guess it's because now you see, while I was spit, I
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didn't, I didn't say I feel like I'm spit for the mouth of God.
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I didn't say that at all. I just knew something.
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There was issues in, in, in life and, and in business and, and,
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and because we were in debt, you know, and, and I hated being in
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debt, you know, and, and, and I was in debt because I didn't
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know how to handle money good. You know, there, there was a
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conclusion that came, came about and in, in, in a situation that
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my wife and I were trying to solve these issues.
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And I just realized the truth of how, how unprepared I was to
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handle the situation that we, we, we were involved with.
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And I, I, I just felt like I was spit from the mouth of God at
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that time. And, and, and my, my life just
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changed because I was into physical exercise.
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I, I lost my desire to exercise and stay in shape.
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My, my life just changed at that time.
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So I, I know where I was at when I was spit from the mouth of
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God. Something happened that just
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brought this reality to me that I don't understand my Christian
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life like I thought I did and, and, and what God was using me
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for. And so I know where I was at
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when I was spit from the mouth of God.
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And, and, and it's only because I reflect back on it.
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I, I didn't say it then, you know, and I hadn't said it for,
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well, you know, for a long time. But as I've analyzed it and, and
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I, I say this now because of my meditation on the word of God,
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and I got into Revelation and read about the, the seven
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churches in Revelation and the things they went to.
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And, and I didn't know what it was like to what, what it is.
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What is it to be lukewarm or what is it to be hot?
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What is it to be cold, You know, and I, I think we've become hot
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when we're really mature in the Lord and understand how to
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accurately handle the word of God.
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I think that's what what being hot is, you know?
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You know, there's, I'm sure there's several people out there
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that are listening that have been through it, or maybe
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they're in the midst of it now. And so now that you you're
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outside of it and you you've had some time to be able to reflect
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on it, how do you think that divorce impacted your
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understanding of God's love and acceptance, especially in that
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point in time in your life when your world seemed to be going
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just being flipped upside down? I have to say how God had
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prepared me for a lot of things that can happen in life because
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previous to this, these issues coming into our life of, of me
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and my wife and ending in divorce.
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I was a Sunday school teacher and I, I, I, I enjoyed teaching
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Sunday school and, and now we, I taught this one class.
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Well, I, I taught this one series.
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It was called from creation to Christ firm foundations and I, I
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learned that, but when you start it with creation and go through
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all the major instances that happened, the Bibles of Christ,
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you just always seeing every time Israel messed up, every
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time he turned a page, God is doing it again.
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He's rescuing Israel. And so I was learning firm
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foundations that God is always on your side, but but when you
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you don't know how to incorporate him into your
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thoughts because of your lack of knowledge of the of his word or
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whatever, you're going to get yourself in trouble.
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And for whatever the reason, Israel was disobedient, God
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chastened him, you know, and, and but then again, he was he
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was rescued him against, you know, turning the page.
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And so I, I, that's, that's what kept me the foundation that I
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had, you know, after life was upside down, that it was what I,
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what I knew. And so many times if, if things
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are going wrong in your marriage or, or whatever, hang on to some
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of the strong foundational truths you've learned, you know,
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in, in the word of God and how, how to take time to, to look at
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his word and see how it speaks to you, because the word of God
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is, is him speaking to us. I was just talking to my
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youngest son today. You know, it's God, God, God
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made words, you know, and he put all these words in in a book
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called the Bible. And it's the order that they're
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in. It's a dialogue that he creates
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with that. We understand these words as the
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word of God, but the dialogue and and the truth is there.
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And so that's what really rescues anybody from the domain
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of darkness. You know, Christ has paid the
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penalty for our sins. But if we don't know how to deal
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with issues and that are emotional or spiritual or or or
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physical, you know, we're, we're, we're going to be out of
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balance. So that's, you know, there,
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there's hope. There's always hope for for a
25:31
marriage being rescued and saved.
