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Your Inner World Determines Your Outer World · The Missing Secret Podcast

• 0:04
  Kelly Hatfield: We believe life is precious. This is it. We've got one shot at this. It's on us to live life to the fullest to maximize what we've been given and play the game of life at our full potential.
• 0:18
  John Mitchell: Are you living up to your potential? Are you frustrated that despite your best intentions, you just can't seem to make the changes needed to take things to the next level. So you can impact your career relationships and health.
• 0:32
  Kelly Hatfield: If this is hitting home, you're in the right place. Our mission is to open the door to the exceptional life by showing you how to play the game of life at a higher level. So you're playing at your full potential, rather than at a fraction as most people do. We'll share the one thing that once we learned it, our lives were transformed. And once you learn it, watch what happens. Welcome to Think It Be It the podcast. I'm Kelly Hatfield.
• 1:03
  John Mitchell: Hey. And I'm John Michell. So today, the topic is your inner world determines your outer world. Now, I got this from listening to a interview on impact theory with Tony Robbins. And so Kelly, what do you think about that as a concept, your inner world determines your outer world?
• 1:26
  Kelly Hatfield: Oh, my gosh. There's so many things. Have
• 1:30
  John Mitchell: you ever heard of this concept?
• 1:32
  Kelly Hatfield: There's so many things that we've talked about that connect to directly that so I'm really excited to dig into this discussion, because it is so
• 1:40
  John Mitchell: true. Right? Right. And, you know, as he gets into this, he says, you either live up or down to your identity. Interesting, you either live up or down to your identity. And I'm thinking about that, of course, you know, this is pure, think it be it because, you know, we create your identity, and then you fade it yourself every day. But I see that, that most people create their dye identity out of default, don't you think? Yeah.
• 2:14
  Kelly Hatfield: I mean, I think that most 100% out of default, like they're not thinking about their identity at all. You know what I mean? It just is something that they assume over time, and, you know, just like anything else, before it, you're, you're sitting there and going, how'd this happen? Yeah. All right, you know,
• 2:33
  John Mitchell: right. Yeah. But I think, you know, this, this idea that is by default, you know, you you go through your life and and, you know, something bad happens to you a few times, and then you become a victim, okay? Now I'm a, I'm a victim. And it goes back to like, we were talking two or three weeks ago about, about the stories you tell yourself? Well, you know, those stories, determine your identity. And, and I'm thinking back in my life, and I'm sort of curious about that you How did your identity evolves as as thinking back from when you were a kid and I in your case, I remember your your dad sort of getting you going on being an entrepreneur, but walk us through that process? A little bit?
• 3:28
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah. So, um, as far as my identity, you know, I think that, um, you know, growing up, I, there was unrest in our home, you know, so I had, you know, illness, and then a brother with alcoholism and drug addiction, and who's quite a bit older than me. And so, from early on, it was, okay, how do I just keep the peace, because there's lots of arguing going on, there's lots of, you know, so if I just achieve, and I'm the one that they don't have to worry about, right? They don't have to, and I can, I can bring some joy to my dad through, do like, and I think I reflect back on that now. And I can connect the dots, right, I can see where I'm at. I didn't see it at the time that that's what I was doing. But that was absolutely I'm like, just don't make any more waves because there's plenty already on and maybe you can just be invisible. Like just achieve, do your do the stuff that you want to you know, that you're going for and everything and like I would enter DECA competitions and like, I was the only one there without my family there. And placing first in everything, like, you know, it was because my dad worked in Alaska and everything or otherwise he would have probably been there. But um, I so yeah, it was just that was part of what formed my identity was this desire to make people happy? You know, so then it's like, I don't know what that connection point is, but that's absolutely part of my identity. And then it's through that DECA. I've learned one of them was an entrepreneur competition. And I was like, Oh, this is what I want to do. I want to chart my own path, I want to be my own boss, I want to so from 17 years old, you know, I had a great teacher. So she helped form that, you know, if I saw a woman, for the first time, be really successful in business and know her stuff. As far as marketing was concerned at that time, obviously, this is before the
• 5:27
  Unknown: before the internet. Right? Right.
