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Transcript

Johnjay and Rich I NEED You To BUTTSLAM My Husband! · Johnjay & Rich On Demand

• 0:00
  Speaker 1: You're on the air.
• 0:01
  Speaker 2: John Jay and Rich, I missed the butt slam.
• 0:03
  Speaker 3: So do we. The butt slam. Why did we stop
• 0:06
  Speaker 3: doing the butt slams, our phone pranks? We had so
• 0:09
  Speaker 3: much fun doing those.
• 0:10
  Speaker 1: We did have fun. I don't know why we don't
• 0:12
  Speaker 1: do them.
• 0:12
  Speaker 2: It's because you needed my story.
• 0:14
  Speaker 3: Are you going to lead us into a butt slam?
• 0:16
  Speaker 4: This is John Jay and Rich.
• 0:18
  Speaker 3: Whoa, you got butt slam.
• 0:23
  Speaker 4: John Jay and Rich. All right. Hi, what up? Hey,
• 0:29
  Speaker 4: me llamo Escortin. I'm listening on iHeartRadio in Oklahoma on
• 0:34
  Speaker 4: 93.7 KRQ Tucson, Z100 Portland, and 147 Kiss FM Phoenix.
• 0:41
  Speaker 4: Thank you very much for everything you do. And I
• 0:44
  Speaker 4: was hoping you could bring back the butt slam phone scam.
• 0:47
  Speaker 4: Butt slam!
• 0:49
  Speaker 3: John Jay and Rich.
• 0:51
  Speaker 1: Phone scam, butt scam, butt slam.
• 0:53
  Speaker 3: We're scanning butts is what we're doing.
• 0:55
  Speaker 1: So this is, you know, it's a fun little prank.
• 0:57
  Speaker 1: We're going to call somebody up. We mess with them
• 0:59
  Speaker 1: on the phone. We have some fun with them. And
• 1:00
  Speaker 1: then they get a hang of it.
• 1:01
  Speaker 2: Butt slam!
• 1:02
  Speaker 3: John Jay and Rich.
• 1:04
  Speaker 1: Watch out! You don't want to get butt slammed!
• 1:09
  Speaker 2: Okay, I've been really excited about this. So my husband
• 1:12
  Speaker 2: just spent all this money putting permanent lights around our house. Okay,
• 1:18
  Speaker 2: like for the holidays, like the holiday lights.
• 1:20
  Speaker 4: Oh, yeah.
• 1:21
  Speaker 2: The permanent.
• 1:21
  Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah.
• 1:22
  Speaker 2: He got them permanently installed.
• 1:24
  Speaker 4: Great.
• 1:24
  Speaker 1: Wonderful.
• 1:26
  Speaker 2: They're mostly for Christmas. But here's the kicker. He's a
• 1:29
  Speaker 2: huge ASU fan. So when it's not the holidays, our
• 1:35
  Speaker 2: house is lit up with gold and maroon light.
• 1:38
  Speaker 1: Love it.
• 1:39
  Speaker 2: Yep, so does he. So does he. But here's the thing.
• 1:43
  Speaker 2: We already got an email from the HOA saying that
• 1:46
  Speaker 2: the lights might not be approved and we may have
• 1:48
  Speaker 2: to take them down.
• 1:49
  Speaker 3: Uh-huh. That's the old HOA letter. I got that same letter.
• 1:53
  Speaker 3: I got that same letter because we had a client
• 1:56
  Speaker 3: of ours put them up and the day they went up,
• 1:58
  Speaker 3: I got a letter and I still haven't taken them
• 2:00
  Speaker 3: down and haven't answered the letter.
• 2:02
  Speaker 2: Here's where the butt slam comes in. We barely know
• 2:05
  Speaker 2: our neighbor's And ever since the HOA reached out, my
• 2:08
  Speaker 2: husband keeps saying, I wish one of these neighbors would
• 2:11
  Speaker 2: say something to my face. I'd give him a piece
• 2:14
  Speaker 2: of my mind. But let me tell you guys, he's
• 2:17
  Speaker 2: a total wuss. Yes, like it's so funny. So he
• 2:22
  Speaker 2: talks so tough when nobody's around. But if you called
• 2:25
  Speaker 2: pretending to be our neighbors and actually confronted him about
• 2:28
  Speaker 2: these lights, he's going to panic.
