Latest / Full Spectrum Cycling / Full Spectrum Cycling #88 – Everyday Rider, D’nardo Colucci, Joins the Boys

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Full Spectrum Cycling #88 – Everyday Rider, D’nardo Colucci, Joins the Boys · Full Spectrum Cycling

• 0:00
  [rock music] Oh my God. Oh my God. [laughs] Hey, hey, hey, hey, everybody. It's- Hey, everybody... it, it, it's the show that wasn't gonna happen.
• 0:18
  Ah. I never thought you would. This is actually our hiatus show. It's seven o'clock. Show number 88- We're doing a show... we were gonna take a break, but by cracky, just because you people, personage.
• 0:29
  [laughs] You, you wanted to hear us, or it, or maybe Dinardo, 'cause special guest Dinardo tonight. Ooh. Oh my God, I'm so honored. I feel like I'm among the greatness. Oh. Well, you're between the greatness. Yeah.
• 0:39
  You're between JK and, and T Burger. Hello. I stare at beauty. [laughs] You're in wash. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's the, uh, it's the day after Thanksgiving. Uh- Yeah.
• 0:49
  How was everyone- What did you guys have for, uh... What'd you guys have for Thanksgiving? Bird. Chicken sandwiches. Sandwiches. Yeah. We went with ham. Oh, classic. Ham. Ham. Gravy? Don't know. Hm. I mean- Probably.
• 1:03
  Oh yeah, we had gravy. Yeah. [laughs] Yeah. [laughs] Well, you know, it's one of those weird deals where, um, nobody, like just my, my wife, my son, and myself, because you can't have the mom over- Yeah...
• 1:16
  'cause she's in the old, uh, you know, the assisted living facility in her own apartment. And uh, the daughter's at college, and uh- Mm-hmm... by cracky she's coming home in a couple weeks anyway. So. We're, uh,
• 1:27
  we're having our, uh, vegan tenant down and, and we are gonna do a new tradition, and that is that we are all gonna have gravy- No clothes on... from a cup. Gravy from a cup.
• 1:37
  So we're gonna like have a cup of coffee, but instead of coffee it's gonna have gravy. That's disgusting. How do you do vegan gravy? What- what's that all about? Poutine is all about vegan gravy.
• 1:46
  But that's cheese If you are- But it's cheese. No. Cheese. It- Cheese... the gravy- Cheese, cheese... in poutine is vegan gravy. How? All right. I don't know. Well, I mean, I mean, excuse me.
• 1:57
  But the guys from Red Dot always talked about how when they would tell you, when you would get their, their poutine at Red Dot, they would specifically state that it has been- Oh, like mushroom...
• 2:08
  through customs- Ah, yeah, yeah. Yada, yada, yeah... and it is a vegan gravy that is passed- Are you say- you're not, you're not saying it's kosher, right? You're saying it's kosher. But they're all kosher.
• 2:15
  I don't care about kosher. Kosher gravy. I'm not Jewish. Come on. Well- I just want a good gravy. But yeah, as a joke- They're all out of business... this year we're all gonna be having a- [laughs]...
• 2:23
  a cup full of gravy. Out of two locations for... No. Oh, did they? Yeah. Yeah, it's gone. They're gone? Yeah. I don't go out there, I'm afraid. No. It burnt.
• 2:31
  Well, no, I'm afraid- So they only told us the location that burnt... I'm afraid, I, yes, I'm afraid of driving and/or- Right... whatever. Just the traffic pattern on North Avenue- Mm-hmm, mm-hmm... is this. Mm-hmm.
• 2:41
  It makes you look drunk when you're not. Mm-hmm. So I don't know if you need to get drunk to- Do it... navigate it correctly. I do not drive- I don't know. Not possible...
• 2:49
  North Avenue when I'm This on bicycle of course... trashed. Yeah. Not behind the wheel. Not behind the wheel of a large automobile. Yeah. Da-ding-ding-ding. [laughs] Da-dee-dee-do. Da-ding-ding.
• 2:57
  So, uh, Dinardo is of some, you're some relationship to JK. Yeah, we're cousins. Yep. Cousins. Yeah. Kissing cousins. Kissing cousins. God damn it. So we were at RW 24 and, well, the, that was the first one I did.
• 3:11
  It was probably five, six years ago. Oh, God, no. No, it was- It was like nine or 10 years ago... yeah, it was a long time ago You old fucker. You're old.
• 3:18
  [laughs] I'm 25 and, um- [laughs] Well, anyway- His sister is, uh- It was like 10 years ago... she's like 18... 20 years ago. Um- Is this the, uh, thir- 360 video- I have lungs flowing-... of the haircut?
• 3:28
  Yeah, [laughs] with the haircut. Lungs flowing hair. But, but we're, we're just standing there, and I, I look at him, I go, "Hey, cuz." And you turn around and you're like, "Uh, hey, cuz." Hey.
• 3:37
  [laughs] I believe it all started with you asking me who he was. Mm, you know- You came, you came up- I had to verify... you came up- I had to verify... and you were like, "Excuse me, is that my cousin?"
• 3:48
  That was the same year that Tour de Fat was down in Bayview during the 24, and I had driven- Oh, right, right... I had driven Greg and Lunz down there. Who's Greg? Sven. Sven. [laughs] I was- The other Greg...