25:35
You know, when, when, when you're going through things,
25:37
whether it be divorce or addiction or, or whatever it is,
25:43
you know, the enemy, That's when he's like, he's coming at you
25:47
full on like he's, there's lies coming at you left and right
25:51
that it's very easy. And for many of us, we will, we
25:55
tend to believe because of the, just the, the mindset that we're
26:00
in at that in that season of our life.
26:03
And so when you think back to that, what were some of the lies
26:08
that you tended to believe and that you had to unlearn now in
26:15
the years since everything happened?
26:18
I, I guess what, why were we dealing with such issues as debt
26:23
and, and misunderstanding in our marriage and not being able to
26:26
handle the, the issues that were upon us with the pressures, you
26:30
know, of, of, of debt and, and so on and so forth.
26:33
And the disagreements that we had with how to handle it.
26:37
That that's, that's what bothered me the most, I guess,
26:43
as we saw at council that the, the, the church didn't seem to
26:46
have any direction, you know, and, and so I, I was
26:50
disappointed and, and then of course, the, the, the thought of
26:58
getting divorced, you know, and then remarried, you know, I, I,
27:00
I realized that if, if you get divorced, the scripture kind of
27:04
clearly says that you're committing adultery.
27:06
And, and I thought, well, if that's so that you're, you're,
27:09
you're committing a, a continual sin, if that's, if that's the
27:13
way to determine it, I don't know whether it is or not, but
27:16
it, but, but if, if it is it, it shows me that there's continual
27:21
forgiveness. You know, if, if, if I, I
27:24
thought was my, because the church I went to said you, you,
27:27
you can't serve here if you're divorced.
27:30
So that's, that's one of the reasons why I thought it was a
27:32
reprobate because the church said you're not going to be able
27:34
to serve any. Well, I love serving in the
27:36
church and in the congregation and ministering to people.
27:40
And so I, I, I thought my, my, my church flight was over.
27:45
And so I, I didn't, you know, I, I, I eventually, when I moved, I
27:49
did start going to church again and started trying to find my
27:52
place in a church circle and, and so on and so forth.
27:55
But the thing that really brought me to life, and this is
27:59
what I think is going to bring anybody to life, is the value of
28:03
personal devotions. And you you don't need I'm not
28:07
telling you you need to memorize scripture, meditate upon the
28:12
word of God like I do. You don't really know how I do,
28:15
but I but I'm pretty adamant about it and some portion or
28:18
some way. That's why Christ told us, you
28:20
know, give us this day Our Daily Bread.
28:23
We need we need spiritual food daily.
28:26
Don't we need physical food daily yes.
28:29
So he here he is God using a practical application for our
28:34
spiritual needs. You know, we, we have need a
28:37
food every day. We need water every day.
28:39
And of course, water is representative of, of the Holy
28:41
Spirit, you know, and, and the spirit of life and, and, and
28:45
the, and the value that water has.
28:47
So again and again, God just uses his creation to continually
28:53
show us that he is practically infinite.
28:58
He he shows us his practicality. He shows us his Infinity in
29:03
practical ways is what I mean, and that's that's a slogan of
29:08
the church I'm a part of now and or that's that's the that's the
29:12
motto. Our slogan is obedience will
29:15
appear when the word of God we hear and that that's what
29:20
changed my life and that's what changes anybody's life.
29:23
You know, as I was in, you know what, growing up, you know, you
29:28
get off in the wrong track, you know, and you get into, you
29:30
know, you're sowing your route wild oats and which isn't really
29:33
pleasing before God or the the lifestyle that might be
29:38
challenging. Well, God brought me out of that
29:40
too, because I started hearing the word of God and it, and it
29:44
changed my way of thinking, my understanding of his love and,
29:48
and the love that that my, my fellow believers had for me too,
29:53
because you're, you know, like you're going down the wrong
29:54
path. You know, you're, you're going
29:57
to have obstacles that you're not going to be able to get
29:59
around or, or I guess one of the things that I, I, I end up
30:03
fearing it was God was going to chase, chasing me.