• 5:30
  Kelly Hatfield: on billboards and putting ads in newspapers, right. But is that what you meant when you were talking about identity and whatnot? Yeah, the past?
• 5:42
  John Mitchell: And so how did that that identity that was foundational, evolve in your 20s and 30s? To the maybe, to the point where you did think it be it?
• 5:55
  Kelly Hatfield: Yeah, I think that, um, again, through my career, so I landed in a role in recruiting that I knew from the week, the first week, I was there, I loved it, I'm like, I'm helping people that's like, so it build that component. For me, it filled me up in terms of helping people and I was like, you know, and then I worked my way up through the ranks over the course of, you know, 13 years. And, you know, and then through again, other mentorship was like, You keep talking about starting your own business, you know, and we've talked about this before, where he's like, how are you? How are you gonna feel three years from now, we're still having this conversation, because we've had it 100 times. So it was that slap in the face. And I'm like, I'm freaking doing this, you know, so took the leap, started my first business that was 14 years ago. And then again, it seems like every time I get to a certain, like, I was hitting a ceiling in my businesses and went on that next search for, okay, I don't have, I'm not who I need to be to get to the next level, I don't have the skill set to get to the next level. So that like that awareness, I was lacking. And the reason why the business wasn't growing was because I needed more knowledge, I needed more, I needed to be the next version of myself, and I wasn't sure what that was. And so I found a solution to that I'm going to interview brilliant people. And then that's where we met. So I'm always been seeking knowledge, I'm lucky that my dad instilled that I'm reading from the bit like reading and soccer, I think saved my life as a kid, you know. So being able to, I spent hours at the library to avoid not being at home, I was, you know, excelled in soccer, because, you know, it was competitive. And, you know, I loved the discipline of it. And so, like, all of those little things have carried over and kind of led me to where we're at. And then to our conversation where I was, like, this is the next thing for me, the piece that's missing, that I didn't know, we're understanding, we talked a little bit about this off, before we started recording, which is the science part of it, and just understanding how your brain works, I was giving you an example of something I was integrating into my life and this kind of next chapter. And now I'm using our method to integrate that and how fascinating it is to watch the science work. And we'd be going I know exactly why this is happening. Yeah. All right. I know. So, um, so anyway, that was kind of the missing, you know, kind of piece in the understanding how to utilize my brain to take me to the next level and what that meant from an identity standpoint, you know,
• 8:42
  John Mitchell: right. Right. And, you know, and pulling this back to what Tony Robbins mentioned, that you live up or down to your identity, and I think back in my life in my 30s and 40s You know, I become an entrepreneur and net 30 And by the grace of God, you know, timing is good, and I make a lot of money and in real estate development, you know, to really launch myself as a entrepreneur. And you know, I'm proud of myself in that because my identity, I'm an entrepreneur, I'm control my own destiny. I'm really hard working amount work and everybody else and and, you know, we're, you know, I'm evolving, and that's my identity and then then I have 50 I go you know, this identity is not working. It's working for maybe the average life little better than the average life but it's not working for the exception life. And I get turned on to thinking grow rich and create our, our template and you know, we've sort of I didn't realize it at the time, but now I can see a Oh, you know, at that point in my life, I'm like, Okay, you have to recreate yourself. And what a great, what a great opportunity that is, you know, it's just a blank sheet of paper. So you decide, what do you want to be? What do you want to accomplish? How are you going to do it, and, and to the best of your ability, you create that clarity, and that becomes your identity. And you've got it on paper. It's not in you yet, but it's on paper. And then you feed that identity to yourself every day. And after almost 30 days, suddenly, that's who you've become. And, and it's this evolving loop. Because the deeper you understand who you are, and your identity, and that clarity, you change it as as as you see fit. And that takes you even further and creates new behaviors, and those better behaviors create the life you want. And I see how how, what Tony Robbins is saying is so true. The only thing that Tony doesn't have is the methodology for applying it for creating that new identity and then making it show up. And so that's what I'm proud of. But he also talks about how the life you experience is based on what you focus on. What do you think about that? Oh, my gosh,