• 2:30
  Speaker 3: Please let us do this. Please let us do this.
• 2:32
  Speaker 1: Yes, yes.
• 2:33
  Speaker 2: Today he's working from home. So he's literally just sitting
• 2:36
  Speaker 2: at his laptop with his phone like right next to
• 2:39
  Speaker 2: him and he'll answer.
• 2:40
  Speaker 3: I totally get why he married you.
• 2:41
  Speaker 1: This is so funny.
• 2:42
  Speaker 3: I get why he married you. You're unbelievably awesome. What's
• 2:44
  Speaker 3: your husband's name?
• 2:46
  Speaker 2: I don't know if he's going to think that afterwards,
• 2:47
  Speaker 2: but yes, it's a risk I'm willing to take.
• 2:51
  Speaker 1: What's his name?
• 2:52
  Speaker 2: Derek.
• 2:53
  Speaker 1: Okay.
• 2:54
  Speaker 3: The one they call Derek.
• 2:55
  Speaker 1: So what do we do? We call as neighbors?
• 2:58
  Speaker 4: Yes.
• 2:58
  Speaker 3: I would like to be on the homeowners association. I
• 3:02
  Speaker 3: would like to be Rick Barron and I would like to,
• 3:04
  Speaker 3: Challenge him on his light display.
• 3:05
  Speaker 1: Do it. Fantastic.
• 3:07
  Speaker 3: I'm excited about this. And, John Jay, you will be
• 3:10
  Speaker 3: my lovely wife, Stacey Barrett. Stacey Barrett. Uncle Kyle, they're women.
• 3:16
  Speaker 1: It's more funny when you do it.
• 3:17
  Speaker 3: You guys could be our children.
• 3:19
  Speaker 1: Stacey Barrett. All right. I need big words.
• 3:25
  Speaker 3: Oh, yeah.
• 3:26
  Speaker 1: Pedantic.
• 3:26
  Speaker 3: Call him pedantic and pejorative. That's what I hear all
• 3:29
  Speaker 3: the time. Pejorative. Hello?
• 3:39
  Speaker 4: Hello? Oh, hi.
• 3:40
  Speaker 3: Is this Derek?
• 3:42
  Speaker 1: Yeah, this is Derek.
• 3:43
  Speaker 3: Hey, Derek. Rick Barron, your neighbor. Also happen to be
• 3:46
  Speaker 3: a member of the HOA. How are you this morning?
• 3:48
  Speaker 3: Did I catch you at a good time? I mean, yeah.
• 3:50
  Speaker 3: What's going on? Oh, excellent. I am your neighbor right
• 3:53
  Speaker 3: on the other side of the wall to you. And
• 3:55
  Speaker 3: I guess you must be a big ol' ASU fan. Congratulations.
• 4:00
  Speaker 3: I saw your new lights up there.
• 4:01
  Speaker 2: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
• 4:04
  Speaker 3: You an ASU alum? Yeah, I actually am. Big fan
• 4:07
  Speaker 3: of Sparky, are you? My wife and I, we're Scottsdale
• 4:10
  Speaker 3: Community College. We are the fighting artichokes. Wouldn't hurt you
• 4:13
  Speaker 3: to put a little green in there for the artichokes
• 4:16
  Speaker 3: every now and then, huh? Oh, dear. We are the
• 4:19
  Speaker 3: Scottsdale artichokes. Hey, listen, we sent you a letter here
• 4:28
  Speaker 3: from the HOA and you did not respond regarding the
• 4:31
  Speaker 3: brightness and the permission to put the lights up. I
• 4:34
  Speaker 3: don't know if you know that that's a significant fine. Uh,
• 4:37
  Speaker 3: when did you, you sent a letter, you said? Sent
• 4:39
  Speaker 3: a letter, yes, right to your house. In fact, I
• 4:40
  Speaker 3: dropped it off in your mailbox. Kind of hard to
• 4:42
  Speaker 3: believe that you would have.