30:05
And he was so good at that. Just never know, you know, when
30:10
you're walking the wrong path, how he's going to chase me and
30:12
next. And, and, and I, and I had a
30:15
fear of being my love, losing my life.
30:18
You know, when I'm in my young, my young 20s, you know, because
30:21
I, I knew, I knew people that had, you know, in my, in my life
30:24
that had lost your life at a young age.
30:27
But God spared me. And here I am today telling of
30:32
his great love. Discover your first.
30:35
Yeah. Praise God for that.
30:37
Yeah. And I love that you didn't let
30:39
something like that, you know, something like the divorce keep
30:42
you down. Because I think that's something
30:44
that, you know, I the show's called unmasked.
30:47
And I say, I say on this Showtime and time again that the
30:51
reason it's called unmasked is because when we go through
30:54
things in life, we need to take off the mask that we tend to
30:59
wear, say where we're where we say we're fine when we're really
31:03
not. And we need to realize that,
31:06
yeah, we've been through something, but that something
31:09
doesn't have to define us and define our lives moving forward,
31:12
right? We're only defined by who we say
31:14
are we are, and more importantly, who God says we
31:17
are. And that is that we are his
31:19
child and that he loves us and he forgives us and we have his
31:22
grace and his mercy. But when you go through things
31:26
like divorce or you go through things like addiction or, or, or
31:31
deep loss or, or whatever it is, it's really easy to let those
31:35
things kind of define us. And then as a result, we, we let
31:40
them disqualify us from feeling like we can move forward,
31:46
feeling like we can continue to even serve God.
31:49
You know, like you said, you love to serve in church, you
31:52
love to, to do those types of things.
31:54
And I, there are churches out there that would say, yeah,
31:58
that's it. This disqualifies you and I, but
32:01
I love that you didn't let it disqualify you and you're still
32:04
being able to. You're still choosing to to
32:09
follow Christ and serve him and let the things that you've gone
32:16
through instead of disqualify you, now qualify you for
32:22
reaching people in ways that maybe the the night person
32:26
standing next to you wouldn't be able to because now you can
32:29
relate with them on a different level.
32:32
Well, you know, as we face these issues in our life, I, I think
32:37
God, you, you know, as we learn from his word how to, how to
32:41
find strength and, and overcome the obstacles that are in our
32:46
life. And we're not going to get out
32:48
of this world without obstacles because we're living in a fallen
32:51
world. You know, the, the, the Satan's
32:53
still alive and you know, and, and loosen and our, our, our
33:00
fallen sinful nature still exists, although it has been
33:04
paid for. And we, we need to overcome our
33:08
fallen nature with the word of God continually refreshing us
33:14
and, and dining us, because we'll be prone to, to wonder,
33:19
you know, if, if we, if we think we, we, we've reached our, we've
33:23
reached it, you know, with we, we reached all we needed to do
33:27
because I, I, I've arrived, You know, there's no such thing as
33:30
sinless perfection in, in our Christian life.
33:33
We're, we're always going to have to deal with it because
33:35
we're going to be prone to wonder if we think we've
33:38
arrived. And again, I think that, you
33:41
know, I use the phrase first love a lot, you know, and
33:45
discover your first love for God and discover your first love,
33:49
discover gold refined by fire. Well, in the, in the Book of
33:54
Revelation, the church at Ephesus has talked about and it
33:59
says they left their first love. And I've always thought, what is
34:04
the first love that they left? And some people say, well, I
34:07
think it's the, the joy you have when you're first saved and
34:11
stuff. And so I don't know about that.
34:13
I, I never had that first love when I was the joy when I was
34:16
saved, I, I was saved as before I was a teenager and I got saved
34:21
just because it was the right thing to do.
34:23
I didn't get saved because I had a miserable home life.
34:27
It was just the right thing to do.