• 4:03
  totally past you. The other Greg. [laughs] And yeah, and that's where another video... Good Lord, that was a good weekend of video.
• 4:13
  That's where he was on one of their little contraptions, and then he falls down- [laughs]... and he falls down right next to his beer. And he's like, "Oh, that's why I was trying to hold my damn beer." You know?
• 4:24
  He, everyone knows. It was a good, it was a good one. Was that your Lunz impression? Yeah. [laughs] It was like, it, it was like the bike that was hinged in the middle, right? Yeah. Right.
• 4:31
  You guys all were like- Oh, my God... kind of- Yeah, they had, they had a really good collection- It was entertaining... of crazy bikes. They did. They did. Yeah. Up all, like all along the canal.
• 4:37
  How does that even work? 'Cause have you guys ever ridden one of those? Oh, I've tried to ride them. Yeah, have you tried to? You can actually make 50 bucks in Vegas on the strip if you can ride one like 100 feet.
• 4:45
  And there's- Oh, so like- There's people that can do it like they're, you know, walking in their sleep. Yeah. But you have to have whatever the... What you probably have to practice a little bit.
• 4:55
  Okay, so- I don't think you can just... It's like you can't just jump. They make it look like it's- Yeah... just a piece of cake. No, no. Right.
• 5:00
  Yeah, this guy, you know, he looked like he was kinda like humping in midair- [laughs]... while he's going back and forth, and then falls, and whatever. But so then we come back, and
• 5:09
  it was like, "Hey, hey, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah." And then I'm like, "Hey, cuz." Hey, cuz. [laughs] It was very entertaining. Oh, yeah. Yeah.
• 5:16
  Or, or like, or like, "Mike- Back when we didn't have to socially distance... Mike, do you want a beer?" Or get ridiculous haircuts. Right. What, you don't like my haircut? I missed the ridiculous haircut. Oh, right.
• 5:24
  I totally missed that. His haircut. Your, that was, that was hemispherical guy. Oh, my Lord. There was a guy in Tucson who would do that all the time.
• 5:30
  He would, he would cut one half of his beard and the other half of his hair, and then, then it would grow back like a Chia Pet.
• 5:37
  Like in two weeks, pop, it was full again, and he would, he, he would just play games with his- Oh. Yeah. Oh, to be young again. Right. I did the, uh- And with, and with good hair... I did, I- Yeah, and with good hair...
• 5:45
  well, no, I did that with the, uh, facial hair. I did the, uh, um- The monkey tail?... monkey tail. Monkey tail. I remember your great mon- Which, which makes- It inspired me to do one... which makes it like,
• 5:55
  you know, unless you're looking d- dead on- Yeah... nobody can tell. So then you just orchestrate your conversations- Yep. [laughs] I rocked, I rocked it-... in profile... to Christmas with the family.
• 6:04
  People are like, "What the hell?" Yeah. And well, when they do I- Thank you Yeah At least you're paying fucking attention at this point. Right, right, right.
• 6:12
  But, you know- I rocked it to Christmas, and people were like, "What's going on with your face?" I'm like, "Monkey tail?"
• 6:17
  [laughs] And then I got a, a picture from my niece-in-law, like, three weeks later, and it was her brother who had a perfectly coiffed monkey tail. Ah. Yeah, right. And like, see, it's working. There it works.
• 6:30
  Monkey tail. It was just, like, smooth. It was like, you know- Yeah, when, yeah, when people can do it right, I mean, I just do a kinda- It's like Miami Vice monkey tail... gnarly and- Right...
• 6:36
  in the spirit of [laughs] I was impressed. It was like, "What the-" And actually, mine worked out... Well, I came in... Oh, yeah, um, for the, uh, Uptowner beard competition when they had them. Third place.
• 6:47
  Thank you very much. Hey, that was the year they made up a con- Nice... uh, uh, category, the what the fuck category. [laughs] And you got it? [laughs] 'Cause they, 'cause they were like, "What the hell?"
• 6:56
  Because it was a monkey tail, and then r- like, the day before, I continued it and, like, shaved my head and just kept it going up, over, and then back here. Nice. You needed attention, didn't you? I...
• 7:08
  I'm an only child, man. [laughs] And this- [laughs] Thank you very much. The last 10 minutes has been brought to you by Beard Brand. Hey. Beard Brand. Beard Brand for your beard. Yes. Have you rubbed it in there?
• 7:18
  Also, by the way- What's that, what's that mans- manscaping thing? What are those guys? Oh. No Shave November? That's a little lower on the torso area. That... My, my son just delivered that for school.
• 7:28
  Him and his friends were talking about manscaping and doing- Oh, yeah... and it's like, w- what is that? I don't even know what that stuff is. Shaving your balls there, buddy. Shaving your balls. Shaving your nuts.
• 7:33
  Shaving your balls. I'm never gonna shave my nuts. [laughs] Gotta mow the lawn to make the tree- Yeah... or the house look bigger. Oh, fuck that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.
• 7:40
  We need to sha- [laughs] Save our national forests and stop the bikini wax, right? [laughs] Oh, my God. All right, so- [laughs] That's too much. [laughs] Bringing, bringing this back to cycles, uh- Yeah...
