Latest / Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha / Rabbi Moshe Haber: Clarity Amidst Distraction: Building a Focused Life 8.31.25

Transcript

Rabbi Moshe Haber: Clarity Amidst Distraction: Building a Focused Life 8.31.25 · Rabbi Moshe Haber - Daily Mussar/Weekly Perasha

• 0:00
  Two points on on Friday, we brought up a concert Friday
• 0:05
  morning. It stemmed from the Paris Shah
• 0:09
  and that was that the opening of this passage Paris Shah.
• 0:14
  We were told that the judge has to make sure not to accept
• 0:18
  bribery not until the judgement both takeer Panem, which meant
• 0:23
  as a judge don't show favoritism in any sense, even in in
• 0:27
  listening to the arguments of either side.
• 0:29
  Don't don't give one guy more of a smile.
• 0:31
  The other guy don't stand up for one and not the other.
• 0:34
  Don't at all show any sort of emotion to one side and don't
• 0:39
  tilt the judgement at all. So it's don't don't don't when
• 0:42
  we're talking to judges. So he asked he's safe.
• 0:47
  Like what about the do's? What about telling where Dianne
• 0:49
  has to do? He has to have a clear mind has
• 0:52
  to be a Tami Hakam all the rules.
• 0:54
  So that seems to be Moshe was talking about the key by a shot
• 0:57
  of short dream and show for team.
• 1:00
  He's focused on removing the negatives.
• 1:03
  What about the positive of the judge?
• 1:05
  They said as a key point. I think every US has to know in
• 1:08
  every area and that is that's what I was telling you in
• 1:12
  general, he's starting off in a good place.
• 1:16
  Every one of us one way or another and talk to judges
• 1:18
  first. He's starting off in a good
• 1:19
  spot, but probably dealing with a decent person who has the
• 1:22
  right mindset, who committed to become a Diane who wants to do
• 1:26
  the right thing, who wants to bring out the truth.
• 1:27
  He's a good guy. The problem the person faces as
• 1:31
  a judge are different things that pull him away, different
• 1:35
  things that lure him off track. So he starts off, let's say a
• 1:38
  young guy commits to become a judge.
• 1:40
  He wants to do the right thing. He wants to bring out truth in
• 1:42
  the world. Very, very, very much.
• 1:44
  Motivated, idealistic, all good. Then what happens?
• 1:47
  He's dealing with the case. One guy he knows, one guy's
• 1:50
  friends with him. One guy, he supported him,
• 1:53
  whatever it is, and now he's interested in focusing on that
• 1:57
  one side or Shanghai, which is bribery.
• 1:59
  Bribery, according to TADA, is considered one of the most,
• 2:03
  maybe the most distracting existence is bribery Shanghai.
• 2:07
  We learned to meet Shahukhad. You and the person become one.
• 2:11
  You can't separate yourself from him.
• 2:12
  In fact, the basuk spells out Shanghai.
• 2:15
  Shanghai has the power to blind the person and you cannot get
• 2:18
  around. You can be at Sadiq and bribery
• 2:21
  blinds and the TADA is telling you like this, You have a judge.
• 2:25
  He's probably a good guy originally.
• 2:27
  His challenges, different things in life come in and they take
• 2:31
  him away from his situation, away from his honesty and away
• 2:35
  from his focus. That's true with Diane, the
• 2:38
  rabbi's right. That is true with judges.
• 2:41
  But these Prince Hakim are not only referring to judge, they're
• 2:45
  referring to every Jew. The words are chauffeur team to
• 2:51
  have judges and law enforcement when it comes to all your gates,
• 2:56
  which means all your shadek also means we've heard this before.
• 3:00
  Your gates, your your mouth is considered a gate to your body.
• 3:03
  It's all your ears and your nose, all your openings and you
• 3:06
  have to watch everything that comes in, everything that goes
• 3:08
  out, which means every person inherently is a good person.
• 3:12
  The challenge is these different things that distract them.
• 3:15
  All right, And this really has to be our mindset because the
• 3:18
  person has to recognize myself and side.