34:28
I was a happy little leaguer playing Little League baseball
34:31
and life was good, but I didn't get saved because something
34:35
awful was happening. I saved because the was the
34:37
right thing to do. So I didn't have it like a a
34:40
first love that some people term it.
34:42
What I've come to realize is that the Church of Ephesus, if
34:48
you go to the book of Acts in chapter 19, it talks about God.
34:52
The apostle Paul taught the Church of Ephesus for two years.
34:58
He taught them daily. I believe their first love was
35:02
the word of God and they were whatever they were you however
35:06
they were digesting it. They had one of the best
35:09
teachers available. You know, the apostle Paul
35:13
because the knowledge he had of of Old Testament and and then
35:18
with the New Testament, the New covenant coming upon mankind and
35:21
him being an apostle, how he tied them together.
35:24
And it says in there he, he taught them daily.
35:26
He says first he was teaching them in the, in the synagogue
35:29
and then because the Jewish people was, was raising Cain,
35:33
because he was teaching them this new, new way of life.
35:37
He, he, he went to the school of Tyrannis and he says he taught
35:41
them daily for two years, which I think was actually longer than
35:44
that all together. But that was in that school.
35:47
And I think their lives were. And it says from there that all
35:50
of Asia heard about the word of God because of that.
35:55
It's like, wow, these guys, you know, people were coming to go
35:59
on because of the economy and Ephesus and people were taking
36:03
it out. And the, all the other, all the
36:05
other six churches that are talked about in Revelation, I
36:08
think were because of the church at Ephesus.
36:13
And I, I think they, and what does it mean to leave their
36:15
first love? Well, they thought they'd
36:16
arrived, you know, because God's compliments them at the
36:20
beginning of the Church of Ephesus and Revelation about the
36:23
things they did and how they didn't tolerate evil and so on
36:26
and so forth. But you said you've left your
36:30
first love. And so I, I, that's what I think
36:33
it is. I think the first, our first
36:35
love and you'll, and, and you'll find out you have a love for the
36:39
word of God like you'd never had before.
36:40
When you just take time every day to, to take time to be holy
36:46
and, and, and like, like that multiplies our time.
36:51
We we memorize it, it, it compounds our time.
36:55
Yeah. You know, you, you said a word
36:57
earlier that I want to kind of circle back to and that is
37:00
refinement. You know, when, when you think
37:04
about refinement or, or forgiveness or, or anything
37:08
along along with that lines, part of what we have to do is
37:11
repent, right? We have to ask for forgiveness
37:14
and repent. And so when you think about
37:18
repenting and what that looks like, what did repentance look
37:24
like for you, not as a punishment, but as healing?
37:30
I think I had to realize that sometimes men say things maybe
37:39
I'm hearing in a different way and what they mean them.
37:41
I don't, I don't know. But but but it's pretty sure
37:45
that that what, what what I what I thought about divorce and what
37:50
I could do was was wrong. You know, it's, it's the last
37:53
thing you want to do is ever get divorced.
37:56
But we, we can overcome. And I think that's, that's what
37:59
it is, is when we overcome, we, we just naturally go a different
38:04
direction. We, we change direction because
38:06
repenting means going the other direction.
38:09
And so you, you give up these things that were we're tying you
38:12
down. And I, I think that repentance
38:15
is such a release. It's such a such a no such, such
38:20
relief, release and relief repentance.
38:23
So you think, well, I was taken wrong and I'm I'm glad to think
38:29
your way now. And I think that's what
38:31
repentance is, is we learn to think like God.
38:34
We learn to accept his way of thinking.
38:37
And I think that's what brings about repentance is genuine and
38:40
joyful. Yeah.
38:43
And, and now that you've repented and you know, you're
38:47
experiencing this healing and you're experiencing this new
38:50
found joy, so to speak, you know, how, how did God rebuild
38:56
your identity? Not as a teacher or a pastor,
38:59
but as a as a son. Well, I, I, I, I, I just
39:06
developed a relationship that I never had before because I think
39:12
since, since I'm not the brightest tool in the shed
39:14
intellectually, I was, I, I believe God gave me a gift, but
39:18
I wasn't quite sure how to use it the best I could.
