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Transcript

The “I’ll Slow Down Later” Trap: Why Burnout Keeps Following You · Hustle Rebels: Burnout Recovery for Over-Achievers

• 0:00
  SPEAKER_00: So everybody is posting their adorable first day of school photos this week.
• 0:04
  SPEAKER_00: Meanwhile, I'm looking like an absolute troll walking the dogs while the neighborhood is outside taking photos of their family at 7 20 a.m.
• 0:15
  SPEAKER_00: Everyone knows who the neighborhood spinster is now, at least with dogs and not cats.
• 0:19
  SPEAKER_00: But I guess I didn't get the memo to wait an extra 15 minutes while they all walk to school this morning.
• 0:24
  SPEAKER_00: This is a weekly recharge, the part of the Hustle Rebels where I get a little bit more personal about the shit in my life and see if it resonates with the shit in your life and how we can just get through it all together with some different nervous system regulation techniques.
• 0:39
  SPEAKER_00: And if you like it, feel free to subscribe, like, leave a comment because I like to know what's going on in your life too.
• 0:46
  SPEAKER_00: It's also a newsletter, so you can subscribe to get it in your email by hitting the links below.
• 0:51
  SPEAKER_00: Anyway, let's just move on.
• 0:54
  SPEAKER_00: So I don't have any kids.
• 0:56
  SPEAKER_00: My September does not include a school supply list, drop-offs, new teachers, or discovering at 9 p.m.
• 1:05
  SPEAKER_00: that somebody needs a poster board by tomorrow morning.
• 1:09
  SPEAKER_00: Yet I still feel the shift.
• 1:11
  SPEAKER_00: There's something about September that collectively just feels like all right, the fun is over, back to real life.
• 1:20
  SPEAKER_00: And I started wondering, why the fuck do we do that?
• 1:23
  SPEAKER_00: Why have we collectively all decided that summer is when we're allowed to have more space?
• 1:30
  SPEAKER_00: And that September is when we're supposed to just tighten everything back up again.
• 1:35
  SPEAKER_00: Like a sphincter.
• 1:36
  SPEAKER_00: I don't know.
• 1:37
  SPEAKER_00: Somewhere along the way, summer became our permission slip.
• 1:40
  SPEAKER_00: Leave work early, sit outside longer, take the trip, have dinner be whatever the hell is in the fridge.
• 1:46
  SPEAKER_00: Leave a weekend open.
• 1:48
  SPEAKER_00: Say, eh, we'll just figure it out today.
• 1:51
  SPEAKER_00: And most importantly, we don't feel nearly as guilty about it.
• 1:55
  SPEAKER_00: Then Labor Day hits and suddenly it's just time to get serious again.
• 1:59
  SPEAKER_00: Calendars fill up, schedules change, vacations are over, and everyone starts talking about getting back into a routine.
• 2:08
  SPEAKER_00: Almost like the mid-year New Year's resolution.
• 2:11
  SPEAKER_00: And before we're even overwhelmed, we're starting to prepare ourselves to be overwhelmed.
• 2:17
  SPEAKER_00: See, your nervous system doesn't know that it's September.
• 2:20
  SPEAKER_00: It just knows that suddenly there's more demand and less recovery, more commitments, more decisions, more people needing shit from you.
• 2:30
  SPEAKER_00: So you brace.
• 2:31
  SPEAKER_00: And that is a pattern that I know extremely well.
• 2:35
  SPEAKER_00: Why am I so familiar with that pattern?
• 2:38
  SPEAKER_00: Well, I spent years having almost no control over my time.
• 2:42
  SPEAKER_00: As a firefighter paramedic, the tones dropped and you went.
• 2:45
  SPEAKER_00: Eating?
• 2:46
  SPEAKER_00: Too bad.
• 2:47
  SPEAKER_00: Sleeping, not anymore.
• 2:49
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever you were doing stopped because something else immediately became more important.
• 2:55
  SPEAKER_00: I literally had no idea what holidays were until the random Monday morning with zero traffic, which is absolutely unusual for Massachusetts.
• 3:04
  SPEAKER_00: If you know, you know.
• 3:05
  SPEAKER_00: And then I left that career and somehow I recreated the same thing for myself.
• 3:10
  SPEAKER_00: No tones, no chief, nobody forcing me, but I was dropping my own Dan Tones.
• 3:16
  SPEAKER_00: I conditioned myself to fill my own schedule to the brim because if I didn't, I would feel guilty.
• 3:22
  SPEAKER_00: Can you relate to that?
• 3:24
  SPEAKER_00: Another meeting, another project, another thing I could squeeze into my calendar.