• 4:43
  Speaker 1: Missed it, actually.
• 4:44
  Speaker 3: In fact, since I didn't hear from you, I put
• 4:46
  Speaker 3: another one in there. I'm your neighbor, Rick Barrett. Oh, no, no,
• 4:49
  Speaker 3: I gotcha, I gotcha. My wife, Stacey Barrett, is making
• 4:51
  Speaker 3: breakfast right now. Stacey, how's it going over there?
• 4:54
  Speaker 1: It's going good, baby.
• 4:55
  Speaker 3: I'm talking to the light guy. So, interesting problem with
• 4:58
  Speaker 3: your lights. Now, this is embarrassing. I don't want to
• 5:00
  Speaker 3: embarrass my wife, but I feel like I need to
• 5:02
  Speaker 3: talk to you about this. So it looks like, you know,
• 5:05
  Speaker 3: it looks like the runway of the airport, you know,
• 5:09
  Speaker 3: at night. It's really, really bright. And my wife and I,
• 5:12
  Speaker 3: when we like to get intimate, she doesn't like any
• 5:14
  Speaker 3: light at all. So all I'm seeing is the lights
• 5:18
  Speaker 3: coming through. And my wife, Stacey, you won't get undressed
• 5:21
  Speaker 3: in front of the lights, will you, baby?
• 5:23
  Speaker 1: Oh, don't be talking about that stuff in the bedroom.
• 5:25
  Speaker 3: She won't get undressed in front of the lights, and
• 5:27
  Speaker 3: I haven't been able to make love, sweet, sweet, slow,
• 5:31
  Speaker 3: sexy love to my wife in weeks now because of
• 5:34
  Speaker 3: your lights. And I would like you from, I don't know,
• 5:37
  Speaker 3: 9.30 to 10.30, maybe turn them down and give me
• 5:39
  Speaker 3: about an hour to make my move. Otherwise, I mean,
• 5:43
  Speaker 3: that's a pretty hefty fine there. That's a hefty fine.
• 5:46
  Speaker 3: I'd like to fine you. It's a $ 3, 000 fine. I
• 5:49
  Speaker 3: get you.
• 5:49
  Speaker 1: I get you.
• 5:50
  Speaker 3: Well, listen, so, I mean, I do turn them off.
• 5:53
  Speaker 1: Or they get dimmed down around 11 o'clock.
• 5:55
  Speaker 3: No, no, they do not because I've been trying to make–
• 5:58
  Speaker 3: remember last night, Stacy, when I tried to make sweet
• 6:00
  Speaker 3: love to you at around 11.15 and the lights were
• 6:03
  Speaker 3: so bright? And you were like, I am not getting
• 6:05
  Speaker 3: naked for you, Rick Barron.
• 6:06
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God, baby, stop. Just stop telling him all
• 6:09
  Speaker 1: our special stuff.
• 6:11
  Speaker 3: So what I've done here is I've found your password.
• 6:13
  Speaker 3: Sparky is your wireless network. I've just downloaded the Jellyfish app.
• 6:18
  Speaker 3: And from those hours, I've picked a nice soft amber
• 6:22
  Speaker 3: so that when I make love, then it's not, you know,
• 6:24
  Speaker 3: it's not overpowering.
• 6:25
  Speaker 2: Hold on, rewind for a second.
• 6:27
  Speaker 3: I have your wireless. I've reprogrammed your lights. So every
• 6:31
  Speaker 3: night from about 8.30 to 11.30, it'll be just a soft,
• 6:35
  Speaker 3: soft amber, like every five lights or so. And then
• 6:38
  Speaker 3: when my artichokes play, I've turned to green on the weekends.
• 6:41
  Speaker 3: Let's go, Scottsdale! Fightin' artichokes! We got a really good
• 6:44
  Speaker 3: field hockey team.
• 6:45
  Speaker 4: Whatever HOA thing you're telling me I did, I think
• 6:48
  Speaker 4: that's a serious violation that is probably criminal violation.