39:21
Now I, I believe I have the gift of pastor and teacher, but with
39:25
my intellect that I, that I was limited in it.
39:28
It was a struggle, you know, And so I, but, but I, I, I did it as
39:34
faithfully as I could, you know, and so I was always using
39:38
somebody else's resources to, to help me minister.
39:43
And then after I, I had this upside down experience and my
39:47
life was upside down because of a debt and divorce, I started
39:52
reaching out to God and, and I just totally, I, I, the only
39:59
thing I can do is, is rely upon your work.
40:01
That's all I know to do. And so just turning just totally
40:04
to the word of God and letting the word of God speak to me.
40:08
From the one translation that I read and, and that's all I could
40:12
do. And I, I was not expecting this
40:17
revival that came into my life. I, I had, I had no idea how to,
40:21
how to relate to that, but but it happened.
40:25
It, it's not something I thought thought was going to happen.
40:28
I just thought I was going to learn to exist.
40:30
But I've learned to live like I've never learned to live
40:34
before and love the word of God. Before I ask these last few
40:38
questions, I just want to pause here real quick and talk to the
40:41
listeners. You know, listeners, if there's
40:43
something in this first part of the episode, this first, we'll
40:47
call it 3/4 of the episode that we've done already that's been
40:50
speaking to you, You know, maybe God put somebody on your mind,
40:55
like, man, they should really hear this.
40:57
Would you just take a moment, pause the episode and just share
40:59
it with that person? Because seriously, it, it's how
41:02
conversations get started and it's how people start to
41:05
experience freedom is when then you share something that you
41:10
think that they would help them. So take a moment and share it.
41:14
So let's get let's get back in now to these to this episode.
41:19
And Mike, I wanted you to answer.
41:22
I want to let's kind of switch roles here a little bit now and
41:27
have you speak directly to the listeners and provide some
41:30
advice with these final few questions.
41:34
So for somebody listening out there right now who feels
41:37
lukewarm, maybe they're feeling burnt out or spiritually numb.
41:43
What doesn't help and what actually does for them to be
41:49
able to experience? Well, one of the, one of the
41:53
worst things about being lukewarm is you don't know it,
41:58
he says. You do not know that you're
42:00
wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked.
42:04
And so when somebody's lukewarm, they think everything's all
42:08
right. And then when the world falls
42:09
apart because if something happens or God wants to wake you
42:12
up, then, then you're challenged.
42:15
So, you know, I, I think don't, you know, don't, don't go and,
42:21
and blame God. It's not God's fault.
42:24
God, God is always faithful. And I think that that's what you
42:28
don't want to do. Don't ever blame God.
42:31
And some people do, you know, and I, because I, I was trying
42:34
to share it with the lady at dinner here a few weeks ago
42:38
about some, about a course I have that, that I wanted to
42:41
share with her and, and she just flat out said, Nope, I don't
42:45
want to have anything to do with it.
42:46
You know, God has never been on my side.
42:49
So she related to that. And so the people that are
42:54
listening don't blame God. God is faithful.
42:59
God is God is good and he has, he's sovereign, you know, and he
43:05
he can, he can fix it. But we have to be willing then
43:09
this I guess we're the part we need to do.
43:12
We have to be willing to listen to him how to fix it.
43:17
And as we listen to him, how does it fix it?
43:20
Some ideas or some revealing thoughts were developed that you
43:25
never you never knew about before or understandings, you
43:30
know, either. Facts show what you'll learn
43:32
because sometimes we make decisions quick or quick
43:35
decisions, and we don't have all the facts and so wait, Wait upon
43:41
God, then then it's the next one to wait upon God and then turn
43:46
to His word and call out to Him. Good stuff.
