Latest / The Hauraki Big Show / OUTRO: Anal About It
Transcript
- 0:00Speaker 1: Did fan of the Hurdarky Big Shot podcast, make sure
- 0:07Speaker 1: you'd check out more from Jay Smike and Kezy on
- 0:10Speaker 1: their Instagram at Hadarky Big.
- 0:11Speaker 2: Show launching into them four to seven every weekday on
- 0:15Speaker 2: radio Hraky, thanks.
- 0:18Speaker 3: Mate, Thanks mate.
- 0:19Speaker 4: How you feeling, Jace?
- 0:21Speaker 3: Not too bad?
- 0:21Speaker 1: Men?
- 0:22Speaker 3: Yeah, good enough to do radio?
- 0:24Speaker 4: Been doing poohs a lot, big poo guy? I pugs hi? Sorry?
- 0:30Speaker 1: Hey?
- 0:31Speaker 4: Or has it just been chandering?
- 0:33Speaker 3: Just chondering?
- 0:33Speaker 4: Oh god?
- 0:35Speaker 5: And to be fear Actually I only chunded twice. Okay, right,
- 0:41Speaker 5: so it wasn't continuous.
- 0:42Speaker 4: Do you reckon it was food poisoning?
- 0:44Speaker 5: No? I think because my fano have had a very
- 0:47Speaker 5: similar thing in my little one and my wife my
- 0:53Speaker 5: little one had been had a bit of a chunder
- 0:56Speaker 5: feast going on, so right, maybe it was just a
- 0:59Speaker 5: touch of that. And you know, because of all the
- 1:01Speaker 5: abscesses all over.
- 1:02Speaker 4: My body, that face looks better.
- 1:05Speaker 3: Oh yeah, yeah it does.
- 1:07Speaker 5: It reached the point where it was so bad and throbbing,
- 1:11Speaker 5: so bad.
- 1:12Speaker 4: I broke, I broke. Can you squeeze the shit out
- 1:14Speaker 4: of it?
- 1:15Speaker 3: Yes?
- 1:15Speaker 1: It work?
- 1:16Speaker 3: Did you get it initially?
- 1:18Speaker 5: No? And I fell into a petitive despair because it.
- 1:22Speaker 5: There is nothing more depressing than with a massive blinds
- 1:28Speaker 5: out And this is the biggest one I've ever had.
- 1:30Speaker 5: It was like and you just gona and it just
- 1:33Speaker 5: went and just expanded more and was extremely painful.
- 1:38Speaker 4: So because you were talking about potentially heating up a
- 1:41Speaker 4: needle and just piercing it.
- 1:43Speaker 5: Yeah, well it was a fantasy of mine that I
- 1:45Speaker 5: don't know if you guys have the same sort of fantasy. Yeah,
- 1:49Speaker 5: but if I've got like a massive growth on my face,
- 1:51Speaker 5: I'm like, just burn a needle there and did well,
- 1:56Speaker 5: what's in there? Yeah, just fluid right drained out.
- 1:58Speaker 3: I think I've actually done that once and that ended
- 2:00Speaker 3: up happening, was me bleeding.
- 2:02Speaker 4: Well, at least something comes out.
- 2:05Speaker 1: But then.
- 2:08Speaker 5: And then I went, I went, I went back in again,
- 2:10Speaker 5: and it eventually burst, but not to a satisfactory degree.
- 2:16Speaker 3: Because it was just a little sort.
- 2:17Speaker 4: Of looking at it. I wanted it to just explode
- 2:21Speaker 4: all over the mirror.
- 2:22Speaker 3: So did I I want to just finish the pie
- 2:27Speaker 3: pugs finish it. I I wanted it just to just explode,
- 2:33Speaker 3: that's right, like everywhere. Yeah, and you just go, oh yeah,
- 2:37Speaker 3: like like coming.
- 2:41Speaker 4: Around it.
- 2:42Speaker 5: But it didn't quite give me the satisfactory explosion that
- 2:47Speaker 5: I wanted.
- 2:48Speaker 4: Did it go all over the walls? Did you have
- 2:49Speaker 4: your headboard there?
- 2:51Speaker 1: No?
- 2:51Speaker 3: Because I had test ues.
- 2:53Speaker 6: Oh yeah, yeah, I remember, Pugs. Yeah this, yeah, I remember.