• 3:29
  SPEAKER_00: And always the same promises.
• 3:31
  SPEAKER_00: I'll slow down when things settle down, except they don't.
• 3:36
  SPEAKER_00: September becomes October, October becomes the holidays, then January comes, and apparently we need to reinvent our entire existence.
• 3:45
  SPEAKER_00: Then spring gets busy, and before we know it, we're saying again, I'll slow down this summer.
• 3:50
  SPEAKER_00: We've basically created this annual subscription to postponing our lives until the grand finale of retirement.
• 3:58
  SPEAKER_00: Which I have a few things in the works about not waiting until retirement to enjoy our life.
• 4:03
  SPEAKER_00: But for now, I'm gonna leave that as a teaser.
• 4:07
  SPEAKER_00: Which brings me to this week's practice.
• 4:09
  SPEAKER_00: This week's practice is going to be keep one thing.
• 4:13
  SPEAKER_00: I want to just think back to over the summer and ask yourself, what did I give myself permission to do this summer that I don't actually have to stop doing?
• 4:22
  SPEAKER_00: Maybe you drank your coffee outside, took a walk without a podcast, saw your friends more often, or left work actually on time.
• 4:31
  SPEAKER_00: I know, revolutionary, had weekends with absolutely nothing planned, or read some shitty romance novel that contributed nothing whatsoever to your personal development.
• 4:42
  SPEAKER_00: Whatever yours was, just pick one.
• 4:44
  SPEAKER_00: Not five or an entirely new fall routine and just one thing you did because you just enjoyed it.
• 4:52
  SPEAKER_00: And keep doing it, because the point really isn't the coffee or the walk or the book or an empty Saturday.
• 4:59
  SPEAKER_00: It's noticing how quickly we take away our own permission when life gets busy again.
• 5:04
  SPEAKER_00: And please, for the love of God, do not turn this into another wellness routine that you have to successfully complete.
• 5:13
  SPEAKER_00: It's not a deadline or something to turn into a workbook.
• 5:17
  SPEAKER_00: Summer didn't give you permission to enjoy your life.
• 5:21
  SPEAKER_00: You did.
• 5:22
  SPEAKER_00: The name September on a made-up calendar doesn't get to take it back.
• 5:28
  SPEAKER_00: And then this week on Hustle Rebels Podcast, in case you had missed it, last week I sat down with Roberta Ravella to talk about what happens when you realize some of the rules that you've been following around work, success, and the life that might not be actually yours.
• 5:44
  SPEAKER_00: We talked about questioning all the rules that we've inherited and figuring out what actually works for you.
• 5:50
  SPEAKER_00: And then what actually happens when you just stop automatically doing things just because you've just always done them that way?
• 5:58
  SPEAKER_00: Which feels pretty appropriate for this week's conversation.
• 6:03
  SPEAKER_00: So if you haven't listened to it yet, go find Hustle Rebels wherever you listen to the podcast, or you can click in the links below.
• 6:09
  SPEAKER_00: Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, or even just come and tell me what you thought.
• 6:13
  SPEAKER_00: Like I said, I'm a nosy neighbor.
• 6:15
  SPEAKER_00: I like to know what's going on in your guys' life.
• 6:17
  SPEAKER_00: Or you can watch it on YouTube as well.
• 6:19
  SPEAKER_00: So as September comes in swinging with school schedules, work schedules, activities, obligations, and apparently neighborhood photo shoots that I am not briefed on, pay attention to what you're automatically just giving up.
• 6:33
  SPEAKER_00: You don't need to preserve some perfect version of summer.
• 6:37
  SPEAKER_00: Just don't hand every good part of it back just because the calendar changed.
• 6:42
  SPEAKER_00: Side note, if you are reading this or listening and thought, I generally don't even know what to pick to keep along with me, pay attention to that.
• 6:50
  SPEAKER_00: Because if you spent so much time just being productive or useful, responsible or needed that you're not even sure what you enjoy anymore, that's exactly the kind of shit that we're pulling apart in the Burn the Blueprint identity reset.
• 7:03
  SPEAKER_00: And the first week is always free for you guys.
• 7:05
  SPEAKER_00: So go ahead and click the link that's below too.
• 7:08
  SPEAKER_00: And if you're ready to go deeper than doing it on your own, that's what my one to one work is for.
• 7:13
  SPEAKER_00: So you can reply to this, comment, send me a message, or book a call and chat with me.
• 7:18
  SPEAKER_00: I'd love to have a chat.
• 7:20
  SPEAKER_00: So see you guys next week.