43:53
Looking back now, how do you understand God's faithfulness in
43:59
the season where you felt the most rejected?
44:06
Boy, I, I, I, I guess it's, it's because of the, the, the, the
44:13
education that I had given myself as being a, a Sunday
44:16
school teacher, you know, I, I just knew he was always
44:20
faithful, but I did not understand why I was going
44:24
through what I was going through or, or why, why I couldn't find
44:32
the relationship that I, that I, I felt that I had lost with God.
44:36
But, but I, I didn't understand it.
44:38
It was like a, a fog, you know, I was in and not not knowing.
44:44
And I wasn't blaming God. I just knew we had issues that
44:47
I, I had never had dealt with in my life before.
44:50
And I, I scripturally didn't know how to deal with them and,
44:56
and issues and, and the pressures of life, you know, and
44:59
it, and it talks about, you know, the, the, there's times in
45:03
our life when we get turned upside down and, and because
45:09
we're not deeply rooted, you know, we, we can be torn away.
45:13
But, but because of what God had already taught me, you know,
45:18
and, and, and, and again, God if, if first temptations that
45:22
come into your life, you know, he's not going to be tempted to
45:25
tempt you beyond what you're able to bear.
45:28
You know, and, and sometimes there's issues in our life that
45:30
we're, like I said, don't blame God, you know, and sometimes
45:34
we're tempted to blame God. And I, I think that just just,
45:40
you know, being into his word is, is what is necessary.
45:45
Well, Mike, before I, before I ask you this last question, if
45:50
there's somebody out there and they're like, man, Mike, you,
45:53
what you're saying really speaks to me.
45:55
I want to be able to connect with you.
45:58
How can listeners find you online if they have more
46:02
questions or they just want to find out more about you?
46:05
Well, I, I guess you could e-mail me and my e-mail is
46:10
yourfirstlove25@yahoo.com. And this is your first, it's,
46:18
it's the, it's the one for, for it's not, not the one OOONE,
46:23
it's one your first love25@yahoo.com.
46:30
But I have another thing that I would like to share that I am
46:33
doing and what had brought about this love that I this first love
46:40
that I have is God. God inspired me.
46:43
I was going to write a book relative to this.
46:48
And the, the publisher I was using said, you know, if you
46:51
want to do an online course, you can do that too.
46:54
So I did an online course and this online course is discover
46:59
is can only be accessed on Facebook right now, but it's an
47:04
online course. And if you're interested in
47:06
looking at what my I'm about, you can go to discover your
47:11
first love for God on Facebook and an animal come up that's on
47:16
Facebook under that title discover your first love for
47:21
God. And you can look at the facts of
47:23
what this course is about and if you feel LED you, you can
47:27
enroll, you know, but that's, that's what I've done.
47:31
That's that's how you can reach out to me and communicate with
47:34
me that way. And listeners, if you're
47:37
interested in in doing that, check the show notes and I'll
47:40
provide links to all that information for you so that you
47:44
can find it quickly and easily. So Mike, for the last question,
47:49
one of the things that I love to do is to leave listeners with a
47:53
action step, something that they can chew on or do to really just
47:59
kind of allow them to meditate, if you will.
48:02
So if someone listening is listening right now and they
48:05
feel like they've been ruined, you know, they feel like they're
48:08
that they have ruined their standing with God, like there's
48:13
like they're outside looking in. What is the one thing that you
48:18
would want them to know right now about who God really is?
48:26
Going back to the Word of God, I think you you should find a
48:33
portion of scripture that might speak to you to calm your your
48:38
issues or direct, direct you with whatever is your problem.
48:43
And I would take a card and I would write this scripture down
48:47
on this card and carry it with you wherever you go.
48:52
You know, people always a lot of times who I can do all things
48:55
through Christ who strengthens me, you know, break that down.
48:58
But there's more to it than that.