• 7:52
  thank you very much. Oh, we're bringing back, we haven't [laughs] even- No, no, it's all there... started with it, but, uh- Yeah, we were talking about the 24 just seconds ago. Oh. Yeah, okay. Seconds ago. Oh.
• 8:00
  Well, DiNardo is another one of these fine people that rides his bike to work most days, if not every day. Most days, yeah. And, uh, well, he can, he can canoe too. Side winds rain stops me.
• 8:08
  Like today, I didn't, I didn't bike. [laughs] And, and- And you have... Do you have a, a favorite steed for the, the commute? No, I, I have a lot of bikes. I, I... But- He's got a bike problem.
• 8:20
  [laughs] In, in the r- in the rain, I like, uh, like, I like my fendered three speeds. I... The Raleigh three speed is the best bike ever made, ever. Interesting. There's better bikes. There... Like, how do I say it?
• 8:31
  For a specific purpose. For a specific purpose, right? But the Raleigh three speed- But purpose of the masses... is the best urban bike ever made, ever. I, I, I- And it's like, it's infallible...
• 8:39
  might agree with him on this. Right? It's just like- I don't agree a lot with him... I like a lot of bikes, but that one's the best. But I have... I also have a bike problem and- [laughs]
• 8:49
  I, I made a bamboo bike with a three speed in it, and that's really fun. And then I have a wooden bike. That's great. Yeah, is the, is the wooden bike something you made, or is that something you've- No, I, I...
• 8:58
  That was my midlife crisis. I was so- Being, being old and gray. [laughs] You're making that. It's gorgeous. But it's- It's, it's awesome... is, is it from the olden times, or is it- No, no, no...
• 9:06
  a modern, a modern- A guy, a, a- Okay... um, uh, uh- Religious guy... Jay Kinziger. He... It's called Sojourn Cycles. Oh. He's out in Ohio. Sojourncycles.com probably. Yeah, probably sojourn. I don't know. I don't know.
• 9:17
  We don't even have show notes tonight, so I can't even write this down, but... But he, he, he used to make- He hit the button... prosthetic legs, right?
• 9:23
  And so he, he knows about how to, like, layer the wood to make it strong, and he... You know, I, I, I did...
• 9:32
  What it is is I bought a old track bike from the '30s that's hanging on my wall that had wooden wheels, and I, I did the first lap of the RW24. That, that... Wait. You did a lap of the RW24.
• 9:43
  That's- And people were yelling at me, "Your bike's warped. The wheels are warped." I'm like, "Are you kidding? I just trued it." [laughs] I was like, "It was the best I could do."
• 9:49
  But anyway, that got me- From, like, 1938. Yeah, it was like- It's like- It was a 1938-... bite me, people. [laughs] Oh, with the wooden rims. Yeah. Yeah, wooden rims. Yeah, yeah. So that triggered- Your wheels are true.
• 9:58
  Yeah. That, that... It's the best I could do. It's older than your mom. Right? So yeah, so it's Jay, so Jay at Sojourn. It's S-O-J-O-U-R-N dashcyclery.com. Yeah, there you go. And there's a- Dash... it...
• 10:11
  and he makes a wooden bike. Dang, dang old nice wooden bike. It's nice. Yeah, he has randoms. You know what? I'll tell you what else he does, Tony Burger. I'll tell you what else he does. Oh, I think I see this.
• 10:19
  He makes a wooden bike with an electric- Mm-hmm... um, mid-drive Sh- uh, Shimano drive system on it. Oh, now he's just getting nutsy. Yeah. Um, it, it's got... It, it's beautiful. Oh, come on. It's right here.
• 10:29
  You, you're right. Don't be a nutsy. I'm gonna go on your notes. Tony's, uh, social- Don't be nutsy... distancing is six feet away, so he can't see it on the computer from the other side of the table.
• 10:36
  I, I can't because, yeah. But, uh, it's the Shimano mid-drive system that is- Oh... expertly crafted- Right... into the bike. Expertment.
• 10:44
  We're gonna have to- Speaking, speaking of mid-drive systems, didn't we ride back Friday night from the Illuminati? We did. And there was a gentleman who screamed past us on a mid-drive bicycle
• 10:58
  and then stopped at the stop sign we were at, and I asked him, I'm like, "What kind of mid-drive you got there?" And he's like, "Yamaha." Ooh, Yamaha. And the light changed, and his Yamaha was behind me for a while.
• 11:09
  That's- It was, it was pretty hilarious 'cause it, it was a, it was a throw down. Glasses on the floor. [laughs] It was a total throw down. It was total throw down.
• 11:16
  So when Tony's like, "I will not be denied," and he, he's like, "Wee," like that could not be- Probably had, probably had a class two 20 mile an hour Yamaha- Yeah, I think so [laughs]... and hadn't unlocked it yet. Yeah.
• 11:27
  So you know, it was, it was- Why you throwing your glasses on the floor, JK? Yeah. Also, could we get more beer up in here? That's what I was doing. Oh, top of the hill. What do we need? I'll have a vein.
• 11:36
  Um- We're, uh- If, if there's another vein, I'll also have a vein. There are multiple beers here today. This is the show that wasn't gonna be a show. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.
• 11:46
  You, you guys are all so damn lucky that we- Which means we hit- I-... adjacent hills. I'm honored. I'm very excited to see how those five lights are lighting up there. Oh, I see that. That's nice.