• 3:22
  I'm probably a good guy, but I do have many things that
• 3:24
  distract me and many things that blow me down.
• 3:27
  I'll segue into this point you say about my lahim kulam alvim,
• 3:32
  kulam berim kulam giborim. We all love Hashem, We all love
• 3:36
  each other. Great.
• 3:38
  They're all very strong. They serve God with might.
• 3:41
  What does it mean? The barur?
• 3:43
  The barur, A clear doesn't mean they're clear.
• 3:47
  A clear means as an Angel, the strength of an Angel is the fact
• 3:51
  that he has clarity to recognize the truth separate from the
• 3:56
  false. He has the ability to understand
• 3:59
  what's distracting, what's convincing me, what's pulling me
• 4:02
  in. It's informed for a person to
• 4:04
  realize in his own life how much you and I are pulled in by
• 4:08
  outside things. How much would being lured and
• 4:12
  being attracted and being pulled in all day long.
• 4:16
  And it's all external distractions taken away from our
• 4:19
  existence. If someone says something to you
• 4:22
  that hurts the ego or drop, that is a distraction.
• 4:25
  There's something pulling you into a fight.
• 4:27
  If someone, if there's an advertisement pulling in
• 4:29
  something that's not appropriate, that is outside
• 4:32
  external pulling in. Anything we hear that gets us
• 4:35
  upset, anything we hear that gets us interested in doing,
• 4:40
  acting out of our norms, all these things are external
• 4:44
  distraction. This works across every area of
• 4:47
  life. And something impressed us to do
• 4:49
  is I need to be barreled, which means I need to be clear.
• 4:52
  I need to have a clear mind. I need to recognize who I am,
• 4:57
  what I believe in, what I want, what I want my family to look
• 5:00
  like. I'm not going to go for all the
• 5:03
  external distraction. That's why they're telling the
• 5:05
  judges that's on his eye. Any don't do this.
• 5:09
  Don't be pulled this way. Don't be pulled that way.
• 5:10
  Don't be pulled the other way. In other words, you have to
• 5:13
  clean out everything else, clean all the noise and stay focused
• 5:17
  for what you believe in and focus for what you started with.
• 5:20
  You know, I was thinking about this all the time.
• 5:22
  A lot of people in public service, especially in America
• 5:25
  and the government as well, government in general, I'm sure
• 5:29
  many of them got involved, some degree of idealism and some
• 5:33
  degree of motivation and they wanted to help the their
• 5:36
  community and stuff like that. Check at the end of time, at the
• 5:40
  end of law, how many of them are still involved for that reason?
• 5:43
  How many of them did not get interested in power and fame?
• 5:48
  0 Right. And why is that the case?
• 5:50
  Because you get pulled in and in every area of life you get built
• 5:53
  in. I say this is about the Raven it
• 5:55
  but myself, right. Whatever I had first got
• 5:58
  involved, it was fully learning. It wasn't even teaching.
• 6:01
  It wasn't even speaking or anything else.
• 6:04
  It was learning. I like to learn.
• 6:06
  I like to give over learn. That was the whole deal.
• 6:08
  But then one SEC you go to a wedding, you know, then that
• 6:13
  distracts you. They I all these have been silly
• 6:15
  things and all these nonsense and the way he's saying so one
• 6:18
  second, what percentage? I told us to a rabbit.
• 6:20
  I said what percentage of your rabbi ISM is actually Torah, and
• 6:26
  what percentage is all the other nonsense that exists?
• 6:29
  The politics, the talk, the distraction, the things in every
• 6:33
  area of life. You are tempted.
• 6:36
  It has a way of pulling you down in an unbelievably crazy way.
• 6:40
  And a person has to be barur. I see barur and what they want
• 6:44
  for themselves. Barur on their focus to have
• 6:47
  that clarity. This is the makeup of an Angel.
• 6:49
  Yes, it's the make up of an Angel because the world has a
• 6:52
  way of distriking us and pulling us off of our focus.