- 3:05Speaker 5: I'm made of mine actually, And he had this massive
- 3:07Speaker 5: that on the back of his sort of a shoulder,
- 3:11Speaker 5: on his shoulder, but he said it was massive and
- 3:13Speaker 5: it was a blind one and it had been there
- 3:15Speaker 5: for so long, and he tried to squeeze it for
- 3:19Speaker 5: so long and it just wouldn't give, and he left
- 3:22Speaker 5: it alone, and then ages he went and it was
- 3:24Speaker 5: still there, and he went back to it, and he
- 3:26Speaker 5: squeezed it and eventually gave.
- 3:28Speaker 3: But it was like powder because it had just gone
- 3:31Speaker 3: and well not like milk, yeah.
- 3:34Speaker 4: Kind of like quick banana nesquicks and cheese.
- 3:38Speaker 5: Actually, like a little bit of sort of moist parmesan
- 3:40Speaker 5: cheese maybe. And he said it was even that made
- 3:44Speaker 5: him so that he was like, nah, that's gross.
- 3:46Speaker 3: Because it was so old, Pugs. I don't know what
- 3:49Speaker 3: happened to the pass, but it must have sort of
- 3:52Speaker 3: passed dried up, a.
- 3:53Speaker 4: Bit dried past, Pugs son.
- 3:56Speaker 5: But I tell you, movie was even just that one
- 4:00Speaker 5: day my Trick's already hurting having spoken for five minutes.
- 4:04Speaker 4: Well, you are talking quite loudly about pass Yeah, but
- 4:07Speaker 4: that's that's good though. That's why we heavy around. Did
- 4:09Speaker 4: your one would chant?
- 4:10Speaker 1: Was?
- 4:10Speaker 4: Was your wife? Ever? My wife gets annoyed? Right, sorry,
- 4:17Speaker 4: my wife gets annoyed whenever I've got like a zet
- 4:21Speaker 4: and then.
- 4:21Speaker 3: You don't seem to get me any sets, so easy
- 4:23Speaker 3: to be fair.
- 4:24Speaker 4: Thanks man. But if I have a zet and I
- 4:27Speaker 4: pop it without her, right, is your wife like that?
- 4:31Speaker 3: No, she's not that anal, but she does like to
- 4:39Speaker 3: pop them.
- 4:40Speaker 4: Yeah right, Yeah, my wife's not anal.
- 4:42Speaker 3: Well I'm not Yeah, sorry, that was probably yeah, I mean.
- 4:46Speaker 4: Yeah, no, she's just normal.
- 4:47Speaker 3: She's not like anal, but she's well, there's nothing wrong
- 4:51Speaker 3: with anal.
- 4:52Speaker 4: I mean, I mean to get on tiptoe, but.
- 4:59Speaker 5: If she sees one on me, she's like, let me
- 5:02Speaker 5: at it. Yes, definitely, And that's your fact.
- 5:06Speaker 3: Occasionally, pug Son, I'll lie back on. I'll lie lie
- 5:11Speaker 3: in bed and say.
- 5:12Speaker 4: To her, prune me, that is weird. What was she praying?
- 5:17Speaker 3: Just my you know, just because I hang on just
- 5:20Speaker 3: your what my back? My back? Right? Because I find
- 5:23Speaker 3: it very comforting. But she's always the same.
- 5:26Speaker 5: She's like, you've got no zets on your back, it's
- 5:28Speaker 5: what but you'll look around for them, and I find
- 5:32Speaker 5: just to trying to find a ze on my back comforting.
- 5:35Speaker 3: Does that make sense?
- 5:36Speaker 4: That goes back to our primal almost primate instance.
- 5:39Speaker 3: Yes, yes, you know, just like gorillas and monkeys.
- 5:44Speaker 4: Do you have any zets pugs On?
- 5:46Speaker 3: Did you have since as a young fella.
- 5:49Speaker 2: Definitely had had a small share during puberty, but I
- 5:55Speaker 2: have been very blessed with skin that it was massively
- 5:58Speaker 2: prone to it skin.
- 6:01Speaker 7: Well as as my wife said, pugsn has has beautiful skin,
- 6:06Speaker 7: the highest of compliments coming from your wife, Chase Well,
- 6:09Speaker 7: but having said that, she's only got mine to compare
- 6:12Speaker 7: it to.
- 6:14Speaker 6: Yeah, the whole Big.
- 6:17Speaker 4: Show days from four on Radio Hurdarchy with a Big
- 6:22Speaker 4: Show podcast. She also said we're a package deal. Mean, so's.
- 6:29Speaker 3: Were she did say you were a package deal.
- 6:31Speaker 2: I have noticed that I've and this is since I've
- 6:34Speaker 2: started going to the gym more, and I think it's
- 6:36Speaker 2: because I'm sweating more, but I've had like a few
- 6:39Speaker 2: odd ones around my upper body, so it's definitely from
- 6:42Speaker 2: the like around my shoulder area or and stuff.