• 11:56
  That means I get to ride home at 25 miles an hour. You could just- For that block and a half [laughs]... you could just pedal right on past. Yeah, you could- I actually don't ever use it around here.
• 12:05
  [laughs] I, I jokingly say, I'm like, "I just ride my bike." Yeah, with the three, the third speed there, you got massive- It's, it is a-... massive top end... fantastic bike now. I'm...
• 12:13
  For, for, for those of you listeners that listen all the time, of course, this is my Smitty. Which now has a, uh, Bafang-ang-ang-ang-ang-ang- How's it going, Shannon?...
• 12:22
  front electric hub Thanks for, thanks for being a listener, Shannon. You're, you're awesome. Wait, he's not on, is he? No, but he listens, so- Oh, he does listen on. Okay... gotta give him a shout-out. Whoa, whoa.
• 12:31
  Um, it, the, the Bafang- I, I don't know anybody else that listens consistently... um, the Bafang easy, you know, f- front hub system is so nice. And then with a three speed- There is a Whack the Beaver Imperial Porter.
• 12:43
  I don't know, I just grabbed- Nice. There is a Fix Gear and a Hamms. Oh, God. And, and then, uh, Tony and I got Vane from across the street at the- Ah, I'm very excited about the Vane... Black Husky.
• 12:54
  So can I ask a question? So- No, what? Black Husky. But first of all- Go ahead, finish... we'll talk about beer. [bell ringing] Can we talk about beer? When we're on the top of the hill- Mm-hmm... which we are not.
• 13:03
  We'll see. Oh, we're not there yet, okay. We're there. We're there. Oh, shit. Oh, now we're there? Yeah, maybe. Okay. So we've got a mixture tonight of top of the hill beers. I'm having an Enlightened Brewing
• 13:12
  6.0 Imperative Pale Ale. It's imperative that I have one of them. Enlightened? It's, uh, if, if you've not had this, it's in beautiful Bay View. It- They have a great space now.
• 13:24
  I mean- They do have a beautiful brewery now, and this is actually a really great beer for not being overly alcohol-y or- Right... hoppy. It, it's just, it's a super drinkable pale ale. Yeah.
• 13:38
  Is that, uh, a- available far and wide now? I think it's pretty- From Hitler to yon... I don't know, I got it at Otto's, so that means it went from Bay View- Yeah, right [laughs]... to East Side.
• 13:47
  I don't think it's in Chicago- So, yeah... or anything like that, but- Well, I walked kitty-corner to get the Black Husky, and- There you go... we got Vane... there too. Which would be a Citra hopped pale ale. Oh.
• 13:55
  Oh, see, it was near you. Which throws me off that they say Shad on the back, and that's what- Shad. And it was all aiming- Better that than Shad... it, well, no, it was aiming, and you're like, "I'll take the Vanes."
• 14:03
  I'm like, "There are no Vanes in here." Well, Shad would be the dog. Well, I- Dog... don't make it confusing. Dang old dog. Name it after the... And Donardo's got a fixed gear.
• 14:14
  [laughs] The only bike-oriented beer on deck today. It's, it is a standard beer. Oh, I fixed my beer. American Red IPA. That's a standard beer. Which is also delicious. Well, no.
• 14:21
  Which is also available much more- And Common Fuel beer... further afield than most of these other ones. And Common Fuel Hamms. It's true. Yeah, JK- Hamms... is throwing down the Hamms. Well, yeah, as a chaser.
• 14:30
  Hydration beer. As a chaser for the Vane. You see, you gotta- There you go... think ahead. I probably have stronger opinions about beer than bikes. Really? I like all bikes, but beers, boy, now I got opinions.
• 14:42
  Those things come out left and right. Wow, that's a really interesting... What is, that should be an, a, like, like a call-in- You should probably do a, probably do a podcast about that. Right. Yeah. Oh.
• 14:50
  That should be a call-in, like- There is one, there is one bottle... do you have more opinions about beers or bikes? And you tell us, and then we decide. There's, uh, there is one, uh, um, what, what the hell was it?
• 15:00
  Sufferfest? Yeah. Oh. Did we, uh, that would, that would- I hope she's not listening... that would be your torment. I hope she's not listening, 'cause that beer sucked. I would, I would believe.
• 15:09
  Well, they sold out to Sierra Nevada, so they must have been doing something right. Yeah. Well, well, Sufferfest? Well, they said they- Well, Sufferfest is like a- So what they did was they- Yeah...
• 15:15
  they, they segmented a market and did the whole thing to sell super low alcohol beer to athletes. Oh. Mostly your type A types. Oh, my God. A lot of electrolytes, a lot of salts. Yeah. Right. Lot, very little alcohol.
• 15:26
  It's like what they gave to the people building the pyramids. Probably. You could live off of this. Yep, yep, yep. Yeah.
• 15:31
  It wasn't like porter, where you can carry stuff all day long, 'cause you're getting your bread in a can.
• 15:36
  [laughs] And the, and the Sufferfest had, uh, cayenne pepper in it, which you're supposed to basically take the beer, I think, and pour it in tomato juice and fake like it's a Bloody Mary. Which might have been okay.
• 15:46
  Oh, right, right. But- Which is probably what we should have done with it. But we didn't. And she was a lovely guest. Yeah, she was. Yeah. Thank you very much. I'm sure she will never, ever listen to this show.