• 6:56
  You know, we're starting about to start your new year, your
• 6:59
  summer. It was great.
• 7:00
  Now you're starting your year and you're coming to the fray,
• 7:04
  right? I was talking to my kids last
• 7:06
  night. I'm trying to like get them into
• 7:08
  the zone and say, guys, whatever worked in the summer.
• 7:10
  No, but OK, Sham was a great summer.
• 7:13
  I was also for me personally had a unique situation which ended
• 7:16
  up working out or just that. Normally the winter I'm with a
• 7:22
  lot of family. I live next to my laws while the
• 7:24
  kids are around. And this summer every weekdays I
• 7:27
  was in Lakewood, I stayed in my own laws house and Shabbats.
• 7:31
  I had to peel them away from. I imagine it's difficult peel my
• 7:35
  kids away from leaving their grandparents and leaving their
• 7:38
  cousins who are coming into Lakewood and then the leaving
• 7:41
  that pulled them out of the pool every single week.
• 7:43
  Got to pull them out of the pool.
• 7:44
  All right. It was a whole thing and I got
• 7:47
  them into the car and it was like a process.
• 7:49
  Every week I feel a couple of hours.
• 7:50
  It's the whole process. At the end of the day.
• 7:54
  It was by far the greatest thing that happened to my family was
• 7:58
  to have Friday nights alone and to have Shabbat, Shabbat day to
• 8:03
  have the shul to have this thing.
• 8:05
  You know, 2-3 years ago I was pretty much in Brooklyn and in
• 8:10
  Lakewood every Shabbat. It was beautiful.
• 8:12
  I got to sit and learn. Personally, I got to sit and
• 8:14
  learn. Ms. There I my in laws would
• 8:16
  have the meal. I woke off the meal at maybe
• 8:19
  halfway through the meal, I woke out, I go to the local show,
• 8:23
  maybe came home for 10 minutes in the middle.
• 8:25
  My kids came and came and went a little bit and I was there for
• 8:28
  I'm not exaggerating. I I'd say 6-7 hours Shabbat day
• 8:32
  myself. It was unbelievable.
• 8:35
  It was going to end in in the learning sense, but personally,
• 8:38
  when it came to teaching and doing, I wasn't doing numbers.
• 8:41
  They didn't let that one last time, huh?
• 8:43
  They didn't let that one and I was thinking about it came out
• 8:46
  in the shoe. Couple of things were obviously
• 8:48
  continuing the whole winter away in the summer and also for my
• 8:51
  family. He backed up my mind.
• 8:52
  I thought to myself if I can get my family their own place in the
• 8:54
  summer, it would do well for them and it did.
• 8:57
  So now we're going into Brooklyn and now we're going into
• 9:01
  everyone around. For me, again, this is changes
• 9:02
  for me. For many people, deal was old
• 9:05
  family together and Brooklyn's living separate.
• 9:07
  For me, it's the office. So I have to get my case into
• 9:09
  the zone and get myself into the zone and I want to keep that
• 9:13
  focus. What happens is the moment you
• 9:14
  step into Brooklyn, whatever your original Brooklyn routine
• 9:18
  was, it is whatever your distractions and how they are,
• 9:21
  the person has to keep a blute of clarity.
• 9:25
  Every time you have a change, you have either opportunity for
• 9:29
  growth or the opposite. The answer does is literally
• 9:34
  like a boxer has a boxer do it has a boxer take out the other
• 9:38
  guy. It's not because of the might of
• 9:39
  his of his punch. It's not solely the might of his
• 9:41
  punch. It's getting the guy off his
• 9:43
  feet to drop and then you get it, right?
• 9:45
  Yeah, it said. I, you'll know.
• 9:46
  I know from yeshiva days. I never found the guy who fell
• 9:50
  off track in middle of the year. They get one out, they get bored
• 9:56
  or whatever, but they don't change.
• 9:58
  They change. They could fall off track every
• 10:01
  time there's even the smallest tweak in the schedule, any small
• 10:04
  tweak in the schedule yet, said comes in and says, OK, the hour
• 10:09
  change, the schedule change. Now let me change your mind.