• 6:51
  Speaker 3: No, I don't think so. And I am looking forward
• 6:53
  Speaker 3: to making love tonight.
• 6:54
  Speaker 4: Mm-hmm, baby.
• 6:55
  Speaker 1: You know, there's other things we can do.
• 6:57
  Speaker 4: But you can do whatever you want with your life,
• 7:00
  Speaker 4: but you're not touching my life.
• 7:02
  Speaker 1: You're not doing anything with my life.
• 7:04
  Speaker 3: I've already done that. I've already programmed it. So you're welcome.
• 7:07
  Speaker 3: And then you won't have to pay.
• 7:08
  Speaker 2: Where are you at right now?
• 7:09
  Speaker 3: Where are you at right now? I'm standing on my
• 7:11
  Speaker 3: back porch talking to you on my cell phone. Can
• 7:12
  Speaker 3: you see? I could wave hello to you over the wall.
• 7:14
  Speaker 3: I could jump over a little bit.
• 7:15
  Speaker 1: No, baby.
• 7:16
  Speaker 3: I'm sunbathing right now. Oh, don't look over the wall.
• 7:18
  Speaker 3: I'm sunbathing. She's shy. She's shy. She's sunbathing. Don't look
• 7:22
  Speaker 3: over the wall. Don't look at my wife. If you
• 7:24
  Speaker 3: want to talk about this in person, we can do that.
• 7:26
  Speaker 2: We can do that right now if you want to.
• 7:27
  Speaker 3: Do you want to wrestle me in your front yard? Peek-a-boo, Derek.
• 7:30
  Speaker 1: Peek-a-boo.
• 7:31
  Speaker 4: Peek-a-boo.
• 7:31
  Speaker 3: I'm outside right now if you want. I'm outside right
• 7:34
  Speaker 3: now if you want. I will make love to my woman,
• 7:36
  Speaker 3: and I will come out and wrestle you in the
• 7:38
  Speaker 3: front yard. Is that what you want? Whatever you want
• 7:39
  Speaker 3: to your wife.
• 7:42
  Speaker 2: I don't give a f * * *.
• 7:44
  Speaker 1: Oh, my God.
• 7:45
  Speaker 4: Yes. Good morning, sweetheart. Yes.
• 7:48
  Speaker 3: Oh, my God.
• 7:50
  Speaker 2: Did you tell them everything on your mind? Did you
• 7:56
  Speaker 2: let them have it?
• 7:57
  Speaker 3: I'm literally stomping around our house, darling. Where are you at?
• 8:02
  Speaker 2: Is there somebody outside? Don't worry about that. Don't worry
• 8:04
  Speaker 2: about that. I'll come back with coffee. You just got
• 8:08
  Speaker 2: butt slammed. Butt slammed.
• 8:10
  Speaker 3: Whoa, you got butt slammed.
• 8:14
  Speaker 1: Johnny Rich on the radio.
• 8:16
  Speaker 3: In the morning.
• 8:18
  Speaker 4: FM. Cool.
• 8:19
  Speaker 3: In the morning.
• 8:20
  Speaker 1: In the morning. Just jokes, Derek. You're fine. You're just fine.
• 8:26
  Speaker 1: He's having fun, yes. Okay, so this is the radio. Okay,
• 8:29
  Speaker 1: I got it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're on the radio. No,
• 8:33
  Speaker 1: nobody knows. Nobody cares.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: They're fine.
• 8:35
  Speaker 1: All right, bro.
• 8:35
  Speaker 4: Go Devils.
• 8:36
  Speaker 1: Forks up. Thanks, brother.
• 8:37
  Speaker 2: Thanks for jumping on with us, Janae.
• 8:38
  Speaker 3: That was cute.
• 8:39
  Speaker 1: I'm glad you brought it back.
• 8:40
  Speaker 3: You got it, guys. I'm going to get you for this, honey.
• 8:50
  Speaker 3: I'm going to get my revamp. My butt is getting
• 8:55
  Speaker 3: slammed tonight.
• 8:57
  Speaker 2: 11 p.m., you're going to get it.
• 8:59
  Speaker 3: You, my friend, have just been butt slammed.