• 15:54
  And I'm sure she's watching now. It filled a hole, it filled a hole in the world that Bell's Point, or I mean, uh, yeah, wasn't it Bell's Point? I don't know. Bottom Up? Sierra Nevada Bottom Up. Sierra Nevada Bottom Up.
• 16:03
  Oh. Yeah, yeah. Whatever, one of them. But after a very short period of time- One of the great local breweries... a couple, like three years or four years. I mean, they went from zero to being bought out.
• 16:09
  We should all just start a brewery right now. That's like when a band, a band gets, like, famous- Well-...
• 16:13
  and then immediately, all of a sudden they're on a major label and pow, and you're like, "Wait, there's all these other bands that... How did you leapfrog?" Right? Mm-hmm. You, you, you wonder how that works.
• 16:23
  We should just start a brewery right now, and just in 10 years, someone's gonna buy it and give us, like, a billion dollars. Well, I'm just gonna say, okay, it's- You just have to get the right...
• 16:29
  You know, do nuns drink beer? It's spicy. 'Cause I do nuns or- The beer is spicy... you know, you gotta find, you gotta find- You can find a market... so what happened was, yeah.
• 16:36
  You need a beer, you need a beer behind... That's kinda where I was going with this. You need a beer with your beer when you have that. Right. 'Cause it's a little too spicy. How do you get a nun pregnant? Um- Jesus...
• 16:46
  don't know. Dress her up in an altar boy outfit. Oh. Kaboom, thank you. I'm here all night. Says the Catholic altar boy. Wow. I was a Catholic altar boy. So was I. Nobody ever approached me. Really?
• 16:56
  I don't remember anything- Untouched... about those times. Were you? Un- yeah, untouched. All three? I'm the only pagan? Untouched, untouched means you're- Oh, Lord... yep.
• 17:02
  I'm certainly, I'm certainly- I had to, I had to do- I'm certainly a pagan now... I, I had to do Easter vigil- I'm totally a pagan now... and for whatever chaotic- [laughs]...
• 17:10
  cult reason they needed you to stand next to the guy while he's speaking the gospel, and I'm holding the damn incense thing, and somebody really loaded it.
• 17:19
  And it was just this direct plume of incense going directly into my fucking mouth. Straight into your face? [laughs] Oh, I bet that's horrible.
• 17:26
  And my family and, you know, friends of whatever are just kinda hanging out nearby and just watching, and I'm trying. And all of a sudden, every so often, [hums] [sputters]
• 17:38
  and there's a direct line of, like, liquid, like I just li- like just took a nice big old hit. Well, you know when- And blew it out there... incense, peppermint incense of mankind. Oh, my God, and I could like- No shit.
• 17:49
  Exactly... they were snickering and laughing, like, in the corner while, like- [laughs] It, it was amazing. And they're like, "No, lean in." Oh, man. Being, you know, okay, I gotta let, like do this. Oh, Jesus.
• 17:58
  And I listen to my staff. Oh, yeah. I'm, like, laughing while- Jesus... [laughs] You know what Archie Bunker says about going to church. God, Jesus. I'm not, I'm not going there 'cause they spread incest all over yous.
• 18:09
  [laughs] Oh, my God. I'm good with that. Well, it was- I'm good with that... probably one of the greatest shows ever on television. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.
• 18:15
  I don't, there, there's no way you could get away with- Reese Witherspoon, pretty good... 83% of what they said on that show. Is that weird? It's like, uh, it- And it was just like- We live in a different time...
• 18:22
  family entertainment. No, we- We live in a different time... yeah. Very, yeah. It's because we never listened to Glenn Miller play But, uh- Yeah, he played [laughs] And the- By the way...
• 18:32
  the silence is resounding I was like, I just went by his boyhood home By the way, the hit parade And like, I was like- The- But I have a quiz. I have a quiz. How many states between Wisconsin- Those were the days...
• 18:45
  be- between Milwaukee and Denver, how many states between Milwaukee and Denver? The way I drive it? Uh, four, right? Just one really groovy state of mind, man. Illinois, Iowa, Nebraska, [gasps] Wyoming, and Colorado.
• 19:01
  It depends on how you- Iowa, Nebraska. That's it. Yeah. Well, it depends on how you go. Yeah, yeah. I go through Wyoming on I-225. You could go Minnesota, you know, South Dakota, Wyoming, Colorado.
• 19:10
  Yeah, but, well, I mean, sure. You could go up here. That's why I say four, 'cause that's the way I go. You could go to- I thought you were getting better, man... you could fly and not go through any of them.
• 19:15
  What's your point? Well, no, but the fastest way is two states. Yeah. Iowa, Nebraska. Depends on where you're born. The most, the best way is four. You start- And you go by Kansas- Visually the most boring...
• 19:25
  and you end in Colorado, so it's four. Yeah, well, I mean, yeah, if you're touring, that's different. I was on tour and went through Minneapolis, you know, Fargo, Moorhead. Yeah? Yeah.
• 19:36
  Fa- Fargo, they got, they got the COVID problem up there in Fargo, yeah? Oh, no. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They got the thing going up there now. Did they have sex with the little fella? Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So- [laughs]...