49:00
Write down the the scripture reference around it and see what
49:03
all builds up to that phrase. But write a portion of the word
49:07
of God down and take it with me because Psalm 111957 says the
49:12
Lord is my portion. I have promised to keep your
49:17
words and so that's what I've always done.
49:20
I've learned the word of God in portions.
49:23
I don't, I don't overwhelm myself with PC on three or four
49:27
chapters. It's just a small portion and
49:30
sometimes it's 2 verses or three verses.
49:33
But then if I'm, I had a bigger portion, I, I always break the
49:37
portions down if the portion I want to is too big.
49:40
And, and I, I, that's in the Israelites.
49:43
We're, we're told to do that. He said, write, write these down
49:46
in the, you know, the word of God down in your lentils, your
49:49
doorposts, put them as frontals on your, on your head and, you
49:52
know, on your wrist. Take the word of God with you.
49:54
So God's already counseled us to do this.
49:57
And that's one step that I would encourage people to do find.
50:02
And maybe it's from the book of Proverbs that we'd have great
50:05
wisdom that you should carry with you and let it speak to you
50:09
and give it time. But because even even today,
50:13
after I've been doing this going on 19 years, I, I get, I get a
50:17
new portion of scripture sometimes.
50:19
And I'm just shaking my head and I'm saying, Lord, I, I don't
50:23
really know where this fits into.
50:25
I really, I'm really getting it, you know, But as I as I stick
50:30
with it, it just starts speaking every time without fail.
50:34
So here's a follow up question for you.
50:37
Let's just say they were like they I, I can hear somebody out
50:40
there right now. I want to start reading the
50:42
Bible. I just don't know where to
50:44
start. What is with your vast knowledge
50:48
of memory, a memory of Scripture?
50:50
What is one book? The the one book that you would
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say, if you've never read and you don't know where to start,
50:55
start here. Well, I guess it has to do with
51:00
your, if you're a new believer, everybody's saying go to John
51:03
and stuff. And, and, but if you're, if
51:06
you're been a believer for this is who I ministered to.
51:09
I, I'm, I'm, I'm not saying I'm, I'm not AII love evangelism,
51:14
but, but I'm not an evangelist. You know, I, I, I, I minister to
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people who know the Lord and I would, I, I think the Psalms are
51:21
great Psalms to go to, you know, and Psalm 1 is a good one to go
51:25
to because I, I worked on that. And of course, it's been so
51:31
long, I don't know how it starts anymore, but I but I can turn to
51:33
it quickly and find out how it starts.
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And, and it just speaks to you so, so loud and clear.
51:40
How blessed is a man who does not walk in the counsel of the
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wicked or stand in the path of sinners, nor sit in the seat of
51:49
scoffers. But his delay is at the law of
51:52
the Lord. And in his law he meditates day
51:55
and night. Start there.
51:59
Well, there you go. Well, Mike, thank you so much
52:02
again for being with us and on mass and sharing your your story
52:06
with us and trusting us with it. Yes.
52:09
Thank you very much, Wesley, for this opportunity.
52:13
Absolutely. It's my pleasure indeed.
52:22
Well, thank you so much for joining me today at Unmasked and
52:25
again, a huge thanks to Mike for sharing so openly and honestly.
52:30
If something in this episode spoke with you, don't let it
52:33
stop with you. Share it with the one person
52:35
that God has put on your heart while you were listening.
52:38
You never know whose breakthrough might start with
52:41
just a simple message from you. If you want more encouragement,
52:45
you want to work with me one-on-one, or if you're
52:47
interested in having me speak at your church or events, you can
52:51
contact me and find everything else that you need to know at
52:54
wesleyfarnsworth.com. And make sure you join the
52:57
Unmasked community by connecting with me on social media so that
53:01
we can keep walking this journey together.
53:04
Until next time, remember that grace is greater than your past,
53:09
and real freedom begins the moment that we choose to live
53:13
unmasked. God bless you.
53:21
Alrighty. OK.
53:26
Well, thank you. Absolutely.