• 11:26
  Kelly Hatfield: you know, it's so true. I'll give this I'll give an example really quick of of, and this goes back to like how the stories you tell yourself, so it's all really closely connected. But just this idea of turning 50, I recently just turned 50. And I could have been like, oh, you know, I'm halfway. If I'm lucky, you know what I mean? Like, there's like there could have been this whole narration about 50. And that not being a good thing. And but I chose to focus on all of the, like, what I have learned in the last decade, how I'm going to apply that and elevate that in the next decade, the next iteration of myself, like what I am aiming for, and who I need to be to get that next to get to that next place I want to get to. And so again, it was just the that's what I felt, I chose to focus on the positive of it, or I choose to focus on what I'm supposed to be learning as a result of this. You mentioned victim, you know, we're bad happens to somebody multiple times in a row. And they're asking the wrong question. Most of the time. They don't understand they've got that victim mentality. They're saying, Oh, why does this always happen to me? Right? That is a victim mentality, instead of saying, this is interesting. This keeps happening. How can I stop this pattern? Or what are some things that I can do to, you know, ABC, like, you know, what I mean, it's just again, it's it's what you focus on? Grows good, bad or otherwise, you know, goes back to John, what we were talking about with energy. Right? The energy you get out, you put out is what you get back?
• 13:17
  John Mitchell: Right? Right. Oh, yeah. It's, it's fascinating. And you know, Tony Robbins talks about, you have to be clear about your identity, and you got to have a compelling future, pulling you forward. Boy, that is so true. And I see a lot of people, most people do not have a compelling future that they can articulate, just like we were talking a few minutes ago about you turning 50 And you have a compelling future that you can articulate. And that intellectually pulls you forward. And and it's so powerful. You know, the other thing I was thinking about as listen to Peter Diamandis, and you know who he is. Yeah. You know, it's funny, I met him at genius. I was in Genius Network, and I can't, I may have told you this before, but gingers with me and she starts chatting up. Peter Diamandis, I'm not like with her at the moment, but I can tell he was smitten which well, who wouldn't be? Well, I know, I know. And, and so I come over, he's, he's disappointed to see me. But I go and, and we talk and now I kid or I go, Well, your boyfriend, you know, Peter, you know, and but anyway, he was talking about how do you know the light lately? It's been in the news. Elon Musk has a company that is implanting computer chips into people's heads, so they can access the internet through their thoughts. Have you heard this? I haven't.
• 15:05
  Unknown: But wow.
• 15:06
  John Mitchell: Yeah, it's the company is neuro link. It's based here in Austin. And they just got FDA approval for human trials. And and Peter Diamandis, who is a futurist says, you know, by the end of this decade, you're gonna see a number of a lot of people doing that, certainly in the in the 2000 30s, you're gonna see a lot of people doing this, because this is the future. And, and, you know, to a large degree, when you say that today, people are, oh, I'd never do that. But over time, more and more people will. And I'm thinking about that. And I'm like, you know, this is so fascinating to me. Because if you can implant a chip that connects you to the internet, think of the potential that that has. But here's the problem, people aren't reaching even a fifth of their potential today, because as we've talked about, in our myth, on the other side of the spectrum, if, you know, we see that people are playing at 10 to 20%, of their potential, because they don't really have control of themselves. And as, as I've observed, you know, we're seeing this bifurcation in society today, between the people that have control over themselves, and the people that don't? Well, at the foundation of that is a couple of things. One, we're innately wired for survival, which causes us to be fear based, and reactive, and 95% of our daily actions are unconscious. And so when you take those two things, and you see that when we wake up each morning, we're on autopilot, most of the day innately wired to be fear based reactive, which is the opposite of how we want to be if we want to be successful. And so I look at that and go, Wow, you know, sure, you can implant a chip in your head, and expand your potential. But if you don't have control over yourself, before you do that, it does you absolutely no good. And, and I am amazed at how only about one in seven people does anything, they impact their mindset to take control over their mindset, to override being wired for survival. And, and to, you know, define their identity and make that then by feeding that identity to yourself every day, you become that identity. You know, I see, in all my years on this planet, how fundamentally simple success is, it's just, it's just not that hard. You know, you create what you want to be, then you feed it to yourself every day. And that, that gives you control over yourself. And, you know, it's just amazing in this world of clutter, that people can't see that. Do you agree? Yeah,