- 6:46Speaker 6: No, no, no, like I get them.
- 6:48Speaker 4: Why don't you lay back and just tell Jase to
- 6:50Speaker 4: prune you? And then he might come might be comforting,
- 6:54Speaker 4: he might what that might be come, He might comforting.
- 6:57Speaker 5: But your wife must do that, keysy, doesn't she? When
- 6:59Speaker 5: you're there and the bed with no shirt on, for example,
- 7:02Speaker 5: she must certainly have a little sort of but you
- 7:08Speaker 5: know what, I like little gorilla things, you know, and
- 7:11Speaker 5: she'll pick the things.
- 7:12Speaker 4: Out of your hair and yeah, and eat them and.
- 7:14Speaker 3: Squeeze and squeeze stuff.
- 7:16Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, yeah, sure that to be fair, yea, if
- 7:17Speaker 4: I'm lying on my front for some reason with my
- 7:20Speaker 4: shirt off for some reason, she probably would.
- 7:22Speaker 1: Yeah.
- 7:22Speaker 4: Yeah, But to be honest, that's not our first go to,
- 7:27Speaker 4: you know what I mean, well, it's not my first
- 7:29Speaker 4: go to. It sounds like it is.
- 7:30Speaker 2: It sounds like it sounds like you start with that
- 7:32Speaker 2: and then it leads to like it's the first, second,
- 7:35Speaker 2: and third thing you go.
- 7:36Speaker 5: Yeah, because there's nothing that turns you on more than
- 7:38Speaker 5: squeezing zets me.
- 7:40Speaker 4: You know, your big one on your face that you
- 7:42Speaker 4: wanted to stab, Yes, you know how you could I
- 7:45Speaker 4: had one of those things on your wrist a little
- 7:49Speaker 4: bump on the back of your wrist there. Yes, they're
- 7:52Speaker 4: called a clockless or something.
- 7:55Speaker 3: Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
- 7:57Speaker 4: And you meant to hit them with a bible, have
- 7:59Speaker 4: you heard? No, You put your arm, you put your
- 8:02Speaker 4: hand flat on a surface, and you can see the
- 8:04Speaker 4: little round thing because it's actually a built up of
- 8:05Speaker 4: fluid which starts going hard solidifying. You hit it with
- 8:09Speaker 4: a bible and it like effectively pops the wee sack
- 8:12Speaker 4: holding all the fluid, and then the fluid slowly just
- 8:14Speaker 4: drains out and seeps into the rest of your body
- 8:16Speaker 4: for the rest like the rest of the week. So
- 8:18Speaker 4: I did it with the Order of the Phoenix, which
- 8:20Speaker 4: is the biggest of the Harry Potter books. That's your Bible,
- 8:22Speaker 4: that is my Bible to be fear. The fourth one
- 8:24Speaker 4: probably is. But I smacked the crap out of it.
- 8:27Speaker 4: I was just like, I'm done with it. I got
- 8:29Speaker 4: my mother in law to do it. She hit my
- 8:31Speaker 4: hand as hard as she could with the Order of
- 8:33Speaker 4: the Phoenix, and it flattened it out and it went away.
- 8:36Speaker 3: Well.
- 8:36Speaker 5: I was holding a bit because of the thing on
- 8:38Speaker 5: her face, So I was doing a bit of an
- 8:40Speaker 5: investigation and apparently you shouldn't squeeze them at all. Yeah,
- 8:43Speaker 5: but that your your body will naturally get rid of
- 8:46Speaker 5: it and flush it out.
- 8:47Speaker 4: Yeah, but it takes its sweet ass time. Yeah.
- 8:49Speaker 3: Well, especially you know, and you have to go and
- 8:51Speaker 3: do like have to go into a makeup test and
- 8:53Speaker 3: stuff like that. Well did you do that in the
- 8:55Speaker 3: end today?
- 8:57Speaker 5: And it was really funny when I tuned up, they said, oh,
- 8:59Speaker 5: we want to take a photo of you for our
- 9:01Speaker 5: big board and I said, nah, not happening.
- 9:06Speaker 3: Always the way.
- 9:07Speaker 5: But it was great because I went into the makeup
- 9:09Speaker 5: and I said, look, I'm sorry, I've got this atrocity.
- 9:11Speaker 3: It's not happening. And they went, no, no, we don't
- 9:13Speaker 3: want to touch that. Yeah.
- 9:14Speaker 4: Great, okay, so they just said no, yeah.
