Latest / Aging ain't for Sissies / Finding Steady Joy In The Season You’re In

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Finding Steady Joy In The Season You’re In · Aging ain't for Sissies

• 0:06
  SPEAKER_00: Hello and welcome to AgNate for Sissies.
• 0:09
  SPEAKER_00: My name is Marcy Backis, and I am your host.
• 0:13
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I am pre-recording this episode because while you're listening to this episode, I will be on my cruise.
• 0:20
  SPEAKER_00: I will probably be in Cabo San Lucas.
• 0:23
  SPEAKER_00: Although Lynn and I are not planning to get off the ship, we are planning to use it as a hotel and a spa experience.
• 0:30
  SPEAKER_00: So we ordered the spa package, which means we can go into the spa area, use all the spa amenities every day 24-7, as much or as little as we like.
• 0:41
  SPEAKER_00: And that is our plan to eat, drink, and be merry.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: Not alcohol.
• 0:48
  SPEAKER_00: Neither one of us, I don't drink at all.
• 0:49
  SPEAKER_00: Lynn's not a big drinker.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe a glass of wine at dinner.
• 0:53
  SPEAKER_00: But uh we are looking forward to that.
• 0:55
  SPEAKER_00: So as long as everything goes well with my doctor's appointment tomorrow, which I don't doubt, I did have a biopsy on my hand a couple days ago.
• 1:04
  SPEAKER_00: So I should be on the cruise when you're hearing this.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: I want to welcome you back to Aging E for Sissies.
• 1:12
  SPEAKER_00: I'm recording this episode again while I'm away on my trip near the water, out of my usual routine, and it feels like the perfect moment to talk about something I didn't fully expect at this stage of my life.
• 1:25
  SPEAKER_00: Joy.
• 1:27
  SPEAKER_00: Joy.
• 1:29
  SPEAKER_00: J-O-Y.
• 1:31
  SPEAKER_00: Not big fireworks, confetti joy, not look how amazing everything is, joy, but quiet joy, steady joy, the kind that sneaks up on you and makes you stop for a second and think, oh, this is actually really good.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: I have had a lot of joy in my life at all stages of it.
• 1:56
  SPEAKER_00: But I am working really hard now at this stage of life to recognize joyful times, joyful moments.
• 2:05
  SPEAKER_01: I hope you are too, because joy is a wonderful feeling.
• 2:13
  SPEAKER_01: Again, it's that thing that sneaks up on you, and you think, oh my gosh, this is really good.
• 2:22
  SPEAKER_00: The joy of being at Lynn's house and having our coffee and her grandson opening the door and surprised that it wasn't just Nana in there, that Nana's friend was too.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: The joy of that little boy, the joy of seeing the ocean while I've been here, the joy of sunshine, the joy of a young lady.
• 2:48
  SPEAKER_00: I went to the Shake Shack and um I sat outside.
• 2:52
  SPEAKER_00: Nobody else was sitting outside, but I was.
• 2:54
  SPEAKER_00: It was a beautiful day in Manhattan Beach, and I had got my favorite veggie burger.
• 2:57
  SPEAKER_00: If you've never had one from the Shake Shack, highly recommend.
• 3:01
  SPEAKER_00: And a young lady brought it out and she said, Is your name Marcy?
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, Oh, yes, I'm Marcy.
• 3:07
  SPEAKER_00: She said, Oh, my mother, and she pointed to a pin that had a memory and her mother's picture.
• 3:15
  SPEAKER_00: She said, My mother's name was Marcella.
• 3:17
  SPEAKER_00: She died last year, but she went as Marcy.
• 3:21
  SPEAKER_00: And just that connection with her in that moment.
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: And I said, She must have been a wonderful person.
• 3:26
  SPEAKER_00: She said she was.
• 3:28
  SPEAKER_00: And we talked for a little bit, and I thanked her for sharing that and sharing that with me and told her what a wonderful young lady she was.
• 3:37
  SPEAKER_00: Excuse me.
• 3:39
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have my cough button.