• 18:19
  Kelly Hatfield: I 100% agree, it was funny. I can't remember if we were talking about it, in this episode, or another episode, where we were talking about, like, what our experience was, oh, we were talking off air, I think, with what our experience was with think it'd be like, who really this is for, and like how you have to be kind of, you know, the type of people who've been successful, are wired a little bit differently. They're driven, you know, they, you know, the all of the things that we've talked about. And I find that fascinating, like, even with some of the teams that I work with, and where I bring up this concept of your brain, how it works, I mean, even just a basic education, about how many peoples are just science. Right. And they're missing out on an you know, an opportunity. There are just so many people, what I'm recognizing is that aren't intentional about growth, about learning about learning more about these things that can really give them a leg up.
• 19:22
  John Mitchell: Well, you know, I can't imagine if if, if your team of primarily women, maybe all women, you know, they're right there. They're seeing you every day that you have such a commanding presence and like your superpower is being totally present. They've got to be sitting there admiring you, and why aren't they going? I want to be like her way. She's got something that she's doing. I want to do it. Well, you know, that's pure logic, but that is not how it works, is it?
• 19:56
  Kelly Hatfield: No, it isn't, you know, and I think just the emotions I think there's so much we've talked to up before that gets in the way, um, you know, I think distractions and self doubt and putting limits on yourself and the stories you tell yourself and you know, all of these things. And if I just have a little bit of time with them, you know, versus, you know, working alongside somebody that's different, you know, I think that wanting something. And man, that'd be great if I fill in the blank. Yeah, very different. Like, we've talked about four than being committed. Yeah, you're working six, if you're committed, you'll do whatever it takes to make it happen. Like, I just, I want to emulate this behavior or whatever. But if it's, you're just interested the first time it gets tougher, you get uncomfortable, it's like, you're, you're falling back to your old patterns and everything again. Right? Oh, it's just part of human nature, like we talked about in a previous previous episode, like the frailties, you know, and deficiencies of human nature that, you know, we have so many things working against us and success, we're not wired neatly for success.
• 20:57
  John Mitchell: Right. Right. Yeah. You know, I've gotten to the point, though, where I'm, like, you know, people get this concept of, of, of taking their life and creating immense intention and clarity, and feeding it to themselves every day. And then how that impacts your daily actions. You know, people either get that or they don't, there's, there's no sense in trying to beat him up a white belt, why don't you get it, you should get it. You know, it's the central concept of the topic, the world says success. It as you know, they either get it, or they don't get it. And if they don't get it now, maybe they'll get it at some future point. You know, they're just not ready to get it. But yeah, you know, to wrap this this up, you know, as I told you, many times, you know, in my 30s and 40s, I always was seeking a success formula and thinking that it that there is a one thing that you can do that if you did it, it would assure your success and you know, I'd given up on on probably fine in it by the time it turned 50. And then I discovered in the most logical place in the world, the top book of the world on success. And so I look at it and go, well, there is a success formula. And it's so freakin easy. And it only takes 12 minutes a day. So how cool is that? Yeah. Okay, until next time, we'll say
• 22:30
  Kelly Hatfield: Thanks for listening today. If you've had your own aha moment from today's episode, send me or John an email. We'd love to share your epiphany with our audience. So email us at Kelly@thinkitbeit.com or John@thinkitbeit.com. In the meantime, live the exceptional life