• 10:12
  I got you. So you have to keep in your mind
• 10:15
  a bitty root, a clarity of what you believe in every time you're
• 10:20
  about to see a change. And this clarity has to stay
• 10:22
  with us. So it's saying a person has to
• 10:24
  have clarity and direction in life like a judge, just to make
• 10:28
  sure to avoid the distractions. And a person has to have clarity
• 10:31
  in the direction of their family as they move into the new zone.
• 10:35
  You have to have this bitty root because the world that we live
• 10:38
  in is as foggy as dark when it comes to this area.
• 10:42
  I'll darken them and say darken mean as confusing as one can
• 10:46
  imagine. You think you see clarity in
• 10:48
  life. I think I see clarity.
• 10:50
  We live in a world that is extremely confusing and
• 10:53
  distracting. Everything has gotten everything
• 10:57
  in those areas has gotten more distracting, more confusing,
• 11:01
  more pulling you 1000 ways. And you have to have clear in
• 11:06
  your mind your own beliefs, your own wish, what you want you
• 11:10
  found it to look like when you want to home, to look like
• 11:13
  before you step in. You can't go into your home in
• 11:16
  Brooklyn should say, OK, we're going to go in and it'll be what
• 11:19
  it'll be. Let it fall into place.
• 11:21
  No, because all these different instructions, like I said, all
• 11:23
  these different mindsets are going to come in and take you
• 11:27
  away from your focus to go in. Say I have a plan.
• 11:32
  And we've discussed this many times.
• 11:34
  You can't step into something. We're at a plan.
• 11:36
  I have a plan. I have an image the way I want
• 11:39
  it to look. I'm going to go in, I'm going to
• 11:41
  have that bitty root, if you have that clarity and you'll be
• 11:44
  able to handle. And this is how the world is.
• 11:46
  The world that we live in is completely meant to be upside
• 11:49
  down. You know, the classic Gamera.
• 11:52
  But the rabbi borderline passed away and he went upstairs.
• 11:56
  This is what Gamma says. And someone asked him what you
• 11:58
  see. And he said, I saw the opposite
• 12:01
  world, 'cause I saw those who are an upside down world because
• 12:07
  I saw those who are famous and there's in the world down here
• 12:11
  and I really that well known upstairs.
• 12:13
  And the people who are well known down here, the opposite
• 12:17
  people who are now well known down here, those people, you
• 12:21
  know, they're a big deal upstairs Stood out by her this.
• 12:23
  And he said, you didn't see an opposite damn word, Olan Balur.
• 12:26
  You saw that same word. You saw you saw clarity.
• 12:29
  That is clarity. The world that we live in right
• 12:32
  here, everything that you see is an illusion.
• 12:35
  That doesn't mean that you'd say, oh, I'm touching and
• 12:37
  feeling fake stuff. He just means all the talk, all
• 12:40
  the hype, all the, the, just the, the, the, all the
• 12:44
  distractions, all people talk about during the summer, all the
• 12:47
  things that go on. Much of it is fake.
• 12:49
  You know, I noticed something, the strange opinion about
• 12:53
  running organization. My opinion is that during the
• 12:55
  summer, after work, I'm planning for the winter, but I don't like
• 13:00
  the overtalk during the summer. I noticed at certain
• 13:03
  institutions, there's a lot of talk about them during the
• 13:06
  summertime and then in the winter, there's no talk.
• 13:08
  I we know something that going on right now, but in general,
• 13:11
  and there's a lot of talk. And I think one of the reasons
• 13:13
  that that happens obviously because you're starting a new
• 13:15
  year, but another reason that happens because when you're
• 13:19
  separate from the place talk is you know, about a distant place.
• 13:23
  When you're there, you're living it.
• 13:25
  A lot of things that people say don't really, they're not really
• 13:27
  true. A lot of things that people are
• 13:28
  just imagining are not going to come to be.
• 13:31
  So they're talking about, oh, we're going to hire this guy.