- 9:16Speaker 5: Yeah, really, I may have to lose the beard though
- 9:19Speaker 5: I've really enjoyed beard here Hoidy Joe.
- 9:21Speaker 4: Yeah same, I'll be honest, I haven't. Oh, like, I
- 9:24Speaker 4: don't I prefer you without a beard? Do you really?
- 9:26Speaker 4: I genuinely do. I don't know what like, I don't
- 9:28Speaker 4: care because I'm just a work colleague. But for some
- 9:30Speaker 4: reason I think we're more than that, aren't we?
- 9:33Speaker 3: Keazy?
- 9:34Speaker 4: Yeah? I guess so Keesy, yeah, man, but I do
- 9:37Speaker 4: prefer you without the beard.
- 9:38Speaker 8: Okay, you guys are a two for one.
- 9:40Speaker 4: There's a little package deal over here.
- 9:41Speaker 7: Yeah.
- 9:41Speaker 5: Yeah, will never be a two for one like pug
- 9:45Speaker 5: Son and Kezy. We don't go on lunch dates and stuff.
- 9:49Speaker 4: Well, it's because if you invited me, I would. Do
- 9:51Speaker 4: you want to go on lunch date?
- 9:52Speaker 5: Jose, Hey, I need to ask you read the batch?
- 9:55Speaker 5: Sure are you going to cook dinner on Saturday? Because
- 9:57Speaker 5: now keyesyes, he's refused.
- 10:00Speaker 7: Yeah, basically yeah, because to me, you're the host, you
- 10:03Speaker 7: cook Jays, Pugs.
- 10:05Speaker 3: You did say that.
- 10:07Speaker 4: About how about on Saturday night, Pugs and I could
- 10:10Speaker 4: about on the show. By the way, Pugs and I
- 10:12Speaker 4: are cooked in it for Mike and Jays. Yeah, And
- 10:15Speaker 4: then was like, yeah, that's a good idea. And then
- 10:16Speaker 4: I was like, hang on, Jason loves cooking. All he
- 10:18Speaker 4: does is bang on about how good as loaves are
- 10:20Speaker 4: and his spicy chicken soup. And also anytime it was
- 10:23Speaker 4: suggested food to him, it's been not good enough. And
- 10:26Speaker 4: then I was like, you know what, that's a terrible idea.
- 10:28Speaker 8: Actually, you know what now that you mentioned.
- 10:30Speaker 3: That really good shift there a pugs aren't well.
- 10:33Speaker 8: I'm a good shift for one person. I only have
- 10:35Speaker 8: myself to impress her.
- 10:36Speaker 3: Huh, I reckon. We just get white bread rolls in
- 10:39Speaker 3: a couple of Chucks.
- 10:41Speaker 6: Chefs.
- 10:42Speaker 4: Huh Chucks Chucks. Yeah, okay, they've got many checks out,
- 10:46Speaker 4: were you betches? Jason, there's an old lady that calls
- 10:50Speaker 4: the police on anyone breaking keen, true story, breaking COVID
- 10:54Speaker 4: lockdown rules, true story enough.
- 10:56Speaker 5: He's an older woman about three batches down who has
- 11:02Speaker 5: absolutely the hots for me.
- 11:05Speaker 1: I'm not.
- 11:06Speaker 6: I'm not.
- 11:07Speaker 4: I cannot wait for you to point her out, and I.
- 11:09Speaker 3: I've found out through my father in law.
- 11:12Speaker 4: Does your wife know?
- 11:13Speaker 8: Yes, just wait till us three young studs turn up.
- 11:16Speaker 3: Jack, Actually, I should see what the tides are doing
- 11:20Speaker 3: while we're there.
- 11:21Speaker 4: Is she attractive?
- 11:23Speaker 1: Yes? She is?
- 11:24Speaker 3: Actually?
- 11:26Speaker 4: And how good?
- 11:28Speaker 2: But ye?
- 11:30Speaker 4: But what about ye? Good?
- 11:34Speaker 2: Is she?
- 11:35Speaker 8: But you were saying anal about COVID stuff?
- 11:40Speaker 4: No that's the other neighbor.
- 11:41Speaker 3: Ah, don't try and slip an anal bed.
- 11:44Speaker 4: Hang on and a life for all. By the way, Hey,
- 11:48Speaker 4: by the way, thanks for listening. Everyone. Tune into the
- 11:50Speaker 4: Hicky Bio show. Fotable seven every single weekday because it's
- 11:52Speaker 4: so good and it's a radio HURDARKI thank you, thanks mate,