• 19:47
  I, I, we had a installation in Grand Forks, uh, North Dakota. Awesome. Awesome Air Force base in Grand Forks. So I, I, I get out there, and they lost my luggage. I don't even have a fucking sweater.
• 19:59
  It's 20 below or whatever, so I'm walking to, from the airport- Wait... to- Wait, wait, wait, just, just to, to interject here, for those of you that don't know Dinardo, I've never seen him in a fucking jacket.
• 20:11
  [laughs] Okay. If he has his sweater, he's good until, like, minus 50. [laughs] Yeah, this is true. This is true. But I didn't have that, and- [laughs]... it is so cold there and barren. And then they dropped us...
• 20:22
  We, we went to a, we went to a bar, 'cause that's what you do, and then we went to the university up there, and it's freezing cold. And it's like, this is the most empty, barren, cold place. It was unbelievable.
• 20:34
  And, and, and yet, there's a little town on the river, and it's like, oh, I can see how you made it work, right? You know what- [laughs]... you know what I mean? Like- Well, that and all the-...
• 20:43
  you get there, and you're like, "Oh, my God, this is death." [laughs] And then you're like, "Ah." That and all the B-52s just waiting to get hit by the first strike, you know? Yeah, right.
• 20:50
  So you don't want a lot of people around there. Mm-mm. 'Cause that's, like, definitely number one on, on, on Russia's hit parade of like- Oh, and, oh, and Oshkosh- Oh, I never thought of that. That's-...
• 20:59
  for a crash truck... it's like, why the Denver- That's where the SAC base is, of course. Yeah. That's why it's so far away. Oshkosh truck, that was the whole thing there. Take that out, too.
• 21:04
  That was- Yeah, 'cause you got a lot of time. It's in the middle of nowhere from each coast, so you have a little more time to scramble your, uh, I don't know. Is, is that the Red River?
• 21:11
  Back in the olden days, it would've been the F-104 Starfighter that they scrambled. I, I had, I had a long talk- The Starfighter...
• 21:15
  with Cleo about, you know, the fact that, you know, Cold War times, Oshkosh was, like- But gosh... prime target. Yeah, right. 'Cause they made all the hum- humvees and tanks and- They made... Well, not the humvees.
• 21:24
  The, the dragon wagons and all that shit.
• 21:27
  And I, you know, I said to Cleo, I'm like, "Yeah, we, you know, I grew up in second grade where they were, like, talking about Cold War," and [laughs] we were like- Not cold sore... a target...
• 21:35
  not cold sore, folks, Cold War. No, like, like a target. I'm like, "Why is Oshkosh [laughs] on this list?" Yeah, right. And like, uh, I- They learned that from the- That's right...
• 21:44
  they learned that from us, uh, pummeling the old Germans there in WW2 back then. Well, I do recall it, um, '80s style, it was like, okay, ground zero most likely in Milwaukee would be County Stadium.
• 21:57
  Because the Pink Floyd concert? Because of- Yeah. [laughs] I don't know. [laughs] I have no idea, but they- Well- For, for maximum devastation Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true.
• 22:06
  You don't- Oh, I see what you're saying... you didn't wanna... Y- you don't need to hit- In the, in the, in the- You don't need to hit downtown Milwaukee-... Lake Michigan... because, you know what?
• 22:12
  You want it to spread way further. You're gonna knock out- Yeah, that makes sense. That, that, that's legit. Yeah, you know, you got Falk Corporation down there. You got your, uh- Right...
• 22:19
  Bruce Iris Theory not that far away. And they blew up later, so it wasn't that big a deal. Right? They blew themselves up. Right. By crap. They only killed a few people.
• 22:25
  I got a B in current history in high school, as we're dovetailing. And, so how did you get into medieval history and, or classic civilization or whatever the hell you ended up majoring in? I had the most- Major...
• 22:37
  I had the most stuff in classical civilization. [laughs] It was the easy, the path of least resistance to get a piece of paper. What does any of this have to do with bicycles?
• 22:43
  Yeah, I think they rode- I, I ride a bicycle, and I have a classical civilization. They rode bikes in ancient Greece. I don't just have a Dodge Stratus. I work for a living, Todd Barger.
• 22:50
  [laughs] Well, I guess that ends that note, didn't it? I know. I half-invoked a- Here, have a-...
• 22:56
  damn Will Ferrell, and I hate myself every part of the way Once again, it's the, it's the show that's not a show for a reason. Exactly. That's why it's a, just riffing, just woo.
• 23:05
  I, you know, imagine- Yeah, throw, throwing it up like let-... just making America thrown into- Like land jagers that have been curing. [gasps] Oh, they are up. Oh, where, where are those?
• 23:12
  Oh, those have been up there for about a month and a half. What? The usual mic. Are you kidding me? Where are they? Oh, my God, that's awesome.
• 23:19
  [laughs] That's like, I keep them in the glove box, but I had no idea you could keep them, like, at your bike shop.
• 23:24
  Oh, yeah, you can just cut them with the thing or break them in ha- [laughs] Well, they're pretty- No, they're just brittle. Oh, it's perfect. Are you coming? No, let your saliva make it moist.
• 23:33
  Oh, yeah, that's what she- Oh, my God, my drool... that is what she said. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. [laughs] They're really good, you guys. Oh, my God, it's so good. [laughs] Wow.