• 13:33
  It's going to be unbelievable changing.
• 13:34
  You want to add this and add that and while you're living it
• 13:37
  during the year doesn't really make such a tangible change
• 13:40
  that's such a big deal. But when you're distant from it,
• 13:43
  there's a lot of raid and talk and speech and he creates an
• 13:47
  imagination that's bigger than life, larger than life.
• 13:49
  And it's all part of this illusion world.
• 13:52
  I, that's my personal opinion about summer changes when it
• 13:56
  comes to winter institution, right?
• 13:58
  But I think the planning is important.
• 14:00
  I hit the plan, but the overtalk and the community has all this
• 14:05
  hype and these things. I think it's very dangerous.
• 14:08
  I don't think it's very much as people want to talk, I say I
• 14:11
  think about this, I'll give you an example here as an example
• 14:14
  you have, if it comes to our news, they know when they want
• 14:18
  to drop a story. If someone wants to do something
• 14:20
  that's a little bit embarrassing, when do they drop
• 14:22
  it? On like a Friday afternoon
• 14:24
  weekend, right? And they said because and that
• 14:27
  story's not going to catch anything, right?
• 14:30
  You're not going to pick up or something else.
• 14:31
  If you would have a community story during an off time, I
• 14:35
  think as well, they have a community story during an off
• 14:37
  time. It's not going to carry the same
• 14:40
  weight. It's not going to be spoken
• 14:41
  about the same. If something like whatever's
• 14:44
  going on in the community now would happen during the winter,
• 14:47
  it would. Of course, the winter's also
• 14:48
  everyone's together, but there's a certain ear and a certain, you
• 14:52
  know, what's going on. Everyone's talking about a deal,
• 14:54
  but what's going to happen in Brooklyn that makes these things
• 14:57
  much bigger deal? It's all part of this
• 14:58
  distraction world to be living. So what am I saying?
• 15:02
  I'm saying we all have to have our own focus and our own
• 15:04
  clarity and our own way of thinking, and we have to keep
• 15:08
  that in mind as we step into the new zone.
• 15:11
  Keep that in mind. He kept that in mind when he
• 15:12
  came into the summer, and that helped.
• 15:14
  You have a summer and you keep it in mind as you go into the
• 15:17
  winter. And you say, I told my kids all
• 15:20
  I want for my family what I want the afternoon to look like, what
• 15:24
  I want dinner to look like. What do you want your Shabbat to
• 15:27
  look like? Have that preludes.
• 15:29
  Should you have that clarity, have that focus.
• 15:32
  The more a person is clear, more a person is not pulled by
• 15:38
  everything. I'll tell you how I judge people
• 15:40
  personally. If they have to do everything
• 15:43
  the community does and they have to go to deal on their summer,
• 15:46
  which we all have to do, they have to go to Aruba during the
• 15:49
  intercession. They have to go here for school.
• 15:51
  They have to go there. That means that there are risks
• 15:55
  of being pulled constantly. If you're being pulled, you
• 15:59
  don't have. Now, you could be a great
• 16:00
  person, not saying that at all, but you don't have the you may
• 16:03
  not have the clarity and the focus to build your family the
• 16:07
  way you want. You have to have that personal
• 16:10
  focus, independence and belief of your own of what you want.
• 16:14
  And then you get involved with everyone else.
• 16:16
  Of course, we love being together.
• 16:17
  We love being around everyone. I love being around my in laws.
• 16:20
  All that's great, but you have to have your own personal
• 16:24
  clarity. If you don't have Beirut, you
• 16:27
  don't have your own opinions, you don't have your own
• 16:30
  direction of life. If you just go on what
• 16:31
  everyone's saying and talking about, I'm busy with, and you
• 16:35
  have a risk of having a certain hollow existence.
• 16:39
  You need to have your own beliefs.
• 16:40
  You need to have your own clarity.