• 3:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have my microphone, sorry.
• 3:43
  SPEAKER_00: But what joy that was, that small moment with that young lady.
• 3:49
  SPEAKER_00: So this episode is about the unexpected joys of the season of life.
• 3:53
  SPEAKER_00: The ones no one really tells you about, the ones you don't always notice unless you slow down long enough to feel them.
• 4:02
  SPEAKER_00: When we were younger, joy had a very specific look.
• 4:04
  SPEAKER_00: It was loud, it was busy, it was tied to milestones' achievements and plans.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: That's where joy came from.
• 4:11
  SPEAKER_00: Joy meant big events, big moments, big stories to tell later.
• 4:16
  SPEAKER_00: Weddings, parties, new years, everything that brought joy was so big and loud.
• 4:23
  SPEAKER_00: Going to Disneyland, all those things when we were young.
• 4:27
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the line, though, joy started to change its shape.
• 4:33
  SPEAKER_00: Now joy shows up quietly.
• 4:40
  SPEAKER_00: It's coffee that actually tastes good.
• 4:43
  SPEAKER_00: And being able to slow down and enjoy it no matter where you are because you're not rushing off to work.
• 4:50
  SPEAKER_00: It's being somewhere beautiful and not needing to photograph every second of it.
• 4:56
  SPEAKER_00: I'm working on that.
• 4:58
  SPEAKER_00: I do love photos, but I always have.
• 5:00
  SPEAKER_01: It's nothing new.
• 5:05
  SPEAKER_00: In this season of life, joy doesn't demand attention.
• 5:09
  SPEAKER_00: It simply exists and it waits for us to notice it.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: And when you do, it feels deeper than anything flashy ever did.
• 5:20
  SPEAKER_00: Absolutely.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: Joy is amazing at this age.
• 5:27
  SPEAKER_00: First, the joy of not rushing.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: One of the busy biggest unexpected joys for me has been not rushing.
• 5:35
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to rush my meals, my conversations.
• 5:40
  SPEAKER_00: I don't have to rush through experiences just to check them off a list.
• 5:46
  SPEAKER_00: I've been on a bunch of cruises.
• 5:49
  SPEAKER_00: I plan to sit back and enjoy this one with my bestie.
• 5:53
  SPEAKER_00: No need to rush.
• 5:55
  SPEAKER_00: The food will be there, everything will be there.
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: We can have our coffee, sit on our deck, and watch the world go by.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: What a joy.
• 6:07
  SPEAKER_00: Being near the water has a way of slowing everything down, and that's a fact.
• 6:12
  SPEAKER_00: You walk slower, you breathe deeper, you stop multitasking.
• 6:18
  SPEAKER_00: I have chosen to not have Wi-Fi on the ship for a reason.
• 6:22
  SPEAKER_00: I want to disconnect.
• 6:24
  SPEAKER_00: I have let everybody in my life know Craig is on his own.
• 6:29
  SPEAKER_00: If the robotic cat box acts up, he's on his own.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: If the printer doesn't work, he's on his own.
• 6:35
  SPEAKER_00: I will not be reachable for seven days and eight nights.
• 6:41
  SPEAKER_00: And you realize how much of life you spent moving quickly without ever really being where you were.
• 6:48
  SPEAKER_00: There's joy in letting moments unfold and giving yourself permission to take your time and realizing that nothing bad happens when you slow down.
• 6:58
  SPEAKER_00: In fact, good things happen.
• 7:02
  SPEAKER_00: There's the joy of knowing yourself, another unexpected joy.
• 7:07
  SPEAKER_00: Knowing yourself, really knowing yourself, knowing what you like and what you don't, knowing when you need to rest and when you want connection, knowing when to say yes, and knowing when no is the kinder choice.
• 7:24
  SPEAKER_00: There's joy in not second guessing everything, and not needing outside validation, and trusting your own instincts.
• 7:36
  SPEAKER_01: Think about that, not needing outside validation.
• 7:46
  SPEAKER_01: I got a tap from housekeeping.