• 23:42
  I literally keep- A- and at this point- I keep land jager in the glove box... in this audio fart session. [laughs] I keep it in the box, and, and, like, a month- That's what she said...
• 23:49
  you know, six months later, you pull that thing out. That's what she said. [laughs] I wrap it in a little napkin, and that sucks the oil. They're gonna absorb- Yep, it sucks the oil out. Ready?
• 23:56
  This one, this one was actually dripping oil onto the floor. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. [gulps] Oh, my God. It's so good. It's so good. I went to Spain, and they have hams, Serrano ham, right? Spanish ham.
• 24:09
  Oh, yeah, yeah. Hams. Hanging- Hanging up and down in, in rows with little tiny umbrellas- Man, that's gonna be the most delicious ham ever... and the umbrellas catch the dripping fat. Fat. Oh. It's, it's awesome.
• 24:20
  Excuse me. I'm like, "Are you kidding me? I get to eat that?" And then we drove out of Madrid- I didn't notice that, 'cause I remember going through and seeing- Oh my God, that's so good.
• 24:27
  And, and, and they're hanging- Yep... just in the middle of open space- Yeah... in, like, the high desert. It's, like, New Mexico, and there's hams hanging everywhere.
• 24:34
  I'm like, "Oh, God, why aren't there hams in M- New Mexico? I haven't seen any." [laughs] I live there. Where's the ham? I love ham. Oh my God. Like, ham.
• 24:43
  Well, that's what w- yeah, like, any, anytime, uh, like, just going through airport or j- oh, yes, you see it and it's like, "Oh my God, yeah." Look at that ham. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know.
• 24:53
  Make a sandwich out of that. Oh my gosh, it's so good. No, but our- Is that good? [laughs] Yeah, our, our last voyage that way w- [laughs] was kind of ki- on, on the move. That sounded awesome.
• 25:06
  Like, if only this was video, folks. Only if, if, if this was video. Well, it, it, it, it was just, just- I can't do it, but that was sounded awesome. [laughs] It was, it- It was like in my head...
• 25:14
  it was, yeah, it was, like, a week and a half of- Holy fuck. These got so good... very awesomely, randomly regimented shit. Is that from Helds? Where is that from? Oh, is that from Helds? [laughs] That's Helds.
• 25:24
  That's Helds. Fucking Helds is the best. Of course it's from Helds. Yes, they are. [laughs] Helds is the best. Alicia, my, my wife- Where else would it be from? My wife loves me 'cause she- [laughs]...
• 25:32
  well, she ordered, uh, one of their summer sausages and delivered it, and she's like, "Oh, there's a package for you," and I open it up just, like, this week.
• 25:39
  I'm like, "[gasps] Oh my God, you got me the summer sausages from Helds. A garlic one. I love you." I hate, I hate to tap you- Right... but for Father's Day, Cleona Molly made a special trip to Helds- [laughs]...
• 25:52
  and brought me back a whole bunch of Land Yaegers and ring bologna. Oh, it's the best. And [laughs] I just literally opened this box and I'm like, "You didn't."
• 26:01
  [laughs] And then we had, like, their garlic ring bologna is- Right? It, it-... it is jaw-dropping... it's so delicious. It's like- What's the, what's the place out in, uh- This, this- Go ahead... this thoughtful thing.
• 26:13
  The Electrico. That's the- [laughs] That's the- That's the name of their bike? That's the, that's the wooden bike with the S- Shimano. No price, 'cause I'm sure we don't wanna know.
• 26:21
  'Cause it's, yeah, this is midlife crisis. [laughs] Kinda marked it so, like, you can't price it. It's like, it's like carbon fiber. It's like li- it's like lobster. [laughs] This is like your, your- All right.
• 26:29
  So here's the thing about having a bike as a midlife crisis. I love this, 'cause, you know, a lot of guys, uh, well, maybe I want a Porsche or a Lamborghini or something like that.
• 26:37
  Those are, you know, 100,000-plus, big money cars. But you can get the best bike in the world for what you wanna do for way under 10 grand.
• 26:46
  I mean, if you really wanted to go silly on carpet fiber or something, you could, but- [laughs]... you really don't have to. Carpet fiber. And you can have- It was awesome...
• 26:53
  you can have the bike of your dreams- Right... for, like, 5,000 bucks. Right. Maybe not even, you know? Yeah.
• 26:59
  I mean, there's no way I'm gonna get the car of my dreams 'cause Singer, I- Even getting silly with Singer, I would... I think Singer Porsches start at about 250, and that's what I want. Yeah. Right. So- Right...
• 27:06
  buy some freaking bikes, folks. I gotta get me a Porsche in the driveway. Yeah. Well, and, and the thing is, it, it, it, it, it, there's so much, the, the joy to dollar is way higher.
• 27:16
  Like, people who are- Oh, absolutely... are totally into that People who are driving tho- those Porsches, first of all, they're old like us, and their reaction time is way too slow to be driving that kind of vehicle.
• 27:27
  I beg to dif- Get 'em on a bicycle- I beg to differ with you, sir. Yeah? You, you think you still got it? Not me pers- not me personally, but, um- Oh, dude... I'm sure every other old guy, yeah, sure...