• 16:42
  You need to have built your own way of life, your plan for your
• 16:45
  family. And then you step in and with
• 16:48
  that clarity, you're able to throw it off all everyone's
• 16:50
  saying and everyone's pulling you different ways and all the
• 16:52
  talk that everyone's talking about, but you have your own
• 16:54
  direction. You know, at the beginning of
• 16:56
  the summer, I was hearing about donations that people were
• 17:00
  giving a different shuls and you heard so and so did this.
• 17:02
  So and so did that. And I said, you know, I, I, I
• 17:05
  feel it's a shame because now they can do everyone's going to
• 17:08
  talk about one guy gave money in Aliyah and everyone's going to
• 17:10
  talk about the whole community. There's something wrong with
• 17:13
  that because, you know, we have to have a certain level.
• 17:16
  It's a little shallow in my opinion, to be so busy with one
• 17:19
  guy did by that, by the way, breakdown the numbers.
• 17:22
  If you think about it, that too is an illusion.
• 17:24
  Many people have gained a lot more money to charity than that
• 17:27
  person than those people did a just at the scene and the moment
• 17:31
  and the and the beginning of the summer talk and a lot of stuff
• 17:34
  made into a bigger deal. You have to understand we are
• 17:37
  literally seeing illusions left and right and the community is
• 17:40
  structured that way. The Jewish world is structured
• 17:42
  that way. I'm in Lakewood now in the
• 17:44
  summer. Lakewood has a lot of illusion
• 17:46
  too. It's all the whatever reason is
• 17:48
  a lot of distraction, a lot of people making things looked a
• 17:50
  certain way. And you have to have a certain
• 17:53
  sense of belief of what you hold of a what you think in life,
• 17:58
  your own personal opinions, your own personal structure.
• 18:01
  And then you step into Brooklyn, you step into the world and you
• 18:04
  say, OK, I'm going to be your short fit and a short fit.
• 18:07
  I'm going to be a judge and enforcement to keep out everyone
• 18:11
  saying keep out all the different things that take us
• 18:13
  down. I have my strong focus.
• 18:16
  I step in with that might I don't allow anyone to take me
• 18:19
  off my game and I'm like a malach.
• 18:22
  I'm barur, I'm clear. When you have a clear mind of
• 18:25
  what you want, you won't make mistakes, you won't make the
• 18:28
  wrong decisions, you won't get busy with everyone's talking
• 18:31
  about and you'll build your family.
• 18:33
  Interesting thing 'cause this anything I notice in the world
• 18:37
  that she's looking rather can be married.
• 18:39
  People that are famous are more loves than they want to get
• 18:41
  married to them. It's interesting stuff that I
• 18:44
  have, which is the person, the family, it's got their own
• 18:48
  twist, a little bit of their own twist, which means they're part
• 18:52
  of the community. They, well, they're everything's
• 18:56
  great about them, but they have their own certain style.
• 18:59
  In the chuduch world, they are much more sought after than the
• 19:04
  guy that everyone knows and everyone sees and everyone's
• 19:06
  friendly with all the time. Because there's a certain level
• 19:09
  of strength when you have a degree of independence.
• 19:11
  If you do one thing different, one thing about your family
• 19:15
  that's independent and that's on your own, people actually are
• 19:18
  impressed by that. It turns out that creates more
• 19:23
  of a, you know, instead of trying to be like everyone else.
• 19:25
  I'm thinking that people don't like you that way.
• 19:27
  People like you more when you have a certain twist to your
• 19:30
  family. Something about you is unique.
• 19:32
  You have a certain way of thinking ever something that you
• 19:34
  do. You leave the family a certain
• 19:36
  way, whatever it is for you. If you have that, Sir, because
• 19:39
  it displays direction and it displays focus and a person
• 19:43
  needs to have that. When you have that, people, I
• 19:46
  actually like you more. Instead of trying to be like
• 19:48
  everyone else and being busy what everyone else is talking
• 19:51
  about and busy with. You have to have your own
• 19:54
  Beirut. And when you have that, you can
• 19:56
  build your family and yourself. And the strongest possible is
• 20:00
  how I think is how I try to live my own life.
• 20:02
  I think this is the way to give a stop this.