• 7:49
  SPEAKER_01: I have a one o'clock checkout, so I can continue.
• 7:52
  SPEAKER_00: Sorry about that little blip there.
• 7:55
  SPEAKER_00: Without all my top-notch equipment, I can't do everything quite right, but I'm getting it.
• 8:00
  SPEAKER_00: So again, we're talking about not second-guessing everything, not needing outside validation, and trusting your own instincts.
• 8:09
  SPEAKER_00: This kind of self-knowledge doesn't come from books or advice.
• 8:13
  SPEAKER_00: It comes from living, from trying things, from getting it wrong, from surviving and learning.
• 8:21
  SPEAKER_00: And when you finally trust yourself, life gets a whole lot easier.
• 8:26
  SPEAKER_00: Because guess what?
• 8:27
  SPEAKER_00: You're smarter than you think.
• 8:30
  SPEAKER_00: You know yourself better than you think.
• 8:33
  SPEAKER_00: The joy of enough.
• 8:36
  SPEAKER_00: I'm working on this one.
• 8:38
  SPEAKER_00: The joy of enough.
• 8:39
  SPEAKER_00: Here's the one that surprised me.
• 8:41
  SPEAKER_00: The joy of enough.
• 8:43
  SPEAKER_00: You have enough plans, enough people, enough stuff, enough noise.
• 8:47
  SPEAKER_00: There's something incredibly satisfying about realizing that you don't need more to feel content.
• 8:54
  SPEAKER_00: We have spent a lifetime of accumulating.
• 8:59
  SPEAKER_00: A lifetime, not just stuff.
• 9:02
  SPEAKER_00: People, things, stuff, napkins, baskets, trash bags, bags.
• 9:11
  SPEAKER_00: Honest to God, we have been accumulating for years.
• 9:15
  SPEAKER_00: Go back and listen to my episode of the Swedish Death Clean.
• 9:19
  SPEAKER_00: At 50 years old, you should stop accumulating and start getting rid of.
• 9:23
  SPEAKER_00: Now I have a little bit of accumulating still going on, but I have gotten rid of an awful lot.
• 9:28
  SPEAKER_00: An awful lot.
• 9:31
  SPEAKER_00: Enough doesn't mean settling, it means appreciating.
• 9:34
  SPEAKER_00: It means enjoying what's right in front of you, of instead of constantly reaching out for what's next.
• 9:41
  SPEAKER_00: Enough is very peaceful.
• 9:43
  SPEAKER_00: And peace, it turns out, is one of the greatest joys of all.
• 9:49
  SPEAKER_00: The joy of being present, being away, especially somewhere calm, makes presence easier.
• 9:56
  SPEAKER_00: You notice the light, the air, the sounds, the feeling of being exactly where you are.
• 10:03
  SPEAKER_00: Presence used to feel like work.
• 10:06
  SPEAKER_00: Now it feels like a gift.
• 10:09
  SPEAKER_00: There's joy in being in your body and being in the moment and not planning the next thing while you're still in the middle of this one.
• 10:20
  SPEAKER_00: This season of life invites us to stop living ahead of ourselves and start living here.
• 10:27
  SPEAKER_00: This is a short episode, but I hope it gave you a lot of information.
• 10:32
  SPEAKER_00: If you're listening to this and thinking, I didn't expect life to feel quite like this, you're not alone.
• 10:38
  SPEAKER_00: There is so much joy in this season, and no one prepares us for it.
• 10:43
  SPEAKER_00: Joy that doesn't shout, joy that doesn't perform, and joy that simply exists when we let it.
• 10:49
  SPEAKER_00: My hope is that wherever you are today, you pause for a moment, take a breath, and notice what feels good right now.
• 10:56
  SPEAKER_00: Because chances are there's more joy than you realize.
• 11:00
  SPEAKER_00: I want to thank you for being here, thank you for listening, and remember, aging ain't for sissies, but it does come with some beautiful and unexpected joys.
• 11:12
  SPEAKER_00: Thanks again.
• 11:13
  SPEAKER_00: Go out and do something positive.