• 27:34
  my reaction time is not what it used to be. [laughs] No, it is not. No, I, I, I re- the thing is, I, I rarely- And mine sucked from the get-go, so...
• 27:40
  I rarely drive, so every time I get into my rig, I feel kinda video gamish. Mm-hmm. Like, you know, I, I feel like [hands bang] Right?...
• 27:49
  spry on this one, man, because I, n- you know, hey, this is, you know, it's not old hat, like, okay, I gotta go. Oh, oh, turn left, right, left, right, right. I know my routine. No. Right. I say, "No.
• 28:00
  Hey, look at, look at the rack." Hey, this is for horses. Well, you can't see it, but I think the rack on the back of that- [laughs]... Electrico is a PDW. Oh, boy. It's not the same one as that, but it's the other one.
• 28:09
  It looks very similar. It's got a- See, everything intertwined... it's got a bamboo effect and all that stuff. Simple lines intertwining.
• 28:14
  Yeah, PDW, that, that, that was, I, I went with a Soma rack, and it didn't fit the three-speed. It, uh, it, it, it didn't fit the three-speed, so then I had to make an adapter, and it was like, "Oh, crap," right?
• 28:25
  You know? You always have to do that with racks, dude. God, yeah. You always have to do that. And that's wh- we're putting a PDW rack on JK's low side, which doesn't have an upper, you know, mount for this. Mount plates.
• 28:33
  Yeah, right. Right, but it will make, we'll make it work. Well, it's called low side. It wouldn't have a- It's still gonna be really sexy, though. It should work. That low side.
• 28:39
  It, it- So can, i- if you got a steel bike, can you just add the little, uh, you know, screw-in thing up? Yeah, rivets? Yeah. Uh, yeah, sure, but you're gonna, you know, have to either suffer- Chamois or something...
• 28:49
  with no paint there 'cause you're gonna burn it off or- Yeah, right, right... unless you maybe have a nut setter. Well, yeah, why don't you use clamps?
• 28:53
  Like- You just get the nut set, drill it out, and put the nut set in there. Kabammo. You're ready to go. Kinda like that idea for the back of the fork on these e-bikes, 'cause I hate band clamps. God.
• 29:03
  They- Yeah, they're, they're w- they're actually worse than band camp... you know what happened last time at band camp? Yeah, I mean- [laughs] Hey, wait, I like band camp. Oh, I loved it what happened at band camp.
• 29:11
  One time at band camp. At band camp? Oh, these Land Yaegers are good. Aren't those fucking good? Aren't they fucking fantastic? It's the best. Yeah. That is the best. All right.
• 29:18
  These- There needs to be a new drying out period. Yeah, we'll bring two more for next week. All, all sausage should be dry. Oh, no, I was just questioning- All sausage should be dry. Yeah. Yeah, that's two months.
• 29:27
  This, yeah, this is- That's actually probably, that was like-... this is a once a quarter sausage... three and a half months. That's so awesome. They just get better and better. It's amazing.
• 29:33
  It's like, it just, y- y- d- [laughs] I don't know how it works. Oh, no, no. It's so good. I, I guarantee people would freak out that we just ate that.
• 29:40
  And, and just the, the dripping, it was like the funniest goddamn thing in the world. Oh, yeah, we got oil everywhere. 'Cause it was, it was like, it was like, what was it, on a bag? Is it dripping on a tire?
• 29:47
  It was on my tire. Oh, no, it was a tire. Yeah, I think it was on a tire. Or a tube or something like that. Okay. It was just like, what the hell is happening in the tube? Oh, that, that's brilliant.
• 29:53
  Oh my, it is leaching- It's like, holy shit, that thing is-... deliciousness... like, dropping on it. [laughs] All right, one other quick announcement. Uh, doo, doo, doo, Urban Jungle Cross has been postponed-ed.
• 30:04
  Cancelled... and/or canceled- Oh... for this year. Well, yeah, I mean, this one. Yeah. I mean, it would've been tomorrow, so. Yeah. It would, uh, it, yeah, it just, it's not- The optics are not good. Exactly.
• 30:16
  I mean- Yeah, that makes sense... you know- Notwithstanding that we- Having, having that many people, you can't marshal that. Nope. It, it sucks.
• 30:23
  And, and especially with the amount of beer that was probably gonna be consumed. Yeah. Once we all get drunk, we start kissing. Yeah. It's just a- I hate that... it's a train wreck.
• 30:31
  That's the train, it's a train wreck You know- So-... semi-gorilla kinda operations- We'll, we'll do, we'll do, what, maybe a s- maybe a springtime one or somewhere next year... are hard to marshal in the first place.
• 30:37
  Then you try to put the- Yes... nice part into it and [clicks tongue] I don't know. All right then. Well, we did it once again. Oh. Didn't even plan on doing it, so that's- We got through a whole hour...
• 30:48
  waste, wasting a half an hour of your fine folks' time. Bam. Well, we normally do a half an hour, but we- Yeah... probably wasted way more than that. Yeah, we double did. [laughs] Give or take. So- All right...
• 30:55
  we're gonna finish putting JK's rack on. That's what he said. And- Oh... I have a couple, I have a couple tokens to go over to, uh, Towner and have a quick nightcap. Yes, I must. Yeah. Pick up the her. [sings] Yeah.
• 31:10
  [sings] Link her. [upbeat music]